Modern Wisdom - #1030 - Brett Cooper - Inside the Conservative Civil War
Episode Date: December 8, 2025Brett Cooper is a political commentator, an actor and a YouTuber. What’s happening to the political Right? With promises kept and broken, the Left regaining momentum, internal fractures deepening, ...and young voters growing more disengaged than ever. What does this mean for the real state of politics, and how serious is the dysfunction underneath it all? Expect to learn Brett’s thoughts on the Conservative civil war that seems to be happening and if there should there be unity on The Right, what conservatives and Republicans are missing in how can they better compete for Gen Z, what conservatives feel about trump’s performance so far, why The Left is obsessed with assassination culture, the biggest lie young women are being sold right now, why GenZ is having a hard time handling adulthood and much more… Sponsors: See discounts for all the products I use and recommend: https://chriswillx.com/deals Get the best bloodwork analysis in America at https://functionhealth.com/modernwisdom Get 35% off your first subscription on the best supplements from Momentous at https://livemomentous.com/modernwisdom Get a free bottle of D3K2, a Welcome Kit, Travel Packs, plus bonus gifts (US only) when you first subscribe at https://ag1.info/modernwisdom Get a Free Sample Pack of LMNT’s most popular flavours with your first purchase at https://drinklmnt.com/modernwisdom Extra Stuff: Get my free reading list of 100 books to read before you die: https://chriswillx.com/books Try my productivity energy drink Neutonic: https://neutonic.com/modernwisdom Episodes You Might Enjoy: #577 - David Goggins - This Is How To Master Your Life: https://tinyurl.com/43hv6y59 #712 - Dr Jordan Peterson - How To Destroy Your Negative Beliefs: https://tinyurl.com/2rtz7avf #700 - Dr Andrew Huberman - The Secret Tools To Hack Your Brain: https://tinyurl.com/3ccn5vkp - Get In Touch: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chriswillx Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/chriswillx YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/modernwisdompodcast Email: https://chriswillx.com/contact - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
What are your thoughts on the conservative civil war that seems to be happening?
It's already all strong.
Oh, gosh.
You know, I think that it is, obviously there are a lot of issues that people are debating.
I think that have caused this schism that we're seeing.
But I think that there are a lot of people that are arguing and finding a good faith.
I think that there are a lot of people online who think that these are just like bad actors on both sides.
We're going after each other.
I look at it as there are these groups of people, they're extremely passionate.
They have an idea of, you know, the directs our country in this, you know, movement and party should go.
And they're worried about, you know, one side taking too much power of the radicals, taking control of, you know, of us getting too involved in foreign affairs, whatever it might be.
And so I look at it as something that is not that the Civil War is a positive, but that there are good people fighting it.
So I think that makes it a little more nuance.
That's a very diplomatic way to start.
Yeah, well done.
Disclaim it done.
Yep.
But I also think that I think my big issue with it is when it comes down to the issue of free speech and hypocrisy.
I'm right.
That's what I've been talking about a lot is that we've spent so many years railing against the purity tests.
And we're not going to dig up people's social media and cancel them.
We're going to take things out of contact.
You don't do that.
We're better to that.
Like we celebrate when somebody, you know, refuses to.
to bend a knee to the mob, and then the same thing is happening on the right, and they're demanding
that somebody be, you know, is canceled into platformed because that person platform somebody that
you don't like. Or now, you know, when he talks about on the show today, just really get into it
is Tucker Carlson's son works for JD Bantz, unless you know that. And they're now asking his son
to disavow his father. Must make a statement about his father. Well, like, how have we got
into this. And I sent this on the show, but it reminds me so much of, do you remember when
Sidney went viral for her mom having a Big 60 Great Again birthday party? No. Okay, it was like
2022, I think. These photos made their way around Reddit and X and all of the things that people
saw her at, you know, her birthday celebrating my mom and there were like MAGA looking hats in
the background and everybody lost their shit. And it turns out it was make 60 gray again.
And she took a photo with one, some relative who was wearing a thin glue line t-shirt.
that just exploded it even more.
And she had to make this statement.
And she basically said, guys, like, get over it.
She was like, I'm not going to disavow on my family.
I don't really care.
It was a celebration for my mom, and that's all that matters.
And the right was like, yes, this is so amazing.
She's an inspiration.
This is how you handle these types of things.
You know, her values don't necessarily
to represent her family.
This is great.
You know, she loves her family.
And every we are, like, demanding Tucker Wilson's son, like, condemn his father.
The Carlson's silence is deafening.
Yeah.
So anyway, so I just think it's all a bit ridiculous.
I would rather people air out their ideas and debate them.
They sunlight is the best disinfectant.
If you hate somebody's ideas, like, let them speak and see what people think about them.
I think that there is a bit of a Streisand effect going on as well.
The lowly say, like, don't listen to this.
Don't listen to that person.
Especially with my generation, every's going to go like.
Exactly.
I'm going to go and rumble and I'm going to see what's happening.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So those are my thoughts on.
on it. What I'm interested in is why the unity that we saw for probably the last four years
has started to splinter apart. My notion, my bro-science theory, is when you're outside of the tent
pissing in, it's very easy to unify because you're trying to achieve a common goal. Like,
we must get into power. Like, look at these people. Groups are bound together more over the mutual
distaste of an out-group as opposed to the mutual love of the in-group. But as soon as you're
inside of the tent pissing out, you're the guys that are in power, you start to look around
and go, well, maybe he's, actually, we don't, maybe he can go out of the tent now.
And I think if you look at the left, because this was the argument that the right always had
against the left, the progressives and the liberals and the far left and the populists and that,
you know, look at how, it's so fractured, they're so ununified, they can't even, and now you
look at the left and you think, well, they seem like they're pulling in, rowing in sort of a relatively
similar direction, and it's the right that's doing that. And the only thing that I can see is
who's in power? They're the ones that seem to sort of fight between themselves.
That's your part of human nature is that when you get in power, I think now that we have
this control, we feel like we won, I think people got a little bit complacent, understandably so,
because it felt so great last November. Like, I was writing an absolute high. The campaign was so
much fun. I loved covering it. I felt like we were on top of the world. We had so many independents
come over, it really felt like there was this unity across party lines. Come January, maybe
February, it was like everything imploded. And I think you're right. People started looking around
and going, you know, we're nitpicking this and this and this, which is, I think, a good thing in
some ways. I think that, you know, it's important to criticize the admin. It's, you know, important to
not just roll over and go, oh, just because we're in power, just because I agree with this person
on some things, I'm going to roll over. I'm not going to question things. I'm not going to push back.
Obviously, you need to push back. I think that that's something that the left has not done very well,
even looking at Biden and Kamala, obviously there were huge errors that occurred during their presidency, things that are their administration, things that were overlooked and lied about. And so many people on the left were just like, blah, la la la. Like, no, there's no issues. No, Biden doesn't have dementia. No, there's no issues with any of this. It's totally fine. He's amazing. He's the best president ever. And so I do think that it is, it's a good thing that the right asks questions and probes and criticizes. But I think that it has in place.
a little bit, where now we've gotten a little bit loose with that. And I think it's giving the
left a lot of power, unfortunately. I mean, we just saw, you know, in New York City, Mdani 1.
I think that's pretty indicative of where things could go in the midterms and in 2028. And so I think
Republicans have a lot of work to do. Is the idea of Maga dead now in that way?
No, I don't think so. I think that because Maga isn't Trump. I think people can argue that it is,
Obviously, he created it. He coined the term. But the ideas and the values behind make America great again. I think those will withstand. And I think that still drives a lot of people in the conservative movement. It will be interesting to see how everything unfolds when Trump is not in office, when he's kind of out of the picture when he officially retires. If he ever does retire, not saying he's going to run again, obviously. But if he, you know, kind of steps back from public life and just goes and golfs with his grandkids, what?
the party will look like and what MAGA will look like. But I think it is an idea and something
that drives, I don't think that that's dead. That's an interesting point. I've never considered
what he's going to do after his presidency because that is a man who really does not like
not being in the limelight. No, exactly. Can you be a vice president after you've been a president?
Or do you have to be completely out of the administration after you have no idea? He might be able to
be. Because if he just swap top and bottom with vans. Yeah, yeah, exactly. He's like, no, I'm
never leaving. Yeah, exactly. 16 years of me.
either as president or vice president.
Or we can just start another reality show.
That would be my preference.
Who wants to be a president?
Exactly.
Yeah, I wonder whether that's going to cause power vacuum and more fracturing
or whether everybody's going to have to rally behind one person.
In order to win, we need to rally behind one person.
But I do think that it will, as we're seeing right now,
I think that there will be a lot of fracturing to see what the direction of the party goes.
I think that's really what we're seeing at the moment,
is people are fighting for what is the new conservatism without Trump.
And it feels a little bit preemptive in a way
because it's like, okay, well, we still have familiar years of him
and hopefully we have, you know, eight years advance.
I love J.D. I think he's phenomenal.
And I'm excited for him to run.
But I do think people are trying to figure out, you know,
out with the old and with the new that they're trying to suffer,
especially with Gen Z because Gen Z's a very different beast.
What would you say are the factions that are splintering off?
How do you come to think about the terrain of,
Yeah. Like the right at the moment.
I think we have what I would call like the establishment neocons, you know, the politicians
that have been office for God knows how long. And then I think we have the, you know, the younger,
I would say the cooler right that is, you know, pro-Israel. So it's not like they are these
neocons that have been in office, but they are per Israel. And then I think you have, maybe there's four.
And then you have people that, you know, they say are more far right.
Maybe you could put them in the camp of Fuentes.
Maybe he's in a camp of his own who are anti-Israel.
That's really caused.
That's really been the biggest.
Who's the pro-Israel one?
Who's in that group?
I see that as like the Babylon B guys, Ben Shapiro.
And then I think you have people that are a bit more in the middle like the Megan Kelly's and where I think
Charlie Kirk was, who are actively trying to keep everybody together and who don't really
fall in either any of these camps and want to continue pushing the party forward and are
working on unifying and bringing people together, and who have critiques with both of these
groups. But often the people that sit in the middle, as we're seeing with Megan Kelly, like,
she isn't good enough for either group. She gets criticized by people who are further right,
the Gropers, Nick Fuentes, whatever it might be. But she also, you know, is not pro-Israel enough
for the people in that fraction. So it feels like a purity test. Yes. And so she's constantly
ping-ponging back and forth. I think that she's doing a very good job of handling it right now.
And she's really trying to maintain her personal close relationships, which I think is important
above all else. She's obviously been in this world for a long time. And she has friends on all
different sides of, you know, these issues. And in the admin and out of the admin, she's in a
tough spot. But it's been interesting to watch her navigate. And I'm learning a lot from that
because I do think that she's handling it gracefully. Well, handling it badly is not too hard to do.
And we've seen enough people that have face planted or put both of their feet in their mouths
in an attempt to try and like, I don't know. We've definitely seen a lot of people be very
gregarious when you're on the outside this sort of anarchistic we must at any any way I'm
part of the rebellion we're going to push back against the hegemony and it's like yeah dude you are
the hegemony now like you can't have even within content online it's so much easier and
sexier to be the upstart rebel pushing back against the establishment yeah when you become the
establishment you can't do that so I wonder that's what happened with the left
And I think that's why, you know, we took power and control in 2024 is because so many young people looked around and went, oh, I'm not, I'm no longer raging against the machine. I am the machine. Like, I'm raging for the machine. And so I do think that that has caused a bit of a shift. And so I'll be interested to see how that happens on the right.
