Modern Wisdom - #059 - Relationships 104 - How To Be Single

Episode Date: March 25, 2019

Jonny & Yusef from PropaneFitness.com join me again for the final instalment in our Relationships Series as we tackle the most murky topic of all - how to be single. Expect to learn our top red flags to look out for in a potential partner, why Tinder is a waste of time and how demonstrating value through dance moves can be just as good as having an impressive Instagram account. With great power comes great responsibility - please use The Funnel with the respect it deserves. Extra Stuff: Relationships 101 - https://youtu.be/Sm4lIGLmYEE Relationships 102 - https://youtu.be/O9FA4uJj_pM Relationships 103 - https://youtu.be/8KPoKkNty-A Check out everything I recommend from books to products and help support the podcast at no extra cost to you by shopping through this link - https://www.amazon.co.uk/shop/modernwisdom - Get in touch. Join the discussion with me and other like minded listeners in the episode comments on the MW YouTube Channel or message me... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chriswillx Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/chriswillx YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/ModernWisdomPodcast Email: https://www.chriswillx.com/contact Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Howdy friends, I'm coming to you all the way from San Bernardino in California as I'm out here podcasting and shooting but the internet waits for no man so we are going to continue this week as always and it's a big one relationships one oh four how to be single featuring the long awaited Instagram funnel. Johnny and Yusuf are intent on getting this out of me, so today I'm going to reveal what that means to those of you who don't understand and hopefully not get myself in too much trouble. On a side point, I have managed to get hold of two authors, Robyn Swan and Anthony Summers, who you may have seen in the most recent Netflix

documentary about Maddie McCann. They're coming on and I'm recording with them this Thursday, Prince Swan and Anthony Summers, who you may have seen in the most recent Netflix documentary about Maddie McCann. They're coming on and I'm recording with them this Thursday. So next Sunday we will have the two formal store authorities of investigative journalism on the Maddie McCann case on this podcast. That is going to be absolutely fascinating. I can't wait to get it out, so stay tuned. But in the meantime, we're going to learn how to be single and I'm hopefully not going to get myself in too much bother

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back Johnny and Joseph from propinifitness.com, and it is finally time for relationships 104. The Insta- including the Instagram funnel. This is the episode which is most likely to get me in trouble and make people cross. To Russell Jimmy's. Do you think because we're revealing the funnel, the funnel will work better or worse as a result? I think I need to be very careful today.

No, I think we should go full Louis Theroux and just ask him about it. Fine. So tell us about something. I would say Chris, that this is a very insensitive way of approaching relationship. What would you say to those people? So I think the funnel's going, that this is a very insensitive way of approaching relationships. What would you say to those people? So I think the funnel's gonna be more effective as it.

I'm a god in the funnel. I'm a god in the funnel. I don't think. Anyway, so relationships, one or one, one or two and one or three all charted in the top 50 worldwide on iTunes. So thank you very much. Make sure that you share this episode

because we wanna do the same again. You know, you just think like, what did I say on those episodes? Chris is like celebrating. We're just, oh, I got one. Well, you've just got severe potential regret. Like, you don't know what you said. Yeah. Anyway, so we talked about setting rules and guidelines in relationship, how to find a good partner, then we spoke about cheating and how to get over relationships. And today, it's how to be single. In this room, I'm anti-relationships 101. No, because how to be single includes, I guess, screening for potential parts. So we're in lead gen acquisition and the rest conversion

was operations product delivery. Yes, exactly. That's exactly correct. This is front end. It is. Well, this is this is you, all over a part of the fact that in but you but somehow also mean, yeah, in the assumption is being single doesn't mean choosing the hermit life. It means single with with the goal of a quite acquisition. Not necessarily. Well means single with the goal of acquisition. A quite acquisition. Not necessarily. Well, the goal of acquisition, but what you turn

that acquisition into, is it long-term business, is it short-term business, is it single transaction? So are we assuming? So is the funnel mainly good for short-term stuff. The funnel that we're going to bring up in a little bit is not all that this podcast is going to be about. So that quiz is intensely disappointing. Right, I will explain because everyone's going to be wondering what the fuck is an Instagram funnel. I've been thinking about it. Actually, let's not tell them. We'll just keep it, we'll just going to get out of the way.

I've been thinking about this for ages because I knew that it was going to happen. An Instagram funnel is a particular way to do lead generation for dating. Now, the way that I've kind of tried to conceptualize it, can we define a lead? I was just about to ask that and then I thought, now I'd better not interrupt. Is it in full-cross? No, no, no, you define a lead. Okay, it's a new customer acquisition. Got it.

It's pre-customer. So a lead is someone who is within your circle's fear of awareness, but hasn't yet bought something from you. The reason we're thinking in these terms is because we've been very much in the depths of rearranging our product offering from multiple small cheap offerings compared to five or ten high-end. I should clarify that you're talking about internet marketing. We are talking about internet marketing, Yeah, we are talking about internet marketing, but there are many great parallels. There's loads of parallels.

It's the first level of expressing some kind of interest. So I mean, what are the only two things that you need to do in internet marketing really when it comes to front end? You want lead gen and conversions? Am I right? That's a word. So a lead would be a reader of your website

or someone who is on your email list or someone who has seen your email list or someone who has seen your post on Facebook and then a customer who has always paid you for something. There's also a step between that which is prospect. So lead prospect customer. Okay. Okay. I mean, in this context though, it's someone who's moved a way, moved more towards engaging in with you in something. Whatever that.

Whatever that may be, let's reset. So the way that I've tried to conceptualize it is that everybody, you would be surprised by how many people are appropriate for you and how many people you are appropriate for, but you don't have sufficient exposure. And I think that a lot of that actually comes from simply presenting yourself to them in the best possible light. Now for some people they may be very good face to face or they might be really good dancers for instance. Like if you're a guy who's a good dancer or a girl who's a good dancer you can walk into a nightclub and you'll lead Jenna your dance moves. Like because people are

noticing that's the yeah that's exactly like Macarena yeah exactly how you see use of decent real damage with that that's serious cleaning up oh nice so my point is that everybody needs a domain of competence in which they look like they have a particularly high degree of value. That basically gets you through the door. And I think what this leads on to quite nicely is my criticism about Tinder, which I think

both of you guys know. And this is not a strategy that I use anymore, but it was one that I used about five years ago. And the way that is best, the way that I think is best to use Tinder is. What's wrong with Tinder first? So the reason that Tinder is bad is because it immediately brands whatever interaction you are having with the person under the guise of Tinder. Like, how did you meet, or we met on Tinder? That's the guy from Tinder. You are rated below anybody,

even the worst person who comes through on any of the preferential medium. You're starting the race with a broken ankle or like in trunnel, so hardly. Yeah. And it just mards the rest of the exchange because through the whole fault of your own, but it's just because every other guy or girl that your prospect is seeing on Tinder is possibly a creep or is from a pool of people that you can't send dick pics, can you?

But there's that kind of good. But as my dad would say, with regards to the Tinder thing, you're looking for a streak of piss in a pile of shit. I see, I was going to say diamond in the rough, but I think that's a piece in a pile of shit. So I think Tinder really for that. So I'll turn it in for this. And this particularly works well if you're going away

on holiday. Again, I don't want to come across as the transactional sex guy, but if you need to try and find yourself some companionship when you buy that way. The buying a prostitution guy. If you need to find yourself some companionship while you're going away, I think this is an optimal strategy. So, on to Tinder, you need to pay for Tinder Gold, then you need to be able to move your location to where it is that you're going to go. Pop yourself into there, determine your range, tighten the range in so that you are well within taxi distance of wherever it is that you're staying, so you don't like you're not going to travel to the other side of God knows where.

