Miss Me? - Listen Bitch! Rerun The Fun

Episode Date: May 26, 2025

Lily Allen and Miquita Oliver answer your questions about fun.Next week, we want to hear your questions about TEENAGERS. Please send us a voice note on WhatsApp: [phone]. Or, if you like, send us an email: [e-mail] also want YOUR suggestions for Listen Bitch themes. Send these as a voice note on WhatsApp: [phone]. Or, if you like, send us an email: [e-mail] episode contains very strong language and adult themes. Credits: Producer: Flossie Barratt Technical Producer: Will Gibson Smith Assistant Producer: Caillin McDaid Production Coordinator: Hannah Bennett Executive Producers: Dino Sofos and Ellie Clifford Assistant Commissioner for BBC: Lorraine Okuefuna Commissioning Editor for BBC: Dylan Haskins Miss Me? is a Persephonica production for BBC Sounds

BBC Sounds music radio podcasts. This episode of Miss Me contains very strong language, adult themes and a lot of fun. F-U-N! Hello and welcome to Listen Bitch. Today we will be talking about fun. All the fun we've managed to do. How many episodes of Listen Bitch have we done? If we've done like 120 episodes, so like 60 Listen Bitches. And I'd say this is the first time I'm a little worried about the theme. The first time?

Wow, okay. That's good going. Yeah, usually I'm like, I'm like periods. Okay, cool, I think I know where we're going, but here, who knows? You know, fun, the destination that you'll never arrive at if you're trying to get there. More gems like that coming up.

Let's hop our first question. Hi Lily and Makita. It's Abbie here. I'm a primary school teacher from Bristol. On the topic of fun, I am one of those people who loves organized fun. So anything like a board game or an escape room or little parlor games or a quiz is right up my street. But because I'm one of those people I notice when people really, really don't enjoy organized fun. So I just wanted to know,

do you enjoy a bit of organized fun or not? Thanks. My mom says that I'm an organized fun like general. Acts like I'm head of an army. I don't think that's very fun the army energy. The general. But I don't think I I don't think I'm indulging it unless it's a quiz and then I'm like all right let's write questions and I'll be quiz master. So yeah, I do get kind of- I'm quite into a board game, especially on holiday.

And also we play the murder game when we're on holidays, a family, which is always a fun one. I love a board game, love the murder game. I've been to a couple of games nights here in New York recently, because I'm trying to like, you know, make more friends out here. And find fun right find some new unexpected places games night yeah games night and I've been been to two people like complete

strangers houses and played this game Mafia that people like to play here which is you know you get like a group of like 20 people and then three people are made the Maf mafia and they can kill the townspeople and you have to close your eyes every night to go to sleep and then when you wake up someone else has been killed anyway it's like it's quite fun. Is everyone strangers when you went to that thing? No not everyone's strangers but I just you know Lily no mates. Lily that's quite scary social situation to walk into. Good episode title. Lily, no mates.

No, I'm not doing that. That's untrue and unfair. I used to carry ball games around with me. It's a really weird time. Me and Phoebe got really into bringing ball games to nights where everyone wanted to get pissed. To squat parties. I remember carrying Articula around, not to squat parties.

Definitely to house parties and people were like, no, no, I'm remember carrying Articulate around, not to squat parties. Definitely to house parties and people were like, no, no, I'm not playing Articulate. Board games are big in my life, yeah, I'm good at them. Yeah, organized fun. Yeah, I mean, the idea of it makes me feel a little bit sick, but actually the reality of it is I quite enjoy it. I love an escape room.

Me and the girls love escape rooms. Yeah, you went to one. I go to them all the time. And when I was in doing The Pillow Man, me and Steve Pemberton and Matthew Tennyson, who played my brother, we would all go to an escape room every week while we were doing the theatre run. So I think like before, you know, on a Thursday or something, before the show, we'd meet up at like three o'clock in the afternoon and go into an escape room in town.

