Modern Wisdom - #362 - James Smith - Dating, Finances & Happiness

Episode Date: August 23, 2021

James Smith is a PT and not a life coach. It's a weird time to be alive. The rules are completely out of the window for dating, finding a balance between socialising and work is basically impossible, there are a million different ways to organise your personal finances and that's before you even start to throw Tinder into the mix. Expect to learn why James is actually glad to be back from Australia, the optimal approach for getting a kangaroo to tap out in BJJ, what's interesting about being a guy in your 30's without kids, why James doesn't want to invest his money into property and much more... Sponsors: Get over 37% discount on all products site-wide from MyProtein at http://bit.ly/modernwisdom (use code: MODERNWISDOM) Get 20% discount on Reebok’s entire range including the amazing Nano X1 at https://geni.us/modernwisdom (use code MW20) Extra Stuff: Order Not A Life Coach - https://amzn.to/30VkVdb Join James' Academy - https://www.jamessmithacademy.com/ Get my free Reading List of 100 books to read before you die → https://chriswillx.com/books/ To support me on Patreon (thank you): https://www.patreon.com/modernwisdom - Get in touch. Join the discussion with me and other like minded listeners in the episode comments on the MW YouTube Channel or message me... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chriswillx Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/chriswillx YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/ModernWisdomPodcast Email: https://chriswillx.com/contact/  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's happening people welcome back to the show my guest today is James Smith He's a PT and not a life coach. We are talking about finding success in dating Finances and happiness. It's a weird time to be alive The rules are completely out of the window for dating finding a balance between socializing in work is Basically impossible. There are a million different ways to organize your personal finances, and that's before you even start to throw Tinder into the mix. Thankfully, me and James have obviously led flawless lives where we've never made any mistakes and have this perfectly laid out life plan, so today we're going to put the world

to rights and give you our best advice. Expect to learn why James is actually glad to be back from Australia, the optimal approach for getting a kangaroo to tap out in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, what's interesting about being a guy in your 30s without kids, why James doesn't want to invest his money into property, and much more. If you are new here, or if you're a long time listener, make sure that you have hit the subscribe button. It is the only way that you can ensure that you will never miss an episode.

And it makes me very happy and it supports the podcast. So just open your little app and press the plus button in the corner or press follow or subscribe in the middle of the page. I thank you. But now it's time for the wise and wonderful James Smith James Smith, welcome to the show Thanks for having me back. Difficult second album today. I'd say that.

Well, the different, you have a good debut and then the second one you've got to keep up with the talent, you know. Dave, you're thinking about films as well, often the second one is never as good as the first, but I've got faith because we were saying just off air now, I've got a proper setup. I'm sat at a desk, I feel professional. I've got a professional microphone. I'm ready. Yeah, so even if what you're saying is Bollocks, at least it looks the part. As long as I've got good hand gestures for people watching on YouTube and I can command

the conversation using those, we should be. Like a guy doing the weather. Like a weather guy. So we've got a cold front moving in from the north and some interesting points coming in from the south. So obviously you are now subscribed to my newsletter like everybody else should be. And in it this week I identified the percentage of Britons

that thought they could beat different animals in a fight. So 45% of Brit think that they could beat a goose. 38% think that they could beat a medium sized dog. 18% thought that they could beat an eagle and then 5% thought that they could beat a goose, 38% think that they could beat a medium-sized dog, 18% thought that they could beat an eagle and then 5% thought that they could beat a kangaroo. What do you think is the largest animal that you could realistically beat in a fight? Before we do that, we need to set the ground rules of what victory is. The animal either runs away or it's dead or it's immobilized. Okay, because I'm a purple-bellied digit,, you know, if I take the back of a kangaroo

and I've got seatbelt under over, I've got, you know, control over that, I've got two hooks in behind the legs, no rotational control of the kangaroo, there's not going to be a verbal tap. So, I think kangaroos dead. No, no, no, no, no, just got control, just got control, I'm going to look at the adjudicator and be like, have I won? Because if you want me to kill this kangaroo, then there's going to be a conflict of interest there. I don't think many people have been really looking at the rules set, being a BJJ practitioner.

I need to know the rules, where I'm going to accumulate points. With some animals like a goose, I might pull God, slide in on my bum, you know, take away the threat, then that goose steps into the guard, next thing, you know, half guard, deep half, get a sweep and up on top. I think that most of these animals, the advantage comes from behind, but the problem is, especially with a goose and a kangaroo, their reach,

you're going to have to try and fight the reach. Because kangaroos do that sort of double, like the drop kick thing, and that's going to be challenging for you, because you're not going to be used to striking at BJJ. Well, that's okay, because I'll catch the leg that they kick with, and then we'll do a run the pipe, which is a wrestling move, to sit them down. So, you know, I reckon I could have a few animals. What about an eagle? Again, the size discrepancy, I wouldn't really know how to go about it, and I wouldn't want to hurt the eagle either. So, you know, I reckon I could have a few animals. What about an eagle? Again, the size discrepancy, I wouldn't really know how to go about it, and I wouldn't want to hurt the eagle either. So, you know, when it comes to altercations, I still think I'd probably end up running away,

but I'm not sure if I'm honest. I probably won't, you know, if I could fight any animal, actually, you know, I'd say a monkey, but they're way too strong. So, I don't know if I'm honest. I'm really not sure. 66% of Brits think that they could beat a house cat, which means that 34% think that the house cat would win. That really concerns me. Like a cat is literally designed to be drop kicked over a fence. Like it's the

exact size, it's the perfect distance off the ground. If you can get it, literally, how far do you reckon you could kick a cat? 20, 20 meters. Easily. Yeah. I mean, have you heard of the saying that a dead cat still bounces? Yeah, I don't know what it means though. So like when people are on their way out of success, right, they say like, you know, you could still book them for an event.

You know, let's say you find someone from a hit to you. What was too hot to handle? The first season, you could still get one from someone from season one, put them in a nightclub in Windsor, and they would still sell tickets. They're a dead count. A dead cat, it was still about to drop it from enough height. Okay. So how far it falls is still going to bounce and the kind of adage, as I believe it, is that, yeah, you can still get a dead cat to bounce, if you drop it from enough height. Did you know that the terminal velocity of a cat

is non-fatal? That would make a lot of sense seeing as they've jumped from buildings and it's mad. Have you seen, there was a video on the internet the day of a guy jumping out of a window of like a fourth fifth story floor, hit the deck hard and just got up and legged it. How he, how he, what did he land on like grass or pavement? Like grassy grassy kind of slippery slope on to concrete but his butt hit the ground. Like if he broke his tailbone it wouldn't surprise me. Yeah. But the adrenaline he'd got up and run. And the police officers come around a few minutes later

and they're like no way. No one could have survived that. It was like some parkour shit. You know when you see them leap from buildings and then just land and roll. But yeah again batch of question if it was first blood then a cat could win versus a human quite quick. Actually, a little needle claws., I've invented something called dog guard, which is when I sit on the floor and I try and take a dog's back because of the nature of them having four legs. It is and you don't want to hurt the dog. There is certain techniques you need to use when fighting with animals, but what different breeds of dogs have you tried this on? Labra door mostly. I know RSPCA they're ready right now. Yeah. I need to get us in criminate and

I'll say the thing is, if you drive your car later and accidentally hit a car, they'll come for you. But they'll say this was premeditated. Okay. But if you submit a Labrador, as long as it's adjudicated and the Labrador's signed a form of consent then it's actually fine. Yeah, absolutely fine. Cool, I think that I actually think that there's probably a potential future for this.