Then as you're swiping through people, if there's someone that you find that you particularly like, you can scroll down, go to their Instagram, click through one to their Instagram, so it opens, DM them, send message, then go back on Tinder, swipe left, so that they never see you, and never find out that you found them on Tinder, then continue the Exchange on Instagram. Now obviously, what all of this, that particular exchange is dependent on, is the fact that you have an Instagram which at least shows some form of value, and that works for both guys and girls. I think even if not, you still will come across as less of a creep, having an Instagram

profile, an evidence of friends or evidence of some. Absolutely. You're immediately rated above the best person on, the worst person on Instagram is rated above the best person on Tinder. So we've got in this, so, so I've been through that. I've done that with, with Tinder, I've got five or six people on Instagram. There's two problems now. One is, if my Instagram is just first of me like, like, then I'll probably struggle. But also, I have to say the right things to them. So, the same, what should my Instagram feed look like? So I said this on the how to get them

love island video and it's that your Instagram particularly because it's quite surfaced deep, quite transactional, very easy to see to visual, right? Like Twitter and Facebook is a little bit more nuanced because it's micro blogging. Whereas when you're looking at Instagram, it's like window shop, it's just images, right? Yeah, exactly. So Instagram is absolutely no representation of your value, but it is a ubiquitous, internationally recognized form of social currency, and it does represent some degree of popularity. Now, that popularity might have been gained through the fact that you were once in a pono or you do not have like any particular reason or you want part of a race

scandal god knows what it might be but you can't you were recently part of a race scandal with the the anti-Semitic stuff and you're talking about Chris Williamson MP yeah yeah that's really good that That is. So of all of the politicians right. Oh my god. Of all the politicians that I could share a name with. I know it's so important. I had to choose the one that started hating on Jews. Yeah. Doesn't happen very often that you get an anti-Semitic politician in the UK. But the problem is he's been in the news like three times in the last 18 months and all of them have been for bad reasons. It was a hashtag about just hashtag Chris Williams. Yeah, I know.

I actually only had got a nationwide. You know, Paul. Yeah, so he got, someone got his Twitter handle. Someone called Paul Charn, I could done something in the US. Like something really critical. It's like a UK journalist had started tagging tagging pool saying I'm gonna write articles about this So you have to be careful with what you call yourself what your birth name and then you need to be careful And then so yeah with regards to the Instagram thing like I think that you do people do need to think about the way that they come across online

Like as well You might be someone from the old school who says, I prefer to meet people the old way. It's like, well, that's great, but you have to spend an awful lot of time out and about just looking versus how efficient you can be on your phone, especially the fact that you can essentially be dating. This is presuming again, presuming that somebody actually wants to find a partner.

You can be dating on your lunch break. So I mean, browsing around, messaging people and putting in groundwork sort of speak so that you, you know, progress whatever relationship it is. The head of the 90s where you go out to a coffee shop and just speak to people on your lunch break. What I mean is like, that's the interesting thing as well, just on the note of like the image that you're creating on Instagram is what you said about like if there's multiple photos of them just like because I think there is no greater creep stamp than a photo of someone in the house on their own. Because it's just like

or a series of photos of one person in lots of different locations. Yeah, you see some people that all of that profile, at least see this on Facebook like people their profile photo They've got 10 and it's always just them either in their room or in different places. It's like a Sullen. It's like yeah, just I'm happy it like it's like a magazine isn't it or a brochure of you but again like this is you know someone can say well that you know Fucking I'm not using my Instagram as a shot window for me. They're like that's fine But you need to concede that if Instagram was part of your lead generation, which it can be, like again, good dancer, fine, you don't need to do Instagram, you can do whatever.

But if you want to give yourself, obviously, you know, 80, 20, it cover all of the bases to a degree. And it's not hard to have a good outward representation of yourself. So yeah, like the photos of you pushing your make down the street in a trolley pissed or like you battered at your grand zete, like they probably keep them off and stick to the ones that are well lit and you okay, look nice. So my main point here and the whole thing really about the Instagram funnel is just that you want to have some form of high immediate value that other people can interpret and I think the reason that Instagram has become this really interesting social currency is that it is a game that almost everybody's playing. So it's the same as when you watch the Olympics,

you watch you say Bolt, and you watch how Fassie runs. Everybody has run, pretty much everybody has run. And you're like, holy fucking shit, I've done something similar to that, and he is the best in the world at it. The same as when you watch people that really strong, people watch like strongest mans on every Christmas, right? Like, prime time, channel five. Because everyone looks a big stone and goes fucking hell of this. So like, I tried to, I tried to pick up the

shopping you the day and it was really heavy. So those people are competing within a domain that other people can interpret. The conversation in the office, Johnny, how much do you lift? 300. 300. Whoa. That's like 300 bags of sugar. Why are you like, what's the point? I always get at Christmas, I always get like,

how much can you do on that? How much can you do on that? But what's not, yeah. I'm not strong man. I don't weigh 200 kilos. I don't use a lot of anabolic. I'm not on TV. I don't weigh 200 kilos. I don't use a lot of antibiotics. I'm not on TV, not that much in comparison. I'm like, oh, go on, how much?

You can give it to any number. You can say, 10,000. Oh, yeah, understood. That's like three of me. So because I have an Instagram, and I have 400 followers, and I see someone's Instagram that has 5,000 followers and lots of really polished photos

and say, wow, this person, good shopwinder. Therefore is popular. Well, you've got to say it's so, it's so, so cool. Yeah, right. And this comes back to kind of the first thing that I said, which I think is really virtuous actually, that a lot of people would make fantastic potential partners. The only problem is that you're not giving them the chance. It's the marketing. Yeah. They're literally just marketing themselves

poorly, or maybe you're marketing yourself poorly. So it's like, right, well, if you present yourself online in the best possible way, and if everyone else does as well, then you're giving yourself the best chance of being accepted by whoever, whichever potential partners it is that you want to get. I suppose all Tinder's doing by allowing photos and content on there is a, is a, almost like a template. Like, look, fill this in, fill, fill the best stuff in. And this is a mini version of Instagram, isn't it? And everyone has that. But that's all in the context of, I've created this to try and get a date or get laid. Well, because the least sexy thing about any exchange between two single people is one of them,

obviously knowing that the other ones after them, and Tinder precludes that immediately. Yeah. Does that make sense? It's like it just chops off at the knees any coinus about the exchange. So that I have the fuck, like we both know why we're on here. Which is good for the very utilitarian, like, I haven't got time for any nonsense, but he, where they're just like, right, okay, I get that power off. And even with that in the exchange, it's back with some forwards that you have on Tinder, they tend to be so like vapid. That's why everyone's just like you see

the whole arm just on here as a joke like oh, I'm not really like people trying to qualify that they're not really that serious about it to try and communicate that. In short, Tinder should only be used for lead gen, get them on Instagram, then use that for lead conversion. Okay, there we go. When it comes to, like really, to be honest, that is about as far as the Instagram funnel goes. Like there's no secret script to converting from there in a better way.

