Miss Me? - Listen Bitch! Total Recall?

Episode Date: October 21, 2024

Lily Allen and Miquita Oliver answer your questions about memories.Next week, we want to hear your questions about MOTHERS. Please send us a voice note on WhatsApp: [phone]. Or, if you like, send us an email: [e-mail] episode contains very strong language and adult themes. Credits: Producer: Flossie Barratt Technical Producer: Will Gibson Smith Production Coordinator: Hannah Bennett Executive Producers: Dino Sofos and Ellie Clifford Assistant Commissioner for BBC: Lorraine Okuefuna Commissioning Editor for BBC: Dylan Haskins Miss Me? is a Persephonica production for BBC Sounds

This is the BBC. This podcast is supported by advertising outside the UK. Life and death were two very realistic coexisting possibilities in my life. I didn't even think I'd make it to like my 16th birthday to be honest. I grew up being scared of who I was. Any one of us at any time can be affected by mental health and addictions. Just taking that first step makes a big difference. It's the hardest step. But CAMH was there from the beginning.

Everyone deserves better mental health care. To hear more stories of recovery, visit camh.ca. This episode of Miss Me contains very strong language, adult themes, and I'm afraid quite a fluey Makita. Welcome to Listen Bitch, the flu edition. Do I sound terrible? Lily? Aye, you don't sound terrible. Sorry, my husband just walked in. Tell David when we hire him to fill in for you, that's when we want to see him. Not now.

All right now. No, don't do that. Tell him I love him and miss him. Makita says she loves you and she misses you. Oh, Makeda. Love the way he says my name. Makeda. Yes, welcome to Listen Bitch.

It's great to be here. Thanks, David. With Lily Allen, David Harbour, and Makeda Oliver is quite the cocktail of presenters today. They were talking about memories. Yeah, yeah. And you have no memory. Memories.

I have literally no memory, so that's great. So we're fucked today. Let's steam right in. Let's get our first question. Hi, Lily. Hi, Makita. Love the podcast. It's Millie from Cornwall.

I'm going to go in with a very basic, what is your first ever memory? I don't remember much from being a very young child or baby, but I do have a vivid memory of walking down a hospital corridor. On entering the hospital ward, I see my glorious mother sat in hospital bed and remember the shock horror of her presenting to me my new baby sister and feeling just sheer anger and dread that she had done this to me. I would love to know what your earliest memory is and if it was a good one or a bad one. I would just like to say that my sister is now my bestie and I love her very

much so thanks mum. Thank god for that I thought she was going to say it and I have to say I did kill my sister and got rid of her but no, it's her bestie. I have fucking no clue what my first memory is. Do you remember Alfie being born? Because you would have been one. No I don't remember that for sure. He's always been there. He's always been there. So probably only like four, five, do I start having a memory?

I have a very clear, not clear memory of being in our flat in Berry Place in Bloomsbury. In 10. And we left there when I was four, so it must have been then. And sitting on the sofa in the living room, and my sister and her friend Ruby, Ruby!

Drawing these pictures. And they were like, it was clearly something that they'd learned at school, or something that had happened at school, because it was like a picture of the world, and then like a banner going around the world with like banned CFCs which is like aerosols. Gases, yeah. Which was quite an issue around then. It was like at a time where, you know, that was like the number one like environmental

concern was like aerosols. I remember that though. I remember deodorant being a real issue. And yeah, and I was really lit so I thought it was cool. You know when big girls can draw? I was like, wow. All my memories of the bigger girls, because Sarah's five years older than us and all her friends were just like, you know, we thought they were fucking superstars. All they were doing

was going to Bagley's to like get high. We were like, they are incredible. Living. Living. Living their lives. I love those memories when we were the little ones. I can't remember. I lived in a, do you remember that we lived in a flat before Paris Terrace in White City? No, I don't remember that. Right. Okay. I don't think we were there very long, but it's where I had my first word because my first word was moon and my mum bless her and like tried to, oh my God, how dare you

have that reaction to the beauty that is my life. Of course it was Moon. Mine was Prozac. Yeah, probably. And she said that she'd tried to, we had this horrible estate flat. It was a really horrible flat. Like she didn't feel safe there at all. We were being abused verbally by the neighbors and she uh one day realized that we could see the moon from my bedroom and I wish I had that memory but I know it's a really special memory for my mom it's when she kind of felt like things were going to be okay for us I'll just take that even though I can't remember it that might happen quite a lot today yeah should we have another question you look like you want to have

another question I do really want another question. Let's get you on then. Let's do that for you. I can do that for you. Hi, Lily and Rekita. My name is Dominique. I live in Margaret River in Western Australia. I'd love for you guys to come and do a live podcast there when you get around to that.

