Mission To Zyxx - Hello From the Tragic Cavern

Episode Date: June 11, 2026

Our adventurers do the smartest thing and split up: Four (plus Squelch) into the unnaturally dark caves, two to confront Booket’s ex-lover. Who will take the high road and who will embarrass themselves thoroughly? The answer may not surprise you! Help support this show and unlock bonus content! Become a member at https://maximumfun.org/joinzyxxSupport at higher levels/more shows: https://maximumfun.org/joinThanks so much!

Welcome back, listeners, creatures, warriors, and bards of all kinds. Welcome to D6. When we last left our adventures, they had split up. They say always split the party, and we decided to pay that off. So four of our adventures have set off to root out evil in a series of caves in hopes of restoring quarial's sullied reputation in the eyes of the Rodian church. And Larry and Samseys have decided to go. have a little talk with the fordsman Dan Siego, who we have recently learned is Bookett's former lover. You know, Larry?

Yes. You know why I've come here with you? Because you're my wingman. Because you get me because you know that when there's an ex trying to cause business in my relish, I need a little bit of backup, you know? No, I just thought, you know, honestly, like going down into a cave and fighting things is something we do all the time. I mean, the song is going to be, you know, we went down in a cave. I know.

Oh, yeah. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-dun-dun-dun-d. I mean, it's a pretty good riff, but like this is about romance, you know, about jealousy, about, you know, just really juicy creative things for a bard. Like, like this is what songs are made of. Yes. Yes. You've spent your time doing bardic adventures, and you're decided to you want to, metaphorically plug in and go electric with another.

Yeah, you got to sue somebody. Either swims the bodic adventures with several men, but you got to sue somebody. See, I like this. That bug, that was a big bug that's been here. So, just to set the scene a little bit, you guys are having this conversation right outside of the church. your fellow for adventures, Booket, Quariel, Gigley and Dwayne have headed off south back to...

Goodbye, babe! Back off to the... She didn't even turn around. Nobody said goodbye to me either. And you guys are standing in... What could be generously described as sort of the center of this village, although, you know, there's only a few dozen people in the town,

so there's a little crossroads between the main road that you're on and sort of a side road that leads off to what looks like a few houses and maybe maybe a shop or two. But if you continue on north of the road, you can see from where you're standing, you can see out over a cliff onto the concurrent rivers to enormous parallel rivers that run from the mountains to the sea. And, you know, you see the road ahead of you kind of dip below, you know, your line of vision as it kind of heads down, system of switchbacks down to the river edge.

So you guys have not reached the Ford yet So you have a chance to kind of decide what you're going to do and how So continue your conversation Just kind of give me a sense of what's your goal here Do you want to just head straight to the Ford and talk to Dansego? Yeah, I sort of do You know what?

This guy's been grinding my gears for like 45 minutes You know what I'm talking about? It's truly driving me crazy I don't like to let things linger You know what I mean? It's like a thorn juries. jammed into my undergarments, you know? Yeah.

You're tangled up in glue. Exactly, the glue that binds me to my true love bucket. Because here's to think he's a fortsman. Like, what does that even mean? It's not like he has, Ford is just like water. It's like where the path that goes into water. It's not even a job. Totally.

And just I reserve the permission to change it from Ford'sman because it's going to be hard to rhyme. So. Swordsman? Yeah. Swordsman. Swordsman's a good one. Orsman? Yeah, I can't think of any.

Oh, sorry, I'm not a character. Yeah, nothing's coming to mind. Yeah. I'll figure it out. You know, I believe with you. I guess what I'm saying is like, this guy, honestly, he seems like a scumbag because he doesn't have a real job. He does, though, right?

Anyone who's like Ford's men who works around a Ford named Ford bad. Right. I can't imagine having. Sure. You're named after a puddle or like a divot. What's your job, Larry? My job? Yeah, what's your job?

Well, I'm a bit wayward, a bit of a wanderer. Sure. Okay, just checking. I'm just getting stuff down for the song. Okay, yeah. I'm going to call you a highwayman. Is that fine? Well, I don't technically rob people just for money.

