Mission To Zyxx - Mission to FYXX

Episode Date: March 19, 2025

The debut and finale of the hit podcast Mission to FYXX, in which cast members of Mission to Zyxx answer listeners' advice questions! Featuring Alden Ford, Seth Lind, Justin Tyler and Moujan Zolfaghari. It's the first of our monthly one-off podcast episodes leading up to the release of the Young Old Derf Chronicles. Support us on Maximum Fun for a chance to suggest ideas for these episodes, get tons of bonus content, and help make our new spinoff prequel a reality! Thanks to freesound.org users Mrthenoronha, pixelprophecy and pnmcarrierailfan for the music and effects.

Hi there, it's Alden Ford with the first of many monthly episodes leading up to the release of the Young Old Durf Chronicles later this year. Now if you're thinking the what chronicles, you should go back and listen to the previous episode where we explain the new prequel show which is a spin-off of Mission to Xix featuring everybody's favorite geriatric weirdo. And it also explains why we need your help to make it happen by going over to maximumfun.org slash join. Happy Maximum Fun Drive by the way. One of the many perks you'll get as a supporter of Mission EZX over on Maximum Fun is to

join our Mission EZX Discord and suggest pitches for these one-off out-of- character episodes of podcasts we have never done before and will never do again Like this one the episode you're about to hear comes from the mind of supporter and discord member Noel Who made the mistake of suggesting that we do an advice podcast? Answering questions also submitted on the discord. So here it comes. Enjoy. Welcome to Mission to Fix. Mission to Fix. The Fix Squadron. Where the crew of Mission to Zix solves all of your problems.

Yes. Those people listening might be wondering, are we in any way qualified to give advice? Oh. And I think the answer is a resounding, you know, we can all say it, no. I hope no one even thought to wonder that we might be. Yes, if you're listening to this,

it's on you a little bit. If this is your only resource for good advice, good job. Good luck. Good times. Good job and good times. Good luck. Good job and good luck. And we have great news for you if you don't like the advice. This is the first and last episode of this show.

There will be no follow-up. No. Yeah. Well, let's introduce ourselves. I'm Alden Ford. You may know me from Mission to Six. How am I qualified to answer your questions? I am a father of three.

I'm a 42 year old person. We're saying our ages now? No, all of it. Jeez. What else do I have? I've owned pets. Okay. I've owned pets.

That could be, you could be a pet serial killer. How about I own pets? All right, Seth, what's your qualification? Introduce yourself. Yeah, I'm Seth Lin. You might know me from maybe Mission to Zyx and my qualification, I've had pets. Oh, I mean.

You have currently a live pet, which is more. I do, I can see my live pet. Can we, is it too late to pivot to a pet's show? Yeah. Oh man, I'm down. I've had pets. I've had pets. Mujan?

I'm Mujan Zulfaghari, you might know me from Mission to Zyx. And my qualification is I have in the past voted at least once. Oh wow, that is a qualification. You've thought about stuff before. Like a Buzzfeed poll? At least once, at least once. Oh wow, that is a qualification. You've thought about stuff before. Like a Buzzfeed poll? At least once, at least. No follow-ups. I'm Justin Tyler, I play Durf when asked on Mission to Zyx.

My qualifications for this, I once streaked college campus at below zero temperature. So. Okay, great. Justin, you're also wearing a hat indoors. Well, sorry, are we under like 19th century Victorian rules? Yeah, this isn't a Manners podcast, move it. It was a sin at one time.

Should we jump right in, guys? Oh, absolutely. Let's jump in. Just like Justin jumps into the streak. Into the streak. Yes. You gotta jump into the streak. Whoa. That's a famous Fix Quadrant pivot, Mujan.

Thank you. That's what we're known for. Our trademark here at the long running podcast, The Fix Quadrant, also known as Mission to Fix. Welcome to The Fix. We have solicited questions of philosophical quandaries, relationship drama, moral dilemmas, questions of anything at all on our Mission to Zyck's Discord, and we've gotten a number of excellent questions, which I would say run a pretty wide gamut of very serious to

very silly. So, I'm excited to get into these. Yeah. Let's get started. So, first, this question is from Octo, mystery contraption. Dear council, my council and me, I see what you did there. Do you think astronauts take their wallets with them

when they go to space? Why or why not? Wow. Hmm. Conceringly Octo, not really advice, but you know, that's a really good question. Do you take your wallet with you when you go to space? I really, well you said it's not advice.

I like to think that Octo's an astronaut who's really, has everything else figured out about going to space but this last question. On the platform. He's on the shuttle waiting for this answer. Nine, eight, I gotta keep it or drop it? Seven. I got it, I'm not holding, I got it, I'm not. But imagine if you have like a heavy wallet and you keep it or drop it, because it's seven. I got it, I'm not holding it, I got it, I'm not. But imagine if you have like a heavy wallet

and you keep it in the back pocket. So while they're going into space, they have to have that uncomfortable bulge underneath them. So I would say Nick's no on this wallet idea. Here's the thing though, I feel like anytime you go out somewhere, especially a place you've never been before, you'll always regret not having your ID.

Yeah. That's true. And space is the last frontier, the final frontier. That's true. Alaska is the last frontier. I feel like I have a guess about where this question is coming from, which is that you probably won't need it in space. You probably, like, your identity is known,

you're not gonna be purchasing anything with a credit card probably probably but at the same time You'd want to know where it is sure Well, yes, and here's the thing What if you you might now we buy stuff everywhere like what if you know? I'm often out doing something and some of my family is like hey Could you pay for this real quick? I'm like yeah, I, I guess. I'm, you know, streaking right now. You're thinking that an astronaut might get a call from a loved one and be like,

hey, there's an eBay auction. I can't. My Internet's not working. Could you just bid on this vase? And the Wi-Fi in space is great because you're right by the satellites. They're right there. So strong. Oh, that's true. Now, a truth I do know is that astronauts, they get to choose like a small amount of personal items

that they would bring for themselves up into space. Like mementos, photographs, like what would you guys bring? Well, here's my question to you. What would you bring to space? Oh wow, this famous fix quadrant, kind of ditching the question and asking our own questions. Physician fix thyself, says Mujer. What do I bring?

Oh boy. Boy, I feelujan. What do I bring? Oh boy. Boy, I feel like so many things that I use regularly are like really because of gravity. How? You're very gravity focused. Something a lot of us, and I say Seth, take for granted, and you honor gravity every day. You bring it up?

You bring it up, and then you drop it down. You let gravity, you bring it up, and you drop it down. You let gravity, you bring it up and you drop it down. So Mujan, you're thinking like sentimental items. I mean, it doesn't matter. You decide yourself. You can bring whatever you want. The temptation I think would be like, oh, well, I gotta bring like pictures of my family.

