Modern Wisdom - #228 - Daniel Sloss - The Biggest Lessons From 2020

Episode Date: October 5, 2020

Daniel Sloss is a comedian. 2020 has been chaotic to say the least. Daniel joins me to break down his biggest lessons from a year without comedy shows, Netflix Specials or the adoration of 1000's of strangers. Expect to learn why Daniel started going to therapy, his advice for couples who struggled during lockdown, the challenges of life slowing down, how to deal with a catastrophic ego and much more... Sponsor: Check out everything I use from The Protein Works at https://www.theproteinworks.com/modernwisdom/ (35% off everything with the code MODERN35) Extra Stuff: Follow Daniel on Twitch - https://www.twitch.tv/daniel_sloss  Check out Daniel's Website - https://danielsloss.com/  Follow Daniel on Twitter - https://twitter.com/Daniel_Sloss  Get my free Ultimate Life Hacks List to 10x your daily productivity → https://chriswillx.com/lifehacks/ To support me on Patreon (thank you): https://www.patreon.com/modernwisdom - Get in touch. Join the discussion with me and other like minded listeners in the episode comments on the MW YouTube Channel or message me... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chriswillx Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/chriswillx YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/ModernWisdomPodcast Email: https://www.chriswillx.com/contact  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oh hello my people, welcome back. My guest today is none other than Scottish person, comedian and friend of the show Daniel Sloss. He was playing a new castle at the stand and stopped by for a quick tea and a socially distance podcast on his way down. This is the first in-person podcast I've done in seven months and it felt so much better. I'm happy, I record over Skype, I will keep the show ticking over,

but fuck me, it's so much better to actually be in a room with someone talking like normal humans. Daniel had a bit of a tough year. He's had unbelievable success over the last 18 months, last two years or so. And that all kind of came crashing down when the world stopped. And weirdly enough, I went for lunch with him in March, just before all of this happened.

And the six month period in between then and now has been a rollercoaster of emotions, including him starting therapy, beginning meditating, suffering quite a lot with some ego depletion and depression and a bunch of other things. This is a very different Daniel to the one that I sat down with 18 months ago when I first met him, but I actually think it's very much for the benefit of his well-being long term. And hopefully a lot of the things that he talks about today will

resonate with you. If someone who has millions of adoring fans all over the world can struggle when a global pandemic hits, it's kind of reassuring for the normies amongst us, right? Like if Daniel struggles, then it kind of gives us more license to and he has some really nice lessons that he's got out of it, some relationship advice as you would expect from the man behind Jigsaw. Yeah, today is just, it's so sick. I really, really enjoy spending time with him and his new books out next year, so we'll get him on a gain when that is up. If you enjoy this episode, please send it to a friend. That is the best way that you can support the show. The only way that it grows is by people like you sending it to people like you.

This might have been how you were introduced to the show in the first place. Someone said, oh, you listen, a podcast, you should check out this guy. Be that guy or girl for another guy or girl. Just put it in a group chat, send it to someone. And it might actually help them reframe what they should have learned from 2020. But for now, it's time for the wise and Scottish Daniel Sluss!

There's no audience. Oh, that hasn't been. There's no audience anywhere. No, there's no audience. How is it being a comedian during a pandemic? Tell me about it. I mean, it wasn't. It's fine now, it's good now. Some gigs are slowly starting to break back for the past month and a half I've had. Well, it got close to 20 gigs and those have been really nice

because even though it's much, much smaller crowds than been used to especially in the past two years, it feels like being four or five years into comedy again. Like, it's, you know how there's some people out there who go, I've never go back to high school and there's other people, I'd love to go back to high school with the knowledge I have now. It's kind of like that, man, like I get to go smaller audiences, ones that I would use to play into seven or eight years ago, but now I just get to play to them with this. I don't know, this wealth of experience that I have, but it's fun. I'm sort of relearning bits of standard as well and relearning skills that I've had to use for years, and that's been

positive, but it's taken six fucking months to get there. Do you feel out of sorts? Do you feel like you had the offseason yips when you got back into it? Um, a little bit. It was the first time I did it. It was the first time a long time that I'd been nervous. Why were you nervous? Because I lost all of myself worth during the fucking lockdown. You know, suddenly going, you know, I've had a very, very good career. But especially in the past two years has been immensely. Yeah, intense man, Netflix came out and you go from playing 400 to 3,000, see it rooms.

And it's an 18 month tour that takes 300 shows and it's all very exciting and for the past 10 years, all of my confidence, all of myself worth all of who I am, I have gotten from the love and approval of strangers, and it's been brilliant for the past 10 years. It's been absolutely great. It's a very strong scaffolding to live your life upon for as long as it's still there. For as long as it's still there. So it was a, if you imagine my life as a, my personality who I am, who being a fucking jenga, tell me. When you, someone's just coming at the very bottom. I, and took all three and went, do you need these? No!

And the power fucking got, but obviously in that such wide edge, what they tried to do was to try and prop the fucking tower back up. What did you prop it up with? Just, I mean for the first two months, it was back because I'd been so desperate for a time off for so long. I saw you, I think two days after you got back, we went for lunch in Edinburgh and that was like the middle of March, it was two days before lockdown came in, sorry, before Americans weren't allowed to go back to America. And that was like the middle of March. It was two days before lockdown came in. Sorry, before America and weren't allowed to go back to America. And I remember because the chick that I was with in Edinburgh had left me at 4 a.m. And I'm like, is this actually just all a big no,

no, no, no, no, I'm sure that I'm sure that that was what the truth was. And so I'd seen you and you were like, like, this is lovely, but still even then, only two days after you'd finished. In the back of your head, you had this Australia tour and the book, which we're going to get into but still even then only two days after you'd finished in the back of your head You had this Australia tour and the book which we're gonna get into and even then you were already kind of putting yourself into that Well, because I've always got that so like I whenever I bad time off It's always been like I've got this next month off and I know after that I'm on two or for another six weeks. I'm on two or for another six months So it's I was really good at cramming my time off, like I would feel like, right, over the next month, I'm doing shit haul, I'm setting in, I've been back, I'm playing Xbox or day, and I'm smoking weed every second of every of my existence, because