How do you think conservatives feel about Trump's performance so far?
I can say how I feel about it. There's a lot of things that I feel really great about. And he's doing things that I feel.
I voted for, especially at the beginning. I feel like we just, like, raced out of the Great
Gates. I am definitely in support of, you know, deportations and getting our border secured.
I was really excited about almost all of his, I would say all of his executive orders. I think
we were heading in the right direction. I know that he is working on the economy, but I think
where I and many of my Gen Z counterparts feel a bit trepidacious about things is we haven't felt
the impacts of that yet. We aren't seeing tangible changes in the affordability in life in the U.S.
And I think that a lot of young people are looking around and going, okay, well, I voted for lower
costs. I want to be able to buy a home. I am worried about my student loan debt, whatever it may be,
I want to be able to afford the groceries that I want to buy. I want to be able to continue
living in the city that I have grown up in, like in New York. And I think that that group,
especially young people are getting a bit nervous.
And I think that's why...
Maybe 12 months in now, chop, chop, where is it?
Yeah.
And of course, those things take time.
And I have a lot of empathy for the situation that Trump, you know, came into.
He was handed a hell of a project.
Because I think that through COVID and the Biden presidency,
just so many things blew up.
And so he has a lot to repair.
So I understand that.
But I also understand the young people, especially who are looking around and going,
no, my life is starting now.
and I feel like I can't catch up
and I need to see this change
and to have Trump then go on Fox News
and say there is no affordability crisis
you've made it up in your head
it's like that's...
The average... Do you see that stat
that the average age of first home purchase
is now over 40?
Yeah, it's insane.
It's the highest it's ever been.
And for repeat homebuyers, I think it's 61.
Yeah, yeah.
And like how can you not look at those stats
as a young person and go like, there's no hope for me?
Yeah.
And why would...
I'm 21. I'm at university.
You're telling me I'm going to...
going to grind for the next 19 years on average to get my first home.
Yeah. And if the number is presumably shifting, by the time that you get there,
it's 45, it's, yeah. And I think that there's a lot of betrayal that I see with young people
where they, the sentiment is like, I did everything right. Like, I did all the right things in high
school. I did all the extracurriculars. I volunteered. I got the great grades. I did well in the
I went to a four-year university. I took out the loans because everybody told me I needed to go to
this great university and do all the right things. And now I'm coming out. Yeah, exactly. Now they're
coming out. They can't get jobs, especially when it comes to, you know, straight white men who are getting
passed up. There were new statistics about that. I think that the majority of, hopefully I'm not
putting my foot in my mouth here, but I think the majority of hires in the last couple of years were
DEI hires. And so young men especially, young white men are looking around and going like,
what was it all for? And now I'm not even going to be able to buy a home and, like, God forbid,
be able to, like, support a wife and children. If that trickles down as well, if your older brother
or older friends from the sports teams that you grew up in or just what you see being posted
online gives you this sense that the future is not going to be that hopeful, it causes a lot
of despondency. I think this is one of the big challenges that people face. It's not just what is
the reality of the economy. Can people afford stuff? It's what do people think the reality is?
Yes. This is intergenerational competition theory. So you, at your age, compare yourself to where you
think your parents were at your age. And the problem there is you don't actually know where your
parents were. So everybody thinks that the golden era get that into you. Husband will be happy.
Oh, yeah. Everybody thinks that the golden era from the past was better. But interestingly,
no one ever believes they're living through a golden age, right? The 90s, no one thought
we're living through a golden age. The 70s, no one thought we're living through a golden age. The 30s,
no one thought we're living through a golden age. But in retrospect, you assume that that's what
it was like. And in many ways, affordability, first time ownership, you can look at objective
metrics of that. But the biggest one is how do people feel about it? And if you feel like you're
being kicked in the nuts over and over again, that is your reality, whether or not that is your
reality. And I think that's probably a lot of Trump's frustration is that he's like, I see that I'm making
change. Like I'm moving the needle. I'm trying to make this happen. But it's really hard to fight with
an entire generation of young people who again are looking around and going, I'm not going to
make it. Where is what I was promised? Yeah, exactly. And you said I always go back to this because
it was just such an eloquent way to put it. But when you came on my show, however many years ago that
was, you said, the bar is so low that you don't have to do much to stand out. And I think that that
that rings true in that situation as well. There are obviously young people who do buy
homes, who do make it work. And a lot of times their mindset is different. That does not mean
that just changing your mindset is going to fix everything because it does require a lot of
sacrifices. It requires probably adjusting the plan that you assumed you would follow,
whatever it might be. But there is a path for homeownership for young people. There is a path
for success, starting families. Obviously, I see it every day. But for a lot of people when you are,
in, yeah, this vacuum of, I'm never going to make it. I'm never going to make it. And objectively,
it is hard. Objectively, interest rates are high. objectively, things are not affordable. I don't want
young people to be in enlist. I don't want them to have to leave the cities that they want to live in
and, you know, change their careers, whatever it is. But unfortunately, that kind of is the
reality that we are currently living in. And I think one of the most important things you can do is
first assess your reality and go, okay, I just have, you know, this is it. I have to accept it. Now,
what am I going to do about it? So if I had to give advice, that would be what it is. That doesn't make
the situation any better. But it's like, okay, if you can't fight this yourself right now,
obviously you can vote differently, you can do whatever you want. You can advocate for different
policies. But as an individual, in order to make yourself feel better and push your life in a
better direction, the first step, in my opinion, is always, okay, this is my reality. What am I going
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I think it's a great perspective, and I understand what you mean, that any
Any conversation about your mindset has an influence on your outcomes in life needs to be caveated with, well, objective reality still exists.
Yeah.
Right.
Okay.
Now that that's fucking out on the table, there's some red tape.
There's the disclaimer.
I think it's the best way to look at it because every other person also has that same belief of this is too hard.
I'm never going to get there, et cetera, et cetera.
And that demotivation, that lack of drive, that hopelessness impacts their push to go and do something.
something so that further means that the bar has been lowered like the um the fact that so many
people believe it's so hard to do so little means that if you can just the tiniest glimmer of
hope that you can self manifest or you're around three friends that you find that are a little
bit more optimistic than most people are on average that is the performance enhancer the average
American adult is obese, divorced, and less than 1K in the bank?
Yeah.
That's the average.
Yeah.
Again, the bar is low.
Obese, divorced, less than 1K in the bank.
Doing what everybody else does sounds like a safe option, but it's actually a reliable
route to a life that you probably don't want.
Correct.
So that includes what you believe.
That includes what you believe about the future.
So, well, everybody else says, it's like, okay, what are the outcomes that everybody else
who says gets?
Well, they're not that great. And again, objective reality exists. The average homeowner rate,
the highest it's ever, ever been for first time purchases. Yes, yes, yes. But again, that big cohort
that's shifting that way means that the outliers can exist down here. Now, a surprising insight here
that you probably weren't expecting, Destiny, when he came on my show, he explained an idea of how
I asked him, what do you say to left-wing people who outsource a lot of their,
agency in the world to the circumstances that they're in,
that sort of externalizing sense of control.
And he said, he thinks about it as sort of a two-step flow theory.
I came up with the name, but can you explain the theory?
So he said that there's a particular bracket within which you sit,
and this will be determined by your genetics.
It'll be determined by where you grew up,
who your parents were, the area you're in, the time of the world that you existed within.
And he's like, that bracket is really, really hard to move, right?
That is kind of objective reality.
But inside of that bracket, it's all you.
Yeah.
And the more effort that you apply, the more diligent that you can be, the more pro-social
you can be, the more hopeful you can be.
Yeah.
That allows you to move within that.
So, yeah, you can whine about where the bracket is.
I do get that.
But especially if you're toward the bottom end within the bracket, it's like, dude, that's on you.
Yeah.
And I understand.
That's a great way to put it with.
Yes.
The bracket might be in different places.
But your movement within it.
Exactly.
It's, it is all in front of you.
Yeah, that's your personal responsibility.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Who knew that destiny was going to be the savior for this?
That's great.
But I get the sense,
the young people conversation is going to be, like,
increasingly important because the young people are going to become the middle-aged people.
Not very long, you know.
Yeah, most significant voting block.
When, millennials and Genzy.
When Trump was first voted in, 2016,
Mm-hmm.
that would have been sort of millennials as the young and upcomers.
And by the time that J.D. Vance needs to come in,
some of those millennials are going to be nearly in the 50s or probably in the 50s.
So that's a big, that's a big swing.
That's a big difference in terms of where people are out in terms of their lives,
if they haven't had delivered what they wanted.
What do you make in reflection, what do you think Mamdani's election tells us or teaches us?
What did you take away from that?
Well, first of all, I saw a lot of people responding and going, you know, this means that we need to teach young people about the dangers of socialism and communism and that's what, you know, that's the response here.
I actually don't think that people were voting for him in large part because they were all socialists.
Like I don't think the majority of New Yorkers are socialists. They were voting for him. Number one, because he preached about affordability in the economy. Again, that is the number one issue. It was the number one issue in 2024. It's what Trump talked about, basically ever since.
single day on the campaign trail. It's why he won. It's why people are desperate for him to
deliver and are still, you know, trying to be helpful. And it's hard to argue with free.
When you're saying, I'm going to give free housing and free groceries. We're going to do all
of these things. People are going to go, that sounds really great because things are really
freaking expensive. It's like it wasn't surprising to me at all. I also had a lot of people
asking, you know, were you shocked that young women voted for him? No. Like young women are the
most far left group in history. They are also worried about the economy and affordability. Those
two things combined. Like, obviously they were going to vote for him. They are, you know, much
further left on all these social issues. Um, so, no, I think that it just solidifies the fact that
the number one thing people are concerned about is their futures in the economy and obviously
affordability. And I also think it solidifies the fact that politics really is about personality.
And I think that we saw a major shift, especially with Obama and the, you know, I grew up during
the Obama years. And just looking back, he brought politics into pop culture. And he became this
pop culture figure. And then with Trump, obviously, he is an entertainer. He connects with people
on that level. He brought pop culture into politics. Yes. And I think that that still rings true.
And they tried to run Cuomo thinking that he could beat somebody like Mumdani, who was going viral
every single day on social media, who genuinely looks like he enjoyed the campaign trail.
That was the similarities that I saw with Trump and Mamdani.
I think that they're, you know, two different sides of the same coin of like Trump loves the fight.
He loves being out there, you know, the adages, you know, shaking hands and kissing babies.
He loves being the McDonald's fry cook and doing the gags and getting in the garbage trucks, whatever it is.
Mbani loves doing the same thing.
When we got to New York a couple of weeks ago, Alex and I were in New York for the,
for that election, actually, because I had to show there
and was doing a bunch of stuff with Fox.
And the moment that we landed there,
my TikTok algorithm completely shifted
to show me all New York stuff.
And I had been kind of tuned out.
And we got there on Sunday,
and I was like, oh, obviously,
the moment I opened TikTok,
I was like, he's going to win.
Because I got served these ridiculous videos
that Cuomo was making.
They were like AI attacks on Mamdani.
He wasn't actually out in the streets
interacting with anybody.