All right, so you're back from Australia now, how are you finding it in the UK? Do you know what, one of the things that I'm celebrating about being back is the caliber of great guests that I can talk to on podcasts. You're saying that Australia doesn't have any interesting people in it, James? I've just been through them all. No, I'm not. I'm not saying that. Well, yeah, but then there's the guests as well. In Australia, there's certainly a more limited pool, let's say, especially of people that really interest me. And it's very great to be in London where I see that someone's

in London, hey, can we do a podcast? You know, in the last four days, I've had two Black Belt World champions come on the podcast, Brawlio, Steema, and then this morning, Fiona Davies, I was like, in what world can you just message two world champions to come on another chat? So that I'm very grateful for the fact we're fully open Australia is now in full lockdown is great and yes it's good to be back and see family as well. Do you know what's really bad people say from a psychological standpoint when you ask to answer a question in like bullet points often it's in the hierarchy of importance in your mind. James, James obviously likes his podcast. A lot more than he likes his family.

That's funny. What about Australia? Because you'll have friends and how ex housemates and stuff that are still over there. What are they saying it's like? Pretty miserable at the moment where obviously we're only ever showing like the behind the scenes kind of highlight reals of what's actually going on there so people are gonna be like oh we're down the beach sunny day blue skies or whatever but for a lot of them there's they can't train they've got no sport they can find to their houses there are helicopters going around saying go inside military have been deployed to Sydney to keep people inside the fines have

gone up to like two and a half thousand pounds. I saw some bulletin list the other day saying that you can get huge fines for lying about your whereabouts lying about contact tracing. Yeah, and there's even you're not allowed within a five kilometer radius of where you live. So even if you go to exercise and do you know outside of a five kilometer radius of where you live. Yeah, so like within a five kilometer radius would be very difficult because then you'd never be able to go home. You just have all of these different people like circling apartment blocks. Yeah, they they can do that but like if you're going to say a shopper war with that's really far away, they'll go that's not within five kilometers where you live, that's not permitted. So it's very draconian and it must be quite upsetting

to know that you're 18, 19 months into a pandemic and you're effectively at day zero. I mean, the vaccine uptake is about 25% at the moment. Why do you think that is? I think that Australia didn't feel enough pain from the pandemic, if I'm honest. I think that pain is one of the most powerful motivators. To, you know, once you experience trauma and pain, some people fold from it, but other people grow from it. And in the UK, there was so much pain, trauma, lockdown, the vaccination was, you know,

understandably the way out the people took it. They didn't want to exist. Do you see the vaccine as folding or being or growing from it? In what sense, what do you mean? Well, you said that there's two ways that people respond to pain, one of them's folding Is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine? It's a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine or is it a vaccine thought that gave us a position to be quite valiant with it. Hey, you've got something that you're saying is going to get me out of this. Everyone else is unsure, put it in my arm. And I mean, the people that participate in those trials. Like, that is extraordinary, you know, nobility from people to go there and say, you know, I don't care what you say and put that in my arm. We can get out of this pandemic. Half of them got a placebo. And I think it's very

valiant just the way that these communities have come together to go do it. I was nervous getting the vaccine because of the misinformation that is, is touted. And I'm, I'm rather evidence-based with my, my thinking, I believe anyway. And I was still nervous going there and I was looking at the sheet of potential side effects and I'll never forget I had a client in the gym, a very wealthy guy and he was overworked stressed and is wifey to me. You will never train my husband unless he has a heart attack. Then he has a scare, he comes in the next week, he goes, all right, I had a bit of a heart attack, I'm going to start training. A bit of a heart attack. A bit of a heart attack or at least a bit of a scare. He trained with me, but he didn't really sort his life out. As a consequence, he suffered Bell's paulsy, right inside of his face collapsed,

and he comes in and he goes, I've got two million pounds in my current account, but I can't fix this. And that resonated with me so much that you can't buy your way out of you know poor health is always visible but something like that which can happen to healthy people don't get me wrong that was a you know to randomly for that to happen you was like doctors weren't sure exactly what the causation was but I was thinking imagine if that had happened today and he's about 50 60 so he would have been vaccinated 100% he's going to go look what the vaccine did to my face. And we've suddenly lost all logical thought processes

surrounding bad things happening to people, pre-vaccine, you know, I was pausing occurs, adults randomly die sometimes. Some of the stuff going on online of people having like seizures. This happened before vaccines exist. And then people go, she was perfectly fit and healthy. She went and got the vaccine two weeks later.

This is what's happening. And celebrities are sharing it. I'm seeing it and I'm shitting myself. I'm, oh no, my vaccine's broken in two days. I've had friends who've had to go for therapy before they've got their vaccine. They've had to go sit down with a therapist so that they wouldn't be so nervous.

They wouldn't have an anxiety attack going in to get it. But that's a really interesting narrative that no one, but very few people have been talking about. Everyone that's been very anti-vaccine has seen themselves as standing up to the man that this is the courageous, valiant thing to do. But what you highlighted there, there's something called the tragedy of the commons that you get with the free rider problem. So herd immunity is required for us to reach it in order for the economy to be open back up. If the deaths and the cases were linked the same as they'd been a year ago, the UK would still be in lockdown. The only reason that we're now back open

is because the deaths have reduced. The reason that the deaths have reduced is because everybody's vaccinated. That's what's decoupled cases from mortality because you get lower infection, load, so on and so forth. So you were totally correct. If you are someone that says, okay, I understand that in order to get this country back moving in order to make other people who maybe can't get the vaccine to get their lives safe, I need to do something which I know hasn't associated risk with it.

And I'm going to take on that cost. But what you get is this free rider problem where the person who decides to just hold out and not get the vaccine and not get the vaccine and not get the vaccine ends up benefiting from herd immunity just as much as the person who does, but they don't have to take on some of the potential risks that come associated with the side effects of it.