I've earned this, I work for those months, this is my time off, I've got this job coming up then, and it's, where does this didn't feel like time off, this felt like fucking unemployment. Like it felt like just suddenly like in a time when like the people were throwing words around key workers or like, crucial workers and you're like, fuck, I'm so pointless to the world. There's no like, hi. The point this work is that. Like yeah, and it says it's comedian, it's the blast, why don't you go fuck,

we're dead, we're not needed right now. And there's, and yeah, and I was just, I couldn't, I couldn't handle the time off because it just, it just had a nagging voice in the back of my head going, this isn't time off, you're not doing anything like this isn't, you know, there isn't a tour in two months that you're going to get money from, there't that fucking, you know, uh, show that you need to be working on because there's no audience. And, uh, it took me a while to sort of realise what was going to go, I was just, man, uh, smoking weed, living my life, bothering my poor girlfriend, just like fucking tap and prown the show, and they'd be like, hey,

hey, feel the fucking void. I need you to love me as much as 2000 strange, just doing a regular basis. You're busy, sorry, Hagar. And, eh. So, by the way, also, like, kind of glad it happened, because, I had to really look long and hard in the fucking mirror. Because I've been, I've been Daniel Sloss for, it's intensely for like the past 18 months, and then I was just, Daniel. Yeah, Daniel.

Alright, and I'm a fucks dad. Yeah, I've not met him since he was a 17-year-old who was just fucking, you know, insecure in high school who was starting to do stand-up as a hobby and there was only like the slight hopes in the back of his head that you might be able to make money out of it one day and, uh, fuck, he doesn't have any hobbies. He's a boring guy. He's got so fucking boring. Because I didn't have, because my life was so intensely stand up all the time.

Like I didn't need hobbies. You weren't even writing, going out to do things to find material for the next show because the next show wasn't going to happen at any point soon. Yeah, and normally I just got to go to the next city. I get to meet people like drink, I do drugs, I fucking party, I live the life and that's, you know, and then suddenly I'm just in my house just going, I get to meet people like drink, I do drugs, I fucking party, I live the life and that's you know, and that's how I'm just going fucking what do I do? I don't have any interest, I can tell you about only hobby was marijuana, so yeah. But what was really nice I did start discovering like not parts of myself that I'd sort of suppressed, but sparse myself that, I don't know, when I was a teenager I wasn't

confident enough to enjoy them. But like, fucking D&D man. You really? Oh, God. Online, or? My, all of, I'm the bit, I love nerd shit. The, the, the, the, why I was today, I spent in the fucking games, like a poor game shop, just fucking, we even notebooks, I did buy notes and I was like, this is where I belong. With my people. With my fucking people, people that I had to know. These mouth-breathing neck-bearded in cells over here. But I, but because I've been, no man, there's notes in the pants, that's for sure. So, you know, so I just ended up talking to the one other place just about comic books and stuff for a bit.

So I got to do, I don't know, I got to start DMing sessions, I'm a dungeon master, so I got to do that with a bunch of friends. Alright, yeah, yeah, yeah. And through Zoom. Zoom. Through Zoom, yes, and man, a lot of fun and like, just like, just like, just doing like, archaeology on the old me and being like, I wonder if this still Texts my personality like is this thing I enjoy when I was 17 still fit in there Already it is some of it still there and it's my it's been good to thanks to I mean thanks to fucking therapy and meditation and whatnot It's been a lot easier now infinitely happier than I'm glad we didn't do this in a few four months ago

You're crying weeping mess in the corner I I said it before months ago. Yeah, we're crying weeping mess in the corner. I. Do you think that if it wasn't for the fact that you're talented and have been blessed with some like semi-ok good looks that you would really, really struggle in life? Because Dungeons and Dragons, the we, like you have the makings of a really like successful insult. No. But you've managed to like get past that. Oh, I think I would have, man, had I not discovered comedy, I would have, I would have

absolutely been a fucking right-wing internet fucking troll. From the bottom of it, I truly fucking had I not discovered comedy, I would have been one of the, I would have been a fucking pro, boy, man. You and Gavin again. Yeah, man, if I fucking, if I hadn't, like, gotten to comedy, to comedy and had this world where I just got to meet so many different people from so many different backgrounds and get to travel the world and experience things, I would have absolutely been one of them. It's hard being a white man, like that would have been me, because I would have had nothing else to put it into. It would have just been,

cause I'm quite an angry teenager and then, I mean, I've still got some anger within me. Well, we all do, but, you know, I got to, I got to put that anger into standup. I could have put it into the performance. All this stuff I had, there was an outlook for it. And thank God, because if it hadn't been it, would it just been, I would have shot up a school, man.

Ha ha. It's, it's interesting that people who don't have that outlet and don't find something in life, I think, struggle with like their internal monologue and one of the interesting comments Douglas Murray made on a show that I do do them recently was he's adamant that the people who have the most extreme views on the left and the right have never travelled. So it's because as soon as you travel and you start to meet people from different cultures, you realize like that actually really far. I want to know like a Japanese person like they're fucking sick and like yeah Chinese government probably needs a bit of work.

But like you meet some people from China and you're like fuck like this is awesome and you're I mean. Oh this when you get to travel you see the humanity that is so common across the world you go here's all these people that you know they're so different to who I am and then you just see a mummy yelling at a child and you go well that's how my mummy yelled at me how we're all the same we are literally we're all the same fucking species we're just born in different parts and yeah I think it's and I think I think it's such an important thing to travel, but it's such an unfortunate thing that it's something that you have to have money to do. Imagine if you'd not had this kind of like weed sabbatical break from doing your comedy and perhaps you further layered more and more and more and more

life and ego have you considered this the the the the um stools being turned upside down a little bit and you're balancing it on one leg and then you know do you remember Tom and Jerry which and when they did like the the fridge would be balanced on top of a fork upside down on the floor and then did it yeah yeah yeah and that that's kind of what would have happened had it have been 40 year old Daniel, 50 year old Daniel, like coming to the end of his career and then being like 17 year old Daniels still in here by the way, dickhead. I, well, the eagle would have become, I mean, that's a straffin. Yes.

And, and I say that as somebody who's eagle two years ago would have been described by some of my friends as cat-destructed. You know, a lot of the arrogant things I used to say, and still sometimes say, like a lot of the time I go, oh, my tongue is firmly in my cheek, and upon further reflection now, that fucking wasn't. I was just, it was this sort of disguise of, hey, if I acknowledge how hard I can, I am, that I'm going to try and pass that off as self-awareness and irony. Because even last year, I remember part of the show that you were doing, that you were touring on quite heavily, was breaking the fourth wall about this way that you are with

yourself, like my charisma is built around the this thing. So you are right, it's a level of self- self awareness, but it's also only like about that thick. It's a veneer that allows you to make a proxy for like self awareness, but you're right without doing the real work. It's like when people do ironic racism, you go, I, but you, even though you're doing it ironically, you still want to say those things.