Really fun. And what happens? What do you have to do? You just have to get, you have to get out of the room within an hour. And there's like, you know, several different types of puzzles that you have to complete in order to like get you onto the next bit.

And then there's like, might be like- Like Crystal Maze. A little bit, yeah. A little bit. But there'll be like different themes. There'll be like, you know, like a laboratory one or Game of Thrones or something like Game of Thrones because obviously they're not licensed to, you know, sell Game of Thrones. Anyway, there are lots of different ones like you'd do Subway ones. Some of them are the production design and the production like

Level of that is is good. Yeah, I would hope so because the reason crystal maze was good is because it was so Kind of well built and aesthetically looked so great. They would remember those like all these different like worlds Someone like desities some were like I see and I just used to feel so sorry for the people when they got stuck in The room and then you think it's like the last minute, it's like get out, get out, get out, get out. So in an escape room I suppose you do get locked in if you don't do it well, if you don't get through the round.

Correct. And then you have to sit on your own. Sorry? So in an escape room, does everyone have to get locked in when you don't do well or do you get to go through to the next round in the person? No, no, no, you just don't get through to the next bit until the puzzle is solved. Until the puzzle is solved.

So no one gets like, you know, yeah, outcast. It's not like that. It might be in some versions. I think we should do the crystal maze actually. They have that now. I've done it. It's not very good in London. Of course you've done it. So they even have the bit with the like gold and silver leaf coming down. You have to push it into the, I always felt like I would have done so excellently and they never did that well on that one. It's harder than you would think.

Yeah, it was quite fun, Crystal Maids. It wasn't, the production value was not great, I didn't think. No, I wouldn't imagine so. Let's have another question. Hey, Lily, hey, Makita. I am a big fan of the show. My name's Rachel.

I'm actually originally from Middlesbrough, but now I live in Manchester. I've got a question for you about fun. How much fun do you actually think that you can have in adult life? Like, when in reality, we've all got loads of responsibilities, basically like no free time, and 10,000 things we all have

to do at any one time. Is there actually any room for fun? Thank you. Bye. Well, Simon Amstel, a very wise man, Buddha, said to me about happiness. He said, what we're taught by all the greatest thinkers is that happiness is right here. And if you can just find it right here, then you're not gonna be, you don't go looking for it. I suppose it's about being present. And I think with fun, I can very easily like hate most of my days,

but cause I'm like it's too much pressure, too much work. But actually if I just sort of like, it doesn't take much, if I just shift the perspective and decide to have fun, I usually have a much better day and that makes a better week and then a better life. So I think it's about choosing decide to have fun. I usually have a much better day and that makes a better week and then a better life. So I think it's about choosing where to have fun. Yeah, we've always got a million things to do,

but like, why can't they be made enjoyable? And sometimes fun is in unexpected places. If you have fun doing something that you wouldn't really think is fun, that's actually quite rewarding rather than like, let's go ice skating, cause that will be fun. It's like, maybe your tax return could be fun. Maybe, maybe your tax return could be fun. Maybe. Maybe.

There are, you know, certain things in my day that, you know, I think of as sort of being chores, like, you know, cleaning the house, getting up and making breakfast for the kids, taking the dog for a walk. I find them all to be things that I put in the chore category. But with a little reframe, I actually do get quite a lot of joy out of all of those I find them all to be things that I put in the chore category, but with a little reframe, I actually do get quite a lot of joy out of all of those things. Definitely. It's actually been on my gratitude list. It is a nice thing to do, to go and take the dog for a run and see him having fun with the other dogs.

And it gives me a little bit, you know, 45 minutes fresh air before the start of my day. And yeah. The big reframe, I think is really important when you're trying to figure out like where to like slot in fun in your life. Because then otherwise you're living for the weekend and you're living for holidays and it's like, no, fun is right here. I'm having fun right now, Lily. And we're at work. Are you? Woo! I love this one, bitch. Let's have another question in this fun, filled, themed episode of Miss Me called Listen Bitch.

