Miss Me? - Say It Like You Meme It

Episode Date: December 4, 2025

Miquita Oliver and Jordan Stephens discuss memes, what makes them laugh, Christmas cards and trigger warnings.This episode contains very strong language and adult themes. Credits: Producer: Natalie Jamieson Technical Producer: Will Gibson Smith Assistant Producer: Caillin McDaid Production Coordinator: Rose Wilcox Executive Producer: Dino Sofos Commissioning Producer for BBC: Jake Williams Commissioners: Dylan Haskins & Lorraine Okuefuna Miss Me? is a Persephonica production for BBC Sounds

The following episode contains strong language, adult themes, themes of a sexual nature, and period pain. And PMS. This is the PMS episode. There's a PMS. That's not a trigger warning. That's an invitation. Women are like, oh, I'm listening to this. I'm listening to this.

Welcome to Miss Me. That's a dog called Zeggy. Ziggy. Oh my. I'm winding you up. It's like we don't even know each other. I know it's Zedi, but I have put Ziggy into my brain. I know a lot of people do that.

It's good. It's just raster energy, which is what I wanted. I'm trying to bring a bit of raster energy into my life today. I've just down some sea moss. Hey, listen, is there a better start to the day than downing sea sperm? Sorry, seamos. It is sperm-y. It is, and that's okay.

I get that, but don't you think that's interesting? Because isn't seamoss life? The sperm of the water. There's a really good rass to shop up the road. Like, I've actually got quite a few. Is it raw seymus? Yes, and then I make the gel. Oh.

Wait, you get the hard seamoss? Yes, and then you pour hot water over it. Bave it under the full moon's light. Oh, I forgot you. You're a witch. Yes. You go in the morning and it's gel. I understand.

Yeah. It's witchy shit. No, we've got to do the witchy vibes. Fuck yeah. But I really think we should also spread from the Caribbean black community to the rest of the world. The importance of seamos. I've been putting it in juices and stuff and I feel much better. I'm having quite a hard morning, but the seamoss is helping.

I feel it feeding me and nourishing me. Is it a difficulty you can share on Miss Me or no? Yes, a little thing we like to call PMS. Oh. And it's just, it just gets in your head. I've had just, it's not just like a physical feeling. I had cramps that were so bad last night. But luckily, Emily was here.

Em, come say hi to Jordan. Em, it's Emily, children. Was that a son-it? Yes, Somit. Oh my God, what's going on him? Yes. Yo. She sends you love.

Emily came to stay last night, which was really nice. She's a really old friend of ours, isn't she, Jordan? Yes. Very old school friend. And she helped me because I literally, was like keeled over in back pain and then today it was more negative thoughts and they just took over and

it's really hard sometimes to like be on screen when you're feeling such negative thoughts about yourself. I'm still behind you. She's still protecting you now. Is she? And get out of Miss me! Look at her! Still there! Oh, she's listening. Oh, she's listening. She is a really big Missing me fan. Oh, that's cool. So yeah, so today was a bit hard

but then I was like, at least it's just Jordan. At least I'm just chatting shit to Jordan. I think I can do that. I'm not here to stress you out. But I do have empathy. Jades actually. Can I say that? Jay's on her period now. She's bleeding. Yeah, yeah, she's having her period.

Yeah, she's not on PEMET. She hasn't got the premenstrual vibes. But what's so funny is, like, I said to her a day before she came on, I was like, you're being weird. But I don't know. In my head, in my head, like, now I feel obviously foolish for saying that. But like, I'm obviously just feeling the energetic shift. But I'm not always quick enough to be like, oh, it's because she's premenstrual.

Children, as a 41-year-old woman who's been having periods since they were 11, I still don't know it's that. I'm like, I just hate myself. And then you're like, oh, oh, God. I can't believe it. It's so mean. But it's fine. I'm not going to let it win today

because I had such a good week last week. I had the football tournament again and I was like, getting a bit resentful. I think this is when the PMS started and I was a bit like, I can't believe. I have to go to Elephant and Carson play fucking football. Like, I don't have time for this. And I was like, you do have time.

You've blocked it out every Wednesday for the next few months. you need to go with joy, commitment and courage. And I got so into the game. It turns out I'm very good at tackling. That's great. So, defence? Defence is great. Yeah, you've got tenacity, Keats.

