Mission To Zyxx - 405: A More Prefect Union [ft. Jordan Carlos]

Episode Date: March 18, 2020

The crew is sent to learn from the architect of a utopian society. Bargie does a general. Nermut powers down. Dar gets buzzed.Starring:Jeremy Bent as C-53Alden Ford as Pleck DecksetterAllie Kokesh as DarSeth Lind as Nermut BundaloyWinston Noel as AJMoujan Zolfaghari as Bargie, the Chief of Staff, and the Tour BotWith special guest Jordan Carlos as Intellius Quint QuinnRecording, sound design and mix by Shane O’Connell Edited by Alden FordMusic composed by Brendan Ryan and performed by FAMES Macedonian Symphonic OrchestraFeaturing crowd voices by our S4 kickoff live show audienceOpening crawl narration by Jeremy CrutchleyShip design for The Bargarean Jade by Eric GeuszAudio hosting by SimplecastMission to Zyxx is a proud member of the Maximum Fun network

This is CRED IT5 with a few announcements. Due to a pandemic in a quadrant far from Zix, the MaxFun drive has been postponed. More details about the drive are at the end of this episode. In times like this when society must come together, or in this case separate, for a common cause, we are reminded how lucky we are to be part of a community-supported operation like Maximum Fun. Mission to Zix will continue to put out episodes, edited and sound designed from our isolation bunkers, on the off chance that the absurd travails of a crew far away might comfort you during this trying time. Mission to Zix will continue to put out episodes, edited and sound designed from our isolation bunkers, on the off chance that the absurd travails of a crew far away might comfort you during this trying time.

Stay safe, stay fresh. We jucking love you. It is a time of chaos. Without a ruler, the galaxy is paralyzed by lawlessness, unrest, and of course, the colossal Oort. Which looks like a supernova hitting rock bottom. Now, Captain Dar and their intrepid crew must survive the looming threats, reunite a fractured galaxy, and meet weird bug creatures and stuff. This is Mission to Zix. Hey, Captain Dark? Uh, what's going on?

Do you notice there are a lot of, uh, people on the ship that are not us? I'm sorry? Uh, they're in the waiting room. Wait, why is there a sign that says waiting room on the loading dock? No, it's stupid. Wait, I'm sorry. There are other people here? I just, I've been, I've been supposed to do all this paperwork. I just, I haven't even had a chance to shower yet.

I don't know. I just thought that you'd probably be the person I would. Now you're there for me. I should be the person that would know. Bargy, why are there people on the ship? They're taking meetings. We're doing a bunch of generals. Okay.

I'm in development now. We got a general on board? Fall in! General on board! Okay. Hey, Jim. General Swivel! That's not...

Even if there were a general, that's not what you... Well, they're generals. No, no. A general in the entertainment biz lingo is when people without jobs come and pitch themselves to you, and then I, as a person in development, go, okay, wow, and then I never do anything about it. That's a general meeting. Okay, so there's no general involved?

No. I mean, maybe there could be. That would be interesting. So the person who doesn't have a job is a general? If the general had a solid elevator pitch and a sweet log line. Could happen. Yeah. So I kink.

I'm ready for you. So I kink. Okay, so here's the idea. Yeah. So it's a workplace dramedy. Yeah. But everybody's a blorp. I've seen it.

Oh. Yeah. Well, I have some other stuff. Okay. So it's a courthouse dramedy. Seen it. All right. Oh. Yeah. Uh, well, I have some other stuff. Okay. So, it's a courthouse remedy. Seen it. All right. Get some water.

Thank you so much. Oh, thank you. Wow. Wow. Listen, Bargy, are these meetings going to be done pretty soon? I think we're going to need to get to the loading bay at some point. Let's see. Number five.

Oh, that's me. Okay. Hi. Hi. My name is Dampia Dillon Okay You know, I'm only taking this meeting because I know your father, right? Oh, really? You know Papa? Of course I know Papa

Papa He is so sick He's on the bridge Yeah, but Bargy, the loading dock is the waiting room You could use the cargo hold for the meetings. We have to sort of do crew stuff out here. Thank you so much for doing the paperwork for me.

Oh, wait. I thought this was for us. You're helping me. These are all NDAs. Oh. I just, I mean, I didn't really understand any of it. This is my first time as captain, so I just figured, you know, paperwork is paperwork. And I've been filling it out for hours.