Like that's not, you know what, maybe you say them with malice or hate and a wherever, but there's still a deep, it comes from an ignorant-written and and fearful fucking place It's the same as the the people who are the most vehemently anti-gay They're the ones who are the most aroused when you put them in an MRI and work at a play-gay pony in front of them Who can't switch off the arousal? But like the lady-doth protest too much. I sort of keep ahead

the arousal bits were like the lady-doth protest too much. I sort of keep ahead. How much have you been able to create content then? Is a pandemic like a gold mine for content or is it quite difficult to turn COVID-19 into something funny? It's been a lot. I have the worst internet connection in the world. I live in a part of Edinburgh, which for some reason, it's just people, my download speed is seven megabits per second and my upload speed is

0.2. Can't do anything. Can't do anything and then the pandemic and that all. Sorry, first down. So, I really wanted to get into, I've got so many friends that are really good at streaming on Twitch and it seems to be a good, it just seemed like it's something fun to do during the month and I thought, well, I've been playing a bit of games. Like people enjoy watching me talk

for whatever fucking reason. Like I start doing a thing on Instagram Live which is just day drinking with Dan because I was day drinking anyway. And people were like, what are you up to? And I was like, this, so I just sit and get drunk and the day I just go live. And it's one of the weird things that

happens in this fucking life but like I think the average viewership while it was live was about 1200 people but if they would get like 50,000 views altogether you go why are people watching you get pissed but they are blessed that people yeah and enjoy for reason, me ranting about things that I'm semi-passionate about, but then pretending to be really enraged by the people enjoy watching. And I felt like I could do that on Twitch, but I just don't have this fucking internet connection. It's finally happening now. I promise you I have the most, and I'll tell you off camera, I have the most expensive internet connection in the UK. Available for the bar and a. And it's still not in yet, but I hope to.

It just seems so interesting to me because it's, I think everyone only knows it is this sort of gaming platform, but having watched what people like, like, let me is able to do one in, if people are doing different sort of shows on it and cooking shows. It's just a new platform. And I think in the next year or two, one comedian is going to do one thing on Twitch into the rest of us are going to go, oh, there we go, that's it. That's the one. And the good thing about Twitch is it's a direct relationship between you and your audience. You don't have anyone from the BBC who hasn't stepped foot in a comedy club in the past seven years, being like, hey, hey, hey, we know you're great and we know you've got all these fans, but let us tell you what we think you're a fan's watch. Do I watch comedy? No, no, I don't. Am I the

head of calm? Yes, I am. That's me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm desperate for any world, but I don't have to work with a fucking BBC or any shit like that again. So, Twitch seems to be the... I had a with a fucking BBC or any shit like that again. So Twitch seems to be there. I had a porn star, so that's where you were. Not long ago, Sienna. She was talking about, she's been in the game for a little while, maybe like eight years, and she was talking about the transition from the typical porn model, working for browsers or fake taxis, or whoever it might be, and getting paid, like, okay, but they don't get mental money compared with how much they make. And then only fans came along, and in myme.vip came along and they were able to

have direct creator to fan like interaction the ability to get tipped and and make money and she has decentralized and taking complete ownership of her own earning potential and now she uses browsers and fake taxi as the front end of her funnel to be like, I know this will get four million plays on pornhood. Then some percentage of those people will find me, then some percentage of those people will join my own funds. And now she's making like 10 grand a week, doing what she was doing in any case,

but doesn't have to leave a house. I have to renovate a room and it'll like, there's probably glitter everywhere, you know, and like feather boars around, I imagine, and lots of rubber things. But like other than that, she's now completely in control and it seems a little bit like every different industry is trying to find its niche for that.

Like even eSports has gone from it being eSports getting paid by perhaps winnings and competitions to now Twitch decentralized you to consumer and it seems like comedians perhaps might go the same way. I mean, plenty of comedians are, there's some comedians who are really, really good to them. Lavoris had Lemme, his, I watch his Twitch all the time, he's so good on it, he installs on it, Twitch as well, get a gala through it, does, it just, just plays scary games in the dark, he's one of the kids who are on the world. And it's great, it's great to watch somebody who hates

scary games, play scary games and you get to scare them during it as well, you can like, you know, because there's so many of these interaction things that I'm starting with. Also, you can send in like a ghost or whatever to go and do it. No, no, no, we, because it was, because you could, so if you bid like 500, he has to play it in the dark with the headphones on and then you can use bits to just shrieking his ear randomly. So it'll just be a bit intense and you can just, yeah. But it's that sort of, it's the funniest thing.

He shits his pants all the time and he gets so visibly angry. It's so fun to watch. And yeah, I'm really inspired watching people like, like, Gareth and let me do these things. Well, fact, there is, you know, don't be wrong, I love stand-up and stand-up regardless of whatever form it exists and I will always do it, that is my, it's what I was put on this earth, the fucking dough, but if I could earn money from playing a pubic game to be in a deck, I'm gonna do that as well. Why didn't you decide to do Zoom comedy shows?

There was talk at the beginning of the year. And that's not my fucking job. But you could have, I don't know, stayed in contact with fans, remain like earned a bit of money, I don't know. I do, I've got a real issue with taking money off my fans. Like the fact that I have considered, one of the very few things that made my age

and butt heads over is ticket prices and stuff. I think comedy should be affordable all times. I tell any comedian that charge is fucking over 100 quid to ticket, I understand why you're doing it, but I think it's dishonest. Like you don't get to go on stage and fucking pretend to be an every man and try and relate to these people when you know you're going, give me, give me two weeks worth of your fucking money. And I've always had a problem. It's the same reason I don't sell merch. I know I need to get past it, but to me it just feels like, why am I taking it? You've

already given me some of your money. I don't want to take anything more for you. I'm doing well already. I don't need it. I've got real, yeah just guilt when it comes to that shit, um, wearings and also I'm in charge of my fucking life. My fans do not get to dictate a single part of what I create, what I do and that's how it works. It's, uh, you know, I don't, I create shows that I want to do, I want to do made people laugh, but occasionally people have like, you've had all this time of people going, why don't you do your fucking podcast? I'm sorry, can't, what do I fucking owe you? What do I owe you? Be or nothing, I owe you nothing. The years I'm about to drop a name here, but David Schwimmer, he, after the

going contact, after my Netflix specialist came out because he's a massive comedy fan and I was doing a show in LA and it was my first show since having bid on Netflix and it was at the improv and it was, you know, there's a real buzz when I went on stage and I was trying to hang out with him afterwards and I just kept going off and people were like, can I get a phone, can I get a phone? I was like, yeah, of course, cause I'm like, please, everyone and I'm so grateful for this.