You're a bit of bull terrier. Exactly. Yes, I felt tenacious on that fucking core. You used those hormones. You used those hormones. Did I use them from my power. Take them out, fucking throw them at people. I'm nutmeg.

I use them to nutmeg. Do you know what, though? This is actually something, I can say it's odd that you brought this up. I mean, it's not odd because obviously this is a monthly thing. But I mean, after we did the call to decide what we were talking about this episode. Yeah. I want to talk about that call for another reason later on her head.

What is it because I answered it so late? No, it's because you were spamming the group with memes. Oh, yes. Is that the system, like the country, our country and then the greater worldwide system's relationship with female health is. Fascinating to me, wild to me. Wild day. We've spoken about it before, when you last had the cramps,

I was speaking about me, you know, listening to like Nagamachetti and whatever and understanding that there's, like, serious or chronic pain that women are just expected to handle. But I did a bit of research, your faith. And I just realized the extent of it, like how little money is actually put into researching specifically female health.

And this is the mad bit that blew my mind. Even when they research on animals historically, they don't research on female animals because they can't account for the hormonal imbalances it's harder to create like a regulated experiment so loads of medication

is only ever experimented onto either a male animal or a male person because we have a more like a leveled out hormonal balance and also you can't fuck you and you're leveled out hormonal balance

well I don't even know but I don't yeah I don't know I think ours goes up and down in the day and I don't know enough about it I thought it was interesting because I think obviously I'm engaged on a lot of gender discussion and there's a lot of frustration that comes to that discussion and sometimes I just wonder how much sort of percentage of that frustration is just at the greater system. Well, yeah, like yesterday my cramps was so bad that I couldn't stand straight but there's no way

I would have ever asked for the day of work because of a period pain. Are you fucking joking? I mean, maybe I'd talk to Nat about it but I wouldn't ask Dino. Do you know what I mean? And also I'd think that you thought that I was being. really unprofessional if I said I can't do today I've got the worst hormonal imbalance and my back hurts not if you said cramps I wouldn't think that I definitely wouldn't think that I really want because there's a lot of things I want to fight for for boys and men I think the best way to

to equate that in a way where it doesn't feel like I'm negating the work towards women is that you know this is I think I think everybody men and women included would want to to have more funding towards women's self it is every it's like it dictates so much of the balance of the world. I don't know. Thank you. Obviously you, I guess you would agree. I think I agree.

No. No, I would fucking agree. There is a silent understanding, I suppose, between women that you sort of do just, it's something you have to go through that you've always been going through, but we're going through for so long that there is so much acceptance in it. But there is sort of a kind of cross to bear energy. And the whole, just the kind of consistency. There's probably only about a week where you're not dealing with something period related

in a month. So the ratio is quite fucked up because it's like, I've been dealing with this since last Thursday and I'm still not even on my period. But anyway, I can't believe my period's got this much.

No, but I think it's important because I think that like there'll be so many things through history interpersonally that could be solved with more understanding of like what can be shifted and changed. I'm thinking about this for my own life,

you know, my own engagement with the world. You know what I mean? Yeah, and who knows you also might have a girl when you have a child and you'll be raising a year. young woman and knowledge about this is no joke when you're raising a little girl.

I know a lot of dads who got really freaked out when their kids have had their periods. Really? Yeah, and how they relate to their daughters. A hundred percent. I mean, and also just to talk largely about hormones as well, because I mean, that would be something I'd have to, of course, get my head around. But even seeing it with the young men, young boys in my life as well, the shift from like, hey, how are you doing to like, so it's wild.

Like it's monosyllabic incella being Have you seen it? Have you seen that shit before? You must have. Loads of times. And I could probably saw it with you and Kane. No, no, no, no. No, I mean like as an adult, watching a child become a teenager is something to behold.

I want to talk about this meme thing, you fucking idiot. We had this meeting and Jordan went very quiet and suddenly just started setting the most stupid shit to the group. I think it was a haters gonna hate

Arthur. The point is Jordan thinks memes are hilarious. Yes, I know. And I think you're better than that. That's my point. The memes?

Well, because there's this thing called memetics. I love, okay, you've done a research game on memes. I'm here, I'm listening. Classes in session. Well, actually, this was just silly. He started talking to me about it. And he was like, yeah, but memes are based on memetics.