Yeah, Darlitz, normally you're not going to have to do that much paperwork as captain. Well, I mean, I never saw Plek doing any paperwork. Yeah, so that's a good indication. Well, I just thought that was because I was Plek. Also, I wasn't the captain either. I wasn't the captain. Also, I wasn't the captain either. He wasn't the captain. Captain Dora, I have an incoming transmission from Temporary Emergency Emissarial Negotiations

Missions Operations Manager, Nermin Bundeloy. All right, let's take that call. Hi, Nermin. Hey. Nermin, quick cue for you. Sure. How much paperwork am I supposed to be filling out as captain? We haven't sent any.

Will you ever send any? I mean, I think in the papers, the paper is the future. So I guess possibly, but we haven't. I guess it would only be in the future. No, probably none. Probably none. She's not around. You don't have any drinks or

anything? You just yelled it all away? Everything froze because there was like a power outage. Oh no, Nermin. You're cold-blooded. Anyway, Nermin, you had something to say? Uh, oh, I called, yeah. We almost never call you.

It's ice cold here guys My brain is off Nermin you gotta get that electricity back on You're gonna be real dumb You're a junkie idiot I'm gonna run my head Friction Okay I remember

Oh no Nermin what's the mission The machinery is frozen over Okay, I remember. A lot of feathers coming off. Oh, no. Nermin, what's the mission? Okay, the machinery's frozen over, but I'm going to turn this crank, and we're going to get some temporary power so I can charge this up and get you the mission. Okay. Where did you get that? The closet. Oh, boy.

C53, it's, I mean, I feel bad that the power's off, but when he uses the crank... Generating heat! That's a two-part. I feel an idea. Okay, Nermick, quick, while your brain still works, tell us the mission. Got it. Crew, you need to go meet Prefect Intellius Quint Quinn, who is the head of basically a perfect, happy society.

Sisu Gundu needs to know how he achieved that. And I'm sending you the coordinates now. And the reason is... You better turn that crank again, Nermit. I don't know. We should send him a hat or something. I've never seen... So ice.

Oh, boy. So ice. Oh boy. So ice. Alright, Nermit. Put a coat on or something. We'll see you later. Why don't you go down to the boiler room or something? Huh? Nermit, we'll see you later, alright? You called me?

No, man. Okay, we're gonna get this and we're gonna thaw out. Go for it. No. Can I just say something? I'm worried about Burt. No. No. Ruffin.

Yeah, no. We are too. Yeah, it must be rough to have an idiot around, you know? AJ? Does anyone get the feeling we've been here before? Uh, I mean, I don't know. Are the coordinates familiar to you? I mean, it looks familiar, but these coordinates

don't match anything in my database. I feel like this odd, grabbing sensation just feels so familiar. I've never been here. Hi there. Welcome to the Zank District. The most peaceful

place in the universe Okay, wait What? That sounds great Wow Is this the same Zank District? I mean, C-3-3 You're the one with all of the

All of the knowledge about this Wait, what's the Zank District? The Zank District is I don't know if you're okay For this conversation Yeah, this is What? No, tell me You're on A.J. No, I want to know I you're old enough for this conversation. Yeah, this is... What? No, tell me! You're on a date.

No, I want to know! I need to know, bud. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. You want to volunteer? What? Wait, what? We got wayward youth who need guidance. Is that a euphemism for...

What are we going to do with these youth? Oh, well, if you know things and sort of have a life experience that could help them get on the right track, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Wait, so, what was the Zank district before? It seems like a pretty nice place right now. Always been this. Bye.

Hey, Fleck? Yeah? Uh, are you feeling that same, like, heated, throbbing sensation deep from within yourself? Dara, I don't know what you're talking about. Hey, hey. I'm a former pervert who's now rehabilitized.

Definitely give it off that pervert energy. I'm a former pervert and I'm volunteering here today. I'm part of the committee to re-elect the prefect. That's right. Okay. We're not really interested. Don't you want to meet the prefect? Oh he a creep? That's right. Okay. We're not really interested. I mean, I hope he gets...

Don't you want to meet the prefect? Oh, we can meet the prefect? Yes. Follow all these other former perverts. We're forming

a very stable line. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, so all of you former perverts, all of you are creeps. We're creeps now. Well, we used to be perverts, but now we're creeps.