There is a, I think there is an upsell available in the show, no, there is not yet. But really, you just need to develop some degree of charm online. Like that. So here is some maybe quite cold questions. So how many people leads does it take to get someone to have a meeting off Instagram? I realize your numbers may be better than the average person, but is it, oh we took, because obviously Tinder, like if I'm on there, I have an expectation that at some point

someone's going to want to meet me off Tinder, right? So I'm, let's say, I don't know, low, so I'm in 110, I'm like, I'm going to expect one in 2130. On Instagram, it would be lower leads, lower volume leads high volume conversions But you need to screen more carefully because not everyone's single Right, what are the factors that influence conversion? So you mentioned total number of followers Photos with good rated feed and then just feed literally just compatibility So I think really it's we can try and create this semi-autistic framework for the autistic fully automated. We can try and create this kind of framework

for it, but I feel the YouTube comments already, like on the last one, you're comparing women to the second hand car market. No, we're not comparing women to the second hand car market. Comparing women to and stupid. Absolutely valid. But yeah, I don't think that there is really much that can be done. So I suppose what I'm getting out of the question is, if you stand in a supermarket and try and sell people something versus if you go around and knock

up people's doors and try and sell people something, it's a different experience. Because one of them, I'm there to buy things and the other one is like I'm in my home, piss off. Like if I'm just on my Instagram and someone messages me, because Tinder is very much like the Facebook feed where once upon a time it was just people posting like, photos and sobs, now to get attention it's like attention, you know, I'm faking shit because we're trying to get attention. So people open with stupid shit on Tinder and you know, have all these attention grabbing headlines. That's what they used to want. You obviously can't do that on Instagram or if you try to, you

gonna be like, I'm going to ring the police because people aren't expecting that on Instagram. They're expecting like, hey, how are you? The other thing is all to consider is that, no, I don't think anyone really can have too many friends. And just by messaging someone, you might actually end up making a good connection. There is a number, isn't there? There is a, there is a, Don't bars, don't bars,

but I'm going to buy them for you. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. But 250, that's like how many friendships people can actually make. It's supposed to be how many connections interplayed connections between different social actors within your consciousness,

you can hold on to it one time. And that's supposed to be the upper limit of what our tribe size would have been when we were nomadic people, right, moving around. But having spoken William Von Hippell, who is like King Big Dick on this, makes me think of Rusty Ripple. Thanks for the first three. He didn't have any. No, you know. He said that realistic up a bound was 50, because if you've got a tribe of 250, people at the bottom have no chance of rising to the tops that just splinter off and make their own. It's too big. So you get multiple 50 size.

Around about that, it would appear that between kind of 20 and 50 was more realistic. But yeah, I mean, also, any promoters that listen and you know that that's bollocks. Like I'm able to, in my heyday, I was able to have like a thousand people and that's when you're pushing it and you're like, you have to start creating systems to maintain it. But so apparently as well off the back of the 250 thing, seeing a friend or touching base with someone every 14 days apparently is the the minimum interval that you need to maintain. Imagine if Johnny went really hard on his digital detox that's 30 days we're no longer friends. If you do if you do

Cal Newport's digital detox we're no like I have no friends but no friends I know. But it's not it's not one strike in're out there. I feel like if you know it is Yeah, I've to have a word is raspberry ripple I'm gonna go I'm gonna go back to just more now we've moved on from the Instagram funnel type of fuck I'm just having more of that no It's a good bottom. You just like this because it's like internet marketing. No, I like it because it's what everybody wants to know. Well, so anybody who's seen... I don't know how much I can say.

Previous episodes. No. Oh. So, you're a popular guy with women, yeah? You suffer live, you have observed. I'm sorry. I'm not the creditor. Not the creditor.

Yeah. So, and I imagine other people will have observed that. So I'm watching you fight against the bines of an invisible corridor amazing I don't know what I'm afraid of because I see the same wrong thing. I'm just gonna just get maxed So yeah, so that's what people want to know like if I'm a I'm a single guy or a single girl and I I'm sure Single 21-year-old horn horn-laden mind that just wants... Oh, woman. Oh, woman. Oh, God. Everybody gets ony. And I'm struggling with Tinder. I'm having crack results.

And this is relationships 104, how to be so addition. How do you single? How do you single? How do you single? How do you single? How do you single? Yeah. How do you single? How do you single? Yeah. How do you single? Yeah. How do you single? Yeah. How do you single? Yeah. How do you single? Yeah. How do you single? Yeah. How do you single? single looks that simply exist online. Like I think that again, the synopsis of this first section is in my opinion that you need to try and find a domain of competence or a domain in which you

represent or you present as much value as is possible as quickly as is possible. And that means like if you like CrossFit Girls, let's say, let's say that you like really fit girls. If you get all men from now on, don't apply to in seriousness. Do you think this domain of competence and the social proofing strategy applies as much in both ways? Like, because I remember you asked Raspi Ripple this, which was, is social status as much of a coveted feature in male to female attraction, as it is for female to male. So I think as we've said in the previous episodes, the typical

direction of the protagonist dialogue goes male to female. Males tend to be the actors and females are like the maidens, right? That's typical. So I think girls essentially just get better conversions on everything. They're just better at lead gen, they're better at conversions. Like because if they... That initial stage. Yeah. Now moving forward in relationships is, they actually, that probably gets reversed.

So you can have a wider initial market but then actually converting them into a proper boyfriend, a proper boyfriend as a girl is probably going to be a little bit more difficult. Rationally speaking, statistically speaking, you would assume that's because, just getting all the preferences in there, you would assume that that's because women receive more propositions than men. Yes. So like if a man receives five propositions a year and he knows he's going to receive five propositions a year, he's probably going to say yes quite a lot with them, which would suggest that women have that's why because the bottleneck is wide at one point and narrow at the other and flip through. Whereas if women receive 50

a year, they can afford to be more selective without going through periods. I also think that that is genetically just the way that we tend to be wide as well, that men will go wide and shallow and women will go narrow and deep. But yeah, so I think, let's say, to book in that, you need to try and find some domain within which you present value and also yourself in the best possible light. Like I say, if you like girls do crossfit, like get really good at crossfit and spend some time in a crossfit gym. Like if you get really good at crossfit and you rise to the top of the people within your gym, you are presenting yourself in with a lot of value in a domain which they are competing in. The reason that I think, or the reason that I'm proposing that Instagram is a fruitful avenue for a lot of people to do is it's a domain that almost everyone competes.

Agreed. Everyone understands what? A thousand followers and ten thousand followers and a hundred thousand followers, and this particular kind of image and et cetera, et cetera, this many lives in the photo. Again, these aren't like judgments on your genuine value, but the point is they're a metric which allow a quick judgment. Exactly. And all you're doing is getting yourself cross in the best possible way. Also, if you take the average 20-something, you left uni, now works a job, maybe goes to the gym or cross foot or something, goes out the weekend, struggles to meet someone they like in a club.

There's no one they like at work. Where are you going to find that person? Because it's a big question. And this is a big trap that people have stuck with. Well, yeah, the same routines. You've maybe had a lot of changes in people. You need that failed or it's no longer there. You're looking, you're moving at your like 20s, looking for someone that's settled down with, but like, who is that person? So it's how do you find that? That's why Tinder or that's why these services become an option. Because how do you just need to be in contact with what people don't use? It's difficult. It's difficult, man. So yeah, that's that's that section, I suppose.

I think what yeah, exactly, fuck for that. What I wanted to kind of move on to was just a strategy is really for being careful about who you actually choose to date. So red flags, yeah, big, big fat red flags, anyone who is, I mean, we're just walking through a minefield. It's delicate, right? But whatever, like fuck it. People get cross with us all the time. Yeah, it's fun.

My DMs are open, as always. Fun. You just get dropped in the funnel. If you message about it, all that's going to happen is dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig. Before you know, you want to take it with Chris, and you don't even know why. So I think for safety, the first thing to do is to identify red flags in our own gender. And then, and with it also, what we haven't done is gay 101, or gay, or waiting, or waiting on a, I've got a couple of potential good eloquence.

That I'm excited for that because I just want to find out to learn more about it. I want to know how you know if you're a bummer or a bummy. Yeah. That's a question. Everybody wants that. Is that a conversation? Like is that it? Do they have a frank conversation about it?

I think that there must be some form of written agreement. Like a waiver. I don't know. What do you get assigned? I know. So you told us that it was this bottom or top thing, right? Was it you that told us this? That's a grinder. Oh, they list themselves as one. Oh, that would be a cover. I don't know if the developers have put like a field in the in the profile of that, but yeah, it would make it. But you can't get you can do both. Why can't you do both, I don't know.

