Modern Wisdom - #334 - Shane Parrish - Mental Models, Good Decisions & Better Content

Episode Date: June 14, 2021

Shane Parrish is the Founder of Farnam Street, an ex-Canadian Intelligence Agency Operative and an author. Farnam Street is one of the best blogs on the planet. Shane has been a huge contributor to in...creasing the popularity of mental models and effective decision making over the last few years, today we get to dig into some of his favourite insights. Expect to learn how to pursue growth without feeling insufficient, why everyone in Shane's company gets august off work, how to know when your ego is deceiving you, why making a ton of money on Bitcoin doesn't make you a genius and much more... Sponsors: Get over 37% discount on all products site-wide from MyProtein at http://bit.ly/modernwisdom (use code: MODERNWISDOM) Get 20% discount on Reebok’s entire range including the amazing Nano X1 at https://geni.us/modernwisdom (use code MW20) Extra Stuff: Check out Farnam Street - https://fs.blog/ Check out The Knowledge Project - https://fs.blog/knowledge-project/  Get my free Ultimate Life Hacks List to 10x your daily productivity → https://chriswillx.com/lifehacks/ To support me on Patreon (thank you): https://www.patreon.com/modernwisdom - Get in touch. Join the discussion with me and other like minded listeners in the episode comments on the MW YouTube Channel or message me... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chriswillx Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/chriswillx YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/ModernWisdomPodcast Email: https://www.chriswillx.com/contact Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Ladies and gentlemen boys and girls welcome back to the show. My guest today is Shane Parish, he's the founder of Phanham Street, an ex-Canadian intelligence agency operative and an author. Phanham Street is one of my favourite blogs on earth. Shane has been a huge contributor to increasing the popularity of mental models and effective decision-making over the last few years, and today we get to dig into some of his favorite insights. Expect to learn how to pursue growth without feeling insufficient.
Starting point is 00:00:30 Why everyone in Shane's company gets August off work, how to know when your ego is deceiving you, why making a ton of money on Bitcoin doesn't make you a genius and much more. Shane is a fantastic human. He's shaped my thinking quite profoundly over the last few years, and if this is your first introduction to him, you will really enjoy this. He's a very deep thinker. His insights around making better decisions, living a fulfilled life, really are timeless.
Starting point is 00:00:59 Yeah, enjoy this one. Before we get on to any news, Apple Podcasts recently updated their app and you may be struggling to find this show and many of your others. So do me a favor, whether you're listening on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, just open your phone, open up the player that's got this podcast on it, there's three dots in the corner, press that, press go to show. If you are on Apple Podcasts, there will either be a big subscribe button in the middle of the screen or a plus in the top right hand corner. And if you are on Spotify, it'll just say follow, press that. And no matter what Spotify or Apple podcasts try to
Starting point is 00:01:34 do to ruin their platform, you will continue to be delivered this podcast every Monday, Thursday and Saturday. You will never miss out on episodes as long as you've got that pressed. They can try to take our platform, but they cannot take our audio plays. That's how I'm feeling, like William Wallace at the end of Braveheart. And now, please welcome the wise and wonderful Shane Parish. Thanks Chris, glad to be here. My pleasure. I fell in love with a tweet of yours from the other month, which said, if you're not obsessed with it, you'll never master it. Being obsessed won't with something won't ensure mastery, but not being obsessed will ensure you
Starting point is 00:02:33 won't master it. What have you been obsessed with this year? I've been obsessed with taking care of my family. I mean, it's COVID, right? So it's obsessed about taking care of all the people in my life. Workwise, I'm just obsessed with little details, right? Like the font on the website and the Instagram backgrounds and people think that that's a little bit obsessive, but it's part of the craft.
Starting point is 00:02:56 It's part of what we do. Writing, I'm trying to get better at. I'm obsessed with getting better at writing and being clear and being succinct and being relatable to being succinct and being relatable to people. And it helps me clarify my thinking, right, because writing is thinking on the page. And often I discover that through writing that I really don't know what I'm talking about.
Starting point is 00:03:17 That's a great feeling in a way. It's bad in a way, but it's sort of like the dawning of wisdom, right? Because you can't learn anything if you think you already know it. And when you write it down, you force yourself to confront the fact that maybe you don't know it as well as you did, especially when you're trying to write it down for an audience that might not have the context
Starting point is 00:03:35 or might not be a domain expert in what you're writing about. So you have to simplify. And simplify doesn't mean that it's simplistic. It just means that you're using different words that everybody can relate to. So, you're now you're translating it side of the domain in which you might have learned something, you're translating it to a more relatable domain for everybody else. And I think that that's so powerful for us to just calibrate our own knowledge and hone our understanding of what we know.
Starting point is 00:04:03 How do you avoid getting bogged down in little details? Tiago Forte had a tweet a couple of months ago talking about how the highest leverage people that he knows most of their work has a rough-edged half-ast quality to it because perfectionism is a low leverage activity. How do you avoid restricting the pace at which you ship work by focusing on the minutia? Um, I think I dabble in the minutia all the time, right? So the font, the layout, the paragraph spacing, all of that stuff, I dabble in it, but it's not important to shipping. It doesn't hold back what we're doing because I can always be solved later.
Starting point is 00:04:43 But when it comes to, you know, sometimes you just have to put a time box around things. And it's like, I'm going to give this the best effort I have in this amount of time. And sometimes you don't. And a lot of that comes from circumstance and preparation and a whole bunch of things that you maybe do or do not control, right? Like you're born into life, you're born into a certain country, you get genes, a lot of this you don't control, your parents you don't control, you're pushed through this, call it the lucky push, right? Your parents, your socioeconomic status
Starting point is 00:05:13 that you grew up with, your friends, your school, and you go off into the world and you have more time to dabble, you have more time to do different things than maybe somebody who wasn't as lucky, but at some point you take control. And you take control of your own trajectory. And that is the point where you start making decisions that really impact what's going to happen to you in life.