You have. For pleasure and for conversation. What's a better conversation starter than jamming a knife just close enough to someone's doublet to make them take you seriously? You know? Sure. It's called Breaking the Ice, Sam'sys. We're walking towards the Ford, right?

As we're saying all this. Are you? That's up to you. That's a good question. Yeah. Look, I can see him down there. See, we've got to take this little switchback back and forth. See that little head down there?

You can't see him down there. You can't see him. Oh, sorry. That's a bird. Sorry, that's a bird. Okay. But this is the way. Here's the thing.

I feel like he's a bird type, you know, a little flitty. Like, titchy. Oh, okay. Okay. Not like part bird. I don't know. Maybe. That's what I'm saying.

I don't know. I just saw an eagle rip a person in half. I don't want to deal with that. Let's solve some of your PTSD as well. I just want to confirm. You guys are. towards the Ford now. Yeah, let's go down to the phone.

All right, great. So as you continue talking. Should we have bought armor or something? I don't know. I don't know. That's up to you. We're just having a conversation, Samcies. We'll see what happens.

But if he crosses me even a little bit, oh, I'm going to just tee off on this little guy, this fordsman. Everyone said I was like worse for wear or something that I looked bad. You do look bad. You do look bad. So you've taken a long rest, which means you are fully healed, fully healed. you're fine. But you've just decided to take a break from what you know is going to be an obvious series of fights. But that doesn't mean that you can't get into a fight now. You're at full

hit points, so you're good. Okay, great. So you head up the road to the edge of this, almost like a canyon where the river is down at the bottom. And as the road kind of turns downhill, it cuts sharply to the left and there's a series of switchbacks kind of cut into the side of the valley there that heads down and there's, you know, lush foliage. You can't really see where the fort is, but you go down, turn to the right and then to the left and you work your way down further and further. And keep in mind, this sort of ravine is maybe 60 or 80 feet tall. The river is carved into a very deep valley into the countryside here. So you're working your way down. And as you get down, you start to hear very fast rushing water. The river is much stronger than you would have

anticipated. And you realize I don't need to make your role for this that the torrential rains from yesterday have no doubt added to the force of the river and the amount of water in it. So you're realizing that this is going to be not an easy crossing. So as you head down, you know, the foliage turns to rocks and pebbles as you get closer to the edge of the water. And as you make a turn, you see that you're actually hitting. Rock bottom? No, no, actually. Where the path should be is completely flooded out.

There's just rushing water there. And the level of the river. has risen maybe, you know, five or six feet from where it was before. So if there was a forward here at one point, it's no longer here. And go ahead and roll both of you for perception. Where in the world is Dan Ciego? I rolled a 13. Okay.

Okay. Perceptive. So the water is loud. It's sort of rapid z. But Larry, with his keen half-ling ears, can hear in the distance someone shouting. It sort of sounds like they're maybe in trouble. You can't really see because basically as the switchback is sort of turning to the left and the path is kind of flooded with water, it kind of keeps you from getting out and seeing around the corner.

But Larry, you can definitely hear someone shouting for help. Is it on our side or on the other side? It's just out in the water somewhere. You can't tell, you know, it's further out than the path is, as all you can tell. And we're right on the edge. Essentially, yeah. So you're seeing across the river, the river's a good 100 feet, 150 feet maybe wide. And there's really a lot of water happening.

So you have a choice to, if you want to figure out who's making that noise, you can either try to get around the corner, which means maybe waiting into the water, or you can try to figure out another way to see through the foliage there. Hmm So I hear this guy Someone in the yelling for help Oh yeah Oh also I should just say

Out of character for a minute I want to make sure that you're using All the tools at your disposal You all have some equipment And some spells So if you need to take some time And look through To see what might be of use

Feel free I don't want you to forget That you have A certain set of skills Yes Yes I I don't have a lot of useful things.

Yeah. They have dark vision. Ball bearings. Here's the thing. We can't see who's calling for help because of this foliage. Is there any way to burn it down? Wow. Right to that.

You and Bucket are a good match. There's a reason we. Yeah. Well, I mean, we can wait in the... How deep... Well, Larry's a halfling, so he's only about... three and a half feet tall. Sorry.

