Miss Me? - Listen Bitch! Papa Don’t Preach

Episode Date: January 20, 2025

Miquita Oliver and Mabel answer your questions about fathers.Next week, we want to hear your questions about CHEATING. Please send us a voice note on WhatsApp: [phone]. Or, if you like, send us an email: [e-mail] episode contains very strong language and adult themes. Credits: Producer: Flossie Barratt Technical Producer: Will Gibson Smith Production Coordinator: Hannah Bennett Executive Producers: Dino Sofos and Ellie Clifford Assistant Commissioner for BBC: Lorraine Okuefuna Commissioning Editor for BBC: Dylan Haskins Miss Me? is a Persephonica production for BBC Sounds

This BBC podcast is supported by ads outside the UK. 12 stories of extraordinary young people from across history. There's a real sense of urgency in them. That resistance has to be mounted, it has to be mounted now. Follow History's Youngest Heroes wherever you get your podcasts. BBC Sounds music radio podcasts. This episode of Miss Me contains strong language and adult themes. Welcome to Listen Bitch, a little special bitchy listen with my cousin, Mabelina Mabel. Mabel, do you listen to Miss Me? It's okay if you don't.

No, do you know what I do? I have way too much ADHD to actually focus on anything, but I'm constantly saving the clips. Oh. Like, actually, I do that all the time. It's so, so, so good. Okay, I love that. You guys are so funny.

It's also because I've known, like, you and Lily have just always been in my lives as my, like, the wise ones. Apart from the night. Oh yeah, that night. Oh my god. Christmas 2018, I think it was, when me and Lily and Mabel had a little party and we didn't let it stop and it really should have. It really spiraled. It really spiraled. And it was just the three of us. It was not

a party. I would like that to be known for the record. There was no reason. There was no reason for us to be quite so ravey. But yeah, as the wiser elders, we shouldn't have taken you down the garden path. No, just that one. That's it though. True say it could have. We could have done a lot worse. Yeah, for sure. Just the one time.

So, this is Listen Bitch and I wonder if I could get you to say Listen Bitch because we got Miss Me Live coming up and I was hoping to get the whole crowd to go, Listen Bitch! So I just thought, how would you say Listen Bitch? Okay, let me move the mic because I am really aggressive, just like my demeanor naturally is really aggressive. Listen Bitch! demeanor naturally is really aggressive. Listen, bitch. That's quite aggressive, yeah, you're right. Okay.

Listen, bitch. All right. The theme for this week's Listen, Bitch, if you haven't already heard, I'm sure it's been ringing around the world, is fathers. Let's have our first question for today's Listen, Bitch. Hello, Lillian Makita. My name is Emily. I'm a musician from London and I just want to say I absolutely love your podcast. I've been listening since day dot and you have taken me back to so many times throughout the year of amazing memories, good and bad. And I just

have so much identification each week listening to your podcast, so thank you so much. Going back to father is a very interesting topic. I haven't spoken to my father since April because I have put boundaries in place, because he is very toxic and he doesn't serve me well. A lot of friends and family say, oh, but you only have one father, you should make up like blah, blah, blah, blah. But I think we should make it the norm that we should be able to have boundaries, even if it's with parents.

And just because they're our parents doesn't mean we have to have them in our lives. What are your thoughts and take on that? Do you agree or do you feel like life's too short? Let me know. Love you girls so much. Keep going. Keep thriving one day at a time. Don't think you could get rid of your parents even if you tried. I was just going to say what you mean. They moved in next door. I was like, guys, I'm

getting married, okay? I'm going to live. Just me and my partner, they literally bought the house next door. So I, yeah. They are next door as we speak. They are next door. They are literally texting me like, let me know when you're done so I can come back around. I'm like, guys, I just need five minutes. But we should remember that when you were born, it was very, the golden child has arrived. Yeah, that's true.

And everyone bowed the fuck down. This is true. And everyone bowed the fuck down. This is true. I think it's really important to be honest about it. You have been adored by your father your whole life. Yeah, I have been. I wonder what that's like. Does it make for a good relationship with a dad to be adored by them? I do have the best relationship with my dad.

He can actually listen bitch me. He's one of the only people when when dad tells me like you're being a brat or like, no, you have to do this. I believe him getting shouted at by Cameron Mouvet is not fun. Fuck off. No way. Fuck that shit. Too many times. Oh my god. Horrid. In the depths of my past.