So that free rider problem turns a lot of the narratives that people have had upside down. It's like, okay, so who's the valiant one? Like if I'm scared of taking the vaccine, if I know that there are some potential health risks, the same ones that you do, but I'm prepared to go, okay, I'm gonna stick this in my arms so that we can get the country back moving,

so that we can get the economy back working, so that people who can't get the vaccine can actually feel a little bit more safe. But my cleaner, my cleaner can't get the vaccine because she's got some ongoing health concerns. So the only way that she could have come back to work in my house is if everybody in this house who's got the vaccine,

I didn't just get it for the cleaner, but that's an example. There's also a lot of virtually signaling that's going on from people not getting the vaccine. And you're like, oh, you're not better than people because you've stood up to the man. But in Australia, it's very interesting because when I left Queensland, I saw like in Brisbane, Gold Coast, New South,

I had only experienced I think six or nine COVID deaths, the entire pandemic, the whole time. New South Wales, maybe 200, the entire pandemic. We had 70, 80 days with no cases in transmission. So like, we were like, oh, yeah, COVID, you know, you, you wouldn't have any, the statistical chances of me getting COVID in Australia were so small because no one had it. There were no transmissions in the community. I actually got a really bad cold. And when I got really bad cold, I said, I don't know where I'm getting tested because if I get tested, and it turns out I'm one of five million people that've got COVID. I'm done. I'll get cancer out of the out of the

country yet. Yeah, James Smith, COVID-basted. There's always like shaming like over here you get tested, find it's normal. It's like, you know, anything. It's just like, oh Dave's got COVID, oh, I see. I thought he had it already in Australia. When I got the sniffles, I was like, it's best not be COVID, you know, and I I jerked around and said to In Australia, when I got the sniffles, I was like, it's best not to be COVID. And I jerked around and said to people, like, if Clamidia went away in two weeks, you'd never get tested. You just do your own thing,

keep the dick in your pants and you'd be fine. Right? Someone's like, give me a commit nodding. They're not going about. You go from someone else. And so I think because of that, because the problem wasn't so severe, you didn't know anyone that died of COVID and you're showing your friends, your family, very rarely, some people because of that, because the problem wasn't so severe, you didn't know anyone

that died of COVID, not showing your friends, your family, very rarely. Some people are going to go, what about the old people? I'm a 30 year old, the lives in Sydney. I don't know any 90 year olds, my family role in the UK. So there wasn't enough trauma for people to be motivated to do it. And the premier of Queensland actually came out and said, I'm not anti-vax, but so far, I think the AstraZeneca is causing blog plots in one in 10,000.

If you put that across the population of Queensland and the fact we've only had six or nine deaths, statistically we're gonna have 20 more deaths from the vaccine than we were COVID. As she was completely right. So you've got that as far as a political kind of problem, Australia is still aiming for a zero COVID country, which is very difficult with the variance hotel quarantine, the draconian nature

of that. Olympians coming back from Tokyo, if you live in South Australia, you've had to quarantine twice. Two weeks since Sydney, flight to Adelaide, and two weeks since Alpha Australia, 28 fucking days. And now, am I mental here? Are we not in a position where we can get 100% COVID test in a quarantine environment within a shorter period than 14 days? And some people are like, oh, but some people don't

have symptoms until day 10 or whatever. Take a pint of my blood, right? Do what you need to do. But if you can determine, I've not got it, let me the fuck out. You know what I mean? Well, I had a couple of friends who were comedians that went over to go and do tours and they had to do the same thing. And you just watch someone slowly descend into madness as they went over and spent all of their time in this hotel being delivered sort of prefabricated meals that were already made there. Thankfully, they've got a few of them have got quite big following, so they'd managed to get fans to come and throw weed onto their balcony from a park that was down below. So people were coming,

throwing bags of weed and sweets and like cans and other stuff up onto the balcony. But yeah, I don't know man. It's a deliver food to the actual place and say can you take this up? So for instance, you get Uber Eats and deliver Roo. So that comes into the reception that goes straight up. So if you have a food delivery for a friend, you could put weed brownies. So I've heard in a bag. And the hotel will take it right up to their room. I imagine that just 14 days absolutely baked out if you mind. You just come out as a vegetable.

No career though. During when in and he did 14 days come out for our Australia shows who grew 70,000 followers. He became that everyone wanted to know what how he's losing his mind and for him, he's a very disorganized person, being in the same room for two weeks was perfect for him. He really constrained all of the things that he was getting wrong in his normal life. Two of my friends were literally day 13, they were like, I'm not sure I'm ready to leave. You know that? Got Stockholm syndrome. Keep me in here.

Exactly, yeah, they actually genuinely felt like that. For me, like, going back and I'm sitting on a hotel room for two weeks, as long as they're like Australia on the other side, and I get to go out and jump in the beach at Bondi. That's fine, but the people having to do it come back to the UK having to do it, like an IBIS in Heathrow. Not almost glamorous of kind of scenarios,

but it is quite depressing. I know that some people in Australia wanted to travel to New Zealand where their parents were very imporbitive health. There was a case of one girl who asked if she could go back and see her mum because her mum was dying. And while she knew Zealand said you've got a quarantine, and as she was quarantined her mum died. So she said, can I come out and go see her? They said, no, there was a chance she was going to miss her mum's funeral. They managed to push the funeral back a little bit later. And then she went to a mum's funeral and then had to do two weeks on the way back. So she was a month away from her partner. You've got people suffering with bereavement, loss of loved ones. And so many people

forget that isolation, isolation is the worst punishment given to human beings. If you go to prison and you like Charles Bronson, Charles Bronson, so it's done like the most of our solitary confinement, if you are the worst treated person or the worst person planet, you are solitary confined. And now we are dishing out months and years of solitary confinement to people in prevention of spreading a virus that's already in the country. But the alternative is to a let it run rampant, right? It's difficult from a policy perspective

to just say, oh, well, we'll let it out. People don't need to do the quarantine because you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. Like, this is one of the situations. Like, the only people apparently that knew exactly what policies should have been done are the press commenting on something that happened four weeks ago, like perpetually, over the last 18 months, they always had the right answer, but not at the time, they had it in retrospect after a month. You know, like, well, do you really think that the people in charge of your country want more people to die? Like how, yeah, I'm sure that some of the people at the top probably psychopaths and sociopaths and people that don't have empathy have snuck through. But like on mass, that the entire global leadership is just trying to decimate their own countries. It's, it's more so the fact that there's no kind of logical thinking with this, like

I would happily wear an ankle tag and be on house arrest. I would happily have, I would pay a security a very good wage for two weeks to stand at my front door and to make sure I don't fucking leave. I'll pay that guy 200 pound a day. She'll let me be in a home. She'll let me have a garden. Let me have somewhere to sit. Let me employ someone to make sure I don't leave the house. You know, I mean put cameras out, put a tag on me, whatever, but let me live like a human. You know, to not get fresh air is one of my weirdest concerns. We did an event in Leeds last week and there was a room between the backstage area and the main stage area and it had no ventilation in it, so it was a really old building and I felt claustrophobic in it.