I'll find that bizarre. I mean, if you do get that, and you have two bottoms, nothing happens. It's like two negative polarities on a magnet. Yeah, it's just pushed apart. Yeah. You're trying to push the, yeah. It's not going to work.

So I think some things that I can think of that you should be careful of if you're a girl looking to date a guy. Especially, so let's presume that this is you actually starting to like, like, prospecting with the potential that this might turn into something more as opposed to simply being purely transactional. Like, if it's simply being transactional, make sure that you're safe, obviously. Like,, maybe a bit of some form of background checking. If you're going around to the house, tell your friends where you're going.

Like, if you're going for the first time, Taser. It Taser, yeah, Pepspray. So sign up with Experian Pro. You can run credit checks on other people. Wow. I'll see you in a little bit. Oh, I'm sorry. You're not real tested.

I'm not. No, I think that's illegal actually. So you're gonna credit, so I'm gonna quit. So, just a bad joke, just to clarify. With regards to that, just choose someone you've retracted to, basically. But yeah, if you're looking for a little bit more as a girl, I think a really good question to ask a guy is when was your last relationship? And if they... Do you want it to be recent or not? You just want it to exist. It's just data, isn't it? Okay. Like, if it was, I would say, if it was within the last month

or more than the last, more than five years ago. So if it was when they're nine, is it a held hands with my girlfriend? Yeah. Nine years old. And if it was Jack. And if it was nine hours ago. Awesome. Well, it's a Thursday. Does it go a little bit like nine in the night? Yeah. older than nine years old.

But further away than nine hours ago. There we go. There we go. The rule of nine. There's a sweet spot. It's a rule of nine. So I think that's, what about you guys? Do you think there's any other things to look at?

I have red flags with men. So the main thing is, and this goes for both, how do they talk about their ex? And yes, there is a chance that their ex was this massive psycho, but even then, there's a level of tact and class that if someone just downplays it or doesn't tend to go on about it, or if they have any generalizations about women as a whole, if you have someone who it just seems bitter about all women, like that's another. Like you read a lot of red pill stuff. Oh yeah, particularly. Red pill. If you've got any roller to Matty books, I don't know who that is. I don't know what any of that is. What's

a red pill? So red pill. Who's roller man? There's two new kind of online movements for people. So it's at three. So you've heard of in-sales. That was in the news recently. Like voluntary celibates. People who are celibate, but not through their own choice. So they've basically their virgins, and they want to not be virgins,

but nobody will have sex with them. And so they then funnel that into this bitterness for all women. Fuck. And then they're the kind of people that you see the occasional like ambassador of the in cells that does like one of the school shootings and you know That kind of thing. So it's quite a dark hole. Red pill is a similar. I'm probably like if anyone's matrix related No, so the red pill red pill as far as I'm aware is a

equivalent male opposition to the feminist movement which puts kind of male values first. And it's exactly that. It's taking the red pill instead of taking the blue pill so that you see through the facade of what the game's specifically like games like hypogemia, like female hypogemia, dating up and across, like things like that. And these guys tend to use pick-up artistry strategy and they have quite militant ideas about how you should deal with women and stuff like that. Like Roller-Tamassi's book, The Rational Mail, one of the rules that he has in that is never let the woman be in charge of the childbirth. So it's basically like if you're not using a condom,

you're a fucking idiot. If you're another one of his iron rules, so he's got to, I think, it's 10 iron rules. One of the iron rules is never live with a woman unless you plan to marry within the next six months. A whole bunch of other ones. So it's quite a very, very hard-lined male first perspective, which,

its core is just protecting men from being hurt by women, but actually ends up manifesting itself as men just being really fucking bitter. Like crazy, crazy bitter. I mean, if you just, if you want to go and have a read of this, like, a illimitable man is a pretty good example of this. And in that, there's this dark tri is a pretty good example of this. And in that there's this dark triad of, if you read this, is he the one who wrote the article about Monk mode? Yeah,

which is fucking great. So it's really, basically, it's, it was this blog post that I think you will do on Shambi. And it's about like, how do you, how to focus in your life? And it was like, do Monk mode for a few months. For a few months. Isolation intensity. Social media, yeah. And there's all that, like, basically productivity tips. And how to like really double-double-double.

And it's like, oh, great. I wonder what else this guy's, oh, girl. Oh, this fuck, yeah. You just open up this Pandora's box of like, you need to develop psychopathy, like, narcissism, narcissism. And this is something else the dark triad of like these things. So anyway, to move away from that, like you would say.

I was, so it's the three movements. Yeah, so we have Red Pill, we have Intisals, and there's another one called MGTOW, men going their own way. And I think it's a level of knowledge that you two have about this shit. It's been a lot of time in the internet. Yeah, it's Twitter.

There's a few of these on Twitter that, like, yeah, it's been a lot of time in the internet, man. And it's, I think, so to summarize these movements, it's kind of a very, man-for-extreme masculine reactionary, quite, quite woman- women hating approach. So because I think there's obviously

there's only wouldn't find yourself on a date with something like this anyway. No, you might do it. I don't know how common it is. It's definitely well with an in-sell, not because as soon as that happens. They've left the house. Yeah, they're out there out there. Right.

So I just think your point there was be careful about the sort of blogs that they read and the books that they talk about and if they have this kind of overarching women hating rhetoric that they put across that's pretty. I suppose the problem is it's not it may be subtle or it may be it may be overt but that's you know and it may be also directed towards a woman in their life if If they talk about their mother in a bad way or their ex, then... I like the fact that you said that there's a degree of class with which you should be speaking about your exes. Especially early on as well. Like if it's because we're talking before you're in even anything that's seen someone.

Like within the first few dates, are you speaking to them online or having a phone call or a FaceTime with them or whatever? It might be. If one of the openers is that fucking bitch, like if that's that if that fucking bitch ever comes up, then I think just exit immediately. Yeah, block. Get out. Yeah, exactly. Which is also another good thing about Instagram. Just block. So yeah, there's no upside to talking ill of someone that you're no longer with, but also even if they were

terrible, even if they were truly objectively terrible, and you talk about them neutrally, civilly, and respectfully, that can only reflect well on you. So, whatever you're signaling to the other person, they're never gonna go really fancy them because of how badly you talk to his ex. And if there's a way of in your signaling to the other person. They're never going to go really fancy them because of how badly you talk to his ex. And if you're a guy who does have residual feelings about their ex, then use this as a good canary in the coal mine and just don't mention it. Like, if you can't, like, the old adage, you can't say anything nice to something. Yeah. Because there might be some people, it's the whole, like, does protest too much, but also there might be some people that we're trying to do it

to almost like try and prove that, oh, no, I'm over her because I hate her, but even then, hate is quite a strong emotion and so you're sort of thinking about the absolute ultimate way in George McGill, a tweet something about this a few months ago. And it was like the ultimate way to prove that you're over somebody

is it indifference? It's exactly what you want. You want to see them walk by in the street and feel nothing, no bitterness and no happiness, like just... It's a test to see if you're your rebound as well, isn't it? Like if someone is speaking quite emotively and aggressively about their previous relationship, chances are, it's not fully out there about the tube, yet. Because if you are the rebound, you're not, they're not seeing you for you. They're just just getting entangled

in a previous relationship. I mean, we both, all of us know people who appear to just pinball around from different relationships. Like there's a lot of people. Yeah. Well, that's what it is. It's a great image, isn't it? There's just, there are some people who exist that can't bear to be on their own. And I'm aware that I'm jumping in ahead of you here, but the, this is for guys and girls, there are people for whom they can only feel comfortable

in relationship. I remember, so this is a story that I can tell. It's outside of the NDA of relationships, which is a decade. So it's more than 10 years old. So, a girl who had been with... Is that a 10-year rule? I've made it a single Christmas. I've made it up. It isn't my word. Being with a girl, just seeing it on and off,

nothing too serious, but anyway, back and forth, back and forth. And I decided that we were going to end it and she got a little bit emotional about it and then got even more emotional and started kind of being a little bit hysterical and said, something to the effect of, I really don't want to break up because I don't want to have to go back to going out all the time.