You're a half elf, which means you have a little bit of more stability in the water, and you're a lot taller. So the water is not particularly deep. It's just that the path is sort of washed out. So you could probably make your way around the corner with a successful but fairly easy. I guess athletics check. Okay. What's your athletics like?

I'm plus three. Okay, great. You want to give a shot to see, kind of see around the corner. corner there? A negative one. Yeah, I'll let me... I mean, we could also just, can we trundle through the foliage, or is it like, I mean, can we kind of like cack through it? So, it's hard to describe, but imagine that, you know, the slope is like a, you know, 45 degree angle. So there's kind of these thick bushes between each of the switchbacks. You could try to do that if you wanted to, but you're right at the water's edge. So I don't know how much closer you could get before you'd hit water anyway, but you can definitely try it. No, I'll just wait. Why don't you weigh it out a little bit? Did you want to get on my shoulders? Yes.

Okay. I was going to suggest it. Great. So Larry's going to climb on Seamsie's shoulders. That was going to be a DC-12 athletics check, but now it is a DC-16 athletics check. Okay. So go ahead and roll. Yes.

Roll your athletics. Oh, 16. 16. Okay. All right. Wow. Yes. Sam's played water polo in high school.

Yeah. Great. That's awesome. So Sam'sies is on Larry's shoulders. No, Larry's on Samsey's shoulders. Sorry, Larry's on Samsey's shoulders. Let's not be crazy. So you make your way around the corner, and the water is only, you know, maybe up to your knees,

Sam'sies, as you kind of round the bend. And as you turn the corner and start to look upstream, you see, if there was a Ford here, there isn't one now. A forward, you know, a shallow kind of crossing across the river, you can tell at a glance that there's probably no portion of the river that's under maybe six feet deep, and the water is moving quickly. And the source of the noise, you can see over about 20 feet upstream to your left is a ferry, which is tied to a rope, which is anchored on the shore, and the rope is headed all the way across the river and anchored on the other side. And right in the middle of the river is a person hanging on to the rope for dear life

and shouting for help. He sees you and immediately waves, Hey, hey, you! Can you help me? Can you help me? I'm trapped in the middle of the river. What's your name? Are you... Does that have anything to do with... What does that have to do with anything? I'm just curious. My name is Dan.

Dan Siego. Wow. This is a guy. This is... This is... My wife's ex. This is... What a song this will be.

So as Sameses works on his new ballad, we transition to our other four adventures. So, Into the Caves go Quariel. Gigley, Bookett, and Dwayne, as well. as a brand new friend, Squelch Nyquist, who is very concerned with questing and finding bronchonuts and stuff, and much less concerned with the main storyline. Played, of course, by Shane O'Connell. So you take like a step past sort of the threshold of this cave and immediately just sort of descend into darkness.

It's almost like you're way already deep into the cave. As you enter the cave, you're immediately ambushed by a swarm of bats. and we are going to get everybody in here and see if you are surprised. A cloud of bats swoops down to attack you. What a cliche origin story of some sort of hero. Yes. Three. Okay.

None of you are surprised by the bats, honestly, with what the priest told you about how there's a lot of weak minions in the opening of the cave. none of you were surprised to see a swarm of sort of evil-looking bats fly towards you Oh yeah, that's just a common cave bat I think I have that on page Oh yeah I got that one earlier This is what I mean squelch

They are going to attack us So, Bookett, you have rolled the highest initiative That means you are first in this combat Oh, we rolled initiative? Yeah, I did it automatically Oh, you did, okay Yeah, Bookett is first You can see here you are behind everybody

so you can either cast a spell that is a ranged attack on this swarm of bats or you can move to a place where you can do a melee attack. I could try and make them fall asleep. Sure, okay, great. I cast it. Sleep is a, the bat would have to make a wisdom save. Okay. The whole swarm of bats had a very bad saving throw.

So they immediately all dropped. to the ground in a deep sleep. Off the big you go. Wow. Excellent work, book it. Book it. Amazing. Thank you. Next is Squelch Nyquist.

What are you going to do, Squelch? I mean, I kind of want to get the bats hide, so can I kill them? But I don't want to mess up any of my sword, so I might do an unarmed strike on one of the bats and try to get the hide. Okay, great, great. Okay. 17. Okay, that's a hit. You punch a bat and one of the sleeping bats makes like a sad noise, but it's still breathing.

