Miss Me? - Turn It Off

Episode Date: April 17, 2025

Lily Allen and Miquita Oliver discuss racism, Katy Perry in space, and the new comedy show Last One Laughing UK.This episode contains very strong language and adult themes. Credits: Producer: Flossie Barratt Technical Producer: Will Gibson Smith Assistant Producer: Caillin McDaid Production Coordinator: Hannah Bennett Executive Producers: Dino Sofos and Ellie Clifford Assistant Commissioner for BBC: Lorraine Okuefuna Commissioning Editor for BBC: Dylan Haskins Miss Me? is a Persephonica production for BBC Sounds

BBC Sounds music radio podcasts. This episode of Miss Me contains very strong language and adult themes as always. Hi. Happy Easter. Happy Easter. Jesus has risen. That is what it's about, right, actually. Let's just say, as we're in the week of Easter, this is the principal festival of the Christian church which celebrates the resurrection of Jesus Christ on the third day after His crucifixion.

How have you been celebrating? I don't really do Easter. I mean, I suppose I did when the kids were little, I'd celebrate by dressing up as a bunny and hiding eggs around the garden. Actually, I really miss that, like doing Easter egg hunts. And we had some when we were kids. I remember mom doing some in like Power Square for us, but now she just doesn't adhere to it at all. As someone that loves cooking, I was like, you can just make lamb and invite people around. But she's just like, no, don't like this celebration. So we're not celebrating Easter in my house at all,

now that I'm living with my parents. It's funny for a country that sort of considers itself so religious and Christian, the United States of America, they, well, at least my kids' school doesn't have a Easter holiday. They have the day off for Good Friday, but they don't have Easter holiday. They have spring break a couple of weeks earlier. Oh, right. Oh, right. Because we get Easter holidays and half term, right? Quite near each other. Yeah, I guess so. All the mothers I know at the moment are just like, there are too many holidays in this

part of the year. Right. It gets very half termy, very Easter holidays. I don't know what I would have done without my Easter holidays when I was a kid. It's one of my favorite breaks. Oh, I wish my kids didn't have to go to school at all. I just miss them when they're at school at the moment. I'll just take them out of school.

It's actually really contentious. I just miss them when they're at school. I'll just take them out of school. It's actually really contentious. Phoebe took the kids out for a few days because she was like moving house and they like letters the day off. I was like, oh my God. If it was more than two days, yes, more than 48 hours and you're fined. How would you bunk? I don't know. How are Ethel and Marnie ever gonna bunk?

They're too goody two-shoes-y to bunk, my girls. It does seem hard. Although I hear like the statistics in the UK for the amount of children that didn't go back to school after Covid is really, really high. There's a lot of children not- People homeschooling their children voluntarily. Yeah, I think so. And also just like dropped out. Yeah, when you see a change in the way things can be, you can do whatever you want. I'd love to see some figures

if somebody in the research office could quickly get me some numbers on that. That would be great. While we wait for that, it's time to talk about the football. What a game. Oh God, really? What game?

That was good. That was a good fake excited face. Listen, obviously football is more than football. In this country, it is a cultural behemoth of a beast that will not be tamed or, you know, killed. And I play for that team. I love football. And when a game like this comes on TV. It's a relatively new thing for you though, liking football. I remember like when I used to like football, as in I was a season ticket holder of Fulham and would go every weekend, you were not remotely interested.

No, not at all. I didn't have a childhood in football. And I think that's because the part of London I grew up in because in West London, like Jessie and Crockett, like boys don't talk about football. And not like Jessie wasn't like, I'm QPR. Like no one cared. It wasn't brought up. But in North London and East London, that's when I started liking football when I moved to East London. And it kind of runs through the men and the boys I was spending time with.

