Miss Me? - Listen Bitch! My Loneliness Is Killing Me

Episode Date: January 6, 2025

Lily Allen and Miquita Oliver answer your questions about loneliness.Next week, we want to hear your questions about RESPECT. Please send us a voice note on WhatsApp: [phone]. Or, if you like, send us an email: [e-mail] episode contains very strong language and adult themes. Credits: Producer: Flossie Barratt Technical Producer: Will Gibson Smith Production Coordinator: Hannah Bennett Executive Producers: Dino Sofos and Ellie Clifford Assistant Commissioner for BBC: Lorraine Okuefuna Commissioning Editor for BBC: Dylan Haskins Miss Me? is a Persephonica production for BBC Sounds

This BBC podcast is supported by ads outside the UK. BBC Sounds music radio podcasts. This episode of Miss Me contains very strong language, adult themes, references to drugs and a jolly good time. Lonely, I'm so lonely. I was just about to go, what's a good lonely song? My loneliness is killing me. I did want to start the year with a listen bitch that wasn't just karaoke but it's just I'm sorry it's just in us my favorite Justin Bieber song is called lonely as well

do you remember when he came on t4 and I he sat on my lap that's so weird everyone's like you can't fancy that kid and then two years later I was like yeah fancy Justin Bieber but he sat on my lap. And that is bad. Okay, it was it was on air and no one said anything. So it's nothing to look back at and be worried about people. Let's get our first question for this week's Let's do that. The theme is loneliness. Hi, Lily, I'm Makeda. This is Savannah calling from Corn Lily and Makita. This is Savannah calling from Cornwall in the UK. Absolutely love the show.

I literally religiously listen to it. Anyway, my question is, I'm 29 going on 30 soon. And over the years, I found it really difficult to sort of explain to my friends and other people in my life that I actually never feel alone, ever. I'm so happy on my own and I'm so happy in my own company. And quite frankly, I could shut myself away

for three weeks and not see anybody. And I don't consider that loneliness. I personally absolutely love it. I love being away from everything and all the way from the noise and everything like that. So my question is, am I the weirdo? Like, am I the weird one for feeling like that? Because it seems like so many of my friends and so many people in my life are just crying out for company all the time.

And I don't know, maybe I get called a recluse or I get called sort of like a loner, but I don't really care. Have you ever experienced that where you just really love your own company and you really don't see the problem with it? Anyway, love the show, like I said, and have a great day. Thank you. Have a great day. It's a thin line, isn't it?

I mean, I would say that I enjoy my own company, but I also would say that I'm massively avoidant and I am terrified of rejection and abandonment. And so actually it's just easier for me to not engage because then there is less risk of me being disappointed or let down. So I don't know, Savannah, I'm probably the wrong person to ask. So why don't we hand over to Makita Oliver?

I really like my own company. I really like reading something that makes me laugh and being alone and getting the giggles. That makes me feel really happy. It feels like a real connection between me and my mind and what I like. And like, it's really weird the shit that makes me laugh when I read things. There was this brilliant writer called Victor Llewellyn Smith who wrote for the Evening Standard when I was young. He wrote this article. Victor Louis Smith, another white man with dreads. That's it. Victor Louis Smith, not an ex. But he was very smart and he wrote this kind

of scathing review of a TV show that was on the night before. And I remember my mum was reading it to her friend and she just couldn't stop laughing and she was like crying with laughter. And I remember thinking, it made me love her so much. I don't know why. And I think I always think about that moment where there's just something that makes you, it gets you and it's between you and yourself. And it's quite intimate. And actually, loneliness is quite a damning word. And really what we're talking about is intimacy with oneself, which I've been growing a while now. And I haven't singled quite a while.