Apparently, allegedly,
he hasn't even lived in New York City
since the 90s.
and he was using his daughter's address
to register himself to be able to run
like a whole weird thing
and Mamdani like is this New Yorker
and he's speaking to New Yorkers
and I remember sitting in our hotel room
and a video popped up of Mumdani
and he was doing like Tai Chi
in a old folks home in New York
with a bunch of like old like female New Yorkers
and whoever had posted it
had put this like really sad like TikTok music behind it
and I was laying in bed watching it was like oh he's kind of cute
Alex's like shut the fuck up
they're getting you that's how they get you
Exactly. They were like, turn it off. Don't look at it. But it showed me a lot because I was like, oh, no, he is the entertainer. He's connecting in the same way that Trump connected with voters, where he is just like speaking like a normal human being. Trump, the appeal of him to so many people, especially, you know, I love this about him, is that he has more money than most of us could even fathom having. He has this insane life. He lives in these like gold-plated mansions and penthouses. And yet he looks completely comfortable driving a trash truck. He can talk to the average American. You feel her.
heard and seen by him. You feel like he understands your issues. He's funny. He's relatable.
And Mamdani has that same, has those same attributes. Meanwhile, Cuomo was probably the most,
like, stiff, ridiculous, you know, unrelatable politician ever. And it was also unfortunate
to me that, like, that's who the GOP told us to throw our support behind. It's like,
this is the best alternative. Like, I'm tired of having, like, the better of two evils, basically.
So I wasn't surprised that he won. I think it shows us that people
care about personality, they care about authenticity, and they care about affordability. They
want free things. When it comes to the affordability point, politicians that are the challenger
always have an advantage because they can make promises that they haven't had to deliver on yet.
Whereas if you're the incumbent and you say, I'm going to do X. It's like, you've been in
fucking power. This was the criticism of Kamala Harris, right, that she had been, how can you say
we are going to get in who's we? You are we, right? You were you then.
You were a part of this.
Why did you not do it before?
You've been in for four years.
Free sounds great until someone needs to fuck the bill for it.
Or until you do something with the taxes that causes people to leave,
which causes the taxes to go down,
which causes austerity to have to kick in more.
So I wonder how much of this, if there is more of a crunch coming,
if there is a little bit of a squeeze in terms of the economy, finances,
I wonder how much he's going to result in just a flip-flopping between the side that's in
has come up against the physics of reality economically, socially, et cetera.
So the side that's out can always make the promise that the side that's in can't.
Yeah, and then you just continue to like...
And we're already seeing it with him, Donnie.
I think it was like a week in.
Because he rolled something back.
Yes.
So he was like, I actually, oh, I don't know if I can make this like free house.
He was talking about some apartment complex, I believe.
And he was like, I don't really know.
Oh, yeah. He was like, it might not be free, maybe less expensive. He also immediately, this was just hilarious. People went to his victory party expecting that there would be free booze, free food, whatever it is. It was a cash bar. And it was just like so perfect. And there were all these posts being like, oh, I was invited to this. And I thought after all the work that we put in, you know, it would be free, obviously. And I had to pay $13 for my beer. Like, oh, well, I'm glad this is really working out for us. And then he also, he had done
this whole grandstanding a couple of months ago where he was like, guys, I'm going to do what no
politician has ever said before. Don't send me any more money. We have enough money. We don't
need any like millionaires funding us. Don't send us anymore. The day after he was elected,
he was like, okay, so now I need more money. So now I need you to keep sending me more money.
Everybody's like, wait, well, I thought everything was going to be free. I thought we didn't need
to do anything. Anyway, so it's already, it's already happening. One of the problems, one of the
political becoming personal or pop cultural, which is you can make claims that sound really sexy,
but at some point that sort of check needs to be cashed or the hypocrisy can be called out of
something that you meant before that was like a cool campaign slogan. And you're like,
I don't really mean it. And it's not as if that hasn't been the same for Trump either, right?
The H-1B visas thing, like affordability. I think, I don't know, there is some kind of,
of plot armor that Trump has, that because he's so gregarious, kind of like the, I'm just a
comedian, you know, that kind of get it. It's like, I'm just Trump. And that's not, the standard of your
president should not be able to use the cliche caricature of their own surname to explain
away why they didn't do the thing that they said that they were going to do. But I think if somebody's a
little bit more earnest like Mamdani was, you can't, you don't get this sort of buffer zone
of like him just like bloviating his, well, you know, you just say his things. It's like,
well, you don't know, you're supposed to be a precise politician who's statesmanlike and
doing this stuff. So in some ways, that gives you the advantage of seeming real, of seeing
relatable, of seeming authentic in a way that Trump seems authentic, but he seems authentic.
in the same way that a WWE character
or a Marvel villain is authentic.
It's like, well, he's just being himself.
He's larger than life.
What, congruent,
congruent might be a good way to put it,
that, like, he believes what he's saying, right?
But that doesn't mean that what he's saying
and what he believes what he's saying,
but that doesn't mean that what he believes is accurate.
Like, sometimes he just has the idea of out of it comes.
But, yeah, that's going to be a challenge.
The bigger the promises are that you make,
the more challenge it's going to be
when you have to deliver them when you get into office.
And if Mamdani...
Especially when you've been handed such a mess like Trump was.
And when the promises are so grand like Mamdani.
True.
Well, I think that...
So larger than life and a completely...
It's like overhauling the entire system of how that city has been run.
Yes.
The Trump thing, the mess thing I get.
But to a big degree, Biden came into a fucking huge mess as well.
He came in in the middle of COVID.
Yeah.
And there does seem to be, I don't follow.
understand this, but I get the sense that every administration sort of curls a steaming turd out
just as they're about to depart and goes like, good luck, good luck with that. We've had to deal
with this for ages and I don't know. That one's on you, Joe. So every administration has to deal
with it. It's certainly not, it wouldn't be fair to say that Biden didn't because he entered in
the middle of a fucking pandemic and then had to do the rollout for the vaccine, even being developed
and then you've got this sort of weird balancing act
that you've got to do between the two.
Like it's Trump's vaccine,
but it's our rollout,
but the anti-vac pro-vac.
Yep.
And the lockdown started with Trump.
Big pharma.
And then you've got to keep...
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So everybody has this stuff that they inherit.
And people have just got such short memories.
They've got such short memories around...
The point that you were making only four years ago
to criticize this thing is the exact one you're using as a...
Oh, exactly.
But, yeah, I'll be fascinated to see what happens with a...
with New York because you're picking
like maybe one of the most
sort of capitalistic, ruthless greed is good
archetype. Economic center.
Yes, correct. And what if you strike directly at the
middle of that? I mean, what was the thing that Trump did? He shut
down that like parking, that travel fine that was from
77th Street down to 20th Street. Like Midtown had
if you pass your car through that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he was like,
that's not good. That's
going to go away, etc., etc. I don't know. He would be another point, actually. What do you think
conservatives and Republicans are missing in how they can better compete for Genzi? If you've got
this huge female swing, I'm aware it's New York centric, but it's probably indicative of other
cosmopolitan areas around the country. What are the right missing that Mamdani got correct?
again, I think it goes back to saying the right things, unfortunately.
Like, it's like the right has to deliver.
Like, that's easier said than done.
But we're at such a turning point as we've been talking about that I think people,
especially in New York, especially people who are on the left, were desperate for something new because I think people on the left are just as fed up with their own establishment politicians.
They were, you know, they didn't want Kamala to be insated.
I think they were tired of the fact that Bernie never got a fair shot.
because they primate whatever it is. They primaried him. And so I think that we're all dealing with
the same type of feelings. And Mamdani was an outsider and a disruptor. And so I think that worked
the same way that Trump worked in 2016. And so I do think that it comes down to what Trump and
Vance are able to deliver. And I also think if Vance is the nominee in 2028, his messaging has to be so
incredibly clear and he cannot fall prey to, you know, the neocon messaging.
What would be the biggest error errors that he could make in a, if you were to design a
campaign for JD to fail as impressively as possible, what would he be talking about?
I think a big part of it would be tone and talking down to people. I think that's one way
that he shines right now is that JD Vance sounds the same when he is speaking to a supporter
in middle of America. He sounds the same when he's speaking to a reporter. He tweets in the same way. He doesn't take himself too seriously. I think that is a great quality. And I think if he loses that and becomes a bit to, I guess, politicians speak and a bit too diplomatic, I think that's where he'll start to lose people again because politics is personality. So I think that is like going to be the driving force here. I think if he talks a lot about foreign affairs, I think if he's saying we're going to send all of our money overseas, I think that's going to be a
problem for young people. Because again, if we're looking at our own country and going, you know,
if my generation is saying, I don't feel like I can buy a house. I am, you know, under all of this
debt. My taxes are so high. I can't start a family. Whatever it is, if that is the attitude that
they have and what they feel like their reality is, the last thing they want to hear is, hey,
we're shipping our money overseas. And so I think that's going to be a real pressing issue.
I also think, when I said this in a recent episode that I was interested to see how people responded to it and they actually agreed, but I kind of made a joke and I was like, I don't think my generation cares as much about owning the libs. They care about owning a house. And the culture war is obviously important, but it felt less important in Mamdani's campaign. And I think that showed a lot. Like obviously he was like, you can come here and you can get your gender reassignment surgeries, whatever, but that wasn't the key point of his campaign. He was talking about making your life better.
for all New Yorkers.
Very radical economically, but relatively normal culturally.
I guess normal culturally for his base.
Yes.
Yeah.
Not normal in how I would say.
Yes.
But it was not the focal point of his campaign.
His campaign was New York first allowing New Yorkers to be able to stay in their city and
afford homes and afford groceries.
And that works for people.
And I think that that is working for people on the right.
Like when I said that, I had hundreds of comments.
It's being like, oh my gosh, this, yes, that is exactly how I feel like I'm fed up with going
back and forth out.
He said, she said, oh, this crazy person did this on the left.
Like, I'm tired of it.
I just want to be able to move my life forward and not feel like I'm a hamster in a wheel.
And I'm, you know, both sides are giving me the same solution that isn't making my life any better.
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I had a...
I had a shiny object cycle
that I tweeted about
a while ago and I think this kind of explains at least a little bit of what people have
become frustrated with so this is the culture wars shiny object cycle here's how it goes
okay number one some woke news story hits the press cats suffer from racial discrimination
or screwing in light bulbs needs to be recognized as a valid sexual kink or something
number two the right wing antibody response activates look at how insane these people are
matt walsh quote tweets the article and calls it obnoxious this is the problem with our convenient
decadent TikTok society.
Number three.
This reaction causes the story to gain infinitely more traction
than it ever would have done
by signal boosting the original fringe scenario
into a much bigger event.
Number four, the left wing counter response activates.
Right wingers lose their minds over one woman
with a particularly dark cat.
The Daily Wire has a meltdown
over an insignificant troll article.
In times where the original story is less insane,
this includes a defense of the original article too.
Cats actually can experience trauma
minimizing this is the real problem.
Number five, the right-wing re-reaction kicks into gear.
Apparently, I'm insane for pushing back against cat trauma.
See, this is the problem.
If we don't stand our ground, these blue-haired idiots will take over the country.
And number six, and finally, the touchgrass meta-reaction re-steam in.
The real issue is people talking about this issue.
Look at how silly this whole thing is.
It's time to check out of the culture war.
We should reconnect with what really matters.
Should move into the ranch next to Ryan Holiday and hammer fence post into the ground for the rest of time.
This cycle is banal.
It's excruciatingly repetitive.
So why does it sustain our attention if basically every discussion follows the same cycle?
Because every story is sprinkled with just enough novelty to give it the illusion that this is a new event, which legitimates the pushback.
We've not seen this trans flag with people who suffer from a gluten intolerance included in it before.
It's like a 20th season of Lost where they're back in an island for the seventh time and need to escape, but this time it's winter.
