Mission To Zyxx - Guessin' Our Pickss

Episode Date: September 8, 2025

How well does the cast of Mission to Zyxx know each other? Find out in this newlywed-style game show filled with weird questions submitted by fans! And mark your calendars: The Young Old Derf Chronicles will premiere on Wed Dec 3rd. To suggest ideas and help us make the show, support us on Maximum Fun!   Lovingly researched and sound-described transcripts are embedded in every episode page on missiontozyxx.space!

Hey there, everyone. It's Seth with a quick announcement before our monthly episode. And that announcement is the premiere date of the Young Old Durf Chronicles. And that date is Wednesday, December 3rd. That is when the first episode of this Mission to Zix prequel series will drop with biweekly releases planned after that until all eight episodes are out. We have recorded most of it. We have edited much of it. Shane has fired up every single machine in his secret sound last. laboratory. We are so excited to get this out into the world for you to hear. And until December,

of course, we will continue to release monthly episodes with content suggested by our supporters. Like this episode, you're about to hear right now. Hello, everyone. Alden Ford here with this month's one-shot podcast by the creators of Mission is X. Please don't check the calendar. It is technically September, and this is technically August's release. But that's because we've worked so hard on this one. It took us all of the month of August to do. That's not true. We are very excited to be here with a first and last episode of what we're calling

Guess in Our Picks, which is a getting to know you or how well do we know each other game show where the crew of Mission Is X will compete to see who knows each other's mind the best. Wow. Yeah, 28 days of August was just coming up with that title. Yeah, guess in our picks took four weeks. We use our time badly. Exactly. But let's just jump right into it.

Some of you may be familiar with an old-timey game show called The Newly Wed Game, where different pairs of people will try to guess each other's answers to personal questions about themselves. Frequently, newlyweds. Frequently newlyweds. That's the idea. And this was at a time when people got married who barely knew each other. So it was really challenging for them. Right.

And, of course, all of the questions you're about to hear were submitted by listeners just like you over on our Mission to Zix Discord. Thank you so much everybody who submitted questions. These are great. Yeah. If you'd like to join them in crafting our next one-shot podcast, we'd love you to. Please join them in supporting our show over at maximum fun.org slash join. Okay. Our first round is going to be Seth and Allie.

these pairs have been randomly selected by a D-8 that I rolled for the last four days of August. Each pair has five questions to answer about each other. If they are right, they get a point. If they are wrong, they don't. So, Seth and Allie, who'd like to go first? Sure, I'll answer. Just to be very clear, I'm going to ask, I'm going to ask Allie a question, and she's going to answer what she thinks Seth would answer to this question, okay?

Okay, Gorge, let's do it. Allie, what actor do you think Seth would want to play him in his biopic? Stanley Tucci. Wow, good answer. Fresh off the. That was, yeah, that was. I see that. You had that in a holster.

Seth, what actor do you think Allie would want to play her in her bio? Dakota Fanning. Wow, you guys are quick. All right. It would have been good. Let's see what the real answers are. Allie, what's your answer? Who would play you in a biopic?

I said, Zoe Deutsch. Zoe Deutsch. Very good. Because she's so likable, she could make me seem not likable. Come on, nah. How to play. Seth, who would you want to play you in a biopic? I mean, Allie, you were so close because this guy is basically just Stanley Tucci on steroids.

Jason Statham. Cool. Nice. I'm sorry, I literally. I should let me reword this question a little bit. I understand, I understand. Who should play you? Not who do you want to play?

No, so who do you want? No, it's who do you want? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. And British, and British, right? I love this American life. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Specifically says want to.

Wow, okay. In Seth's biopic is an action movie. Okay. All right. I understand. Guy Ritchie presents Seth's life. Okay. So, Allie, if money was no object, where would Seth live?

Grease. Wow. Cool. Seth, if money was no object, where would Allie live? Brooklyn, just a much better apartment. Cool. Wow. You mean not the, not the form.

funeral home I live in currently rent currently hey I've stayed at that funeral home and it's lovely haunted but lovely that's everybody's answered in New York here but better Seth if money

were no object where would you live Paris wow I didn't realize what romantic you are Seth Jason Statham in Paris Is Jason Statham in Paris The biopic.

The biopic obviously takes place in Paris. I love it. Allie, if money were no object, where would you live? Amsterdam. Oh, you go back. I almost said anywhere but Amsterdam.

You go back. I thought based on these recording sessions, you'd never want to go back. And shockingly, now I know how good I had it. That's true. I regret to inform you as team. Seth and Ali have zero points moving on okay but we're gonna make it up we're still

technically in the lead yes Ali what do you think Seth's favorite Girl Scout cookie is I think he's a real freak and he loves those lemon ones oh wow you guys hate scoring points Seth what do you think what do you think Ali's favorite Girl Scout cookie is I think she's not a freak and she likes thin mince okay okay good Good. Allie, what is your answer? Thinman. Oh, yes. Points on the board.

Seth, you like those weird lemon ones? You fucking freak. I am a freaky-deaky little freak boy, but I love the tag-alongs. I knew I should have just gone classic. That's the right answer. That's the right answer. That's what you say if you're trying to hide that you're a freak. All right, All right, Allie.

If Seth could take a nap on a bed-sized amount, of food, bed-sized amount of food, what would it be? Like, what is the one food item? Yeah. Hot dog buns. Wow, okay, so you're going for comfort over flavor, for sure. Okay, great. Seth, if Allie could sleep on a bed-sized amount of food, what do you think she would choose? Cooked rice.

Okay. Warm. Oh, not uncooked rice? Nice. Cooked rice. I think uncooked rice feels seems way better All right Cooked rice is one of the craziest answers

I could have ever imagined anyone's saying That's how they would kill people in the past There are rice Rice filled mattresses out there Yeah how cooked are they How cooked are those mattresses? That's the thing If you put me in uncooked rice

Would it sap all the water out Like it does my iPhone You'd become a mummy I'm trying to dehydrate. I see who my friends are. Desicated via the rice bed. But all of your electronics would work great. All right, Ali, what's the food you would choose to sleep on a bed-shaped pile of?