And I was like, what's that? Hang on. Sounds like a blag. Mometics, living linguistics. Okay. Memetics is a theory of cultural evolution that applies Darwinian principles to the transmission of information,

ideas and behaviours. That makes a meme sound quite interesting. Wow. Yeah, yeah. Sorry, I'm just, I was similarly looking up the memetics. This is coined by Richard Dawkins in 77. And he says, a meme is a unit of culture.

So ideas, catchphrases. Yeah. Unit of culture. Ways of making pots or building arches. What? Yeah, brilliant. I would definitely watch someone build an arch. I'd be more into that.

But I realise that why I don't like memes is because I don't like jokes. I don't like being told jokes. I feel that they're quite pressure-filled. I love a funny story. What the fuck he's talking about? So like Simon Amstall is my best friend So I've seen him do a lot of stand-up Luckily he's hilarious

But stand-up gives me the hebi-jibis There's a lot of pressure I find it exhausting to pretend to laugh for an hour And nothing makes me laugh for an hour consistently Nothing makes anyone laugh for an hour consistently Who's that guy? Gary Shindling Have you heard of him? Old school like American like comedians comedian

But just the reason it came to mind is It's not Gary Shandling from the Gary Shandling show. Okay, the show is actually called the Larry Sander's show, but it is Gary Shandling who created it? Yeah, and he did this really clever thing where they did, like, they filmed the process of making a chat show

and it was all behind the scenes, but it's like a kind of documentary. It's very clever. I saw him, like, completely, mentally, like, deconstruct Ricky Jervais. It was fascinating to watch. Ricky Jervais turns up to interview him, and he basically completely understands the formula

that Ricky Jervais uses for comedy and just flips it back on him. So does he deconstruct him in kind of a negative way or like, I know what you're about? He just, Ricky can't get one over on him. He just constantly controls the, at one point in the interview, he just stands up for no reason. And then Ricky Jervais stands up and he goes, yeah.

You know, like it's just those kind of things. But my point with him is that he said that his greatest, his greatest accomplishment as a comedian would be to go on stage and for no one to laugh for an hour and a half and for him to go home. Okay, so they should love him. themselves within that kind of worst case scenario shit.

Yeah, he just doesn't want people to laugh. I just don't like being told jokes and I feel like every time certain people send me a meme, it's their version of telling me a joke that I have to find funny. So I have to send a laughing emoji back even though I don't think it was funny. But the meme is always in response, no.

You don't just start with a meme, do you? No. The people that send me memes, like, What do you mean? My mum. She doesn't... What do you mean? She doesn't... What do you mean

We already came up with yesterday I was like, that's too good What do you mean That's a pun, that's a full of joke Yeah, I don't mind a pun Sometimes, when Lily does them I like them but I hate like the sun Or the mirror puns

I like a smart pun I love words, you know I love words You love words But memes are a bit like catchphrase Like say what you see It's just shit I'm confused as to the memes you're receiving Like, can you give me an example?

Okay, that's the last one I got. So your mum just starts conversations with memes. That's a good bit of, that's some funny Miss Me trivia. I get a lot of like, like, Seb sent me one with Robin Williams in a fucking wake the other day from Mrs. Doubtfire. And it was like, bitch go down or something. In what context? There is never any context. Hang on, here we go.

Sorry, this is more interesting to me that like people are sending you memes for no reason with no context. That's crazy to me. Is this a short video or a meet, like I'm confused. Well, what's the fucking difference? Well, a meme's a gif. It's like a, it's like a good. No, no, a gif is something different because I have someone who's sending me gifts at the moment. I was quite at this.

That's what I put in a group was gifts. Oh, they're gifts. Yeah, they're technically, they're now called, wait, I'm confused on what a meme is now. What do you think a meme is? No, it says no one. And then it says Jesse J. And it's a picture of Robin Williams from Mrs. Doubtfire. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that is a meme.

It's the bob cut for me. That's shit. Yeah, yeah, I love that. I hate this shit. Sorry, you're right, you're right. So what I put in a group is like a GIF meme. That's the internet meme. You're right.

Okay, so the meme is the umbrella. That's even better. That is the greatest ever. This is the shit I hate. No, it's brilliant. It's absolute. You know what it is? We know what I love about it.