The Culture Wars shiny object cycle does my head in.
It does my head in because I get captured by it.
I see a bank rewriting classic fairy tales into a boss bitch remake called Fairer,
tales, princesses doing it for themselves, and think, this is fucking dumb. Where's Douglas Murray?
I need him to decimate this idea with me. It's cathartic. Calling out insane ideas written by
idiots is so compelling and fun and easy to do. It's like being a cocaine addict with Pablo
Escobar as a next door neighbor. The memes of production are whirring at maximum RPM and we're all
caught in the vortex. But it's a distraction. It's a distraction from our attention being focused
on the things which are actually meaningful. Not meaningful in a, will you remember this when you're
dead? Way. But inner, there's other issues that are more important to talk about. Way.
There's entire American cities with fentanyl epidemics, 80% of suicides of people aged 18 to 24 that are men.
I want to hear Peterson talking about dealing with finding meaning in a world stripped of all its guardrails.
I want Taleb to be writing about applying complex maths to simple life problems.
Many of the smartest people on the planet have had their attention captured,
arguing about whether men and men and women are women are not over the last few years,
and even more of the less smart ones too.
All of our collective minds are held hostage by an endless cycle of shiny objects that aggravate both sides
and make them feel righteous for standing their ground.
to bottomless pit. I don't think it's going to stop. I will almost certainly bring up stories like this in future, but I'm going to try hard to focus more on stuff that matters in 50 years, not just in 50 minutes, and probably so should you. That's great. And I think that you have the self-awareness to acknowledge that you get captured by that as I do. And that's something I've thought about a lot this year. That was actually something that I was really considering as I left comment section and was going out of my own was
How often did I fall into that out of the necessity of having to do two shows a day?
I'm contracted to do these shows.
I need to come up with two things to talk about every single day.
I was doing 10 episodes a week.
And in looking back, I was like, how often was I just pulling things out of my ass?
And they were all things I enjoyed talking about.
And I thought that they were funny.
And I do think that in those situations, I'm of the opinion that, yes, there are far more
important things to talk about. I think I'm landing more there these days, especially with the
content that I'm doing. However, I do think it's important when something is so egregious and
ridiculous. It's less that I think it's important to wag the finger and say, this is so awful
and, you know, a atrocity, but also just to like laugh at it. And I think that's why, and yeah,
because it's so absurd. And the right is doing things that are absurd. And the left has been doing
things that are crazy, but also the right has been doing the same thing. And I think that's kind of
where I found myself landing, even throughout, you know, comment section when I was doing two
episodes a day. I did always come from a place of, you know, what can we actually learn from this?
Like, I don't want to just make fun of something or bring something up for the sake of, you know,
ha, ha, ha, and pointing a finger. But what can we actually take away from this? The kernel of
truth that sits in it. Yeah. And I always tried to end my episodes with that because it was like,
if I don't care about what I'm talking about, if there isn't something that people can learn from,
then why am I even talking about that?
But that was a big piece of reflection as I was leaving.
And I scaled back in my show tremendously.
I was like, okay, I'm only going to do two episodes a week.
They need to be really, really good topics.
I need to really care about them.
And I'll build from there.
But I need to completely take a step back from this hamster wheel that I've been in of two episodes every single day.
And really find out what do I like talking about?
What is meaningful?
What is meaningful right now?
Because now I think everything you said was completely.
true. And it's so funny
with the outrage cycle of
then whoever is being critiqued
who just digs your heel in even more
or their claws in whatever it is. The response
and the re-response and the met reactionaries. It's not actually
happening and then they're like no but it's a good thing
that it's happening and the right's doing that too now.
It's not happening and it's good. Yes exactly
and two you know two things can be true
at once. But I found that
humor was the best way to navigate
that. Was like I'm not
going home at night and thinking about
the gluten-free trans flag, but I do think it's funny to laugh at it, and we can spend
10 minutes going, this is really absurd. Can you believe our culture has gotten here? And that felt
like the healthiest way to go about it. What feels more unstable to you, politics or culture
at the moment? Can you even separate the two? I think that's my main question. They're so
intertwined. I think culture is more dominant at the moment and is influencing more of politics.
So I would say that's just a bit more volatile.
Well, when we think about my initial fracturing of the right question, we're talking about culture.
Yeah, we're not talking about the right.
Yes.
Yeah, no, no, no.
I mean like the YouTube right.
Yes.
I don't mean the political right.
The real people, yeah.
It's the end of the human centipede with YouTube at the front.
Yeah.
That's what's so ridiculous.
It's like, oh, the civil war.
And it's like with a group of people on X.
They make videos.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, wild.
Everybody's competing for views and dominance.
You've got to quote
Spend one day being grateful that you're allowed to say that online
That you're allowed to criticize your country
Because a lot of people don't have that freedom
Now
That would sound like
You know you're talking about Iran
You're talking about North Korea
Unfortunately now you might be talking about the UK
As well
Just that quote in isolation
And then realizing
Oh that's my country
That's actually my country
It's Western civilization now
Well, that's certain pockets of it.
I don't know whether it's the same in France or Germany.
I don't know what Canada is like.
I guess it's coming into Western civilization.
It's certainly coming into my civilization.
But yeah, that's...
Yeah, when you're arrested at the airport coming into the country for making trans jokes.
Graeme Linnehan.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Creator of Father Ted.
It's happening so much more at the moment.
And I think the immigration concerns that people in the UK have at the moment
even you are starting to feel that with regards to the H-1B thing.
The advantage America has is it's such a fucking huge country
that you can let lots of people sneak across the border illegally
and still it doesn't get felt that much in the same way as a country with 20% of the population
in I think the population density of the UK is 10 times more than the UK.
U.S. because it's, yeah, it's only 20% of the people, but it's in like 2% of the landmass or something
like that. That being said, the fact that this H-1B visa thing, and we actually don't have as many
smart people in the country as we need, we do need to import them from China, that's going to
start to be felt by the exact sort of upper working class, middle-class group that was supposed to be
the mainstay of sort of Trump's future.
JD's future as well.
And I think that the HB-H-1B visa stuff is interesting because it is not a majority of workers in America.
I think people look at that issue and think, oh, this is, you know, a huge, huge fraction of people.
And it is significant, but we do have more Americans working than people we've imported.
But I think for people who are concerned about it like myself, it's more of the message that we're sending Americans, that it's like,
I mean, Trump said it himself, and it was disappointing, where he was, you know, very bluntly said, we don't have the talent, therefore we need to import people.
And I think you have Americans looking around who can't find work again, these young people who did everything right, who went through the system, who are coming out now and can't find jobs.
And they're going, you're kidding me.
And you look at the jobs that we are, that we're filling with these people that are coming in the country.
And Trump's talking about, you know, people need to be able to make missiles and batteries.
look at it, and it's like 7-Eleven employee. And supply chain analysts, it's like you're telling
the Americans can't be supply chain analysts that we don't have these incredible graduates who have
come out of our universities who are looking for jobs. You're telling me we have to import somebody
from China or India to do this job. It just doesn't make sense. And I think the entire system
just needs to be basically blown up. And if you do need to bring in new talent, if we need to
teach people how to do certain trades and skills, then focus on that and
make that the priority and make it a very specific thing. Obviously, I'm not a politician. I'm not in
D.C. I don't know how those things specifically work or what it would take to do that. But from my
position on the outside, that is what makes sense to do. Because obviously, you know, we have not
been in the manufacturing business for decades. We have outsourced so much of that. So it makes sense
that it is not going to be an overnight switch to just, you know, bring everything back to America.
but is there a way to do that without it being a slap in the face to Americans?
And I don't know, I don't know the answer to that.
And I think that'll be something that J.D. really needs to lean into because only a couple of months ago,
he was echoing the sentiments of most of the base saying, this is something we should do away with.
This is, you know, I want to prioritize handling this and reducing the amount of people.
And obviously the Trump administration, they have put fines and fees on bringing
in new people on the H-1B visas, and that is progress. So they have, you know, they've tried to do
something there. But I think it was definitely a flip-flop for Republicans when we just saw J.D. just
two months ago saying that. And then Trump was like, nope, we're not getting rid of it. We need them
because you're all dumb and you can't work. And so I think a lot of people went, ah, this is,
it's just another hit. It's hard because you want to trust the process and you want to trust that,
you know, there is a plan. But.
I think especially for young people
especially for young people who again did everything right
who are trying to find work
it's just like that's not the message that you want to send to them
it does feel like
from every different angle
hopefulness is increasingly hard
like optimism is more radical than nihilism
at the moment
and it really doesn't surprise me
do you see the sentiment analysis
of the relationship advice subreddit
has this come across your radio?
This stinks of you.
Relationships, it's never been more fashionable to ditch your suboptimal loved one.
For every post since 2010, a computer scientist used an AI to filter for and then categorize the subreddit's most upvoted comments.
He found the comments advising boundaries, therapies, and breakups have surged while nearly every other kind of advice telling people to communicate, giving each other space, compromise, et cetera, has declined.
So the law was correct.
Telling people to walk away or cut contact with someone, shown by an up until the,
the right line is the most popular tip in the relationship advice subreddit and it's not even
close and I can show you yes I want to see what the line let's like that doesn't surprise me at all
so this is 15 years of Reddit relationship advice it's over a million comments um you don't
even need to be able to see oh my gosh that's insane yeah but I mean that that is a complete
parallel to what we're seeing in politics where it's oh just cut off your family disavow your
parents.
We're about to go into Thanksgiving, which is where you get the how to ignore your racist
Maga uncle around the dinner table, how to do that.
And I think people maybe naively assume that things have just gotten better and the messages
have changed, but I was doing an episode on Teen Vogue and then being absorbed into Vogue.com,
this whole thing.
And so I was looking through some of their recent media and they had their Vogue or Teen Vogue Summit
just a couple of months ago.
and their headliner was this like body positivity confidence woman influencer speaker and they had posted a couple of clips from her talk and the thing that she was driving home was that she was so proud of the fact that she no longer speaks to her father her mother or any of her siblings and she was saying you should do that too because that is for the good of our country for your well-being you need to set these boundaries i feel great just blocked my brother yesterday is what she said and the audience is going oh okay
And you can tell there's a bit of apprehension
Like as you listen to the response
And even reading the comments
People are like
This is radical even for us
This is like a bit crazy
But that's still a message that is being set
Is you have to build these walls
We're not going to talk about things
We're going to cut people off that we disagree with
We're going to live in our echo chambers
And so yeah
That transcends just
Relationships
Yeah
Well it is strange that
At the same time
as people have a loneliness crisis, existential issues,
they've never felt more like a droid number
just bleep, bleeping away in some soulless, faceless, big apartment block.
People are struggling to find a partner that can commit that is available,
that they like, one that you'll even go on a date with them.
And yet at the same time, for the people who have got that
or who do have a family that does make them feel less alone
the resilience to work through challenges and difficulties
and to negotiate and compromise
or just in Mel Robbins language to just let them
these two worlds are trying to exist at the same time
but they feel like they're part and parcel of the same
like if you cycle through yeah if you cycle through more people
you have to find more new people.
Yeah.
Like, okay, I've gotten rid of mom, dad and both my brothers.
Okay, well, you now need like 10 friends to take the place of four family members.
And then, well, you've gotten rid of your partner, which that's why you're back on the dating market,
is because you got rid of the person that you were dating.
Yep.
And you have these people that are stuck in their own cycles of victimhood and life is awful.