Hi, Lillian Makita. It's Charlie here. I'm currently in Bristol, but I'm originally from the Midlands. I've recently become self-employed. I've started my own granola business after working as a probation officer for 10 years. But one of the things I'm doing on the side is cleaning and I always listen to your pod when I'm cleaning. It gets me through and I just love it. But my question today about fun is I have recently gone sober at six weeks tomorrow. So kind of one for you, really, Lily. What sort of things do you now do for fun? How do you get your kicks? Any inspo would be really gratefully received. Thank you so much.

What a journey. That lady's been on probation officer to granola maker. I know. Good for you. Pretty crazy and cleaner. Hi, nanny. For anyone wondering what's currently going on, Makita's grandmother is walking at quite a slow pace from one side of the room to the other. Nanny. Oh, and she's back.

She's now walking from said side of the room to the door. We did discuss that I would be recording something for two hours, but she doesn't care. I've been having fun with Nanny, actually, but let's do your sober tips first. Let's go. How do you get your kicks, Phil? My sober living tips? I don't know. I don't really know what... I mean, I guess spending time with the kids when they'll fucking let me, they're now at a stage where they just don't want to hang out. It's really sad. They just want to be with their friends. Ethel went to Coney Island on the weekend, I was like, can I come?

It's for like an hour and a bit away. And she was like, no, you definitely can't. Hi Nanny, again. Oh my God, Lil, are we there? Right, okay. Yeah, and then Marnie was like, I wanna go and have a sleepover at her friend's and I was like sat there on a Saturday afternoon,

like great, both my kids have gone and I've got nothing to do. Phoebe had that this week as well. You know what you guys are at. You guys are just, you both had babies pretty similar ages and she's a bit empty-nesty at the moment. She's in her flat and she keeps calling me on Saturday afternoon like,

what's wrong? She's like, I just kind of don't know what to do with myself. I think it's just a little bit of like new space for both of you in your lives. Yeah. It's quite strange. It's very strange.

I know what you like to do, Lilly. You fucking love, A, being called culture vulture, and B, going to the theater. I actually cannot believe how often you go. Yeah, I love going to the theater. I like going out to restaurants with my friends. I have like, I've been bowling recently.

I like an escape room. You know, I'll go get out there and do different fun things. Yeah, theater, art stuff, maybe a bit of sports if given the opportunity. Do you know what I've been thinking? What? I think that I don't think I like, I don't think I find drinking as fun as I used to find it.

And it's like very hard to kind of let go of the idea that this is where your fun is. You've always had fun here, but the idea of going out to get pissed now, like at the pub for like a number of hours just feels exhausting and a little bit time-waste-y. And I don't, that's quite, that's quite a shift for me to just not assign FUN to that kind of activity.

You know, obviously I don't party anymore. I don't like go out and get wrecked, but I've always been like, oh, I love a drink, especially in the sunshine. But these days I'm like. Well, it's funny you say that because there are certain things that like, for instance, going to see live music, I don't find fun without alcohol.

Can't get into the swing of it. Yeah. And I don't know if that's just because I have like a direct comparison to it. Like that's something that I really associate with, you know, going to gigs or going to raves or whatever is that you would get drunk and high. And so I always feel like situations or activities where I know that they are more fun when you are inebriated, I'm a bit like, oh, God, really? I have to be. Well, actually on stage though now, like the stuff that you did with Olivia at Glastonbury, or was it Wembley? Both, wasn't it?

No, it was Glastonbury and the O2. And the O2. And I felt like that's quite a shift for you to be on stage and be completely sober. And you were in your element. I thought you were brilliant and you seemed like you had fun. I did. You know you've got a dog in your room. Nancy! That's my Auntie Amanda's dog. She's staying for a while. Because why not?

Throw another dog and burst in this house. All right, let's get another question so I can finally tell everyone the etymology of the word fun. No. Yes. No. Yes. No.

Oh, you better believe it. Get ready. Can't wait. Hi, Makita. Hi, Lily. This is Jordan from Surrey. I can't believe it. Get ready. Can't wait. Hi, Makita. Hi, Lily. This is Jordan from Surrey. My question to you both is what is your ideal weekend of fun?