You're triggered. So triggered. times. Oh my God. Depths of my past. I can't even, I don't even want to. You're triggered. So triggered. One time I was bunking school because when I moved in with everyone, with the Cherries, I also, Cameron paid for me to go to a new school, but I think it was my sixth school and I was 15 and I just started bunking and he found out and oh, laters. He screamed at me in the kitchen. He took me

into the computer room. Oh, not the computer room. And to really go for it. I was like, this is the most upsetting thing that's ever happened to me. Yeah. But he was right, to be honest. I deserved it. That's the thing that's so annoying about him is that like, he is quite often right. He may not say things in the most delicate way, but he is usually right, which is so annoying.

But no, I think like our relationship has been really special. I guess they were working a lot still, right? When the other kids were small. And so by the time they had me, I think they both kind of were like, we're going to focus, we're going to, you know. Zoning. And so I was very blessed to have that relationship with my parents. I do think though, listening to the question, I did have a couple years, remember, when I had quite clear boundaries with mum and dad, and just like, not wanting the chaos of everything around me. And I lived with Tiffy's family for a while. And I by no means ever wanted to cut them off entirely. I think actually life's too short.

And with parents, you kind of need to like look at the things that are great. But I always say to people, yeah, make a list of the things that are really great about your parent because there'll be way more things than you think. And then the other things, I'm just like, it's kind of just not my problem. And like, I just keep that away from me as much as I can with them living next door. But I think boundaries are important. But I do also think like, still the person that like made you. Yeah, well, I have my, I was gonna say my new dad, my relationship with my biological

dad is now a huge part of my life. And Garfield is my stepfather and the love of my life when it comes to the fathers in my life. And I was like, how the fuck is this going to work? But it just does because everyone loves each other. But my real dad, he sort of said something to me the other day that just took me back to being a scared kid. And I was like, fuck, I don't trust you. And I did something really new. I said to him, I was like, you know what, what you just said really freaked me out because

of all the stuff. And I need to just get, I need to just discuss that with you quickly. And we did. I was like, look at me or 40 years old and living my life. Unpacking shit with my dad. Unpacking! It was good. I was like, ah, same old thing. What do I do with this? So I suppose in a way that's a boundary to not just let something be said or something happen and then go, it's okay, he's my parent

and I'll just let because that shit festers. It's so important to have boundaries with family and with parents and with everyone. Like, saying no and like letting somebody know when they've hurt you, I think is really important. I don't actually know if like boundaries in just like, well, I'm just not talking to this person. I personally haven't had a lot of success with that. Like just cutting people out. I think it is good to have time sometimes and space also for the other person. But boundaries are different aren't they? Because boundaries are saying to keep you in my life, I need to create some sort of space. This is how we interact with each other.

This is how much time I can spend with you. This is like, because when you do these things or when these things happen, it upsets me because of blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So here's the boundary. I think. I fucking love a boundary. Oh, I love boundaries. I love them so much.

I'll get in love with them. All right, Mabel, you ask for the next question then. Next question, please. Hi, Makita. My name's Charlie. I live in Stockport in Greater Manchester, but I'm originally from Edinburgh and actually born in London. In the topic of fathers,

my dad actually introduced me to Lily Allen's music when I was a teenager and we used to listen to it all the time. He passed away almost three years ago and this podcast is brilliant because it really makes me think of him and it makes me think like I'm really glad that him and I shared that thing and he introduced me to that. So my question is, is there something that your dad has introduced you to and that you're really appreciative of? 100% that is so lovely by the way. I'm so happy that Miss Me has given you that. Yes, art. My dad's a painter, Robin, my biological father is a painter and he asked me to meet him at Somerset House and it was all the Renaissance

painters and I was just a bit like, oh God, what the fuck are we going to do? Talk about art. And he didn't talk about art with me. He helped me understand it and look into why I might feel something about everything that we were looking at. And I did, but I didn't really know how to actualize it. And I was like, this is fucking interesting. He like unlocked something in me that only he could unlock. And I love talking to him about art now. I was always scared to talk about art. And I feel very kind of free in that space because of my relationship with him and how brilliant he's also a kind of like profess, you know,

he hates me calling him that. But he teaches young people about art. So I don't know what the fuck he wants me to call him. So that's been amazing and realizing that we're like quite similar, like we share a lot. Like if you, when you meet him, you'll freak out, Mabel. Really? It's like, oh, right. It him, you'll freak out, Mabel. Really? It's like, oh right, it's like Makita in a like, ginger wig. Weird. I wish so similar. Because of Andy Oliver, you just think, sure.