And just people, in a way it just doesn't in Notting Hill. Don't know why. And then when I started going out with someone when I was about 28, that's when I got really into Arsenal. And I am an Arsenal fan, but I don't really go that much anymore because I've been so busy. But I love going to the football. I was thinking about today, you did go quite a lot when we were kids with Alfie and Keith,

right? No, not with Alfie. Alfie was an Arsenal fan and my dad and me were Fulham fans. And so it was very much a way for me to try and form a relationship with my dad and do something sort of relatively consistent. So... Nice. Did it work? Did it give some consistency? Yeah. Yeah, it did for a few years. It was nice. It's funny. I think I've mentioned it before on this podcast, but I really feel like, you know, football or spectator sports can be a real vehicle for men to express their

emotions and their feelings. Yeah. That was a real example of that this game because I mean Arsenal doing beautifully at the moment anyway, but this was Arsenal playing Real Madrid at home at Emirates in the Champions League. Okay. This game though, it was Saka's first time back on the pitch since his injury last year. Did I tell you that my mum and Saka's dad are like text friends?

You did not tell me that, but that's good to know. Yomi, he's called, Yomi Saka. And I don't know how they got in touch, but they are in touch. Mum was gonna send Saka some food to heal him. Oh. But I don't think she actually did. So she can't take any credit for the healing of soccer.

But he's back on the pitch. Really nice to have him back. And the first half was quite dull, but it was a bit spicy energy because it's a Champions League game. But it was a little dull. And then we come back. And so Declan Rice does two free kicks and just curves them into the net. Like in succession.

Like I think they're both in the same 10 minutes. They're calling it Bend It Like Becklin. Is that his name, Becklin? His name is Declan. Okay. Okay, work with me. Stay with me, won't you? Why don't they just say Bend It Like Declan?

Cause I don't know whether you'd know it was about the Beckham thing. I think you'd have to be pretty moronic not to get that. That wasn't me. I think that was Alan Shearer, whoever was commentating. Bend it like Beckland. He just twisted it in. Oh, it was glorious.

And then you think it's all over. And then like what, three minutes before the end, Mikel Mourinho comes in, does a third, everyone goes nuts. It's just like, I was watching it with Zee and Garfield and Nanny, and I was like, you cannot, you just can't write this kind of jeopardy, this kind of anticipation and this kind of drama. It is why football will always live on television, like outlive all of us.

It will be the greatest entertainment on television till the end of time, because you cannot write that kind of unpredictability and that kind of moments of glory. Oh my God, I just, I felt quite emotional. I was like, I fucking love football. I really do. Cause it's a very uniting, unifying cultural thing

in this country, which is quite strange because if you think about race in this country and you know how hidden and sort of prevailing racism actually still is all around the country. Football seems to be a place where there's real like a celebration of the unity and the unifying of black and brown and Asian and white people coming together to play this sport together from all different countries for one team and find glory. But then of course you have that duality of the darkness of racism coming up so vehemently with so much vicious rage when it does come out. I mean the way those boys were treated a few years ago,

Sacko and Marcus Rashford and everything, it was just upsetting. Yeah, I mean, it's interesting for me to hear you say this because I feel like when I grew up, you know, sort of, I felt like sort of football spectatorship like and hooliganism, you know, and racism, overt racism kind of went hand in hand. So it seemed like a really predominantly like, you know, white, working class male, past time, and that there were, you know, a lot of people, minorities and women that were on the receiving end of these men being, you know, downing pints for 90 minutes, you know?

And the hours bookending, you know, those 90 minutes as well. Are you talking about like the 90s? Yes, I'm talking about the 90s, but even more so like the 70s and the 80s, you know. I mean, I wasn't around then, obviously, but like, you know, Millwall fans and, you know, and West Ham, you know, it was, it seemed like quite central to what was, what was going on then. Yeah, definitely. I mean, the thing is, I'm just trying to think now, because I don't know whether what decade all this kind of racial integration started happening within football in this country, because the 90s, it was just, it was a mixed game.

You would see black, brown, white faces all over every team. I think in the 70s, it was a very different thing. It was very much like, you know, what's he called? Fitty Bum, George Best. Mm-hmm. Greg, the one that always wore short shorts. I don't know that many 70s British football players, but I feel like they were all white.