I would want to sleep on brioche. Good answer. All right, zero points continue. No, we still have one. You have one point. Yeah. Seth, what would you sleep on? I would sleep on mashed potatoes.

another wet one another wet one Jeremy I want to hear Statham as Seth answer The true answer Yeah You know what I'd pick Mash potatoes

Mashed Bangers and MASH I want to be the banger MASH me I'm the banger All right Coming this summer The banger

That sounds like a Jason Statham The movie I'm the banger Seth, I think we can get this one. All right, last chance for a point, guys. Allie, what superpower do you think Seth would want? Teleportation. Oh, okay, good one.

Seth, what superpower do you think Allie would want? Invisibility. Wow. Okay. Speaking of freaks. That's funny, because I was thinking teleportation for you because it's like a prankster's superpower. Oh, cool. But so is invisibility.

Well, got to go. Dwee. All right, Allie, what is your desired superpower? Shapeshift. Then I could look even more like Zoe Doin. Or Jason's taste. Slight. Seth, what is your desired superpower?

Invisibility. You guessed that invisibility would be mine when it's yours? I thought we were the same. Do you guys understand the rules of this game? Yes. Wow. Wait, that was a very sweet moment. Seth said, I thought we were the same.

That's so nice. Yeah. Yeah. That is sweet. I thought you'd want to sleep on a tater bed. I thought I recognized you from the creeper conventions. I quote the classic This American Life episode where they debate flight versus invisibility. Oh, yeah.

Flight is for people who want to let it all hang out. Invisibility is for fearful crouching masturbators. Wow. And? You know what? I'm not as fearful as I'm. I used to be I still crouched though

I still crouched got a crouch It's a comfortable position That was beautiful We have one point We do You know what All right So one point for team

Seth and Alley Now we are going to move on To Mujan and Winston Okay Okay We're going to start things off easy Mujan what do you think Winston's favorite candy bar is

I think he's a bit of a Snickers, man. Oh, Snickers. That's Jason. Was that Jason Stapham? That's his, Jason Stapent. He had helium.

Jason Statenment. That's what he does when he talks. That's a classic statement, I is. Yeah. Winston, what do you think Mujan's favorite

candy bars? Twigs. Wow, cool. All right. Mujan, what's your favorite candy bar? Okay. I made it complicated because I gave the honest answer and then what is like practical.

Because I'm not a, I'm not, I'm not, I know, but I'm not a candy bar person. I can't wait for this honest candy bar answer. I'm so excited of what this nonsense is like a Luna bar. Baby Ruth or something. A raw potato. My favorite candy bars are raw potato, actually. That's the reaction. Cooked rice, cooked rice.

Who's H.U's dark chocolate with hazelnut is my favorite, like, sort of candy. That's what I wrote down. Yeah, but I said also maybe twicks, I guess. Okay, all right. Also maybe twicks, I guess. Because I was like if we're going to go with like regular candy bars. I feel like points are pretty few and far between on this show. So I'm going to say, I'm going to give you guys a point.

They already won the whole thing. Winston, what is your favorite candy bar? Snickers. What? No way. Ais Snickers man, I am. I'm a Snickers man I am. And that's a Jason state.

Wow. We were beaten in the first question. Oh, man. Okay. Not only were we beaten in the first question, the fact that Mujan had the most complicated response and then was like, but probably Twix, and that was right. Are you kidding? Halfway. Okay. Asterisk, asterisk on the win here. But next question, Mujan, can you name something Winston is allergic to? Fried food. Fried food. Okay.

Winston, can you name something? I don't know if that's an allergy. Mujan is allergic to. Bullshit. Hell yeah, hell, yeah. Wow. All right. That's what those allergy eye drops are for is for bullshit.

Yes. Mujan, what are you allergic to? Again, it's a bit of a complicated answer. Oh, my God. Oh, my. Like, recently this summer, it was think coffee on Mercer. It's something about that coffee shop gave me a terrible allergic reaction.

Wow. But the other scientific answer, I don't know if it was related, is propylene glycol. Wow. I thought, what is that? I thought it was cobalt. I mean, in a way.

Yeah, yeah. Or, yeah. Wow. All right. And Winston? Oh, is that too, Justin, everything okay? Whenever I'm recording something,

my wife takes her clothes and throws them over my head to the hamper right here. Like a maniac. She loves it. She's cackling in the back. Yeah, we could hear it. She's a maniac. I am allergic to penicillin.

Whoa. Don't ever get syphilis. Too late. That's how I found out. That's why he keeps it. That's good advice in general, regardless of an allergy. Never dead syphilis. Yeah, it's the only reason I don't want to get syphilis.

Yeah, of course. All right. Mujan. What do you think Winston's best celebrity impression is? Okay. Boy, I think his best celebrity impression, if I think about it, it probably, I would say,

Winston gives off the energy of William Shakespeare. We all know what he sounds like. Yep. Hello, Jenna. That's my number one celebrity is William Shakespeare. So it's crazy. I think of celebrity. I think Zoe Deutsch, Shakespeare.

Yeah. Yeah. Winston, what do you think Mujan's best celebrity impression is? I think Mujan's is... It's one I did for Zix once, successfully. Oh, now we get to help each other? I'm sorry, Seth. You're already in the lead.

I think I know. I know. I feel like you could do Bill Cosby. Just kidding. Oh, God. Dear, dear Lord. Disqualified, disqualify them. Don't do that one.

I feel like you could do a really good, like, I feel like you do like a Meryl Streep. Okay. Classic, Carrie. Can I guess? Sure. Allie was yours. Can we say it simultaneously, Allie?

One. Yeah. One, two, three. Gizmo. Michael Cain. Oh. No. No.