But I'm currently in Naples in Italy. And my question for you is, what is your best and worst memories of each other? Oh, God. Well, let's start with best. Oh, do you know what one of my best ones is, Trimini? Is Santana and the Bed. Yeah. It was a great afternoon. Such a shit song. Get a fucking eye, dog. When we would watch the faculty.

Yes, but that's sort of a continuing memory that's still with her. We still quote that. We don't, but we remember those quotes. But this day was strange. We were just alone in Lily's mum's house and there was this song that we fucking loved called Smooth by Rob Thomas and Carlos Santana. See I really remember this being in Burroughs Road. See that well that's the interesting thing about memory isn't it because I see us on Alison's white bed. Definitely 100% St. Peter Street.

See I see us in your bed in Burroughs Road. We could have done both. It was our favorite song at times, so it's probably both. Yeah, we probably just did both. That was a good memory, all that, that's Santana time. Worst memory is probably when I fucked up

and Lily stopped speaking to me and I realized how much I loved her and how much I missed her. Oh yeah, I was gonna say the same thing actually. For the worst one, yeah. It was terrible, it was awful. I think we can be more specific without being specific, but basically I had done something that was to be kept a top secret. Wait a minute.

We're talking about this. Yeah. And Makita got a little bit drunk one night and decided to share that secret with somebody who was directly involved with the secret. Yeah. No, it was so awful. Alfie called me in the morning and went, did you do do do do do? And I was like, yeah. And he was like, Lily is going to call you. And I was like, oh my god. And then you did. And you didn't leave it.

You just said, did you, did you not? And I said, yes, you hung up. I didn't speak to you for eight. How long did we do? Eight months? Maybe a year? I don't know. This is where my memory gets cloudy. It could have been two years. I don't know. No, it wasn't that long. But it was the worst. I think it's the worst memory we share, but it was a real lesson because I was like, I don't want to be someone that does shit like that. And I really made a choice that day because I lost you properly. Yeah.

And then I had to hide from a certain person's like, phone calls, it was absolutely terrifying. I think I have said that on this show, but anyway, less said than that, the better. There we go. Let's have another question. Hey ladies, love the podcast. My name's Jack. I'm from Canberra in Australia.

Memories. I have what I call memory spirals. I don't know if it's a thing that other people experience. I'm sure it is. I'm sure I'm not that fucking special. But it's when I think of one thing that I did badly or poorly or treated someone terribly 15 years ago. And then the memory spiral happened and that just triggers every other memory of every other shitty thing that I've ever done that's sticking in my brain like fucking super glue. Do you guys have this

happen as well or am I as special as I think I am? No I know I'm not. Thanks, love ya, bye. Firstly you are special. So please don't forget that, don't get lost in those thoughts. Um, memory spirals, yeah I have to say that I can thank Apple for this. It feels like I'm constantly bombarded with pictures of my first wedding. Oh my God. And I've, you know, I feel like I really fucked that marriage up, you know, that was me and my fault.

And when I see pictures of that day, I go down a real spiral of self hatred. Yeah. And it's triggered by a lot of things. It's triggered by my own behavior around that time and the breakdown of that marriage, but also all the people that were there and how desperate and lonely I felt when that marriage broke down and how none of those people were there for me in that moment. And that's, you know, it's sort of a bit of victim mentality because I was also isolating and I changed my phone number about a million times and I would be very much, you know, poor me, why doesn't anyone wanna help me out?

I'm clearly in pain. But yeah, those pictures, just because of the sheer amount of money that I spent on it and energy that I put into making it such a nice day for everybody. It was a great wedding. It just felt like full of shit because I wanted to share that day with people that cared about me

and I felt like they didn't really. Well, we were there. Yeah, that's true. Me, mum, Phoebe, Theo, we all had a great time. What about your mum falling in the ditch? That was funny. My mum fell in the ditch. In her red dress. We had a fucking great time.