It's absurd. It's truly absurd. No, it's not. See, for me, it's more. or like, I'm mad me. Or like, isn't this random for the sake of being random? I don't think it's absurd enough.

Sorry, you don't think it's absurd that somebody has sat there, found a video of Mrs. Doubtfire, pasted over a vocal recording of Jesse Jay and then posted it on the internet. You think that's absurd. Tell me what the point is. Why does it say it's the Bob Cup for me?

Because they're saying Robin Williams in Mrs. Doubtfire in that scene looks like Jesse Jay. Yeah, that's the joke. See, that's not funny. Yeah, it's not funny. You, it's fine. Keep it moving. Some memes aren't funny. Okay, good. That's quite good. Keep it moving.

Lily sends me memes. But these aren't memes. These are like 12 minute videos that she thinks are hilarious from top to bottom. And I have to sit and watch them with her. Or she'll send them to me. Those I find really stressful. But what's the vibe though? Usually like someone doing some shit dance. Oh, so it's like a compilation of funny TikToks. Yes. Yeah, brilliant. That's brilliant.

That's brilliant. You and Lily can send this shit to each other. Thanks. Yeah, but obviously. Obviously, Lily would be on that vibe. Obviously, it's so satisfying to the dopamine. I think Lily's smarter than that. I prefer like a witty David Mitchell review in the new review in The Observer on a Sunday. That's where I get my kicks.

I can't stand the fact that you don't, you actually down stand up as an entirety. Like you're telling me you've never laughed at a stand-up. Like when I watched the Eddie Murphy documentary, let's not get into it again. But I did, I thought, yes, Some of this raw stuff was fucking brilliant. And there's one Chris Rock joke I like, but no.

Chris Rock is funny. Chris Rock is funny. He's got a whole style of delivery. Yeah, and Phoebe Oliver lives for Dave Chappelle. Dave Chappelle's fun. Well, he was funnier. Was funnier, wasn't he? Yeah, I saw him live, but he used to be really funny.

But it's interesting, what makes one laugh. Like, I like knowing what makes me laugh. And I love that it is sort of witty repartee. I do quite like that. That's really interesting, because me and Jade, actually. have very different like comedic preferences and sometimes it crosses over

yeah but it's actually more time very different and I've almost almost got what I think makes her laugh like obviously

camp helps with Jade camp helps okay yeah but like I like I think we meet with absurd but I've also got the whole other thing that I like

I think I wouldn't be able to describe I think what what makes you laugh I don't know what I don't know how I would describe what the style of it you know what I'm saying

I love really precise but abstract observations. Oh, that's good. Yeah, that shit I like too. So the other day, I watched a clip online of a guy saying that astrology is worse than racism. And I was like, already I'm in. I'm in from, it's such an absurd statement.

I'm in, right? And then he explains it and it makes sense, Keats, what he's saying? Worse than racism. Yes, because he's saying, go on. No, you tell me. No, I want your idea. I want your idea first.

No, where he starts this from Because I would say that there's, there's, we're talking, astrology is sort of talking about like the kind of magical setup of the universe It's sort of the opposite of racism Because it's where like ideas were first It's more discriminatory. That's his point and it's funny.

How can astrology be discriminatory? Because he says where people who believe It's literally for everyone. Okay, do you know somebody who says they would refuse to date a Gemini? Oh, right, that shit. And he says that the vigour The vigour of which people

Will cut to people out of their lives Based on an astrological sign It surpasses People's dishonesty towards their race I actually said to someone the other day What's your star sign and they went blah blah And I said I'm blah and he went Now what

And I was like, yeah, good point Now what And it's like yeah fair enough What does it really mean? No but I know people man They'll say like if that person's like a Leo sign I ain't chatting to them They'll just say it like

But when we're talking about astrology, I thought you meant like the moon and the stars. I guess that's astronomy. Astronomy, yeah. Okay. Can I say, quickly with me, so I want a miss me spin-off

or maybe a listen bitch, like a little bit at the end of a listen bitch. Or maybe next listen bitch we can get people to send in their favorite memes and we have to watch you, watch them. Oh, fuck off. You will laugh.

No, I can't think of anything worse. No, I won't. Do you know what, I'll do? I'll fake laugh because of all the pressure. Have you ever watched Bill Hicks stand up? Yes. He's all right. He's quite.