There was a big room and I said there's no one else bothered that there's no fresh air in it, like there's no ventilation. I panic in those kind of environments, and when you get into hotels where there's no window to open, for a few hours fine to sleep, fine, but two weeks without having fresh air come in, I already worry what that's going to make me feel like. And some celebrities, if you go, there was some

Jordy Shore cast that went out and they had outdoor balconies, seating areas, they'd rooms on next to each other, so they could see each other, poor Charlotte from Jordy Shore, flew out two weeks quarantine, then the show got been, because of their outbreak and had to come back.

Yeah. Fully fucked it. Yeah. So it's quite annoying, there's a rule for one and different rule for another and you've kind of got to have contacts in TV if you want to have a balcony. But if I got stuck off to get a fucking balcony, let me know if you can't do it. No one can.

Exactly. The SAS boys got their own machines on their balconies. I'd like that, but just I probably wouldn't use it. Another thing that I've been really fascinated by recently is sort of modern dating dynamics, especially in the era of love island and Instagram and Tinder, relationships seem so interesting to me, especially as women start to be more educated and outperform men in employment. What have you been thinking about to do with this? You noticed anything interesting?

From a dating dynamic, do you know what? I know you've had him on the podcast before Jordan Peterson, the kind of insight that he has about intelligent women being harder to settle up. They're less inclined to get married because for a woman, it is often a prerequisite to have a husband who is more intelligent. That's what they would like and what they would see can the more intelligent a woman the smaller the poor for potential partners as a council part. However for men they do not have that same prerequisite in the other direction because they have this macho kind of you know sense of providing and looking after. Now there are going to be some people that disagree without you're going to have outliers but that's pretty much it. On average. On average, yeah.

So now that you know, that's just something that dynamic I never really thought about before. Do you know what, since we've last spoken and I actually read a book called Attached? Have you read this? No. So one of my ex-girlfriends told me to read it, showing nothing. And I left it unread for a very long time. One of my housemates had the physical hard copy. I'm gonna go back. I said, right, okay, I'm gonna listen to it. I'll listen to it, it's like running.

And it's been criticized for not having enough categories. But you have secure, then you have avoidant, then you have anxious. So you've got these three broad categories. And when the traits were explained, I knew straight away I was avoidant, straight away. And I've never felt like I've been spoken to in a book before. All my traits and secure people aren't very omnipresent in the dating scene because they're in relationships because they're secure. So if you go on to a date

nap, I'm now come to realize the majority people are either anxious or avoidant. Now if I start chatting to an avoidant person, we're probably not even going to kick off because we're both avoidant. There's not enough there. Now if I end up finding a secure person, often there's not enough fireworks and you think they're quite boring and you go straight past a partner that would have been a good idea. And I'm now come to realize that a lot of people that I know that are in successful long-term relationships, the beginning of their relationship was never special. They were friends or they went on a few dates or they hung out or they

played on the swim, they played at the same rugby club, and then over time, it's only month two, three and four, they realize how perfect they are for each other. Then you've got this poisonous, avoidant and anxious connection where if you put an avoidant and anxious person together, there's fireworks in the onset and I've realized so many of my previous relationships, I've dated anxious women and it's like two ends of a magnet that shouldn't be together and I spot this now when I look at my friends. If an anxious person is feeling unloved, this mind is standing anyway. They've taken something called protesting behavior and when they put've taken protesting behavior, they cause an argument out of something that never

had grounds for an argument. And they create this kind of protest because they want to feel loved by the other person. They need re-confirmation of the other person's love for them. But as an avoidance attachment style myself, when I see that protesting behavior, I distance myself from it. I'm like, whoa, you're acting a bit crazy, you know? I'm like, whatever you know, what are you doing? So that avoidant person becomes more detached. The anxious person becomes more crazy trying to get the reaction and you kind of drift further apart. And then the avoidant person just disconnects, disconnects, disconnects, disconnects, and the relationship goes to shit. And that is literally probably the last four serious relationships I've had. And I read this book and I was like, oh shit, I've been

dating the wrong type of people. It was all here. Yeah, but people confuse the, that sort of flirtation and the little bit of energy at the start for a spark, right? That the, the fact that you have a little bit of friction that can cause heat. This person's interesting, they challenge me, there's something different about them. And then down the line, you think, well, this is fun for dating, but do I actually want to roll this into a long-term relationship with someone that we're constantly each of the throats? It's a really difficult pill to swallow to realize that the onset of a relationship

of someone who's not right for you is amazing. And then it dies out. And often the onset of a relationship with someone's amazing view feels quite dull. And people, if they're in a stage of their life or their dating, they might just cast them aside and move on to something that feels better. And a friend of mine called me this morning, really angry about like a disagreement it had with the girl you seeing. And I said, you're, I said, you're an anxious person, you're partaking and protesting behavior And I said do you have them got the reaction you want from her and now you're mad and venting to me I go the factual speaking to me is because you're so annoyed she hasn't given you the reaction you want and I was like fuck

I read one book about dating and I'm already now seeing things differently You know that when the first time you find out about macros, protein, carbs, fat, it's like, I look at things like that now. I'm like, I see the code. I see the number. Yeah, the red pills put pure red pills. And like, so that helped me understand a lot about myself really. And the date and team where I am avoidant, and I have a theory that being successful in whatever line of work you do gives you a permit, a permit to be extra

avoidant because if something's not working out or there's an argument or I start distancing myself from someone because they're protesting or they're annoying or there's no compatibility. Similar to yourself, we have work we can fall back on. A constant variable that's always there supporting us and you're seeing someone right now, right? Correct. Let's say she starts making her life hell. The demons are currently on her head going, fuck you.

If I get rid of you, I could do an extra podcast every day. I can develop my business, what I do, and my legacy, if I eradicate you and place it to work. Well, there's a comfort zone there, right? There's always this fallback plan. There's always something there that you know that you've got going on. It's actually kind of like being in two relationships at once. It is.