Fun to everybody means different things from laying in bed, procrastinating, to going out partying and being high over a weekend. So yeah, I thought I'd put the question to you. What does a weekend of fun look like to both of you? And how do you know? How do you measure that you've had fun? Before you answer this question, Lily-Allen, I just want to say that ancient Chinese thinkers have said that fun is actually not the point. What we're looking for is spontaneity. The early Chinese word for this state of like complete and utter spontaneity, giving you adrenaline and making you feel really like

joyous and good is wu wei. Wu wei. So that's what we're actually all looking for, wu wei, which is effortless actions and a loss of sense of yourself as an agent. Effortless actions and a lost sense of yourself as an agent. So it's like relinquishing control and going with the flow, man.

For me, it's a perfect weekend. Spontaneity, supplements, sex, sports. What a weekend. Supplements, as in like taking your supplements? No, as in reading the magazines from the papers, reading the Sunday papers. Oh, okay, interesting, yeah. Yeah, yeah, that sounds great.

Sun, sun, supplements, sports, sex, spontaneity. When you say sex, because you're not having sex with anyone, do you mean wanking? No, I mean like dream weekend, I'd be having sex with anyone. Do you mean wanking? No, I mean like dream weekend I'd be having sex with someone fantastic. Oh, okay. But yes, in a dream weekend you could do alliteration as well. They could all start with the same letter view as well. I like cooking, I like cricket and being a couch potato.

There you go. You're the C's, I'm the S's. We're going to take a little break from all this bloody fun and shenanigans. Because you know, you've got to keep it spontaneous as the Chinese say, if you really want to find fun. So let's have a little break and come woo way. We'll be back to talk more woo way after this very short break. Woo way. We are going to be woo way way after this very short break. Woo way.

We are going to be woo way in our way through the break. Okay. Welcome to the house of fun. Welcome to the house of fun. Welcome back. Welcome to the house of fun. I back. Welcome to the house of fun. I don't know the rest of the words. Me neither.

I don't know the verse. Mm-hmm. What are you asking us question about? I'll have another question, please. Hey, Makeda and Lily. My name's Carly. I'm from the UK, but live in Paris, working for a tech company.

To me, London felt like a go-hard or go-home kind of city. It's fun, but it's really busy. If you're going out, it's becoming really expensive. Then if you're into running, you go really hard in the hackney half, you go to a hen party and it turns out to be a whole holiday. So it can seem like a lot.

Whereas in Paris, it seems everything can be enjoyed in moderation, I would say. Eating out in restaurants here is much more reasonable than in London and instead of binging when you go out drinking is enjoyed at a much slower pace. So I'd say that's the big difference between having fun in London and having fun in Paris. Totally just my take. And so my question for you is I've always enjoyed New York as a tourist or when visiting friends that live there, but for you who spend a lot of time there, what are your fun experiences in New York?

Is it better or worse than London? I have to be really honest. Thanks, Carly. I don't really have fun in New York. I never really have. Really? I find it intimidating and just maybe a little bit

too American for me. And it's not even the most America-y place in America at all. But I'm not a huge New York person. I've never understood the fucking hype of it. I'm Ms. Lavec Grove when I'm in New York, which is pathetic. But you've chosen, I mean, I could never live there.

The fact that you live there, and Anna has lived there for about 15 years, I just can't get my head around it. Hmm. I mean, I'm just a home person. So it doesn't really matter where my house is, as long as I'm, you know, comfy in my house. But you said it's eye-wateringly expensive to do anything in New York right now. So it's probably the same.

And it's so expensive to do anything. Yeah. It's like, you know, 50 quid to get an Uber anywhere, you know, $150 minimum for like, to get like a small grocery shop. Yeah, restaurants like crazy. Everything's just so expensive. It does change our attitudes to being out in the world and how we want to enjoy it. Because in she's in Paris in France, when Phoebe lived in France, they would drink a lot, but they drink a little and often. So I understand that kind of moderated energy, which then seeps out into the way people are having fun. In this country, people are still like, let's go out, let's get pissed, let's get fucked up as soon as possible. I don't want to remember anything.