Now we're creeps. Yeah, we're creeps now, buddy. We're perverts from the past. You know what's under this trench coat? Clothes. Clothes. And a diploma. And a button.

Oh, yeah, it says, I like ick. Here you go, Mrs. Rottenbaum. Oh, you're such a sweet soul. Let me kiss your forehead. We appreciate you so much. It always feels so good delivering meals to the elderly

and homeless elderly. I'm Tullius Quinn IQQ. IQQ? Oh, wow. Quinn IQQ IQQ oh wow oh I knew this moment would come

and I have been bracing for this and I knew that if I had the power and the strength to call upon my rod my strength to call upon my rod that I would be strong. Do not fail me.

I do not strike you down in vengeance. But I embrace you as my own children. Come to me. Come to me. Embrace me. Embrace me, loading robot. Embrace me. Not robot. Embrace me. Not too much.

Hydraulics, hydraulics. And you too, ship. Oh, yeah. Look at you. I'm so glad to be part of this. My rod and wheel. Just reliving the searing trauma of being blasted out into the cold depths of space. By those that I thought were my friends.

Recap real quick for me. What's going on? Who are you? I'm AJ. Do we know each other? No, I don't think we do. Do I owe you money? What?

Do you owe me money? Maybe. Let me tell you something about debt. It's gross and it don't belong here in the Zank system. And we don't owe nothing to nobody. AJ, I think you stowed away aboard our ship with the intent to blast us with a sex gun, and we had no choice but to... Wait, with a what?

With a... It's a funny story. It is sort of a funny story. When you look back and look at it, it's a funny story it is sort of a funny story when you look back and look at it it's a funny story we can all kind of laugh at it I'm actually feeling a little sick right now just remembering it

I just can't like it looks like you get the chills or something yeah I don't know what it is maybe it's the thought of having to face this shameful memory. I kick you. Listen, we are so sorry. It was really not.

We never meant to. I mean, no, no, we meant to. I mean, at the time, sure, we were working for the Center for the Alliance. It was a very different time in our lives. I was a part of it. Yeah, you cool. But let me tell you something. It is the rushing waters under the Julian's fan.

Do not worry. That is extremely... Wow, that's very kind. Yes. Let's just say we all had different jobs, and IQQ, I am glad that you are happy and healthy and seem to have really turned things around for yourself. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Hello? Mm-hmm. Okay, thank you....design for her sex robot. Hello? Chief of staff of Freeford. You have documents to sign to get rid of crime. I have many documents to sign to get rid of crime, and I'm going to do it. Now, these documents here, as you can see, everybody, are printed on old pornography.

Yes. And of recycling. And repurposing. That's very nice for the environment. Yes. We don't use those for pornography anymore. We use it to make the laws and to help the people. And that's what we're

all about. That's really wonderful. Why don't you join me in my pleasure gardens and I will relate to you the story of my past, my present, my future perfect, and beyond. Come on into the pleasure gardens. We were here before.

Well, they're more pleasureous now than before. Look at all this. Yeah. It's just so green and very lush. Very lush, isn't it? Wow. So lush and fecund. Whoa, it looks like there's a farm-to-table restaurant right over there.

There is. Well, it's actually table-to-farm. You take the table to the farm and you pick out what you want. You got your blee blarps and you know what's in season is the crayons right now. Oh. Pardon me, pardon me. Turn your light around. Just taking this table.

Okay. Sorry, guys. Take the table. There you go. Oh around. I'm shaking this table. Okay. Sorry, guys. Take the table. There you go. Oh, wow. I can get that for you. Oh, oh, oh, yeah. Wow.

Table to farm, table to farm. Much has changed in the Zank system. Now, it was a horrible event that I have since forgiven you for, Plagg, when you blasted me into the cold vacuum of space. And I had time to reflect as all my particles reversed and all of the moisture in my body was extracted and taken out. As I felt my lungs go through my throat, that I would forgive you because what...

Wait, so what was this guy before he was a Bruce Fett? He shot him in space, but what was he before? I didn't realize. I solicited... I mean, he took some of the people into space back in the day. I solicited flesh. I'm not proud of it. Oh, so you were a space pimp.

