MMA Fighting - We Got Next | Kay Hansen Opens Up About Eating Disorder, Abusive Past That Nearly Derailed UFC Career

Episode Date: November 25, 2021

Kay Hansen has had to fight in and out of the cage for the last several years of her life. The 22-year-old UFC fighter opened up about why she withdrew from her March matchup with Cheyanne Buys and her long layoff ahead of her UFC 270 matchup with Jasmine Jasudavicius in January, steps she has taken to get her physical and mental health on the right track, her hopes that telling her story will help other young girls struggling with similar circumstances, her search for answers, and more in a powerful conversation with MMA Fighting's Mike Heck. Follow Mike Heck: @MikeHeck_JR Subscribe: http://goo.gl/dYpsgH Check out our full video catalog: http://goo.gl/u8VvLi Visit our playlists: http://goo.gl/eFhsvM Like MMAF on Facebook: http://goo.gl/uhdg7Z Follow on Twitter: http://goo.gl/nOATUI Read More: http://www.mmafighting.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to the Vox Media Podcast Network. Hello there, everybody, and for those of you celebrating, happy Thanksgiving. And welcome to a brand new edition of We Got Next. Hi, I am Mike Keck. It's a big festive time with family and friends. And if you're driving to a get-together or if you're staying home or even if you have to work on this holiday, we appreciate you checking out the show here on MMI fighting.com on the MMA fighting podcasting network. If you haven't done so, make sure you rate,

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So. This will not be a typical show for a couple of different reasons. One, because it is Thanksgiving after all. So I'm not going to sit here and talk for 45 minutes. And the biggest reason is because I think this is incredibly important, this conversation. If you missed it or even if you read the article but didn't hear the actual conversation, I spoke with UFC fighter Kay Hansen. And she's getting ready to return on January 22nd, again,

Jasmine Jazz DeVizius, and a lot of people had been reaching out, doing matchmaking suggestions on onto the next one, wondering where she has been for the last year or so. And she was scheduled to face Cheyenne Bayes back in March. A couple of weeks before that fight was set to happen. Kay Hanson did something she had never done in her fighting career. She withdrew from a fight. And we hadn't seen her since then. She booked this fight, so it had been, by the time she makes the walk to the Octagon at UFC 270 on

January 22nd against Jazz and Jazz DeVizius, it'll be around 14 or so months that she's been out of out of action. So I wanted to know what was going on and what I got was something that was incredibly unexpected.

It was so open and so honest and quite eye-opening. So that conversation will be the show this week with Kay Hansen. And before we get to that interview, I have to let you know that the conversation contains content that might be tough to hear of a sensitive variety, if you will, some very uncomfortable topics. And it may not be suitable for all audiences. So listener discretion is advised. Thank you for listening. And once again, a big thank you to Kay Hansen for this incredible conversation. Here it is.

right now. Thank you very much. Let us welcome Kay Hansen back to the show. She returns to action. The first pay-per-view of 2022 for the UFC. UFC 270, January 22nd, taking on Jasmine, Jazz DeVizius, first fight in over 14 months for Kay Hansen. Great to have you back. How are you? And the dog, of course.

Yeah. I'm doing great. I'm super excited to be, you know, back in the swing of things and get back in the mix there. So you've been through quite a bit, it seems, since you're. your last fight. I know you were supposed to fight Cheyenne Bay is in March, and now you're coming back. And on top of that, cool news, you go from the apex, 100 people or so to this big crowd in Anaheim. This turned out pretty well. Did it not? Yeah, it really did. You know, it all kind of just lined up perfectly. I was originally slated for the 15th. And then, you know, I asked Dana,

I was like, hey, a week later, you're in my hometown. You know what I mean? Like, I'd love to put on a show for my hometown crowd. And I haven't fought in my home. town in a long time. So, uh, you know, a lot of my teammates and friends and family are going. So I'm super excited. It's all kind of lining up perfect. So you got the clearance from from the big man himself and Dana Wyatt? And he was on board with this. Yeah. He had no like, I brought it up. And he was like, all right, let me let me change it. And he changed it. And it was like super smooth. But there you go. So overall, I guess the question I have is why have you been out for so long? Like you put some updates out there on social media. But for those who may not have seen it,