Are you trying to punch the skin off the sleeping bat? Okay, that's it. Beautiful. Unless you also wanted to move somewhere, you're done with your turn. I'm going to stay where I am. I want to get this bat. All right, quarryole is next. Squelch, why do you seek to finish off these bats?

they are asleep. Well, not all of them. I just need one for its hide. Very well. I do not pretend to understand your ways, squelch. Quariel's going to move further into the cave, like up here. Okay. You're going to ignore the bats?

The sleeping bats? Yeah, I will ignore them. One, two, three, four. I guess I would get to this point and look a little bit to see which way made sense and then maybe take my last step or two. Okay. I'm going to say that looking, since it's very dark, is going to be all you can do. You won't really be able to move anymore.

You kind of peer into the darkness. So you look off to your left and you see the cave extending through this kind of narrow passageway this way. You can kind of see like a little bit of maybe water over here. And as you look ahead, another narrow passageway and some water. And as you look to your right, passageway goes up to a corner where. it stops. Okay. Good job, Quirio.

Way to stay focused. I guess. Bar is low. Gigli, what's your plan? I'm going to do the same. I'm going to go up to here. Okay. You're going to do anything?

You're just going to join Quirio. Just join him. All right. And next is Dwayne. What's your plan? Feels like Dwayne should do something with the bats. Just kidding. Dwayne will try and move quietly through the cave to join Quario.

All right. And next is the swarm of bats, which are asleep. Next is Bookett. What's your plan? I'm just going to join them as well. Okay. See no purpose in doing anything else. Great. And Bookett, as you round the corner, I hate to tell you this, but you were ambushed by a swarm of rats. No! Bats and rats.

Couty. Is there no end to the evil? Are those aluma rats or regular rats? I can't see them. Well, surely if they were Illuma rats, you could see them. Oh, that's right, that's right. You're still back there, like, punching the bat on the ground. Great.

So, the swarm of rats is next. The swarm of rats comes and pounces on a bucket. Booket you are covered in rats. Lorry! Oh, you have these sort of magical robes that you're wearing. They're all, you can tell they're trying to bite you, but they are kind of getting mouthfuls of. robe. They're not really getting any

pieces of your body. So no damage for Bookett. Squelch, you're next. I guess I'm going to move up to you guys. You're not going to punch the bat again? You're right. I guess I'm going to punch this bat. I'm

still by the bat, so I got to punch the bat. Ooh, I got an 18 or 21. Yeah, so you punched the bat. Finally, you've finished off this bat. It took you 12 seconds to kill a sleeping bat. Oh, nice.

I'm going to save this for the trapper. Okay, so you put it in your bag or are you going to skin it right there? Yeah, I'm going to put it in my bag. Yeah, yeah. Okay, all right. Quiriel is next. Quiriel, you are standing next to Bookett who is covered in rats. Let me move like into this square and I will attack the rats.

All right. And how are you going to do that? They're on Bucket. Yeah, I was going to say, so the sword is probably not a great idea. Probably not. So he will sheath the ray of Rodos and strike with his fists. Okay, you're going to swipe at these rats on Booking. Yeah. Okay, go ahead. You talked a big game about how bad it was to unarmed strike. That's true. Here you are.

I see the wisdom of your method, squelch. Yeah, it's not bad, right? I mean, it works. Does it, is a 15 hit a rat? Yes. Okay. Then kapow, three unarmed strike damage on the rats. Okay, so you actually punch. two rats off of a bucket. One flies up against the side of the cave and is motionless. The other one, the force of your punch just kind of snaps its neck and it falls to the ground. There's still three or four rats on bucket. Next, jiggly.

Jigley. How many rats are on bucket? Good question. There were seven rats, so now there are five. Now, there are five. Okay. I am going to join in this unarmed melee and punch some rats. Yes.

Join us, Gile. Isn't D&D great? Here we go. Oh. Oh, bam. Yeah. 21. What's your damage?

Two. All right. One more rat is dead. Congratulations. Wayne, you're next. Okay. I'm going to use my great. X on the rats.