And I've cut off all of my family members and they want to feel better about that,
which is why that woman is sitting on the stage saying you should cut everybody off not because
she's happy and because it's so great but because she's like I'm doing this because I feel like
it is morally a good thing. I'm virtuous. I need you guys to applaud me for doing so for doing
these incredible things, setting these boundaries. You need to do it as well because then we can
be miserable together. We can hate the world. We can hate our out of touch parents, whatever
it may be. And people who are in unhappy relationships or are not in relationships, it is more
comfortable to encourage people to be in their same situation than to say, communicate, talk
through it, compromise.
You know, your future's married couple should be something you are working towards together.
Do not abandon it altogether.
It is easier to say, screw it.
And it makes people feel better, in my opinion.
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Cut off contact with your family,
your partner
is socially and relationally
the exact same philosophy
as body positivity is for health.
It's like try and become thin
or try and become healthy
at a healthy weight.
And if you can't declare
that weight has no bearing on health
anyway. Yeah, exactly. Maybe don't even try, don't even try that, just like declare that it doesn't
in any case if you go straight to the end, the end goal. But the same thing here. Maybe some people
might try to fix their relationship with their family that they fundamentally disagree with or whatever.
But if you can't, you just cut off contact and announce that the desire for having a family
or being in connection with your brothers and mother and father is misguided and must be subdued
in any case. Yeah, well, it all goes back to creating the reality that you want to live in and what
you're most comfortable in. It is more uncomfortable to say, I don't agree with these people,
but I love them and I want them in my life. It is more uncomfortable to say, oh, I've cut these
people off, and now I'm really unhappy and I'm really lonely. So if you can trick yourself
into saying, this is empowerment. This is great. Actually, everybody should be doing this.
Then you're creating this really unhappy reality. Body positivity in the age of Ozempic is a really
radical position to take now. That Ozempic just showed how much of a scam body positivity was all
along.
Oh, my gosh, yes.
As soon as the
Amy Schumer's recent photos.
No.
Oh, she's sick in?
Yeah, the wind could blow her away.
It's like Megan Trainor.
She's no longer all about that base.
She's like this big.
Lizzo's lost the weight.
Lizzo has lost the weight.
Yeah.
I mean, Adele did it in the before times.
Yeah.
You know, she did it through health and fitness.
Interestingly.
And she looks phenomenal.
She looks fantastic.
Interestingly, I wonder whether Adel's weight loss would be
more or less accepted by her fans now.
I don't know whether part of the reason that Adele's weight loss was seen as such
a objectionable middle finger to her fans that she did it with a resource, with a fuel
that is even less accessible to most people because she did it with discipline and hard work
and willpower.
So I have this theory.
First off, the introduction of Ozzympic proved that body positivity was a scam.
You look at the golden globes.
Everyone's like a fucking cryptkeeper, these emaciated people that use.
Exactly.
It's terrible.
That was the first thing.
Second thing was, in shape people are more prejudiced against ozempic use than fat people are.
So you could imagine in one world that somebody who is bigger in body would be
less supporting of a Zempic because maybe it's like the erasure of their culture
that people who are in it would be leaving.
But I don't think that that's the case.
I think that it's people who are already in shape that have the greatest pushback
because in evolutionary psychology there are cheap and costly signals.
So a reliable signal that what you do show is what you actually mean to show and you can't fake it.
It's why a fake Rolex is a less reliable signal than a real robot.
Yeah. Or something that's harder to fake. Like a Ferrari is a better signal than a Rolex, because
the Rolex you can get counterfeit, the Ferrari is really hard to get counterfeit. Or the big house, right?
Or, um, so people who use Ozempic to go up, anybody who loses weight now might have done it
with Ozmpic. Might have done it naturally, but they might have done it with thosempic.
And our first thought as a society is to say, oh, it was impic. Exactly. So that means the people
who have had to use old school Adel fuel in order to get themselves into shape.
It's like, well, I worked really hard to do this.
And you just got to get a prescription.
And now for whatever, 500 bucks a month, you're cheating and you're getting to do what I had to do the hard way.
I had to do the hard way.
So it's the people who are in shape.
And I'm aware that people who lose weight through a Zempik don't end up in shape necessarily.
You need to change your habits.
You need to do weight training a lot or else you're going to lose bone mass and muscle mass,
blah, rah, rah, rah.
But I think you can objectively say that someone going from 300 pounds to 180 pounds,
like 180 pounds, even if it's skinny fat and all the rest of it.
In clothes, you're like, wow, look at the transformation.
How fantastic.
That means the people who are already in shape have their identity threatened more by the introduction of new people into their cohort than fat people do of people being taken out of their cohort.
But I have seen more outrage from the body positivity group.
And even pre-Ozambic really taking hold, it was like a sign of betrayal when one of them made their life.
I've changed. There is a influencer. I'm forgetting her last name. Her name is Remy. But she was always overweight, a, you know, body positivity girl. Her, she blew up for doing, like, outfit try-ons. Like, I'm going to try all these things for Abercrombie that are really trending. I'm going to try them on my body. And we're going to laugh. And, you know, we're going to talk about how none of these, none of these companies make clothes for me. That's why she blew up. She was in this relationship, had a heartbreaking breakup. They were together for like seven years. She kind of went offline for a while. She came back.
She's totally skinny, looked really different.
Oh, she nicicado avocado did it?
Yes, yeah.
The female nicicado avocado avocado.
Yeah, a little less abrasive than that.
She didn't have the pre-recorded videos or anything like that.
But She definitely took a step back, didn't show us.
She didn't talk about it at all, didn't address it.
And the outrage was so insane.
It was like the quintessential, like female hatred of just like the claws came out
and that like passive aggressiveness.
Like, oh, it's so great that you can do that.
Some of us in our larger bodies, we can't do that, whatever.
And it's like, is anybody else feel so.
betrayed that she built this brand and we paid all of her bills and now she owns this home
in the Hamptons and now she's skinny on our backs, on our body positivity, you know, backs, whatever
it is. I see more of that than people who are in shape. But I do, as somebody who stays in shape,
I understand that. But the majority of the outrage that I've seen just on social media has been
from the betrayal from the body positivity. Yeah, sure, you're abandoning us and you capitalizing
on it. That being said, it's really interesting. You use the word, well, it's all right
for you, dot, dot, dot. And this is where I think, just like, licking a finger and putting it in
the air culturally, I think you're going to see more people from the body positivity community
not having that response because anybody who has the desire to now get skinny.
Yep. It's accessible.
And is prepared to go through whatever risks are or are not there that sort of real or imagined with regards to using weight loss drugs, they can access it.
And this is the point I was making about the Adele thing.
I think Adele may have got even more pushback because her transformation felt even more out of reach.
Oh, absolutely.
Yes.
And I think we're, if in the scope of what you're saying, I think that we're going to quickly get.
To the point of now we have all the in-shape people who are worried about, you know,
being fat is a choice.
Yes, exactly.
Exactly.
And I think we're in this transformation now because the Remy's story, Adele, even Lizzo from earlier this year, I'm sure that that will begin to change.
These are all stories from six months to a year and a half ago when it was a little less common.
And now everybody and their mother can go get a GLP one shot.
The hypocrisy thing of you made this position.
and now you've reversed this position.
Didn't, hasn't Alex Cooper come out recently
in support of something to do with relationships?
Like you should be monogamous, you shouldn't have casual set.
Did this not happen recently?
Yes.
She had something, it was even like four days ago or five days ago
where she did a, I should have watched it and prep for this.
But no, she, it was one of her sit down, like straight to came.
camera talking to her daddy gang um and it was talking about what to look for i believe in a
partner and why i think why her mind changed about being married and what to look for
well that and she's already publicly changed her mind about i mean she changed her mind by getting
married that was radical in and of itself we talked about that the last time i was on um and then
she had a few months ago where she talked about wanting children and then she kind of took a step back
because she didn't want to sacrifice her life.
It's like she's inching.
She's inching there.
One step at a time.
She does seem like she's moving in that way.
Yeah, the...
But there always has to be the caveat, like, for her audience of...
I guess, I don't love caveat is the right word, but...
Disclamer type thing?
Yes.
Well, I'm not...
Yeah, I'm not telling you yet.
I'm not saying that I'm really happy.
It's this social land acknowledgement that you need to do before.
Look, I think the last time that I was on, I did...
throw my toes out at the prime about the Alex Cooper thing. And I've had time to reflect on my
behavior. It must be very difficult. This is my diplomacy coming in. It must be very difficult
to hold a position ardently and maybe it was wrong at the time or maybe you disagree with it
or maybe you're going to regret it later. The ability to U-turn on that is really tough. And
Navigating that is hard
because if you
plan to
flag in the ground
really firmly
and for firmly
you could see that
as a
a euphemism
for like
ardent,
consistent and
like vociferous
like I'm militant
about what I'm saying
here and for years
yes yes yes yes consistently
then going
oh I don't know if I believe that
anymore
is really hard
and one of the reasons
that it's seduct
is that people who have certainty online always sound like experts.
We confuse certainty for expertise.
So if someone goes like, this is what's true and we know it and so on and so forth,
everyone around's like, well, I have self-doubt about everything.
But this person that's saying that this is absolutely the way that you should, the glug-glug-g-5,000,
you should sleep with him and not catch feels, this is like, go-g-g-g-g-g- And you're like, okay.
And she's hot and she's successful.
That must be the route to being hot and successful.
Everybody wants that.
She doesn't seem to be getting a heartbroken, all the rest of it.
And then life comes along as a young woman and delivers you the thing that you probably in many ways were looking for is like a hopeless romantic.
Like you were obsessed with romance.
It was just a particular flavor of it.
And it was one that kept your heart safe.
And it was by never fully investing yourself.
And then some guys come along and congratulations for him.
He's taken a fucking pickax and like hacked away at this shell that you've created around yourself.
And now you've cracked open.
And now you're like, oh, fuck.
yeah what I said isn't what I believe now and everybody goes on these journeys and changes and
trajectories um the problem is how you navigate that and I think like owning it and what that
means like identifying that you're wrong um it's tough it's tough to navigate uh so I'm you know
yeah and I think it's taken her she I think got married a year ago a little more than a year ago
and so it feels like she's finally coming around it it's interesting because you can watch how
her brand how, in my opinion, she's intentionally tried to shift her brand since being in a
serious relationship and getting married where she's created this unwell network. So she still has
call her daddy. It's now an interview show. And they'll talk about sex and her, you know,
guests, crazy sex lives, whatever it may be, but it's less about her. Well, hubby's not going to
be too happy if you come on and start talking about your past sexual exploits. Yes. Well, she still does,
but it's more, it's rare and it's toned down. But now she's built this umbrella.
And she's brought other podcasters into fill those gaps.
She has this girl, Haley, her name starts with the B, Belcher, something like that,
who now is the new, like, Alex Hooper, crazy party girl.
Like, her first intro was like, here's a threesome that I had that I told my dad about.
Like, all of this stuff.
Like, it's so shock value insane.
And it's not successful.
Because people wanted Alex.
They wanted her.
They fell in love with her and her relationship.
Yeah, they don't want this new other blonde chick that looks like her.
And I think that she's done a good.
good job of pivoting into doing interviews. She obviously is very successful. She has her huge
serious XM deal. She's building an incredible empire. But I think her audience has noticed that shift.