Starting point is 00:05:34 And some people realize that they do and some people don't. And you have to realize what's core and what's not to what you're doing to and you're craft, right? If you're focusing or obsessed with the details on something that's not important to what you're doing to and you're craft, right? If you're focusing or obsessed with the details on something that's not important to what you do, then that's probably not a productive or high leverage use of time. But if they are part of the craft,
Starting point is 00:05:54 writing a sentence, it could take all day to write a sentence, but that's part of the craft of what I do when it comes to Fernham Street. And so that those details matter, and they matter a lot, and you can outsource that to other people and you can be hands-off about it. But eventually, then you just become
Starting point is 00:06:11 somebody who's outsourcing everything. And maybe that's what you want. And you'll scale really well. And but the internet gives us leverage to begin with, right? And so the leverage of the internet is for us to sort of like double the number of readers. There's no additional work for me. Double the number of listeners to your podcast or my podcast. It's no additional work for us. And whether you obsess over the font on your cover art, photography,
Starting point is 00:06:36 I remember I listened to a podcast on the way here today where you were talking and it took you six months and you woke up in the middle of the night and you discovered the name of the podcast, but you had dabbled for six months. So you're obsessively working on this for six months and then it hit you in the middle of the night. I thought that that was like a key, that's a key relatable story to you, how it all actually works. Well, from a user good avatar for someone that does browse fs.blog, it comes across, I think, the degree of finesse that the site has. It really is beautifully and aesthetically put together. Another thing that I
Starting point is 00:07:14 notice, your tagline changes seemingly every other time that I go on, whether it's get yourself together or sort yourself out, mastering the best of what other people have figured out. Like all of these are top-notch taglines, and it's obvious to a user, at least an observant user, that you are iterating on this stuff. And I think that you're right. When the marginal cost of increasing the size of your audience is essentially zero. The selection effect, which chooses whether or not you are going to go from second in the world to first in the world or from 40th podcast in your country to 39th to 35th. A lot of the time that is going to come down to quality as you get towards the top. So I have been citing a stat a lot recently, which is 90% of podcasts don't make it past episode 3 and of the 10% that do 90% don't make it past episode 20. So by simply producing 21 podcast episodes, you're in the top 1% of podcasters on the planet,
Starting point is 00:08:16 which is a beautiful power law to see. But of all podcasters that have produced 300 episodes or 500 episodes, what's selecting them as they're further through the maturation process. And I actually think that's a really interesting distinction that you're talking about there that's probably missed off in Twitter, obviously, is not perfect for new ones. But Tiago's tweet misses that, which is that as you get towards the peak of your craft, those fine tuned points, the level of detail and resolution that you see things with, perhaps does matter. It also, I think, depends on your particular goals. What is it you're trying to achieve?
Starting point is 00:08:59 I mean, I dabble in this stuff just because I like dabbling in it. I like fonts. I like changing up the tagline. We don't use any real metrics for any of our page views or anything like that or sign-ups. We just want to be the best version of ourselves and get better every day about what we're trying to do in the craft. We're about to redesign the whole website, which will come out in the next sort of like 45 days. But the idea there is also selection, right?
Starting point is 00:09:28 So we just don't, we don't want the most readers, we just want the best readers. And same as listeners to the podcast, we don't really, we're not going for a mainstream podcast. If we were, we'd be releasing an episode every day and what we're going for is we just want a really good audience who loves what we do and that'll take care of itself. That's really interesting. Really, really interesting point, man, to counteract the consistency and iteration addiction. As with everything, I think it is a balance.
Starting point is 00:09:58 One thing eventually you become a relevant, right? So it like just just worked through this with me and this is my hypothesis. So I don't know if it's correct or not, but let's say I write an article for the website. It's really popular. So now I know if I write another article like that, it's going to be really popular. Well, if I do this over and over again, and on a weekly basis, it won't make a difference on a monthly basis, it won't make a difference. But if I do this for years, eventually, I become irrelevant. And I become irrelevant not only in my knowledge and my learning and my development,
Starting point is 00:10:28 but I become irrelevant to my audience because this is the same thing rehashed over and over again. And all I'm going for is that immediate dopamine hit of what the audience wants. And I know it's popular because the metrics tell me it's popular. Same as with podcasts, right? Big name guests probably get more downloads than
Starting point is 00:10:45 people that nobody's ever heard of before. But if you only do big name guests, then you're not having fun as a host, you're not getting to explore the subjects you want to explore. It becomes a business instead of a craft. And that's fine because you can look at it as a business. That's why I said it depends on your goals and what you're trying to achieve. and that's why I said it depends on your goals and what you're trying to achieve. When you say the best that we can be is what you're optimizing for, how are you, what are the ways that you're adjudicating that?