Bill Hicks, all right. Okay. What about something more politically charged? Reading things make me laugh, usually more than someone standing on stage, telling jokes. Okay. You laugh from the written word because you can pair it with your own imagination. You can read it in your own voice. I suppose so.

Okay. That is what makes me laugh. But I will look into it a bit more, like, what really cracks me the fuck up? Do you know what really makes me laugh? when my mum is hysterical, is hysterically laughing? When she's laughing, yeah. Your mum's got an amazing laugh. The sound of my mum.

She has an amazing laugh. She also gets quite teary, so does my nan. When my nan laughs, her eyes water, and they both. It's just so, it's just the sound of joy, actually, my mom, my nan. I love physical laughter as well. I love when people, like, they say this is maybe like a culturally black thing, which is interesting, but I mean, I do it, I don't know. but like if something's unbelievably funny

I'll actually leave the room Yes I'll pause the telly I'll stop the telly No hang on You're not ready for why What do you mean It's really scary

No Makita don't you fucking ruin What do you mean Have you said this I missed me before No I saw it the other day And do you know what I actually think it was Fucking meme

But the reason that black people Run when they laugh Is because we weren't allowed To be heard laughing There is science to support generational trauma, but it's not that specific part of it. The concept of generational trauma is supported by scientific evidence, though conclusive proof in humans is still being studied. That's why we, I think that's why we also clasped our hands over our mouth. It's just interesting to know the origins.

It's not why now, but it shows how much. I mean, look, one thing we know for sure is that there is a case to say that it's more of a black thing. And that is fundamentally interesting. If there is a generational, like, genetic reason, which they're saying then it's not, by the way, but if the cultural thing is like a passed on, that's fascinating. It's ancestral trauma.

Okay, so now we're going to talk about trigger warnings. Yeah, okay. You know, because ancestral trauma could be one. Yeah, yeah. The following show contains strong language, themes of a textual nature and ancestral trauma. See, that's what I'm saying. So we have to say, and I think it, we,

both agree and our team agree and obviously the BBC but it's very important to explain that there are uncomfortable things preempt preempt people's you know pre-worn yeah and I understand that like if there was two people talking about for instance something like trip phobia which is so nuanced and strange and we have talked about it please let's not talk about that I don't want ironically leave the room that did make me leave the room okay but if that was if that had just come up but do you know what I watch TV every day and there's always something I'm And I don't say shit and there's things a bit like it everywhere

and I have to protect myself. That I find very difficult. But an uncomfortable conversation, I just believe, I'm so happy that we have something like Miss Mia where we can have these conversations about absolutely everything. And I do understand that people need to be protected

but I think that there are some things we should be uncomfortably listening to in life to discover things. I think some of the most uncomfortable things I've had to watch or listen to in my life have taught me greatly, greatly about the world. around me. I didn't want to know

about slavery when I was a kid. I don't want to fucking see that shit. I don't think there would there be a trigger warning actually about slavery? I mean, I know I used that to... Well, what I'm saying is I didn't know anything about it and then I think I watched a film. Oh, that's your equivalent.

Yes. Yeah, I watched a film with my nan. Yeah, that's a really good point. You have trigger warnings for things like adult themes and swearing, but you don't have a trigger warning for a tiny black child watching a film about racism. Absolutely no. But thank God, because if they'd said,

this has um and it's also the film wasn't about racism it was just about the south and it was like whoa why people being lynched nanny what is that um and also when i had to watch the um the underground railroad because i was doing this like amazon podcast to accompany it coming out and we had to me and you know that lady deserre she's like a comedian mixer is really great that's it we had to dissect each episode so i had to watch this series and i found it it it wasn't just uncomfortable It was brutal and gave me nightmares and I had to watch it with mum and I had to hold her hand.

What happens in Underground Railway? I don't know what happens. Oh, God. You know, it's about, no, it's an incredible book about the Underground Railroad that people say existed to help enslaved Africans move across America in safety.