Bye, by, book it. Careful. Wait, around me, please. No, on me. Yeah, yeah, to the side, behind Bucket. Okay, I'm going to make you roll twice to hit because I'm going to give you disadvantage

on the accuracy of that. If you fail, you hit Bucket. No, I'm not going to do that then. Would it be better if I just smash them all like little bugs? Yep, just roll an unarmed attack. Okay. Five, so you kill two more rats. So there are what?

How many is that? So there's two rats remaining on Bookett. Congratulations. Nice one, Dwayne. I love the three people have just simultaneously punched rats off of the book. The swarm of bats wakes up and exits the cave, fortunately. They don't want any part of what's happening right now. They're gone.

So congratulations. Next, Bookit, you have two rats on you. What are you going to do? I want to freeze the rats All right, go ahead and roll your cantrip You shoot razor frost wildly in every direction Hard to shoot at yourself Yeah, exactly

It's like you lift up one leg and try to aim at your ankle Where one of the rats is and it doesn't work Next, the swarm of rats disperse The remaining two alive rats swarm away to tend to their dead brethren and they're gone. Okay, so encounter is over. Wow. I'd say we squelched them.

Okay, back to Larry and Samsies, who have just come in contact with Dan Siego, the fordzeman, who is mid-river, holding on for dear life onto a rope that is anchored on both banks. Beyond him, you can see, you know, about 150 feet away on the other side of the river is another person who is waving at you

and trying to help, but they're on the other side of the river, so they're sort of the same distance from him that you are. She's pacing up and down the shore, kind of looking for something to help, but hasn't found anything yet. Oh, so that, maybe that's Dan's friend, Fran San Francisco. We don't need to.

Do you have rope? Dan is hanging on to a rope. Right. How to, what? Yeah, it's a real conundrum. Yeah. What do you have, Larry? Inventory-wise?

Yeah. I've got... I've got rope. Okay. Could we throw... Five pounds of rope. How do we get him? What if we shot a little arrow and he would have to catch it?

Maybe. How's your aim? And honestly, if you hit him, like, it's fine. No, we're not doing that. I try to kill him. I mean, like, aim for his arm. I mean maybe. Wait, no, why are we?

I'm not going to shoot him. I'm very dexterous. Uh, well, so you would tie rope to an arrow. Uh, Dan calls out and he says, the ferry! The fairy! And he's pointing at the boat that's tied up to the rope. Ah. Ah.

We just got to get to the ferry. Yeah, I guess so. So we get to the ferry and we can pull him in, I guess. Well, you... Go rescue him in the boat? Yeah. So, the... The way that the ferry works is that it's a raft connected to the rope.

And basically you sort of pull yourself onto one side, then you pull yourself over to the other side. Got it. And he's in the middle. Right. But the raft is on our side. Right. Sort of a basic ferry. It's not like a bar and chips and stuff.

You can see like a rudimentary bar. Oh, okay. Okay. It's a nice fairy. Let's abandon the shooting him thing and just, I guess we just pull across, right? and pick them up on the ferry. Yeah, let's get up to the ferry. All right, so the ferry, like I said, is about 20 feet upstream of you.

Okay. Since Larry's on your shoulders, I'm going to have you roll another DC-15 athletics check, Winston. 13. Okay, so you're making your way up. The water is rushing so fast, and the rocks are slippery, and you sort of stumble, and Larry falls into the water. water as well. So both of you make a DC 12 athletics check just to keep from floating down river. Oh boy. Oh boy. Oh no. So Larry rolls at five or a four? Four. I'm not super athletic.

Not aquatic is what I'm not. It's aquatic. So in full view of your wife's ex. you slip again. Samsey's regains his footing and kind of makes his way up to the ferry. Larry, you slip and the water rushes over your head and you finally find some footing and stand up and make one more DC-12 athletics check. Oh, no. Okay.

Oh, is that a seven? Sorry, I thought that was a one. All right. So just as you've got to get your head above water, you get, there's a wave of water that knocks you over. As you stand up, the water pulls your pants down. And so as you get knocked over your sort of ass, your naked ass sort of is up in the air.