Has the layoff been so long? What's been going on? I mean, I struggled with an eating disorder for a while. And, you know, it's something that I struggled with, like, outside of fighting, too, but also being in a sport that revolves around, you know, feeling and looking at peak athleticism and around weight and stuff. I just kind of let it get out of hand. I unfortunately had to pull out my fight last March because everything was just kind

of crashing in on me health-wise. So, you know, I had to, like, kind of pull back, fix the physical and mental side of it and kind of let my body heal, you know. If anyone's fault in my career, they know since I was 18, I've had like 14 fights, you know, six pro boxing matches. I've just been nonstop, like, you know, fighting and making weight. But, I mean, I was young and I didn't really know what I was doing and I just had developed really bad, you know, habits. Like I just wasn't eating anything, but also training super hard two to three times a day. So I just kind of had to put my health,

first for once in my career, kind of all caught up for me or to me. Yeah, and obviously a lot to unpack with what you just said. And, you know, you've obviously said some things about what you've just talked about that have resonated with some folks out there that I wanted to sort of follow up with. One thing in particular, as we're speaking about this year and everything you've gone through, you've gone on social media, you've said this a few times, you've spent this year outside of your comfort zone. How so?

What did you mean by that? You know, this is. going to sound maybe stupid to some people, but like I had to relearn to like how to eat, you know what I mean? And, you know, it's called an eating disorder for a reason. There's disorder thoughts behind that. And like I got to the point where I was convinced that like I didn't need to eat and eating would make me, you know, blow up and be big and I'd miss weight. And like, you know, and I never had a problem making weight. So I don't know why that was, you know, a fear in my head. But it was just a lot mentally to try to rewire. You know what I mean? I'm an

athlete. I need fuel for my body and I never looked at it that way. So I literally had to like reverse diet. I had to take off a month and a half of zero physical activity, which was really hard for me because I've been, you know, super active since I was 18 and I went pro. I've been nonstop. You know, so just mentally and physically like having to take a step back like that, it was really hard. You know what I mean? my body literally like relearning how to digest food and I'm trying to fix all my my hormones back to normal. You know what I mean? And my blood work, everything that was showing there, I had to like take supplements and like I'm still like improving everything. Everything's not perfect.

But, you know, right now I'm in the best shape of my life for sure. And I'm actually fueling my body and learning to be okay with that. Do you remember the moments where you're just like enough. enough like I can't keep doing this the the moment I decided I had never pulled out of a fight before um you know what I mean I fought injured I fought with a lot of issues going on whether it's my personal life or physical or whatever um but I remember uh I kept getting like ear infections and just like random infections and then um you know I was always lightheaded I had zero energy I had bruises and like black guys that weren't healing for, you know, a month or so.

And like, I just always felt drained. You know, I was getting really tiny and like, but everything was also inflamed. It was just, I felt so shitty. And it got to the point where my coaches started noticing, you know what I mean? And they were like two, three weeks out from the fights. They're like, how about you take a few days off and like, you know, me in my head? I'm like, I have a fight soon. I can't take any days off.

And like, I don't know. I just got to the point where I was just like, everything started crashing down. You know what I mean? Like I said, I was getting sick. I was always lightheaded. I was getting dizzy. Like, I found out I was severely anemic.

I was vitamin D deficient. So literally, like, I lost my period. Like, my whole body, everything was just like, we're done. Like, we can't. And it got to the point where just like I physically couldn't really train, you know, and I'm two weeks out from a fight. I was like 10 days or something. And I'm like, if I can't physically train right now,

there's no way I'm going to be able to fight. And that was like a really hard decision. for me because like I said, I've never pulled out of a fight, you know what I mean? And it's like I've always prided myself on pushing through and like, you know, I thought pulling out would be weak. But it got to the point where I couldn't really deny it. Yeah, because there's this photo, there's sort of like a tri image of you that you shared now long ago. And the first photo was less than a year ago. You said you were, you know, your relationship with food was what was pretty awful. You were extremely unhealthy. You weren't consuming very much. The middle photo, eating on more,

of the reverse diet like you talked about, but weren't doing much physically. And then the third photo is kind of now, like regular diet, exercise routine. And you seem obviously happier. Like you said, this is the healthiest you felt in a long time. Like how would you describe how you feel now compared to those other two photos?