George Cohen, maybe he's 60s. I don't know. That's good Lil though. Yeah, yeah, very good. And then of course the 90s looked very different, but there is still so much racism within this sport, but then there is all this love for the players that bring home the glory for your team. So it's very confusing. I don't know where the racism is put, I don't know what side it's put to when the football starts, and then they pick it right back up again when something goes wrong that they're not pleased with that they feel a black player did. When I say them, I mean people who indulge in racism. Well, yeah, people that indulge in racism. It's like, you know, I will tolerate people of a different colour to me when I benefit from it,

which is when that person is scoring goals. But as you've seen, when it goes the other way and, you know, a person of colour, you know, misses a penalty, they get it 10 times worse than a white player would. There's always a sort of racial undercurrent in terms of the abuse that they receive for playing not well. Bloody racism. Bloody fucking racism. God, God, racism, good old racism. I experienced it actually in my life last week.

I don't think I really experienced that very often anymore. So it took me back to a very old, young child feeling like when I used to go to my Nan's in Berry. I went to a doctor's appointment and then I left and it was a sunny day and I suddenly thought, oh, I could, I think I've got the day off. I could just go for a walk. I was enjoying my day so much and there was a quaint tea shop, which for some reason I was a bit nervous about going inside.

I was like, don't be ridiculous. It's only Harrow on the Hill and it's a tea shop, which for some reason I was a bit nervous about going inside. I was like, don't be ridiculous. It's only Harrow on the Hill and it's a tea shop. And I went in and the lady, it was a white woman running the shop. And as soon as I walked in, she stood up, moved to me, like came straight up to me and said, how can I help you? What can I help you with? And I said, oh, I've seen that you have soup. And I was wondering what kind of soups you have today and she seemed

just very bothered by me. She told me they had broccoli. I said I'd have that to take away. I was trying to touch her hand for something I can't remember like she wouldn't want she didn't want me anywhere near her. She then asked me to wait in a corner by the window as far away from all the people that were eating and I thought this is not maybe just where they let the takeaway people come. And then a young sort of, no, 35 year old white man came in who she didn't know. And she just, the atmosphere changed. Hello, darling, you're all right. How can I help you, sweetheart?

Yeah, what can I get you? And then she sort of gave him a big pat on the back. Like, have a good day, darling. Yeah, you do well out there. And I suddenly thought, oh, it's racism. It's totally fucking racism. And the thing about racism is it's so stupid and kind of illogical that it takes a minute for you to remember that it's that stupid, illogical thing

that still has the ability to go right into my heart and make me feel like a monster and feel confused and scared and apologetic of my existence. So I just tried to get the hell out there. I waited for my soup and then I asked for a spoon which she didn't have and I felt the fact that she didn't have something that this person she believed to be beneath her disgusting whatever her racism, however her racism lies within her. I felt like she was annoyed that I asked for something that she didn't have so she got really infuriated and I just left. And the soup was fucking delicious as well.

Can I just ask in those instances, do you, is your instinct to make yourself smaller, to be more appealing to that person? Or do you just wanna get out of there? Is it like, fuck them, I can see what you're doing, not taking it, not tolerating it, goodbye? It's a journey. The first thing I did was try and make her like me by being extra polite and tried to show her that,

I don't know, you know what I mean? What am I trying to show her? Show her that I'm okay. Not that you're okay in yourself, but that you're okay and that you're safe for her. Not safe for her, that I'm someone that's okay to, like, it's okay that I exist. And that is like, what on earth would I, how would I solve whatever reason this woman feels like she doesn't want me in her shop or near her? This is so ingrained and old for the people that feel this way that there is just,

I think there's a feeling of helplessness in yourself which turns to deep, dark exhaustion of just like, the heaviness of all, suddenly it's like the heaviness of all racism throughout all the years suddenly just is back for a minute. And you're just like, I can't take it, can't hold it. What do you think would be the, because I mean I just feel like, you know, there's so much going on in the world where, you know, people are interacting with each other and there's just so much lack of communication and so much that goes on unsaid. How do you think someone like that

would react if you were like, sorry, is there an issue here? I'm just picking up a vibe of like, that for some reason you don't want me in your establishment. Utter defense. In a non-aggressive way. Doesn't matter, utter defense. No, I don't have a problem with you.