And then tomorrow let's do it all over again. And then back to the week. I feel like there's a different pursuit in play in England. A little and often. Little and often. Yes, little and often. I think that's a good approach. And it seems to be what the Parisians are doing and they're classy bitches.

Let's have another question for this week's Listen Bitch. We're having F-U-N, Madonna. Hey, two, three, Madonna. Is that what she says? Hi, Lily and Makeda. It's Kayleigh here. I'm with my best friend, Lottie. We both live in Southeast London

and we're actually currently in Turkey on holiday. Yesterday, we had the best day ever. We had so much fun together. We were giddy from the start of the day to the time we got back from our taxi and we just were talking this morning about how much fun we had together. And we just want to know what time you guys can recall having the best day ever together, the most fun? Do you have any particular day that you remember the two of you sharing being like, oh my gosh, that was so fun. Was it outrageous? Was it on a yacht?

Was it just giggling in bed watching films? What was it? Because there's nothing like having the most fun with your best friend. Anyways, love you guys. Thank you so much. Bye. Thanks. I love that question. Me and Lil's best day ever. Feel like there was maybe a couple of days like at Reading Festival that were pretty fun when we were younger. You know, it's just me and you in the car with a couple of backstage passes and, you know, just Yeah, armed with a couple of backstage passes and a couple outfit changes, ready to go.

I think also, we were talking about Daddy and Judy's house when we talked where we used to watch Big Brother. And I don't know, Lily was actually quite depressed and was going through a horrible breakup for a few for a bit of that time. And then when she started coming out of it, that's when we started having real fun around Laburt Grove. And basically, I was that Lester. Yeah. Okay. And we started kind of, you started getting a bit happier and we started getting a bit more of a crew together and you had the car. We did a lot of like Sunny bank holidays, pitch ups. And I just, when we were 20, I just had a really good time. Lily was 19, I was 20.

And I just remember that period of time being very fun. I also remember at the time knowing that we were probably having the time of our lives. You should really feel every moment of it. And I knew I'd remember all that time forever and I really do. But I now have a lot of fun with Lily, obviously here. But we do, before this, before this, miss me like fucking monster. I used to love our FaceTimes.

We used to have such nice FaceTimes and we don't have as many anymore because we do this. But when I get an unexpected FaceTime from Lil now, I'm like, oh, we're not, we're not working. And we'll chat some shit and laugh a bit. And I'm like, that was fun. You make me laugh.

You always have. Oh, I'm a really funny person. She's so funny. Lil, do you want to ask for the last question in this fun house? Can we have the last question? Welcome to the house of fun. Hi, Lilia Makita. It's Liz here from Sunny, not so Sunny Cheshire actually. Love the show, really find it interesting. I've just got a question about when was the last time you were surprised by how much fun you had doing something.

And if you've got any examples of it, you know, perhaps it was something you didn't plan or something that just sort of came out of doing something else, but it was really good fun. Thank you, bye. I got one. I would say learning to find that stuff, like in work stuff has been really fun,

particularly the edit. Lily knows that my favorite pastime is bottle of red wine and an edit. I couldn't believe how much fun I found learning to edit in lockdown on my cousin's name is like broke up old laptop. And I was determined to turn this content thing that I was doing with my mom into this like edited masterpiece. And I wanted to put biggie on it and Mariah Carey at this bit. And I realized how to do that using iMovie.

And then after that, I started working with my cousin, who is an editor on loads of different things. And I just love an edit. It is like, it's like being God. You are God. And all these magical things happen, which is like, you'll have a piece of music and you'll have like a three minute piece of film and you'll be like, just whack it on and see what happens.