I mean, it's kind of crazy because my first photo when I wasn't really eating, I was confident in my body. You know what I mean? Because I was like feeling small all the time. And like, I felt like I was doing the right thing, you know, so I felt good, like, mentally, but it was like a false good. You know what I mean? It was just like I thought it was good. And then when I had a reverse diet,

that was extremely hard for me. I feel like that was for sure the toughest, you know, time, having to not train and like carb refeed for, you know, weeks and weeks and like, so it was just super uncomfortable for me, you know what I mean? I'm not getting to do physical activity. And like, even if I wanted to, like my body physically couldn't. You know, so that was pretty rough, especially as an athlete. You know, you're used to training two, three times a day and you go from that to be feeling like you're overeating and lazy because you're not, you know, you're not training for a month plus. But I mean, now it's taken a lot for me. But now I'm back to like I'm eating, you know, three, four meals a day.

I'm training two to three times. but I've learned how to, like, limit my intensity. You know, I used to do two to three workouts of just balls to the wall, like, 100%. And, you know, I've now learned that, like, my body can't do that. And especially when it comes to longevity in the sport, you know what I mean? I'm 22 years old and I'm just getting started. So I want to make sure my body, you know, isn't, excuse me, that my body isn't crashing down on me just yet.

You know what I mean? But I feel good. I've never felt better, you know, I feel good now that I'm eating. and training. You know, I feel like I'm a lot stronger. I'm a lot faster. My mind is a little sharper. So, you know, it's kind of like a new, new version of myself. I feel like I'm kind of growing up as an athlete. It's Kay, Hanson 2.0. Exactly. Yeah. How long have you struggled with this? Like the relationship with food, keeping everything at a healthy level, the confidence that's attached to that, et cetera. Like, how long has this been a struggle for you? You know, it's been like on and off. I'd say since I was like 18 or 19.

You know, growing up, like, as a woman in general, like, with social media being more of a thing, like, you're kind of, you look at a lot of people on social media and, like, you want to look like that and be like that, especially when you're a young girl, you know, so I kind of fell into that a little bit. But then, I don't know, it was just kind of like my defense mechanism, you know what I mean? Like whenever things in my personal life weren't going well, I would just say, all right, I don't care. I'm just going to turn my brain off. I'm going to go train and just not eating. kind of came with that for some reason. You know, I haven't really found the root of why. But I just for sure, like, the peak of it was last year,

probably around like August all the way to like I had to pull out of my fight was like the worst chunk to where like my body was like actually shutting down. I never had it that bad because I feel like I went through like ups and downs, you know, normal times when I'd eat and then it would kind of hit me for a couple months. I'd kind of come out of it and then it would hit me. but this one was like the longest like I had been like just stuck in that like not eating like kind of like mindset you know what I mean but I mean I've had to like I still I still struggle like a couple weeks ago I was having a bad couple of days and like I just didn't want to eat

and like but I'm trying to learn how to force myself to eat when I don't want to you know what I mean so it's like it's not something that's just a quick fix um I'm talking to like sports psychs and therapists and stuff along that line to help me uh because I am a professional athlete and I want to make sure I'm fully functioning as one and as just a normal person in general. You know what I mean? But for me, I don't know. It's been it's been kind of cool seeing my progress in all those aspects, I guess. I mean, this stuff's obviously fascinating and it could help some people.

And if you feel like I'm getting too personal, please tell me to back off and kick rocks, what have you. But I know, I know part of you revealing this information is, you know, like I just said, you know, maybe someone can can read it. see the struggles you're going with and it can help them to struggle less. And that's great. But part of that post, you've mentioned that it's been a combination of bad guidance, the personal trauma in your life that kind of forced your body to shut down along with this. Like, when has that like really happened to you? Like what happened along the way?

Like what sorts of things have happened that are kind of triggers for this? I was sexually like assaulted and raped by a close family member from 16 years old. to 19 years old. And during that time, I was still training full-time, and I was actually fighting professionally at the time. You know, it was just like a pretty traumatic thing, you know, while trying to be a normal person and function normal.