Had a little dance with I think Professor Green. It was off the time. It was a wedding of its time. It was off the charts. But I never thought you looked at the, I never even think you look at the marriage like that. That's so funny, because memory, I always thought you saw it as like,

you rescued yourself from an unhappy marriage. No, that's not how I saw it as like you rescued yourself from an unhappy marriage. No, that's not how I saw it. Right. Yeah. I mean, I think it changes, you know, at the time I probably felt like that's probably what I was telling myself, but I don't. You know, when they say the power of magical thinking, right? And that's like, you know, good, positive thoughts and like, you know,

keep your mind healthy, keep it good. Cause you know, you have to hang out in this for the rest of your life so you might as well make it like a cozy nice place for your thoughts to dance around in but it wouldn't be great wouldn't be great we're smart people and we have imaginations wouldn't it be great if we could like turn like just lie to ourselves about the past just completely reframe memory because really it's an account of things happening that from your point of view, and your fear of how it looked to others, your fear of other people's point of view, right? When you go into a shame memory. But just like pretend you were triumphant in that memory. I'm going to try and do that. There are a few things that make me shudder

with embarrassment and shame. I mean, our brains are fascinating places. I think that they do do that. When I wrote my book, I had to sort of preface it with saying, you know, obviously this is my recollection of events and it's going to be not going to match everybody else's involves. And that doesn't mean that it's not the truth or that it is 100% the truth either. It's just how my brain has processed that information and decided to store it. Yes, exactly. And it keeps me in some sort of state

of like relatively feeling relatively safe, like having, you know, protected my narrative. But it definitely wouldn't match everybody else's involved for sure. But I think some people also hold onto darker, more shameful memories or look back at them more because they're familiar and familiarity is, even if it's horrible, it's better than feeling unsafe. Yeah.

I know I do that with some bad thoughts. I'm like, let me just go hang out with that bad thought for a while. It's like, why? It makes you feel like total shit. It's like, yeah, but I know it so well. Let me just go say hi. I know how it goes with this memory. And then you're like, I feel terrible.

So I'm gonna try. Let's all try and play the magic game of reframing all our most shameful memories into triumphant moments. Okay. I bet we all start attracting some more triumphant moments. All right, let's have another question.

Hey, Lily and Makeda. It's Adele here in Uxbridge, out west from London at the end of the Metropolitan Line. My question about memories is there's a famous Maya Angelou quote, which is, people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. So I wondered, what's a memory that you have whereby how someone made you feel has really stuck with you, whether that's good or bad. Interested to hear your answers, absolutely loving the podcast, do not let it end ever. Okay bye. What a wonderful question with a Maya Angelou quote to boot and one of my favorites,

people will never forget the way you made them feel. And what she's asking us to reverse, do we have people that we never forget the way they made us feel? Yeah, I mean. I have it with bad ones. Yeah, I have it with bad ones. I remember being at Leicester,

my first boyfriend's family home in Ireland once, and this friend of theirs came to visit for the weekend. And he came in and I just like had a complete trauma response to this person. And I knew exactly where it was that I remembered him from. It was like when I was really little, we'd been on holiday in Jamaica and I was getting my hair braided. I was indulging in some cultural appropriation,

aged five or whatever it was. And I was crying because it hurt so much. And the brother of the person whose house we were staying in I was crying because it hurt so much. The brother of the person whose house we were staying in was inactive addiction and he obviously couldn't deal with the noise that I was making. So he came out and I remember him picking me up off of this chair and shoving me against the wall and shaking so much that my like hit the back of the wall. And I'd never seen him since until I was like 18

and he walked in the kitchen and I was just like, oh my God, that's the guy. Traumat response. I remembered so clearly. Baby. And actually he was really nice, but it was like, I just couldn't trust him. I was just like, you made me feel really unsafe and scared

and your face will forever be imprinted in my mind stored under this particular emotion. You think about when you were talking about our brains being like kind of like machines and it's like where it's stored and why. And it's true. It's like trauma, column. You're going right in that one. Cousin Sash, she is a writer.

She works in music, but she is a beautiful writer. And she did a series of stories which were called The Way It Made Me Feel. of stories which were called The Way It Made Me Feel, and it was letters to every man she'd ever loved or been in her life. I thought, it's really interesting, there are people in your life, they become these creatures of fear for you. Like, you can be scared of people,

but there's no one can hurt you. It's just the memory of how someone made you feel. And attaching that, whatever the feeling was, to them makes them this powerful behemoth of things to you. Like, oh my God, I'm scared of you, or I can't handle this. But actually, it's just the way you were made to feel. It's just a feeling that can be tackled. God, this is really quite therapy today.

But that's something I've learned recently. Everything's emotional. I think it's time for a break. Yeah, alright then babe. I'll see you on the other side. Life and death were two very realistic coexisting possibilities in my life. I didn't even think I'd make it to like my 16th birthday, to be honest. I grew up being scared of who I was. Any one of us at any time can be affected by mental health and addictions.