Yeah, yeah, sure, sure. Had baby, they are the same. No, there's this guy in Scotland, in Edinburgh, who is me. That's so funny. So yeah, that's been beautiful. But I always wonder whether music was you and Kam's thing. I don't know. That was just like around because literally everyone around me does music. Our thing has always been like books and movies. Like even over Christmas it was like, okay, we watch all three Godfathers.

Did you? Yeah. That's like, we always do that. And then like around this time of year, we always watch three Godfathers. Did you? Yeah. That's like, we always do that. And then like, around this time of year, we always watch Legends of the Fall. That's Nana's film though, isn't it? I love that film. Dad loves that film as well though. It's so funny. What were we doing?

Last night, I was like a little bit anxious. We put on The Sopranos, season one, episode one. We watched Bad Sisters together. Did you like it? Loved, loved. So good. It's very us. It's very you, me, name, Tyson, Phoebe.

It's like, who would we be killing is the only question. Yeah, it's very, it's very that. I think kind of. Same. Okay. Let's have another question for, how did Mabel say it? Yeah, listen, bitch. Listen, bitch.

Listen bitch. Hey guys, my name's John. I'm 35 from Hartford. So my question about fathers is, what's something that you've learned about your father since growing up and how has that changed your perspective of him? Love the podcast, it's so funny, so insightful.

So yeah, keep doing what you're doing. Keep making the world of podcasts a better place. And thank you. Thanks, bye. That's so nice, John. Thanks, John. We will keep making the world of podcasts a better place. Mabel, let's start with you.

That interesting man man Cameron. I think it took me a long time to realise how sensitive he is. He's that tower of strength for so many people and so many people lean on him, me included. But that, yeah, he is very sensitive and very like, you know, also just growing up and realizing like that your parents are just human is the wildest thing. I kind of hate it. My god. It's kind of awful. And you're like, who's driving the ship? You don't know what you're doing. I don't know what I'm doing. If you don't know how to steer this, then where the

fuck are we going? Where the fuck are we going? But actually, you know what, I realized that when Mama Jean died, when Cam's mom died. Same. Oh God, I was like, you're a little boy again. Just a little boy again. And just like there's so many things, like, you know, we talk all the time about like, the way that people talk to me and like using a certain tone because again, dad can be like not the most delicate with wording things. And it's something that I've watched him work on loads, the more I've understood

about my mental health. But I realized that actually he gets it too. People think that he's just so strong and whatever, that actually people talk to him in a certain type of way that I realized like, it does upset him. Oh no, don't. And like, I can't, it literally makes me cry. Thinking about like, anyone hurting his feelings literally kills me. But that like, it's possible. It sounds so stupid, but like, growing up, I just, I never thought that like, I would see him cry.

No way. Also, when you read the book, read your mum's book, and obviously, obviously, I love the way she talks about your dad. She fancies him so much. I know, it's so gross. It's disgusting. It's absolutely barterous. I didn't want him to tell me. Thank God he was wearing his shades because I didn't have to look in those blue eyes. I was like, oh my God, Nana. Gross. Disgusting.

No, but there's so much lust. Can I talk to you about this? What, my parents potentially having sex? No. Disgusting. I don't mean that. I don't mean that. I mean, they have a lustful relationship. They do. It's gross. In a way that a lot of... It's not's not gross is what you best be asking for you best want to sleep with Priya. No it's true it's amazing that like they still kiss all the time. Totally they're snoggers but also I said to Nana how the fuck have you been married for this is ten years ago 25 years and she said I've

always been very attracted to him yeah and I don't think she meant that's the most important thing but what a thing right to always be. Yeah. And I don't think Schmidt, that's the most important thing. But what a thing, right? To always be. Yeah, because I'm just like, I'm so sorry, but like, being with somebody is so, it's so hard. So if I don't want to, sorry, I keep thinking about my, be intimate with you. Oh, God. No, it's disgusting. Then like, what's the point? Like, I might as well just like live like with a hundred cats and like my weird friend. Do you know what I mean? Like, I'm just like, what? Because we're going to bicker anyway.