I'm just a one of just hanging out with fucking David and drinking with them and talking and stuff and I keep getting pulled away and I keep saying yes. And eventually, two people finally recognized him and they were like, we got a phone, you're like, yeah, no. And they were sort of taking it back. And he just kept on to me and they were like, no, I appreciate that you're a fan of my work.

I'm very grateful. But no, I'm talking to my friend, I'm spending time with my friend and I was like, how the fuck did you do that? And he was like, he was like, man, I'm so obviously grateful with by it, but I don't all my, I don't know the benefit of beyond what I create, beyond what I do. Like it's fancy and amazing and it's brilliant to have them, but the second that you feel you all then, something, then the relationship changes and then you resent them. And he's like, and I don't want to resent people that love me. That's not a nice healthy relationship.

Do you think that that is a little bit of a manifestation, again, what you said about perhaps that feelings of self-worth coming through? I need to continue to please these people a little bit. I'm not sure if I'm worthy of their support, therefore, I need to, the person who doesn't love the girlfriend anymore, but is terrified of breaking up with her, because deep down, he's not sure if he's worthy. I don't know how it managed for you. Maybe, maybe. And I think also like I, I'm, yeah, I'm so desperate to please people that if I give them the chance to ask me for something, I know I'll do it.

So, so I don't want to give my fans the ability to answer for something because I don't want to feel obligated to them because I will. Don't start an only fan, son. And the way up, I've got a sad, I love like, Cork. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, and did people get sad when they found out that you got a girlfriend, that,

that army of singletons that you created with Jigsaw, did they feel like they're leader at betrayed them? Uh, some of the ones that didn't pay attention to a word of the show did, yes, absolutely. But my, you know, people who, man, I, like, the reason I also don't go into my DMs on Instagram that much is because, man, Jigsaw and Dark really an ex as well, really fucking resin, it was some people, like to a point where it's kind of cultish and not in a bad way, but just, I'd never considered how much, you know, material would impact

people's lives and stuff, and there's a level of responsibility and fear that I have there that I'd just rather have argued. Why do you not want to see what the people say? Because I'll feel responsible for them. Like I've been jigsawing when Netflix started first, I started coming out with my Instagram, my DMs all the time because it was a new level of attention people were telling me they fucking loved me and then you start responding and then you start speaking to people who go through really or going through really, really hard

times you, you know, some of my fans are so excited and they start telling me about that and I'm suddenly, of course I'm conversing with these people because I don't want them to fucking kill themselves and but it's always been my age it was like you've got to step away. You've got bad from the DM in Buckeye. Yeah you can. So with the, the, there's definitely noticed when I don't post about my girlfriend much on online and that's not because I'm ashamed of her, it's just because she's fucking hideous. And it's just so hard. Ah, yeah. No.

Yeah. Um, because I, I agreed to this life. I signed the deal with the devil, uh, for the, for the life of famous success. And if she wants to sign that contract, so self, she's allowed to sign that contract or so, but just because she's my girlfriend doesn't mean she's automatically, um, should be in the world. But when I do talk about online, you get some fucking stupid people in the comments, you're like, oh my god, what about Jackson? I'm like, if you actually watch the show, the whole point of it is, I absolutely believe

in love. I've always fucking believed in love. My parents have been together for 35 years. There's no divorcees I don't remember. I know love is really, it does exist. I just get, I was always annoyed. I still get annoyed by fake bullshit love. The emulations of love, the fucking cat, the, you know, it's been cut with other things, obligation and responsibility and fear of loneliness. It's not pure, it's just shite,

fucking methe love. And yeah, and I, and I still fucking rail against that. But, for me now, man, this is, I'm properly in that, like I would not have got through this lockdown if I hadn't been for my girlfriend, she really... I don't know, she just made me confident in the bits of me that I was never confident in before. So most people are very, very happy because they can see that she makes me happy and stuff. And then, also a man I thought I couldn't get a shit what people say online, like from the bottom of my heart, like if anyone tweets or it describes me anything negative, I don't reply because I find it the equivalent of saying no you to a dog's fart. Like it's so unimpactful. How do you deal with sort of vitriol and

hate and criticism and stuff online? By knowing I'm fucking better than everyone of them. What an answer. Why would I give a fucking wet-hot shit about what Sam Sad can't in a fucking darkened room smashed as fucking cheesy fucking fingertips into on me, fuck off. Like, I fuck with what world, in what world would that opinion ever affect me? Who the fuck are you to affect my opinion of myself, fuck off, get fuck. You only get to see what I let you, fuck and see what I let you pay me to fucking see, fucking off. there's the old me he's still is it I know but I don't like that side of my cell it's horrible you're

gonna turn it on and turn it off you know what was it that you said when we were up for lunch and someone had done something similar criticized you about something and you said who the fuck are you cut my house has got two kitchens? I bet I've done a horrible side of myself. That's the bit of me that's not capable of taking the pictures. I do. Yeah, yeah, what a horrible side of me. I'm like, you know what, I'm better than you because I earn more. That's the bits that always come up in, you know, therapy.

I'm like, fuck, where's this darkness come from? What's that about? Yeah, it's the second kitchen. That's where it looks. But you moved your girlfriend in. Yes. The tactical implication of that was that you thought you were going to have an empty house

that she would keep clean. Yes, no, no, that's just a horrible cure, can't say. She's not on the note. Mike Alfred moved to the judge, because I love her dearly. But it was quite a good decision given the foreseeable pandemic? Yes, I was going to be on tour for ages.