Starting point is 00:11:13 Well, A, we have to make a living, right? We got payroll, we got to pay people. So we do need to generate some sort of income off what we do. But we also want to get back to the world. So part of what we're trying to do is equalize opportunity in the world, not outcomes. I to get back to the world. So part of what we're trying to do is equalize opportunity in the world, not outcomes. I don't believe in equal outcomes. I do believe in equal
Starting point is 00:11:29 opportunity. And we don't have it. So what we're trying to do is popularize thinking, mental models, critical thinking, and sort of give people a broader education than what they got in school, because we specialize so early. And so the best version of that means it's just increasingly relatable to other people. It means we're creating timeless content, we're talking about timeless things. We've been blogging since 2009. And honestly, you should be able to go look at any article
Starting point is 00:11:57 from 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, and it should still be relevant today. And that's the goal that we have for ourselves. And that's independent of sort of page views. Now, with that said, we also, we need feedback. And the feedback comes from touching people. And by touching them, I mean, interacting with people who read your website, not physically touching them
Starting point is 00:12:18 because we're all supposed to be physically distant right now. But we go to events. We talk to people. We hop on the phone with readers, we have an engaging learning community where people give us feedback about what we're doing. And touching that medium is really important because if you don't touch the medium, you get out of touch. And so we have to know that what we're doing is relevant for the people that we're trying to do it for. So yes, we're trying to do it for ourselves, but we're also trying to do it for other people.
Starting point is 00:12:43 And if we're writing in a way that doesn't resonate with other people, that the examples don't resonate. The theories are too far out there. The prescriptions are not applicable. Then we're not doing our job in the way that we want to be doing it. And it's not going to help us accomplish our goals. That's an interesting thing to do with anyone that's a creator or has goals online. The map and territory, mental models are perfect example of this, right? That you have a dashboard, which is a rough human set of statistics, but it is a proxy for telling you the things that you might actually
Starting point is 00:13:16 be optimizing for. Presumably, page views must at least in some part be aligned with popularity because the more popular it is, the more people see it, but why is it popular? Is it just racing to the bottom of the brain? Exactly. And then what's that? What's that effect where when a measure seeks to become the measure, the outcome itself? Oh, I think I know what you're doing. I don't remember. It's not the Parkinson's law. Yeah. People are going to be screaming at me. Anyway, that thing. But when you optimize for the outcome of the measure as opposed to the actual outcome itself, yeah. Um, well, that's what we do at work. All these KPI's, right? We're optimizing for the, but if the map is not the territory is a perfect mental model, that's exactly what we were talking about in the sounds. We get so far distant from what we're
Starting point is 00:13:58 actually doing in the feedback of it, we're operating based on a map and we're not in touch with the territory. So when the territory changes, we don't know that the territory has changed because it takes a while for the map to update. We do this in organizations. If you run a team and you have, let's say, multiple managers below you, everything gets filtered. We learn this in kindergarten, right? One way we learn this is sort of how information gets filtered to us. So in an organization, we just still it into a dashboard.
Starting point is 00:14:24 We have metrics. We have all these things. And if you're doing it that way, if you're operating that way, your job as a manager, your job as a leader is to touch the territory on a regular basis. How's the morale with people? Are these still the right metrics? What's behind the scenes with these metrics? Is the goalposts changing? Is the way that we calculate them changing? Are they still the relevant metrics? So your job changes from just sort of managing to being active and then it becomes I need to be active touching the territory. In kindergarten we do the telephone tag game, right? You sit in a circle, I don't know, we do this in Canada.
Starting point is 00:14:56 You sit in a circle, one person says the sentence, you go around the circle, by the time it gets back to the person you started, it sounds nothing like. And everybody just changed one word. Well, that happens in organizations, right? So if you're the CEO of an organization, then, and somebody who's really close to the problem, say you work in manufacturing and they're on the floor, they know exactly what the problem is, but, and they passed that up. But as that gets passed up layer of layer of management, everybody has their own slight tweak on it, different motivations, different incentives
Starting point is 00:15:26 to say something different, and the information gets lost in the process. And that's why it's so important that we actually touch the territory. And one way that we've done that or popularized that is sort of management by walking around. I hate that term. But what really goes on with management by walking around
Starting point is 00:15:43 is you're getting away from the map, and you're touching the territory to make sure that territory still relates to the map. And if you think about it that way, it makes all the sense in the world because you're not just walking around to say hi. I remember I used to work with people who did that. They would just walk by and they'd be like, hi, and you talk. You know, they read this book and they're like, oh, that's management by walking around. He saw all of his employees today and went back to their office. But that's not what it means. It means you need to be connected to people, connected to the people you work with, connected
Starting point is 00:16:12 to their work, and you need to understand it at some level. And if you want to solve problems, you really need to get as close to the problem as possible, because nobody understands that problem. At least the individual context of that problem, like the person closest to it. You might have a global context that you can add to it, which might change the solution to it, but you really need to talk to the people who are closest to the problem if you want to solve it. The interesting challenge there online, especially for content creators, is that you are inherently
Starting point is 00:16:40 buffered away from the problem. You're away from the map and the territory itself as well, right? Like everything has got distance between you and it. Have you got any advice about how people can... Well, not only is there a ton of distance, there's a ton of noise, right? And that becomes hard because now you have to pick a good signal from the noise.
Starting point is 00:17:02 So he's actually telling me something that matters versus don't, I don't know about you, but I get a negative, I'll get a thousand positive comments. I'll get one negative comment. And it's that one negative comment that like really hits me. And I can't let it go. And so touching the territory is sort of like, okay, I'll give you a great example of something we messed up.