But that's not for you potentially. You need to bring stuff that makes you feel good. Wow. Take care of yourself in space. Exactly, it's called personal preference kit. So, Justin, we know you wouldn't bring pictures of your family, what else would you bring? I'd be an iPad with a Starman comic book series

preloaded on it. Wow, okay. Not a single picture of my children. Someone did bring an alto saxophone, is that, does that make sense? Can you play the saxophone in space? That seems like you shouldn't be allowed. Oh man.

Can you imagine one dude brings a saxophone? That's wrong. It did happen in 1984, astronaut Ronald McNair was the first person to play a saxophone in space. To be fair, 84 was the year of the saxophone. Yeah, that's true. And they say in space, no one can hear you, hark, hark.

Hark. So in summary, yes, you should bring it. I would bring the wallet. I say bring like $40 in cash. That's like, my mom would always say, put $10 in your shoe. And I was like, what? Yeah, there you go. You never know.

How much money you got? How many shoes, what? Yeah, there you go. You never know, you never know. How much money you got, how many shoes you got? Multiply that by 10. And Octo, I think we can confidently say, you fixed. You fixed. You did it. You fixed. All right, next, Howdy.

This is from Cam Wing. Howdy, you've worked with a number of well-known guests on Zyx, and the interactions always felt very natural. Thank you so much. I was invited to an event where I'll be mingling with a bunch of fellow YouTube creators, some of which I'm a big fan of, and I'm worried that I'll be seen as more of an awkward fan than as a peer. Interesting. What's the appropriate amount of geeking out when interacting slash working with a relatively famous person? Looking forward to hearing from members of the Zyx crew again after so long."

I feel like Mujan and well, actually all three of you guys, less so me, are really qualified to answer this question because you've all worked on shows where you've been next to very famous people. Cam Wing, thank you for asking this question because three of the four of us are uniquely qualified to answer this. Seth, you want to start? If I can start in a kind of sincere way, I do think the fact that you are thinking about this question and asking it means that there's such a tiny chance that you would be awkward

or annoying to these people because you have the self-knowledge to even wonder that. So in a basic way, I would just be like, don't worry, these people are there for the same reason as you, and so you're going to be totally fine. But Alden, what did you say? You wanted examples of interacting with really famous people?

You guys have all worked on shows and on projects that you were next to very famous people. And I know for a fact that you guys are fans of those people too. So if you have any stories about that. I can tell a couple of quick little ones. I worked on a show called Desus and Mero. And we did two pieces where I was directing the field piece. They were both sketches.

One of them was Lin-Manuel Miranda, very cool. And I was like, oh, how do you, and we were improvising a musical based on the idea, this came from the host, that Babe Ruth was secretly Dominican. And super funny, they pitched it live to Lin-Manuel on set, and then they sat down and literally wrote this musical together. And it was amazing watching them work. But getting to the question, Lin-Manuel showed up, he was the first one on set, we shot at the UCB Theater on 42nd Street when that was a thing.

He was there first, he was incredibly down to earth. He wanted his own space and to chill. But he then, when we were like, yeah, we'll be with you in like 10 minutes, he just sat down at the piano, started just like making up a song. I was like, turn the cameras on immediately. We have to capture this. And it's in the piece.

It's on Showtime's YouTube. Check it out. That's really cool. That was very fun. And truly like, especially then, and, one of the most famous people in the world and just wanted to do the work and hang out and be cool. The other one similarly is John Legend. A little more private, but we had an hour with him where he wrote a song about eating

ass with the Simba. Wow. Why did we get him on Zyx? He could have played that character the whole time. Yeah. I did a show where I was a series with John McEnroe, famous for being a diva, and again, takes a little while to warm up,

but at the end of the day, he's like, we're all working together, and he wants to be with people who are all rowing in the same direction, like these fellow YouTubers. Yeah, that's a question for you, Justin. When you work with somebody like John McEnroe, who's like, oh, this guy's famously sort of prickly,

are you like, am I gonna butter him up by yelling stats at him, or am I gonna act like I don't care who he is? What's the strategy? My strategy with any celebrity interaction is always just be the most basic and down to earth and just positive but like I'm a regular guy you're a regular person let's just talk and hang out because we're here to do it we're here to work you know it's like we're all in the comedy mind

let's all get our picks and work together to do it You're just the one whose face is on the banner out front. Yeah, that's a good point. Mujan? I've worked on shows where the people were very well known, and I usually, I think as I've gotten older, I'm just like, people are just people. Just be yourself. If yourself is a kind, nice person. If it's not, then maybe don't be. Then go home, you maniac.

and maybe don't be. They go home. They go home. You maniac. Yeah. But the only time I think I was starstruck only because I am such a big fan of hers and then I got to work with her for a couple of seasons with Amy Sedaris

because she's just like, you know, they say don't meet your heroes. And there's been a couple of times where I have met people of that caliber and they weren't as great, but Amy was and continues to be like a just top tier best person. So kind, so nice.

Oh my gosh. I'm not surprised by that, but it makes me really happy. She's so great. I mean, the fact that she asked me to be in her show is, you know, she didn't need to do that. But we did a show on, we did a show, rest in peace on Go 90 together called Thanksgiving that Bethany Hall made. And she got to see me do like pratfalls and be fake drunk. And she saw me do my best and my best character work.

And we filmed in Westchester and we showed her at Cabrag bat to Manhattan. And I got to like talk to her and she was so lovely and she brought me back. But I wish, because she's like incredible and an idol of mine, I think on set I was a little like intimidated, not intimidated, that's not the right word.

I was just in awe on her. So I feel like maybe I wasn't able, this is just, oh boy, I'm letting it out. Like on Home with Amy Sedaris, maybe I wasn't able to like be as kooky, as crazy as I wanted to be because I was so much in my head. Because I'm just like, this is Amy Sedaris. I have to get these lines right. I don't know if I should improvise. I don't know because I was so much in my head. Because I'm just like, this is Amy Sedaris. I have to get these lines right.

I don't know if I should improvise. I don't know what I should do here. So if sometimes you go and you meet people that you look up to, I think you never really know how you act until you're in that moment. So go there to this YouTube event, have fun, say hi to these people. Because I'm sure they'd love to hear from someone

who's a fan of theirs. Like whenever we have Zyx events, I love it when people come and talk to us and acknowledge that there's other people who actually listen to this stuff because most of the time it's just us and on Zoom or in a room and we don't really realize that people listen to it. So it's really nice. I like it. Yeah. Can I say a couple awkward things I've done

around the famous people I've interacted with by accident? Now we're talking. So my day job is at This American Life, the public radio show podcast. And I've worked there for 19 years. Whoa, that's awesome. In the beginning, I was like the front desk person. And at one point, Kirsten Dunst just walked in and I was like the front desk person and at one point Kirsten Dunst just walked in and I was like, uh