And I was like, hang on, what I don't understand what you mean. He says, well, because I'm not with you anymore, I'm going to have to go out all the time. And I was like, why? What because I'm not with anyone. And I was like, oh my god, I'm seeing this frantic desire to not be on their not be on your own play out in front of me. That's a huge overt way for it to happen. And I'm like wow, like

that's a very dangerous situation to be in. If so an alternative to women's your last relationship, I think also a good question to ask would be when was the last time you were single? And if the last time that they were single was for two weeks, two months ago. And the last time before that was yeah, if you can't bear to be on your own. Daniel Soss said this in the episode link will be in your show in the description below. And Dean will make it appear. That's a good podcast. Fucking unbelievable man, just trust 20,000 views. And then I'll make it appear. That's a good podcast.

Fucking unbelievable man, just trust 20,000 views. Daniel said, like, if you can't learn to love yourself, how can you expect someone else to love you? And how can you expect to be able to give yourself across to them the best that you can? Because you don't know who you are. So there you go, like spend some time on your own. And if that person hasn't, then they either will have a poorer

understanding of their self or there's someone who is pinball ball. Well, I know, there's just a lack of independent thinking and wave operating as well. If someone is relying on you for everything on a day to day basis, you know, like, you've made plans on Friday, but I haven't got plans, so I don't need to do anything. That's sort of a situation. I can't think of anything worse, to be honest. Not that being in that situation, but I think that can often result from people who have

never had to make plans in their own on a Friday, because it's always just been staying and watch lost or whatever. It's a dangerous, that's another dangerous one, man. That's not the same Really dangerous finish it awfully was all the dream Was it was a dream was it that was a thing that was finishing it was all just like this special heaven place that they've made to be with each other That's such an eight-year-old finishing that he finishing a story and he woke up and it was Because the thing was with lost like you got towards halfway through the final season and you were like, fucking hell dies. Like this, this 8 hours of programming left.

And you haven't explained the polar bear, you haven't explained why the plane came down, you haven't explained why everyone that's dead keep coming back, you haven't explained it, and it sure enough it got to the end. And you knew, like there's just got to be a big answer, there't a lot of individual answers here and the big answer was like it was all a little dream. So I gave up after the first season. Well you've missed nothing they got there's the answer. So that's a different a different situation to someone who looks to be in relationships is someone who doesn't want you to be a part of their life but wants you to be their life.

And that is a very dangerous partner to get with as well. Yeah. That's actually how on earth do you find someone who isn't a complete psychopath? All that we're doing here is just, can't be with him and can't be with her and they don't work and this one's awful. So we need white flags as well. Is that the opposite of a red flag? I think white flags often seen as surrender green flag. Green flag. Green flag. Green like. Good color. Yeah. So I have some warning points first. Okay. So this is more just like a personal frustration is

guys who play the, I don't know, no, we're just friends, root, and then, so like, let's say you're trying to get with someone, go out with someone, whatever, and that girl has a mate, who's a guy who is like, just there for advice, and maybe quite critical of you for whatever reason, who then tries to sweep in at the last minute. I think they are some of the most dangerous ones. Because it's straight away. It's very culture-like. They're not at front with their intention. It's difficult though. I would watch out for personally. I've seen the situations that unfold, unfold, that haven't worked out very well.

So that should face on person, a past experience, I would say that. You know, if someone wants to be with you in that way, they should just say, I think it's difficult to, like, it's the age old question of can guys and girls just be friends? And you're like, yeah, they can.

But if the girl's in a relationship and the guy's not the person she's in a relationship with, difficult as an enemy, you're just what have you opened up there? Yeah, they can, but if the girl's in a relationship and the guy's not the person she's in a relationship with Difficult as an enemy. You're just what have you opened up there? Someone's written a list of red flags for women, but I think they're all quite sexist actually Let's just think we better skip them. No people more people so that was one second one was Similar to what you said. I've just asked them how I asked them about their mother Because I think the way that it's just, you know, a woman in the person's life, like if they're very caring and speak very fondly of their mother, chances are good to win.

Generally, yeah, chances are that's a really, really good test. Yeah, well, yeah. Oh, so thought of two green flags then. No, I started off, I started off a red flag. We still need to do red flags for men. For women. These are two ways, which in our to the title.

Yeah. Yeah. I would ask them about one or two polarizing topics, ideally in the media at the moment and just see what they say. And you give an example. So something like, like the Liam Eastern thing will be a an example. So something like, like the leave, and something would be a good example. So something that is, like, you know,

people just have like a clever sound bite to say. So like, they'll have a Brexit sound like that they say, or a Theresa May sound bite, but ask them something that like, pushes a moral button, just see what they do. Because I think that's when someone's caught off guard. How do you analyze that? Just do you like it or do you not?

So it's like, who's Theresa May in which case, right? I believe, yeah. What's Brexit? But like, you know, but what do you see that? I just see that Lee and me something. What do you think about that? And obviously, that's something where someone will just

go to the other opinion. It's just about can they formulate a, yeah, something reasonable. I think, and even if they don't know Can they with grace play off the fact that they don't know? Like I'm not really into politics like but I can tell you a lot about Tract or you don't want to say I don't know. I've not heard about that. What's that? Yeah, for example Yeah, because a very masculine thing is like oh yeah, yeah, so will that Do tell me about yeah, I have the Brexit stuff. Yeah, yeah, so all that. Do I tell me about it? Yeah, I had a Brexit stuff. Yeah, I was reading a bunch of it.

But I made a lot of strings and I'm like, oh, I wrote the book on Brexit, man. I had a Brexit man. Brexit, we went out for drinks like three nights ago. It was probably, his brother used to play football. All right. Yeah, okay. So what?

Or show them that on career clip and see if they react on it. Which is, it's more than a week. It's positive. Grab, pull. We were talking about that last week. The like embarrassing things you said when you were younger. They're like, oh no, thanks. I've got 12 answers at home.

12 answers, no you haven't. And we weren't talking about that. No, no. Okay, were you talking to yourself? Was the life fails recipe anyway? So I want to do, what do what should guys look out for, red flags in women? Now we're straying it, it's slightly more dangerous territory,

but it's territory that I am incredibly familiar with. So watch me tiptoe with finesse through the mind field. I think I know what skills you and I are probably say is ten ten more things. So just as a disclaimer here, as a disclaimer, like you two are fairly successfully like continuously monogamous people, right? Yeah. Like you're in relationship. I've seen me as continuously monogamous, but in the last 15 years I've been in a relationship for five of them right, but in the last seven years

last seven years And yeah, relationship In relationship for six of seven, but on the five of 15 It is just he's just picked the time frame. No, sorry, how much? Seven of 15... No, don't worry, it's going to happen. You're saying, to currently, you're in a successful relationship. You're a seamal, but you both see Bill Minogue in essence.

It's two on degree or another. Now me, so background, four girlfriends took up from 18 to 25 and the longest period of a single was four months. Right. And then another three-year relationship after that. Sorry. But the vast majority of my life up to now has been with me being in a relationship. Just, you know.

For me, four and a half. For the last time in the whole team. God, I'll sit. For me, I've never, this is going to sound arrogant, but I've never like ended a relationship and then sought the next one. Things just tend to fall into this. You are so obsessed with me. You see really when I got monogamous, those, I can see.