So it was sort of like I moved into the house and my apartment, a part of the house wouldn't mind for it to be a family house. I was like, I walked in, I was like, oh, this is the house that I'll raise my children in. So we moved in and we knew I was gonna be away a lot Which we were used to but it was gonna it was gonna be so much less than the previous year. So that was exciting and then

We were so worried as well because she's she's got a real job and stuff So like even when I was home she would have her 95. We used to have this fucking funny routine in once home she would have her 95 because there's really fucking funny routinely, January, which was I'd wake up every morning and make her a pack lunch for her to go to work because I was home and I'd never been home before and I just got to... You're a kept man. Ah, no, no, no, she's in people who you've changed, I go no, no, no, this, I've seen my father, I know, like this is, this has always been inside of me, Like the romantic side of me, the kind general side, I just fucking put down for years and years

cause it wasn't funny on stage. And then it's been like flourish a little bit more. So you house has been in it for a little while. Yeah, I've had chairs and hoovering and I'd loved it. Man, it's good fucking life. I'd love to be a house bitch. Like, I've been the fucking future, if you wanted to say,

because she even really likes her job, and I'd love to be a fucking stay-home dad. What a life, and I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, to any parents be like, it's not easy, I know big a parent isn't fucking easy. But I rarely see a challenge over it, like, hey, I'd like that, yeah.

I can't wait to be a dad, man. Yeah, like to, I mean, there's something interesting interesting about being sort of around about 30 is a man. Do you have one talked about like it's such a trope to talk about women of 10, 30, and she's still single, you know, it's sort of the biological clock state.

And you're like, oh, fucking hell mate, that how old's that joke? I. But there is an equivalent for men, like I find myself not doling, because that's too much, but children used to be disgusting, and I wanted to throw things at them.

And now I'm not completely repulsed. Oh, see, no, I, it's the way you've gone as you've, I think you, there's a scale that you slide up and down. I'm lagging behind you a little, am I? Oh, I've always loved kids. Okay. But I think we've increased.

I love you, careful what you say. I've always loved you. Man, this is genuinely something that constantly comes up in my stand-up, because in the show X, I had a routine about how much I love kids. Unfortunately, I also pepper all of my sentences with the word fucking. So there was several times on tour

where I, without just not thinking about the next show, I think about a number of other things, I'd still be saying, I fucking love kids. I'd say I love fucking kids. And some days I catch it, but I know there were other days I didn't. There were other days which just made sure I'd be like, I love fucking kids, man.

Because for me, it's not, I'm not using the word, fucking as a verb, it's an ad-fire. It's garnish, isn't it? Yeah, it's the... It's it's not I'm not using the word fucking as a verb it's it's an ad-bar. It's garnish isn't it? Yeah it's the it's totally yeah fucking this fuck that shit off you know it's yeah yeah man there is something there's something interesting and there's not an architect for that and I think that like men probably could do it speaking about that a little bit more the fact that you, you can desire a family and it's still masculine to want that even though you haven't got that. I can't imagine anything more. And also,

why did I have to be fucking masculine? But again, I say this is something who deals with his own toxic masculinity regularly. You all saw it come out about 15 minutes ago. But I don't, I've never, we're talking masculinity, I've never understood the bit of it that men can't feel love or shouldn't feel love. I don't, I don't believe that. I don't believe that fucking trope at all. Like my dad adores his fucking family, even though I've not seen my, I'd never seen my dad cry much. He wasn't necessarily hiding from me, but you've never struggled as hell, you would never, it wasn't difficult for him. Like men can still very much be like, I love you, that's a fucking man.

And still be man. Yeah, yeah. And if being a strong man is important to you, which it is to some men, and I don't think that something we should admonish, it's nice to feel strong sometimes. it's a good sort of thing, it's just when your ability to appear strong doesn't allow you those moments of weakness or softness or that's when it's bad.

But this general idea of I want to be big and strong, I want to be a protector, okay, just as long as you're happy and sensible with it, for me it absolutely fits in with that being a man, I want to be a dad, I want to protect my family, I want to fucking raise them to be good men. That's a, you know, my grandad was always wanting to make sure that his son grew up here, good man, he'd get those generations, that like it's all about being good. Is that a scourge thing? No, I don't think so. I mean, maybe there's a lot of cuts down here, so maybe. You're right.

It's, I don't know, man, I think it's really interesting, the sort of where men are at the moment. There seems to be a lot of different kind of roots peeling off. You've heard of MIGTOW, men going their own way, which is basically, it's like a, imagine, imagined militant feminism and then flip it completely opposite. So it's men saying we don't need women. Basically the only way to win the game is not to play is what they think. So it's men who perhaps have been scorned by women who are just don't really like the dynamic that's going on. Some divorces, some men

that have never had partners or never had families. And you've got that going one way and then me and you talking about like, I can't wait to be a dad and I'm really excited to have kids. I think I'm going to be hopefully going to be a good, a good father. Oh, you know. You need therapy, man. I don't know. I see both sides of it because I see how hurtful relationship breakups can be. And so do you.

And for some people, they would rather than deal with the risk of that occurring again. Yeah. Would just say, no, but that's not the beginning of that. I don't believe that's what they're doing. What they're doing is, is, they're compressing their feelings into, to the point where it's becoming carbon and coal in their bodies and they're using that fuel to burn hatred. Whereas, you know, if you, if you didn't fucking compress it with inside of you, you wouldn't be filled with this fuel of fucking anger.

Therapy. Man, therapy is a test. And I think it's an absolute fucking disgrace that it's something, it's a form of privilege. Like, I can afford to go to therapy. And there are obviously free forms of therapy that people can go to, but they're difficult to get. It's not available to everyone, it's not readily fucking available.

