Miss Me? - Listen Bitch! Taurus SZN

Episode Date: April 28, 2025

Lily Allen and Miquita Oliver answer your questions about birthdays.Next week, we want to hear your questions about AI (ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE). Please send us a voice note on WhatsApp: [phone]. Or, if you like, send us an email: [e-mail] episode contains very strong language and adult themes. Credits: Producer: Flossie Barratt Technical Producer: Will Gibson Smith Assistant Producer: Caillin McDaid Production Coordinator: Hannah Bennett Executive Producers: Dino Sofos and Ellie Clifford Assistant Commissioner for BBC: Lorraine Okuefuna Commissioning Editor for BBC: Dylan Haskins Miss Me? is a Persephonica production for BBC Sounds

BBC Sounds music radio podcast. This episode of Miss Me contains some very strong language and some adult themes. Welcome to Listen Bitch! It's that time of the week. The birthday edition. The birthday edition of Listen Bitch. Bon anniversaire! Well, we just had my birthday.

And then it is going to be my birthday! All of our lives, like most people's, our birthdays don't change. And they've been seven days apart since the day Lily was born. Since that beautiful, magical day when I was one year and six days old and the love of my life was born. Lily, Rose, Beatrice, Alan. Both Torians, both mental and like home comforts. Yeah.

And loyal. Loyal, loyal to the bone. We haven't always been the most loyal to each other, but you know. No. We've got there in the end. Don't incite those mumsnet bitches, Lily. I'd cut a bit for you now, babe.

Absolutely. I know you would. Let's go to our first question. It's birthdays, obviously. It's birthdays. Are we going to be asked? Hi,'s birthdays, obviously, it's birthdays. Are we going to be asked? Hi, Lily and Makita. This is Nathan.

I'm calling from Nashville, Tennessee. I have a question about birthdays. I feel like there can be a lot of pressure around a birthday. Sometimes you have really high expectations. Sometimes it doesn't live up to those expectations. Trying to get to the point where a birthday for me is just a nice day,

that I don't expect anything more than that. Sometimes you can't even control that, but that's the bar for me. So my question is, have you ever had a birthday where you had really high expectations and it definitely met them or exceeded them? And on the flip side, have you ever had a birthday where you had high expectations and it absolutely did not meet them or exceeded them. And on the flip side, have you ever had a birthday where you had high expectations

and it absolutely did not meet them? Thank you, a huge fan of you both and of the podcast. Bye. You can't even bloody remember, can you? What? Which one? You don't remember any of your birthdays, so I don't even think you'd remember having high expectations for any of them.

I don't know what we did for your 21st. Yeah, I think, didn't we have a thing in my mum's garden? Yeah, maybe. Or was that the Claridge's one? No, Claridge's, your Claridge's was your 24th. Okay. Okay. That was legendary.

That was legendary. I spent the whole night with Mark Ronson and I told, have I told this story? I'm going for lunch with him straight after this record today. How's he doing? Because he had a kid, didn't he? He's got two babies now. Oh, I love his marriage.

Yeah, it's very sweet. Very interested in it from the outside. Tell him that. My 21st, let's talk about the absolute shit show that was My 21st. They decided to do it as a threesome with cousin Phoebe and our best friend Lauren Jones. Yes, yes, Lauren. And it's just such a shit show. Such a shit show.

What happened? Oh, please, you were there. I threw so much money at this thing, because I was mental. Where was it? We did that church in Hackney on Hackney Road. Oh yes, I remember. But I hired coaches to bring people from Westwood Studios

from Grove to Hackney, because in those days it was still like, we're going where? Hackney, I'd only lived there for like a year. Yeah, people would be like, I don't know, I'm not getting on the tube, yeah. So you had to provide transportation to get people to come. Had to get some coaches, obviously, for Charlie Robeson and Crockett. And what was the problem?

No offense. My stepdad Garfield hired a really dodgy, weird, like kind of birthday planner, this weird German guy who we never saw again. And he was terrible and didn't know how to throw a party. And I never understood why we got him because my dad throws parties for a living and our family throw parties all the time. So I was like, why do we need this guy? And he did these, you know, like, was it cool when there's like an outline of a Victorian silhouette, like face? Oh, yeah yeah, like what do they call those things? They're called cameos.