And I've really learnt shit that I just know I wouldn't have learnt if I was in a relationship at this period of my life. And I think the really good shit in relationships comes from when you really know yourself. So we've got to have some of that time and not be afraid that it's going to get to this place this destination called loneliness, which is this sort of scared platform of nothingness. I think there's a lot to be said for not being scared of getting close to yourself. Tall Phoebe had a show actually, our friend who's a great artist, genius artist, and it was called How Close Can You Get to

Yourself Without Flinching? And I thought that was a really good question for every human being to ask themselves. When you're like, Oh God, this is a bit, I'm a bit close. Oh, go closer. And then even closer. It's actually made me feel sick. You're not good at this, honey. But you could get better. This is something to, This is what I'm going to do. This is what I'm going to do. But yes, I don't think you're a loner, lovely lady. I can't remember your name. Yeah, in my 2025 non-NOC, I'm remembering people's names. Who just asked that question? Savannah.

And where did she live? Cornwall. Correct! Yes, I remembered the Cornwall bit. Well done. Okay, let's have another question from another Listen Bitch person. Hi, Lilian Makita. It's Sophie. I'm 32. And I'm currently living in Dubai. I wanted to ask about loneliness. Since moving out in Dubai, I have really struggled to connect with people out here. And the distance have made it really hard to stay in contact with my friends and have that bond still. So I'm struggling with my loneliness. Miss me is a huge part of my routine in making me feel less lonely. It's really helped me when I don't feel like I have that female friendship. So I wanted to ask what things

do you do to combat your loneliness? I love the podcast. It really has helped. Thank you. Lily, can you fucking believe that our friendship is making other people feel less lonely? That's a really beautiful thing to say to our mental six-year-old selves. It is nice. Yeah.

So lovely. Combating loneliness. Getting a dog. That really has been great. Oh my God. I love my dog so lovely. Combating loneliness, getting a dog. That really has been great. Oh my God, I love my dog so much. You have Jude now. Got Jude and I've got my two girls. I don't know, I mean, I'd hate to be a Debbie Downer,

but I feel like I've sort of carried loneliness around with me since birth. It's just there with me all the time. I'd like to've sort of carried loneliness around with me since birth. It's just there with me all the time. I'd like to get rid of it. No, but don't say get rid. Again, with how do you combat loneliness? But I'm not trying to pretend it doesn't exist. It's okay to be sad, to be lonely, to be scared, to be afraid.

And then you live your life anyway. You know, boredom. That's like why Instagram is such a fucking nightmare, because before people just allowed themselves to be a little bit bored. It's okay. But I feel like today we are, everything needs to be filled. Every moment must be filled. And those moments, it'd be fucking spectacular

in the greatest moments of your life. Living my best life. Sometimes life is slow, and sometimes life is a bit lonely. And those moments, it better be fucking spectacular in the greatest moments of your life. Living my best life. Sometimes life is slow and sometimes life is a bit lonely. But it's not only that. And that's really important. Although if I see a man on a bus who looks a bit vulnerable and lonely, it does make me want, that really makes me want to cry.

A man? Why does a man, a lonely man make you want to cry more than a lonely woman? If it's like a man and he's like 80 and he's like, yeah, there's something about it. Oh, sadness in his eyes or something. I don't get it with women. I'm just like, is he OK? Oh, Kate. I don't know. It's really weird.

I think it was from when I was a kid on the bus to school. And there'd be quite a lot of like older men like on me like they had sticks And they were a bit vulnerable on the 31 up to not enough and we're some buck I even say to my mom my office when I was a kid. I'd be like is boy George. Okay, does he have like a friend? and my mom Just I'm like, just check if Boy George okay. Just check in on Boy George please. I do, I used to, I'm so, this is empathy. No, I am a bit of a fucking empath.

I'm sorry not to sound like an arsehole, but I do feel deeply for old men on buses and I hope they're okay. They have room houses to go back to. God, it was quite a lot. buses and I hope they're okay. They have room houses to go back to. God, it was quite a lot. That's how I'm feeling in the beginning of the year. Bit emotional. You're about to come on your period, babe. Yes, it's late.