It's like being in a relationship with the person that you're seeing and also being in a relationship with your work and knowing that if that one starts to piss you off, that you've got something that you can put your love and your energy and your attention into and you will get love and energy and attention back. And yeah, I think that it makes for a very interesting dynamic when you have somebody that doesn't need the partner. And I suppose that a lot of attachment probably comes from a place of insecurity. And also, if your ego gets hurt a little bit and you don't want to swallow that you can just quite quickly even if it's even if it's not an insecurity you can just think well

fuck it I'm just going to focus on something that I actually can predict because that was completely irresponsible of them to say. Yeah and then you can uh such as myself go and put out good content make video and you can get your almost addictive dopamine serotonin hits from a digital device, which is fucked. Now, in a position where, you know, I could go cold shoulder on the person who's giving me grief, where really in a relationship argument should be a time where, you know, a bit like training a muscle, you create damage, it comes back stronger, create damage, come back stronger, and you're progressively overloading, and that trauma that occurs is a part of the growing process, but it becomes so easy when you are, you know, successful in your room, right, when you're working for yourself, let's say actually, because that's probably the metric of success I'm using, so easy to just turn your way on that and go to the other relationship, and then you go, oh, and this is the dangerous assumption. You're like, if I do that and make more money and get more

successful, I can set up for my future life, my future life, my future this. And having talking about a utopian version of a future wife is a classic trait of an avoidant attachment style. And I was like, when I was a thousand, oh, fuck. I wanted to move back to Australia, build the business, get the family, buy the dog, do the this thing. They're all justifications for why you don't need to put up with difficulties in the now. And that is classic of wisdom, so.

And I thought that was just me. And then I realized that everyone of the same, the same, the same, the same, and I was like, fuck, and I've actually used that sometimes to create distance between former lovers, where I think I'm a future wife, Fenk and I, like that, she isn't gonna say that. She isn't gonna behave like that, go on, get out of here. You know what I mean? So I've realized that a lot of these flaws

that exist in my thinking towards relationships is based on how I am. And that apparently is governed from how you're brought up. But you need to have variation in attachment styles as part of like evolutionary kind of traits. You need these kind of outliers who, if I always think as if I was a primitive human, I was like, I'll be out killing world of beasts and shit,

bringing back legs of meat and pillaging through all the women in the camp. You know, I like, I probably would quite like to just go hunt on my own. And I was like, that's probably why I, you know, I like working on my own. I like, I'm very much an ambiver. I have my extrovert moments. I might introvert moments. And in the digital age with social media, it's never been easier to be,

you know, introverted and avoidant and still yet, hit quotes as all the things that... But you get to be extroverted on your own terms. You get to pick when it is that you do it. And this is one of the reasons why I love doing the podcast that if I was, I'm good buddies with Mike Thurston as an example, and he's pretty much constantly vlogging. If he wants to put out two or three videos a week, he actually needs to capture quite a lot of content, he needs to do shit. He can't just sit down, have a conversation.

He actually has to do shit. He has to go on a boat, or go to the gym with Larry Wheels, or fucking do whatever, buy a new car. So he has to do stuff, and he's constantly on, always, always on. But that suits his personality type, because he's sort of this quite gregarious outgoing sort of like dude who's super ex-reverted and always has buddies around him.

I'd be like, fuck man, like I need. So last week I was in London and I did Rebel Wisdom on Wednesday. I did Lotus Seatless podcast on Friday. I spent a full day with my buddy Alex or Connor Cosmic Skeptic on another day and then on Saturday did GB news. It's like, I literally, for the first time in as long as I can remember, I spent four days and maybe like an hour a day waking was on my own and the rest of the time was around other people. And I came back on Saturday night and I was completely wrecked. Like, this is, I mean, it was awesome and fun, but I needed that time to rest and recuperate and designing your life and whatever your creative pursuits are and the job that you have and the partner that you're with around, okay, where do I get my

energy from? Do I have a partner who constantly needs me? If I'm someone who actually enjoys their time on their own, then that's not going to work because I'm always going to feel like they're pushing and they're being needy when I actually just require a bit of space. I think that reading that book and really thinking about what I'd learned, I've realized that the real issue is that I've never communicated my requirements and needs to be on my own. And if I'd communicated that better, when I had gone to that place and needing to be on my own, the partner I was with wouldn't have felt unloved because they would have justifications. Why?

It's happening. Yeah, so I think the next time I'm in that kind of place, I need to say to someone, hey, look, I need time on my own now and then, do you know what, a lot of the times that my relationships have combusted is when I've spent too much time with people, trying to please them, you know, letting them stay around all the time because it's convenient for their gym routine, letting them stay around because you know of whatever it is. And then I've realized that I've been neglecting my own attachment style in a bid to make someone else happy and because of that, it's just blown the relationships up. And now in retrospect, I can see that my

most successful relationships are when my girlfriends live further from me. And I was like, fuck, I was like, I'm going to need some fucking good therapy if I'm moving with someone. I know, man. Well, there's a few things that I've been reading about recently. One of them's the cohabitation effect, which you may be familiar with. If you live with somebody who you are intending on getting married with for more than six months before the marriage, there's a statistically significant increase in the chances of divorce. So most people, this goes against what most people would think. You move in together, you work out if you're compatible, and then you make the relationship down the line more likely to work.

But there's something going on, and there's a bunch of different theories. One of them is this open door policy. The presumption is that if you decide to live with somebody before you've committed to them legally and made it marriage material, you're basically saying you're good enough for now, you're good enough right now, but I'm not going to commit just yet. We're living together, but I'm not going to commit just yet and that there's this sort of subtext that comes through. There's a whole bunch of other suggestions, but that's one of them. Another one that I've read about is that in a relationship where the woman out

earns the man there is a 50% increase in chances of divorce. There is also a 25% increase in the chances that the man needs to use Cidafanil or Viagra to perform in bed and The fuck the fine. I know and the final one, if you have a master's level education versus a bachelor's, there's a 93% increase in right swipes on Tinder. Really?

Yeah. So one year, one year of your life just lads, if you're listening, if you're 21 and considering going out to do a master's increase, even if you're not bothered about the degree, 93% increase in right swipes on tin or just lie about it. I mean, that's an alternative. Is that in the profile where it talks about education or is that just from how the person dresses persona? No, it would be in the, I think it would be stipulated in the profile description. Oh, I'm fucking lie about it. I lied about on a BSC for fucking four years in a corporate world. They just wanted someone with a corporate world. They just wanted someone with a BSC. They wanted someone with that attitude. And I had that attitude

when I was at work by when you got a foundation degree, which is basically degrees. But then I think the men hugely underestimate the sapeo-sexual nature of women as well. What does that mean? Women that, or no people that are sexually attracted to people with intelligence, SAPO sexual. That's, if I, when I'm presenting a talk, and I do something that's really kind of profound and their silence is their absorbent. I'm like, yeah, ladies, the term is SAPO sexual,

if you're finding me attractive right now. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. But I guarantee that the women, I think, and again, people say our wise and man explaining how women feel, and if you do feel that way, fuck off. I've dated women for fucking 15, 16 years. I think I have an insight to it. I've made a lot of mistakes.