You know, but we're talking about the slave hunters and there's an incredibly difficult scene but I just had to watch this and we should all know the brutality of enslavement because it's fucking. real and it affects us all but they like murder this young black girl in like a church ceremony and

she's wearing a iron muzzle fucking hell the fuck yeah because it was it's not just about enslavement it's about dehumanizing us as people and i had to see that brutality to really fucking understand what my ancestors went through and it was uncomfortable and i'm not saying every miss me episode goes there but i think it's important that sometimes we do and i don't want to protect everyone all the time from that is one. Yeah, I hear it. It's interesting. You know, I feel, I think it's probably good for us to have some kind of balance in

terms of, I think I agree with you. But I do, for the sake of argument, get why there's a case for a trigger warning. Obviously, with radio, for example, we know that there's no real way of controlling who's listening to something. So that's often the thing. It's not necessarily about the individual person. It's like, are they actually listening to this podcast with a child? do think there are some things that we should protect children from because they don't have

the context to understand or it's too soon or whatever else. I do kind of think that. But the other thing is, look, I've been obviously in situations in my life where I've lost people, I've lost someone to, you know, like severe mental health issues and stuff like that. And after that, I do remember really struggling to watch telly because there were so many jokes about that stuff. And I don't think. I would, the question is, like, would I have been happier knowing when to turn the channel? Because I was also, I was also trying to protect someone else. And so, you know, I guess, you know, like, for the sake of argument, maybe if I had seen

someone say, you know, the following stand-up routine or the following, whatever, contains themes of whatever, I would have been like, okay, maybe, maybe during this quite fresh kind of grief period, you know, we'll avoid that. But equally, like, like you say, you know, it is a part of life, like all of these really difficult things are part of life and we are going to confront them one way or another. I guess the question is, are people entitled to a space where they don't have to engage in something with the belief that at one point they will? I know that I look for spaces of complete pasteurisation and coddling and it's called

the summer I turn pretty. I know you watch it too and it's like, what are me and that looking for there? I'm not looking to be challenged and I'm not looking to feel anything other than hell right, right, right, right. But this, Miss Me's not that. So your thing is, you should have an idea

really of the context anyway. So like if you're going to watch a particular comedian or if you're listening to a particular podcast, your understanding of them should ultimately inform whether or not you're in the right place to listen to that shit. Yeah, because for instance, like for me, like it's hard to talk about some of the stuff we talk about

but I know that Miss Me is a safe space. for me and people that listen to it. So that's why I know I can even be as honest as I am. And I want people to feel safe here, but it doesn't mean that it's a part, like, you know, that everything's going to be kind of tempered and pasteurized. Don't worry, don't worry. We'll get this out the way.

Now we've got four weeks of Christmas chat. We'll just talk about sausages and reindeer. For anybody worried about trigger warnings, the only triggering will be clearly for vegans, I think, and you just jump into sausages straight away. So after kind of dissecting and discussing why we don't want to pacify our audience by spoon feeding them baby food, we're going to have a break and then come back and tour our Christmas cards. I do not have baby food. Just not in my content, okay?

See you after the break. Welcome back to Miss Me, the prelude to your Christmas energy, if you will, even though half of my block. seem to have Christmas trees now, I'm still holding out. I'm edging, Jordan. Not going to let myself have this beautiful Christmas orgasm yet. I'm going to edge for one more week and then when you come back, you better believe I'll be in a Christmas extravaganza. You're edging Christmas, fascinating. Okay, let's talk about Christmas cards. I like sentimentality and as I previously discussed, I love words. So I feel like a Christmas card or a card of any, kind is the perfect meeting

of two. I get told how much I'm loved by someone. I feel cradled and nurtured by their words and I feel like they've had to push themselves to really get quite poetic in a short space because the card's not that big. So you have to really think about the structuring of your love

message, as it were. Like I love you. Yeah. Love you, Makita. It's been a beautiful year. Like from your team. Don't you get that from your manager? My book agent sends me a diary. Oh, right. They send me a diary for the new year. That's very sweet, yeah.

I know that you've... I'm grinchy. Yeah, this is a little grinchy who's still Christmas cardy. No, no, look, I'm not... I struggle with post, generally. Fuck off. I went bankrupt. If anyone struggles with post, it's me.