That is a terrible word, yet on the money. But yes, that's what I was, as was my father before me, as was his mother. Wow. I didn't know that about you. And now you've reconsidered everything, and now you're a

prefect of a district assistant? I am, and I have y'all to thank for it. But how did you survive in space? How did I survive in space? I tilted my body to the right angle. Oh, yeah, that's it. And re-entered the Zank system. Are you free fell from space?

Nothing is free. It cost me. My body was crushed on impact. Is that why you're mostly cybernetic? Yes. I still forgive you. I have it

in my heart, and I pray to Rod every day because to hold that mantle is not easy. It's not easy. I totally get that. Oh, pimping ain't easy. Pimping ain't easy.

But you know what else ain't easy? Politics in the modern age. And it's hard to have the public trust and to be a servant of the people. But I have instituted and we now have 0% infant mortality rate. Yeah, we have 0% infant mortality rate. We have 0% dog mortality rate. That is cute. But at some point, right?

Don't sleep forever, dog. Then we all volunteer. Everybody volunteers to volunteer to be police. You volunteer to not be police. You volunteer to be arrested by police. Everybody is volunteering and the whole system works.

Perfect. Thomas, you've created almost a utopia here. Yes, a utopia. Coat donations, coat donations, just stuff them into the holes of this former glory wall. Right there. Coat donations. This is the glory wall?

This is the glory wall. Just be careful. There's still some weird stuff in it. Just put the glory wall. Just be careful. There's still some weird stuff in it. Just put the coat in gently. There's a lot of mucosa. But you know what? Now instead of pee-pees being shoved through there, there's pee coats.

So true. Would y'all like a little tour of the Zank District? Yeah, absolutely. Perfect intelligence. We would like nothing more. Then let me get my little tour bot out here. Oh, you have a tour bot? I have a tour bot. Hi.

I'm a tour bot. Sounds like you're expecting this. This is a repurpose. This is a repurposed bot. The patch is a little wonky, but it works. Okay. Tour bot, please take them off. I've never seen a tour bot make such strong eye contact.

It's comfortable. I'm really drilling into you. The Zank District has been created into a more vibrant and safe community by our prefect. Thank you, the prefect, now. Uh, thank you. Yes, smart. Now, follow your tour bot. I myself

have to go and prepare remarks to speak before my people. I'm giving a treatise on Utopia. Oh, well, that sounds really nice. Huh? Why is she quivering?

This is most uneasing. I don't like it. It reminds me of my old life. Sure. Yeah. All right, well, thank you, Prefect Intellius. Sorry, sorry, sorry about that. I'll get this under control.

What is it you're on? You've got to get it together here. Are you all right? I'm actually feeling a lot better now. As you can see here, these former sex dungeons are now libraries. Well, still, I mean, not sort of a haven for perverts, as we've learned. Labraris.

The internet connection is so strong. Wait, you've made labraris here with a strong internet connection? Yeah. That's unheard of. Uh, excuse me, Churbot, can I ask you a question? Oh, yeah. What happened between when you were a sexbot and, uh, now?

I decided to go for higher education, using the money I had as a jet bot to focus on my own self-development. Oh, good for you. I can now speak four languages. A droid that only speaks four languages? I only used to know zero language. Ah, well, the language of love. So that is an improvement. How many do you speak? Me?

Yeah. He barely speaks one. Thank you. I also like to think I speak the language of the space. As you can see outside, this used to be where all the animals exchanged genitalia. I don't think we came here when we were here before. Really? Years ago.

Now they live in peaceful cohabitation. Ah, they're getting a table. Uh, the animals? We here have table to farm restaurants. Where we give tables to farm animals. So they can sit down and study. Okay. Oh, like desks. You have something to write on.

How's the tour going? Oh! How's the tour going? Huh? Yeah, I think you really transformed this place. Thank you very much. It took almost three seasons that we turned this mother around like a battleship.

I didn't tell them about all the statistics. Would you like me to do that? Please inform them on the statistics. It's your very favorite thing to do. There is 0% crime. There is 100% health care. Literacy rate is 200% because we can all now read

twice. Wow, wow. Fords and side-to-side reading. Wow, that's pretty good. Happiness level is at an all-time high. Wow. Ain't it so? With the pants on. Sure.

Yeah. We have our pants on. Sure. Yeah. We have our pants off. That's right. Maybe just let us handle this. Can they go over there, please? Yeah, Darth. The captain. I'm the captain. I'm the captain.