I'm waiting for it. It's some deeply BMS land right now. Okay, there we go. Okay. Do you ever worry about anyone being lonely in our lives, like any aunties or uncles or friends of ours? No, but I will later on in the year because I'm being more empathetic That will creep up for you. No, I do worry about people I worry about

You know what? It's mainly men in my life as well that I worry about This is what I'm saying apparently but there is an epidemic of male. Because they can't look after themselves. So, that makes sense. Like, you know, I remember when, in the beginning of the pandemic, when David was here in New York and we were in London, and things had started to get like locked down, and he was in his apartment, we were FaceTiming him and I was

like, what are you going to eat? And he was like, peas. And Marnie just went, he's going to die. He's going to die in that chat mom. He's got to come here. It's a weird way of thinking isn't it? It's not, let me go. I mean, I guess it's locked down, but let me find a way to get things in my house and cook for myself and nourish myself. It's like, it's a different, I mean, I don't want to be too generalistic. But Autumn just said that there is this male loneliness epidemic and she thinks it's because women are marrying men less and they can't look after themselves. Shouldn't have acted like such dickheads then. They probably want to marry. they should probably stop acting like dicks. That's a good answer. Next question please. Hi, this is Frank from Highgate in North London. I work in IT so I've noticed how things have changed considerably in the digital world and as connected as we are, we are even more lonely than ever. And I see it, you know, in my kids and how their connections are.

Uh, it's all online and it doesn't feel like it was back in the day when we had friends that were all near us, uh, and, you know, within walking distance, most of the time, but now their friends can be miles away, right? All online. And obviously text is the minimum form of communication. It's done 90% of the time in their lives. So I just wondered how you felt kids and the younger generation who didn't have what we had

will make connections in the future in this hyper-connected world that isn't. Cheers, love the podcast, take care, bye. Thank you for that question, Frank from Highgate. I think it's terrifying, I think it's changing the world, the loneliness of young people and the disconnect between them. Yeah, it's obviously hugely concerning. Well, this is what I do about it, I took my phone, the phones away from my kids. They still have smart watches

and they can text on them. But I really encourage connection. So whenever anyone, either of the kids asks to go on play dates or have people around to the house, I will always say yes. Yeah. And you're quite often out with the kids on like a five kid outing. Yeah. Having a fag and calling me. So that's quite old school to make sure that they're all together out in the city. It's funny because we, you know, I guess when we were growing up, we'd all like just hang out on road or whatever. And then we'd be like, Oh, concerns are coming back to my house.

And your mom's instinct would be like, no. Whereas now it's like, it's like the opposite. We want to be encouraging people to come back to the house and to kids anyway to connect because there's so little of it. I feel like my mom let any any reprobate mate of mine through the door to be honest. Other parents no. Other parents had boundaries. My mom was like sure! Yeah, anyone could come around. Well for me, it's them having fun and playing with other human beings is more important than like homework. I'd rather they were making connections than Putting pressure on them to perform. There's so much pressure

And how do you feel about the kids being in New York away from like Phoebe's kids and Jess's kids and everyone's kids. Oh, I don't want don't want hanging out with Phoebe's kids Picking up bad habits. Stop kids. Oh, I don't want them hanging out with Phoebe's kids. Picking up bad habits. Stop it. No, I'm joking. It makes me sad. I was like one of the first. I mean, Olivia, who's a friend of ours,

she was the first out of our lot to have a baby. But even more sort of in a circle, I feel like I was the first. And I did have this dream that Jess would have babies, Phoebe would have babies, and we'd all like bring up our kids together. And for some reason that hasn't really happened. I guess, you know, Phoebe moved to France, I moved to New York.

You know, I'm godmother to Jess's daughter, Peggy, but you know, Jess can be quite avoidant sometimes, and it's quite hard to get hold of her. And so, yeah, I feel like a little bit like we failed to give our kids what our parents gave us, which is us, you know? Yes, yeah. There's still time.