Do you know what I mean? If you're just going to get on my last nerve every day, which literally is what like being in a long-term relationship is, then like, why? If I don't fancy you. I'm so sorry. Yeah, got it. Don't even think that answers the question. But anyway. Oh yeah, what was the question? What was the question? Do you think about your parents having sex? I don't think so. But anyway. Let's have a bloody another question. We really will try our best to answer it.

Hi, Lillian Makita. My name is Emily. I'm originally from Oxford in the UK, but I'm currently living in Christchurch in New Zealand. I'm traveling around the world with my husband on our very, very late honeymoon. We've been married two years now. But yes, love the podcast. I listen to Miss Me all the time. It has kept me sane and quenched my homesickness for when I want to think about my best friend or anything like that. So fathers, I have a question about fathers for you both. Generally speaking, I have an okay working relationship with my father. But something I've noticed as I've sort of getting later into my 30s is how we do often give fathers a little bit more slack in the parenting area than we do with mothers.

And I just wanted you, I wanted your opinions on why you think that is. So I find often of the time I still speak to my father and we have a very good relationship in terms of my childhood. However, with my mother, it's much more rocky and I generally had more of an equal parenting partnership with the two of them as well. You know, it wasn't like one of them did more of the work, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So I just find it really interesting that as we get older, we kind of blame our mothers for more stuff than we do our fathers and I would just like your input on to why you think that is. Anyway,

love you guys. Bye. Yeah, because it's their fault. No, I'm joking. Yeah, those bitches. I don't know why I blame my mom for more than both of my fathers. Actually, that incident that I was telling you about with my dad the other day was quite good because I think my mom's been quite patient about my new somewhat godlike love for my dad. And it's a bit like, but where was he when you were at the school parties? Do you know what I mean? It's like, it's all nice and happy now. Like, where was he? And obviously that happens a lot in single parent relationships and maybe

another parent comes back. Um, so I'm, I'm trying to be very conscious of that. Really trying to be conscious of that, of not, um, making him the God and her the devil. Do you think that that's because we're women though? Because if you look at my brother's relationship with my father, do you know what I mean? That's really difficult still.

And maybe that's because they're the boys. Maybe, yeah. He's the boy looking at his father. Yeah. I don't know whether like just like little girls, you just like idolize your dad and then you sort of turn into your mom and you're like, literally I am mom. It's so annoying. Yeah, but like, yeah, yeah. It's so inevitable.

There's an Oscar Wilde quote. I'll have to ask some, could someone get it? Yeah, let's pull that one up. Pull that one up. But actually I wanted to ask you this because you've grown up with siblings. I've only just, like not just, Bella, my sister and Louis, my brother have been in my lives eight and three years respectively, cause I met Bella first. And I love them both so much. But I didn't grow up watching my dad parent them. You have a father who is also father to Marlon, who is his first child and then father to Tysi, your sister. So have you ever seen him, does he like parent

them differently? It's so true. Isn't that also like another quote that like you're a different parent with each kid? Right. Like, I definitely know that like I got the best version of Dad. Yeah, you did. I really did. I really did. I'm very aware of that.

So like, it's easy for me to be like, well, you should just enjoy this man and this person that he's become. But obviously I know that there's like trauma and stuff from maybe, whilst he was still figuring shit out for them. But it is interesting that my brother's relationship to my dad is definitely the hardest. And then I've had quite a difficult time with mum. Although we've never been closer than we are now. to my dad is definitely the hardest. And then I've had quite a difficult time with mum, although we've never been closer than we are now. But that definitely has been difficult. We used to fight a lot.

What, Sweden years? Yeah. Yeah, but there was a lot going on. Even more so reading the book, I was like, whoa. That's quite a lot on little Mabel's shoulders. I understood a lot more about that time, you know, actually, and you and Nana within that. It was really helpful. 100%. Really helpful. We have the Oscar Wilde quote, every woman becomes their mother. That's their tragedy and no man becomes his. That's his tragedy. I don't think that's the quote.