Hi, and then the the way the office was like the front desk was like right in front of this bench where the person would sit To wait so like Kirsten was looking at me and then I very close I needed to pick up the phone and call the person she was meeting with to be like she was here and then I I Could not remember her name. I looked like I blanked because of the weirdness and I was just like, and I called my coworker, listen, I was like, your 11 o'clock is here. As I'm like looking in the eyes of like, like,

and I feel like it just like made it feel like I was being weirdly aggressive about refusing to say the person's name. I clearly knew it wasn't the Kirsten Kristen situation or just a total no, no. Like, I just blanked like I like when she walked in, I in my mind, I was like, that's Kirsten Dunst. And when I picked up the phone, like it was just anxiety about a famous person that wiped all knowledge from my mind. a famous person that wiped all knowledge from my mind. So one other awkward celebrity interactions was another This American Life live show. One time we had Tig Notaro in a live show doing this really funny story about meeting Taylor Dane over and over,

and then we surprised the audience by having Taylor Dane perform at the end of it. Taylor Dane being a 80s pop star of some renown back then. Anyway, backstage before the show, I was talking to Tig in the green room. It's where they have like plates with crudite and stuff. And I think I was kind of nervous, so I was sort of like filling the space by talking and Tig's like, uh-huh, yeah, oh, okay, oh.

And then I finally paused and she goes, you're eating off my plate. Wolf. So you're like, no, I know, I know. I know. I know. No, I mean, enough hours. I like to think of it as our plate, too. So don't don't do the things I do. That's my advice.

One quick thing and I won't go into it, but I almost killed a Jonas brother, like on accident. Wow. Let's move on. That's all you want to say about it? It was when I was interning at Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. You had a sniper rifle and you had to kill him. Doesn't matter. Let's move on to the next question.

Wow. Wow. I will say this to Kam Wing. As someone who's been on sort of both sides of that equa- I think we all have, of being on the side where you were sort of starstruck by someone, but also being on the side on a much smaller degree of being around people who are fans of yours, which is always a great feeling. Everybody likes to hear that someone likes the work that they do.

You should never worry about that. So Cam Wing, in conclusion, you're fixed. Next question. Next is from zalkatron5001. My moral dilemma is this. I have a friend who had a pretty nasty breakup. Afterwards, the ex started accusing him of some pretty nasty stuff that I won't repeat, but are unsubstantiated. This ex later started working at the same company as my wife. Not just that, the plot is thickening in every word. Not just

that, but they regularly work together at the same station. Station. Station. It's a Chipotle? I don't know. No, space station. Station. Station. It's a Chipotle? I don't know. No, space station. Oh right, space station. Do they have their wallets? That's the real question. My wife and I hosted a party last September as a late wedding celebration. As a courtesy, my wife gave an open invitation to her co-workers. The friend's ex decided she wanted to come too. This caused a brief bit of drama to the point where my friend's current wife even called me trying to sort out the whole thing. Ultimately, the ex never showed up to the party, but how should I have handled this situation?

I wanted to remain neutral for the sake of getting through the event, but loyalties were called into question. What would you have done?" Wow, that's a thorny tale, Zalkatron 5001. I mean, I think, Zalkatron, I think you handled it well. Like that's such a convoluted thorny vine of drama and you're only in charge of what you're doing

and you're connective. So I would talk to your partner in that situation and be like, hey, be friends with who you want to at your station, but just know that when we're going to this event, hey, be friends with who you want to at your station, but just know that when we're going to this event, it might get a little spicy and you might be standing right there when it happens. And then otherwise, like, I don't think you can get involved and choose a side, especially when your personal life is now intermingled with something that you don't know exactly what happened.

That's good. That's true. Yeah. Can I also just add that by coincidence, the question you asked is verbatim the log line for the young old Durf Chronicles. And so I want you know, first of all, we we came up. This was just parallel thinking. We did not steal this idea based on your question. And number two, you should just know that going into the show that it could be triggering. And there are multiple stations involved in the...

the young old derv. Yeah. Definitely. And just, I guess, just really have a lot of... or dervs at the party. Be ready to eat off yours or any other plate you can get your hands on. Easy. Right. I think if you're get your hands on. Easy, yeah. Right.

I think if you're gonna have a party like this, just make sure it's in a very big space. If you can arrange a lot of doors that can slam. And if someone throws a glass of wine in another person's face, you can jump in front of it and sort of mouth open, take that wine. Oh yeah, it's free wine. It's loose wine.

When the wine's in the air, it's up for anybody. Also, if you listen to Mission to Zyx, we have an episode that's about this. Sure. With Tim Dunn. Oh yeah, Trace-togram. The Real Househusbands of Manch. Yeah. Right.

Tim Dunn's Instagram or Twitter, I forget, is Tim Dunn He-fun. And it gets me every time. Is it? Yeah. Tim Dunn, He Fun. And it gets me every time. Yeah. Great handle. Tim Dunn, He Fun. I do know he like someone stole his Instagram. I was, I coveted it and I took it.

Okay, got it. It's harder to use since my name's not that. Justin Tyler, he liar. Ha ha ha ha. I hatefully taking that. You're fixed. You're fixed. You're fixed. You're fixed. You're fixed. So, this is a three-part question from Dr. Pickle.

I'm an absolute- Escalating the double black diamond of questions. From Dr. Pickle. Okay. I am co-raising two teenagers and I work with college undergrads. Sometimes, I have to tell them things like, don't date people who are mean to you. Don't troll people online for no reason or don't plagiarize your essays.

That's all great advice by the way. I don't know what you should be on this show, Dr. Pippen. But even when I give them good reasons for it, I can tell they still don't believe me sometimes. I hate resorting to you'll understand when you're older or because I said so. How can I convince them I'm cool and reliable and correct so they don't do stupid stuff that hurts them?" Wow. This is a really excellent question, Dr. Pickle. And I will say, we as a group, at least three

of us, sorry, Mujan, are qualified because we have, three of us have little kids who do very dumb stuff sometimes. I shouldn't speak for you guys, my kids do. And, bad pets. And we've had pets. We've had pets who definitely have done dumb stuff. Yeah, how do you square, like, I want my kids to make their own decisions, and to a certain extent make their own mistakes, with, don't do that. Don't ever do that, because you going to ruin your life doing that.

The thing that popped into my head honestly about this question is you can't. Like I think the definition of being that age of a teenager, which is like the transition from being a kid to being an adult, is where you think you know more than you do because you have to operate that way to function if you're going to become an adult. And I think that some of that stuff, like the one, don't date people who are mean to you.

That is so basic and true, but when you're in the middle of that as the person who someone's being mean to, the emotional thicken of that, all the reasons you can give for why that is or how you could have to change, like, you have to go through it yourself to actually figure that out. Don't be people who are mean to you. You have to date someone who's mean to you. Otherwise, you will not learn that. Yeah.

But it's a dangerous thought to a parent. Of course. Oh, God, yeah, it's terrifying. I don't have young kids, but I am a person who had, was a teenager at some point. And I have very strict Persian parents. Thank you, teen core. I'm't have young kids, but I am a person who was a teenager at some point. Yeah, yes. I have very strict Persian parents. Thank you, teen core.