Just taking that first step makes a big difference. It's the hardest step. But CAMH was there from the beginning. Everyone deserves better mental health care. To hear more stories of recovery, visit camh.ca. but CAMH was there from the beginning. Everyone deserves better mental health care. To hear more stories of recovery, visit camh.ca. C-A-M-H-A-N-G-A Here I am on the other side.

Hi. This side is nice, isn't it? This is a nice side. Welcome back to Listen Bitch. You can't be all play-schooly and then I have to say the word bitch. It doesn't work. Doesn't work. Welcome to the bitch side of Listen Bitch.

Let's have another question. Got a little one. This little question then. Little one. Hi, Lily and Makita. My name is Victoria. I am French-American but currently living in London. I love the podcast.

I think you guys have such an amazing combination of like honest content, but really hilarious content. So thank you guys for what you do. I love this week's theme on memories. It really made me think about the fact that there are a lot of smells that really bring back certain memories for me. And I'd love to know if you guys have some particularly odd smells that are maybe really

comforting, bring back really good memories, or on the contrary, smells that you just really despise because they bring back not so good memories. There are definitely some colognes that I don't want to smell anymore because they'll remind me of previous exes. And then equally, there are a lot of kind of odd smells that remind me of like my grandparents and the smell of like oldness. But I love it. So, yeah, I'd love to hear from you guys.

Thank you. What a lovely question. I have that with my nan now. I'm always smelling her neck because I'm just like, I need to remember your smell forever. She's like, get off me. But I'm just like, no, no, no.

What is nanny's smell? Because it is a smell but I wouldn't know what it actually is but it fills up, it goes directly to my heart. When you just said that, ex-boyfriend one, I just remembered. Sam Parker used to wear this Jean-Paul Gaultier perfume when we were dating, when we were like 18. I still can't smell it now. I'm just like, it's like, cause it's not, again, it's not about him. It's about how much I loved him when I was that age and we were

then who he was at that time and who I was and how much we liked each other. Yeah, Sam had a jumper that he, when we first got together and I remember I was going- I thought you were talking about Sam Parker. I was like, excuse me. No, I'm talking about Sam, my ex-husband. And I remember I was going on tour to Brazil and I remember being on the aeroplane and just having this jumper of his and smelling him and I loved it. I think other smells, oddly enough, like cocoa butter reminds me of your guy's house. And

that brings back like sort of childhood, happy childhood memories. Me and Sam, when I was pregnant with George, lived above this Italian restaurant in like Great Portland Street, Great Hitchfield Street, sorry. And I really associate, I can smell it now with my morning sickness. Like there's this smell that I could smell from the restaurant, like oil from like the friars or something. And it just made me retch. Like we actually had to move out

because it was just too intense. And I couldn't even smell it before I got pregnant at all. But it really just made me feel so sick. So there was that. And then, yeah, all the boys in the sixth form, when I was at Bida Health, wore Aqua Dejo, which is like a Giorgio Armani perfume. And it's a good one. And it still turns me on.

Oh my God. I really remember all the boys wearing that and me just being like, oh god. That's what I mean, it doesn't smell like boys, it smells like the hot boys in school, which is a particular thing. Yeah. I might go get a bottle of that John Paul Gaultier and bathe in it actually. Can we have another one question please? Hi Lillian Makita, my name's Daniel, I live in South London but I'm originally from the

Isle of Man. On the theme of memory, have you ever been in a position where you have doubted your own recollection or your own memories? I, although it's a bit of an extreme example, I was in a position where I was in a relationship where I was made to question my own memory

and my thoughts and feelings so much that I started to think that I actually had a memory problem and I went to the doctor to get checked out for early onset dementia at the age of 27. Which I know sounds a bit ridiculous but that's what happened at the time. So yeah, I was just wondering if you guys had ever kind of either deliberately in your own head rewritten a memory or if you had started to doubt the memories that you have had or the way in which you feel a situation had gone that might differ from other people's. Thanks very much. Love the podcast.

Thank you, Daniel. So matter of fact, I like that delivery of your question. I was dating someone awful who would constantly tell me I'd done things that I hadn't done and said things that I hadn't done to undermine me and he started to make me feel like I was going completely crazy. I think it's a really fucked up thing to do to someone but it's all about control and power. So yes and I really doubted myself and the things that I was saying and whether I could remember the right things really messes with you. I mean, I think that's the god awful idea of having something like Alzheimer's or dementia. I mean, the main thing is your memory is being fucked with. And I think it's probably the most discombobulating thing that can happen to your brain.

