Miss Me? - Listen Bitch! Rizzle-elagwan

Episode Date: May 18, 2026

Miquita Oliver and Jordan Stephens answer your questions about languages.Next week, we want to hear your questions about CARS. Please send us a voice note on WhatsApp: [phone]. Or, if you like, send us an email: [e-mail] episode contains very strong language and adult themes. Credits: Producer: Natalie Jamieson Technical Producer: Oliver Geraghty Assistant Producer: Caillin McDaid Production Coordinator: Rose Wilcox Executive Producer: Dino Sofos Commissioning Producer for BBC: Jake Williams Commissioners: Dylan Haskins & Lorraine Okuefuna Miss Me? is a Persephonica production for BBC Sounds

This episode of Miss Me contains very adult themes, strong language, as we discuss languages. Welcome to Listen, Bitch. The theme is languages. Languages. I speak one. So do you? Yeah. No, I speak two. You wish. I speak three, actually. I speak body language. Oh my God. The importance of the body language. as said by Ursula in The Little Mermaid. Body baby.

Do you know what though? That's very good because body language is very telling and I've been more aware and observing my own for reasons that we'll go into. Let's have our first question. But body language is no joke, Jordan. Very good. Hello, my name's Jody.

I live in Melbourne, Australia. And I am a sign language interpreter. So the topic of languages very, very much interests me. I'm a naughty accredited interpreter, so it's an association of trained interpreters, mostly spoken language. And so even when you think of language, I guess, it's spoken language, and where this very interesting little subset of that being a signed language. So Oslan is the name of Australian Sign Language.

comes from BSL, British Sign Language, so quite similar, but its own language. I wondered if either of you have any experience with Sign Language. I've grown up with deaf parents, so it's technically my first language, and have been immersed in that language and culture my whole life. Yeah, just wondered if you had any experiences. Love you guys, love the show. Thank you. Bye. Thanks, darling.

Nice to know we're still heavy hits out in Australia. I've got to keep that. I like that big Australian audience. Let's keep them happy. Yeah. Love hearing that you say sign language is your first language. I have very little experience with sign language. I don't understand it.

I don't know how to do it. I found it somewhat confusing because there is this astrologer that I love called Chris Korsini. And he speaks in sign language as he explains everything as he speaks English as well. Sometimes I'm like, sometimes he's spelling out words with. letters in said sign language, but sometimes he just says a word that seems to be one hand movement. So that's what I find confusing about sign language, that there are, sometimes things are spelled out and sometimes the word is just... Yeah, I mean, I had a moment where I thought, oh my God, if I learn sign language, then I will be able to communicate with anyone who understands

sign language in the entire world. I was like, this is, how have we not clocked that sign language is the great democratiser of all communication. And then I googled it and was like, oh, actually everybody, every different nation has a different form of sign language. So that's... See, I didn't know that. Fuck.

That's why she said in it that is similar to BSL, but not quite. Yes, which is British sign language. Yeah. I really thought I'd nailed it, bro. I really thought that the body and the actions, you know, we just have very... Not only do we have different words, we have different colloquialisms,

we have different ways in which we use words and phrases. So, and I'm sure, yeah, they've got like an alphabet. bet and it's really impressive. Obviously, shout out Ryan Cougler. I remember he signed something, didn't he, when he won his Oscar, which was really cool. I can remember the story, but I was just like wholesome as hell.

Wow. His wife's an ASL interpreter. How wholesome is that, man? Because she has some deaf or hard of hearing family members. What a legend. God fucking love him. Oh, yeah. Some music shows will have an interpreter by the side of the stage,

legends. Obviously, I had, like, accessible shows in the play, and that would include someone doing sign language to be accessible. Yeah, I mean, it's a really brilliant and complex skill. Like you say, there are situations, especially if I'm talking, if I'm just free talking. There's no script to learn. You're just kind of like in real time listening to someone babble with ADHD. It's impressive to be able to sign that out.