Can I answer? Yeah. It's what her. Wow. That's your best impression? That? Okay. Jeremy came back on cam.

Yeah, I got to see this. Yeah, I got to hear it now. Wait, I always need Jeremy to start it off, so then I can mimic it. Jeremy started off. I'm afraid your impression is very inaccurate. I think my impression is very good. Wow. It's wild.

You're doing Jeremy during Werner. Yeah, yeah. Oh, my goodness. I don't think I would have got that one. You self-selected that as your best impression. Which is my best impression. Now it's sort of pure. Moushan, I'm afraid the way you form your letters.

I think it's perfectly. Cool. All right. Winston, what's your best celebrity impression? Cartman. Cartman. Oh, really? Do it.

Do it. I don't do it. Let's hear it. All right. I'll do it one of the... I would let them go put me run. I'd be like, Hey, you get your bitch ass back in the kitchen.

You make me some pie. That's pretty good. That's good. We can also do all holy night as cartman. I know. It's fine. That's good. We'll get flagged for that.

Copyright from the Lord. I think it's perfect. Okay. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right, great.

No points, but I did enjoy that. Michael Kane would have. Michael K. Yeah, Michael. Okay, Mujan, if Winston had to fill in for another Zix's character, who would Winston play the best? I think Winston would have a fun time as Bargy. Okay, good, all right.

Winston, if Mujan had to fill in for another Zix character, who do you think she would be best as? I think Mujan would be a great Nermit. Wow, okay, good, nice. All right. Mujan, what did you say? Okay, well, I, you know, same thing, same deal. Like, I was like, you know, if we're going to have fun with it.

But then there's an honest answer. So I said, squeegee, but really, Nermit. Hey, wow, okay. Nice job. All right. And I said, Bargie. Yeah. Poo, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew.

They're on fire. It's amazing. It's amazing when it works. Is this four points? I was going to say William Shakespeare, but I decided to go with Bargy. That's so funny. Oh, wait, two points, right? Four.

All right, so four total. Okay. Brooklyn. Last question for Mujan and Winston. What is your damon? California. What is your damon or, you know. If your soul was an animal.

Sure. What would it be? Winston, if Mujan was an animal, what kind of animal would embody her soul? Hmm. I think Mujan would be like a bird of some kind. That narrows it down. Yeah.

A bird. A lizard bird. No. Lizard. Yeah. Yeah. Let's see. A bird.

Yeah, a little, a bird. Do you know any types of birds? Surely you know a bird. That is a different game, Jeremy. We are not testing that right now. I didn't say anything. Oh. That was my Jeremy impression.

Really? That was so good. A blue bird. A blue bird. Okay. Me? Yeah. What do you think Winston's animal is?

A fox. Oh. Wow. Like a sexy anthropomorphic fox? Like Robin Hood? Or like a... Robin Hood. Is there any other kind?

Oh, then sit back down in your chair. Get your shirt back on. Oh, God. What are you saying? All right. Winston, what is your animal that you wrote down? I think I misunderstood the question. And I said, my dog.

I love it. Uh, great, great good. I love my dog. Mujan, what would, do we have bird? Do we have generic bird? No. No, this one, this one would eat the bird, though. It's an opinionated stray cat.

Oh, cool. Yeah, great. Cat, of course. Of course. Because you'd be walking with it. Oh, yeah, cat. All right, yeah. Sorry.

Yeah. So dog and cat, great. Great. Great. I love the imagination. Dog and cat. Terrific. You guys really get the spirit.

A lot of one. I'm wondering if you guys know what animals are in this question. All right, so four points, right? Four points for Mujan are Winston. A lot of highs and lows in that round, I got to say. From Vernard and Shakespeare to you guys nailing some answers. All right, Justin and Jeremy are next. Team Justin and Jeremy.

Let's kick things off. Justin, what do you think the best dish Jeremy can cook is? Oh, boy, I don't know. Do I, are there any weight, my answer is weighted at all because I am not, haven't been recording with you for as long, you know, like, maybe there's a little. You got, you want a handicap? Yeah, like a little, like, you have known me for 15 years. I will say I have known Jeremy, and I've seen Jeremy more in the last three months than

ever before. That's true. I'm going to go with a strong guacamole. Oh, good. guess, yeah. All right. Jeremy, what do you think Justin's winning dish would be? Okay, so Justin's a dad, and so he's got to cook for the family here. So I'm going to say family favorite mac and cheese. Oh, okay. All right, Justin, what's your best dish? It's a salsa. A kiwi-apple salsa. Kiwi-apple. Legitimately known for in the upstate region.

Where there's less food to eat. And fewer people, to be honest. You're introducing people to salsa. Yeah, they stumble over the word at first. You're introducing people to other people. I thought this was a dance, they say. Jeremy, what's your best dish? I got very into making it over the pandemic,

and it is broccoli fried rice. Wow, very specific. Would you sleep on that broccoli fried rice? Would you sleep on that broccoli fried rice? you sleep in the pan a little bit so it chars so I don't know if it's good to sleep on aromatic though although I do make guacamole a lot that was a very that was a solid guess are you saying you wish that you had said are you saying that Justin was more I'm saying it's not it's not something I don't make and I'm like I do make it and I feel good about it when I make it

I know Jeremy better than he knows himself as well I think that's what we're saying yeah great all right next question Justin which type of medieval weapon do you think Jeremy would wield if given the opportunity? This is a tough one. Jeremy, taller man. Yeah. True.

Get up and over. Certainly by medieval standards. Yes, definitely. Yeah, foot and a half taller than most. Yeah. Two men. In celebrity William Shakespeare's time. His own height is the real.

I believe. He might have sounded something a little bit like this. I'm going to go, I'm going to go with an axe. All right. Jeremy, what medieval weapon do you think Justin would wield? Okay, it's a good question. I'm going to say Justin has sort of a roguish element that might put him in a band of merry men. And so I'm going to say quarterstaff.