Anyway, so what do you think? Red flags. Yeah. I love droplets in it. Okay. So I think the most important thing is emotional stability without question. How do you judge that? So very difficult, the judge. So the reason I say that is inevitably you're going to end up in an argument or a discussion or disagreement over something. And if that can be managed as a, in a sensible adult conversation, chances are in the last an hour, then go away. And if that becomes like, well, like fuck you and take me to your car

and, or, you know, like this is over and I'm leaving, suddenly it spirals into something massive. So emotional stability is a big one, in terms of how you assess that part of the game. Especially early on as well, right? Partially by feel as opposed to the breasts, yeah, the field. Oh, I see. Is there an outward kind of, is it if they're firmer and higher? Oh, see. No.

So I mean, what was that thing that you said in one of the podcasts you said for you? Like, it's really easy to convince anyone for 20 minutes that you're not a psychopath. Yeah. So, like, early on in a relationship, anyone can convince anyone that they're not an emotional wreck, which is why it's tough. I think job interviews are a terrible way to assess somebody because of exactly that reason. If anything, if you are a psychopath, you're the best at making plays of games. You've got no empathy. I would disagree with the emotional

stability thing, though. So it's definitely my preference, and I think it's your preference. David Dada talks a lot about sexual polarity and energy. And saying that if you are a true she-vite third stage man, you should be like fully navigating the fields of having a woman who's like really emotionally labial and being able to ride those waves and fully like enjoy in saying that the more, the more of that the race, like the more it tests you as a, as a masculine spirit and it helps you to grow and to like allow you relationship to flourish through that.

It's just quite, quite trying. Yeah, I think I'm just not, I'm not on board with David with regards to that. I don't think anyone is on either. It sounds like an unnecessary situation to be in. Johnny, Johnny, drop me to tell you about the best analogy that I came up with in the song of the other day with you, so so the emotional instability thing that you've just said there is exactly the same is so good

it You can imagine that so this is like the analogy for having like you have like a normal discussion or you come to a conclusion for something. But there's all this turmoil and argument in the meantime that it was just totally unnecessary just to come to a decision that... So what input is what we're doing tonight, output is that's made to 830. But in between that, there is this crazy back and forth and emotional turmoil and fighting and all the rest of it is exactly the same as you put your trade on and the market dropping by 50% for it to bounce all over the place and finish 1% up in the green. And you're like,

what the fuck was that? Yeah, what was this bit here? And you've got to manage how you feel about all of the emotion all of the bullshit don't trigger your stop loss because if you do if you trigger your stop loss the relationships of It's exactly I will challenge anyone out there to tell me that's exactly the same it all just comes back to Chris Kathy Crit trade Exactly, it all just comes back to Chris Caffey. Great trade. Yeah, fun amount of money. Fun amount of money. When you trade. I saw him in Caffey near him.

I know, you wouldn't go to running jogging. Oh really? So, um, I love it. Right, we're talking about people that listen to this, don't know what you were on about now. So, okay, so emotional stability just allows for efficient outcomes. I agree. But it's a second thing as well, isn't that? That was the first one. No. You said there's two things. Emotional stability and maybe that was the only way. Anyway, what about you? So, for, I don't have any red flags for

women, I can't think of anything bad that a woman could be. Give me some time to, because I've just seen that list and I'm trying to not say anything on that list. So, for me, again, the main ones for men also are kind of for women. Do they have a life outside of their partner? Do they have their own interests that on friend group? Are they able to be independent? Do they demand your time over activities that they know you really value? Like if you're saying, oh no, I can't see tonight. I've got to play video games. Then that's probably not tremendously justifiable. If it's no, I can't see tonight.

I've got training for this upcoming weightlifting competition or I've got football with my friends that I only do once a week or I've got to see my parents. I've got to do something else which they know is of genuine value to you. And that is the sort of thing, especially because we're talking now about the, as my mom and dad would call it, the courting stage in which the leveraging of all trades

is at zero. Like, there's no magnification, there shouldn't be any overreaction really to anything because there's no justification on either side yet. Like, you would just have to have more sensitivity to the smaller changes. Because people are on their best behavior. And so you've got to then be more tuned into that going on. Absolutely. Definitely agree. Like, if they don't have your best interests at heart, and if you don't have theirs at heart,

then that's immediately a sense that, even on a minor level, you think, you might think, well, that's within my tolerance final leave it. But actually, it could mean that when things are magnified, after they take off the mask, that they're much more vindictive and that they're actually willing to trample on you. You need to watch for these things super careful, especially earlier. What about stuff like, people stress a lot about how often to message, how fast to reply after a meeting who

who messages. I think that that is such a waste of mental space. I agree. Such a waste. But if you feel like someone's doing that doesn't get around the fact that it is actually a little bit of a nuanced point and it is to a degree quite important because the frequency of reply and so on. And who actually is the condor? Who's the protagonist?

And it because one of the main things there is a video from School of Life, I'll end up on a game, it's just the king at these little aphorism kind of maximum type things. And he talks about why we hate people or why we're unattracted to people who like us. And it's because it feeds in someone who is aloof, naturally gives themselves some sense of being above and beyond and out of our reach,

which naturally we push towards. Like if someone, if you put your hand on someone's chest and you push, their natural reaction is to lean into you. So that's exactly what happens. As someone pushes hard, you tend to push back harder against them because you kind of don't really like what's going on. Less or a judo master in the country.

Just like that. Just take one though, you're in the floor. So yeah, I think... So that's where I'm not going to reply because if I reply now, then I see... I don't think you keen to. To keen. But the worst thing as well is that I know for a fact that that has been a turn off for me with girls, like girls who are not un-keyed enough,

which isn't the same as being too keen. Not un-keyed enough. They're insufficiently un-keyed. They're insufficiently aloof. So they're keen. No, which is a difference. They're not a loof enough. They're not insufficient.

No, it's a loof. If you want to make it, they're too keen. They're not too keen. They are, Chris. They're too keen. Yes, that's your presumed cause the spectrum. And it's a single, just a single linear. No.

Not keen. Keying. When you're saying they're not far enough over this direction. Yes, all of that However The problem is and the reason I'm saying it's a waste of mental space is that as soon as you even start Second guessing your own like oh, but maybe I shouldn't reply Then you're being keen again because you're trying too hard. It's the same as why the whole pickup artist you think only works for a short period of time

until people realize actually this is just a really desperate guy that's tried to like, micromanage all of his little sessions. I disagree. OK, because if they truly didn't care, they just reply as and when they saw their phone. Which is the pickup artist's history thing is you changing the core of who you are as a person

What I think and again this comes back to the reason for using the Instagram funnel is that You are wanting to get people over the hump of that very first bit To convince them that you're not mental. Yeah, and I think that a lot of people would there would be a lot more good short relationships. If everybody was presenting themselves in the best light, I think a lot of people make a lot of really basic fuck-ups. Like, and that's not to say that I don't. But... So, are you advocating that they are inauthentic with the way that?

No, no. I think that what you need to do is just retrain yourself to be not mental and not too keen. Like if your response rate is within seconds all the time and you quadruple message all the time, you have to concede the fact that for some people that will be a turn up. You also have to concede the fact that if you don't message sufficiently frequently it will be a turn up, but I think that inevitably as, the virtuous mean, there is something in the middle. So it's the same way as you would go to a job interview wearing a shirt and tie, even though you don't necessarily want to, because it's about signaling to that person that you're of a certain order.

And I say, if you wear a tux, it's like, what the fuck are you doing if you go in a joggers? So, have a rule with yourself. Do you, do you agree? I've been saying like, I apply after. After the first day, I'll reply after 36 hours or whatever. And then you just don't think about it because I think people get stressed because they, they think something and then they second guess what they thought and then they second guess that.

The worst thing, the worst thing I think, it's something to be able to do. One thing that actually has occurred due to the advent of WhatsApp and other instant messaging services like that is that back in the day, you can see when people have read. But back in the day texting would have been, there's always this culpable deniability about I didn't read it yet. Yeah. It's like, fuck off mate. Uh-huh.