I'm the youngest one here. But I had a very anxious, worried Iranian American parents who were afraid of America. They thought we're all gonna get pregnant as soon as we go outside. So they tried instilling the things that you're saying through like very strict parent ways. But I, you know, the kid brain is anything you say,

I want to do the opposite. Let me say like on the heels of that, like my kids are younger still, but I think it is the difference between being like, hey, don't date people who are mean to you. And like, oh, here's the thing though. You're gonna end up dating people who are mean to you and it's horrible.

I think it's the casual stuff that gets under the armor a little bit. And when you squeeze it and push it, they're like, what could he say? Get out of here with that. I will say this. My kids are six and four and three months and... And one week and two days and one hour.

And negative seven months. What I've realized now is that you don't think of the things your parents teach you, but also you see them interact with other people out in the world and you realize, oh, it has taken effect. They're just not associating those lessons with you directly because that's just not how kids work. And that's tough. You want them to be like, I did the right thing because of what you told me, but they're just never going to do that. That's not how kids act. But I think that you, Dr. Pickle, have treated your kids- Esquire, thank you.

Dr. Pickle, Esquire, MD. You have treated your kids in a way that you are presenting a example for them. Yeah. When they realize that they have made a mistake, the moral code that they revert to is going to be the one that you've instilled in them. And that's what's really important. Yeah.

That's great. I do want to reiterate something Mujan said, which is that you can't get pregnant just by going outside. No, but you can get pregnant by going inside. Oh, shit. Jesus, wow. OK, all right. Oh, no.

I'm sorry. Oh, boy. All right, part two of Dr. Pickle's question, how can I find a decent area rug for a decent price without getting scammed? Wow, Dr. Pickle, what a turn. How can I find a decent area rug for a decent price without getting scammed? Wow, Dr. Pickle, what a turn. I will tell you this, Dr. Pickle, RevivalRugs.com.

This is not an ad. I recently bought a rug from Revival. It's good. They have vintage rugs. Someone wearing a Revival Rugs shirt just walked into Alden's room and gave him a hundred dollars. Revival's good. That would be my answer.

Where'd you guys get your rugs? I have a solution. Go online. Okay. Well, you guys kind of agree because you said that. No, that's part one. That's part one. Go online.

Go on, I don't know, kayak. No, get a travel agent. Buy a ticket to Tabriz in Iran. Oh yeah, now we're talking, Mujan. Okay, go to a village. Find a woman who can barely see, but she's making a rug, okay? You're saying you're scamming this woman out of a rug.

They're my people, I can say it. You can get the finest rug you've ever had in your life. Persian rug, 100%. Talim Mujan sent ya. Yeah. Come back, go into security, American government will not let you back in, but you know, you got your rug.

Tariffs, rug tariff. I've never purchased a rug, are they expensive items? You're a rugless house? I mean, sort of. We have tiny rugs, and I guess maybe I'm not the main rug purchaser in my household. Oh, sure.

The thing is, what would I ever choose to be in a rug? It's hard. It's hard to pick it. It's really hard. I will say, I'm somebody who doesn't, I'm not good at buying things. I'm not good at figuring out a thing that would make me happy to have.

I'm not. So I'm a terrible consumer, but we have this one rug that I look at it and it makes me so happy. Every time I see it, we've lived, I've lived in this house five years and every time I step on this rug, I'm just like, it brings me delight.

I don't know where we got it. So I can't tell you where to get it. I've never felt rug joy. You can also go to a garage sale and get some rugs from other people, but no, a dog is probably pissed on it. Think about all the stuff in that rug. Yeah, that's true.

That's rug. Those people have had pets. Yeah, I'll tell you if they had pets. Every person who ever sold a rug. A pet can become a rug. It's true, yeah. Oh, boy. Especially with all these ones that you-

If this wasn't gonna be our last episode, it was gonna be now. All right, third part of the question from Dr. Pickle. Okay, Dr. Pickle. Is shrimps bugs? Shrimps bugs. Is shrimps bugs? I think shrimps, I've woken up in the dead of night

and screamed this out. It's a very question. I think shrimps is bugs. I think shrimps is bugs. I think we can all agree. There as much bugs as you can be shrimps is bugs. I think shrimps is bugs. I think we can all agree. There is much bugs as you can be without technically being bugs. And I think that's enough of shrimps is bugs under to see. That's yeah, that's true. Yep. If mosquitoes were bigger, would we eat them? Oh, like a mosquito cocktail. I ate a live termite. Live?

When? Why? In Costa Rica. Recently? A few years ago. We were in Costa Rica and doing a guided rainforest hike. And the guide turned over this leaf and saw a termite nest.

And said, these are really good. And they say they actually like put like a couple thousand of them in and will like make them into a burger. Oh my God. And he was like, who wants to try one? And my wife and I were both like, okay. And it tasted like a hazelnut. And it's cause they eat wood.

So they just taste so like, they taste really like, I don't know. Woody? Yeah, it was delicious. It was like a little weird to kill something with your mouth, but it was, I don't know. Woody? Yeah, it was delicious. It was like a little weird to kill something with your mouth, but it was, I don't know, it just went pop. I always, I think, what is that? Lion King, the animated version of it,

changed my perspective by eating bugs because it made it seem so just like moist and juicy and delicious. Wow. Wait, that scene made you more likely to eat bugs? Oh yeah. I mean. That scene is Oh, yeah. Wow. I mean, that's... That scene is disgusting.

The bugs burst. That's one of the only things I remember about the movie is how awful that scene was. It's just squishy, just splat. Ugh, yum, yum. Wow. I guess it does look like they're full of custard, but that's guts. That's just guts. Yeah.

Also, burgers is a strong word. That's a generous term, burgers is a strong word. That's a generous term. Why? Oh, just because you don't think you should be able to call anything a burger that it's ground up animal? You can't put anything in a bun and call it a burger. It's gotta be... Jiggy, stand on what is a burger.

I'm the advice expert, okay? We get to decide. We're the arbiters of what's a burger and what's not right shrimps is bugs But we don't know if shrimps is burger. Yeah I think that's a classic. Dr. Pickle Hashtag you fixed Moving on this one is from grandpappy the dude who dinners probably his real name Hey crew as a seasoned adult,

I occasionally think back and realize, I wish someone had told me that years ago. What's a bit of wisdom or advice that it took you far too long to learn? Love, Grandpappy. Grandpappy. That's a good question. Invest in real estate.

Invest in real estate. Invest in real estate. Start early, start young. Wow. Easier said than done. Easier said than done. Well, not now. I would say not now, but maybe like in 2010. New York City, Barclay Center area, which didn't exist.