And I just don't make it so, especially this fucking you, man. Like everyone needs therapy. Therapy isn't a fix to anything. The way I describe it, therapy is just putting a condom on the deck of 2020 before it fucks you in the ass. Like it's not, it doesn't give rid of the deckish, they're gonna get fucked in the ass,

but God it stops some of the disease it's getting in. It's a bit smooth out. Like it's a pro-setting. Like it's not a fixed meditation, isn't a fixed thing. It's all a pro-setting, man. You just give yourself these tools so that when you're going through good times, give yourself all the tools and all the knowledge

that the way things do get hard out. They get able to, you know, if you're going through good times, give yourself all the tools and all the knowledge that the way things do get hard now. They get able to, you know, if you're one of these people that is so bad at asking for fucking help, give yourself the tools for the next time. You don't have to, I also just ask for help you, stupid kind. What's it being psychotherapy? No, I just, so what happened was after the, after my tour last year, I lost a lot of myself. I was very, just overworked, overworked I just snapped, didn't like who I was, didn't like how I was, didn't like how I was, I was straight in my agent, I didn't like how I was speaking to people, didn't like how short time period I was. So I just, I'm like, let me email the thing and I was just

like, hello, and you know, just like, I fucking don't like who I am, I'd like to start going to I was just like, hello, and I was just like, I fucking don't know who I am, I'd like to start going to therapy. And the email back and they were like, I can make you go with them. Ever since then, it just wants a week. And the first couple of ones is, like if you're a psychopath, like I am,

she'll be playing chess again to man, trying to help you. I'm like, I'm literally, I'm literally paying her my mind. What do you want? Yeah. What do you want? I, how are we paying this? I'm like, I'm literally, I'm literally paying with my- What do you want? Yeah. What do you want? I'm paying with my own way. I'm paying with my own way.

I'm like, oh, you're trying to get that out of me. You're like, yes, yes, I am. What is this? That's why you're here. Yeah, you paid me for the fucking jewel. And putting home, for me, it's just been nice to- Because there's not that I don't have a support in network. You don't go to therapy just because you don't have anyone And put in all my thoughts, it's just been nice to... Because there's no other support in that work.

And you don't go to therapy just because you don't have anyone to talk to. Like I've got family and the loves me deeply. I've got very loving relationship. I've got friends, I can fool you. Anytime I want, we can talk about things, but that's not what therapy is. Therapy is somebody on the outside,

somebody on bias, somebody who is going to like listen and hell and just recognize your patterns of thoughts and sort of go, hey, hey, you say there's a lot but that's not true. Like I didn't realize I had anxiety. My thought was what type is like, how's anxiety? I'm like, I don't think. What anxiety? What was I? And they're not allowed to roll the rice, but he did. Not allowed to roll the rice.

Would you be over? I don't. Yeah, no, no, no. Dog anxiety. How do you feel when anyone's late to something, I'm like they should die, they should be wrong. In 2020, there's not a single reason to be fucking late to anything. Everything tells you how long it takes to get somewhere.

There's clocks in every fucking screen. To be late in 2020 is a willful decision. And it goes, how do you feel when you're late for things? I'm like, I would never be late for anything because I would be fucking discreet. And if I do, I'd be like, that's anxiety. And I'm like, huh? Right. And when I realized that's just that small little realization of it's like, okay, here's a, here's a moment in your life where your brain shat itself. Well, it just had a fucking whity. And, apparently, I had a fucking whity. You then reflect back and other things and go,

oh, I wasn't writing that moment or the reason I freaked out then was because of this. One of the big things I discovered through meditation as well as therapy. And I don't know how, whether this is shocking news to other people, whether it was just me. I didn't realize that I don't know how, whether this is shocking news to other people, whether it was just me, I didn't realise that it wasn't my own thoughts. Right, so for so long, because of all my thoughts in my head, I've always been so good and

positive. I've always believed in them all the more. For the past 12 years, my brother would be like, Sloss, you're the fucking best. And I'd be like, God damn it. I'm the best. I go on stage, an audience would confirm it, I'd be like, I'm the best. I go on stage and audience would confirm it and break it up and I'd be like, fucking thanks, bring it, you're right on the bed. I'm so fucking good. But I'm a baby who's telling me all these positive things and because of my life was going well, I believed this and turning on or what, I fully relate it. And then when lockdown hit my brain was

like, you're fucking worthless and pointless. I was like, well that must be true too. That must be, it's been right for the past 12 years. Why would it not be right now? So my brain's going, you're worth it. What has my fucking side been like? Fucking, you're nailing it again, Brad. You are spawned with all of these assessments. Fucking, you know me so well.

And then suddenly I'm like, why am I wallowing? Why am I sad? Oh, it's these. It's some of your thoughts are good and a lot of them are. And some of them are neither good nor bad. They're just weird thoughts that you relate to yourself. And therapy for me has just been helped me realizing the occasional moments where my brain, I'm just like, oh, shit, I'm used to be cute, not now. It's nice. I like it. I thoroughly recommend it to people who can get it. But it's also, it's really, I'd love to at some point

in the future do, it would be a dream of going to get, fucking free everywhere, to get on the NHS properly. That'd be so good. But we're about to hit National Mental Health Week. I think that's two weeks time, something like that in the UK. And I agree, mate. I think after this year, we need more than a week. Yeah, it needs to be national mental health. Yeah.

I don't know. I think definitely therapy, the stigma around that could do with being fixed a lot. Like the fact that to say that you're going to therapy, most people take that as an implication that there's something wrong with you. Yeah. No, I can just be better. All right. Functioning. I mean, I haven't walked out into open traffic. I'm not screaming racist slurs on street corners. Like, I haven't shot myself.

Well, so there was something wrong with me. I didn't like myself. Yes. And if you don't like yourself, that is something wrong with you. You should like yourself. You should love who you are. You know, just because you like who you are, and love who you are, doesn't mean you're fucking perfect

and you don't need a fucking improvement. But if you don't like yourself, you're wrong, that's a problem, get that, get that sorted. New book, what's happening with the book? It has been delayed because of this, because it's being released in America first, because it's in America book. We want to make sure that we could do a book tour with it, like go out and go. How do you do a book tour as a comedian?

Do you play a comedy show that's around the book? Yeah, essentially, we're just being, would it say, actually, just being, no, no, no, I would just go on in the road and do my show and then afterwards just do big signings and then sort of go to the book stores around the country and I don't know, I've never done one. You ever said the word, couldn't in a water stones?

You could do. Oh, yeah, that'd be kind of fun. Yeah, you've seen the, you never said the word, couldn't in a water stones, you could do. Oh yeah, that'd be kind of funny. Yeah, you've seen the, you've seen the cunts, they get in water stones, of course. Yeah, how you're doing it in there, you're walking around in, you know what I mean? I mean, I would love to, I would be thrilled to see what parts of the book they would let me read

in a more water stones. If, if, if, oh no, I mean, I will be released in the UK eventually, but once it's, I'm also rewriting it at the moment just. Yeah, you mentioned you making a few changes there. Yeah, just, I brought a chapter on, well, I want to know right after chapter on mental health because in January, I thought I was the fucking god of it. I was like, I was one of those utter, utter, utter, utter, utter good.