Yeah. Maybe we just need to introduce them to squat parties. Yeah, what did bind us together in our early tweens? Guys, there's this place. Drugs. You know what, they're all just far too clean living. We were bound. Soon as they start taking drugs, it'll be fine. Close as anything. They'll be high and revealing their shit to each other. They'll get close. All right, let's have another quiz. This week's listen, bitch. The theme is loneliness. Hello, Lillian Makita. Love the theme. This week, to be honest, it's something that I'm going through

a little bit, being an expat in a different country. But my question actually is related to fame. I wanted to know how you navigated, both of you, loneliness whilst being very famous, because I've read a lot of stories from artists, singers, performers that actually fame is a very, very lonely place. So I was curious to know how you experienced that and if you experienced that. Big time. Lily, we have two very different kinds of fame. I wonder if our loneliness is different within it because of that because I didn't have so much

noise which I feel like then dies down which creates a different sense of loneliness like crowds, paparazzi. Yeah, I, I felt, yeah, really lonely. And I remember like sometimes, cause I would read my own press. So I'd like read, you know, Lily in trouble in like Grazia or whatever else those stories were that used to come out, still do. Every single day, yeah.

And sometimes when I would be trying to have like an open and vulnerable conversation with somebody that I cared about and loved and respected, and they would, I could tell that they had read these things too, just in the way that they were talking to me. So like, there was a conversation that I had with someone, you know,

that was about, you know, the breakdown of mine and Sam's marriage. And I wanted to talk to them about that. And they said, I knew, you know, you must be like really worried about like keeping this place running. And I was like, no, I'm not. But I know that where you got that from,

you got that from that article that was about you know Me not having enough money or something. I just it's just like oh my god I can't I can't even like have a conversation without I feel so so like Everyone's already got my number because they've they read this stuff that they believe and so When you're trying to tell someone what your problem is and they're like, yeah, but isn't your problem this? It's like, no, I'm telling you what my problem is. You're not listening to me

because you just see me as this thing. And that's really lonely, yeah. Very aware of that time. I'm very aware of my misgivings as a friend in that time. I just wasn't there for you properly. I really wasn't. I couldn't really understand because I think also because I was famous in this really different way. I was like, I get it, but it's so different. I did have stories, but not every day. It

was like sort of five terrible stories about me across 10 years. Not shitty things said about me every single day. Till now, really, for you, till now. So it'd be great if we were talking about this in like a past tense situation, but this shit still goes down. But then, you know, I think my loneliness within being a well-known person came from, I've discussed it before, it came from being mixed race and feeling

like I didn't have anyone that looked like me in that position. So I felt very unworthy of that position. And that's a very lonely feeling, which is why I threw it all away and, you know, shoved it all up my bum instead. That's why I sort of like pressed you a little bit on our last show when you were talking about Jasper and what he said, because I imagined that that had something, there was something going on there that felt quite similar, you know, being with Saul.

Yeah, and then cemented by the press calling me Lily Allen's grubby little friend for 10 years. It was like, okay. Oh God, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Oh, you, you, we should not be sorry because we survived. Yeah. I'm happy we experienced both these things made us stronger, Lil, and, uh, experienced wizened women who will not take shit of any kind.

That's who we've become. I've become Rasta. And you've become- I'm still a bit of a dormant. I've become Rasta. And you've become... I'm still a bit of a dormer. Me too. Me too! But in theory, I don't take shit from no one. But yes, in life I absolutely, yeah, still keep coming into my life. But as I said, life is a spiral, not a circle. You are always met with the same things.

What's the speech in Cool Runnings where he goes, I feel pride. I feel power. I'm a badass mother who don't take no shit from nobody. My God, maybe that is your New Year's resolution. I feel pride, I feel power. I feel power. I'm a badass mother who don't take no shit from nobody. If anyone hasn't seen Cool Runnings,

you might need to change your life. It's quite a good new year film actually. I will take that line. That is why I love you for just pulling that Cool Runnings mantra out of bag in our loneliness list, bitch. That's why I do this with only you. Okay, let's, what are we on? I think we should go and indulge in our loneliness list, bitch. That's why I do this with only you. Okay, let's, what are we on? I think we should go and indulge in some loneliness for a few minutes.

I'm going to go sit in silence in my bedroom for 30 seconds. Because I can be close to my loneliness. Welcome back. I feel much better now. I feel much better now. Rooted and ready to go. Hi, Lily Makita. This is Scarlett calling from London. I love the podcast. I think you're both iconic. I wanted to respond to the theme of loneliness because few times in my life I've had situations where I've sort of had a big friendship breakup or have been in a friendship group that has like, I've realized quickly that the friendship group wasn't really for me. I don't know whether that's because I've never necessarily fit into like traditional girl group dynamics.