You're right. Very impressive skill. Impressive. Let's have another question. Hi, Jordan and Makita. This is Hannah in Bucks, but I'm originally from Northwest London. and so I love when you mention like Halsden and Easton. I do know a language in inverted commas fluently, and it's called Pigeon. And it's basically backslang.

And we grew up speaking it in our family. And then I taught some friends and us cousins used to speak it. And we probably used it in quite bitchy ways. We'd like speak it in front of other people, probably saying things we didn't want them to hear. But yeah, I wondered if you guys had anything similar growing up. I'm going to give you an example if I wanted to say, hi, Makita, hi Jordan, I love your podcast. I'd say, Averga, Mvgha, Kavgita, Mvgha, Kavka, Kvgitavka, Avka, Javkka, Javkka, Gavgavkavkavkavkast. It flows quite nicely and if you get to know it well and speak it quite quickly, people really don't know what you're saying.

So yeah, just wondered if you grew up speaking any similar language. Hold on. Is she saying she was calling Avagavh, Pige, Oh, I don't know it. It's Avogav. I know it is Pig Latin. Like, pigeon is actually a language. Pigeon is what people would speak in West Africa or Nigeria as a version of pigeon. Right. Well, it might have transferred as a name for what I know to be Pig Latin, which is like, how to go, do you to go, did a gun, how to go, how to go, how to go, how to go, how to go. So what's Avagov. Avagav. That's what it's called. Yeah, because that's what you're doing. Avagi, avigee, avagu, avigae, you know what I mean? that's the those are the rules.

It's very weird this language because it's very much about syllables. You have to break the word down. Ava-Gar-Vas those are the vowels. Avagar, avagou, avagua, avaget. Well, I think our vowels were different. So the lady asked the question, did you guys use this? We didn't just use it. This is how we

fucking got by. This is how we did everything naughty. What were you guys? Give an example. Okay, like, Wedigatigat, Jira, Muttaguer, Muttagum's, Wadigar, Littigatigat. What? What? When shall I steal your mum's wallet? Oh.

So this is, you're right here, by the way. Pig Latin is. It's a language game used to disguise English words typically by moving the first consonant cluster to the end and adding A. Pig equals Igpe or adding yay to words starting with vowels. Oh, oh. Yeah, Ixenay on the overstay. Yeah, no, that is something different.

Yeah, so I don't know what the fuck me and little were doing then. But it was very goo-goo-goo-goo. what's your name is Atwe Izwe, Ayye, Aminay. Wow, that's actually really trippy that. Should we just start to watch? Should we do a whole listen bitch in Pig Latin? No, me and Harley, this is no word of a like. Me and Harley invented our own 100%.

I can't remember the actual language, but I remember us sitting down and being like, right, we need our own way of communicating and we basically reworked the vowel sounds that would have been in Avagavagav. Well, if anyone was going to do it, be too little fucking upstart lyricists,

wouldn't it? Wait, is that why I'm getting confused because that's the one that me and Harley invented? Which one? A Vagav. No, I mean,

I've never heard of it. So maybe that is what you invented. Hold on, hold on. Let me ring up Holly because this is jokes. This is jokes. Yo.

I... Hi, Q's. Hi, hi, Harley. It's great to hear your voice. You know, so when we were like, younger, we made up our own language, you know?

Yeah. What was the language that we made up? Oh. It was called Rizoleleguan. That was it. But because people,

because I've been talking about Avergav, right? Avagav, Aga, Avaigue, whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but no one knows what Avaigov is. Like, no one in the producers, no one, like, Mekita,

no one's heard of Avergav. They only know pig Latin. It was only in Brighton that we spoke Avergav. I don't, no. Surely not. Surely not. You spoke Rizigliwigs. It was like, it was like, Hizolelo, Mizzolai.

Yeah, that was it. Mzalame, Isololol, Islelo. We took the rules of Avagav and switched the, the vowels, the sounds to be Rizzle kicks inspired, right? Yeah, yeah, Guan and stuff. Juan, Rizel, yeah, Guad. Hiselel Luzigua. Yeah, hiselah. Islello.