Starting point is 00:17:23 We released an audio book called The Great Mental Models Volume One. And I did the narration for that. And we did it with a studio that had never done narration before and a whole bunch of other things. Anyway, the narration sucked. And it's totally on me. But when I get the feedback from it, the first bit of feedback is sort of like, okay, well,
Starting point is 00:17:41 one person said that. Now that I'm not going to, like it bothers me, but it doesn't carry a lot of weight. But as more and more people, and you start to get a cohort of people, and it doesn't have to be a large cohort, but it's enough people. For the second volume, we switch narrators, we get a different narrator. So it's sort of like, okay, we got feedback on it, the feedback made sense, and it wasn't consistent, but it was enough feedback to be relevant and statistically large. So, okay, at that point, now the world's telling us something,
Starting point is 00:18:11 we have a choice. Do we adapt to what the world is saying, or do we continue to believe that they're wrong, and I'm right, and the narration is fine. And it's like, well, no, I don't have any ego in this. I don't really need to be the narrator. There's no reason for me to be the narrator. And so it's changed the narrator, right? And it's that sort of simple, but it's really hard when the world gives us feedback like that, when the map or the territory is changing
Starting point is 00:18:39 to change the map, especially if we created the map. And that becomes like a really interesting nuance to this is because now, not only is the map, if you created the map, especially if we created the map. And that becomes like a really interesting nuance to this is because now, not only is the map, if you created the map, it's easy for me to be like, oh, the map's wrong, change it. But if I created the map, it's totally different problem. It's much harder for me to go back and say, oh man, this thing I created, I spent maybe thousands of hours on. That's wrong.
Starting point is 00:19:01 I got to do it differently, and I got to think differently about it. And I think the phrase that we use internally is outcome over ego. And it's about putting the outcome first and your ego second. And so often what we do in organizations and what we do in life is we put our ego first and the outcome second. And a great example of that is sort of knowledge workers where we go to work, we're a knowledge worker, we get paid for knowledge, right? That's inherent in the title of what we're doing. So if we're not right, what are we?
Starting point is 00:19:30 And that means we're wrong. And we can't be wrong because we're getting paid to be a knowledge worker. So, and then what happens is you start distorting reality through the lens of you being right. So it's not about who has the best idea or who gets us to the best outcome. It's about me being right.
Starting point is 00:19:45 And we never work so hard in life as we do to prove ourselves right. Even when we're wrong, we will go to the ends of the earth to be right. We'll discount evidence, we'll ignore other people, we will prove them wrong, we'll get a chip on our shoulder about it, we'll be the, I told you so person, we'll be, you know, not our best selves. And so one way to do this, and creators get this all the time. So if you think about the creator economy and sort of, I wouldn't say thought leaders as much, but people who create things for a living and rely on people buying them, it's different.
Starting point is 00:20:17 You're in a different frame of mind because you're getting constant feedback. That's sold, that didn't sell. People are telling you, you're getting a lot more nuances along the way. You want to be right, but the world will give you very clear evidence that you are wrong. And you have two choices. You won't last long in this business if you don't adapt and you don't. Same as organizations. If you don't adapt to the reality as it changes or as you learn more about it, it's unchanging, and you're going to be facing a big problem.
Starting point is 00:20:49 An additional challenge, which is faced online, are the incentives of bad actors, because as you've identified, comment sections can be a pretty ugly place to be, and you don't know whether this person's commenting from a place of good faith, is there some sort of selection effect that this particular medium or demographic or time of day or content or guest or whatever is selecting for which is skewing the kind of feedback that I'm getting. I'm not able to run this through the filters that I would be able to. So yes, I agree. The online content creator has more immediate feedback from the market. And they are in some ways closer, but in other ways, they're further away because they have a lot more noise to sift through.
Starting point is 00:21:32 Great way to put it. You had a tweet as well, talking about ego, you had a tweet that said, don't let the victories go to your head or the defeat go to your heart. How can people detect when that ego is serving them and when it's deceiving them? When you just get too high on yourself in that sense, right? Like when you're, you sort of have a win and I had a friend who inspired this and I definitely won't mention their name and hopefully they don't listen to this podcast, but they made a lot
Starting point is 00:21:57 of money on Bitcoin and it sort of, you know, it went to their head. And by went to their head, it made them think that they were a great investor. And I think that's going to lose them a lot of money in the future. There is no way that that person is going to work out who that is because there are about a hundred thousand people just in America that are in that position. Yeah, well, I only have a couple of friends so in that position So it's not it's not hard for them to discern who that is but I think that you know We just we get overconfident in our abilities and a dose of humility But it's the same for the opposite right like
Starting point is 00:22:36 You're not a bad person or you know, you don't need to give up if you read a tweet not a thousand people like it or You know that you can't let that affect your drive and your motivation. And you also can't get overconfident in your ability if you need to distinguish between when you got lucky and when you're good. And if you're good, you can't be complacent because the world won't let you be complacent. That's what I mean by letting it get to your head. If getting to your head means it affects your drive, it affects what you do and what you take on, then it's a problem. And I think the same on the opposite end, right? Your heart is where your drive comes from. And not everything is going to go the way you want it to. I mean, nobody
Starting point is 00:23:20 would have predicted the last year, but we've all come through this pretty tough year together. And for some people, it's really gut to them. It's gut to their heart, and it's sort of depressing and demotivating, and I think that it's not, it's trying not to allow that, and you control your circumstances, or not your circumstances, but you control how you respond to your circumstances
Starting point is 00:23:39 and what's happening. And so if you have a good day, that's great. You had a good day, and if you have a bad day, that's great, you had a bad day. And what I try a bad day, that's great. You had a bad day. And what I try to teach my kids is they win or they learn. Right? And so if you're in school, you're playing a video game. Maybe you lose.
Starting point is 00:23:54 What did you learn? Right? That's a win. You can look at this totally differently. Don't let it affect how motivated you are to play or you go from here, don't let it affect your heart, just help it. One of the things that helped you, I guess. Yeah, one of the things I've been thinking about a lot is how athletes deal with situations.