So, like, look, look, I hate mental health. It's very very very important for other people who have problems and I support them from a distance but I don't because I'm perfect. No self reflection by. We know that I've been helped immensely thanks to a therapy and upon self reflection and meditation, I want to do meditation was about that. I also just applied a bit of further fucking reflection. There was a couple of chapters in there where it was just the ego was still in there and it wasn't in

Ireland, there wasn't enough reflection in it and also there was a row of chapters on you know, America and because I do love America for many many reasons and I did dislike many many things about it but I sort of wrote this chapter trying to explain how difficult that was but it was there I think I was I generally think I was being too gentle because my experience of America was as a was as a successful white man and upon I lockdown, one of the things I started studying American history because of my past learning about the country more and then seeing everything that's happened

especially this year. I think that was too fucking gentle. I think anything that was written at the beginning of this year, Nullinvoid, yeah. Like you can't expect, and there's something bizarre as well. You can create a YouTube video. I could publish something now that we recorded in January and just like title it as like was recorded in January And no one really gives a shit. I

However, if you write a book there's something about it It's like supposed to be evergreen and incarnate, you know like it transcends time and space and people presume I think it's partly the medium, it's so fucking bojoire, people just presume that it's like, it's got the 2020 vision literally. And I can imagine that if you had written that, it would have felt like you kind of cemented something that you probably didn't agree with. Yes, I was so grateful to my publishers, they instantly ran the house when I was like, I'd like to update it, they were like, excuse me. Yes, I'm like, hello, I was wrong about a bunch of things. I know, like, thank God you're sick.

As a good apprentice, it's good print time. They have been so understanding. With it, because yeah, I also have a real problem with being proud of what that I've done. I can't accept them as stamps of times, like I watch all material and I go, I was wrong then, and I can't put myself in the position. I was like, yes, but you felt at the time and things have changed and you've changed.

So I don't watch any of my old shows, they make me very uncomfortable. You said that you've, I think I've heard you say before that you kind of watch recent stuff to refine your... Yeah, yeah, I'll say it, but there's like maybe an 18 month window and anything before that is deleted. Absolutely, yeah, this video can't watch myself fucking... If I...

This is a shit I think, the thing. But sometimes when I watch some of my fucking old stand-up, I thought I was just like my plans at the dumbest company. I was like, I was just sitting watching this fucking shite stand-up as fucking young cocky piece of shit, talking shite, and I'm like, fucking, how did people ever fall for that?

You fucking shot all of them. Is another way that everything's supposed to be though. Like I can't bear to go back and listen to the first hundred episodes of this show. I'm like, oh my god what's going on. But the thing is, if that's the way that you look at stuff, you know that in 100 more episodes are in three more years, you're going to look at the stuff that you've just done now and think, what an idiot. How are you terrible? As always that growth

mindset is always going to leave the previous you and the dust. That is the implication of growth I think. But I also, yes, but with growth and with age, you should come wisdom. And if you apply wisdom to your past self, you should be able to be like, hey, yeah, go away. That was me then. And I don't hate that. And I'm different now. And I prefer the changes I've made. No, I like who I'm about, I don't hate that. But I said, that's hopefully with the wisdom of use, but I just don't have it yet. Not yet, maybe 50 or 60. So what's next? Are you able to make plans for the future at the moment?

Have you got a couple of book chapters to write? A couple of book chapters to write. The second I get an internet connection, I will be attempting to get up to twitch, just fucking explore, see what that is because it's, I don't want to go with too many expectations. I want to just see what it is and see whether I am good at it. And then hopefully just tours, man. Like, I mean, we just don't know anything more,

but I'm really, really enjoying now because even though gigs can be pulled at any fucking moment, we had a gig at the stand in Newcastle, pulled last week because just health and safety concerns. That's the sort of world we live in now. I'm enjoying the time at home and I'm actually really enjoying the time at home now, now that I'm friends with my brain again. Like it's a good time, okay. I enjoy, I usually reconnect with friends because for so many years touring and traveling and stuff I didn't get to not to reach any friendships, it was very

much I said to my friends, I'm like, these are the two weeks I'm back and I'm literally talking about two of my closest friends, the allies, for years and years and they were such good friends, I was like whenever I'm back from tour do not fucking invite me to your house. If you want to see me you'll come to where I live because I spend most of my time in the road. So when I'm home, I wanna be home. I don't wanna go to where you live. I don't wanna fucking meet you come to me,

which is totalitarian Nazi stats to friendship. But one which I sort of had to do for years and now I don't, I get to be a bit of friend, I get to be a bit of brother. So you're a normal guy, right? I, I, I, like. This is the thing, I think a lot, I don't, I get to be a, I get to be a bit of friend, I get to be a bit of brother. It's a normal guy, right? I, I like... This is, this is a thing I think a lot of people don't see in success. Like, the price that you pay to be at the absolute precipice of the top of your particular

field is a lot of sacrifices that the person who is 98% of the way to where you are isn't because 98% of the effort is the returns go like that everybody knows there's like I don't know maybe 200 to 500 comedians on the planet that I'm ever going to have a Netflix special like within the next however long like oh maybe no maybe not even that maybe 100 to 100 100, 100 comedians, like, okay, so to get there, the difference between you and the next guy has to be so, so great. So that 2% is actually maybe another double the workload to just get that extra little bit in. And unfortunately, that is the sacrifices of 300 date tours and, you know, playing, I remember we were talking you were saying it almost got to the stage where you didn't feel like a comedian anymore, it was like a performance and time away from friends and like, can

you deal with that suffering? Like, do you want that? As an upcoming actor, comedian, writer, do you want to be working to that kind of a schedule with that kind of suffering, with that kind of sacrifice? If you don't, you're going to artwork them. And you've... And unfortunately, it almost becomes like a battle of attrition. Like, we've realised that with the show. I think it depends on the type of success you want. Like, if you want to be the prodigy, if you want to be the first to do it,

or the youngest to do it, you'll work for everything. For a lot of things. Then yes, it is about that and it's about that extra 2%. But so many of the greatest comedians of all time, and I will even put this into most of the other art forms as well and a lot of jobs, they are the best, not for how fast they did it, but for how consistently they did it over the years. Like Bill Barr, who is widely regarded now as one of the greatest of all time in my opinion rightfully so. Mary's been doing it for 30 years. He's been doing it nonstop for 30 years and we only just, I mean, he only really came into the forefront in the

past five years, right? People go't know where did he come from. No, would you be a guy? He's always been there. He's always been there. 25 years of hard, regular, graft-wagging, you know, he was working, making a lot of the sacrifices. I mean, there's so many brilliant comedians that only are being recognised in their 50s.