I have a very, very good insight into what women do and don't like in relation to it. Yeah, they had more women, the most women, so relax, all right? And I would say that women are attracted to wit and banter and all of this, but I think it's because if you look across the scale of things, funny people are intelligent, very intelligent. I think the people that have got witty, quick banter, even the fact that you could get a joke round quick, people see that as a source of intelligence. It's an immediate demonstration of intellect, correct.

And that must be an element of sexual attraction, because not only do you want the physical traits in someone and testosterone profiles, androgens, growth hormone, reproductive, whatever, you also want someone who's intelligent. And the same goes, more so for women, the men go for women. But then again, that's often misconstrued that men obviously then don't find intelligence attractive and they just want tits or arse, or whatever, fucking Middling Lund likes

to put in your questions box, you know. Hey guys, ask me anything, intellectual level tits or arse, you know, fuck you now. That was something I found really weird. So when I went on Love Island first season and they said, what's your type? What they were asking was, do you like petite girls, do you like brunettes, do you want green eyes or brown eyes, do you want it to dress like this? They weren't asking what are the fundamental characteristics that are going to never change across time? They were saying what are the physical characteristics that are going to fade within the next eight

years? That's what they were asking. That's a very dangerous kind of question as well when you put it like that fade over the next eight years. And another phenomenon is the amount of people that I've met and found them very sexually attractive after a couple of hours and thought, wow, if I'd only seen a screenshot of you, I might not have swiped right on you. Alternatively, the polar opposite, where I've swiped right on someone based on their picture and met them and there's been nothing. So this is something that the

in-cell community has a huge problem with at the moment. So recently, we had that shooting in not new key in Plymouth. I got shouted out for putting new key in the newsletter by someone from New Key and said that I defended their entire town. One of the problems that the in-cell community has is that online dating platforms like Tinder has allowed women to constrain their potential dating pool with what are essentially arbitrary metrics.

So they can say on certain dating platforms apparently you can put in your height and then you can also restrict your matches by height. So if you're a 5 foot 8 guy and the woman says nobody before below 5 foot 10 you do not get a look in with that woman. But what it misses off and the argument from the insult community is that there are ex factors grace. But what it misses off and the argument from the Insel community is that there are X factors grace, the way that somebody moves like the fact that they have good body language, all of these things that you cannot put your finger on and these aren't quantified on an app.

Now something tells me that the Insel community isn't exactly swimming in X factor and grace, but the argument still makes sense. When I first started online personal training before I had an app, I would get my clients. As soon as they paid, I would send them a video, I go, hey, thank you very much for joining my online personal training platform. Really excited to get working with you. I require you to send me a video back.

For the first six months, I just started chatting to them, but I didn't know them. That one video that they would send me, they'd be like, hi, but I didn't know them. That one video that they would send me, they'd be like, hi, my name's Trisha or whatever it was, I could see their level of anxiety, their way that they held themselves, the way they spoke, and that gave me a good idea of building their program. And if they seemed like very anxious and very handshake in no camera presence, I was like, probably not going to have a squat rack in their first phase of programming, because if they are nervous holding up a phone to me, I'm not sending them into the depths

of the squat rack. And then alternatively, if someone was bubbly like, hi James, yes, so I do group classes every week, I'm like, she's going to be fine going in. It was amazing that just 45 seconds of someone on camera, I could develop an assumption for who they were and what they were like. And where I have used the in apps before with caution. One of the first things I do when I take the conversation to WhatsApp is that I wanna see you speak. I wanna, I just wanna see you. And there's often a unfair fucking balance

if they follow me on Instagram. Because I was like, hey, here's 400 hours of me, challenge shit. I just wanna fucking 30 second. What's that video to make sure that, you know, face tuned and fucking, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, it's an interesting one. We were talking as well before we recorded about the interesting lack of a stereotype or an archetype for a young guy in his 30s who

isn't married, doesn't yet have a family, but can't wait to be a dad. But I'm fascinated by this. I think it's such an interesting time for men who perhaps have freedom and liberty to do what they want with their life. Maybe they've got more resources than they actually need. And from the outside, you look at those guys and it would be the Dan Bills Arian's of the world. That's like the archetype of the guy in his 30s or 40s who still sort of got it all. But I think both me and you agree, like I can't wait to be a dad. I actually cannot wait to become a father. I think I'm going to be an awesome father. I think I would have sucked as a dad at 23, 24 years old. I would have been like just awful. Like there should

be some sort of license that you need or like some sort of test that you have to pass. And I would not have passed. Fucking test driver car. Why can't you do it? To have a kid. You get a lot more damage to the community with a family. How would the car? Correct. And yeah, I just think it's it's such an interesting sort of time to be alive where you've got these sort of dynamics, this sort of freedom and no archetype for a man. A woman hits 30 and everybody starts siding her

about sort of TikTok, biological clock, when you're gonna get married. But for men, it's like, oh, go on, mate, you must be loving it, still being free and liberty and stuff like that. And you're like, well, kind of, but on the flip sides, I also want a family. Yeah, I think there's another interesting statistic

that I always keep in mind that the average guy marries a woman four-year younger, the average woman marries a guy four-years-older, another piece of one. I'm so glad I hadn't read this stuff before I wrote my book so I thought it would be so peatous and lean-in. But yeah, it's so interesting, you kind of say about that. I did a psychedelic trip earlier on this year. And did some mushrooms sat on the edge of

a cliff in North Bondi and just thought about life, listened to some hands in my, and when you take psychedelics and a lot of your ego is stripped away because I find that having a certain amount of money, certain amount of recognition, success in whatever fields really shrouds your vision from often your values that sit underneath it. What actually matters, yeah. Yeah, and I was thinking, uh, strip that away. What have I really got? And I had this conversation with Paul Lima a few weeks ago where I said,

I sat there. The first thing I thought about, I wrote this time, I fucking love psychedelics. The first question that my mind put onto me was, do people like you for who you are or what you do? And I had to sit with that. And I was like, well, if you took away everyone that likes me for what I do, how many people like me for who I am as a percentage, point fractions of a percent, right? And I was like, oh, that's quite a tough

build to follow, sat with it for a few hours, went through the playlist. And then the second one was, my family's biggest, if I was to say to my mom and dad what you're most proud of in life, I think they would say me and my sister. I had no question about it. And I thought, I've come through that door, the family house a lot of times in the last 10 years. And I'm sure there are chapter pieces with Sunday Times bestseller, you know, chapter pieces that you did this, you came back first class from Sydney.