And she has like intentionally tried to fill that hole rather than just saying, hey, so I've
changed her mind about a few things that I'm going to take you along with that. It was very evident
that when she got engaged, she was like, I've been so afraid to tell you. Yeah. I feel I again,
that was, so I feel for her in that regard. No, me too. Me too. And the line between
you should have known this earlier, seen this earlier, and just hypocrisy or like contrived
not negligence, but like purposeful obfuscation.
Like I get it.
I get it.
It must be fucking rough to be like, oh shit.
This like amazing guys turn my worldview upside down and I've got all of these people
hanging on my every word and I've created this version of me that's incompatible.
And even the dating thing, like for the girls out there who kind of from the call her daddy, like, fan club, that growth, because you tend to join someone at the stage of their journey that you're at as well and you start to move with them, they must look back at their journey too and see that tracking. Also, I know that the people that listen to Modern Wisdom are like that, like, these guys that were like hustle and grind set five years ago and have been listening since then. And now they're like,
trying to like connect with my emotions a little bit more. I really want to settle down and find a
partner. I'm starting to learn about fatherhood. Like I care about my community. It's like it's less
about me. It's more about pro-social stuff. And if you still have this big expectation from an
audience to show up in a way. And again, for the girls that are listening, there is no quicker
way for you to put yourself out of the camp of long-term viable prospect than to talk about your sexual
exploits from the past.
Yes.
It immediately puts you into a particular category of non-serious girl because it takes a
very particular type of guy to want that in his future partner.
And I think that was something that I was going to say as well is that it's unfortunate
because Alex is now saying in a way, like, you know, maybe I was wrong about these things.
I've, yeah, I'm taking my life in a different direction.
I said it was never going to be married.
I am.
But she isn't completely disavowing the messages.
that she sent out young women because
if you look at her life, it worked.
They were true at the time.
Yeah, and she did all this thing.
She had her sexual exploits.
She talked about the gluck,
Glock 5,000, whatever it is,
you know, use men, spit them out,
all of that stuff, you know,
date like men, play the games,
and she still got married.
And she's rich,
and she's successful,
and she has an attractive husband.
So you can do it.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, one in however many million can do it.
Because that's a rare guy,
and she is a rare individual.
And so for her...
Fascinating.
Yeah.
This is just now the Alex Cooper show.
We'd just like to check in.
But I think she's a really important, like, tip of the spear of what's going on with young women.
And if nothing else, it should be pretty endemic of, well, someone that was kind of like the canonical role model for the sleep with him and not catch feels like young party girl archetype goes through a transformation.
So given that that's why you're going to end up on average, if you're, you know, the example, the example, the example.
superhero of that world. Can you shortcut it? Like, can you, can you get some, like, Brett Cooper
into you at 23 as opposed to having to go through the full Alex Cooper arc? In other news, you've
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Have you heard Kelsey Ballerini's new song?
No, what's that?
Okay, so Kelsey Ballerini, she had her EP, roll up the welcome mat.
country singer. She's from Tennessee. She went through a divorce in 2022. I believe her husband was
Morgan Evans. They got married young. They had a very, very public breakup. And she wrote an EP about it
that basically exploded her career. And she was always like a relatively okay, well-known country
singer like I listened to her growing up, but she was nothing huge. This took her mainstream.
She wrote an incredibly raw EP about her divorce. And in one song,
I think it was blind side, blind spot, something like that.
She talks about one of the reasons for their divorce was that he was ready to settle down and have kids.
He's seven years older than her, and she wasn't.
And she wanted to focus on her career.
And he had had a bit more of a successful career at the beginning of their marriage.
She was, you know, sort of catching up.
She was not ready for that.
And they publicly talked about this.
She gave interview.
She actually went on call her daddy.
And she said the children conversation was it.
And they apparently went out to dinner.
and she told her then husband my 30th birthday present to myself and us is going to be I'm going
to freeze my eggs because I know I'm not ready but I know you want to have kids and I'm going to
freeze my eggs and her husband was like absolutely not like I want to have children now I am ready
to settle down so they split up she was 30 he was 37 I believe so yes she was 29 about to turn 30
when they got forced and it also seems like maybe they weren't super compatible there were other
things there, but that was the crux. So now she's had this incredible success. It has been this
wild ride. She's dating the guy from Outer Banks. They had this, like, you know, fairy tale love
stories. She's writing all these songs about him. She's winning all of these awards. She's very much
in, like, the, she's just, like, exploded out of Nashville country, and now she is extremely
mainstream. She released a surprise single five days ago called I Sit in Parks. And the entire
story there is that she goes, what the song says, she goes and she sits in parks and she watches families have picnics and play with their kids, swinging on swings, and she's sitting there hitting her vape and saying, she literally talks about that, and saying, I want that and is, is it too late? How old is she now? 33.
Wow. Is she still with the guy, this new guy? The Adherbanks guy. Yeah. They almost, they broke up, but then they got back together was this whole thing. They were spotted in,
Yeah, so yeah.
Tumultuous bullshit.
It's not the same as being in a relationship
but the guy that you were going to get married.
They were, but they were for like two and a half years
and then they had a bit of a breakup now.
It seems like they might be back together.
But she released the song and she's saying,
I sit in parks and I wonder if this mom wants my freedom
like I want to be a mother.
And I wonder if it's too late.
And she says Rolling Stone says that I'm on the right path,
but I wonder if I've sacrificed my future.
And then at the end she's kind of like,
oh, well, this is the life that I've created for myself.
And she goes, my friend is due in March.
my album's due in April, so I'll go refill my Lexapro, and I'll get back to work.
And it is so incredibly raw, but it's the timeline of that, that she was divorced only three years ago
because she wasn't ready to have kids. She had this mountain of success, everything that she wanted,
and now she's sitting here and going, shit. Like, did I, that I wait too long?
And I'm guessing that she wrote this when she and the boyfriend were on a break, whatever it was.
but the women who are relating to that if you look on social media the success of the song
I mean the comments are heartbreaking it's all these I'm going I don't know if I made the right
decision I thought I did all the right things I focused on my career I've emphasized you know that
I haven't found independence financial security yeah look I mean it's kind of trite to say it because
it's been I've talked about it so much so of you um but I do think we're getting into a slight new
era now, which is asking the question, is there a way to shortcut the unteachable lesson of
financial independence will not give you the sense of belonging that you want as a young
woman?
And I understand that it feels very safe and secure rather than having yourself be a financial
prisoner of some guy.
I mean, women out-earned men up to the age of like 30 or 31 still at the moment by a couple
like grand a year. So I think that's really an issue, at least to that point.
That's something they're concocting up in their minds. To a degree, yeah. Or that you wouldn't
be able to go back to work. You wouldn't be able to go back to your career. I think that that
paternity leave, I get it, all of those issues. But asking yourself the question, like,
is it actually worth it to avoid the very thing that most women have been working toward?
like what's the financial independence for
just to like Chelsea handle your way
through the rest of life?
I don't think that that's the case.
It's an FU to men.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm going to...
It's saying, I don't need you.
Well, it's assuring your failure privately
to be able to stick the middle finger up at men publicly.
Yeah, I don't need you.
I will be a miserable flag bearer
for this movement.
But it's just, it's a really unpopular perspective
to take. So the fact that the comments was sort of with other women who had done the same thing.
But it's kind of the same as being body positive. It's toxic empathy. Yes. The optics of this
argument are much more sexy than the reality of it, right? The optics of the argument are
you don't need a man. You are enough as you are already. You don't need to wait to be chosen
by him. In fact, you don't need to be chosen at all. You and your friends and your girlies and your
vibrate or are enough to get you through the next however many decades of your life and maybe he'll
come along but if he doesn't you don't need to worry and like that is a really supportive and caring
message if you take it without the sort of militant anti-men perspective on it which is you are enough
as you are and wouldn't that be a wonderful place to get into a relationship from as opposed to one
from desperation so that you're sharing it with somebody yeah and also that you don't make the the sort
of decision out of desperation like I'm going to pick this person because I want a person not because
I want that person.
Yeah.
Understood.
That doesn't tend to be the way that it's delivered.
I saw this.
I went onto the child free subreddit.
That's a dark place.
When Taylor Swift got engaged.
Meltdown.
They were not happy.
And there was some, I was like real impressed with most of the balance on there.
There was some insane ones.
One of the most insane ones was basically like,
I can't believe that she would get into a relationship with that monster, that animal,
like referring, because it made me the way they're.
he presents or what they think about his politics or whatever it might be. But yeah, people in the
same way as Adele's weight loss was a threat to the body positivity community, Taylor Swift's engagement
was a threat to the child-free community. Oh, it absolutely was. And the fact that now all these
things are coming out saying, oh, they're going to get married relatively quickly. Allegedly they want
to start a family. That's really important. But I also think, and this is something that was so funny
to me, is I talked about this, obviously, and I was, you know, reading those same comments in the same
posts and they were outlandish and absurd. But if you look at Taylor Swift's discography,
you look at her music, everything she's written, she always wanted. She's a romantic.
She is. Like, that's the thing. And they were like, she's betrayed us. I'm like, I don't think she
has. People mocked her for years because she went for boyfriend to boyfriend, but she wasn't
in, she didn't have any flings. Like, she was wholeheartedly in love with these guys, writing
these songs, I'm going to marry you, I'd marry you with paper rings. I'm still thinking about you
all these years later.
That's what she wants.
It's like, if you're not actually
been listening to her music,
have you just liked the fact that she,
I think that's what it comes down to,
is have you liked the fact
that she has been so unlucky in love?
Yes.
And it has made you feel better
about your situation,
and that has validated your choice.
And now you have to face the music, literally,
that she's happy
and she's finally gotten what she wants.
And I think another thing
that weaves into this conversation
about women is something that I do think
that has been,
harmful coming from more of the right wing
is this like women hit a wall conversation
obviously there is a biological clock
that you have to consider
but saying that a woman at 30 years old
has peaked has no future
no prospects can never have any children anymore
I think that's such a harmful thing to tell young women
especially if you're having if you have a woman
who's come up in the era of you know
the child free type folks of the Alex Cooper's
who then is having her mind change and is looking for something
and what she's hearing from so many prominent male voices,
I think they're less prominent now,
is that you're too old, you've hit a wall, you're ugly,
nobody will ever want you, you've screwed up your entire life.
It's like that's not the way to address that.
And I think Taylor Swift was kind of a middle finger to that movement as well
because she's 33 years old.
I'm going to bag one of the most eligible bachelors in America.
Yeah.
And she's happy and it worked.
And I look at, you know, Kelsey Ballerini and I understand, you know,
at 33 years old, she's going,
I don't have much time left,
but 10 years, obviously don't waste those.
But it's not like your 50.
Well, I think you should be,
I think you should be cautious
around the 10 years thing.
Yeah.
I think, I guess with...
Fertility treatments are great,
but even they are not, they're not magic.
I think it comes from personal.
My mom had me in 42.
Yes.
So it's like that's my...
My mom had me relatively late as well.
Yeah.
But still...
Facility is on a decline.
Correct.
Yeah.
I get the sense that,
and this is my least impressive strategy to fix the birth rate,
I think that Taylor Swift will have a non-zero impact on the West's birthright.
I think when she has kids, if she has kids,
I think that that causes a cascade of sufficient size,
that there will be a noticeable bump if you were to look at the sort of demographics of that.
I think there's sort of two, three, four years after that,
I think you are going to see a tick in that.
Well, and culture is shifting.
I mean, you have, you know, her, you have Kelsey Ballerini.
Millie Bobby Brown got married very young to Jake Bon Jovi, and they just adopted a baby less than a year after getting married.
And she's very open about, you know, this is everything she's ever wanted.