And then when I was 19, I kind of ended up breaking out of that situation and that toxic, like, environment. But like, I don't know, like I said, it's kind of always been like a defense mechanism. You know what I mean? I don't know where it stands from, but it's for sure been, you know, that's a big part of it, just trying to, like, accept my body and, like, you know, be, like,

the most attractive physically as I can to, like, cope with other insecurities that came with that trauma, I guess. Like I said, I'm still talking to people, like, therapists and stuff about this to, like, kind of get to the root of everything. But on top of that, like, when all this was going on, my outlet was always training and fighting, you know what I mean? Like, all this stupid, horrible shit was going on in my life. But I, um, I, um, but, um, I, you know, I'm not, I'm when I went to the gym and I'm getting ready for a fight, none of that mattered. You know what I mean? I'm doing what I love to do.

And that was always my outlet. And with that comes like, like I said, the bad guidance part was just like bad weight cut guidance. You know what I mean? Like distilled water loads and like shit like that that fucks up your body in general. And then just the certain coaches like, I just don't eat. Like it'll be fine, you know. I didn't have all bad guidance, but by the time I had got good guidance, it was already ingrained in me so much that like, my personal life stuff on top of like trying to like be a good athlete and not have to cut too

much weight and like cut out stuff too early you know what I mean it all just kind of compiled into this like big thing and uh I went through a breakup last year around like June ish or something like that and that's what kind of I feel like re-triggered um the whole eating disorder like that's when I just was like I went full send and knew it um and I didn't really even think twice and I didn't even think there was a problem until I literally had to pull out of my fight. You know, that that whole fight camp was pretty rough. Like from when I signed the contract, I shouldn't have signed the contract, you know, and it was like 12 weeks out. But my body, like, still wasn't healed from like the Corey McKenna fight, even though it had been months. You know what

I mean? Like I hadn't addressed things and I never changed anything. And I was continuing to, like, do what I used to do. So my body never recovered. It was never healed, you know? But I was like, oh, I'm going to sign the contract and I'll be fine by the time the fight comes. And it just slowly like went downhill. You know what I mean? And I was like reaching out to my personal nutritionist, obviously, but like the UFCPI nutritionist. We reached out to a couple other nutritionists in the area

that have other meal prep companies. And everyone was like, pull out. Like you are super depleted, blah, blah, blah. But I didn't listen to them. And I try to continue to push myself until we were about 10 days out. And then finally I remember I called my strength conditioning coach. And I broke down and I was like, I can't do this. Like, you know what I mean?

So it was kind of like, I let it get out of hand, you know what I mean? But that's just the like the stubbornness and the fighter in me who wants to just say like, I can do this no matter what, you know? But it was like the first time of my career, I was kind of forced to like put my physical and mental health first. You know what I mean? And I think it's going to obviously pay off a lot in the future, you know? But it took me a long time to get there.

So that's why I'm always so vocal and like honest about things because like maybe if I would have heard this last year, I would have been like, oh, maybe I should stop. You know what I mean? And I know it's a problem not just with like women in the fitness industry or men in the fitness industry, but like little girls growing up who aren't athletes or whatever. Like it's a common thing, you know, and that's something that I've learned while I'm going through all this is like there is a lot of girls, especially with the same issues as me, but they just don't talk about it.

You know what I mean? So I'm like maybe if I talk about it, someone will be like, oh shit, like I'm doing that or I noticed my sister's doing that or like, you know what I mean? because maybe if I would have heard that when I was going through everything, maybe it would help me. So that's why I'm so vocal about it usually. How hard is it? I mean, it's obviously you're reaching out to people now. You're talking to a sports psychologist. You're talking to therapists. How long have you been doing that for? I mean, I started talking to just a regular therapist probably around, around last year,

around July, I would say. But I talked to like two or three. this has been my biggest struggle with finding a therapist. You just you need to click with the person, you know, and like I would do four or five sessions with them. And this was like mid-COVID too, so you couldn't really go in. So everything was either on the phone or over Zoom. So it also makes it a little less personal, you know. But like I have yet to find a good, like regular specialized therapist that I, like, really