Like I've seen you come on and off line 20 times. I remember having a conversation, it was might have been with you when they released the blue ticks on WhatsApp. This is going to cause problems. That's a good thing. It's a good thing. It's a real trouble. Because you used to be able to turn red receipt off on iMessage or have them on. Do you remember when you've never had Snapchat? I don't know, you do have Snapchat. Do

you remember when you used to have top friends on Snapchat? Oh, yeah. People would really fall out like that. You imagine how many relationships that's rumbled. Or... Because Snapchat particularly is... Like, like a sort of little streak. Or a sort of little streak. Yeah, but it's in the fire flame.

Excuse me, yeah. So, like, if you see that someone's got that with what else then that doesn't exist anymore. So you say, um, have you come up with any you say? Anyway, so I bet in your examples, when you're saying someone's too keen, not it's insufficiently unkey, unkey, yeah, um, that They probably just do it without thinking. And even if they're not, even if that doesn't truly represent them, they've done something like, sorry, I think one of the, especially now that the response rate is less of a concern or less of a major factor because of the advent of instant messaging. The content is, like if it's what you're doing tonight, when are we going out next? Like you can talk quite

freely backwards and forwards and keep it casual. You can also talk quite, I think sarcasm and a little bit of kind of gibbon is a good tactic to be able to keep everything playful. Not only does it stop you from falling too deep into the, like, falling in early stages of love for someone who you've only met a few times, it also kind of, it's that playful territory that, like, you can't have that once you've been with someone for like six months, you can't jib them about, not really being that bothered about, like,

do you know what I mean? Like, fuck off mate. It also proves, it's boring. It also proves whether they were, whether they can take a joke as well. And so I think for me the red flags are, yeah, can they take a joke? Are they, have they got a sense of humour? Does I think that pre-frames a lot of other things, a lot of character traits. What are those things that I'm caught laugh? Then there's a lot of other things a lot of character traits. Well, those things are quite laugh.

Then there's a lot of other things wrong with them. It's like pre-screening for particular down stream genetic diseases and so on that, isn't it? Dramatic disease. Just A and A, isn't it? Dramatic treeage. It's like the blood pressure measurement for me. So take the blood pressure.

What are your symptoms? What else do you experience? Take a heart rate, take a heart rate. Was it very normal masturbation? Yeah. So then if you want to do a skin swab, a urine dipstick, do a stool sample on them. No, so you made it to stool sample that person's a keeper. Right, yeah. You've seen the bummer. Listen, I've got to screen with you at the moment. I've just got a few tests just from my piece of mind.

If you could just poo in this, and then I'm just gonna drop this cuff around your arm, right? I guess it's just a little pooing. Well, the pooing, yeah, and just to screen. So there's the laughing test. They're also like, do they just laugh at stupid things? Like, if you do a puff puff, do they find it funny? Do they get it?

I'm gonna hold my hand in my ear here. I have never been, and this may speak to the degree of the depth of relationships I've been in, never been in a relationship where I've been comfortable at farting beds as well. I think it's a cruel thing to do to someone if you're in bed as well, to touch up in the, but,

that's what I'm really for. It's really bad. So I just, I don't, I'm not sure that's a, that's a comfort thing. I think I, like in the same way that like, I, I, I wouldn't just slap you self for no reason, because it's, it's in the salt on someone's yeah, like what do you do? Cause you're in a long term relationship now, live, live with someone. How do I navigate flat turns?

Yes. So it's not something that I really think about. I don't think I have that much really. So the trick I've heard is you go into this is a few on a date, you go into the bathroom and you get your bum above your head. So you make sure your head's lower than your bum so that the air is going to rise over the liquid. And so then you percolate the puff-bruffs. And the liquid? Or anything else in your bowel so that you can then get it out quickly. But the problem is a lot of the time people breaths. And then the liquid. Or any other, anything else in your bowel, so that you can then get it out quickly,

but the problem is a lot of the time people say, well by the time I've walked to the bathroom, it's gone, it's basically up there. And you're like, Yeah, like, no, I can't get it down. You need a fart. You go to the toilet. You some reason.

Invert yourself. Why don't you go to the toilet and fart? Yeah, because you have to be in hip flexion as well. To fart. Well, no, just to accelerate. You don't want to be in there for 20 minutes trying to like crack this far. Yeah, you just you want to be No, no, because otherwise they'll be like I will these he's gone for a poo and then then you have to go I wasn't I wasn't pooing I was just far too I was

She on the toilet and just contract the toilet as you can something will come out. No, you do a bit of poop great I don't know because I think if you if you try and poo, if you don't need to, and you're gonna have a shattoffer. You have a shattoffer. Really good. Bless you. Then you're gonna you're gonna end up with a half one and that's a problem. Anyway, the the second green flag or red flag is before we can... Well no, which is it? Don't say green flag or red flag is before we can know which is it. Don't say green flag or red flag, then say something. Imagine if it was waving the plain in did that like one's green and one's red. Yeah, let me listen to the flag and you'll end you're both understand why it can be both. Okay,

so how they treat the waiter. Again, this is a minor variance that will over time widen. And so it'll eventually leverage and you'll be able to see. So do they treat the waiter rudely or nicely? Same for tax driver, bus driver. Yeah, it's a train conductor. So anyone that they don't have anything to gain from and that they're, you know, are they generally civil and respectful to other human beings? Do they say, waiter? Do they say, waiter? Oh, wait. Excuse me, would they call them gas on or like, oh yeah, if they, if they do, if they do a double

play? I think I've ever seen someone do that, but that's yeah, that's a very huge tipping. No, no, no, no, no. Fiscal policy is, it no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no the prison of dilemma. That's when you say, can I go to the toilet and then you run? I mean, you've got a free meal. Out of the window. Yeah. So if they offer to, and interestingly, there's a dating coach for women that did a video on this and he said, it was really famous or something. Yeah, it went viral.

He was like, if you've seen this, where he's like, all right, ladies, he's in the room with like 250 women. Who thinks the man should pay pretty much every other day? Everyone has their hand up and he's like, all right ladies, he's in the room with like 250 women. Who thinks the man should pay pretty much every time the first day? Everyone has the hand up and he's like, okay, and who thinks that you are obliged to sleep with the man whenever and however he wants? No one puts the hand up. He's like, well that doesn't match up because what you're saying is that your time is worth more than his and that he should have to pay for it. And then you've instantly set an unequal basis for the relationship. But one is having sex with someone.

Yeah. And I see what he's getting at. I see what he's getting at. So he was implying that like what you're all doing is like prostitutes do that. They say their time is worth more than it. And so he's like unless you put yourself on equal footing with the man from the beginning, then you are. So for me personally, as a man, I will always, at the first meal, tend to be like, I'll get this done.

I get this. But if that, I know for a fact in my heart parts, if that girl forcibly said, essentially, there's fucking no way that's happening. Take half of my money, I'd be like, it's great. I think someone pushes in that brilliant. It's not just physical policy with things like that. It's like if it was, if it was going to drive, who's going to do whatever, like there's

it just having a girl, I find it like incredibly attractive to have a girl who's very forthcoming about these sort of things. Like it's the same reason I think why female athletes tend to be attractive to a particular kind of man because you like, well, I know that there is a very sort of protagonistic independent, forward-minded, mentored, kind of theme to what this one is. I think that's it. It's not the money. It's about the attitude. Do they see you as an equal?

And do they have the command to be able to? Yeah. Okay. So, so the way they treat the waiter? The waiter, the, the, the, the, the, the one they choose to split or steal. And then the, the puff puff thing was that? You said the puff puff thing.