Oh, wow, cool. That's cool. All right, Justin, what's your medieval weapon of choice? It's a sword. Why did we make it so hard for ourselves? We just want swords. We just want swords. We want swords.

And I love it. I'm not tall, so I said sword. You're tall, so he said long sword. I was like, I guess if we're going to be specific, I'll say longsword. That's really funny. All right. Next. Let me just say, I think this is where we're really going to shine.

Okay, yeah, yeah, I feel good about this. So to give you slightly fewer options than medieval weapons, Justin, what chipmunk from, of course, as we all know, the problematic found family comedy, Alvin, the chipmunks, what chipmunk do you think Jeremy would be? Are you saying the found family are the chipmunks or chipmunks and Dave? Are you suggesting that the chipmunks are not biological brothers? That's what I think you're suggesting. I'm saying they're a real family. We're about 30 seconds away from becoming an Alvin in the Chipmunks podcast based on the content of these movies. I think we talked about Alvin on another one.

We put more time into it. No. All right. Jeremy has big Simon energy, and I've always said that. Absolutely. That's because of the glasses. Exactly. And everything else.

And Jeremy, what do you think, what do you think Justin Lans going going back to the roguish energy i think i think justin is an alvin yeah yeah yeah got to agree what do you think blow okay there you go wow that was a guaranteed win yeah that was a solid choice so for audio purposes let's say let's say let's clarify that they both were correct i think wow is enough to say that yes alvin alvin yeah uh all right two points there Okay, another one, this might, oh boy, this might also be a slam dunk. Justin, what do you think Jeremy's favorite animated series of all time is? This is tougher. There's a lot of ways to go.

Really tough choice here, because you've got to go, you either go genre or you go comedy. Sure. And I think I'm going to go with Avatar the Last Airbender. Oh, wow. Okay, good guess. Good guess, Jeremy. What do you think Justin's favorite animated series would be? I don't know. So what I'm going to do is take a wild stab. That's the only way to answer this question.

And I'm going to say the Star Wars adjacent show droids featuring the adventures of C3PO and R2D2. All right, Justin, do we have droids? That is a crazy answer. I love the esoteric nature. I can't imagine that's anyone's favorite. No, it truly is not. It's quite bad. I would say adventure time.

Hell yeah. Good answer. Good job. Jeremy, what is your favorite animated series of all time? I only got into Avatar in like the last few years, but I do think it's great. But my all-time, Numeru No. Oh, Cowboy Bebop. Wow.

I re-watched it. Wow. We watched it recently just as good as the first time I watched it. Loved it. Oh, yeah. All right, guys. One more chance to put. points on the board here favorite we have points on the board if you'll remember sorry additional points

uh justin what do you think jeremy's favorite dessert is very tough um it's a con this is a controversial answer but i'm going to say it anyway i'm going to go with you i'm with you jose some people love it some people love it i i think that just Justin is a classic kind of guy, and he's a brownie guy. He likes a chocolate, like a fudge brownie. I can't believe. How did you get that? I was like, there's no shot.

This is barely a dessert. This is like a lunch dessert. No, come on. It's a sweet lunch dessert. It's a classic dessert. I like no desserts. Mint chocolate chip ice cream. Brownie is, to me, that was the guest of the game so far.

That was the pick of the game. No, no, no. The guess of the game is still Mujan detailing for us, the healthy dark chocolate. $18 bar that she actually likes, and then being like, okay, but Twix. Yeah. Brownie is the parentheses twix of dessert guesses.

Alde do you want me to host the... Oh, sure, sure, sure. Yep, and now I'll hand over hosting duties to Jeremy for round four, which is Shane and me. We've got to get our fabulous host in the game, and we've got to get our sound rod in the game. We're talking Alden and Shane. They've got five questions.

Let's see how well they know each other. Now, different to the biopic question, Alden, Shane gets to pick a celebrity co-star for his blockbuster action a comedy film, who does Shane choose to be his co-star? I mean, that's tough. I think it's hard to know what Shane would answer, but I know what I would answer for him, and it would be someone who is like...

Okay, that's the game. Well, I guess... This is good. This is good. I'm going to pick, like, someone who's like a very popular A-lister right now, Zendaya. I'm going to say it's going to be Shane and Zendaya in a buddy.

I mean, I'd watch it. I'd watch it. Shane, Alden gets to pick one celebrity co-star for his blockbuster action comedy. Who's that co-star? I do think of Alden and Seth as a sort of a pair. And before they even answered, I had this picked out. I thought Statham, it would be a two-hander, two stars going for it together. Me and Statham.

Do you think that means that Shane and Seth now have a point together? or there's now a secret fifth team that has one point. Is it Statham or Statement? Which statement? All right. Alden? Who'd you pick? Please God have called it to fit Stanley Coochie.

I don't think I would have chosen Statham, but I kept coming back to somebody. I knew it's going to be too esoteric, but I just love him to death. Don Lee. He's a Korean action star. That was my second one. I almost put Don. Really? No, I don't even know who that is.

He's awesome. he's like a Korean Jackie Chan he's like a very funny like physical and like very funny dude great comic timing Alden and the Jackie Chan

of Korea in that's right dude where's my car too all right Shane so if I was in an action movie

I'd be the co and not the star that's the way I like it I'm a bass player I'm a sound guy I would pick Keanu baby oh wow

now that's See, you guys are so similar, though. You sort of have a Keanu vibe. Well, Bill and Ted is a great series, so it works. I shoot classic peas in a pod. Fair enough. Good answer. Good answer.

Okay. Next question, much simpler. Alden, Shane, we're at a diner. What's the go-to diner order? We'll go. Shane first this time. What's Alden ordering? Well, okay, this is tough because it's breakfast or is it lunch?