What, why would you, I don't have a problem with you. Yeah. It would get like that, aggy. And I don't have it in me to try and like solve her. Yeah. And why should you? I'm just I'm not I'm not I'm not suggesting that it's your responsibility to do that. I just wonder if there is if there's like a language or something. I mean, that's what that's where the exhaustion comes little because it's just like also I live in London. Yeah, in a part of London that doesn't, that I don't experience racism in.

So when it comes up, it's like this like weird old like ghost at the feast. It's like, oh, fuck, oh, God, I forgot about that. But when I was younger, my mom is from Suffolk. My mom suffered horrific abuse and racism throughout the 70s in Suffolk and took us immediately to Portobello Road to raise us. But when I went back to nannies in the summer, me and Phoebe experienced this thing called racism for the first time when we were like 10. That's quite an- No, I remember. I remember you'd come back from those weekends and you'd talk about it and it was horrible. It was horrible to hear.

So I just, I think it's really important that we just remember that it still fucking exists and that like everything's not all sold and actually it's still really hard to be a black person or a brown person in this country sometimes. Yeah. And imagine this is my home. I'm from like four tube stations down from where this lady looked at me like this. I just wish that things were more fair, you know, I just wish that, you know, people from lower income families and people of color and minorities had,

you know, better opportunities and it, and that the power imbalance wasn't so prevalent. Yeah. That is the solution because it's all about power. Yes. I'm really, only Miss Me can do it. We've sold racism. I don't really don't think we have. I said we couldn't do it, but we've done it. We're gonna have a little break because that was quite hard work solving racism. It's gone on for quite a while.

And the BAFTA for solving racism goes to Miss Me. That award show I will go to. I will take that award. No, we're going to have a little break and we will see you right after it. Welcome back to Miss Me. We solved racism in the first half, which isn't everyone relieved? Isn't everyone relieved? Who knew? Can't you feel an atmosphere change? But I would like to talk about comedy and racism because Just gonna segue this right

We're gonna keep this racism train going as long as we can because we wanted to talk about SNL because it's coming to London Saturday Night Live is coming to London. It's probably coming to Chiswick, if I'm right, where they'll probably film this. Do you reckon they can't? They're not going to be able to, it's going to have to be somewhere central because people are not going to- Lily, I'm worried about this. Go out to like Elstree for five days. That is exactly what they'll do. Like they won't

think, I have to say there's good things on side of SNL coming to the UK. Lorne Michaels is part of it and that is actually the original originator, big bad man of Saturday Night Live. So thank God he's coming. Also Phil Edgar Jones from Sky Arts has commissioned it, so it's not like an ITV, shiny, floor Saturday night commission. Daisy Edgar Jones's dad. Yes, it is Daisy Edgar Jones. He's such a great guy. I love Phil Edgar Jones.

He's so good. He's like someone in TV that you actually, like, you'd want to know what music he likes and like what art he thinks is good. Like, he's just a creative, cool motherfucker. Great dad, Daisy. Great dad. So I think that's those things are on side. But the fuckers have just they've done what every big offering in TV does to shoot itself in the foot, which is say anything that alludes to star

studded line up and A-list this and top celebrities that do not say it. So that in four weeks, when it's Rob Brydon and Catherine Ryan, no one's gonna go, where's Tom Hanks? Do you know what I mean? Just don't even do it to yourself. It's gonna be interesting. You've been on Saturday Night Live, Lil. I have, I was the musical guest when Drew Barrymore

was presenting in 2007, maybe? Right. That's quite fun. Drew Barrymore introduced you. I looked at the clip today and I was like, Drew Barrymore introduces her. It's quite exciting. Yeah, it was quite exciting. So tell us about SNL in America.