She's incredibly happy.
She's, you know, protecting this baby girl's privacy.
Timothy Shalame, very recently, was saying that he feels, how was he?
It was like he feels like it's, I'm trying to remember the exact word.
he used. But basically he was saying that it is very depressing when people talk about not wanting
children. He's surrounded by a lot of people who do have children and are starting families and he thinks
that's really wonderful. And he was essentially saying, I think it's a marker of a very sad society
if we are now saying that it's empowering to state that you're not going to have children and that you
don't care. So we're seeing these shifts. And I think that's one thing where I think conservatives are
better at this now, but where they've said, you know, ignore pop culture. We're not going to be
involved in that. It's like, no, these people do influence culture. They influence society.
They influence the attitudes, especially of young women who are far more emotional and who lean on these figures.
That's just an objective fact.
Who are more emotionally swayed.
Those are important changes.
And I think those are worth celebrating and looking into.
So I've had some people, when I've done episodes about that or talked about it, they said like, right, it doesn't matter.
I'm like, no, it does matter.
Well, I think this is where country music, speaking of which we're in Nashville, there's a Dylan Scott's song, can't have mine.
Find you a girl
Find you a girl that lives you speechless
Gets wild on the town but still loves Jesus
One that's worth the weight even when she ain't on time
Find you a girl that loves her daddy
And talking about babies makes her happy
Yeah take it from me
That's the kind you need to find
You just can't have mine
It's like I think country music is sort of still
You know like holding the fort
For the pro-family stuff
But I'm interested
Since the last time that we spoke
Your mum
Yes
How's that changed to you?
oh it's amazing um the first thing that comes to mind is that i give less of a fuck about things now
i think it radicalizes you in a way because so many other things in life seem less meaningful
because you have this incredible life that you've created and it truly and i i would hear
people say this after they have kids and i'd go okay i mean i understand it but really when you've
created this life. And when this baby comes out of you and is, you know, placed on your chest,
granted, I didn't have this feeling the moment that you was sort of my chest. I was like in shock.
But when you bring your baby home and you are settling in and you look at this life that you've
created, it's like, this is the only thing that matters. And for me, that has not transpired in a,
I am only going to be at home and I'm going to focus on you 100% of the time. I think it's fueled into
a lot of my work and the things that I talk about because it's like, okay, well, now I have this
child and I want to make this world as incredible as possible for him.
I want him to grow up in a world where he can debate ideas and where free speech is celebrated.
I want him to grow up in a world where he can start a family and own a home and be financially empowered.
I want him to have a great girl to fall in love with.
And Mary, I want all of those things.
So what can I do to try to make that happen with the platform that I have?
And so I think it's given me a fire under my ass in that regard.
I think it's softened me even more so than getting married has.
Did you find yourself having masculine traits, more masculine traits than the typical woman?
Yes, for sure.
I've always been very tomboyish and very like, I can do this myself.
I don't need you.
Which broke that more?
The marriage.
Marriage was the big ham.
That was the breaking the dam.
Right, yeah.
And then you become so vulnerable postpartum when you have, you know, this child and your hormones are just completely out of
The first two weeks are so hard. At least they work for me. And you just feel broken open. You
literally have been broken open. And you have this life that you're trying your hardest to protect.
Like, I just want to keep you alive. And you have to rely on other people. You can't do it all yourself.
I think that's why it's so damaging. This has been going on for decades at this point, telling women that you can have it all at
the same time. You can have the best career and the best sex life and the best marriage and you can be the mother and you can
travel and you can do all of the things all at once. That's the feminist messaging. That started
in the 80s. It's such a lie. You can have a lot. You can have most things in life. You can't have
them all at once. It's about priorities and you do have to make sacrifices. You have to lean on
other people. You have to admit you can't give 150% to everything at once. And I knew that,
but then actually being in the throes of that was eye-opening. And I think there's a lot of humility and
surrendering and, um, Mo, it's been wonderful. It's hard, but it's incredible. And I think
I'm having more fun than I've ever had. Like, it's so incredible. Like, you have this silly
little baby who just, like, babbles at you and laughs at you and is following everything that you do
and is tracking you. Every single day, there's something new that they're doing. It's like he started
like cooing now and he's trying to like mimic the things that we say and he'll, you know, grab on to
Alex's finger and we're like, oh my God, take a picture. This is so incredible. It just put
so many things into perspective. It was everything that I hoped it would be. I wonder how much
of what we're seeing with purposelessness, the chasing of random, some may say sort of seemingly
seemingly pointless hobbies and business pursuits and hustle and grind mindset and all the
rest of it is that child rearing energy just being directed to something where there isn't
a child around to be able to do it. I certainly, I think that's one of the things that people
see when somebody's got kids and maybe grandkids too, but are still playing the high school
status game thing, chasing the next business deal, like really, really aggressively, not just
because they want to build a better business, but because it, like, sort of fills their soul.
And you go, are you, you scored a goal and didn't realize that you'd won the game.
Yeah.
Like, you're looking past the thing that was the reason for doing this stuff, and you're still doing
the stuff.
Yeah.
Like, you run past the goalpost and you just haven't stopped.
Yep.
And there's something particularly, like, it feels sad to say.
see someone who basically got one-shotted in high school into playing the same status
games for the rest of their life and didn't realize that you were already outside of them
because the person that's 10 feet above you in the next bedroom, they don't care.
They think that you're a superhero, says the guy that's unmarried without kids at the moment.
Have you heard of laying in?
Do you know what this is from medieval times?
Is that like the 40 days postpartum?
Yes.
Yeah, it made me think about that.
In medieval times, laying in was a 40-day postpartum confinement period.
Yes.
Where a mother rested in a special room surrounded by women,
while her husband and male family members were excluded.
This period was crucial for recovery and was followed by a churching ceremony,
which marked the mother's reintegration into public life.
And the, like, frankly fucking barbaric maternity leave in America.
It's like nine months in the UK end-to-end,
which is still not enough
but is a little bit better
at least you can get your
fucking lying in period
laying in period
sorted but it made me think about
you said that you know
the two weeks after
I'm like I'm as useless
as he is
yes
um physically
emotionally
you don't even know
I mean I felt like I was in
a day so it's kind of good
I think biologically
you kind of forget it
like the further away
from it I get
I'm like oh it's it's
it was fine
but in the middle of it
like I genuinely
I haven't actually said this
but in the first few days after he was born,
I wondered whether we had made the right decision
in having a baby at that moment.
What was the emotion that you were feeling?
Just being so overwhelmed.
Being in pain and uncomfortable
and being like I couldn't,
you know, your baby just wants to be fed, wants to be held,
needs to poop, needs to sleep.
But it's, you know, they can't communicate.
So it's like, okay, I want to try all these different things.
Like, what do you need?
And it was after a very particularly, like, frustrating afternoon.
And I was in pain.
I was in gorge.
I was uncomfortable.
I was standing in the shower.
And it was like your one place of peace.
I was like, Alex, okay, I'm going to go give me 30 minutes.
And hopefully he doesn't cry and need me.
Because I wasn't pumping.
So literally, he just required everything.
And I was standing in the shower.
And I was like, I have never felt so oversimulated and overtouched and exhausted.
That was something I didn't expect where it was.
Especially given that you've already had the chaotic.
life business lady culture war on stage rah rah yeah that just being and I expected I almost
felt guilty because I was like I've always wanted this and I want this baby to want me and I want
to hold him and be with him but after five days of basically having 30 minutes of not touching him
or not having somebody touch me it was like can I just go sit at a coffee shop for like an hour
and just drank a macha and decompressed for a second.
So that was surprising to me, but thankfully it didn't last.
I think that's a cool lesson, just to interject that.
I think it's a cool lesson to hear that you cannot like your baby for half an hour in the shower.
You can be like, dude, you fucking suck today.
I still love you.
I don't love you any less, but I don't like you right now.
I mean, you've been a lot today, okay?
You've been a lot.
And it's hard because I think in a really great, beautiful way, and I understand the reason for this.
You know, some of people, especially more traditional, conservative right, will say it is this magical thing.
Breastfeeding is so magical, all these things.
And it is.
And it's wonderful and it's remarkable.
But when you are in the throes of it, sometimes you're like, this is, like, my body's going through a lot.
It denies the reality of discomfort.
Yes.
You know, I can.
And the discomfort is part of what makes it so incredible is because you are sacrificing and because
you're doing something that's so incredibly hard for the benefit of this tiny human that can't live
without you. But to just say that it's all rainbows and sunshine and that it's going to immediately
or immediately going to be insane and it's immediately going to be so wonderful. That was just more
of a shock to my system. I mean, even like right when he came out, there's a photo of Alex and I,
as he was like placed on my chest, we're looking at him. And it's kind of like in horror because,
you know, their heads come out and they're kind of in a cone shape. He's all blue because he had
kind of struggled at the end there. Both of us are like, oh my God. Like it was.
It's just like, oh, he's here.
Like, this is crazy.
Then it was not the, like, really romantic, like, oh, this is wonderful.
But, no, the sacrifices and the hardships are, I think, actually, what gets me through those harder moments
because you know that it's worthwhile.
You know, you're doing something that is, you know, in pursuit of, you know, you're molding a human being.
I feel like there isn't anything that is more valuable than that.
Well, I can extol the virtues of VO2 Max training.
all I want
during the middle of a workout
nobody wants to be there
nobody is enjoying it
and the fact that nobody is enjoying it
is exactly what makes it meaningful
you realize that there are very few things
that are worthwhile having
or that are meaningful
that aren't hard to get
if it was super easy and seamless
to raise the child
that would be wonderful and beautiful
and convenient
but there would be less meaning in it
because the meaning is derived
from the struggle
yes it's a great idea from Freud
he says in retrospect
the struggle will
strike you was most beautiful.
Yeah.
And that is where the meaning comes from, because if it was easy, you would have to put
less of yourself into it, right?
Because you would be distra- well, you know, I'll just answer a few emails over it.
It's like, no, no, no, no, no.
23.5 hours of this day.
It's completely that.
Yeah, all I do is like, do not die.
Like, for the fuck, for fuck's sake, do not die.
I've worked so hard.
Yep.
And going back to the maternity leave issue, you know, some people in America will get, you know,
30 days, three months, we're coming up on three months and I'm in a very unique position where
my studio where I film is five minutes from my house. I drive the four-wheeler over there and I go
shoot. I'm like filming on my phone right now. I don't even have a producer. Yeah, I've been watching.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And because I'm just doing it myself because I wanted to be able to be on his
schedule. And I'm very, very fortunate to be able to do that. That is not the case for most
women, and I'm very aware of that. And so I would not have been able, if I was still working for
a company where I'm on somebody else's schedule, that would, I would not be able to be doing this.
And I did, but the 40-day lion, I did, I guess it's probably the Americanized version of it because
they know the fast food equivalent. I did the, yeah, the race. But no, it's the 5-5-5. So it's
five days in bed. You're fully in bed in the covers. Five days on your bed. So you're really not
leaving. Like, you only get up to, like, go to the bathroom, grab some food.
Okay.
You're not lifting everything. You're not doing anything.
Okay.
And then five days near your bed. So you're not really going out into...
How did you feel...
For the hyper-independent-driven boss ladies, how...
And I'm aware that you were able to go back to work more quickly or whatever, but those 15 days, that's a big change.
Oh, yeah.
Right?
What was the...
Internal
hungry ghost drive.
It was extremely hard.
Talk to me about that.
That need for productivity
during pregnancy and post-pregnancy.