I think it's really, it's like a grounding thing, memory. It's like, okay, that did happen. Okay, that I remember that and that means that. But once that's like kind of dismantled, like it was in this relationship with this man, I thought I was crazy, but I wasn't. It turns out he was just an asshole gaslighter. Yes, quite. Yeah, I think it's so dangerous when somebody just tries to distort your sense of reality to protect their own narrative. Yes. Yeah, it's abusive. It's a cycle of abuse and should not be tolerated. But I totally understand being caught in that cycle of abuse and not being able to navigate

your way out. I have been there. Yes. But the thing is, if you see it for what it is, it becomes a little bit silly. Which when you're in it, by the way, you don't see it for what it is. Yes. You're questioning your sanity because somebody's telling you something that doesn't match to what your lived experience is. And that is like incredibly confusing. Yes.

And it's only with hindsight and then retrospect that you can gain some sense of normality or um yeah reality when things can start to get you know back to normal and you feel safe again but it is highly damaging yeah. It's really nice to take yourself out of it though I had like a confusing situation and then was with this person and they told me and their friends that I was shit at pool and terrible at remembering people's names and I was like both are so untrue that you must be a gaslighting motherfucker I'm out of here and that was quite good because it was I could have sat in that and been like how much shit at pool am I bad at remembering people's like no that's my

actual job so this is just gaslighting bullshit oh I'm I'm out of here. And that was quite freeing. I think when you see it for what it is, it becomes rather silly and quite weak. So don't worry about it. You remember what you remember. Never forget that. Also, can we have another question? Yes, also one more please.

Hi, Lillian Magida. My name's Gemma. I am originally from Essex, but now currently living about two hours north of sunny Sydney. My question for you is in regards to memories. I've lived in Australia now for 12 years and anytime we go back to England there's always a list of places that we want to go or see because the memories from last time were so good but then when we've gone back they've maybe not been as good

or maybe been better than what we remember. So my question for you is, is there anything that you've done that you thought was really good when you thought back on it, but actually once you've gone again, it's not been as good? Can I just say, I think this is a good time

to talk about people's obsession with making memories. It kills the experience. Like if you watch Kardashians, they're always like, you know, I just want to go and like make some memories. Like you're going to the like grocery shop, like everything doesn't have to be a moment of like made memories. And when I was reading Auntie's book, I was thinking, if not one, but any of these moments that happened, had anyone sitting around going, we're making a really good memory now. it just wouldn't be a good memory. Like, I hate that pressure on like making memories. It's so Instagram bollocks.

It's like, let's go have an experience and see what happens. It's also a lie because it isn't, you know, especially when people are at like concerts or whatever and they say that they are filming stuff because they're trying to create memories. It's like, no, you're not. You want engagement now. Yeah. Yes, quite. And so let's stop lying about it. If anyone is going to be like sitting at their computer in 10 years and it's just like, hang on, let me just go back and check out that Billie Eilish 25 seconds of really grainy footage that I got on my phone, just for the memories. It's like, no, no one is doing that ever. It's like, it's for now.

No. Actually, last night, I was taken out for a surprise by Natty, who I work with, but also she's my best friend. Not my best friend, that's who's sitting right in front of me. I'd say number four. Oh, wow. And she, no, she said, meet me at, she just said get in a cab when you've finished work, get someone to look after Zeddi and meet me at eight o'clock at North Greenwich station. I was like, where the fuck are we going? I thought we were going to the Greenwich Observatory to look at the stars. So I was quite disappointed when I realized we were going to the O2,

but we went to see Lauren motherfucking Hill. No way, how was it? Just, it was fantastic. I mean, she's such a bad man. Like she came out in like this like Phoebe Philo for Chloe era, like suit, like gray, big, wide slacks. And it's like fur coat, which she didn't take off the whole set.

I don't know how the fuck she managed it. Her hair's looking nice. YG was there, her son Zion was there. It was just, it was so beautiful. I never thought I'd hear those songs live, but it was amazing for me to like have that relationship with memory because we were talking about Miseducation and listening to it this summer. Just hearing

it live I was transported properly back to how I felt when I first heard those songs and I didn't want to take one picture. I didn't film anything. It's good. I didn't care. It was like I was like I have an hour with Lauryn Hill. Like, give that to me. It was beautiful. Thanks, Nettie. I really needed that. So I don't think that answered your question, but let's have another one.