What does it mean to the people of America? It's deeply important to American civilization. Yeah. It's like it's an institution, you know. I guess, you know, in terms of television institutions that we have, first of all, there's nothing like it and nothing to compare it in the comedy world. But I would say it's something akin to like Top of the Pops or Blue Peter, you know, like something that's been there forever. Fabric of our lives kind of vibe. I love that kind of television. Yeah. And that is why it is allowed to be so bad.

Do you think it's bad now? I think it's, I think it's bad. Yeah. Oh, I liked, okay. Justin Timberlake, Andy. Andy Sandberg. Yeah. Like I'm on a boat, bitch. I loved those sketches. I thought they were hysterical. Listen, like once in a blue moon, they do a good one. Yeah, so it's not, is it not consistently good?

No, no, no. Oh no. It's actually like predominantly bad. And then occasionally there'll be a good sketch and you'll be like, oh, that was actually quite funny. Does it feel like all of America are sitting down to watch it every Saturday night? No, it doesn't. I don't think there is anything there is such thing as like live TV except for the Super Bowl and sports. I feel like people watch SNL the next day or on Monday.

It does very well on. I don't like talking about something and then going, but it's successful. I promise because this is how well it does on socials. But apparently SNL does get billions of streams away from its time slot, which is very after 50 seasons that is saying something. But as you said, I don't think it needs to be good. It's just part of the country. Yeah, it's part of the country. I mean, and there are, you know, I really like Colin and Che's bit that they do at the end, you know, for the newsreader bit. Is that Colin Jost? Jost.

Jost. Married Scarlett Johansson. Married Scarlett Johansson. And what else? Yeah, I just, I don't, I don't have high hopes for the English version. I've got to be honest. Don't mean to be a little negative and Ellie, but I just can't really see. It doesn't, you know, it, you know, when SNL was absolutely hilarious was like back in the day when you had people like Steve Martin and Martin Short. And Betty Murphy, Bill Murray. Yeah, like these guys that were legends and they were silly and they were politically incorrect.

I was gonna say they were a bit dangerous. Yeah, like, I don't know, was John Belushi on Saturday Night Live? I feel like, yeah, like these guys, there was a time and a place for that humor. I'm not saying that we should bring that back because I think that we've, you know, moved on. But maybe the format doesn't suit where we are as a species anymore. We also touched on this a little bit before, but the internet isn't really geared towards anything other than the individual, you know?

So social media, you don't, like, it doesn't even really work for bands, nevermind like comedy troops, you know? Yeah, but why has this gotta be a hit on social media? Why isn't this just going to be a big televisual success? Because nothing is a televisual success. Don't say that, Lilly! Well, it's true.

I refuse to believe that something can't... Like, generational TV, I think, is falling apart at the seams. Absolutely. And, but, you know, I was listening to something on radio for the other day where they were talking about how it's really hard to get TV dramas made with, like, British money about British things, you know, and I think in the last few years we've had, you know, that post office scandal thing that was on and adolescents and I think maybe like Wolf Hall or something, but like, you know, British TV made

by British people written by British people directed by British people about British history, British things and it's almost impossible to get them made now. And that's happened relatively recently. I mean, it's been gradually happening, but the way that production companies or channels, yeah, so the way that they would get them over the line in years gone by is to like split it with a streamer. So like would pay for three-quarters of it and you know some of that would come from you know BBC funding or whatever and then they would go in with a streamer so like a Hulu or Netflix or whatever and now the streamers are saying no we don't need to we want it all for ourselves yeah and you know adolescence is an example of

that like that is for Netflix but it was definitely felt very much like it should have been BBC, a BBC thing. Definitely. So I think that we're going to see more of that and you know, bringing it back round to the SNL conversation and it being, you know, like a TV event, you know, the thing is, is that like, you know, when SNL first came around, whenever it was, 50 years ago, there was one TV in a house. And so everybody in the house came around and sat down and watched that thing together. And now, you know, we're all just sitting in our bedrooms on our own individual screens. No, but this is what I'm saying. This is what I think I've discovered from living in a household