I've always felt like I'm a bit different. And I came out as queer last year, which has kind of mainly realized that actually I was trying to make friends with lots of people that weren't necessarily very like right for me or they weren't similar to me. So my question is, have you ever felt lonely within a friendship group? And do you think it's worth waiting until you find the people that make you happy in your 20s? Thank you so much. Bye. Oh, God, are you only in your 20s? I see you're just learning this. Absolutely don't hang out with them anymore. If you're really lonely in your friendship group, they're not your people. We were lucky because we had so many calls from the early

days and then of course I brought in some flash in the pans in our twenties and some of them stayed. But I would not advise spending one minute with a gang of girls who are making you feel anything other than safe. It's not the one, bruv. it's not the one. It's a waste of time. But you're in your 20s, you probably wouldn't, you're probably still learning that. You gotta kind of do a little bit of it to learn it, how else are you gonna learn? But you never really had a weird girl gang, oh, apart from the bleach years. That was quite a strange one. That was my first experience of you sort of having this gang of friends that I didn't know and I didn't think that that... I'm still friends with them, a lot of those girls.

Oh, and I thought it was a great idea. Thought it was over. I thought it was a great idea and I thought they were all great. But yeah, that was quite new for me when you were like, I'm in Dalston with Lou and Alex and Sam. I was like, okay. Yeah, I, as I say, I just, I always feel lonely. But I think you roll quite lone wolf. Not with your boy gang. You've had more boy gangs.

I've had quite a few sort of fake girl friendships that I thought were deeper at the time and you told me they weren't. And then, and I have been part maybe of more like cliques than you have. I don't think you really roll like that and you never really have. So interesting that I don't have a boy gang anymore. Well maybe that's what you need. Do you think it is?

Fuck yeah. I'm always rolled with a boy gang. I think they really always made you feel really protected and loved. You know, we weren't going to exactly who they are because I guess it morphed into different parts. But like that core energy for you feeling like you got like a backup of boys that like had Lily's back. I loved that.

I loved when you had that. Should we do auditions for your new boy gang? So this is the thing, is that like, you know, yes, it makes me feel protected, but also, isn't like, aim of the game is that you need to get to yourself to a place where you make you feel protected. You don't have to rely on other people.

That's the lonely child in me talking, isn't it? It's like, don't let anyone in, you can handle this all on your own and then you might not get hurt. Actually, yes, this is important because you know how I was saying, loneliness is just a place of intimacy for oneself, with oneself, but that's not the same as like,

you're allowed to have abundance of love and protection in your life, as well as finding it within yourself. That's like, give yourself more. You do get quite like, I can deal with this. You don't have to deal with it on your own. I think we need a new boy gang. Or we'll just call the old ones in and see if they're available. Robbie? But I do have some gays, but I feel like I'm talking about a hetero boy gang. Man gang

because I'm 40 this year. It is settled. We will find you a new man gang. Man gang. Let's have the penultimate Listen Bitch question for Listen Bitch, first edition 2025. Hi, Miquita. Hi, Lily. Chris here from Manchester. Absolutely love the podcast. I want to talk about loneliness and friends. I am very blessed and I have some very, very good friends that I met at university. However, since university, 15 years have passed and we all live in different parts of the country now. And I find it very difficult as an adult, 35 year old man, to make new friends.

And I'm just wondering if you ever felt like that or have any tips about how to make new friends. Oh my God. It's terrifying, isn't it? Making new friends. This is, it's terrible. And actually I've spoken to my therapist about this because, you know, at time, when you're learning social skills, like most people are doing it when they leave the nest and they go to university and they figure out how to find their people who share common interests or whatever, that age, I was like famous. And so people really came to me.