Why not? Hi, this is Melissa from Toronto, Canada. Just wondering if either of you have ever had a perception of a time in your life, and then you discover, say say a journal or a letter or bump into someone indeed from that time in your life and they give you a completely different perspective. I had this happen to me recently when I reread journals from my 20s when I moved to Australia with a partner at the time.

It was very interesting to read about me, from my perspective in my 20s, and it was completely different from the very fond, fun memories that I thought I had. Oh, that's lovely, thank you. Lily, you journal? I don't really journal. I do morning pages, but that's different. That's what I'm saying?

No, it's not journaling. That's like stream of consciousness. Right, okay. So that would be quite interesting to read back in 20 years, I suppose. Not really. I mean, I read back to them sometimes and it's literally like, go to the shop,

buy some ham and some mozzarella. Right, okay. Not riveting stuff. There's a lot of avoidance actually, but I suppose my music is a little bit like that because they are sort of snapshots in time. However, I don't know if you got around to reading Rose Boyd's book, but she is my godmother and she wrote this book about her relationship with her dad, but also her sort of, you know, late teens and twenties

and maybe a little bit of her thirties. And I was talking to her about it and she, you know, she did journal and at the time, and she said that it was like absolutely fascinating because that what we were talking about earlier in the terms of like how she had reframed things for her own sort of mental safety versus what she felt about them when she went back to look at her journals. And she was like, oh yeah, actually, I've completely rewritten that. And as you said, it was really helpful,

but she didn't try and deny either one when she came to writing the book. She sort of would write both of them. Because both are true, yeah. I really wished we direed more I did start about two years ago but it was all very upsetting and depressing so I was like I don't this isn't a great time I don't really want to chronicle this but I think it's probably important to chronicle it all Barbara Streisand in her book she was like I wouldn't have been able to write

this if I didn't have my diaries I I was like, shit 40, is that a bit too late? I guess if I die at 80, I'd be starting halfway. Yeah. Luckily, I've always got the Daily Mail to remind me of what I got up to. Yeah. You've got your journal. Mail online. No, I'll get a quill and a notebook for both of us. We're going to start diarying our lives because we have new chapters starting. It's true. Ain't no time like the present to chronicle the rest of your life.

Thank you, Melissa. We will be diarying from now on. Thank you so much. We're starting that new chapter just as soon as we end this one. Quite. Which is gonna be now. And Makita, you are going to choose us a new subject matter for next week.

Oh yes, I have one. We were thinking about it and then our lovely friend, Charlotte Roberts, who has a new five month old baby, Vinnie. He loves, miss me. She loves to miss me all the time with him and she was like yes please do Mothers. So the next week's Listen Bitch theme is Mothers. The Mothers we have, the Mothers we are and the Mothers we may not be yet. Let's discuss it all. I'm actually really interested because when I talked about whether or not I wanted to

be a mum a few weeks ago, we had so many lovely messages of just people questioning things and asking me things and there was like, I don't want to be like for everyone that's been asking, but for all those like conversations that could have been had, let's have them now. And you can send your questions to us via WhatsApp in a voice note format. Yes please. To 08000 30 40 90. Lily what's that number?

That's 08000 30 40 90. Thank you. Are you excited to talk about mothers next week? Actually it doesn't matter, we're doing it. Can't friggin' wait. Okay, I have to go, because I've got to get on a plane to New York, but I love you.

Safe flight, guys. I love you, family. I'll see you on the other side. Thanks for listening to Miss Me with Lily Allen and Makita Oliver. This is a Persephoneca production for BBC Sounds. Brown girls do it too. With Lily Allen and Makita Oliver, this is a Persephoneca production for BBC Sounds. Brown girls do it too You know, for most brown people, sex chat is off the cards. Not us. We love talking about it.

From online dating to offline mating. I'm feeling fresh, you're feeling fresh. Let's get fresh. We're back with a new series of Brown Girls Do It Too. That is so specific. Hit honest, real, and thought-provoking conversations about one of the most pleasurable experiences our mothers could never talk about. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what you call a tease.

Brown Girls Do It Too. Listen on BBC Sounds. Life and death were two very realistic coexisting possibilities in my life. I didn't even think I'd make it to like my 16th birthday to be honest. I grew up being scared of who I was. Any one of us at any time can be affected by mental health and addictions. Just taking that first step makes a big difference. It's the hardest step. But CAMH was there from the beginning. Everyone deserves better

mental health care. To hear more stories of recovery visit CAMH.ca