Starting point is 00:24:14 I've been increased, I've played sports as a kid throughout all my childhood and I'm a big fan of watching sports as well. But only recently have I realized just how beautiful of an environment for high performers it creates, it's bounded, it's got very easy to quantify objective metrics of success and failure. There are slow, contributing factors that you can get to in terms of your speed and your stamina and your power and your outputs and you can run drills which you then apply so you can kind of do a dry run of the thing that you're going to do. Me and you haven't done a dress rehearsal
Starting point is 00:24:46 of this podcast before we come on here and then do it. Right, so I'll say this and then you say that and then yeah, we'll wait for a bit. So I've just been fascinated by seeing that and one of the problems, one of the reasons I think that people become disheartened with work is that there is such a myriad of reasons about why this could have gone well about why this could have gone well,
Starting point is 00:25:10 why this could have gone badly, what contributed to my preparation or lack thereof, was it the sleep last night, was it the diet, was it the argument with the misses in the morning? And yeah, I think athletes, those that are listening, you have a very, you're blessed with a a very particular environment within which you can deploy your excellence. But it's also super competitive, right? It's, you know, you miss a step, you might be off the team. And athletes are a great example of not letting victories get to your head or defeats gets your heart. You know, if Michael Jordan, for example, playing basketball, missed a shot and let that affect his drive. Then he wouldn't be the Michael Jordan we knew. And if he, you know, won and it went to his head, he wouldn't have worked as hard in the off season to get back there next year.
Starting point is 00:25:54 And so like, I think athletes are pure sort of manifestation of that, but we're knowledge athletes in a lot of ways, right? It's just as competitive, at least if you're a competitive type person. And, you know, slight nuances, because of leverage, can make a huge difference in your ability to not only deliver for the organization, but deliver on your goals and what you want to get out of life. And I think it's important that we're not complacent. We don't coast, and we sort of keep moving forward. And what do we need to do that? Well, we can't let everything go to our head., we don't coast, and we sort of keep moving forward. And what do we need to do that?
Starting point is 00:26:25 Well, we can't let everything go to our head, and we can't let it affect our drive. So that's where that came from. Do you think it's possible to have a desire to improve that doesn't come from a place of insufficiency? This is something I've been thinking about a lot recently. People, many people that want more out of life, I think, are doing it from a place of a fear that they're not enough
Starting point is 00:26:47 as opposed to a desire to do more well i can always speak in my personal circumstances i would worded as please but not satisfied i mean i'm super happy with my life and where things are does that mean that it can't be better that I can't do more for other people that I can't live a more meaningful, fulfilling life? No, not at all. Do I have to discover what those things are?
Starting point is 00:27:11 Yeah, that's part of life. But I don't think for me, it comes from a place of insufficiency. And I think, you know, we all have drive for different reasons. Mine is a chip on my shoulder, you know, from being a kid and told that I couldn't do anything, being told that I sucked at school and I'd be lucky to pass high school and all
Starting point is 00:27:31 of those things and drive. Everybody has their own drive. And if your drive comes from insufficiency, I would sort of encourage people to change that story. Like let other people become the fuel for your fire, but you choose how that fire burns. And if it's in insufficiency, it's not a, I don't think it's a healthy fire. And I don't think it's going to burn really long and really hot. I think you need to turn that into a different sort of story that you tell yourself, which
Starting point is 00:28:00 is, I am enough. I'm enough. And if people don't think I'm enough, then maybe I have the wrong people in my life. And I think that it's really hard to get rid of people in your life because you're scared. But that's a much better choice than living your life like that for the rest of your life, where you feel like you're not enough and you feel insufficient. And I bet you, I bet you, if you did research, you go talk, go to an, actually, this would be a great example. Like go to a retirement home or something and just volunteer time there and talk to people.
Starting point is 00:28:30 And I bet you, they will all have felt those things at various points in their life, but now they'll be able to give you perspective on what they would change, what they would do differently. And I bet you they delete people from their lives a lot quicker who made them feel that way. Yeah, man. It's so strange the way that our format, if yours, when we grow up, it just embeds into the substrate of who we are, right? And then you spend, you know, you've got 10 years of imprinting and then 70 years of
Starting point is 00:28:55 deep programming. It's kind of funny. And then you need funny. Yeah, and you don't have perspective, right? You only see sort of like so for in the mental model context of relativity, right? And so the way that we learn relativity and I'll relate this back to the story in a second is create nine physics. You're on a train. You're holding a ball. The train is moving 60 miles an hour. You're holding the ball how fast is the ball moving? Well, relative to you, the
Starting point is 00:29:17 ball's not moving at all. A casual observer, it's moving 60 miles an hour as the train passes by. And as you're listening to this, if you're sitting and you're not in a car, you can say, how fast are you moving? And you feel like I'm not moving at all. You're stationary, I'm stationary. But if we put ourselves on the sun, we're moving at like 18,000 miles an hour, right?
Starting point is 00:29:37 All of a sudden. So this perspective matters. And I think we often get caught in our immediate perspective. And we're blind to the, how do we actually get caught in our immediate perspective. And we're blind to the, how do we actually put that in perspective, of life, perspective of meaning. And so talking to somebody who's older or imagining yourself being older
Starting point is 00:29:56 is a great way to get out of your current perspective and put whatever's happening in a greater, broader perspective. You probably don't wanna wake up at 90, having lived this life where you feel inefficient or insufficient to other people. That is not the way that you want to live. And you can imagine yourself at 90 and you can really work backwards and see that that's the case. Or you can sort of go talk to somebody who is 90 about this thing and they'll put it in
Starting point is 00:30:21 perspective for you in their way, right? With their wisdom, having lived a much longer life. Starting with the end in mind is such a powerful mental model to do, but it's so difficult to hold on to, man. You get caught up in the urgent, right? The day to day, you've got to reply to this email and pick the kids up while you I don't you do. And you know, all the different shit that we've got to do, right? And it's very, very easy, death by a thousand cuts, to slowly be skewed off your trajectory of where you were going,
Starting point is 00:30:53 and you can end up doing stuff that in no way contributes to what it is that you want. Yeah, I am something that I heard you mention on Rich Rolls show was that you guys take the two months off every summer. Are you guys still doing that? Totally. Things start winding down June 1st. We go to four day weeks. This year we gave August off to everybody in the entire company.