now with my mum, my father, my grandma, my auntie Amanda and three dogs at the moment is that like, actually there are things that are about discovery with a bit of familiarity that everyone enjoys. It's just that people are used to watching what they wanna watch rather than watching what is on television. So the shows that I've been watching with my nut, like the other day we put on BBC Two

and Hello Dolly was on, right? The Barbra Streisand film. Nanny would never watch that. Nanny would be like, I watch in the day, I watch my quiz shows. And then I go and watch my detective shows. If I have to see one more fucking episode of Death in Paradise, I'm going to kill myself.

But it's what keeps her happy, and it's a mixture of familiarity. She gets to see the islands and think of Antigua, but also it's detective, but it's like detectives for dummies, so it's not too complicated. So it's a bit, you know, she can follow it, but it's still got a bit of jeopardy. We've been watching Gardeners World.

We've been watching, we watched Hello Dolly. She knew every single word of Hello Dolly when Barbara started singing. I was like, okay, because it's in her, it's like back in there. And she was like, at the end of it, she's like, oh, I haven't seen that film for so long. I would have never sat down and watched this. I was like, all you got to do is put on BBC Two on a Saturday afternoon. And there's always an old film on. but people don't know anything about scheduling anymore.

I actually like look at the TV guide and like circle shit like I'm my grandpa Ray. And I think that people get stuck in ruts with television about when it comes to familiarity and routine and TV should really be about discovery, nostalgia. Like we watched the documentary about Charles and Ray Ames, who made the Ames chair. I'm sitting in one. Oh my god, there you go, right? Nanny, at the end, in the beginning, she's like, you're watching a documentary about someone who made a chair. By the end, she's like, oh, you'd think it's just a chair, but there's so much to learn.

I was like, that's right, Nanny. And I think when we get to the last chapter, maybe curiosity you don't think is for you anymore. But I don't even think we're curious enough as 40 year olds. Like stay curious, even when it comes to what you're going to watch on the telly. I feel like I've given Nanny quite a lot, Lil, like in the last few weeks, a lot of discovery. And I feel like maybe when you're older, you don't feel like there's room for discovery.

That's a great thing to be able to give her. Yeah and the doctor has said to her that she does need a social life like she's bored. She's too smart to be sitting around watching Death in Paradise but you get into a familiar pattern don't you? So I'm here. I feel like I'm your nanny in Brooklyn. Sounds like what I do. I need a social life. I had more to say about comedy, but I think I'll save it for another episode, because there's a whole thing about like, why we laugh, who makes us laugh. Oh, wait, you know what I have been watching is Last One Laughing. Have you watched it? You actually are watching it.

It is very funny. Tell us the premise Lil. Well I think it's 10 of them they go in to like a house that's a bit like the Big Brother house and I don't know why they all carry suitcases in with them because they don't stay the night there. Maybe it's because they've got the Joker equipment in their suitcases but they basically they have to not laugh. Oh. And it's just very funny watching people really try to not laugh at Oh. And it's just very funny watching people really try to not laugh at very funny people doing

very subtly funny things and things that also like, aren't even that funny. And then watching people be in hysterics at the unfunniness of them. Okay, apparently it's gonna save Amazon. I mean, I don't know how they're gonna do it without Bob Mordes- Mortimer on every time because he Oh, is it Bob that's shining?

I mean, but I mean, talk about like a golden era of comedy like and also like Reeves and Mortimer were wrong, you know, a lot of their stuff from back in the day was incredibly questionable. I'm surprised that they're still allowed on TV. Yeah, but what a trip. But what a comeback for Bob Mortimer. Do you know how he came back? No. He had a heart thing, something wrong with his heart. Paul Whitehouse had had the same thing.