I was like, and actually I bought my dad a Porsche, I bought my family a Porsche earlier on this year, my dad picked me up from the airport and I rented van, and I was like, we got to swap this out. So I went, I bought an apportion, he was Traff the Pieces, and he mischievous me on WhatsApp and he goes, son, I've never been so happy behind a wheel of a car, and I was like, that makes me feel proud. But I reckon the day I come home with the wife and kids, that's when they're going to be like, you've done it. I was sitting back with that and I was like, my parents have quite similar to me in the sense where they don't really care about flash items

or big things and my mom and dad don't travel. I can't even really take them on holiday, you know, even if I was taking someone, I'd should be down the South coast in the UK, which can't do in the pandemic, so everything's booked. The happiest thing for them in life is seeing my nephew, going to see my sister at work, going out for a Sunday, roast or whatever. I was like, fuck, if I really want to impress the most important people in my life, I'm probably going to have to have a family. And I was like, fuck, what am I doing? If I was to, you know, look at a spider diagram of my life,

there are some parts of it, they're extremely successful, but other parts of it, they're extremely lacking. That psychological experience really got me thinking, and when I do talk to people a little on my, you must do so much shagging, but you get loads of birds. I'm actually trying to work and develop an area of my life. I'm lacking in. I'm not trying it. I'm trying. Yeah, it's tough because you do get pulled in so many directions and you're mind-wonders and you're like, oh, maybe I do want that. And then, part of your mind goes, maybe you don't. Maybe your design, not to, maybe you're not going to get on with it. My track record of relationships is dire. Mine's not fantastic, I don't know. But for some reason there's this illusion in my mind I'm just going to meet the one and

then everything changes. But is that probably an illusion? Is that a utopian desire? Am I so hard-wired and programmed? I'm 32. My life revolves around my work, my routine, and my training. It's going to take a lot of effort for me to change that up. And it's quite concerning.

Like, we all just see our few years' time in our family, wife and kids. There's a lot of work that needs to happen before that becomes a reality. And I think I'm quite negligent of giving enough mental attention to that amount of work required. I think one of the challenges that everyone is going to have to come up against that's in that situation. You know, the PT's, the listening, the people that work for themselves that run their own businesses,

that do whatever, that feel liberated, you're going to have to concede that your performance at work will likely have to take a hit in order for you to have a family. Like there is a price for you to pay. If you want to court the girl of your dreams, if you want to start the family, if you want to tell, you're gonna have to take time off work.

Like what happens? Vassamajor at your people, anyone that's read the emith by Michael Gerber, like most people don't have a business, they have a highly leveraged solo pursuit. Like if they left their business for two weeks, all hell would break loose. Like that means you don't have a business, they have a highly leveraged solo pursuit. Like, if they left their business for two weeks, all hell would break loose. Like that means you don't have a business, it's just you, but you just leveraged a little bit more. And you're going to have to deal with that. You're going to have to deal with it, existentially, you're going to have to deal with the ego.

Like, okay, I'm not going to be able to post videos as frequently because I'm up at four in the morning looking after the kids or I've got to support the wife or we're in hospital in labor for fucking 48 hours or whatever goes on. These are things, these are prices that you need to pay and if you've attached such a sense of self-worth and you've wrapped your ego around your success, your externalities of your success, I wonder how many people without the right amount of self-work will end up low-key resenting their family for taking away from them something that they previously used

to get a sense of fulfillment from. That's exactly the word I was about to bring in this. I'm worried about maybe a future self-reversant. Before this, I did more, I had more, could afford more, had more freedom. I haven't freedom taken away, but a lot of that in the last couple of years, you know, this utopian desire of having a family,

I'm like, oh, you know, could I flip a coin and be the other way around? I did a dangerous hole on Instagram once saying, if you could go back and have kids, would you off? And it was 50, 50%. Yes. 50% yes, 50% life. What's that fuck? Thanks for helping.

Yeah, so shit the bed. I was like, maybe I'll just be a solo warrior in my whole life. But, you know, the funny thing is that we talk about dumbbellsarian. In my most recent, I won't give it away too much. In my most recent talk, I differentiate pleasure and happiness. I think Dumbledd's Aryan fills his life with tremendously high amounts of pleasure to fulfill just a speck of happiness.

Whereas, you know, other people have no fucking pleasure at all. Their kids wake them up, they fucking resent their wife, they fucking tired all the time, but they're happy. And there is going to have to be a trade of at some point for a lot of people. I've done PT seminars before where people say to me, like, oh, we sure had what you had, I wish I had the free time, we should have this. And I'm like, you're married and you've got kids, like, yeah, I'm like, well, I've won some things, you've won others. Yeah. I was like, you probably wouldn't trade yours for mine.

At this stage, I wouldn't trade mine for yours. None of us is a winner. There's no scare away. It's not like 100 grand in the bank. He caused the same pleasure as one kid. But that's the thing, man. Like most people don't see the prices that you have to pay for success. And you said it earlier on, certain areas of your life have hyperterfied and other areas

have sort of atrophied or maybe never even existed. Yeah, you don't see like, I always use this example of tiger woods. You don't know the price that tiger woods had to pay to be tiger woods. On the golf course, an absolute animal, perhaps one of the best ever. I wouldn't take relationship advice from him, but I don't think that he's you know, he's got such low self worth that he's been pulled over at the side of the road for falling asleep at the wheel as he's on his medication. He recently rolled his car. I'm going to guess that he probably wasn't fully sober when he did that and that snapped

both his legs. He's spent nearly half a decade out of the sport because he's had injuries because he's pushed himself so hard because that's what was drilled into him by his father. All right, do you want that? Like do you really want that? Because everyone looks at him and thinks, oh great, I'd love to be Tiger Woods traveling the world playing golf, night contract, all this money adoration.

Okay. Do you want to not be able to look yourself in the mirror? Do you want to not be able to love a wife? Do you want to not be able to stay faithful to one woman? Those are the prices that you have to pay. But because we applaud success, and we put it on such a narrow domain, such a narrow channel, and we put it on such a high pedestal,

you think, right, that's what I want, because that's what everybody else seems to think is cool to want. So therefore, everyone just starts mimetically copying whatever it is that's on the top of that. But the grass is always greener with this stuff. You know me and you, two guys who could go anywhere

in the world, could work from anywhere in the world, are both saying, ooh, isn't it interesting thinking about families? Like, wouldn't it be, I wonder if I'm both saying, ooh, isn't it interesting thinking about families? Like, wouldn't it be, I wonder if I'm gonna be a good dad? Like, I wonder what sort of fucking family SUV I'm going to, like, do you know what sort of strollers should we get? And the grass is fucking greener with this stuff. Like, to look at you and say, you've got it sorted, mate,

is just, it's now reminded. It's also, here's a plus for Uno card. I'm adopted as well. So I've never seen or been with or touched of a bloodline relative. So if I have a kid, that is going to be the only relative that's in my bloodline. That's amazing.