You know, Tom stayed, worked his ass off since he was 18 and there's now other thing, I think, sorry if you're watching, stayed. I think he's fucking 50 now, he's nearly dead. He's getting the recognition. Now I, and there's two ways to do it and I went for the speedy fucking first one and thankfully this year forced me to slow down but one and thankfully this year forced me to slow down but um... I still think that fucking hungry is there I still... As much as it's been nice to be a bit docile. Yeah, I'm deaf, I'm not fucking done. So I feel like that as well.

I think a lot of people might do too. I wonder how many of the listeners can resonate with this, the fact that it does feel a little bit like you've become domesticated, literally and mentally, that you can't, I've been relatively low energy, like relatively sort of low charisma, like, who am I going to be big dick to? Like myself on camera, the one guest that I'm speaking to on the other side of this, of the show, like that's not going to happen, like the couple of friends that I've snuck in at 4pm before the restaurants close, I mean, you don't have that gas in you so much anymore. And I think that there's going to be a lot of people

who get re-released into the wild, who are going to have latent energy that's going to catapult them through. And I think that's going to be really exciting. I do, I think if and where the world goes there back to normal, there are people who have a new sense of fire under the rest. Unfortunately, there's also plenty of people especially when they are, it's just who I can't imagine. I think this pandemic has probably caused the loss of

the greats of many, many fucking things, people who in the arts, who were able to do the arts, because they were able to subsidise it with a fucking job, but now can't focus on their passion, because they're just trying to fucking make ends meet. I know so many good comedians who have just gone, I'm not a comedian anymore, I can't, there's no work. And I, and I, that'll go to, over to art, it'll go over to, you know, acting, it'll go to all this, maybe I'm fucking even, not even just the art, fucking plumbers, technicians, programmers, oh maybe not, they could do it from home. Athletes. Athletes? Yeah, I truly think we've lost Covid has caused the loss of the generation of greets. And we don't know what the long-term

effects of Covid are, I think we're going to have a generation of kids who were born for the first six months of those crucial development years where they were only going to see both of their parents. What are the long-term effects of that? The first six months of your life is only two phases. What are the long-term, if any. But one of the other long term effects is, maybe they'll just be in 25 fucking years, a bunch of time when art sucks for a bit. I think everyone's a plumber of us. I, I, I football just a little bit shaggy while I fucking have.

I have to say, I really enjoy the football without the fan noise. I just think it is, because there's a DJ, have you seen this? I like the fake noise and the press. And how how good are those fucking like sometimes they get it wrong Yeah, very funny when they get it wrong like it's like well, no, it's my Might you've but fans did that as well that was you know the amount of time. I feel much go So two questions first one if someone's had some challenges with their

relationship during COVID, what would you say, any, any bits of advice of how they might be able to deal with it a little bit better? Oh, man, I mean, I, here's one of the stances I still start by. That earlier, Jigsaw is if your relationship requires any fucking effort, even during a pandemic. Man, I mean, my girlfriend didn't fall out once. And again, don't be wrong. I know there's gonna be fucking people who've been married for 25 years.

And they're gonna be like, you're still in the fucking honey phase. Just wait. I think you're still in the honey moon phase. Maybe, maybe I didn't fall in love with a cunt. Who knows, we'll never know. We'll know in 25 years time. No advice, I'm in a shitty, not a shitty person, I'm in a really good position where I didn't

have to work on my non-representative position. And also, I thoroughly recommend people watch Jeksoc, your quality. Where can they get that now? It's still on Netflix. It's still on Netflix. That's quite a long time has been on it two years. Uh, yeah, I think, I think they, I think they have a forever. Is it?

I don't know. It's a shame they're not sure. Fuck me. I don't know, I mean, where else would it go? Why don't, I don't know how long I had it up there. I don't know how long it's up there. Uh, fun thing. Lessons from 2020. Well, it's going to be the biggest lesson that you take away from 2020? And had I heard myself say this in January, I would have knocked myself out,

but just fucking take better care of yourself, take responsibility for your physical health to responsibility for your mental health. And I like this year, it took a real fucking knock to the confidence, but I'm glad that you know that did have the college and the strength to go to therapy and to seek help that you know I did stick to you know meditation and you know learning about my stuff and

just deciding to go and fucking to slow down like last year was really go and fuck, I need to slow down. Like last year was really hard and admitting that I was having a hard time, which is hard to do because we're also relaxing to admit we're having a hard time because everyone's having a hard time. So you don't want to admit it so you go, oh, I know all these are the people in a worse position. So how dare I think I'm in a bad position. And that's not true for anyone.

That's not how the world works. And if you think that way, get out your fucking head, you're allowed to be as miserable as you want to be. But do what you can to not feel that way. We all deserve to be happy. I love it, man. It's an oddly balanced and positive way for us to finish one of these.

It's usually berating people that we don't like. Well, wait until, wait until, let's come back in a year's day, we're glad comedy's back and I'll be like listen, you're a fuckers on back, I'm confident again, you're all fucking busy. I said last year, he was in. All right. Tell you what, turns out you shouldn't love yourself, you should just fucking love me. Oh man, so book out next year.

We're kind of next year. Twitch, have you got Twitch yet? I have. I have. Yes, it's year. Twitch, have you got Twitch yet? I have. Yes, it's Daniel Slaus, I think. We're down on the source of Slaus. It's not a common name, you'll find me. But I don't have any followers on the yet.

And the accounts barely set up because once again, Slaus and the internet connection and the world's done. Where else? Instagram? Instagram. Also, watching that for what? What do you think Slaus? Yeah, go on Netflix to watch dark and jigsaw.

And also, if you follow them, go on my website downsloss.com, we're adding two days. We're not two days. We're adding dates all the time. We're doing spots and random places over the next couple of months. Just come see me while I'm humble again. What a unique opportunity. I know. Yeah, small, small people watching this.

We're like, I can't believe you think you were thamblers. And thank you so much. As always. I shouldn't have done that. A legal, absolutely a legalist. you