That's always my greatest regret. I didn't have the money, but I could have pulled some together with various different sources and I would have been a bajillionaire by now. But do I wanna be a landlord? No, so I take it back, nevermind. Oh, that's true, yeah. So the advice is don't go back in time

and invest in real estate. Become a landlord? Don't. Yeah. That took you too far to learn. Love. Wow. I think the biggest piece that I talk to a lot of people,

especially like doing a creative field, is don't think every opportunity or job is going to be the one. Right, yes. Because it sets up such a ping pong emotionality. Oh yeah. And I think if you can just be like, hey, it's gonna be,

you're gonna take a lot of swings out there. Keep swinging rather than putting all your eggs in the first basket. Wow. That's really good. Seth? I've been stunned by how much going for a walk can change the mental vibe in a way that's so basic and is such a useful thing if you're stuck in some sort of like anxiety spiral. I think the repetition of taking steps, the fact of being outside,

literally just seeing farther, like is like, it just should give you a perspective of like there's stuff outside my mind. It's such a useful thing. I would throw on top of that, if I'm stuck on a question or problem or creative impasse going for a run or taking a hot shower, that works like crazy.

I can't believe how much that works. Really? Oh yeah. It's so like basic, like blood flow or like temperature or something, but man, that's the way. The runner's high is real. Wow. I do have one more to throw on here.

Lock the door you're podcasting in because my wife is actively roasting the things I'm saying right now. It is in the moment. She's standing just out of frame. I mean, basically. Wow. So this is not a legally binding thing, but you fixed. All right. The company I work for is in the film industry, but I don't actually watch movies. How do I pretend to know what's going on with the latest releases and be part of the conversation in the office?

Yeah. Great, great. I think film podcasts are great because you can get not only information, but I mean, this is, I'm crossing a moral line here, but you can just hear opinions also, because it's not enough to just have the facts about like, yes, in The Complete Unknown,

he is Bob Dylan. You need him to have like, well, actually my favorite scene is when he goes on stage and plugs in or whatever it is. So you need like not only information, but opinion. So reading Wikipedia often isn only information but opinion. So reading Wikipedia often isn't enough. Right. So you're saying that you shouldn't go to Metacritic and just be like, critics agree that it's more style than substance. But I could see that really

crushing at the water cooler. I heard 61 of 67 reviews are positive for that one. According to Metacritic, that's universal acclaim. I would say staying according to Metacritic is a real giveaway. I will say I understand where you're coming from, Anonymous. Having three kids has made me very out of touch with pop culture and what's going on. And probably, if I'm being honest,

it'll last for the rest of my life. Wow. See, I say crush tape at night. Watch those movies. watch that TV. You're good at that, Justin. I love it. And that's not for, I can't do it. Yeah.

I feel like if this person has this job already, just saying I don't watch movies, that's such a crazy thing. Like I've never heard anyone say that. That means you must really actively not have any interest in them. And I think that's fine. What if it's just okay that you don't,

you're like, that's not my thing. I do the job here. Yeah. I say this is someone who like doesn't really listen to podcasts. Whoa. Wow. Does Ira know that? Don't tell him that.

I think an honest, helpful response to this, Anonymous, is interested is interesting. I bet you could go a long time without anyone knowing that you don't watch movies if when a movie comes up, you ask what they thought of the movie and just talk about that. If somebody's like, did you watch The Brutalist? You could say, I haven't watched it yet.

How was it? And then that's just the conversation for the next 10 minutes. And it doesn't have to actually be BS. You can actually just get into a conversation about somebody's philosophy on filmmaking. And that could end up being its own fulfilling conversation without you having to really have watched the thing.

Well, don't I feel like a scumbag now based on my advice? Yeah, what I'm saying is Justin's answer sucks. Yeah. You can also be aware of, because you know, if you work for the film industry, it's always, I think, a good idea to like follow things like Variety, Deadline, Hollywood Reporter, just to know the news about how the business is doing. And that's also something you can also talk about, because I assume it would affect your work. So you can talk about the peripher I assume it would affect your work.

So you can talk about the periphery of the film. That's a good call. Spoiler alert, the movie industry is not doing great. No, it's, what are you talking about, Seth? Oh, I guys, I just looked at Metacritic. The critical consensus on The Brutalist is haven't watched it yet. Wow.

Okay, there you go. All right, Anonymous, you're in good company. See, but I know there's an intermission so I can bring that up, and they'll talk about the intermission. I love the intermission. My favorite part was the intermission. That's a hot take.

The critics have watched the intermission and found it. The reviews were Sprite, Bathroom, Phone Call, Realize Forgot Doctors appointment. Yeah. My review is Sprite. Oh boy, guys, we have a time-sensitive one. Oh. We got to answer this quick.

Are we late? Hi crew, my dilemma is time-sensitive. See? It says right there. I've been transported into my phone a la Tron style, and the evil overlord of my vague 90-minute-long 80s movie-esque world has given me this such choice. I love this language. Live in my phone forever, or name the best bad 80s, 90s film and gain my freedom.

So please, Zik's crew, tell me what movies could free me. This is from Powerline. What are the best, the best bad 80s or 90s film? Whew, wow. I mean, trapped in your phone. Aren't we all? Yeah, that's true. What is your guilty pleasure 80s movie? The thing that popped to my mind is Peter Jackson's first film, Bad Taste.

Wow. That is... Which is a just insane, gory movie. There is no more bell-curved director than Peter Jackson. His first movies were so ridiculous and niche and culty. And then he made, you know, Lord of the Rings, which is like truly three of the most accessible, popular, critically acclaimed movies of all time. And now he's on the other side where he made

the Hobbit trilogy, which everybody's like, what are you doing? Bad Taste has a scene where someone burrows vertically through another person with a chainsaw. Vertically. Okay. Yeah, it's like a gross out. Vertically.

It's like a low budget, absolute gross out movie, but it's so gross out to the point of absurdity and it has comedic elements. So if you can tolerate grossness, I very much recommend Bad Taste if you haven't seen it. That's a great reg. The one I would throw out that straddles the line between those two decades is The Rocketeer.

Wow. That movie's awesome. That's a great movie that just never got any- But is it a bad movie? Do you actually think it's bad? I think it's great, but I think the world has decided it is not a good movie. Uh-huh. You want a movie that's actively bad? That you love. it's great, but I think the world has decided it is not a good movie. You want a movie that's actively bad?

That you love? Hmm. I would throw out Cocktail. Oh man. That movie has a lot of problems, but that's a great movie to watch. I think. I would say my choice would be Ladyhawk, which is like a lot of movies from the 80s. You watch it now and you're like, how did this script and how did this direction

get past anyone? It's ridiculous. But it's also very satisfying in a way. It's so joyful in like a weird 80s way. I'm looking at the cast, Matthew Broderick, Rutger Hauer, and Michelle Pfeiffer. Wow. Yeah. Stars. Yeah. They were born to be in that movie together. Yeah, it's about a guy who has a hawk who is a woman, I think.