I did not have to learn how to do that because people wanted to be my friend. They wanted to be in my presence. Break through. Yeah. And so I found that that like almost impossible to like approach and find my people. I found it really hard here in New York to do that. It's just not a skill that I was able to learn because I was always being approached and I was like skeptical of people because I was always like, what is your,

do you wanna be near me because you wanna be near me or do you wanna be near me because you wanna be near this thing that I have? And so I became quite, you know, shut down. And that's something that has stayed with me. I'd really like for that to change because it's lonely. Freedom forties, babe, the freedom forties. I'm really enjoying you talking about all these things

you want to shed. It's really good. That's a breakthrough for me. That is really interesting. Every friend came to you. And that's a really different kind of energy of friendship because you do feel like in some way something that you have is serving them. Because you know what, when I was 17 and I'd been on telly for like a year, a year and a half, whatever, Phoebe was with Rory and he had a birthday party with like his crew at the William IV and I'd been on telly for like a year, a year and a half, whatever, Phoebe was with Rory and they, and he had a birthday party with like his crew at the William the fourth. And

I couldn't talk to anyone. And Phoebe was like, woo, this is Blah, this is Reese and this is my new gang. And I was like, Oh my God, I'm socially inept. I couldn't speak to anyone because they all knew me from the telly, Phoebe's cousin from the telly and I couldn't relax. And then we found cocaine. And then Rory gave me a lot of cocaine. I was good for like 15 years making friends. You're like, found it! Found it! Yeah, but actually, no, but that's interesting because yes, and then I spent a lot of time building friendships on drugs and alcohol.

Yes. So same. Same ziz. We did that together. Zizies. Same ziz. We took that one together. Not advisable.

No, it's not advisable, is it? Yeah, for two reasons, because it's very unhealthy and it doesn't breed anything real. Unethical, it's unethical. Unethical, and you can't get rid of those fuckers. They never leave. Okay, breakthroughs all around in the loneliness app. Okay, I've got a lot to think about.

Okay, one more question. This is the last question. It's the final countdown. Do do do do, do do do do do, do do do do do do. It's final countdown. Q question. Nice teamwork. Hello, Lily and Makita.

My name is Tatiana. I'm calling from London. In fact, I live around Hackney Marshes and I know my boyfriend spotted Makita walking her dog the other day. He came back very excited to tell me because he knows how much I love your podcast. Lily, absolutely love you and I just love your friendship and I love that you just have a topic every week and it's just so inclusive. So my question regarding loneliness is when you're feeling lonely do you find yourself going through your phone and WhatsApping your closest friends to see who's available.

So your message, let's say your top four girlfriends and you'll see if they're available and then whoever replies back, you make plans and if two of them reply back then you just make a whole thing of it as in inviting both of them and doing something with both of them. I would feel a little bit guilty because I feel like I'm not selecting just one, I'm just going with whoever's available because I feel like being in London it can be a terribly lonely place and not everyone is always available. Is that something that you ever do where you just text everyone at the same time and whoever comes back to you first you go out with? Anyway love you girls so much bye! Hi neighbour, hi Tatiana., but I do have that kind of list of like, the feeling I'm having will affect who I text first.

Okay. If I text you first, it's because. Of daddy issues. No, probably because I need the truth. Right. And to giggle. I know if I call you, it depends where we're at in our lives, but if I really need to just like talk shit and giggle,

I can call you. And then if I need you to tell me the truth. Like when I found out about fibroids and I was like, this is actually really serious and real. I don't really wanna call someone and be like, yeah, it's fine. I was like, if I call Lily, I can fall apart. I didn't.

I didn't, you were like, okay, okay, yep, that is serious, okay. All right, well this is what we're gonna do. And it's like, oh, so actually maybe it's when I need saving. I call you. And then if I'm lonely, sorry Phoebe Oliver. Yeah, standard. When do you call me? What do you call me for?

Um, a bitch? What? When I want a bitch around someone? Oh a bitch! Sure! Absolutely. You know? Bring bring. Do you know who's really fucking annoying? Okay. We'll dive in. Did you see what I sent you? Did you see the link I sent you? Did you see? Yeah, did you see what I sent you?

Have you seen it yet? I need to discuss this further. Can you believe it? Um, yeah, but when I'm feeling lonely, I cannot. I know. I cannot do the text. Like, I love the idea of like, I would text four friends, yeah, over the space of six years maybe. Like, I don't... Why do you... We're here for you.