And as you roll backwards, you hit your head against a rock that's jutting out of the water. And you take, ooh, six bludgeoning damage. Okay. But fortunately, the rock sort of, of glances you off to the side and you end up on a little sandy bank. A lot of times rocks in water are softer.

Softer? Yeah. That's actually not true. So you're sort of thoroughly embarrassed here, but you kind of climb back up onto the shore. You okay? Yeah, good. Honestly, better. I feel good. I feel good. This is like, swept for a little swim, cooled off. And Dan, who is, you know, he's maybe 60 feet away. You know, he's not seeing everything that's happening. It seems very concerned.

He's like, are you all right? Is everyone all right? Yeah, yeah. Give it a rest, this guy. We're fine. Okay, so, Larry, you are now kind of on the shore, half in the water, but the water is not threatening to sweep you away. Are you going to try to make your way back to the ferry?

You're going to let Sam'sies go on his own. Hmm. I sort of want to get on the ferry. I can't let Dan Diego see my naked ass without looking me in the eye, you know? All right. Well, as you pull your pants back up, you feel something in your pocket, and you realize you have your yolo coin. Your yolo gold coin.

So if you really want to take a chance, don't let me tell you how to live your life. But if you want to try to get to that fairy, you can either chance it again with your... middling athletic skills, or you could really shoot the moon. Yeah, you know, I think I will have to toss the old Yolo coin because... Remember, you can only use it once a day. What's a day? This is the time. Also, also, samezies. Maybe you could give him some boost with some magic or... Yes, hold on. I really don't want this to be how you die, Larry.

You think a one would really result in my death? It is Yolo. I have a spell called heroism. And what's that? A willing creature you touch is imbrewed with bravery. You have to touch him, though. Oh, yeah. Bartic Inspiration? Bartic Inspiration, I think I can only use in combat.

I mean, some might say Larry's been in combat with that rock that just brained him. Yeah. I can supernaturally inspire others through words, music, or dance. Oh, I would love a dance. I would love a dance. There's blood trickling down your forehead. Dance, Samseys. Dance for me.

Okay, I can, I can, yeah, I can give you Bartik inspiration. Would that help my coin land correctly? Yeah, I guess not. I guess not. Okay, so, sorry, so, let's see. You could make him go to sleep. I could make him go to sleep. The real question is, if I flipped the coin and got the bad side,

Would I die? No, you're not going to... I don't think you're going to die. I think you would just get swept further downstream, further embarrassing yourself in front of... Because what do I need to roll to make my way up for the athletics? I'd say it's a DC-13 to get back to where you were. How much worse can I look get?

Well, there's only one way to find out. You want to give it a shot? I'll roll on athletics, try to battle my way up. Okay. Ready? Oof. It's so bad. All right, so you try one more time to kind of make your way.

What worse can this get? You try to make your way up one more time and you, I mean, you're so small and your footing is just a little bit too loose. These rocks are so slippy. You take a tumble under the water. and you roll backwards another 20 or 30 feet. And you kind of careen off of a larger boulder. It doesn't do any damage, but it kind of spits you out into the middle of the river. You start to kind of be swept up by the current downstream.

Oops. And with that embarrassing turn of events, we turn back now to the cave, where our four adventures have just finished punching a bunch of rats off a bucket. And they've fled, as have the bats, and it's quiet again. But it is still very dark. You're getting just a hair of light from the outside of the cave,

but you're really only able to see, you know, a few feet in front of you. It's very dim. So there's no initiative anymore. Now you're just on your own. Time is what you make it. So you guys can now decide what to do next. So there's water in two directions.

Looks like there's water in two directions and there's a corner in the other direction. I vote we explore around the corner. that doesn't have water. Sure. Yeah. Yeah, maybe just to clear it out and then we can see what the water is all about.

Sure. All right. You want to take the lead quarial and kind of see what's up there? Sure. All right, so you move up to the corner. Great. You kind of see that it hairpins over to the left.

More water around here. He sort of calls back, Still water. Still water. Runs deep, though. So, you know. So they say. All right.