Cameos, yeah. He put those all over the place. I was like, what is this aesthetic? And he sort of tried to make it look like- Was it you? Maybe, maybe me, Phoebe and Lauren in cameo form. Yeah, it was just awful. And also he didn't get enough security. This is a big one. He

didn't get enough security on the door. So there wasn't enough security to handle the capacity, which is bullshit because obviously we knew we were going to fill the space and the space was for 500 people, but he'd only got a few security. So there was like 250 people outside that couldn't get in to our 21st birthday. Like Charlie Robeson didn't get into that bit. And then I had the after party at the church in Bethnal Green that I lived in. And that just got very serious. But wait a second, can you just... So you had capacity for 500 people.

You were there. But you had invited 750 people. No, we'd invited 500, but they only got security to look after 250. And they were like, well, we didn't know you'd fill the space. It's like, but you've seen the guest list and we've invited 500 people. He was just like a bad party organizer.

And because we do so many in the family, I could see all the holes in his work. And then we think he stole all Lauren's birthday presents. Her 21st birthday. and she's got rich family members who would have got us some nice stuff. So yeah, it was an absolute shit show and Lauren still bitches about it to me now. So yeah. Yeah, that would sting. Yeah. Like a whole pile of presents that you don't even know what they were.

For your 21st. Like come on. That shit would keep me up at night. Yeah, yeah. So I think that will do for answering the question. I've been taking it back to a really hard time. Hey, next year, your 21st birthday would have been half your life ago. No, isn't that this year? Because I'm 41 and that was my 21st. No, 21 plus 21 is 42. Okay, yeah. Sorry, my head scrambled by telling that bloody story. Memories in the corner of my mind.

Let's have another question. Let's keep going down memory lane, birthday themed. Hi, Lillian Makita. Happy birthday week to you both. I hope you both have a great birthday. I've just put the kids to bed and we were talking about kids parties because they seem to go to one every other week. They have a far more active social life than I do these days. But kids parties are mental these days.

I love a kids birthday party, don't get me wrong, but some of the stuff that people do is just incredible, but mad. It's like, there's a lot of pressure to have your Instagram corner set up so people can get nice photos and spending 250 quid on a balloon arch that you're going to use for three hours and who wants to stand in a soft play on a Sunday morning at 9am with a slight hangover? Not me, but we do it and it's fun and the kids have a great time. But I was wondering what kids parties were like when you guys were kids and what your favorite things about them were. And also, what is the best thing you've ever got in a party bag from a party? Mine was a giant

Gobstopper, which lasted me about two weeks. It's still famous to this day because my tongue was like a different color than it should be for quite a long time after I finished eating it. Anyway, have a great birthday. Thanks for the podcast. I love it. Let me know what you think. Happy birthday week. I love that. It is our birthday week. I forgot about party bags. God, that must get so expensive because I used to have quite big kids birthday parties. The ones I had at Fred's, which was a club in Soho that our family used to do the kids parties out, which is quite good thinking, I used to think. I guess our family used to do the kids parties out, which is quite good thinking I used to think. I guess then you've got to do party bags.

I think mine used to be at like Smolenskij's Balloon. Remember Smolenskij's Balloon? No, what is that? It was like this kids kind of restaurant that I think I used to add my birthday party in a couple of times. My favourite birthday parties to go to were McDonald's parties. They weren't that common though. Actually, no, no, no, no, no. No, they really were. That was like a port of call for kids birthday parties. That wouldn't go down now. That would be poo-pooed and frowned upon in like a mom's gang, parent gang now. Yeah, for sure.

Right? If you said we're having a birthday party at McDonald's, I don't think parents would want to come or bring their kids. No, I loved one. I loved the McDonald's birthday party. So exciting. And then that's when you got the crowns. Yes. And, you know, happy meal in your little box. Love that shit. Tootsies as well. Charlie Robinson had a good one at Tootsies. Oh, Tootsies. You know what my mom made the other day, Lel? Do you remember the deep fried mushrooms

from the Gate Diner? Yes. That came with the sour cream dip. Oh my God. Me and Phoebe just had a memory of it the other day and my mom was like, I'll make that for you. And it was like, it was like a traveling back to another time viscerally,

just from this deep fried mushroom. It used to be on like 70s pub lists. But anyway, yeah, birthday parties when we were kids, you know, my mom really puts a lot of emphasis on celebrating a birthday. She would drag hers out and still does for weeks, sometimes months. So I was taught from a very young age

that like you gotta do something. And when I stopped doing things, it was really freeing. Sort of around 26 things, things weren't going well and there wasn't much to celebrate. And my mom was like, I don't think you need to throw loads of money at some birthday party right now. I think you need to look at your life.