But just to confirm, we. We sat down and learned this together, right? Yeah. Can you remember any times when we, like, used it? Or, like, I mean, I met, I'm... We said we were going to, like, use it in interviews and stuff before we realized that people would just be really fucked off us that was like. Okay, fair.

Yeah. Not a good marketing technique at all. Fair, fair, no. All right, sweet. All right, thank you. All right. That's all good, brother. I'll check in a bit. Lots of love.

Oh, God. I've missed Harley. Yeah. I was getting close to Moss, his... His girlfriend and mother of his children. I love Moss. We did some work together. Moss is a legend.

Yeah, shout out Hals. Rizzoleleliguan is so much worse than I thought it was going to be. Rizoleilaguan I think is bloody fantastic. Okay, so there is, listen, there is record of Avagavon online. Urban Dictionary. Yeah, but it's in the Urban Dictionary, which doesn't mean anything. True. All right, let's get that next question again.

Hi, Makita and Jordan. My name's Aisha and I'm from Arma in the north of Ireland. Absolutely love the podcast and love your work. Me and my friend Elaine listened to it religiously. So keep up the good work. My question for you this week on the topic of languages is, is there anything really random that you know in a different language, like from school?

I went to Catholic kind of all-girls school. So I randomly know the French Hail Mary. So yeah, I was just wondering if you might know any phrases or random things that you've picked over the years in a different language. Thanks so much. Love the podcast. Bye. Like sweetie pies

So listen I knew French I could speak French as a teenager I used to have a French teacher up the road literally when I was like 7, 8, 9

I was learning French and then in school when I went secondary school I did fast track French so I took my GCSEs two years early in French did well and I even remember going to

there was like an exchange trip or like maybe Dieppe to something like there was a thing with Dieppe and Brighton and I was just speaking and then I just forgot I don't know if it was drugs or just like excitement.

I don't know, it was fell out my head. But, but I can still remember little bits. For example, I know a song, I know a Christmas song in French. So it's like, Petit Papa Noel, quanto designeur de Saint-re ducelle with de Jouille.

Noble not my boutie deuce de july. Very nice. Actually, really lovely. I don't know what I'm saying, but I just remember the, yeah. So the answer is yes. The answer is yes. Yes, I am bilingual.

I'm not bilingual. I just remember those fucking Christmas songs. No, but you had a moment. Because I had a moment when I lived in Spain. Like when I lived there, I got sent to an English school, but Spanish was a huge part of it, all the teachers were Spanish. But all the other kids were like expat kids.

And so I had a lot of Spanish lessons. And I lived there for a year, so I did start speaking Spanish. What's upsetting about our language is, if it's in there at all, you've got to lock it in. Because it can just fall out of your head. Like the kids, when Phoebe moved back from France, the kids were both fluent. And now they're like, hate French.

And I'm like, no, you need to speak it as much as you can. Like, you've learned another language. I just, there's nothing better than being bilingual. Namer is trilingual. And she speaks both Spanish and Swedish and English. That's so cool. I know. I know.

I really, really regret not sticking with it. And being able to just speak French for a laugh. But I really, I do hate being in other countries and not, I just, if I could have a superpower or like a magical gift bestowed upon me, I would love to be able to land anywhere and speak the native tongue. Can you imagine you just go to Beijing and you're like, go to Sweden? Boom, in.

What is the language you'd love to speak the most? Brazilian Portuguese. I honestly have tried since I was 15 years old. I just don't have the focus. I need an actual teacher because I have family there and I, but I guess actually, in truth, would love to re-engage with French, but then Spanish,

the Spanish seemed to have colonised like many places in the world. Like, Ibiza, Mexico, Costa Rica. These places are dope, man. If I can just rock up to these spots and start speaking Spanish, just like... Well, let's talk about the most spoken languages in the world, right? Okay.