Starting point is 00:31:18 I mean, I take most of July and August off. That helps balance and perspective. Going back to what you said, you get caught up in the minutia, but the problem is we prioritize the minutia. And you should be giving yourself the best hour of the day, either for learning or the most valuable thing that you're contributing to the company. And how do you do that? Because people always say, well, I don't have time to do that.
Starting point is 00:31:41 And so, you know, you don't have time not to do that. And the way to do it is you book it in your calendar, but you don't book it for tomorrow, because you look at your calendar for the next month, your book's solid. Of course, everybody's book's solid. But you go two months out and all of a sudden, you see a 9 a.m. slot on a Monday.
Starting point is 00:31:57 Well, now you book every Monday at 9 a.m. and you book a meeting with yourself. And then you book Tuesday, Wednesday. And ideally, you get up to five days a week. You just go out as far as you need to do to do this. And then what'll happen is you'll wake up in October, and the first 90 minutes of every day at work, you know is your time.
Starting point is 00:32:16 It's your time to learn. It's your time to work on the most important thing. It's your time to sort of make decisions. But the problem is we look at our calendar next week and we're like, there's no way I can do that. And it's well, of course, because you're book solid. And that's, you know, you're making choices too, being book solid, but I would encourage you
Starting point is 00:32:33 to go way far out, book it now, make it consistent, make it repeatable, and then you never have to find time. And what ends up happening is all this minutia that doesn't really matter, gets crammed into the last hour of the day, and then you're really matter gets crammed into the last hour of the day and then you're really good at prioritizing in the last hour of the day. You're terrible at the start of the day. At the start of the day, anybody can use her for your time. They send you an email, you go on this wild goose chase, but the last hour of the day, you're like, man, I gotta get home, I gotta date or I gotta get my kids or I just want to leave the office. And so now it's like, I don't need to do that.
Starting point is 00:33:06 And then the other thing that you learn, and this is the lesson I sort of, I went to one of my bosses one day and she said, you know, balls bounce for a reason, but most balls won't bounce. And so what's important at 8 a.m. unless it's really an emergency. Often by 4 p.m. that problem has already been solved. So this thing, so you're actually going to save a ton of time and you start pushing out a lot of this stuff to the end of the day. And the other thing that I've noticed in organizations and I don't know if
Starting point is 00:33:36 this relates to some of your listeners or not, but there's people who hog your time. And by hog it, I mean, they'll send out a draft presentation. And you know, it's a shitty draft. And they'll be like, what do you think of this? And you'll spend like an hour fixing it. And what they've really done is they've outsourced their job to you. And you need to have standards.
Starting point is 00:33:57 And your standard is, you know, is this the best you can do? And they'll never say yes. They'll be like, I'm looking for comments. We'll send it to me when it's the best you can do and then I'll take a look at it, right? And that can be your standard and then people will stop annoying you with that. And I think it's really powerful way to get out of all of this because I used to get consumed. But I worked for an intelligence agency, right, which is in many ways, government. And you get consumed by this stuff and it's like, well, that's not why I signed up.
Starting point is 00:34:24 That's not what I want to do. None of this is actually productive. How do you structure your days or your weeks to be productive? Have you got that 90 minutes first thing in the morning? I have three hours. So from nine to 12, I don't book any meetings. So every morning, every day with very few exceptions, I know I don't have to find time to do what I want to do. And what I want to do can be spend time with the kids, go for a bike ride, what I want to do can be write a book, what I want to do can be whatever is the most important thing for me in that moment. It could be sleep in, right? But I never have to find the time. And the problem is we're always looking for time for the most important thing for us. And we need to change the way that we think about it and give ourselves, we get one life,
Starting point is 00:35:09 right? You could die tomorrow, I could die tomorrow. I don't want to live that life knowing that I just got caught up in email. And part of that means, you know, about three years ago, I went through this crisis where I used to answer every email I got. And I was like, it just takes like three, four hours a day answering email and I'm like, I can't do this anymore. And it's really, you know, at first, it's really hard for me because, again, staying in touch
Starting point is 00:35:42 with the medium, being connected to people. So now I read or at least skim every email, but I don't reply. And I really just don't reply to a lot of things, right? Like I won't reply to group threads at work unless I have something of value to add. And my baseline for contributing in meetings on emails and all of that doesn't start from here. I'm going to share what I know with you. It starts from, what's my unique take on this particular problem? Do I have something that you probably won't see?
Starting point is 00:36:13 Can I see a blind spot that you're missing? What do I know but this problem that you don't already know? And so often, what consumes time at work, two things. One, we're telling people what they already know because we're signaling that we did work, we're signaling that what they already know, because we're signaling that we did work, we're signaling that we're a knowledge worker, we're signaling, we're smart, but we're effectively just paraphrasing something
Starting point is 00:36:31 that everybody already knows. That's a huge waste of time. And we get stuck in this sort of rut where we're just telling people what they already know. So to change that around at your next meeting, instead of saying, what do you think of XYZ? Say, does anybody change the value of signaling to signaling something that not everybody knows? What's your unique view into this problem? And then reward people with that sort of signaling, right? So now you're giving us your contributing information
Starting point is 00:36:59 to the problem, instead of just telling us what we need to know. And if you're saying something that we already know, it's easy're saying something that we already know, it's easy to, oh, we already know that. Like that's established or you can sort of help people move to this point. And it'll take a couple of weeks for it to work its way through, but it's really effective at gathering in preformation and gathering high quality information
Starting point is 00:37:20 because what you're really trying to identify is what are our blind spots. And the other thing that consumes people at work is poor decisions. And so we get rushed into this culture where I think we've all been there. You get this briefing. It's like 70 pages, either a PowerPoint presentation or, you know, a big document with a lot of research. You read the executive summary because you have no time. You read it on the way to the meeting. And then you signal that you did the work by, you know, paraphrasing the executive summary because you have no time, you read it on the way to the meeting, and then you signal that you did the work
Starting point is 00:37:46 by paraphrasing the executive summary. Nobody's actually looked at the data, nobody understands the territory, you've only looked at the map, and then you make a decision based on that. The problem with that is that decision comes about to bite you, but it doesn't bite you right away. It'll bite you in three to four months.