gel with. You know what I mean? That really helps me. But the PI, they do have a sports psychiatrist. His name is Micah. And he's actually really helped me. helped me a lot. I started with him pretty much when I pulled out of my fight. I had a couple things scheduled to him before I pulled out, but like my life was such a mess that like I would cancel

on him and stuff. But I started talking to him consistently when like I pulled out of my training because like I wasn't doing anything and like that was hard. So he's kind of helped me, you know, through this whole process. And I've talked to him once a week every Monday. And whenever I'm in Vegas, like I go talk to him face to face. But that's also helped me a lot. And like, especially on the sports side of things. You know what I mean? Like looking at it as like you are an athlete who does need food to fully function. So like just trying to kind of like rewire shit in my brain.

What's interesting is you and I have spoken a few different times now. And I can, I mean, it is night and day how much we're confident. And I guess, I don't know, I think free is probably the word. Like I know you're still dealing with things and still working on things. But you just, I don't know. Like it just seems different. Like you've told some, some stories and we've talked about different things about the fight game and stuff, but you just seem like in a much different place than you did a year ago.

Like do you feel like a little more free now? Like does it not just physically, but do you feel mentally too? You know, for me I've always wanted to use whatever platform I create. You know what I mean? To like kind of tell my story and like just for the sake of like if someone's going through something similar, like you know what I mean? They have an outlet or they see that and they go, okay, I'm not the only person.

Like, and for me, it kind of just like lifted a weight off my shoulder. You know what I mean? It's like not like I was hiding something, but like I don't know. Like I was always like tricking myself into like saying like my eating disorder wasn't even an eating disorder. Like I was just dieting or I was just, you know what I mean? Like doing what I'm supposed to do for my sport. And I kind of just like made excuses for it like without even realizing it.

But then when I kind of like I needed my body to completely break down on me for me to listen to it. unfortunately you know what I mean but I've kind of been through phases during this whole time period this whole past year but I think I finally learned to like appreciate what my body has been through and like what I've kind of put it through and how it's been able to bounce back because I'm for sure the strongest and healthiest I've ever been in my whole life right now you know what I mean and it's taken a lot to mentally and physically get back here but I mean it's it's been cool just kind of like accepting everything and like it's not like facing your problems is not fun

you know what I mean especially like your your mental problems or like the past stuff you've been through like breaking that down finding out why you're doing certain things that are like reactions you know that's just not fun at all but this past year I've kind of had no choice but to kind of dive into those um so for me it's just like I can kind of just be open and talk about it now you know what I mean it's not something that I'm just like storing away and like hiding even from myself. You know what I mean? Yeah. And obviously, thank you for sharing this.

And hopefully people listening and watching can learn and take something from this, whether an MMA affair or not. I'm curious because I know you have, you've dived into the world of exclusive content. And you're doing only fans and things like that. And, you know, good on you. And maybe there's, obviously, if you can make more money, have at it, make that money, son, while you can.

But is part of you doing that? helping you get over some of these other things? Like maybe with the confidence, is it like a confidence thing for you more than anything? Building my confidence. You know what I mean? I wanted to try out the platform, you know, for a few reasons.

But a big thing is, like I said, I've spent this whole year outside of my comfort zone. And I had a big problem when it came to body image for a long time. And not that I was ever like out of shape or because like I grew up and I've always been pretty athletic. You know what I mean? I've always been in sports. I've never had a problem with that.

But I have always had a, a body image problem because of, you know, the past trauma that I went through. So for me, I would just like, like, I feel like posting stuff like that builds my confidence, you know what I mean? But I don't want to just post all that stuff on Instagram all the time. Because like some people don't want to see it. Some people want to see it. And it's like, you know what I mean? So I'm kind of keeping my Instagram a little more professional, personal here and there, but for the most part, just focus on my fighting. And then having that site to, you know, share the pictures that I like love my body.

in and that I like appreciate my body. So it's been a cool experience for me. It's definitely been a confidence booster for sure. And how have, how has life change in terms of the social media and the fans and their reactions to different things? Because like I've seen you, I've seen you respond to people and I've seen you quote tweets of things.