I reckon I can get the top five. Okay. What's number one? Mandarin. Oh, it's second! Okay. Hindi? That would be third.

What? Well, duh. What do you think the first one is? Is it actually British? We're speaking it right now. It is. It's English. Yeah, yeah.

Okay, I thought that was like a, it was a trick, British, Mandarin, Hindi. What do you think would come just after? Can you give me a clue to the next two, are they, are they unexpected? No. Oh, okay. Well, so Spanish. Yeah.

Okay, yeah, because of Latin America. And is the last one, is the last one French or no? Yes. Oh. I'd say this is 2023, so things might have changed. But I got a message, I got so many interesting messages about languages, but one of them was, I'm Scottish. I wish they taught us Gaelic growing up.

And I thought, fuck, yeah. like talk about native tongues still being important in people's lives. Like wouldn't it be amazing if you've got to speak and learn, not just learn the language, but learn about the importance of it and the history of it and the culture of the language. It's such a deep way of connecting to what has been before, right? It was funny because I was, when I was away, I was speaking to this like French couple, a lot that were really cool.

Because I was trying to re-engage with my French, you know, past, I would like a croissant, which wasn't really applicable in Sri Lanka. I think maybe you, my love, are someone that if you're going to learn a language, you need to live there and immerse yourself in it. Because what you want to learn as well is the culture of the language and the vibes of the language and like the colloquialisms and shit. You've got to live it because what I love about living in Britain

is there are so many parts of it that you go to. And there's like a whole different, like all around the world, there will be different sections with totally different colloquialisms. and like slang and because there must be some like Georgie shit you've learned Yeah yeah I've learned to understand it But it is genuinely

Another language Like when Jade's dad speaks Sometimes I'm like I don't I actually don't know What he just said facts Oh fair enough I have to really think for a moment Like what

It's just the speed of it And the intonation It's actually kind of sounds a bit Caribbean And obviously they have things like Canny Howayman come on Oh yeah like a way man Is fucking sounds Caribbean Do I mean?

That is actually crazy War lass or war lad. My girlfriend or boyfriend, war lass, war lad. So it's like mine, our, it's like a term of possession, W-O-R, war. Wow, wow.

God, I really didn't know anything about that. And it's like wild that that's in England, but it's like a whole different. Yeah, but do you know what we, I do want to do accents and stuff as well because like, it's fucking nuts. It's because it's crazy out there.

Okay, let's have a break. In Brazilian Portuguese, por favor. Jogo Bonito? Yeah. I don't know. So cool. Is that, we're going to a break?

It's just the style of football. That's played in Brazil. Okay. Cool. Porha. Poja, poha, poha, pooha, pooha, pooha, pooh. Welcome in Tilbacca. That's for every Swedish listener and also everyone else.

Let's all learn together, shall we? That was welcome back in Swedish. Okay. Let's have another question. Hi, Jordan and Mickey. this is Grace from Manchester. I'm so happy that you're covering languages on ListenBitch this week. I am a polyglot.

I speak five languages, but that is a rarity for a British person, or at least I've found. What do you think about the way we teach languages in the British education system? Because for me, the way we teach languages is the reason that British people don't often speak. speak multiple languages.

I'd love to hear your thoughts. Five languages deep. It's a dream. It is a dream. You're like the coolest person to go anywhere within the world. My dad used to speak Danish because he was dating this Danish woman. He was just able to hear them racially abuse him as he walked past. Fuck.

And then when he would turn around and reply on Danish, they literally looked like the matrix had been broken. Yeah, like a dread, a black man with dread. Yeah, he was a punk. Yeah, black dreaded punk. Speaking your native tongue. That's right. Peak whiteness.

Yeah, yeah. So the polygot lady asked us, what do you think about the way languages are taught? I think a bigger question is also one of the reasons people that speak English don't speak that many other languages is because we are entitled and we believe everyone should speak English wherever we go, which probably ties into why we felt we could colonise so many places, so many places, so unashamedly.