Because they said you let us... Because you didn't check people telling you that you were bankrupt. Yeah, correct, exactly that. Yes, well, I've also got myself in trouble with that in the past, with parking tickets, etc. But, so I struggle with post for sure, especially now I'm like, dude, just email me like you're taking the piss in it the other thing is i like heartfelt messages in specifically heartfelt scenarios but i struggle logically with the idea that with the idea of a christmas card comes yeah let's say three nice messages that people have written and then let's be honest

97 other cards that are just like wishing you a happy xmas merry christmas from thingy like you just wasted cardboard. You just waste the cardboard. There's no fucking point. There's no point. There's not either you're putting a funny picture on the front that I can look at and it'll make me smile. Yeah. Or there's no point. You just have the cards up on the thing and then they just go and they get recycled like literally two weeks

later. Birthday cards, I'll keep for life. If someone's written me a beautiful message in a birthday card, I'll keep that. Okay, good. You do keep those. But I suppose there is this kind of like, like, with something like Christmas, it's like, if you thought about it in that way, like, it's only for three weeks. Why are we bothering to put up a tree? Like, or why would we bother decorating this thing

that we're going to take down. It's like, it's not the point. The point is to dive in for that time. So if you've got 50 Christmas cards, you get a bit of string. You get a little paper hole cutter and you string them off across your sitting room. I'm like, that's part of it.

That's what people do. They string all the cards up, yeah. Yeah, not for me. Or you put them all up on the mantel piece. But there is this idea of kind of like, it is going to all be gone in a few weeks. So with the knowledge of that, I love how much people still get into it.

But I like, the fest, I understand, I mean, maybe you're saying that Christmas cards are included in that, but look, I would, if it was done to me, I would also have like an unconventional approach to the trees as well. I, you know, I don't think there should be a massive pressure to specifically have a Christmas tree, but. Right. Well, you wouldn't be arguing with me. You'd be arguing with Prince Albert. But a tree, putting up a tree and putting the bubbles on a tree is something that can be done communally. It can be a part of it, putting a star on a tree. It's like a ritualistic thing. Do you know what I mean? And then the lights that are put across the whole of the city and the

country, the whole point of Christmas is to bring light into the darkest part of the year. Oh, you're so sweet. One more thing about Prince Albert, because he's the reason we have Christmas cards. Sorry, just really quickly. Cards? Yeah, Christmas trees. No, and cards, brough, because the first Christmas card was Sir Henry Cole, who was a British civil servant, and that was in 1843. And he was commissioned. to make it under the direction of the VNA. Who built the V&A? Albert, the Victoria and Albert Museum.

He brought us so much culture and Christmas cards. We've got to say thank you. Charles Dickens as well, apparently. They were teaming up for this Christmas ship. It is Prince Albert, Victoria's husband. And it was in 1848, there was a picture in the paper of Victoria, Albert, and then nine children around this tree gazing up at it that had been decorated.

And everyone was like, the fuck is that. I want to do that. Anyway, look, like, just to sum it up, I can... Sum it up, get ready for a big old Christmas cut for me that says nothing but best wishes. If you don't write something hard about it, there was the fucking point, or at least design it,

or do a silly picture of you and Zeddy. Oh, okay, then. I'll just design something. Okay, no, no, no. I let me think about what I would actually give you that I know you'd want to receive. A funny Christmas picture, that Merry Christmas from the Oliver's or whatever.

I'll be jokes. Groomie and Misha a few years ago. They did them and Stinky and Pick. And that was a fucking cute Christmas card. Do you enjoy your Christmas card? You must with Mimi and Spike. No, but I think she really wants to at least take the photograph. We've got two dogs for fuck sake.

Come on. I'm pretty sure she's bought them fucking Christmas fucking pyjamas or some fucking shit. Yes. I really hope that's true. We're going away from Christmas for Listen, bitch. We're going to hair. Great. Because Jordan couldn't even believe we'd never done hair.

Hair today, gone tomorrow. No, we're not calling you that. I think I said it last week. I think it's quite good. I think I said it last week at the exact same time. Oh my God. We will see you on Monday, follows a bitch.

See you then. Bye Jordan. Me and Mom are going to a soup. By the way, I just want to say me and mom going to a soup kitchen this weekend. So I do understand in the generosity of spirit

and to nurture others. Come on. Love that. We have so much now. We must give to others. Shut out. We all have so much. Let's go.

Thank you. Love you. I love you. Bye. Bye. Thanks for listening to Miss Me. This is a Percephonica production for BBC Sounds. Ever wondered what's really going on

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