And when he went through the operation, I think after that, he decided to start doing little bits and pieces. And he was an absolute outstanding, would I lie to you, contestant? Right. And people just wanted him on every week and then him and Paul Whitehouse pitched Gone Fishing because Paul was taking him fishing to help him heal his heart. And now that's the biggest show on the TV screens at the moment and I love it. And he's now just having a moment. I love Bob Mortimer.

What a joker. He is so fucking funny. Daisy Mae Cooper, she was really funny in it. Jimmy Carr, is he funny still? I mean, Jimmy Carr's Jimmy Carr, but he's the presenter, so he's not part of it. But yeah, it was absolutely hilarious, but I feel like they got the best people in

for this series, so I don't know where they're gonna go next. And also- Yeah, Richard O'Reilly and Bob Mortimer, that's pretty good. I don't know where they're going to go next. And also- Yeah, Richard O'Oadie and Bob Mortimer. That's pretty good. I don't want to give any spoilers, but they both do very well. And it's very funny watching those two specifically trying to make each other laugh because their humor is like, it's not straight up.

It's not, well, it can be a bit slapstick. But yeah. It's not slapstick, because slapstick's my worst. No, Rick, Bob Mortimer can be a slapstick. Yes, sure. But I feel that Richard Ayoade is like smart and a bit like surrealist. Yes.

Because I really like when British, when the Britons have a bit of surrealism in their comedy. I don't mean the mighty bouche, I mean Monty Python. I feel like that's like us at the top end of our game. I don't know why we do that so well. I hate slapstick, I hate a joke. You like a joke. I like one joke.

That's true. I don't really like jokes. I don't really like, let me tell you the one about, have I ever told you the one about this? No, it's not that. It's that you'll tell me a joke that you've heard anyway. And then what else do I? Who do I find? Who makes me laugh? Me. Lily, you are on my list. You're the only person I like puns from.

Otherwise, they're on my no no list. Simon Amstel, Seth Rogen really makes me laugh. David Mitchell, my dad, and Louis Weymouth. Good crew. Who makes you laugh? Marnie, my daughter, makes me laugh. And that's comedy. On that note, should we end the show?

Because it's been nearly 50 minutes. Hang on a minute. One thing, what? Or do we want to talk about Katy Perry and her mates all going up to space for 12 minutes? I think that if they're going to go up to space for 12 minutes, we can talk about it for 10 seconds and that's about all it deserves, ratio-wise. I mean, what the fucking hell is all that about? There you go, done.

All right. But in all seriousness, what? Why? For why? Why they say they go. And does anyone know where they got to in space? Like, what did we arrive at? I think they just went out of the atmosphere

and then turned around and came back again. They didn't go to the moon or some shit. So they went up for a few minutes, got into the outer layers of space, the outer regions, and got a bit of that kind of floating, flying. Not the outer regions, the inner regions of space. Sorry, good point. We're the outer regions, the inner regions of space.

I wouldn't want to go there at all. I just think like it's so out of touch. Like we're on the brink of like recession. People are really fucking struggling to make ends meet and get food on their table. I don't know about how things feel in London, but in New York it feels like fucking expensive at the moment. Like it's like hard to like leave the house without spending $500 and I'm not even joking. Like that's what I've heard from other people in New York recently. It's cheaper for me to door-dash food, you know, to get takeaway than it is for me to go and get groceries and cook.

Whoa! It's so expensive here at the moment. It's so expensive. Have you seen it actually change and go up since certain new people are in power? No, not necessarily, but just since I've been here, I've seen it get worse. And I just think that, you know, I'm really okay financially, you know, and it feels like glaringly obvious how fucking hard it is to make it work in a city like this. And I know it's not necessarily like a nationwide issue, although in terms of how, you know, New York is definitely at the steeper end of the country than other places. But it just

seems like things are hard at the steeper end of the country than other places, but it just seems like things are hard at the moment. And not really the most appropriate time to send Katy Perry into space. For absolutely no fucking reason. It's like we send people to space because like to discover things, like scientific reasons. It really is quite bad timing considering where we're at particularly right now in the world Bloody terrible timing. I'm sure they were like, oh no, and the fact that they've like made it like some sort of feminist thing It's like oh no, stop the shoehorning of the feminism. I cannot

Please at the end the only one who really should be congratulated are, there was a rocket scientist called Asia Bo. There was also a civil rights activist, Amanda Wen. Is that who was, so it's like Lauren Bezos and Katy Perry. Lauren Sanchez because she's not Bezos yet. Katy Perry and Oprah's mate Gail. Gail got on? Okay. Gail got on. Gail got on. Gang gang gang.