Obviously, there are lots of British people who grew up by, But also it's interesting, isn't it? French or Spanish. French or Spanish. And in my mom's day, she says a lot. My mom speaks weirdly a bit of German because that's what she was given in school. My mom's very good with languages. She really is adept at understanding them and the rhythm of them and can sound. So she, I can't remember what the other one was in her day, like 70s, Suffolk. The options were German. And I imagine still French. German. Yeah, of course. I was, I might, but the German was considered the easiest. Spanish was slightly harder and then French was the hardest. That was the three, when I was at school anyway. Right. But Mandarin, Thai was learning Mandarin. Mackenzie's son was learning Mandarin.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I know. And Deborah's daughter is learning Mandarin. Interestingly, Hungarian has no root language. Most other languages are either rooted in Latin or like the Germanic. There's some, like once you know one, you have a bit of access to others, not loads, but a bit in terms of like the patterns.

Jeez. I think so. Again, I'd have to be fat-checked on it, but I seem to recall someone saying that to me when I was in Budapest. Oh, so it's cousins. It's cousins to finish in Estonian, Hungarian. We might have spoken about it because Vaj is Hungarian for butter.

It's the best bakery I've ever been to. It's called Vaj. No, that didn't come up. That didn't come up in vaginas and that didn't come up. We haven't done butter, but it didn't come up. So wow. Yeah. I actually love Budapest.

Yeah. The West, I've lost the charm in the West slightly. I've been all around Europe. Really? We haven't mentioned it, but okay. Yes, yes. I've never shared that information. But Budapest is a vibe.

I would strong recommend for anybody. It's like, it's literally, for me, Budapest is like Paris, but there's just no one there. Beautiful. Only thing wrong with Paris is the French. No, I'm joking. No, not the Pete. I mean,

as in it's not as touristy. They've got remnants of the Ottoman Empire just sat there dormant. Wow. Yeah, it's amazing. The architecture is unbelievable, genuinely. It's like walking along the bank at night. The people who've been will know what I mean.

And in Buda and Pesh is split, right, by a river. It's beautiful. It's honestly like, it's a really gorgeous city. I was reading this article in the Financial Times about this man who's built a hotel in Budapest on the water and it's sorry, not built it

like restored it and it's deeply, deeply historical and old and beautiful and the way he was talking about Budapest I was like I could probably say

I've never thought about Budapest and by the end I was just like this sounds like a place where magic still lives yeah beautiful

God I really want to get I really want to learn loads of languages and travel more I really think that's what I want to do in my 40s a bit more same

we need to get some language teachers man yeah maybe night I told you night school. That would be so cool. Apparently there's an app where people can sign up.

It's like Uber, but for language teachers. Interesting. But maybe we should just take out technology and go to like a night class. No, but it's a real person. Oh. I'm sometimes saying it's a real person that you can say, I speak this and I'd like to teach it and then you just pay them per hour. Oh, interesting.

So it's like giving people an opportunity to earn a bit of extra cash if they're bilingual or trilingual. It's actually night classes, the app. Kind of, yeah. You can just do it on Zoom or whatever. Actually, what am I chatting about? I think my friend Olivia is a teacher on this. Yes. She just remembered she teaches Portuguese on this. Because she's Brazilian Portuguese.

Are you joking me? Yes, yes. You just mentioned this. Yeah, sorry, God. Yeah, that's exactly what she teaches. Can she teach me? Yeah, I'll ask her. Olivia's the best. Well, give me her number then.

I will. I'm going to hook you guys up. Jesus Christ. Let's totally have a final question, but I feel like I've learned a lot and I really hope you have two, world. Hi, Jordan and Mikita, my name is Viola. And as a speaker of five languages, this week's topic really spoke to me and sparked to curiosity. So I was born in Sicily, Italy, and my mother tongues are Sicilian and Italian. So Sicilian isn't just a dialect.