Captain Darth? Stabilize him. Okay. Alright. Yeah? Captain Darnold? You're a stabilizer. Okay, all right. If I may, if I may, her energy is very sexual. I mean... And very upsetting. Yeah, that's true. And speaking of upsetting and disturbing,

I wonder why it is that you are here after all these many cycles. We come with a mission of galactic unification. Now, before you came with a mission and blasted me into the blackness. Okay, yeah. This is sort of... Okay, it's a different kind of mission than that. Okay. Sisu Gundu has a plan to reunite the galaxy,

and I think what you've done here in the Zinc District is something that Sisu could learn from and take to the reunite the galaxy. And I think what you've done here in the Zinc District is something that Sisu could learn from and take to the rest of the galaxy. These lessons? Yes. You believe that there could be a unified utopia? I think so. I mean, seeing what you've done here...

Does she like my swimming bats? What I've done with the animals? Uh, I mean, I don't know that she knows about them specifically, but I'm sure she'd be very, very impressed. Listen, IQQ, just as you have put your past with us behind you, maybe the next step is to join forces with Sisu, and maybe we can not only reunite each other, but the whole galaxy.

I'm touched. Thank you. In the right places. Uh, yeah, right uh yeah right yeah of course not in a sexual way no yeah no of course for money right no no i get what i get what you're saying i cannot look at you as i make my decision but join me on this veranda as i look out over the Palantine Hills. Okay. Wow, what a beautiful view. Isn't it something? It goes down and then around there. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. People. Wow, look at all those people. The streets are so clean! Two ways we need side-force and front-wise. Let me address my people now. To take what you have said and tell them what will be. I'm ready for my speech to give it to the people.

Let me undo this long scroll formerly printed on pornographic tables. My people! Yes, it's me harking unto my voice. I am about to address you. Not undressed. Ha ha ha! The old day! We love Larry's hair! to address you not undress yes and you will get that off what we have done here

as reverberated through the interlink we have created a utopia of sorts here in our zinc system. The streets aren't sticky anymore. The streets you brought down right. We volunteer and we depend on one another and that is the foundation of a good society. That we are responsible for the lives of others. That we are responsible for the well-being as I am responsible for the public trust. That is what is within all of us. In the zinc system, there is no one that is below, no one above, no one on top, no bottom. Everybody is a stride one another. We have gone through so much together. I being your solicitor in general.

But no more. I am your comrade. Maybe I am, you know, first among equals. But I am your friend. I am here to shepherd you and we have come so far. I have news. Great news. Sisu says that she would like us to join with her and teach her the ways of the Zen system.

What we have here will be scaled and amplified till it reaches the farthest reaches. Amplified till it Reaches the farthest Reaches These are all good things I have something To say in closing that will really Bring this home

In Gentawa there are two Ways to say The closing that will really bring this home. In Gentawa, there are two ways to say the word utopia. Gentawa, the world that we hope to be. In Gentawa, the world that can never be. But I tell you right now, we live in a world of ideals and nothing, nothing can stop that. I think I've been interested. There's something inside you that's vibrant. Get out. Get out.

Get out. Just pardon my reach. Just get out of here. Get out of here. Get out of here. get out of here. That's it. What kind of gun is that? Oh, that's a sex gun. You had the sex gun inside of you. Why did you do that?

Well, you know, obviously I was using it. Then the batteries died. And, well, then I had to use something else and then I was tired and I just left it up there. Yeah, alright. Is a sex gun like a butt gun? No, it's actually pretty different I think.

Reset. We found your butt gun. Oh! What is that? I remember that. I remember that I remember that object Give it to me Till I want it The past is present

Am I equal to the challenge of throwing this away? Till he's thrown away God, if I do, I'll break it Am I equal to the challenge of throwing this away? Tilly's throwing it away. God damn, I'll break it. That's what I want you to do, break it. It's glowing. It's glowing all the more. Ready. Ready to go.

I cannot let this go. Wow, I'm sorry. Is anyone else getting super turned on? No. No. Dark? No? Okay.

I mean, I'll just quietly think about this to myself then. I cast it aside. I cast it away. I cast it. Still holding it. I ain't holding it. Wow. I mean, this is the most arousing speech I have ever heard.

This moment, I sit at the dawn of a new day where people have come so far. Our lessons to be learned throughout the galaxy about Utopia. But part of me says, dig it. And that part

wins. The power of sex. Oh, no. Pleasure. Satisfaction. Please, Nick. All the hard work you did. All the hard work is going to get even harder.