Yeah. It was a third one. Anyway, there is also the, the old story, the old adage about the guy that was talking to a couple of guys on the pub. And he was like, oh, I'm a behavioral psychologist. I can, I can tell a lot about you from a single thing. In terms of the first guy, he's like, tell me, do you have a goldfish?

And the guy's like, yeah. And he goes, oh, well, okay, so you've got a goldfish. That means you live in a relatively stable house. That means you've probably got a dog as well. So you've got a pet, you've done this, straight to the, all right. And that means you're probably married. And that means a've probably got a dog as well, so you've got a pet, you've demonstrated it. Right, and that means you've probably married, and that means a new young, and so you probably haven't got kids,

you probably got quite an active sex life, and so you don't masturbate. The guy's like, whoa, like he has got so much fun, and it turns to the other guy's like, have you got a goldfish, and he's like, no, you wanker. And so the goldfish is a real green flag. Green flag.

Green flag. But that means they're married. Yeah. So if you catch this, they've got goldfish and they're not married, there's no wedding ring. So what you're saying is look for indications of stability. Yeah, if stability is something you're going for, I suppose. Well, I don't think anybody wants an unstable mind. I really want an unstable mind.

And just that I want to wake up every day and just be absolutely dragged around in life with every possible way. It's just a bad boy versus stable man dichotomy, doesn't, it was like the bad boy versus stable man. Dicot to me, doesn't it? So, how do you fluctuate in market, man? It's guaranteed why it's got it right. He's got both. He's bad boy.

No, it's like every woman wants to. What is it? What's the like the bike every woman wants a man who is able to come home and play with the kids and impressions impression's not going to work. Sing songs about the head show, then doesn't know if he wants to be a bear or if he wants to be a rabbit or whatever. But then also, if he needs to,

he can go and fuck some people up in a parking lot and go Tom Clancy, Rainbow, sticks on them. So I really strongly agree with him. Because he doesn't want that. What's one bad thing about that? What do you want from a in the equivalent way though? What do you want from a woman? That. You want them to be on the go fucking rainbow sex and fuck some people up and fucking up. If you're with a woman on a date and she she runs

out to the parking lot and goes full-time classes. He's up some rages. You'd be like I don't I wouldn't have the same like ooh that's so. I'd be a bit like. How would you feel about this? I'd definitely be a little bit aroused. How would you feel about the woman who was stronger or more physically capable than you? Then I need to, like that, I think that's inexcusable. I need to do more. Some stronger than me.

I have a particular, certainly pound for pound and in particular movies. But like in terms of absolute strength, there is a, there is a problem. They can't pick up more weight. Like, it's just deadlift, isn't it? If you see the Lutheru female bodybuilders episode. They're not that strong.

You see the husbands of the men who like this. Quite small. Yeah, they're always like very hasty. They're very fatiging. I really like them. I think they're like goddesses and you're just like, you're all funny. Yeah, weird, aren't you?

You do foot stuff. You do foot stuff. Yeah, foot stuff. and you're just like, you're all from the argument, yeah, weird, aren't you? You do foot stuff. Yeah, foot stuff. Foot was a feat. Yeah, there's definitely a few things. Foot stuff, yeah. There is lots of P45, I've not P45, E45, I've never been.

P40. That's just a firing, which is loads of employment, documentation around them, around, again, in tax forms and self-assessments. Of those pictures. Specific fetish. Yeah, I'm the one who's in love with it. Climax on an SA3 or two.

Right, so we've got... What else do you know? We have. Well, we've got... We've gone done that. Gone done some relationships. Is there anything else? So, like, I guess, finding people you need to just,

you made a great point that if there is no one within your particular sphere, what was it that you referred to as, within your consciousness, that just area, within your ounce. Within your ounce of sphere of influence. Is that what you mean? No. So the answer to that is the same way that like affiliate marketing works. So what I mean about that is

you want a certain type of person. So you think what, what does this person read, listen to, watch, spend time doing attend, etc. And then just go places where that person might be. There you go. So yeah, that was my point. If you don't have someone within your life at the moment who matches what it is that you want from a partner, you need to expand into that.

And online is a really easy way to do that. Yeah, well, online is just, really, online is kind of like an index tracker, isn't it? It's like placing the app through all the, going along S&P. Yeah, you haven't got to go and buy the shares and get the certificate and sign it. Yeah, just a bit. I know. Any one that says like I don't want to do online dating is like you can say that and

you can think that, but you'll lose. But you are doing online dating. If you're online, you're doing online data. But someone who's like, you know, I wanna go to coffee shop and ask people, like, you're just gonna be outplayed by the guy with an Instagram funnel who's doing this at scale.

All the girl. All the girl with an Instagram funnel. We've emancipated. Is it when you do it to, like when you say? Immasculate. No, emancipated. It emancipated, like the male only Instagram funnel now has been, the gift has been given to women of this world. If I get put into a woman's Instagram funnel, it might be the most ironic experience in my life, I'm not really too sure.

So you might be in many. I might be, they're really bad though, their conversion rates terrible. I see, so they need to split test more. Yeah, I would be. They're really bad, though. They're conversion rates terrible. I see. So they need to split test more. Yeah. I would love for someone listening to this to think, I'm going to put Chris in my funnel. Successfully. They got to get past the.

If you've ever been funneled. I don't think so. My open rate is my, my, because you get lots of message requests, right? Because that's the problem with the Instagram funnel. His message requests are maxed out all the time. So it's the, they have to actually. His message request are maxed out all the time. So it's the each they have to actually get from message requests into inbox to even have a chance of.

But so that I suppose someone with a large Instagram following harder, isn't it? Is there going to have more message requests? And you're going to go over the noise you get basically the spam folder. And you have to be taken out of it. Essentially, another point that this is really important, I can't believe I didn't say it at the start. If you're going to actually message someone because you'd think that they're an interesting person and this goes if you're messaging for guys or girls, use their name. If you just say hire and put an emoji, it's important.

I always think instant Spam, but if there's generic message. Yeah, I would say, oh my God, comment, have you seen this question, man? Oh yeah. Or if it's about what? Or what? Seem what? Or you're more likely to open it on you. But if there's no other messages, I'll just think, I'll wait until it's out the next

message. You saw that in your request, you wouldn't think, wait until the next message, I'd be like, they're going to send another message here. I can't believe what this is. Laughing emoji. But there's nothing in there. You bet. The whole point Chris is to create intrigue.

It's not an open loop. You've not been single for ages, have you? I'm trying to get your attention. I'm trying not to work. I'm like, how do I, I'm giving everyone tips of how do I stand out in criticism? Well, I'd see all of you powerlifting videos and think, I don't want to be with my news strongly.

I'm not. Chris, I am not going to message you from the propane Instagram with, oh my gosh, how have you seen this? I mean, get upset when you and I don't go on a date. That's not what this is. I'm thinking, I'm someone listening to this. It's talking in generic terms. I want to put Chris in my funnel now.

Yeah, what can I say to stand out in Chris's maxed out thing? So what are people saying? You need to stack risk. Can you put me on VIP? I won't guess this. Honestly, the best way to get an O. Oh my gosh, look at that. Have you seen this? I've told I've said this a number of times the best way to get an open from me on Instagram is to compliment the podcast. Okay. If you compliment or share the podcast. So that's actually the best compliment would be to say, oh my god have you seen this? No.

Because they've got to this point in this episode. Oh yeah, true now it would be because they still need to compliment it. But that is a compliment. That's the best compliment. It's too underhanded. It's too, okay. I bet you will. I might do.

Thank you very much. Do not forget. Thank you. Thank you more. Do not forget. Thank you as well. Thank you as well. Do not forget to subscribe down below. Please share this episode. We want to land in the Top 50 Worldwide again and in two weeks time, worry about what it

was that we said. Exactly. Okay. Bye then. Okay, bye. I can't believe that.