But I have a smart mouth. So I try not. But it's hard for me. Well, I don't know, you know, I think no matter what you do, people are going to be pissed off at you. You know what I mean? if I don't do only fans, there's going to be people calling me a prude,

and there's going to be people, you know, saying, like, talking shit. And if I do make one, there's going to be people saying, oh, you're a whore, you do this, you do that. And it's like, people are going to be mad if you no matter what you do. You know what I mean? And I'm not hurting anyone doing anything. And, you know, my business is my business. And I know, like, when you are in the UFC and stuff,

you do have a public eye on you, and I'm fine with that. You know, you can have your opinion. But I've just learned to block people. Like, I probably have blocked so many people a day now because I see one bad thing. and I'm like, don't feed into it. Just block, just block, just block. Because like I said, people are going to be mad at you no matter what.

I mean, if you're justified or they're going to be like, oh, you're a girl, you're stuck a fighting. Like, you're horrible. And it's like, okay, that's cool. That's your opinion. You know what I mean? So, yeah, I mean, I for sure have gotten like more like, I already got like nasty comments before I even made it.

So now that I have made it, I for sure get like nasty comments and messages. But it doesn't really bug me because like I said, I don't know those people, those people don't know me. And they're going to be mad at me for one reason or another. So it doesn't really bother me. Well, I think you're handling this very well. As you prepare to take on Jazz and Jazz DeVisius, just got a contract on the Contender Series,

getting ready to make her UFC debut. Did you know a lot about her when he got this fight? Did you watch her Contender Series fight? No, I still have it. I don't really like watching tape personally. Obviously, I don't go into a fight blind. Like, I know a little bit about her. I know general about her.

But I kind of leave that up to my coaches when it comes to like watching footage and stuff. When I fight a girl, especially in the UFC, I'm expecting someone to be tough. I'm expecting, you know what I mean? So for me, the approach is the same every fight. I'm expecting the best version of them, you know what I mean? A version that no one's seen because I know that's what I'm trying to do

every time I step in the cage. So for me, I kind of just take the same approach. I let my coaches, you know, do the footage, the coaching, and they tell me what they want me to adjust, what they want me to, like, fix, and we all kind of get together and do it that way. So, like, I know a little bit about her, but I haven't like watched footage or anything like that.

That's just not my thing. I used to watch it all the time and some fighters love it, but for me it's not really my thing. What's sort of remarkable about the story is that you were fighting in training and preparing for fights while dealing with all of this, which is remarkable to me because I mean, I don't even know how you got through a full day of that. Like you're dealing and trying to balance all the stuff.

But yeah, you get in the gym and you feel better about it. But like this camp must feel completely. completely different than every other camp you ever have. It's almost like it's like going so smooth and I'm like, what's the catch? You know what I mean? Like I'm like, okay,

what's going to pop out of me? Because nothing has gone this smooth ever in my camp. Like, you know, I feel good. I'm training two or three times a day and I'm moderating intensity. Like everything's lining up. I mean,

of course, like I have good days and bad days. My life's not perfect. But like it's just like, like it just feels weird. Like it's too calm. You know what I mean? but I'm just going to take it as, you know, my blessings coming.

So I'm just going to go with it and keep a, keep a positive outlook on it and not try to be suspicious about it. Are there, are there like other fighters, teammates, like other UFC athletes that, you know, if things do pop up, you have questions. And I know for at least for a while, it seemed, especially with everything you've gone through, like it's hard to reach out and ask for help and for guidance, so forth and so on.

But are there other fighters, like other, you know, teammates, just other people in the roster that when things pop up, like, you got their number, you hit them up, just for like a little bit of add a little pep in your step, so to speak. Yeah, I mean, especially like when it comes to my teammates, we have a good little like group of girls at my gym, you know, ranging from LFA fighters to like former Olympians to amateurs who are just starting. So we kind of got everyone on the roster or like on the spectrum there. You know what I mean? And that's been kind of cool. Just having, this is the first time I've had like a group of girls that are like drama free in the gym that like we're all cool we all want to help each other get

better um so we for sure like all kind of bounce off each other um you know and i talk to some other women's fighters like outside of my gym what i mean some in the ufc some not in the ufc um but i feel like i've kind of grown to like i used to be very like especially early on my career even if you watch like former interviews and stuff i was always very like almost hostile you know what i mean like oh i'm gonna fight against these girls one day and it's like i think i've like matured enough to where i'm like women empower other women. And like unless I have a contract signed to you, like I'm not, I'm not worried about you. You know what I mean?