Starting point is 00:38:02 And then the other way that you would think that that would be great feedback for us to make better decisions, but it's not because there's a lot of people between us and the implementation. So now we blame execution. Wasn't the decision we made. It was the execution, right? Because it's so easy to wash our hands of any, absolve our self of any responsibility. But in reality, poor initial decisions consume a ton of time at work. And what we're really doing with a lot of our time is fixing our own mistakes. We don't want to admit it to ourselves, but that could be a communication mistake, it could be a mistake in the decisions you made, it could be a mistake.
Starting point is 00:38:40 And then that consumes a ton of our time. Man, I, um, I don't think how much time has been saved and then re-lost over the last year with this switched virtual. So all of the meetings that were potentially used, I saw this amazing meme, I think it was Rory Suddle and that shared it where he said, it's this guy looking and he can't believe it, he's sort of staring into his hands
Starting point is 00:39:04 and he said, all of those meetings really could have just been video calls. And it's like, that's like the synopsis of 2020, 2020 as well. And a lot of those video calls could have been emails. And a lot of those emails could have been taxed. And a lot of those texts like, shouldn't exist. Didn't need to be sent.
Starting point is 00:39:22 Yeah. There is another thing that I've been thinking about, what to get your thoughts on. Is there a point where we should stop focusing on exploring and learning skills that we want to acquire and instead focusing on exploiting the ones that we have? This kind of growth treadmill, people constantly looking for new acquiring,
Starting point is 00:39:43 I think this probably ties in a little bit to the place of insufficiency thing. I need more, I need to know more as opposed to just focusing on exploiting and really getting stuck into the work. Two thoughts there. I think that's a false duality. I don't think it's an either or. You should always be learning and you should always be using the knowledge that you learn. I think what you're talking about in a broader sense is we're channel surfing life, right? And in a lot of ways, we're, we have a poverty of commitment because there's
Starting point is 00:40:14 so many options. So we don't want to commit to anyone option because the minute we commit, it locks us down into something and we start to get feedback and maybe we're not good and, you know, we're a beginner and it's hard. So we just we changed the channel. Remember when you're a kid and you just like flick, flick, flick, we do this with Netflix now like the endless browsing. You don't actually end up watching things. You know it's 45 minutes later and you've just sort of previewed all these shows. But in life what we really value and I was reading about this a little bit recently, what we really value, anybody that we hold up to be amazing or do incredible things, they've all committed, they've all gone all in on one particular idea, whether it be Elon
Starting point is 00:40:58 Musk or Jeff Bezos or whoever, it doesn't really matter, right? Any athletes, same thing, right? They've gone same thing, right? They've gone all in on what they're doing. And so we really value it in other people, but we're scared to commit to something for ourselves. And so we endlessly like channel surf. We're always looking for the new latest hack. We're always looking for the new way to do things.
Starting point is 00:41:20 When, you know, in reality, it's the boring things that actually lead to the outcomes, right? Michael Jordan, the best basketball player in the world, and he's just top of mind, because I've been reading about him recently. First pass that he would practice at every practice was a chess pass. Well, he learned how to do a chess pass when he was like five. It is literally the most basic pass in basketball, and you have somebody at the pinnacle of the career working on their chess paths. And, have somebody at the pinnacle of the career working on their chest pads.
Starting point is 00:41:47 And that's all in, that's commitment to one thing. And that comes with consequences, it comes with costs. And it might mean that we're wrong. And I think that's what we're really scared of. And so if we endlessly channel surf, we're never going to be wrong, but we're never going to be right either. And I think that that's really interesting
Starting point is 00:42:04 from you need to decide how you live your life, not let other people tell you how you live your life. You need to decide what's meaningful for you. You need to decide what you're going to commit to, what's worth committing to and what's not. But if the answer is nothing's worth committing to, then the problem isn't the options available to you. The problem is you. The problem is you. I love that. I was reading the power of marginal by Paul Graham. It's quite an old blog posts. Now, okay, he says the more successful people become, the more heat they get, if they screw up or even seem to screw up in this respect, as in many others, the eminent are prisoners of their own success. As your platform grows and FS.Blog gets more and more renown,
Starting point is 00:42:48 do you sense this at all? Do you have any strategies that avoid becoming too concerned about the success and about what comes with that? Well, the success isn't really about me. We call it FS.Blog for a reason. Not shame, shame, shame, shame, shame, it's great.blog for a reason. It's sort of shame. Shame on how she's great.com, yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:43:07 Yeah, well, definitely not that, right? Because it's not, and then our tagline, the one that sticks all the time, is mastering the best of what other people have figured out. And so I don't have the answers. I mean, I've come up with nothing original in my life. And so I don't, I think the popularity is for the website. The popularity is for the concept. The popularity is for learning. The popularity isn't on popular. And I don't see it that way.