You guys don't have to go. in any particular order it's not initiative so you can kind of do whatever all right I'll go check out up here oh you've triggered another swarm of rats but these guys have been watching what's happening and they're not interested

rats disperses some of them jump into the water what kind of rats were those by the way those were the rats you were looking for actually sorry squelch those were scaredy rats those are aluma rats yeah those are luma rats they cast a faint glow

oh man oh Could we use the dead ones as flashlights? No, the ones that you killed were regular rats, unfortunately. No, no, don't kill them. Well, at least not until I draw it. And then you can kill them. But as these rats jump into the water, they kind of illuminate a little bit and see, can I see the side of this cave that ends over here?

Yeah. And you see a little bit more. It seems like over here there's kind of a bigger pool of water. Can I throw something in to test its depth? Yeah. How would you do that with water? How does that work? Just, uh, that's a good question.

Fair question. Maybe it's more like, um, using like the handle of my axe to check. If it's something we can like wade through or if it's actually like a deep pool. Dwayed through. Great. Okay. So you wade a couple of feet into the water. Um, it's,

pretty still, but it's very, very cold water. And as you step, you know, maybe three or four feet in, a swarm of piranhas surrounds you. Everybody, so, Gigli, you're the only one near. Tis a swarm of swarms. They're all about community here, you know. So, Gigli and the piranhas are the only ones in here. So the way that this works is that if you want to help fight the swarm of piranhas, you have to come up to where Gigley is and help, but if you don't, it's just Gigley versus the piranhas.

Perhaps we got to leave him to his fate. Good luck there, Ghibli. What? I punched a rat off you. Okay, so you guys don't have to decide right now because it's not your turn yet. So, Gigi, you're first. The piranhas are swarming around you, around your ankles in the water. you have to decide what to do.

All right. I want to take my great axe and put it in the water and do a spin, like a Tasmanian devil spin move, like trying to make like a blender to blend them up. Wow. Wow. Squelch knows something about making smoothies. Does that? No.

You don't have any sort of whirlwind. It's not a particular move. So I guess it's just a two-handed attack within the water. water. Sure. Instead of just leaving the place where you're going to get damaged, you try to fight these piranhas. You're three steps away from where piranhas can't go, but instead you have decided to take a swipe at them.

Go ahead and roll. Okay. Six, but that's plus three. Okay, go ahead. Yep, you hit. Go ahead and roll for damage. Eight. Okay.

You do quite a bit of damage. A couple of them are eviscerated. And next is the piranha's turn. So they are going to swarm you. My armor class is 13. 13, okay. Oh, they got you. No.

They get you for three damage, Gigley. So you've got to adjust your hit points there. Okay. And now it is your turn. Now that you have presented the idea of fleeing, that seems wise. I'm going to move out of the water here. Okay. The Swarm of Piranhas angrily sort of flip-flop on the shore there trying to get to you. But for now, the combat is over.

Jiggly, now that you're safe, it's a great time to start filling out the decks. We actually don't come across piranhas very often, so. Squelch, I am willing to tolerate your eccentricities, but please do not invite me into them. So out there, Jigli, while you were there, you sort of were able to see a little bit more of this area. Nice. And it's very dark, and the pool kind of extends a little bit ahead of you and it kind of disappears into darkness, but you do see most of the rest of the pool. And is this area like up here, is this, we could walk on that without getting in the piranos? Yes.

You know, you have like a foot or two of shore there along the cave wall. In case you didn't know everyone, the water's full of piranhas that kind of got me, but we can get a, around them. All right. Thank you. Anytime. What's your passive perception, Gigli? 13.

Okay, so you can see here on that little island. It's very dark, but you do see, like, the faintest light emanating from this little island in the pond. Okay. Also, there's sort of a glowing island. I don't know if that's from, like, light up rats or some sort of rodean thing. Rodian thing I don't it's not my deal man It is everyone's deal

Sure sure Wait remind me are we looking for something We're just trying to clear out the Yeah basically the priest is implied that by clearing out the cave You're going to purge the countryside of this darkness that's engulfing it Okay Do we want to try to do something with this glowing rock That we'd have to get through piranhas

to get to. This is small, right, this little island? Yeah, so every square is about five feet. So this is about a 10 by 12 foot island. Does anybody else have any oil in their inventory or torches? Hold on. Well, I'd be willing to, you know, if you guys would pay me back, I would be willing to. Oh, okay, great, yeah. I have oil too. What if you put some of your oil in the water and light it on fire?