Well, that checks out. The plot is that a woman is trapped in the soul of a hawk. Like mannequin, but for a nice bird. What's that movie? I should know the name of it, but Johnny Five was in it? Oh, Short Circuit. Yeah, Short Circuit. Short Circuit.

I don't know if that's considered a bad movie. That's a movie as a kid we watched like a million times. I think it might just be good. Well, let me say, I think Short Circuit 2, you could consider a bad movie that would satisfy the parameter. In that movie, Johnny Five ends up in New York, he ends up fighting and then joining a gang, quote unquote,

whose tagline song was, Los Lobos kick your ass, Los Lobos kick your face, Los Lobos kick your balls. Los Lobos kick your face. Los Lobos kick your balls into outer space. Nice. Nice. I don't know why that takes up space in my brain. Me too. But that maybe is the dumbest thing that's ever been on film. I think you're absolutely right, Justin.

I think that may be the stupidest fucking movie of all time. I'm glad we got there together. We got there. The fact that that was a thing that was on film that people went to the movie and paid money to see. It sort of doesn't matter what the rest of the movie is about. The fact that that was in that movie, people did it and made it with a straight face. I think of your mother who was a snow blower is a line that just like fully is rattling around in my brain.

Permanently. Also doesn't make sense. Not at all. So, genealogically inaccurate. Great. I hope you get out of your phone, Powerline. Oh yeah, I hope that got you out. Oh yeah, that part.

Yeah, good luck. Good luck. Yeah, good luck out there. But Powerline, you have the skills in your name. It's true. Yeah, thanks. Fixed. Fixed.

I'm at something of an inflection point in life. For the last 25 years, I've worked for the government and I'm kind of done with it. Thanks to my military pension, I have a degree of stability to pursue my interests, but life experience tells me that the childhood dream of world domination involves a lot more admin work and a lot fewer space lasers than I care for. What should I do and why should it be international art thief? Oh boy. Honestly, when it's time to make decisions

of this magnitude, my brain clocks out and I can only come up with stuff like vigilante street sweeper or amateur arm wrestling contest efficient. So I guess I'm looking for more achievable dreams. Ideas? Signed flux capacitors. I mean, my advice would be with a pension talk,

there is sounds like a comfortability there or safety. I would leave that job when it feels right, chill for a little bit and decide what you wanna do. Because I think something will present itself in the time when you take space, when you're taking very hot showers and going for jogs, you know, getting that blood flowing, then the next thing will appear for you.

I think that's a good idea. I also think some other exciting job options could be a scientist who tracks wolves, Yes. Whoa. or a shark biologist, Yeah. a firefighter. Right.

Are you reading off a list? Cause these are, these are good. No. Yeah. These are very good and very good. Actually, this person would have the time and the resources to figure out if Shrimp's is bugs, for once and for all. Smart way to combine what we're talking about. A treasure hunter.

Someone hires you to do the things like get art. Yeah, good. I feel like I've read this critique of modern capitalist society before, but like people talk about how it's tragic that we feel like we need to turn our hobbies into jobs. Like we feel like we need to monetize the thing that we enjoy doing because it's impossible to just do what you like to do and not care if it pays the bills or not. But I think flux capacitance is in a place where that might not actually be true.

Like if you're in a position where you really could do something you wanted to do and not really care if it makes money or not, I think the move there is you should do what you feel is exciting and try to be deliberate about not monetizing it, at least at first. And then if you decided something that you like so much that you could make a job, great. And if not, it's just, then you've got a new hobby. I have a friend who volunteers at the Natural History Museum. Oh, is that like a docent?

No, as to help remove sediments from possible dinosaur bones. Whoa. Possible bones. Wow. Oh, this one's a shrew. We messed up. This one's an old Coke can. Not a bone.

He sends us photos of like, here's a leg and we're like, oh. That's the title of my Slow Burn erotica fiction is possible bone. So I got a question for you not to put you on the spot, Justin, but you are a person who's been very good at monetizing your interests. If you were to do something that you knew you would never, for the rest of your life, get paid to do, but you didn't have a choice, you had to do it,

what would it be? Oh, like review five star hotels. I mean, sure, that's a great, yeah, that's a great example. It was wonderful, five stars. Just get, continue to make sure that they are five-star. I guess the problem, Mujan, there is that it assumes that Justin has limitless money. Oh, it's for Justin. I'm talking about like, what is something that you find so fulfilling that is an activity

or a hobby that you would do it even if you were never able to monetize it? Hammock reading. No, that's not specific enough. It's got to be... It's not specific. That's very specific. You're just describing relaxing. I mean like a hobby. Reading in a hammock is not a hobby. Wow. That's a specific tableau of relaxing. Tableau. I mean, that's a tough question because, dear, what you just said up about me, like, I have taken my hobbies and just squeezed them into life.

A drop of blood from every stone. Wait, I want to know the list now. What's the most weird thing that you've monetized? Comic books, writing, comedy of some sort. So there's not like weird, you don't have like a really like. You talking about my frog racing earnings? Yeah, I didn't wanna say it. But yes, I've earned millions.

A lot of fast hoppers in the background. Yeah, Fast Hoppers is the name of my squad. It's your LLC? Yeah, if you got yourself a frog or even a toad that you think has the moves, they can pump it. Alden, what's an example? Like, what would you say? Yeah, what do you got?

Here's the thing. I have too many of them, which is a real problem. I'm the opposite of Justin. Name one. Because cooking. I love cooking. I was going to say cooking. I was going to say cooking.

I could never in a million years work in a kitchen. I could never be a professional cook or a professional chef. And I was going to say cooking, but I would actually one up that and say, and this is even weirder because this is just a money based job, is bartending. Really? You would bartend for free? Yeah. I agree with that. Knowing what I know about you, I think that's a perfect answer. Mujan, what is a hobby that you like so much

that you would do it if it never made money? Running, and I know that I'm not fast enough to ever receive... To be a professional runner. To catch the money. But I just like doing it. Really? That's great. That's great. I guess I didn't really know that about you, Mujan.

I was very sporty growing up. I played softball, basketball, soccer. And then I hated running for a little bit I played softball, basketball, soccer. And then I hated running for a little bit. And then when I was in my 20s, I realized running, you can just play music and it's like dancing and nobody knows. And so I started just running in my 20s. And I realized the mental healthness of it.

Like, oh, I feel happy whenever I do it. I don't care about the PR. Yeah, the PR. I don't do for the PR babies. I do it just because it makes me a functional person. PR stands for personal record, not public relations. No. Okay.

Seth, what about you? Honestly, if I for some reason did not need to make income, I would descend rapidly into being an obsessive metal detector person. Wow. I'm afraid of how much I would metal detect. The other, the other thing. How much I would metal detect. The other thing is snorkeling. Mm, yeah.