It's officially recognized by UNESCO as a vulnerable romance language. And it's also a really interesting and unique one because the island was a crossroad for the Greeks, the Arabs, the Normans, the Spaniards. And so the vocabulary developed to capture all these social nuances. There are specific, like, Sicilian concepts that just could not be perfectly translated into Italian. So, for example, we have a word that's anna carsi. It means, like, to rush and to stall at the same time. My curiosity is, is that specific experience, lost when vocabulary and words die, those are internal emotional range shrink with it.

Love the podcast. You're both amazing role models in the public eye. Beginos. Ciao. Ciao, Bella. Wow, she's so goaded. Oh, my God. And you know what's so crazy when you know that many languages is like people must also dream and think in different languages. That trips me out. Of course. Of course, because if you are French, you dream in French. Even that I find weird.

Of course they do. Yeah. Not only would you be dreaming bilingually, but I think when you've really cracked a language, one must begin to think in said language. And that's when you know that you are just, you are bilingual. You have this other language in your mainframe. Oh my God, I want it. I want that feeling.

Someone actually said to me, I've only met the English version of them. Right. Which spun me out. It was almost as if the limitations of English meant that there was an extra percentage of their character that they couldn't fully express. Beautifully put, Jordan. This is what I was thinking from what that lady was saying.

It's like, actually, this article by this Italian food writer in The Guardian that I read every Saturday, and she always talks about the history of Italian food. And there's always like, we have a saying that is, da-da-da-da-da, and it means to something. And it's sometimes usually quite like, opposing things. But I was just wondering if we had,

because it's such a beautiful thing to have in language, these sayings that you know are ancient and means something so simple usually. What did she say hers was? To stall and to rush at the same time. It's like, yeah, that does need its own turn of phrase. And I wonder, she says, is that loss with us losing words in vocabulary?

So this actually taps into something that I am slightly obsessed with whenever I come across here, which is the fact that, other languages will have kind of words that sum up emotions that we don't have in the same way, if that makes sense. Oh yeah, Seb sent me something about this. The French have a version of that as well, like bonbouche.

Isn't bonboosh like the good mouthful or something? Yeah, I mean, that makes sense. Bon, bouch, emotions that don't exist in English, right? This is insane. Onsra. Onsra is from Borough in India and it's to love for the last time with the painful awareness that it cannot last.

Yeah. Oh my God, this is deep Arabic. To Bernie. To Bernie. I love you so much that I hope I die before you because I couldn't bear to live without you. Yeah, mad. Jade was, Jade's been learned in Arabic

and she tells me that there's some really, like, incredible phrases and just things that can't be expressed without many words. There's also a Japanese term, which I remember right, putting in my book actually, mono no aware, which I love, which is the term for the intangible sadness we all feel because we're aware of life itself. Oh my God, say again to me, mono. It's like, it's basically melancholy, but just, I just know for some reason it feels like

it's got an extra kick. Mono no aware. Mono no aware. So it's like a deep understanding that things are transient. That's so serious and real. Yeah, yeah, man. This is quite nice. Let's pick it up.

Let's just raise the vibes of it. In Indonesian, there's a, I guess, a word, Jais. Jais, a joke told so badly or awkwardly that you can't help but laugh. Yeah, I know that one. Sick. Love that. Oh my goodness. Sorry, I've just got to do one more.

This is too good. Thank you, Seb for sending me this. He said this would be great for listen, bitch. This is from Chile. Yaghan in Chile, Y, H-A-G-H-N. And it's, oh my God, how do you say this? Chili and word. Mamahillapinatapi

Tape. Mamma Hilapinat Tape is a shared look between two people each hoping the other will begin something they both want but are too hesitant to start.

Wow. I'm just like I'll be saying that this year. I'll put that in a sentence today, won't you? Miss me listeners. Do we have one?