And I was like, what? But she was so right. I was in Mexico into Brad Pitt for that film Moneyball. As you do, yeah. My 20s. And she called me and said that to me and it really upset me, but she was so right. There's a time and a place for a pie, even when you're a kid.

Oh, I wanted to say, have you seen With Love from Meghan? No. Like Meghan Markle's new show on Netflix? Oh, yes, I have, yeah. Right. When she made the balloon arch, and I love Meghan Markle, I suddenly stopped liking her for a minute, and I think it was suddenly...

It was like this casual approach to something that seemed quite tricky and complicated, and I felt like if I didn't know how to make a balloon arch as well as her, I'd probably feel like a bit of a shit mum that for that day. Can you make a balloon arch? No, I can't make a balloon arch. Megan wins. I can buy a fuck ton of balloons and just let them like fly up to the ceiling, which

is what I do for my kids birthdays every year. By the way, just because we're talking about a very famous female person who's, you know, a bit divisive, I would actually like to apologize for being mean about Katy Perry last week. Oh! There was actually no need for me to bring her name into it. And it was my own internalized misogyny. I've been thinking about it a lot. And it was just completely unnecessary to pile on with her. I mean, I disagree with what it was that they did, but she wasn't the only person that did it.

Yeah, she was possibly the most famous and the one that, you know, it divides people the most. And so, I don't know, there was something in me that decided to choose her as the person that should... Well, anyway, I'm just sorry. I would have been her if it had been me and someone in my industry. You used you and your name. Used me and my name and I saw that and I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Katy Perry. I know you don't listen to the show, but yeah, sorry. I'm really happy you said that. That's the good thing about Miss Me. It's on every bloody week so we can right our wrongs the next week or the next one.

I think it's time for us to take a little break. Yeah, I'll have a little break. Break time. Yeah, it's break time. Welcome back. And we're back. And we're back. As if by magic. Okay, let's have another question. Let's have a little penulti. Hi, Makita. Hi, Lily. My name's Jess. I'm from Shropshire. Absolutely love the podcast. listen to it every week. So it's my birthday on Sunday, so like you two ladies, I am a Taurus. And I know a common trait for Taurus is that we love our food and love eating, which might not be the case for all, but for me, that's 100% true.

I love my food, I love cooking, I love eating out, I love good food, I love dirty takeaway food, anything. So my question for you is what would be your perfect birthday food? What would be your perfect meal or do you prefer like a big buffet at a party? So yeah, what would be your perfect food? Yeah, thank you guys and I hope you both have lovely birthdays as well. Bye. Thank you. Well, Lily loves to eat out, loves to eat out.

I don't think there's anyone I know that enjoys restaurants as much as you. I think I probably prefer like my mum or your mum to cook for my birthday. Yeah. Then I cook for myself, all go out to a restaurant. Yeah, you know, nice restaurant with the kids. But what is on the menu if mum and Wileson were cooking? Because mum made me, mum did a lot of cooking for me this weekend. She made me a shepherd's pie, just a standard shepherd's pie, but it's my favorite thing to eat. And I was like, happy birthday to me. Your mom's chicken, I probably like with rice and avocado salad. My mom, probably her roast

chicken and also that she does, which I really like. I think we just want like cozy food that makes us feel good on our birthday. And for some reason it does feel good to be cooked by your mum when it's your birthday. I think sometimes we all just want to feel like a bit of a kid that's being looked after for the day. I know I do. I know I do. Do you want to ask for the next question honey bun on this birthday special? Can we have another question please? Hi Lillian Makita.

I'm Jessie. I'm from Dublin but I live in Amsterdam now. Huge fan of the podcast. It gets me through when I'm missing my girls and I love listening to you guys. So my birthday question for you, I recently turned 30 and I had a vampire themed party. So everyone was very sexy or very silly.