It's a diner. We're talking, it's 24 hours. hours, baby. They have breakfast anytime. But what, what do you order? I mean, Alden is a classic guy. He likes the sweets. If he's going breakfast food, he's doing a stack of pancakes and bacon and eggs. If he's doing lunch food, he's doing some classic BLT, maybe club. I'm going to go with club. Okay. Wow. That answer is so good because he sort of said the whole menu, which is the actual answer. Yeah. Alden? You know, I think, I think Shane, I think Shane, I think Shane, I think Shane is going to be a lunch guy over a breakfast guy. I would say BLT for for Shane. Okay. Shane. Corn, beef.

Hash. Corby hash, a diner classic. That's so wrong. That's the lunch. That's the lunch. Corned beef hash is delicious. That is honestly one of my, I honestly probably should have chosen that if I remembered it.

My choice was Belgian waffle. Belgian waffle. He got you. I got close with the pink. Sweets for breakfast, but we cannot award the point, I'm afraid. Okay. Celebrity, you'd be most excited to meet.

Now, this is interesting, because we, you know, we have had the opportunity to, you know, rub elbows with some A-listers or at least B or C-listers, depending on your math. Alden, who do you think Shane would be most pumped to meet? Well, I know Shane is a big fan of alternative comedy.

I think he could definitely, there could be like a Nathan Fielder or somebody on this list. But I think I've got to go classic. I think I'd say Bob Dylan. Oh, sure. Sure. Shane, same question. I think that Alden is a man of fine taste and he would go for the best of the best. The biggest celebrity on Earth currently living is Paul McCartney.

Cablamo. Paul McCartney. Nailed it. That's right. For the folks at home listening and not watching our feed on Rumble, he wrote down Paul McCartney. Mr. Beast. Yeah, Shade, what was yours?

Mr. Bees? This is one that I thought we would have an overlap. I also had Paul. Wow. That is good. Pretty good, though. Pretty good to both sides. I mean, that is a good.

If you're going to use it to meet somebody, it's like, that's a pretty good one. Also, guys, I have a surprise. Is it Paul? Are you with Paul right now? Hey, guys, it's me, Pam McCartney. Winston, why have you done this impression more often on the show? Paul, Paul, why did the Beatles break up? I heard there was something to do with the Thorpeg-He or something.

John, wouldn't miss Beckman? All right. All right, all right, all then. Shane, if you were a first. Food, what food would you be? If you were a food. We had a lot of food questions submitted. A lot of food questions.

I was like, I was going to say, these were not our questions. These were submitted. All right. So for Shane, this is tough. I think Shane, I think Shane would be a New York style pizza. I think like a brick oven pizza. Okay, yeah. All right.

Shane, same question. Alden is a great cook so this one was very tough for me I was going to say I mean I decided to just go for something that I know that he does very well it does fit his personality something that is like unassuming yet when done with finesse can be life changing that is a Thanksgiving dinner roll wow as white as white can be but just like our gorgeous I love your dinner rolls, man.

Thank you. Thank you. Alden. What did you say? My answer, unfortunately, was a French dip. French dip. Not very French, but juicy. Yes.

He calls his mustache French dip. Yeah, yeah. Oh, God. And Shane, what did you say? I decided to save paper, and I just went with corn. Beef. Beef. the hash is a smash

what can you say it works for so many so many questions thank you Jeremy for filling in for host there how many points did we get I believe you got one for Paul McCartney yeah okay one point

total yeah sorry Shane didn't guess Don Lee I couldn't think of anybody else I'm sorry yeah yeah if there's someone to blame there yeah right next round is this is one for all of us I call this game superlatives we're all going to get a question again these are all questions posted on discord in our pitch room thank you so much for all of these suggestions this is superlatives so we're all going to answer a question posed to all of us but the answers are all members of this cast so

for example who has the coolest mustache you might you might ask it's just So everybody who chooses the most popular choice We'll get a point So if four people chose Justin for his best mustache And nobody else got that many votes Those people will all get four points For those of you following at home Winston has had to call it a night

But he has emailed us His answers for these following questions So we will read them as we go All right so we're going to ask a question We're going to hold up our cast member And count up the points Can you also vote yourself too? Of course, of course

Wonderful. Most helpful to have nearby if a bear is attacking. Okay. Ready? Yes, everybody ready? Most helpful to have nearby if a bear is attacking. Seth, Jeremy, Allie, Alden, Alden. Who is set?

Who is set? I got one. So three Aldens. We got three. Shane, Ali, and I all said Alden. And then Seth, Shane, myself, and Allie all got one vote. I chose Seth because he's a big outdoorsman, and I think I could outrun him. You're from Alaska.

Yeah, that's exactly why I chose Alden, too. That's my logic. I wouldn't be able to identify what kind of bear it was before it murdered us. Great. Great. Yep. That's info I need. Yeah, that's actually a Codiac bear, not a grizzly bear.

Oh, great. All right, great. Thank you, guys. Who said Alden? Me. I did. Me, Shane, and Allie. Okay, you each get a point.

Nice. All right, continue on. Who would do the least badly on American Gladiators? Least badly? What a well-phrased version of this question. Accurate but mean way to frame it. All right. Oh, this is a tough one.

Oh, this is a tough one. I'm changing my vote. All right. Three, two, one. I voted for myself. I was going to do that. Wow, we have a three-way tie. Wow, we have three-way tie.

Muge and I said Winston. Justin and Alden said Justin, and then Allie and Seth said Muge. There's only one way to determine it, and that's for you guys to go on American questions. Wait, no, let's do a tiebreaker. Now you can only choose one of those three people. No, Shane has to pick one of those three.

Oh, yeah, Shane has to pick. Yeah, Shane has to pick. Between Winston, Mujan, and Justin. You're both distance runners, which is why I wrote Mujan and then I switched to Justin because I chose Mujan

because she is always walking far distances. Have you seen her flex her arms? She's the only person who participated in the Tribeca soccer. That's true. This is great. Keep talking, keep talking. But a lot of it's about dodging tennis balls,

really. I bet Mouge can dodge a tennis ball. I can do it. In video game terms, her hitbox is extremely small. Can you get that giant hamster ball moving, though? All right, Shane, who do you choose of those three? Justin? Okay.