I don't like that. I would like to change it to Mr. Wilde, please. That's not what I meant at all, Oscar. We're going to take a little break, not to piss off everyone in, well, all around the world, but I'm going to go lay in the Kenyan sunshine. Sorry, babes. Hey. I'm Nicola Cochlan and for BBC Radio 4 this is History's Youngest Heroes. Rebellion, Risk, and the Radical Power of Youth. She thought, right, I'll just do it. She thought about others rather than herself. Twelve stories of extraordinary young people from across history.

There's a real sense of urgency in them. That resistance has to be mounted, it has to be mounted now. Follow History's Youngest Heroes wherever you get your podcasts. I bring the grace of God back to the episode. Welcome back to the episode. Welcome back to Listen Bitch. Let's have another question about fathers. Fathers, well this is an interesting one. So I'm Sam from the north of England and yeah fathers, well my dad he was in the army until he was in his early 40s and then I was born when he was 44

which means now he's a 70 year old man. So it complicated, you know, and he moved away when I was eight years old, two different country and spent all my inheritance. So yeah, without getting too personal, it's a bit of a weird one. So my question about fathers is what makes a good father? Thanks guys.

Keep up the good work. Of what makes a good father? Well guys. Keep up the good work. What makes a good father? Well, you're going to marry someone and imagine you're going to breed. What do you want? That's disgusting. Yeah. What do you think? I mean, I mean, on paper and in life, it just seems like Pre-A will be a fantastic father. He will be. But what would you want? What would that mean to you, him being a good dad?

That is like when I felt like crazy, I was already crazy in love with him and then I started thinking about him being a parent and I just was like, oh my, like I am obsessed with you. He started helping Flynn, my nephew, name a son, with his maths homework. This was quite early on in our relationship and Flynn had really been struggling. And I realized it was patience that made me just love him so much more and to just like become so obsessed with the idea of our future children. Just like watching him explaining things to Flynn and then Flynn still wouldn't get it and Flynn would get quite frustrated and Priya would wait and think in his head, okay, how can

I explain this in a way that's going to work for Flynn? And he would do it if it took an hour to do one problem. That's what they would do. But he would figure out a way to explain the problem to Flynn in a way that made sense to Flynn with just so much patience. And I just was like, wow. Let's get married. Let's get married and breed. Get me a ring, Brie. Literally.

I think that's what Garforth has, for sure. Wow, yeah, he really does. As he raised us all, he really has patience. And I'm just thinking about the fathers of my, the people that my friends have picked to have babies with. And there are the ones I see with patience and the ones I see without. And I think it really is a huge, a huge virtue in a father. Yeah. Patience with also just the, everything in life is quite difficult. It's like, how do you react to that? And I feel like Prié is someone that takes a minute to think about how he reacts to things.

He doesn't like have immediate knee jerk reactions. No, he thinks about everything. And then whereas I'm just like, ah, headless chicken. Me too. I'm freaking out. And he's just like, okay, what are the things here that like, what's actually going on? Let's like break it all down. Okay, here's how we solve that.

Here's how I'm just like, great. Oh my God, the whole country is going to fall in love with Freya after this episode. I do love, he is great. He's also really handsome. He's also really handsome. He's also so handsome. And also I love the way he's like got his own shit going on. He's really focused. He's so busy. He doesn't really have a brother. No, he only has a sister. Her sister. Yeah. Me and Neymar were like, where are our brilliant boyfriends? How come Tyson and Mabel have sorted out so nicely? And then we went, ah, they're both with African men.

Yeah, literally. I was just going to say, that's it. We're going to have to go for like, Priya's sister's wedding. You'll have to come. Oh my God. Which one? The one in Rome or the one in Nigeria? You have to come to the one in Nigeria. Yes, okay. Okay? Okay, how come husband hunting? Yeah, that's literally what all my friends are doing. They're all like, just on a journey

right now to be their best selves in December. For the wedding. For the wedding, so that they can meet men. But you are meant to meet men at a wedding, right? That's like standard. That's like tradition. That's like a thing. That's actually where TK Puriya's sister met her husband to be, at a wedding in Nigeria. Say no more. Done. Literally.

Maybellina, will you ask for the penultimate question? And if you could use that word, please. Maybellina, please have our penultimate question. Use that word, please. Maybe please have our penultimate question. Hi, Nelly. I'm Makeda. It's V from Manchester. I've got a little gig rather than me sounding like a smoke.