I, like, I. You're chasing gloss gold like nobody I know. You're detectoring or. You know, those two things can be combined, Seth. One time in Hawaii, I like snorkeling. You know, those two things can be combined, Seth. One time in Hawaii, I snorkeled to the point where, just a little bit off the beach, not far out or anything, but to the point where I came out and I was wheezing water and fell over because I had this feeling where I was like,

I gotta see all these fish. Oh, yeah. I gotta see all of them. I gotta catch them all. And there's some over there. I gotta see all these fish. Oh yeah. Like I gotta see all of them. I gotta catch them all. And like there's more, there's some over there. I gotta see those guys. They're, they have you see, like I wanna look, like get out of the way and be like,

you guys see these fish? Yeah. They're beautiful. And then dive back in. You love being under the sea. Oh, it all comes back around, yeah. Yeah, being face down, looking at beautiful fish would never stop. Wow.

I kinda wanna pay you though for that. Yeah, that's the problem Seth. You can't not get paid for something like that. Yeah, we got to pay you. I don't totally understand the question because there's so many things that you just can't hope to get paid for so it seems like- See, but that's the thing Seth,

that reflects a healthy mental attitude that I don't have Seth. That's the problem. Whenever I, here's the thing for me, I remodeled my kitchen last year and my first thought was, you know, if I started a YouTube cooking show, I can write this off on my taxes. That's the mental illness that I have that I'm like, how can I make this work for me? And that's not what a hobby should be. That's not what something you love should be for you.

You've been a freelancer your whole life. I'm a W2 guy. Sure. But that's a different level be that's not what something you love should be, but you've been a freelancer your whole life I'm I got I'm a w2 guy sure like that's a different one. That's fine. That's the line Same office since 2006. Yeah, exactly. We sit around being like what is money? But I mean to be fair like You know all of us came up at UCB Yeah, an improv theater where the entire fucking business model is, this will never make you money, this will always cost you money. And we figured out a way to do it where more people could listen to it, more people could support. Like, we made it a thing that at least sustained itself.

Mission is X. That's it. Mission is X, as improvised science fiction podcast. Check it out wherever you get your podcast. They based the name on the name of our podcast. Fix Game. Yeah, exactly. We've been fixing for years. Obviously, Mission is X has been around for decades, but that's a perfect example.

I love sci-fi. I love comedy. I always wanted to make this big sci-fi world. We figured out a way to make it, but it was something that had to pay for itself, and so we did that. I think that Flux Capacitance is also trying to figure out a way to do something that is fulfilling to him without it being something that necessitates

becoming his job. Well, Flux Capacitance, I hope you figured out, I suggest spending too much money on revamping your kitchen and trying to... Trying to write it off with a lie about a YouTube show. Yeah. Yeah. You're fixed.

You're fixed. You're fixed. We got one more, one more, and then we'll do the lightning round. Woo. I play music and work a boring day job. I would like to be more productive in my artistic pursuits.

How do you keep motivated and psyched up for side projects that take a lot of time and energy?" Wow. You're talking our language. I love Zyx, I love the crew and Shannon Justin. Oh, that's nice. You're also talented and amazing. Love, Spathy. What a great question, Spathy. Well, I have an answer for this, which is, and I think we did it here at Zyx, which is to surround yourself with people that you enjoy being with and working with, and then it doesn't seem like a lot of time or energy, except for Shane who spends a lot of time and energy.

Don't ask Shane that question. Yeah, don't ask Shane that question. But like, you know, making community out of it. You get to do the thing that you love and also get to spend time with people and that feels like it's worth it. And that is a privilege to be able to have people around you who want to do the same thing as you,

who you feel you're at the same level as, and that's not something that everybody has access to, but I do think that finding that community of people, I think is, if you don't have that yet, or if you have not enough of that, should be your highest priority. Yeah. And I would say from a personal motivation sense,

it's less about doing a bunch of complicated things and more about being like, on this day, for these two or three hours, I'm going to do the creative thing. It's literally like a calendar problem. At least for me, it's like, I'm actually blocking this time off, and then it happens. Yeah.

And I feel like those things can go together where once you're collaborating with people, you're beholden to them. And if the struggle is sort of motivation where it's like, I'm exhausted from my day job and now this is the only time I have to do this, I just want to be watching TV. If you have committed to jam with this person

or write with this person, you just are like, well, I don't really feel like doing this, but I'm gonna do it because I committed to this person, and then you have a great time. Yeah, gets fun fast. Yes. Yes. Also, there's no right amount to do it.

If you have some imaginary amount where it's like, I should be doing this at this, and it's actually not the amount of music you want to make, but you just feel like if I am this, I should be doing it more. You're still a musician no matter how many hours, you're doing it at a given time. I think that's what we did with Zyx. We did this big difficult project that took a long time and a ton of our energy.

The best thing for us was to take a year or two and decompress and wait until another thing came up that we were as excited to put that amount of work into. Yeah. Yeah. Spothee? You're fixed. Well, guys, we're nearing the end of our episode here. I think it might be time to do a quick lightning round of some of our shorter questions. This one's for Justin. I've always struggled with something and I was hoping you guys could help me make sense of it. At what specific time does afternoon turn to evening and why is it four? From Sus on a Bus.

Great question. The answer is when you put down the coffee and pick up the beer. Wow. Nice. It's four o'clock somewhere, they might say. This is one for Seth. I now have a job that I have little to no actual work for, and I'm wanting to write a series of romantasy novels.

Wow, I love that word. Romantasy novels, but I'm running out of good mystical creatures for people to get steamy with. What are some good ones that aren't overdone? Brandon from the fan cast. Half salamander, half chair. Not common at all. Merman and mermaid, but the top half is fish.

That one's, the logistics of that gets interesting. And also tiny dragon with a big dragon. Is one that I think you can't do too much at all. You mean like a tiny dragon fucking a bigger dragon? is one that I think you can't do too much at all. Oh, that's cute. You mean like a tiny dragon fucking a bigger dragon? Oh, of course not. Wow, they're in love, Alden. Yeah, I mean, yes.

I wasn't gonna say it like that. No, you can't. Oh, no. Oh, boy, I've been doing it wrong this whole time. All right, this one's for Mujan, because you're truly the master of made-up names. My friend is looking for a stage name for performing stand-up. What Zic's character would make the best on-stage pseudonym?

I did nearly suggest Nandoloid to him as a surname at one point. This is from Fainissa. Well, why don't we think of... Because, you know, I think Zic's characters would be fine names, but I feel like if your friend is looking for a stage name, it should be something unique. It should be something that's never been done before. Why don't we all just come up with a couple of names right now? Sure. So this is a stand-up persona.

Yeah, let's go around the horn and really kind of come up with something. I guess Mike Crowdpleaser. Oh, good. Yeah. Chuckle's Double Chest. Hmm. Oh, that's good. Dan Dan the Chapman. Yep. Tight Clive.

Scissors Contigo. Wow. That's like a prop comment for sure. Really pronounced that with a U sound. No, honestly, no. Seth. Farny Crisscross. Bart Caltrain.