Justin wins? I have probably watched the most episodes of American Gladiators. Oh, that is not true. Wow. Honestly, it's all you're rude after everyone spoke so much about me, and then you chose Justin. Not convinced. Really says something there. All right, next question.

Who leaves the buffet feeling the worst? I love this question. This is a rough. Okay. This is a good one. Three, two, one. Wow. We got another, we got another tough one.

Another three-way tie. Three-way tie between Mujan, me, and Jeremy. I did say Winston because I remember what it was like when he ate the hot chicken. But I would say a close. runner-up would be Mujan because she eats so well that if she were to participate that's why I voted for you Mujan because I know

you have you also don't yeah you don't like junk food you're like yeah if you had to go to buffet I probably have a high tolerance of it because it's so new to my body that may be true I even though buffets aren't free like I just know Mujan is like

aficionado of free food at events and that I feel like is buffet a And you guys voted for me because I make bad decisions. Yes, I've been with you when you're like, oh, no, why? Yeah. I think Alden can maybe do a little too much if he wants to. Sure. Oh, yeah. I'm known for it. And he wants to. But the Mujon's have it for the buffet.

Then Mujon's have it. Okay. The next question, who can be trusted most with the power of flight? To fly, not to get on an airplane. The power to fly. And to trust means that they would be successful in it, or complete, what does that mean? They wouldn't use it for nefarious means. They use it for good. Oh, use it for good. Just, okay.

Interesting. Three, two, one. Seth, Ali, Jeremy, Shane, Seth, Jeremy, Shane. Okay. It's another. Another three. Ty. This is a

terribly designed game. It used to be three-way ties. No, we know Seth doesn't want it, which is why I think you would be... I'd be trusted. I just wouldn't use it. And period should be Jeremy because he already looks like Superman.

That's true. Alden, I believe you're the tiebreaker. Yeah. Alden, you chose me, Allie, and nobody else did, so now you get to decide between Jeremy, Shane, and Seth. Jeremy, Shane and Seth.

For good. remember that part yeah for good right for good for good oh boy you guys are all just such good boys I gotta say shit head I gotta say Shane I think I'm gonna give it to Shane on this one yeah yeah you know what I think he's got it all right all right last two absolute power corrupts who is the first to fall victim wow if we were all given absolute power who would who would make it weird first who would be corrupt this is going to end the podcast I know, this is a rude one. Oh, gosh.

I don't know. It's too many good boys and gals, right? I know, we try. We try our best. I'm going to say, okay. Does everybody have one? Yeah.

Three, two, one. I put myself. Oh, Allie wins. Allie wins. The alleys have it. Wow, the alleys have it. Oh, boy. I'm glad that I picked it, and Allie also thought.

Yeah, yeah. Now, Allie, why would you think that of yourself? Look at her face. She's already corrupted. She's corrupted right now. She knows. She just knows. You've made too many enemies.

Yeah, you've got too many scores to settle. All right. Next, group game. Our final game, now we're flipping things around, and we are going to ask a question of each person on the cast, and the rest of us are going to answer. The closest or the most accurate gets a point. We'll start with Jeremy, because he needs to go.

Sorry. Jeremy, what is a place you'll never set foot in again? And I'll clarify the rules. It is a place. Like a destination you would travel to. Gotcha. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. I will go first. Disney World in Orlando, Florida. I've only been once as a two and a half year old, so couldn't judge. Okay, all right. Couldn't judge.

Two and a half, wow. I would like to say Burlington, Vermont. A fine guess, a place I have been, but no reason not to return to Burlington. All right. I will say that hotel we all went to in San Francisco that ultimately gave three of us COVID. Okay. The Army. Close.

I don't know that that was the hotel's fault. We don't need to name the hotel. No, I think I probably would go back there. Okay. Great COVID. Exceptional COVID. The city of Miami. That was going to be my guess.

No, not that one. Never been. Wouldn't know. I'm going to say Austin, Texas. I've been to Austin, Texas. And I certainly would return for their delicious queso dip. Have you heard of it? This is I brought you my,

case of it. You gotta go for the casso. Especially, I would return to a bar called Casino El Camino that has a really good burger. Well, okay. Okay, all right. Set. Okay.

I'm going to double down on Austin. No, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, shoot. I'm going to say Reno, Nevada. Wow, close, close. I'm afraid it's the worst city to gamble in or just exist in period. And I'm talking about Atlantic City. What a gross, disgusting place.

On one night, I watched four different people vomit. And I was like, never again. Not one time in my life will I return. My gut was a bad gambling city. And you were right. You just picked. Wow. All right.

Cool. So Jeremy gets a point, but nobody else does. All right. So how many points do you have right now before you go? Six currently. Six points. Great job, Jeremy. Nice.

All right. I'm going to send you answers. Okay, great. That's fine. That's fine. Thanks, Jeremy. Bye. Bye.

All right. Up next is Seth. The question for Seth, I love this question, submitted on Discord. How many feathers does Seth own? What a great, almost knowable question for all of it. Oh, Ali has one. I'll go first. Now, I want to be clear that the language says own, not that he's collected.

Purchased. Can anyone own a feather? And that is why I would like to say that Seth owns one feather quill pen. Ooh, okay. I like the use. I was going to say three peacock for decoration. Wow. Wow.

Yes. I'm aware that, you know, Seth as kids, so this is maybe you buy, I feel like kids love feathers. So I was going to, I'm going to go in the middle. I'm going to say two. Two just regular old feathers. Purchase for a child. Purchase for a child. One each.

If we're just going with own and not collect, I'm going to have to be logical and say thousands, down pillows. No, that doesn't count. That doesn't count. That's true. That's smart thinking right there. Yeah. So they have to be visible? What's the line?