60 B&H a day, which if you do, good for you. I love your podcast. And I thought it's about time that I sent you a little voice note. Fathers, so my daughter has a somewhat, well I can see the makings of an estranged relationship with her father who can be quite toxic and not always very constant. We're not together and I can see already that she's starting to ask questions and almost molding herself to be a bit of a people pleaser with her father.

And I wondered whether you had any advice or tips because as I said to him one day, I will not allow her self-worth to be damaged by somebody like you. So I wonder if you had any tips on how to navigate building up a child's self worth when you know the other parent is going to be inconsistent and could take a toll on their makeup, character, self esteem. So yeah, keep doing what you're doing. Lily, enjoy the break. Do you ignore the haters? Ciao ciao. I mean, great question. Literally one of the reasons I haven't had a kid. The amount of

fucking assholes I could have babies with now. I would just be so pissed off that I did it with them. So I can't imagine what it's like to have a kid with someone that you really start to feel those kind of feelings about. I'm sure it happens all the time. It's just part of life. But I just, I think it would feel very scary and I'd be really stuck. And that's how, you know, the plot of Bad Sisters happens. That's what would have happened.

You would have ended up having a kid with some asshole and then we would have all had to kill him. Literally, it's the only logical... Sorry, sorry. when I was 24. I mean, I could, I would have a 16 year old child with that guy. Fucking hell. And yeah, we would have all had to kind of group together. Maybe that's our advice. And kill him. No, no, no. No! What would you do, Mabe? I mean, I feel like it's so difficult because obviously I can only imagine watching your child go through that, but I think the problem is as a mother getting involved in that is that you kind of end up being the problem.

Oh, right, as the other parent. Do you know what I mean? And getting in between the relationship and sort of, like, I always really respect that rule, like parents that aren't together, that like no matter what is going on, you never talk bad about the other parent in front of the kids.

You kind of have to let the kid and the child will inevitably kind of probably see the things that you're already seeing. Yeah, you kind of have to take the way you feel about the person out of the equation. Yeah. God, that's fucking hard, I imagine. I think I'd be useless at that because I choose violence literally every day for every single problem that I have.

But I can imagine that I always really respect people that just are like, no, no, we can't have this conversation now because the... Yes. And I'm like, fuck that. Do you know what I mean? You're like, no, no, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah, fuck that guy. But you know, we have people in our family

that are breaking up from really long-term relationships at the moment, and it is a whole thing where it's like, okay, right, this is still the kid's parent. Yeah, of course. How was this, how are we gonna navigate that to show that we respect their parent and that we still have love for that person, but things are different and there is a different kind of makeup to everything now.

And I think it is just like letting the relationship between the child and parent just do whatever it needs to do and to let things happen in their own way because you kind of have to trust as well that your kid's going to make the decision for themselves. Yeah, they're only young. I think you have to surrender, let them grow into it a bit and take their own path with it. Let's have the final question on this very interesting episode of Listen Bitch when we've been talking about daddies. Hi, Lily Meketa. It's Min from Bristol. Happy Sunday. Love the podcast. Hope you guys are

having a good one. I'm just cooking a roast and chilling with my boys. I've always had a really tumultuous relationship with my dad. He left when I was three and a lot of my family used to bash him and say nasty things about him and I would be really overprotective and stick up for him but the crux of it is that he has been a bit of a shit dad, hasn't been present and isn't a great granddad to my children either. So my question is, do you ever get to a place where you look at your parents and just accept what they were and who they were, let go of all the baggage and learn how to not give a fuck because sometimes it really still makes me angry. And the other half of me constantly wants to please him and have affirmation from him.

And that really irks my siblings and it irks me too a little bit. So yeah, do you ever get to a stage with your parents where you just let go of how shit they were and move on? Or do you keep trying? Thanks. Love you guys so much. Have a good one. You know what? This makes me think about this time. Did you see that Stormzy interview with Louis Theroux? I did, yeah. Loved it. Loved. Absolute brilliant television.

Big up Big Mike. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And Stormzy said something really interesting. Louis Theroux brought up this old song that he'd written about his dad, who is, you know, sort of essentially has been a very absent father his whole life, who then came back asking for some money or maybe a car when Stormzy became a big star. And he was all angry within this song that he'd written on a previous album. Louis then recites the lyrics back to him and Stormzy's like, fucking hell yeah, that's angry.