And I wanted to know if you had ever had a themed birthday party. Thanks, love you, bye. I think we think we're too cool for them. I don't think I've ever done a fancy dress or a theme. No, yeah we're not really like white party kind of people. I don't know if I've ever had a fancy dress party which is strange because I love fancy dress. You do. I don't know if I've ever had a fancy dress party, which is strange because I love fancy dress. You do. I don't know if I've ever had a theme. Let me just think. So I feel like I'm missing some really obvious themed birthday party. I mean, the theme was just like, let's get fucked up. Did that a lot. No, I don't think

I ever needed a theme. It's very important to me to have good music, music that I like. I hate bad music. It kills a party. We were taught early about the things that a good party needs. What do you think that is? I think what I've learned from our family is what a good party needs is a generational mix. Always.

Mm. Yeah, that's good. And I think that even works for kids parties. It's a good shout. What did she actually ask us? Have you ever had a bad thing? No, no, the answer's no. Can we have another question, please? Hi, Lily. Hi, Makita. It's Christine here from Cumbria. I'd just like to say that, first of all, before I ask my question, that you're both pure icons. I am a 1985 baby too, so

I've grown up loving you both. It's my big for all this year too as it is yours Lily and I feel about 20 in my head. Maybe my thought process has started to change a little bit over the years but I do not feel 40. I just wondered how you two feel about the ageing process? Do you feel your age? Do you feel like I do, so much younger? I get shocked sometimes when I look in the mirror. And I also get shocked when I go out in the clubs and or pubs and there are these children in there that look, some of the lads, not even old enough to shave. Anyway, I hope that you both feel as youthful as I do inside.

Oh, that's a lovely way to end your question. I do feel youthful inside. What about you? Um, do I feel youthful inside? No, I don't think I do. I've always felt older than I am. Mm. You were kind of getting older at like 26.

I don't mean like getting old, but like becoming a grown up and doing very grown up things. I feel like I chase stability and like, you know, family. I think part of that, you know, determination to, you know, have that stability matured was quite a mature sort of fantasy to have, you know. But let's be honest, we didn't think we'd look like this. I thought we'd be old. I thought we'd be, you know, hunchbacks with walking sticks. At 40? Yeah, I thought you felt very old to me when I was 20.

Yeah, I was even remembering living at my friend Doralee's house. Remember Doralee? When I was 31 and she was 43 and I was like, oh my God, I can't believe she's that old. I can't believe she even still leaves the house. And it's like, because she was a dancer and I was like, why does she still look good? She's 43.

So this is like, you know, old rules that we were told by who the fuck knows who, who the fuck knows when, who the fuck knows when, about what 40 meant. Wouldn't it be very clever of the world around us and society to tell women or anyone that turning 40 is the time where you become invisible when actually it's probably when you become your most powerful. Wouldn't that be quite convenient? And it's all we've got to do is just like not listen to that one particular rule because it's total, total bollocks. It's been quite fun finding that out actually. I think I feel about 32, which is pretty good for 41. But I wouldn't mind doing that test with you where they tell you what your physical

age is. I did it actually here for a part of a medical thing. I think I'm 36 maybe. Oh, I'm looking for younger than that. I'm hoping for a bit younger than that. I feel young. I do feel weirdly young. I feel younger at 41 than I did at 40. 40 was very surreal.

I have to say, because we were shooting, me and Lil were doing a photo shoot opposite on the street that I grew up on. So to be staring at Powers Terrace, staring at the stoop that I was a young child on for so long, that was quite trippy to be turning forward. I found that quite heavy and a bit difficult when we were at Clancy's house. But I started getting a bit like, oh my god, this is real. But 41 feels a little bit more freeing. Good. I think we answered that one. Yeah

I'd say so for the lovely lady in Cumbria. Yeah we'll have a final question please. Hi guys it is Melanie from last year loving the podcast. I'm obsessed just love it. I am turning the big four zero next year and I feel like I need to start planning it. I'm a mum of two kids under the age of five so it's pretty crazy and I feel like this is a good valid excuse to ask for a babysitter overnight. So yeah, what is good to do in London for a 40th? I mean I love London but I've not been for a good five years now and I can imagine it's changed quite a lot in those five years so yeah, let me know what's good to do for a big birthday.