Why do you not believe we are? Is it that you don't even know what to say? Because you don't even have to speak to me. You could FaceTime me and just watch TV and... I just feel like when I'm feeling low and lonely, I feel like a burden. I know. I don't want to offload my shit onto other people. I feel like it's okay, you can handle this, you can do this, you'll get through this

and then you'll be back and you can be fun again. You know what you're allowed to do with day ones is be a total mess. It's like that's the point. I beg of you this year to try not to do it all on your own. Yeah, I think also I think there is like, you know, trauma from, you know, the noughties or whatever and, you know, when things were like bad or I had like felt guilt or shame around things that I didn't wanna tell people

because I didn't want it to end up in the papers like that. Yeah, and that's still a valid fear. And so, yeah, I feel like I can't be honest about what's going on in my life sometimes. Do you know what? We just did an entire year of being extremely honest about what's going on in our lives. You're really good at it. You're really good at sharing it. You know, I think there's a couple, I don't want

to go into numbers. Don't go into numbers. It's been quite a big hit in the podcast all around the world and you have shared your shit with people. It's helped people. So I'm here to help you. On that note. On that note, should we end the first list of the bitch of the year in tears? Yes, why not? It's that same old list me, we won't change.

Expect the same emotional roller coaster for another year. And I doubt for me, yeah, not being a narcissistic victim, that didn't last very long, did it? This isn't victim, this is honesty. That's not victim, this is honesty. And this is Miss Me. We will see you next week. Lily, you are picking theme for Listen Bitch.

Yeah, guess what my theme is. Respect. Let's go, it's a brand new year. Who knows what could happen, but anything is possible. Yes, I will end the first edition of Listen Bitch 2025 with Barbra Streisand. Thank you everyone. Thank you, Lily. I love you so much and I'll see you next week. I'm only crying because I'm jet lagged. I know babe, you need to just go to sleep now. Just go, get into bed. Okay, I'm going to.

Okay, I love you, I'll see you next week. I just love you, I'll see you after we've done some pickups. Okay, I'll see you then. Thanks for listening to Miss Me with Lily Allen and Makita Oliver. This is a Persephoneca production for BBC Sounds. In Northern Ireland, from the late 70s to the early 90s, the IRA killed over 40 alleged

informers. Men and women accused of passing information to the police and the British Army. But the man who often found, tortured and sometimes killed these people on behalf of the IRA was himself an informer, a secret British Army agent with the code name Stakeknife. These were police agents, I'd had to find other agents. Just how was one man allowed to lead a double life for so long? It's not like James Bond, it's not a black and white situation. When lies are still being told to this day, who do you believe? I wouldn't even know where to start and I'm with the IRA.

Stake knife. Listen now on BBC Science. Yoga is more than just exercise. It's the spiritual practice that millions swear by. And in 2017, Miranda, a university tutor from London, joins a yoga school that promises profound transformation. It felt a really safe and welcoming space. After the yoga classes I felt amazing.

But soon, that calm, welcoming atmosphere leads to something far darker, a journey that leads to allegations of grooming, trafficking and exploitation across international borders. I don't have my passport, I don't have my phone, I don't have my bank cards, I have nothing. The passport being taken, the being in a house and not feeling like they can leave. World of Secrets is where untold stories are unveiled and hidden realities are exposed. In this new series, we're confronting the dark side of the wellness industry,

where the hope of a spiritual breakthrough gives way to disturbing accusations. You just get sucked in so gradually and it's done so skillfully that you don't realize. And it's like this secret that's there. I wanted to believe that, you know, that whatever they were doing, even if it seemed gross to me, was for some spiritual reason that I couldn't yet understand. Revealing the hidden secrets of a global yoga network. I feel that I have no other choice.

The only thing I can do is to speak about this and to put my reputation and everything else on the line. I want truth and justice and for other people to not be hurt for things to be different in the future. To bring it into the light and almost alchemize some of that evil stuff that went on and take back the power. World of Secrets season 6 The Bad Guru. Listen wherever you get your podcasts.