No. I'm coming on you, Chris. No. Double backpacks. What work is gonna get evil? No, you! Hold on! No! I'm coming on your face! No! Devil back down! He's just shooting that sex gun! He's discriminating! Look at the crowd! So, AJ, does that answer your question? Do you understand the difference between a butt gun and a sex gun?

Get the people in the back! Run! Hey, yeah! We people in the back. Run! Hey, yeah. We're not creeps anymore. We're back to being perverts. Now, there's a people in the front. Yeah, there's a people, there's a people, there's a people in the side. Oh, we used to be volunteer teachers.

Now we're back to junk machines. Must jerk. Must Jock. Must Jock. Prefect, it's Thomas. You turned everything around. Yeah, I turned everything around. But you know what? Now we're going to do it doggy.

I just took a... I just took a from semi to automatic. Get sent. Get some. Get some. Oh, no. The streets are sticky again. It's so fast. Get some.

Get some. Literacy rates down. Yeah. Oh, no. I know what else is coming down is them pants. Everybody report to the sex phase. Now, I think you think about what you're doing. You're going to undo everything that you've done.

This cake has been baked. Sugar cane. No, no. I remember your name. It's all associative. It's all come back. Thank you so much. As I was hailing through space,

coming back here, I said to myself, should I forgive him for what he did? I mean, to be fair, it was Bargy that ejected you. Oh, of your commands? I mean, yes, a little bit. Are you not the captain? Uh, actually, darn it.

It actually does look like it. Oh, well, I don't have time for this. Sometimes I have to blow everybody away with this six-gun. That's right. Get some, Bargy. Bargy! Bargy! I'm shooting from the hip so it's more sexual life.

Ah! Bargy! Hold still so I can hit you, y'all. So jump it around like a flea on a hot brick. You gotta get Bargy. Quick! No! Get behind me.

There's no time. Get behind me. Okay's no time. Get behind me. Oh, wow. That's all the droid that sets. We're good. You can be okay absorbing all this. Get back to Bargy. Oh, I mean, that's how I ran the battery down the first time, so.

Oh, that tickles. Okay. Hit me again, daddy. Oh. Whoa. Yeah. Hit me. Hitles. Okay, hit me again, daddy. Whoa. Oh, hit me again. Okay. Hit me. Definitely hit me with this.

Wow. Oh, the armpit is in a razziness zone. I've been saying it for years. So can we get your endorsement for Sisu? No. Oh, yeah. If I will endorse Sisu, tell her to ready herself. I will do that.J. Bray. Oh, yeah. A howling North Sea Sue. Tell her to ready herself. I will do that.

I will do that. No, but relay the message. Captain Dar, I gotta say... Hold on, I need to finish this cigarillo first. Okay, all right. Captain Dar, that was some of the bravest... Yeah, you really saved us out there. ...I've ever seen in all my time.

Yeah, you really just planted and took it. You saved us, Captain Dar. Oh, yeah. And I'd save you again if I could. All right. All right, wait, calm down. Oh, yeah. And I'd save you again if I could. All right. All right, wait, calm down. Something crazy is about to be on television.

What? What? Let me just say a development deal is in deal. Okay. I don't know. There are no confirmations that I emailed the producer. It bounced back, but I'm sure that they'll talk about it. We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming for a major galactic announcement.

Whoa. It's IQQ. It's IQQ! Talking into my voice. Oh, they are living. Know this. The Zank system will be taking over very soon to fill the

void that was left by the Emperor. And I'll be bringing my sex gun to a neighborhood and quadrant near you. You will no longer needlessly long for food, beverages, shelter of any kind. For you will be all on your backs pleasuring others, business folk and the like. Do not worry. The work will be over soon, and many life forms quickly consummate. Join me.

Join us all in the zinc district. All will be zinc. There is only the world that is zinc, and the world that will soon be zinc. I'm IQQ, and I approve this massage. Oh, that wasn't what, uh... That wasn't what you were working on? It's a great idea

though. Well, uh, we'll go back to the papers. We'll figure it out. Captain Dora had an incoming transmission from Temporary Emergency Emissarial Negotiations Missions Operations Manager on the line. Oh, hey Nermit. Hey, Nermit. How's it going? How's it going?