And like nine times out of 10, it just magically hits every point. I feel like magic is felt in an edit all the time, probably like in the studio when you're making music and you're like, oh shit, that sounds brilliant. We did it, we're on. I love that feeling of like discovery and curiosity, learning a new skill with just 10 to 15% space left for magic.

That's like fucking, that's like my dream. I'm actually getting goosebumps talking about it. Oh, I love that for you. Yeah, new skills. Oh my God, I haven't developed any new skills. Like your wood cutting class that you're doing. I'm not doing wood cutting, but I did do glass blowing thing with Aaron. There you go.

Not long ago. That was really fun. Okay. He's got some really funny pictures of me like doing this. I do think that these things, these things are maybe our 40s, maybe this is our route to new fun. Like, yeah, learning new things. Learning new skills. Just that's quite an umbrella. Learning new skills. I think that's really, it's really nice to surprise yourself and to push yourself and be a bit scared.

Yeah, I have to say, when I've signed on to do 222, that first play that I did, I don't know, I don't know. I kind of like signed onto it because it seemed so scary and I'm attracted to danger and fear in that way. But I was not anticipating having as much fun on it as I did. And you know, forming such close bonds with the people that were on it. Yeah, good gang, good crew. Yeah, it was really a blast, you know.

I find that I'm the best, the most fun when I'm working, actually. Yeah, that's what I mean by I'm not sure how much fun I have at the pub anymore. I think I'd rather have a good meeting. God, I sound like such a boring bitch. Who wants to hang out with me this summer? On Google, what's it, Google? Google Meet, where I get my kicks. So, my Makita's having fun now on a Thursday afternoon. No, I'll be playing, I'll be playing,

I'm actually going to be playing sports all throughout the summer. I'm very excited. And particularly, I'm going to start playing paddle with Will. Oh, no, Will. Just down the road, he goes there already. And I'm like, that to me is fun. I also want to go to the golf driving range thing in South London and I'm playing tennis squash and badminton as much as I can so that that to me sounds like a fucking good summer. I would join you but I've got a dodgy rotator cuff and also I'm in America. Okay okay there's two quite valid reasons you're back soon for header like do a little little head to head before you go off to header. Head to header.

Yeah, exactly. I should have mentioned my label maker, we also have a good time. And I think that concludes this week's episode of Listen Bitch. It was a fun house. Pat Sharp wasn't here, but we had a good time. I had a good time.

We did. But we're gonna have an even better time because we're gonna throw in something new for Listen Bitch for the summer, aren't we, love? Are we? We're relinquishing control, being spontaneous. That's what we're doing. Okay.

World, I'm talking to you. So that we can really share this summer all together, we are asking you to give us Listen Bitch themes. I always get so many nice DMs about different themes. I'm like, oh, should we use that one? And I was like, let's give these people a voice. Let's give these people a platform. So we'd like separate messages. This is not your question for Listen Bitch. This is your theme for Listen Bitch. Same number though. 08000 304090 08000 304090. What do you want to discuss with us this summer of 2025? Okay.

I think it could be quite exciting. One other thing I'd like to ask, I really want to know where people are listening. I know sometimes they tell us, but I didn't have a title yet and now I do. Where do you listen to listen bitch? I was gonna say, where do you listen bitch? But bitch? I was gonna say, where do you listen, bitch? But I thought that was naff.

I thought that was silly. This I like. Where do you listen to listen, bitch? I really wanna know, like, when you're on your like, school run or when you walk the dogs or washing up while you like paint your ceramics in your pottery class, like just tell me everything about your life and where we slip in

so my Right my topic subject matter for next week is Teenagers Teenagers! Little bitches. We'll see you then to talk about teenagers. Yes and you can send your thoughts or your questions to 08000 30 40 90. That's 08000 30 40 90.

And don't forget, where do you listen to listen, bitch? Remember to give us an answer. See you next week! Bye! Bye, babe! Thanks for listening to Miss Me with Lily Allen and Makita Oliver. This is a Persephoneka production for BBC Sounds. Do you ever feel like you're the only one navigating life's ups and downs?

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