Oh, I have a torch. To burn the piranhas. I don't think that's going to work. Or a bucket could freeze the water and we could walk on it. Oh, I guess I can do that. Sure, let's give it a go. Ray of Frost. That wouldn't really be powerful enough to do that.

Never mind. Okay, what if I go over here and can I drop some rations in the water to try to get them to get them to? come over to this area. Sure, give it a shot. Do you have any meat? Oh yeah, including jerky. Great, perfect. So you're going to put some jerky in the water? Yeah, as long as you guys will pay me back, though, because I'm maxed out and I kind of like to keep it that way. What is this maxed out you speak of? So squelch throws some jerky into the water. The swarm of piranhas disappear, and a few seconds later, a swarm of piranhas, whether it's the same one or a different

one appears just devouring this jerky. It's only a couple pieces, and there's, you know, there's a good 10 or 12 piranhas in this swarm, so it's hard to tell how long it's going to last, but they are occupied with the jerky for now. All right. Can I bust it over here through the, like run through the water? Wait, no, I wanted to heal you. Oh, thanks. Sure, but not now, Dwayne.

Please. We have moments while the piranhas are occupied. Fine. I bet I'd be really good at it this time. Or book it. You could go over to the island. Could I? Yeah.

All right. Wee! Great. So, Bookett, you wade into the water. It's ice cold. So am I. You sort of hear the frothing of the piranhas over by the jerky, and you know you only have a couple seconds left. But you get to the island.

You clamber up there, and you find nestled in the crag of the rock. It's a sphere of thick glass. Another sphere. Yes, yes. But some of you are familiar with this item. This is a drift globe. If you're within 60 feet of it, you can speak its command word, and it cause it to emanate light or daylight. Once used, the daylight effect can't be used again until the next dawn.

You can speak another command word to make the illuminated globe rise into the air and float no more than five feet off the ground. The globe hovers this way until you or another creature grasps it. If you move more than 60 feet from the globe, it follows you until it is within, 60 feet of you. It takes the shortest route to do so. If prevented from moving, the globe sinks gently to the ground and becomes inactive and its light winks out. So it's just a source of light. That's what it is. Yes. It's basically like a floating light. So you're going to pick that up, I assume? Yes. Great. So you pick up the drift globe. Good job, guys. Do you want to turn it on or do you want to keep it for later? Okay. So you speak this magic word that illuminates the cave in a bright

light, almost like a ray of sunlight coming through and illuminating the island from Book It Out. And you see the rest of this part of the cave. You see what looks like maybe another entrance, sort of a rear entrance to the cave. And the water in this pool is flowing into a huge hole, maybe eight feet wide. There's no way to see how deep it is. The water falls in there and you don't hear it hitting the bottom. And then off to the right, you see the cave kind of of continue into the narrow opening, but from this angle, you can't see it. So you don't really see what else is out there. All right.

Perhaps I shall skirt along the eastern edge of this lake and see if we are to be surprised by yet another swarm. Okay. So move your token. Let me know where you're going. All right. I'm the four or five. Okay, stop right there.

Well, am I about to get swarmed? You stop right here. Go ahead and roll. a dexterity check, Jeremy. There we go. That's not great. Nine. Okay, as you're skirting the eastern edge of this cave, you hear a crumbling, cracking sound. A huge hole opens up in the cave floor and quarial.

You fall through it, and you are gone. Okay. The rest of you hear a crumbling rock noise, and Quariel cries out by Roodos. He disappears through the floor of the cave. No. No! Oh, crook!

Uh-oh. Yeah, you kind of all see. I don't think Squelch sees it. He's drawing a picture of the piranha right now. Hey, Quariel? Q, man. Can you hear us? Thank you.

Oh, no. And I think we'll leave it there for this episode. with two simultaneous cliff hangers, or, you know, river hanger and cave hangar, respectively. Larry's fallen into rushing water. Aquarial has fallen through the floor of the cave. What will befall our heroes next time? We'll find out in the next installment of Mission G6. Thank you for listening.

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