If you guys are going to get in a feather garment, could it be hundreds? I'm going to say 27. 27, okay. Beautiful. Wow. You haven't noticed I've been visibly counting feathers this entire Zoom call. I'm going to say, let's assume he has a couple of like badminton birdies or something that have multiple feathers from like the viscings. I'm going to say 12 feathers.

I'm going to say 12 feathers. That includes a quill pin and maybe a couple of the random things that have feathers. Sure, sure, sure, solid. All right, Seth, how many? All right, well, the answer I wrote is five. But one of those feathers was collected. The owned feathers are four. Walk us through those feathers.

Two in a dream catcher. Of course. Two attached to a plush nermit made by a mission to Zix fan. But did you buy them? Well, I think if you're given something, you own it. No. That's fair. Yes.

I agree with that. Yeah. Okay. That's how most holidays work. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I, yeah, I've discounted the vulture feather that I picked up in my name.

I think five. So you think five, the vulture feather counts? 100%. Okay. Did anyone guess five? No. No. No.

I guess three. Oh. Yeah, so I think Justin wins. Justin wins. All right, Justin. All right, so we'll see if we can get Winston away in on this from beyond the grave, but he said he did have an answer. He said he wrote it down. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Okay, so Winston has left his answer at Shane's house. Winston develops a crippling gambling addiction. What is he gambling on? I think this is very easy. Pony's. I was going to say the ponies. I have the ponies as well.

Wow. Yeah. I mean, I'll do classic. I'll just say poker. Okay. Jeremy also can guess Kentucky Derby, so ponies. What about you, Robin? I was thinking just those like mindless slots.

Like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Crippling gambling addiction is slavishing. Oh, no. That is crippling. No. Yeah. Eighty-five-year-old Winston.

Yeah. I did say win. In Atlantic City, where Jeremy it was right now. That's my machine. And Shane, what's your guess? I can't guess now. Oh, you looked at it already.

Okay. Yeah. Well, I wish I had a Cartman impression in my back pocket to get his voice just right, but it's a gambling addiction, betting on the ponies. Wow, everybody gets a point but me.

And me, I said poker. No poker, okay. You had the first syllable right. Me and Mujan. All right. Next is me. The question is my least favorite food trend. Okay.

I have one hot out the gate. Alden's least favorite food trend is when the food is under the glass and it's like filled with smoke and then they lift the glass and all the smoke fills out. Wow. That's good. I think Alden's least favorite food trend is any, I don't know if this counts, but like anything that would have a line. Like an unnecessary line, like a hot thing. A line?

Like it's too popular? It's too trendy. A line to wait for it. Oh, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, got you. Alden is not a hipster, so I don't think you would be reactionary towards any trend that's actually good. I think you would honestly just not like stuff with truffle crap on it. Like truffle fries, truffle this, trouble that. That's where you're wrong.

He ordered the truffle on top of the egg when we went to high tea. Oh, shit. That's not the only time he's ordered the truffle when I've been with it. Yeah, truffle when we went to that Italian restaurant. Yeah, the shaved truffle. Oh, well, maybe that was when it was on top of the egg. Yeah, yeah. Truffle.

I have one big long of truffles. That's not a mustache. That's just a truffles. He hates the trend of there's sometimes not being truffles. All right, Seth, what's your guest? I feel like there's some kind of food video that you hate. It's like the fast slam, boop, like that type of stupid cooking video.

Like a four-hour recipe in like a four-second TikTok. Sorry, I didn't mean to slam boom, bop, y'all. Like compressed time-lapse, stupid. Okay, I love this. Justin. These are all terrible trends, by the way. Yes, I'm going to go with over photography of food. Oh, I do hate that.

Yeah. Oh, hold on. Let me see what Jeremy guessed. Deconstructed Foods was Jeremy's guess. All very good. Like the peanut butter next to a jelly, next to bread, all served on different plates. I was going to say the trend of like a recipe blog that's like 12 pages of bullshit. But I don't think that's a food trend because I didn't put that. My answer was truffle oil on shit. Oh, wait. I love truffles, but I think truffle oil is gross.

I do it. It's not. I think it's overdone. I mean, it tastes okay, but it's everywhere. Too much, too much, I say. Good job, Shane. Wow. Yeah, good job.

All right. Next, Mujan. Mujan starts a cult. What type of cult is it? Of personality. Is that your whole answer? is that that's not enough probably that could be enough that could be sure what does that mean um i'll expand on that i think uh what was the one that um mad mad country was about where they all

wore different like robes that matched oh with the bog one yeah oh yeah yeah Shane grew up near them right uh no but the family story is that my parents were on their way to Oregon to go see what they were all about and my grandma and my grandma said no Oh, that's awesome. Good job, Grandma. And they were famously featured in an episode of Chippendale Rescue Rangers as the Cuckoo Cola Cult, which Jeremy wouldn't understand if he were here. Wow.

Yeah, he would love that. Okay, the cult that I believe Mujan would lead would be centered on walking. You know, it's like, it's not about where you're walking to, but it is about keeping the body in fluid motion at all time. Oh, wow, cool, like Tai Chi. Very nice. would be like something bicostal like that you like that if you if you go back and forth between New York and L enough you can exist simultaneously in both places yeah yeah yeah only one

exists at one time yeah my guess is that it's somehow a roommate based cult because Mujan pitches these like sitcom ideas so much in Zix we're like and it's like and then there's and then and you know what they have a kooky roommate we did have a a lot of accidental roommates on the show. Yeah, I don't know exactly how that figures into a cult, but it's something, it's a cult where, like, everyone has to, like, rotate roommates in some

in some fashion that Mujan dictates for her own amusement. That's funny. My guess is that the cult is that everything on X-Files was real, and that's our belief. Who says it ain't? Who says it eight?

Yeah. Okay. Well, that's her conspiracy theory more than her. Jeremy's guest was multi-level marketing. Okay, sure. The cult we're all sort of in. Yeah, exactly. Moushan, what do you think your cult would be?