Bart Caltrain, yes, yes, yes. I'm familiar with Muni Bart Caltrain, yes. Yeah. Wow. And Cynthia Plagerism. Oh boy. Yeah. Wow. And Cynthia plagiarism. Oh boy. If you can't find a good name in there, I... That's a lot of gold.

Next, this is for Justin. What should I do for my birthday? Especially solo things since I have no set plans with family so far because it's me, I'm planning a trip to a bookstore. From time and relative nerd in space what should I do for my birthday outside of the trip to the bookstore I mean that sounds like a pretty good birthday to be honest yeah easy to plan it's just go to the bookstore I think go to another birthday

party and blow out their candles yeah I'll teach him to have a birthday on your birthday make some new friends with people who share a common ground. You know what I love as a birthday that I did for many years? You guys know this. A crawl. I did a bar crawl. Oh, right. But you could do an anything crawl.

Do a bookstore crawl. Say, hey, come to this bookstore and we'll go to another bookstore. Then we'll go to a third and fourth bookstore. All of them have different stuff. Some of them have cafes. Some of them are in places that are hard to get to or interesting looking. And you're all set. Some have gone out of business since the crawl started. If I know anything about bookstores, they're probably going out of business this very moment.

I love a crawl. They're an adventure. It's like a little treasure hunt. That would be my advice. That was Justin's like a little treasure hunt. That would be my advice. Was Justin's question, but thank you. I'm sorry, Justin. That's how lightning works. It strikes at random. I'm sorry, I just thought your answer wasn't good enough. That's a good reason. Yeah. Seth, this one's for you and Justin, if you feel like jumping in.

Is it wrong to bribe my D&D players with actual candy to have them choose what I think is the most fun outcome for me? From Thomas R. No. Great. I think that answered it. That's lightning. What could be more right than that?

Alright guys, this has been so much fun. We've got one last question from Noelle. I have a philosophical quandary. I personally take a lot of comfort in the idea that given the random chaos of our universe, nothing inherently matters. Wow, okay, that's sort of preemptively shitting on whatever answer we're giving. It means that humanity gives our actions meaning, not the mechanisms of the universe, and that the smallest act of kindness between two people holds just as much importance as a supernova exploding galaxies away.

My question is, what's a piece of philosophy you hold that comforts you? I mean, let me just say that person should be hosting this podcast. Yeah, you're right. Piece of philosophy that we hold dear. That comforts you. Everything that's happened has already happened before. Whoa! The pain and experience that you go through in life, other people have also experienced. So, you know, it may feel lonely sometimes, but there's a shared universal feeling in all of it too.

Oh, that's really nice. I like that. If it's yellow, let it mellow. So comforting. That's so comforting. That's about P, right? Yeah, there's more to it. Oh, yeah, continue.

The other part is not as philosophical. Yeah, the first part is very philosophical. The second part is just good logistics. If it's brown, flush it down. Wow. Thank you, Justin. So helpful. Philosophical yeah, the first part is very philosophical second parts just good logistics if it's brown flush it down Wow, thank you Justin so helpful Seth

This feels like a cop-out, but I actually This is true. I I think about what Noel thinks about I don't feel like I'd have it as a clear Philosophical maxim in the way that Noel does, but it does come for me to just think about things like the age of the universe, the distance of planets, the number of stars. It does feel like it can make daily turmoil feel less overwhelming because of just how big and how old everything is. I like that. I like that philosophy, although sometimes it has the opposite effect where I think, oh man, the universe has been around for 16 billion years and it's all led up to me saying that dumb thing to my...

To Kirsten Dunst. My in-law, yeah, to Kirsten Dunst. It all has led up to me saying that dumb thing to that weird person at a party. But no, you're right. I actually kind of, for me, the thing I think about is the opposite, like the smaller version of it, where I'm like, everything is atoms. And that's, that's where it stops. Like, the dumb things that I do, or the things that I worry about, or the things that I'm scared of, or the things that I regret. Those are all, in the end, like everything is made up of the same basic building blocks,

and none of those are going anywhere for trillions of years. Like those atoms are going to be there just in different forms for the rest of time. I don't know if that really helps me be a better person. Annihilates. Yeah. But it does kind of calm my nerves sometimes. Beautiful. Anything else to say about that?

I feel like there's gotta be like a, what's a good saying about coffee in the morning? Like a- Drink it. Yeah, drink it. Coffee, drink it. Coffee, drink it. It's like a good, I don't know if it's a philosophy, no coffee? Coffee? Drink it. Coffee? Drink it. It's like a good philosophy.

No coffee? No coffee? Goodbye. Your job would be kidding me. Exactly. But for me, I think sometimes even if it's the hardest of days, the hardest of weeks, I really love my coffee in the morning and it's like a reset. So I don't know if there's a new philosophical saying.

That's a philosophy. Yeah, that's a philosophy. Should be on a kitchen window. Like, don't talk if there's a new philosophical saying. That's a philosophy. Yeah, that's a philosophy. Should be on a kitchen window, like, don't talk to me before I coffee. Like, you know, those things, I think I hold true to those. Wait, if it's yellow, keep it mellow. If it's brown, drink it down. Drink it down. Because it's coffee.

Because it's coffee. It's orange juice and coffee. It's orange juice and coffee. You got to let that orange juice mellow before It's orange juice and coffee. You gotta let that orange juice melt before you drink it down. Yeah. Everyone, this has been maybe your favorite installment of Mission to Fix.

We've changed a lot of lives today. Yeah. This has been a lot of fun. It's fun to kind of dig in to stuff with you guys. This has been a blast. Yeah. And don't forget to tune in next week to listen to this same episode. The last episode of this podcast. Don't forget to tune in next week to listen to this same episode, the last episode

of this podcast. Don't forget to tune in. Never. Yes. And also, another day, another cup of coffee. Don't speak to me when I've had my coffee. Espresso yourself. A good day starts with a great cup of coffee.

Uh-oh, she's broken. Coffee is not a drink. She's fully. It's a moment. Life is short. Drink good coffee. Keep calm. Gas no. Keep calm. Gasoline. Keep calm. Gasoline. That's not coffee. Coffee is a gasoline of life.

Music Alden here again. Hope you enjoyed that episode. Now, if you need more advice immediately, advice that is even worse if you can imagine that, well when you support our show at MaxFun, one more perk is that you get access to all of our bonus content, the newest of which came out this week and we're calling it the Durf Cast. Not to be confused with the young old Durf Chronicles, no this is an in-world podcast hosted by Durfcast, not to be confused with the young old Durf Chronicles. No, this is an in-world podcast hosted by Durf himself. And in this episode, Durf, you'll never guess this, also answers questions submitted by

fans on Discord. Fans just like you, if you choose to support, and we really hope you will. So go to maximumfund.org slash join and select our show, Mission is X, when signing up. Thank you and we will see you soon.