Don't worry, Natty just texted me. Not Katy Perry just coming back from an 11 minute space journey. So even Natty's not impressed. So I don't think we've hit all the... I don't even know what they were trying to do, but I don't think it's done what it was meant to do. So maybe we'll stop spending money on this now. God willing! I guess Jeff Bezos is behind both those money ventures because he owns Amazon. Amazon owns Last One Laughing and he did The Plane. So I'd say he should stick to

reality comedy instead of... I'll just say that I don't think that that's strange, by the way. Jeff Bezos is like, owns most of the world. He's literally like Lex Luthor. Lex Luthor. He looks a little bit like him when Lex Luthor shaves his head. Yeah. It's only gonna own more of the world. It's not going any other way. You know what we really need to do? I was talking to Sam Wilson about this the other day.

I'll listen to anything he has to say. It's time to turn the internet off. Oh my God. Lily. It actually god. Lily. It actually is. It actually is time. And he was saying, like, if there was a presidential candidate that was like, that was just running on, I'm going to switch it off,

I think they would win. It has ruined... Everything. Everything. The way that we interact as human beings, art, creativity, everything. It has ruined everything. Wait, wait, remember our new decision, which is your little face,

which is that we're going to spread out your hate for the internet episodically. So that's enough for this episode. And then we'll do a bit more next week. We're going to call this episode Turn It Off. That's quite good. That's quite good. There you go. But seriously guys, it actually is time. But what about Spotify? Like little things like that. Like how will I listen to music? You would go to, hopefully, you know, a few more outposts of Rough Trade would open up

and you go and get yourself some CDs. Yeah, that would be nice. You'd be earning more money because you'd be like, you know, a few more outposts of Rough Trade would open up and you go and get yourself some CDs. Yeah, that would be nice. You'd be earning more money because you'd be like, you know, doing more stuff that you'd be getting paid for. Hmm. As opposed to like making stuff that doesn't make any money because it's on the internet. So you would be able to afford to go and get some CDs. And guess what? You'd go, you'd build a relationship with the guy in Rough Trade.

He'd start to know what kind of stuff it was that you would like and he as you were saying about TV being discovery Yeah, yeah, yeah, and your music shop would be telling you. Hey, I've got this you'd really like that album I gave you last week. I've got this new thing. I think you're really gonna like it. Yeah, and then that's a Relationship we need to turn it off. We need to turn it off. We need to turn it off It's the name of the episode and Lily's call to action. We really must go, Lily. I've got things to do and internets to turn off. Although we won't be able to make Miss Me without the internet. It could be on the radio.

Oh yeah, we'll just go to radio. Alright, darling. Listen, bitch. Next week is... Dreams. Dreams. Dreamy dreaming. We've got some Freud, we've got some Young. Excellent. So we're all ready to go, dreams-wise, on this side. Can't bloody wait. I can't bloody wait. We'll see you on Monday for Listen Bitch. The theme is dreams. Bye darling. I'll speak

to you later. Give a little bye, Lil. No. Thanks for listening to Miss Me with Lily Allen and Makita Oliver. This is a Persephoneka production for BBC Sounds. I'm Helena Bonham-Carter and for BBC Radio 4, I'm back with a brand new series of History's Secret Heroes. And he tells her that she will be sent to France as a secret agent, she will work undercover, and if she is caught, she's going to be shot. Join me for more stories of unsung heroes, acts of resistance, deception and courage from World War II.

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