And he's like, you know what? I couldn't sing it like that anymore. Cause I'm just not angry like that anymore. And acceptance is what had got into that. No, not just acceptance actually. It was even more interesting. He said, what I realized is he's a flawed man. And I think he just hurt Maya Jammer for like the first time. And was like, and so am I. And I've asked for forgiveness. It's like the forgiveness I've asked for from Maya. So if I'm a flawed person and I've asked for forgiveness and I expect forgiveness,

then why can't I do that? It's harder with a parent that you feel left and not giving you what you need. But I think, I think I don't see my dad, again, I'm talking about Robin, I love him so much and I don't, I genuinely am not angry with him. I just see him as a kid. He was 24 or 25 and my mom was 19 when she actually got pregnant. Actually, sorry, I think my dad was 23. And let's be honest, it was a one night stand in a park. He wasn't ready and he did say, I don't think I'm ready for a child. My mom was like, cool, I'm doing it my own.

And then there was inconsistency, et cetera. And then my mom was just like, enough, you're gone. And then he went, I don't think this makes him a bad person or a bad dad. I think this makes him a young man who made decisions. And that just, in a way, makes me love him more. There's nothing to hate there, really. No, I don't know. I think acceptance, forgiveness, all of those other emotions, like acceptance, forgiveness, like all of those other emotions like hate and disappointment. They actually only really take up space in your life. Well we love dads. I just want to say I love my dad. Shout out to all the dads worldwide.

All of them. The moms that are being dads as well as moms. Correct. All of the daddy-oles in this town. And the zaddies. What's a zaddy? A zaddy. Like a, almost like a sugar daddy. You could be like, oh, I want a zaddy. Oh god. Only you. That's what I'm going to get you in Nigeria.

A zaddy. A Nigerian zaddy. No, no, no. I hate men having more money than me and thinking that they can control me with it. I'm joking. I hate it as well. It's dreadful. You cannot control me.

Let's end this listen bitch with female independence. Exactly. You cannot control me. You will never control me. I love my daddy. I love my daddy. Next week, my lovely, jubbly other cousin will be Jordan Stevens the polymath the Auteur the genius boy the great man Jordan Stevens will be joining us for miss me and the theme will be

Cheating yeah, you heard me Cheating doesn't have to be in a romantic sense, but it could be. But it could be cheating on a test. It could be cheating yourself. Could you please make sure you address the question to Makeda and Jordan? We don't want the person who's with us for the week feeling like you're talking to Lily. It's very sweet. All the love being sent to Lil. But if you could say, this question's for Makeda and Jordan, that would be lovely. That'd be nice for Jordan.

Make him feel at home in Miss Me Towers. The number to call is 0800 30 40 90 0800 30 40 90. All right, Mabel, I'm going to go back to Kenya and soak up this last bit of sunshine because I hear it's disgusting over there. Sunbathe for me because it's gross. You going to hang out with the baby now? I'm going to hang out with the baby. I'm actually going to get my nails done. You know, I like a nail. I don't know how you do it.

I don't know how you wipe your bum. I'll tell you. It's actually, it's a process. It's like a real, it's like a thing. It's a flat palm, a specific fold. I'll get into it with you one day. I knew it had to be. Yeah, I know it is.

All right. I love you. I'll see you next week when I'm back. Love you. I'll see you next week when I'm back. Love you. Bye. Thanks for listening to Miss Me with Lily Allen and Miquita Oliver. This is a Persephoneka production for BBC Sounds. In the shadows of Glasgow, two crime families rose to power. You're either with the Daniel family or you're with the Lyons family.

There's no in-between. A brutal war for control of Glasgow's lucrative drug trade that still rages today. Police think it's the work of a criminal gang. Join me, Livy Haydock, as I investigate the battle that shattered the old school rules of crime. They just slashed, firebombed, terrorizing people, whatever they meant. It's almost off biblical scales. Gangster, the story of the Daniels and the Lions. Listen on BBC Sounds.

Hi, Kush Jumbo here. My podcast Origins is where the biggest names in entertainment tell me the stories that made them who they are today. This week on Origins is KSI. I did boxing as a joke, if that makes sense. So- No, continue. Did you and Tommy Fury become friends? No. No. I would be sweating if I was sitting next to another woman. I didn't know how to talk to females. Listen to Origins with Kuss Jumbo wherever you get your podcasts.