In English, sorry. What? Do we have something? Like something like that, like a phrase for two people looking at each other knowing they want a love to stop but are too hesitant to say

I mean what the fuck? Thrill to bits Wow, how embarrassing No, that's quite good I like that Thrilled to bits Thrilled. I suppose, yes I suppose

To be fair, I'm in bits if you actually really deep it to say that I'm in bits that's deep When someone says I'm in bits You know that it needs you to I wonder how certain words

that we take for granted would be translated into other languages, like if we think of words like bliss or euphoria, serenity. Oh, yeah. It says here, evocative phrases, calm before the storm. Love that. Oh, well, well, there you go. To touch someone's heart, limerence,

the state of being infatuated or obsessed with another person. Is that limerence? Yeah. Limerence. That's interesting because I was trying to pick apart limbo the other day with someone. Ineffable. I used that in a lyric the other day, ineffable, because I was trying to find a way to say something,

and it came up and it rhymed. And I was like, What does ineffable mean? Ineffable is a word that means too great or extreme to be expressed or described in words. Oh my God. So love could be ineffable. Yeah. Yeah, big time.

Let's finish the, let's finish languages on the word ineffable. I love that. That's right. And I'm in eff withable. I'm just going to say, how do we turn that into the name of the episode? I think you just did it. I'll do. It's ineffable how unefwiverable I am, bro.

The hell? That's great yet. God, were you like in a band or something because you're quite good at that. Yeah, I also like, I think I could make up some words. I say words that don't make sense and try and keep them in all the time actually. Just like if it feels right, you know what I mean?

Yeah, you and Shakespeare, changing their language. Yeah. All right, well, we'll end there on ineffable because we just are... I know what I want the next one to be. Next listen, bitch. Cars. Cars is actually really good

because it can be car stories. It can be, like, my mom has had several love affairs with cars. Yes, I know. Yeah, she loves cars. She speaks to cars. We did driving year one, so we can do cars. Yeah, yeah, specifically cars. I don't need to get into how many, I mean,

I actually got a lot of pushback for ridiculing you on your driving theory, so I don't want to bring that back up. Oh, well, I just fucking failed it again. I cannot with this test. I just have to keep going. It's not funny. Wait, wait, wait. Is that your sixth time?

It was my fifth in round two. It's actually, well, if you want to add the last round, it's actually my tenth. You failed. No, no, hold on, hold on, hold on. No. You failed the driving theory. The driving theory test.

Why are you laughing? Wait, did you pass it the first round, though, and then it ran out, right? Yeah, I passed it before we went. I'm not doing this to you again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry, so, sorry, sorry, I forgot. I forgot. No, so you passed it.

That's fine. Yeah, once, but I can't seem to do it again. And then I read that if you fucking get too many points, they make you take your theory and practical again. I was like, fuck this game. But I've just got to keep going. But you have to be in the car to get the points, McGee. That's what I'm saying.

But once I pass this and then my practical, the idea that there's a way I'd have to do it all again, makes me feel sick. Let's save all this for cars. Can we get your questions, please? And not just men. Not just blokes and their, car stories.

I feel like the women have missed me. You can also have a car story. No, are you joking me? My mum is, literally, I'll say this with chess. My mum is the best driver I've ever met in my life. She's actually unbelievable. I've seen her do things that men can't do actually. That's right, children.

Oh, 8,030, 40, 90. We'll see you next week. She, I'll tell you next week. Mw. All right, love. Bye. Thanks for listening to Miss Me. This is a Percephonica production for BBC Sounds.

Ever wondered what's really going on behind the biggest celebrity scandals. From Justin Baldoni versus Blake lively to Kim Kardashian's sex tape lawsuit to Brigitte McCron fighting claims she was born a man. These stories dominate your feeds, but what's the truth? That's where our podcast, Fame Under Fire, comes in. I'm Inishka Matadowity and each week we dig deep into the legal battles and controversies everyone's talking about with expert analysis and exclusive scoops. New episodes of Fame Under Fire Drop every week. Listen now and subscribe on BBC Sounds.