How's it going? What? The Juck. Uh, what's it called? Oh, funny you should put it that way. Yeah, Juck is the name of the game. Is Sisu mad? Does her hair still smell good?

Yes and yes. Oh, yeah, I thought so. This was about galactic unification, and now there's another candidate vying for power? Well, that is democracy, though. The one candidate is. All we have to do is be better than them. I think that CCU offers a very attractive alternative to the world that IQQ emits. Of course.

Right. There's one great candidate and one sex maniac. Okay, well, yeah. This is a great idea. What is? What? Whatever's happening here. I'm into it.

I don't have the money. I cannot actually make it into anything, but I like it. Thanks, Margie. Everybody in the waiting room, please exit. I think they're all... Margie, we're in space.

Oh, she's just opening the hatch. Oh. Oh. They all wearing the space suits. It's fine. They took a scene like they're all... Bargy, we're in space. Oh, she's just opening the hatch. Oh. They all wearing the space suits. It's fine. They took a scene like they're taking the helmets off. Why? Why would they do that?

Oh, they're pitching as they're going. I see. It's a tragedy. It's a set when people are ejected into space. Oh, they're taking off their helmets so they can pitch. Yeah. It's about a diverse group of young people in an urban setting. Ugh, this business is hard.

Yeah, toughencing outro protocol. Plek Dexler was played by Alden Ford. C-53 was played by Jeremy Bent. Captain Dar was played by Ali Kokesh. Bargy the Ship, the Chief of Staff, and the Tourbot were played by Mujan Zulfagari. Teen Mom, Nermit Bundeloy, and the Vat of Jizz were played by Seth Lind. AJ was played by Winston Knoll. Prefect and Intelliust Quint Quinn was played by special guest Jordan Carlos.

Jordan is a stand-up comedian, writer, and actor in New York City. He has written for Divorce and First Wives Club and has appeared on many television shows, including The Colbert Report, Broad City, and Black Mirror. He also co-hosts the podcast Adulting from WNYC Studios. Follow him on Twitter at Jordan Carlos. This episode was edited by Alden Ford, with sound design and mix by Shane O'Connell.

Music composed by Brendan Ryan and performed by famous Macedonian symphonic composed by Brendan Ryan and performed by famed Macedonian Symphonic Orchestra. Crowd cheers and reactions to The Sex Gun were generously provided by our Season 4 kickoff live show, Audios, recorded at Robert Dahlke Jr.'s Pumpy Palace in Brooklyn, New York. Opening call narration by Jeremy Crutchley.

Ship design for The Margarian Jade by Eric Boyce. Audio hosting by Simplecast. Mission to Six is a proud member of the Maximum Fun Network. Hi, it's Jesse, the founder of MaxFun, coming to you from the microphone at my home office where I am socially segregating. So we promised you a MaxFunDrive this week, but things haven't exactly gone how we expected. So given the pandemic, we're going to postpone this year's drive. Events are still fluid, so we're hesitant to give you specifics about new dates. Right now we have late April penciled into our calendars.

We'll keep you posted about that. As it stands, a lot of our drive machinery was already cranked up. So for one thing, you might hear a reference or two to the drive in our shows, which might have been recorded before we made this decision. And here is some good news. There's a bunch of great bonus content available for all of our MaxFun members. If you're a member and you missed the email with instructions on how to listen, check your spam folder or log in at maximumfund.org slash manage. Also at maximumfund.org slash manage, you can change your membership if your circumstances have changed. We know this is a

tough time for a lot of people and we understand. You can also go to MaximumFun.org slash join at any time if you'd like to become a member. During the next couple weeks, what would have been the drive, we're going to do our best to be extra available to you. We've got some streaming events planned, some social media stuff. We know a lot of folks are isolated right now, and we want to help provide comfort in the best ways that we know how. You can follow us on social media, and we'll let you know what's up. During this tough time, I have been feeling really grateful for my community of colleagues here at MaxFun, and for you, the folks who make our work possible. Goofy as that work may sometimes be.

Stay safe out there. We're thinking of you. Maximumfun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Audience supported. You free fell from space? Wow.

Nothing is free. It cost me. My body was crushed on impact. Is that why you're mostly like a... Two-dimensional? Two-dimensional? That makes you laugh? No, I'm sorry.

That's humorous to you? Plek. I still forgive you You one-eyed man