Starting point is 00:43:34 And I mean, I don't, I definitely don't think of myself as that way. And you know, I was talking with my buddy James Clear about this the other day. He had this wonderful phrase where he's like, I want to be the most well-known person that nobody recognizes. I thought that that was really interesting. Not being recognized or approached and having a big audience. The question is, why do you want a big audience? Is it for a big impact or is it because you want a big audience because that's your fast car or that's your your sort of internal ego driving you and I think you know for
Starting point is 00:44:10 me I see Fernum Street as a project that outlives me and so I'm just a caretaker or curator at this point in time and there'll be another person behind me who does the same thing under the same brand with the same audience or a new audience, but it just continues because what we're talking about doesn't change, what's valuable, learning, we might have to re-contextualize some of the lessons for today's day and time, but we'll still be talking about the same issues. And so I don't view the website as like my lifetime. I view it as something that surpasses me, something that lives in infamy, and hopefully just goes on forever, right? And, but it's not
Starting point is 00:44:51 about Shane, it's not about me, it's not about anything that I do. I'm just the temporary steward of this. You sound a lot like the dread pirate robots here. It's like Russell Bridge meets Shane Parish. There's a quote from a buddy Rob Henderson who says, you want everyone to know your name and no one to know your face. Oh yeah, that's it. I'll pass that on to James. Yeah, that's really interesting. I think Rory's identified the optimal level of fame as sometimes having someone come up to you in the airport. That was his definition of the optimal level of fame. Well, yeah, I think so, but like on the internet,
Starting point is 00:45:28 it's different, right? Because now people can attack you and people can make up stories about you and they can try to take you down a peg. Even if they don't know you, they've never met you, the stories are false, they can carry their own weight. I think that there's a bit of a different world now where you used to be able to that one crazy person if there was one could yell in an
Starting point is 00:45:54 airport or a theater and cause a scene, but the number of people impacted are tens. Now it's thousands and possibly millions. The I think that the world is different now and we haven't quite adjusted to what that means. And we'll have to find some way to do that because we don't want to prevent people from sharing their thoughts and you mentioned Pallagrams, essay Pallagrams, a great example of somebody who's profound thinker,
Starting point is 00:46:21 great essayist, great writer. And we don't want to discourage the next Paul Graham because they don't want. And so I think anonymity is going to be a big thing. And I think that that's going to, whether it's enabled by the blockchain or something else, I think that people want to have an identity that's online that might be detached from them as a person.
Starting point is 00:46:42 And everybody online, we already do this when you think about it, because we just show part of ourself online. You don't see my whole life. You see sort of what I'm thinking about. You don't see my time with my kids, you don't see any of it. So we just see one part of people. So if we detach people's identities from their self and we put them out there as here's one part of me, I'm going to put that out there, and maybe it'll be controversial. And that'll be good because now we can start playing with ideas a bit more again, right? We've stopped that because if you're fairly popular on any platform, you don't want to do anything too controversial.
Starting point is 00:47:18 And so you might not say what you actually think, but that in itself is suppressing ideas being shared, suppressing freedom of speech, suppressing other people benefiting from that. You might be wrong and you get feedback that you're wrong, right? But now you don't want to put it out because you're too big, there's too much at risk, there's loss of version about what you're doing. And I think that that we need to fix that because we want the best ideas. We want them to circulate.
Starting point is 00:47:42 We want people to talk freely. And I don't mean that in any political sense. I just mean it in sharing ideas, technology, moving the world forward, equalizing opportunity amongst everybody. So we all start with a level playing field. Not that we end up with a level playing field, but we start with a more level playing field. I'm still undecided about the future
Starting point is 00:48:02 of the anonymous creator economy. George Mack, mutual friend is super bullish on it. Adiment that that's going to be the future. I appreciate given your background and how the blog started that it makes a turn of sense. The one flying the ointment that I see is that people follow people. They don't follow things traditionally. You know, you think Christiana Ronaldo has 40 million followers, Real Madrid has 16 million Elon Musk has doubled the amount that any of his
Starting point is 00:48:30 companies do while added together because we require that maybe the anonymity will permit people to get around that. Perhaps we'll get used to the persona following the persona not the person. But I'm not sure. And that will be. But I mean, Fernand Street started as an anonymous blog. Yep. And it would have been a lot quicker to build an audience. I can 100% say that with confidence if I started it under my name. Shane Parachis Greg.com, I'm telling you, that's the one to do. Final question, man. Elie Zayukowski tweeted this the other day.
Starting point is 00:49:00 And it's amazing, such a good question. If you were a character in a book, what would your readers be yelling at you to do? Oh, that's a great question. What would they be yelling at me to do? Probably be more open about working in intelligence agency. Be more open about stories. Do more interviews. This is what people already yell at me to do. I keep my profile pretty looky for some of this. I would say do more, speak more in the podcast because I don't talk a lot in our podcast and
Starting point is 00:49:46 I think that that's what I already get yelled at so I would assume that that is to scale it up a bit and you know That's okay because that's not me. That's not what I want to do So I just need to live a life that in accordance with what I want and what I value and live a life that in accordance with what I want and what I value and doing things just to grow or get myself out there more, that don't have another purpose that aren't going to help our mission, don't really help me. Well, I'm glad that you broke the habit today and joined me, fs.blog. Where else should people go to check out your stuff? At ShaneA Parish, PA.
Starting point is 00:50:24 Double R.I.S Shane A. Parish, P-A-D-L-R-I-S-H on Twitter. And if you're just Google Shane Parish, you'll find a whole bunch of stuff. And yeah, we'd love for you to follow along and join us on our mission. I love it, man. Thank you so much. Thanks, Chris.
Starting point is 00:50:36 Really appreciate this. Get away, get away, get away

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