Bye bye! Well, I mean Leicester Square, obviously. No, no. But wait, so she's from Leicester, right? And she's going to bring all her friends from Leicester to London for a party? I think so. I think she's like, that's where I want to spend it.

I'll bring my people up to, you know, she's like coming up to town for the night. What's our little black book? Just go clubbing. I'll bring my people up to, you know, she's like coming up to town for the night. What's our little black book? Just go clubbing. Like we know where to go clubbing. Well, the Notting Hill Arts Club was a good place for your 40th. Thank you.

Yeah. That was great. It was great, wasn't it? It was a bloody good party. I have no fucking idea where the club is in London at the moment. I have heard that Uptown Splur is starting up again though. You know that ragga thing that I used to go to I slip off when no no no no Lily I found a picture of us leaving that place the other day. Yeah it's restarting. That was a there it is there it is. It was a vibe. I don't know if it's a vibe. What are we wearing?

Oh no. Oh my God. Am I wearing Uggs? You're quite good. You're in like a blue barber. I've got the obligatory Indie Sleeves leather jacket on. God. And and Winkle Pickers, Makita. And Winkle. Oh my God. I look like a fucking mad person. I'd go there. I'd go there with you.

Do you think it'd be in the same place in town? No, that's what I asked Seb. I said, is it at Cameos? And then I don't think Cameos exists anymore. But that was that was a night. I would find a ragged club and go there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's so true. Cause that just doesn't really exist

until you have a birthday party. So yeah, this is what I do. Find cameos. I have to say our friend who Lil's talking about, Seb Chu, did this night called Yo-Yo with Leo at arts club for years and years and years. And it gave so many people so much fun in their youth. But they came back last year

and started doing street parties, like block parties, like old school block parties. And they had one the other night. They started again. Yeah, I still haven't been to one. But I have to say, like, it looks like an actually good party, which you don't really see much on your phone. You don't see many parties. You think I want to go to that. So we'll let you know. Well, supposedly, if you were having a good time at a party, you wouldn't be filming it. Yes, quite. Yeah, but this is good actually, because Yo-Yo, they're not filming it. It's

like Natalia filming it all and everyone's just like in the rave. She's the one just making the edits of the nice films. No one is on their phones at this rave. It's next year, right? So we'll find out what the Yo-Yo plans are. I think you and your friends would really enjoy a little West London block party. That's my advice. And breathe in the middle of the birthday week. We can do this. Okay, I'm here. I'm doing it. You can do this. I've just done it. You can do this. You can be celebrated and I can't wait to see what presents you have and the fanfare that England has for you. Waiting for you. Who knows what BBC sounds have up their sleeve to celebrate Lily Allen turning 14. We expect

to see on the front cover of every paper the icon has landed in the decade of 40. I'll write it. Okay, next week's Listen Bitch theme is something that we've come up with together to mirror today's modern world. Lily, what is next week's Listen Bitch theme? Next week's Listen Bitch is going to be AI. AI. AI. AI. AI. AI. AI. AI. And that's all we have to say about that.

Because we're going to talk far too much about it. No, you can send your question through our new AI device. Or just thoughts. I was thinking sometimes, sometimes it doesn't have to be a question it could just be a thought and then we can get carry on from those thoughts that's really nice you know what I mean that's really nice and I'd like to add something to so that there's one ad you have a thought that you'd like us to continue with please do send it along and also I'd like to know what people do for jobs I really would so can you just tell me what your job is when you tell me who you are because it's really want to get who you are. Let's perk up this and bitch

for the spring, for the summer even. And yes, and you can send those questions or thoughts or whatever it is that you want to send to us. 080304090. That's 080,030-40-90. And that's it from us. We'll see you next week. Have a good one. Bye. Bye.

Thanks for listening to Miss Me with Lily Allen and Makeda Oliver. This is a Persephoneca production for BBC Sounds. Do you ever feel like you're the only one navigating life's ups and downs? Well, guess what? You're not alone. It's Anna Richardson here and my podcast, It Can't Just Be Me,

helps you realize that you're not the only one. Join me as I sit down with incredible celebrity guests and experts to dive into life's biggest topics and covering their very own It Can't Just Be Me moments. Expect revelations, honest anecdotes and a few laughs about the challenges and obstacles that life throws at us. Listen on BBC Sounds.