Yes, especially because I'd been so productive
throughout my entire pregnancy.
I found out I was pregnant
for four days after it was announced
I was living Daily Wire.
So then my entire pregnancy
was starting a business,
building a show,
hire people, figure out how to hire people, figure out how to assemble a business, find advertisers, do an entire tour, pitch different things, get all of these projects under my belt so that then I could have this baby. And we're going to do all of this in like the nine and a half months that we have. So it was a sprint. And so to go up against that wall and then again have to completely surrender and be so vulnerable. It was very hard. I remember my mom talking to me very delicately before I gave birth and she was really the one who pushed me to do that.
And I didn't. I probably could have done it better. I could have stayed in bed more. But I think
I did a pretty good job for me. And she was like, this is probably going to be one of the hardest
things that you do. It might even be harder than you actually delivering the baby is that you
have to just give your time, yourself time to rest. Because the wound, when your uterus contracts
and when you deliver your placenta, it's like this big. You just have a gaping wound in your
stomach. And you need time to heal and you need to not be pushing your body. And she sat me down
and was like, you need to do this for yourself because you have so many things that you need to do
afterwards. You have this huge life and you have commitments that you've made. And you are not going
to be able to function at the level that you want to function at and be the wife that you want to be
and the mom and keep working if you do not give yourself time to actually heal. And so I was very
grateful that she had that conversation, but it was really hard. I'm just not used to that. I'm so go, go, go, go, go. And the thing is, I did do a little bit of work, which was not intended, but Charlie was assassinated four days after our baby was born. And, I mean, that was just horrifying in and of itself, but to be so emotionally and hormonally fraught already, it was just like, I don't even know how to, it's all just a blur at this point. But I got up and I did,
two episodes about it. Granted, I went upstairs to our guest bedroom and sat in front of a window
and didn't have a script or do anything and I just talked and then immediately went back downstairs
and I was away from him for about 10 minutes in total. But I did, I guess, emotional and intellectual
labor in that regard. But no, it was very, it was hard. And I can't imagine, I mean, I have friends
that have had babies around the same time that I have in the second. And the second.
that they're making the decisions that they're making about their careers and whether they're going to go back to work and how they're going to go back to work and what daycare looks like and weaning and breastfeeding. It is very, very difficult. But I think people, again, especially on the right in more of a, in an effort to just say, you know, we need to fix the birth rate. Everybody should have babies. It's so incredible. It's so wonderful. I think they focus on just like have the baby. Do it. Do it.
do it, do it without really getting into the logistics of what that looks like for most women.
Most women work in America.
Most women need to work in America or want to work, which is great.
Majority of women, even if you argue that it would be better if they were completely at home and didn't work, they are going to be working.
They are done to have any choice.
And so what is that going?
Or they want to, which is, you know, totally valid.
What is that going to look like for them and what kind of support do we have for them?
that's something that actually I think J.D. can do a great job at if he runs is that he's a bit more populist in that regard and he's very pro-family. And even though I lean more in the direction of I kind of want the government hands off, let the free market decide, I do think it's like what can we do for families? If we're saying we need to increase the birth rate, if we want people to get married and live happy lives and have children and raise good productive, you know, members of society, what can we do to support?
that rather than just saying, just quit your job. Everything's great. Just have they figure it out.
Because it is hard. And I don't, again, I don't know what the right solution is for that. So many
countries have tried different things of, you know, we're going to give you a little bit of money here.
Tax break. You know, all that. None of them have been supremely successful.
Possibly because it does come back to cultural attitudes.
In a way, that's why we need Taylor Swift.
Exactly.
There was this really cool example.
The country of Georgia, I think, is highly Christian.
And there is this pastor there who is like the rock star, rock star pastor.
Everybody loves him, adores him.
And they had a cultural intervention for their birth rate, which worked.
And what he said was, I will personally baptize the third child of any family.
And then there was literally this speed run race for all.
all families to have. Another interesting one, you were talking earlier on about young people who
do everything that the government told them that they should do and that their elders told them
they should do and have now arrived in this world and gone, oh, fuck, like the future that I was promised
hasn't come to pass. This is one of the explanations that I've heard, which is really interesting
for why South Korea's birth rate is so low. So what they had was they allowed women to get into,
education without some of the constraints and ceilings that had been placed on them,
like authoritatively, authoritarianly, and culturally.
So they put girls into the classroom and, as I think it's pretty uncontroversial to say,
now, girls perform better in the current education model, more conscientious, better at sitting still,
less is disruptive, rah, rah, rah, like, highlighted girls, like very, very good, well done.
And what that meant was from being constrained to being fully enabled, they just blew past a lot of the boys.
The employment world had not had the same cultural revolution that the education world had.
So these young girls gone through the education system, maybe into higher education, and then came out the other side to still find the same discrimination in employment.
And that was where the four bees movement, at least has been contributed to, which is like four different words.
in Korean which are like no men
no this, no babies, no something else
no something else. No men, no sex, no babies,
no marriage, whatever it is. Yeah, yeah.
Shaving their heads.
Hardcore feminism, but for South Korea.
And that is
this promise that has been made
that is not delivered. And I think
the indignation that people feel
of, fuck, like I
did what you said.
Like I did what you said. I followed the rules
and someone came and screwed
me over, you just need to look at South Korea, the women in South Korea that are a part of
that movement and tangential, you know, that's kind of militant, but like even the light version,
the mild version of that. And one of the interventions that's super interesting, K-pop. So
K-pop stars, when they join the groups, one of the agreements that they make is that they will
not date, and obviously as a byproduct of that, they cannot get pregnant. They can't have
a family. So you have the biggest cultural export from one country and also obviously
the biggest cultural influence inside of a country, never being pro family, ever. And what does
that mean? It creates. It would be like if Taylor Swift made her, signed away her contract
at the beginning of her music career saying that she's never, and also none of the songs
are around having families, none of the songs are around heartbreak. So an obvious cultural
intervention for South Korea to fix the birth rate is allow women to get what they want
in, I mean, you should do that in any case, regardless of whether or not it's got to do with
the birth rate. But then also, say, if you want to be a K-pop star, you have to have had one
child. Yeah. The only way that you can become a K-pop star is to do that. That's interesting.
And that's my campaign for South Korea to turn them into Georgia without a pastor.
Excellent. That's my plan. And we have Taylor Swift. Yeah, we do.
And fingers crossed. What's next? What's next? What's next?
Oh, gosh. Try to be a good mom. It was the number one thing. Keep him alive. And I think keep my show going. I love what I'm doing. I've never had more fun with my work. And it took a while to get there. The last year was really hard. Felt really long. It took a long time to get to being able to be independent and start my own thing. And then it also...
I think it took a lot of stumbling around to figure out what did I actually want to do independently and what was going to work, what was going to make me happy.
I think I rejected initially a lot of what I had been doing because I was like, no, I'm going to walk away from this.
I'm not going to do this type of show.
I want to say completely different because I was unhappy, but was I unhappy with the work I was doing or was I unhappy in the situation?
I just took a while to figure out and I feel like I stumbled around a bit.
And so I'm really grateful that I have such a wonderful community and audience who stuck with me and enjoyed the ride and yeah. And we tried basically every single thing under the sun. And I feel really, really at peace and flexible. And like I have a lot of autonomy and I'm having a ton of fun. Being a mom, I'm having a ton of fun with the work that I'm doing. I feel like it's meaningful and I'm enjoying it. I've loved doing a live.
shows. That was my first time doing it this spring. I know you're on your tour right now. That was
like undescribable. It's sick, isn't it? Yeah. It's incredible. What does your live show look like?
What's it consist of? It is like a live version of my show, but many topics, other than just
being one thing that I'm talking about. I go up on stage and I just riff on things going on the world
and some of my favorite people to talk about. I didn't really know what it was going to be like.
I was just like, let's do a tour. I'm just giving up on stage. I want to talk. But it ended up becoming
more like stand-up
and I feel very insecure saying that
because that is like
oh, she's a comic
I'm like no, no, I don't think so
but that is sort of the format
of what it's become and it's...
The exact, it's very similar to mine
I think Justin agrees
yes, yeah, he agrees about
what we're both doing. Yeah, it's
a weird one that pivot
you're walking a...
Look, I understand, I feel like I need to make this
to disclaimer any time that I say it.
Some of the things that
I say on stage may make some people laugh, but I must, I feel like another land acknowledgement
is important. This is not stand-up. I'm aware that that is a protected term. And if you encroach
on the comedian's hallowed ground of the word stand-up, because unless you've done seven years
of slumming it in gigs and all the rest of it, people don't like the idea of anyone jumping
to the front of a queue. Yeah, of course. And I wouldn't want, I'm like, I don't feel like I'm doing
that. No. But if something that you say makes someone laugh,
you're just having fun. You're talking to your audience and, no, it's really special. I don't know how you feel about it, but when you've spent, so I was, been on YouTube now three or four years, and when you've spent those years looking at numbers and seeing like, oh, okay, this many people watch this. And, you know, I had four million subscribers at this point and you have all of these, you know, numbers, but actually seeing people in person and putting faces to numbers is what I like to say and doing like the meet and greets at the end.
It's crazy.
it's like undescribable and it's it's like very gratifying too when I meet the people that
come to the shows and engage with my content I'm like you're all great people like this is really
cool I would happily go for a coffee with most of my audience yeah which is something that I know
most most creators can't say which is pretty cool but I think the meta lesson to take away from
that for anybody that's trying to do anything build a business let's say that you I don't know you
have a vintage clothing store and it's online and you're sourcing all of these great pieces and you're selling
him on Deepop or you're doing whatever on eBay, but you never see people in your clothes.
You don't see how it gives them more confidence or how fucking cool they look or all the compliments.
And even if you do, it's this disembodied fucking email, a 2D image or whatever, but if you were to do an in-person meetup where you would bring like this month's hole and all of these people would be able to come and it would be your superfans or or you're a PT, an online coach or whatever, doing an in-person event.
I think for me the reason that I now understand why musicians and comedians have such an obsession with tour
is that the feedback mechanism is so tight.
Like this episode might go out in like four weeks time.
And then so the feedback period is fucking a life, an eon away.
And then when it goes out, loads of people that see it don't react to it.
And of the people who react to it, they do it through comments.
And then it's only if you look at the car, it's like so, the bandwidth is, yeah, it's so
minute.
Whereas you go on stage and you make a joke about a train and like that, immediately
a thousand people get to hear noise or do something or you tell a story that hopefully
is real engaging and it's fucking just silent and everyone's paying attention.
And you think, oh, this is really cool.
So I understand why and I think the sort of lesson I've taken away from tour, at least this
tour is trying to inject that real world stuff into things that you do where you think,
I love what I do, but I feel like I need a bit more motivation for it.
If you try and find a way to take that AFK, the sort of touch grass equivalent of that,
touch of the people, but legally, that would be, I think, a good way to do it.
You can do more, more tour?
Yes.
Yeah, next year.
I'm excited.
Sick.
All right.
Brett Cooper, ladies and gentlemen, Brett, I really appreciate you.
You're awesome.
Thanks for having me.
I get asked all the time for book suggestions. People want to get into reading fiction or nonfiction or real life stories. And that's why I made a list of 100 of the most interesting and impactful books that I've ever read. These are the most life-changing reads that I've ever found. And there's descriptions about why I like them and links to go and buy them. And it's completely free. And you can get it right now by going to chriswillex.com slash books. That's chriswillex.com slash books.
Thank you.