Okay, here's my complicated answer. I am Iranian. I came from a country that had basically a theocratic dictatorship. And so I am very anti-cult or believing in one person is the greatest. At UCB, if there's ever a cult-like feelings, I hated that. But I was still part of it. I don't believe one person is ever better than the other. But if I were to create a cult, it would be none of the ones that you have pitched.

It would be the sunrise compliment cult in which at sunrise we all leave our establishments, wherever we are staying, and we are forced to compliment someone, no matter what. And then we go back into our hellholes that are our lives. That's nice. How does it get carried away and end up being murder? Well, the sun is our lord. And when the sun goes away, it is chaos and basically the purge at night. It's the persia at night.

Sure, sure. But then when you wake up and you compliment and then the sun rises, yeah. Got it. All right, great. Well, nobody got any points for that. Nope. All right. Shane, yours is the Beatles Order of Supremacy.

So your ranking from best to worst of the Beatles. Wow. Wow. In terms of musical, great. Right. So I am going to say, and these are not my opinions, but I believe this is a decent guess at Shane's opinion. George, Ringo, Paul, John.

Wow. Interesting. No. I'm going to go Paul John, George Ringo. I'm going to go Paul, George, Ringo. I'm going to go Paul, George, John Ringo. Because George is a very talented musician That is also my answer

Justin, you're Paul George John. Paul George John Ringo. Okay, mine is Paul George Ringo John. Nice. Wow. Jeremy's is George Paul Ringo John. I think that was mine as well. Okay. So I think that there's an order in which people

have favorite Beatles. Your first favorite is John. then you get cool and then it's George and you get really cool and it's Ringo and then you get Galaxy Brain and it's Paul so mine is the reverse of that it's Paul Ringo, George, John okay

and there's nobody that I have less respect for than somebody who S talks Ringo that's why I had Ringo so high in my I know you love Ringo. Ringo is amazing but Paul is the best I think Paul George Ringo John would be my ranking. My personal ranking. Oh, so I guessed you right. That is a tough

one. George is great. They're all great. They're the Beatles. It's Pete Best. Okay. All right. Pete Best. He's literally the best. It's in the name. It's in his name. Oh man, nobody got any points for that one. Bernard Purdy. He counts. Yokeau.

Billy Preston. Allie, your go-to karaoke song. Now I want to be clear. I hate karaoke. I don't like to do it. I hate to go and watch others do it. But if I must, I will only ever sing this one song. And I have sung it every time I have gone to karaoke.

What's Up by Four Non Blonde's? That's my guess. Great guess. Next. I'm going to say I'm a bitch by Meredith, the woman who sing that song. Brooks. Perfect. And yet you didn't guess me as being corrupted by absolute power.

That's a powerful song. I'm going with wind beneath my wings. It's gorgeous. By Bet Midler? Yes. Jeremy's guess was Bring Me to Life by Evanescence. Hilariously good. That's a good one.

I'm going to go, I'm Blue by Eiffle Five. It's a nice song. for people who don't like doing karaoke and want to punish people in the audience because they're on the stage that's a thing

that's why I would say what's new pussycat by Tom Jones Oh man These are I envisioning you singing all of these songs brings me a lot of joy Kelly

And again envisioning me singing any of these songs truly does like underscore how how miserable I am to invite to karaoke

but there's one song I will sing and it's because I know all the lyrics and it is Wheatis' Teenage So I was pretty close. I was pretty close with four non-blondes, I think.

Good song, yeah. Wow, good song. And listeners, stick around to the post-credit scene where we will hear Allie singing the song. A cappella singing. No, let's license it. All right.

Let's spend the money. So, last but not least, Justin, what makes you the angriest? angriest the angriest I would say missing the subway in the next

one coming in like 30 minutes that is that is annoying politics someone's saying they're going to do something and then they don't

oh man that's very good bullies nice good Jeremy's guess is bad traffic My guess would be people who like leave you behind as a friend friend dumps

wait, I'm going to update mine and I'm going to update mine and I'm going to say Vaxi There we go, there we go 5G I'm going to update mine and I'm going to say the woke mind virus see all that i think alden actually yours is more accurate than what i was thinking so that's i feel

like i need to give you the points i was going to say having to go to bed what that makes me so every night you're just so angry no no just if you're ever in the same room with justin at night he'll always let out i'm not tired right before he goes to bed like i'm a child i am a child Wow. That's true. What makes you so angry at? I've been on tour with Justin several times, and he is like a toddler. He's like walking around the hotel room.

He's very excited. He'll be like, let's watch a movie. He'll turn it on immediately fall asleep. That's adorable. You have like permanent sleepover vibes. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. He's dipped my hand into a warm glass of water so many times.

Got him. Folks, thank you so much for. for tuning into this very short and succinct game show that we had figured out way before we started it. And in first place, with seven points, Justin Tyler, ladies and gentlemen. Congratulations. Well, well earned.

Right on his tail, Jeremy and Allie with six points each. Wow, what a close race we had today. I feel like we learned a lot about each other. What do you think? I learned that Justin knows us all the best. Right, Justin, the newest person. He knows us all intimately in a way. Justin has been here since the beginning.

Justin's OG. Yeah. Mujan, I just door-dashed you a 24 pack of twigs. That's really nice. Thanks once again to our listeners on Discord for submitting these hilarious questions for us to answer about ourselves and each other. Very fun. If you would like to submit questions or anything else for our next episode of these One Shot Podcast, you can do so by supporting our show. at maximum fun.org slash join and then joining our Discord

where a bunch of like-minded, fun, cool nerds like you and us are all hanging out all the time. So thanks again for listening, and we will see you next month or this month, later this month. And we'll see you next month in September. Thanks for listening. See you next time. Hi. This has been guessing our picks.

Goodbye. Bye, everybody. Thank you.