And like even if that's the case, there's no bad blood unless there's real bad blood created. You know what I mean? So for sure, I for sure bounce ideas and my teammates and other girls that I've talked to, bounce ideas off of me. You know what I mean? It's kind of cool when you like grow to be a part of the women's in a mate community, like as a whole. You know what I mean?

I guess one thing for like you fighting people. but like there's a lot of great women in the community in general that like you build really good relationship with. Do you feel like the state of women's MMA is, is it a good place right now? Or do you think that we still get some work to do? I mean, I think so. I mean, just like with everything, I think there's always work to do. You know what I mean?

In the men's side, women's side, whatever. But I mean, for the most part, like I have, I've never really had a big problem. You know what I mean? Like with, even with like opponents, like there's never really been bad blood, you know what I mean, or anything like that. I'm not a big fan of all the gimmicks. You know what I mean? Some people do it well.

Like Conradger, he plays this role. And like, that's good for him. He can play it well. But like, I've never been, I don't, I don't want to do that. You know what I mean? So I just kind of go with the flow and I worry about myself. And when I sign a contract, I got one person in mine. That's the only person I'm worried about.

You know what I mean? So it's pretty cool. So 2022, you're obviously going to fight in January. What's the goal? I know it's one fight at a time. We're not looking too far ahead. But after missing 14 months, getting back in there, you're in a much better place than you were a year ago.

How many times you want to get back in there? Do you want this to be just to be a really active year? Or we're just going to focus on that after January 15th, 20 seconds? I would love to have like, especially since I'm starting off in January. You know, I'm starting off really early in the year. So I don't want to like try to make up for a lost time. You know what I mean? So to speak, but I also do want it to be an active year.

I'm really learning to listen to my body, though. You know what I mean? So, you know, if I get out of this fight and I'm no injuries, no nothing, and I'm ready to go. Like, I'll be ready to go. But at the same time, you never know until after the fight, you know what I mean? So, and I mean, I honestly, I would like to go back down to 115. I don't know if it's going to be immediately or in general or maybe I'll say 125. But I'm fighting out 125 so that way I don't have to do like a huge weight cut or any kind of anything crazy.

Because my body's been through a lot this year with reverse dieting and like, So for me, I don't even really want to focus on like a weight cut going into this fight. You know what I mean? I'm just kind of going in there to get back in there and do what I love to do. So we'll see after where my body's at and what it's telling me. And maybe I'll go back down 15. Maybe I'll say it 25. But I mean, either way, I'm focused on this fight right now.

And I'm hoping I come out injury free and ready to like stay active. You know what I mean? I'd love more than anything to fight three, four times next year. but I'm also not going to rush myself into it. I'm going to make sure that my body's good to go with it. Good thing. Where are you at right now, way-wise? I know I'm not supposed to ask women that question, but, you know.

I'm 10 pounds off right now. All right. I mean, that's not bad, but I'm walking at 135 right now by the time of the fight. And I'm like, the diet I'm on is like I'll lose a few pounds a week or, you know, one, two pounds a week. So I'm hoping by the time I get to fight week, I don't have barely anything to cut. You know what I mean? And like I said, I want this fight to be really focused on my skills.

You know what I mean? And I don't want to be focused on that. And I don't want to put my metabolism through anything crazy. You know what I mean? So right now I'm 135 and it should be easy, breezy to get down to 25. So I'm excited. Okay. I really appreciate you, your candor, your openness to tell your story.

I mean, you've gone through a lot. And, you know, I really appreciate. I'm glad you're in a better place. I'm glad you're starting to talk to people. hopefully we can line up the right therapist that you can see, you know, to deal with some of the other stuff you've had to deal with, which is just unbelievable. So thank you so much for the time. I'm sorry I was late. I don't know. That's so much going on. I understand. But thank you for your understanding with that. And all the best to you, the rest of this camp and in the fight against

Jasmine Jazz DeBee's is a UFC 270. I really appreciate it. Thank you so much.