Yeah, so like, that's another really crazy like plot twist on that where people look around their family, they can see their features and their parents and their sisters and everything, but I've never had that. So that's another kind of layer to it and sometimes men right now are not in the best place they've ever been for fertility and for sperm count and for environments like I'm pretty sure that as we go through the next 23 years where I think there'll be a natural decline of population due to the fact of women being more educated contraception all of these things more likely to be in professional work life. I think we're also seeing

generations of less and less healthy men and more obesity, more lack of sunlight, all of these things. And I sometimes worry about fertility, you know. Like, it's a weird thing that when I'm 32, I got hit in the nuts and jitsy there a day. I was like, I was like, fuck, I was like, don't do that again. I was like, I'm not kids yet. I was seriously thinking the other day, because someone had commented and said that the quality of male sperm decreases.

So not, well, also the volume, but the quality in terms of fertility decreases in your late 30s. And I was thinking, I was going to Google it, where can I freeze some gizz, like where can I freeze some, just just in case just as an insurance policy? So it's a valid thing, it's a hundred percent of a valid thing. I'm like, yeah, like because then I was thinking I was like, if I was in fertile, which people think is really rare,

well my mum and my mum and dad couldn't have kids. So I've lived and grown up with perfectly normal human beings that we've got-bid's of health. For the amount of wine they drink and the fact they never been to a gym, they're fucking amazing. And they couldn't have kids and I was like, fuck, and then I was like, imagine if I was in a position where I couldn't, that means that my bloodline would never ever continue and there would be, it's like it could branch through, you know, my sister or anyone else or my parents or whatever. I was like, last year, that's it done. The lone gene pool that existed through myself that never, four billion years of unbroken survival and reproduction. We'd die in and end in the full.

Yeah. And I was like, I'll be shit. And then Paul Alema, one of my favorite people, Adam on the pot of Fusica, he really died of COVID, quite literally, nearly died. And he has two daughters, loves him to pieces. And he said there was like a little bit of solace when he thought, he's laying on the floor waiting for the ambulance to come again, he was like, it's okay, they'll be fine.

The genetic prodigy has continued, yeah. Yeah, and I was like, there's something about that. I don't think it's really discussed it out. It's not quite a matter to really talk and epitomize reproduction. And there definitely is something in the body clock. Since 30 to 32, which annoyingly, my body clock and my broody nature has become a lot more intense since the pandemic. Correct, same.

But at the same time, the freedom to roam, meet, fall in love and all of that has never been more shattered and separated and digital and soulless and it's got so much worse. And for me, I have a great fucking fantastic life. And I'm very worried about other people that would be in this exact same existential anxiety of where the world's going. When things will be back to normal and you know, how many people that would have been and fate's path to meet each other and fall in love and go on romantic trips and meet backpacking in Thailand, bump into each other in split and Croatia, meet each other

on a fucking boat at Yusel week. How many of those have just been squandered and ended up sitting on their fucking sofa watching Netflix instead? It's crazy that the dynamism of the human kind of petri dish has been frozen for two years. And I feel like I'm in the middle of it and I feel like ages just ticking away. I was 30 when this pandemic started. I'm now 32 and I don't like that.

hormones right hell of a drug man. I was saying this the other day to Carl Benjamin down south. He's got three kids and like a fourth on the way. My business partner's misses is three days over Jew on her third, on their third, their first daughter, they got two boys, their first daughter is like literally fucking in the oven ready to be taken out now. And for years, kids were the things that stopped my friends from seeing me on a Saturday when I wanted to go out and have breakfast and I was hungover or whatever. They made too much noise when I was on a plane and I was trying to sleep and they were just sort of icky and they got in the way. And now I look at young kids, toddlers or babies and I'm like, bet you're cool.

Yeah. You do like, I bet you do like fun. I bet you do like quite fun stuff. I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, who's this? Like, who's this existing inside of this head? Like, get out, like you weren't here before. I don't know who you are. It's interesting as well, then you've got this huge kind of utopian picture of meeting the woman and there being a perfect time for it to be

the mother of your kids or a wife. And this is a gray area as well. Anyone you meet that's happily married or has kids, there was never a right time. If you were to ask me about business, the last time in the right time is I'm like, there's never a right time. Just fucking do it. Correct the course along the way. In relationships, you're unable to take that same advice.

I'll just hang fire. I'll just hang fire for the next one. I'll just hang fire for the next one. Maybe the problems her again. Yeah, the relationship is very fixed, business and growth. I've got similar mind, completely different mindsets. If anyone says it's a thing that's launching a business, I'd say if you're ready for the business, you'd launch too late, but then the relationship, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa to go back properly, right? Yeah, I'm in limbo at the moment. And for four years now, four years, which is over 10% of my life, I feel like a plane circling ready to land. That's why I felt because I want to live in Australia. I do not want to live in the UK.

I do not want to have a serious relationship in the UK. So that's another thing. So if someone here was like, James, I've gone a date. I feel like, wow, I really don't want this to work out. I've already decided in my head I don't want this to work. And then someone goes, oh, but if you like him, you can take him to Australia. I'm not a con get myself in you know, I can't get myself in your fact. It could be another year before I even hear back from my decision on PR which might not even be a yes, it takes me to 33. So there are so many British people and Irish people in Australia, but onshore where they live, they go to bed in Australia

but they have limited amounts of time before they might have to come back and if you're all the type of person like me that goes there and you know this is where I want to be home, nothing else really cuts it. People go, you might like America, you're like, well, I don't want to live in America. Oh, I'm sure you'll love it. The beach is amazing. And I'll say, yeah, if I don't live in LA, I just just go to Europe. You're like, what, and have no friends

and some of my nice in Europe. So this whole kind of limbo at the moment, I'm not giving myself permission to be happy in the UK, because it's not where I want to be. You do know that that is a very good coping mechanism, though. That's a very, very good get out of jail free card that allows you to continue your avoidant behavior. Oh yeah, it's a classic trait of the avoidant.

But for me as well. Because it's justified, it's justified by something which genuinely exists. Like this is a compelling narrative, it genuinely is. But on top of that, it's a very convenient narrative for you given your particular attachment style. Oh yeah, yeah, I'm aware of that, but I'd rather be wrong in Australia than right in the UK. So like, yeah, and to be fair, like, you're always in this constant battle where like, I was hungover the other day, I agree, seeing my parents was like, this is nice. But, John, I'd love to be wrong.

I'd love to go to Os, move there for three, four years, and go, I had it wrong. I'd love to be wrong, I'm gonna come home. But for the time being, as far as quality of life, there's just like, I never appreciated how much I love Blue Skies. It sounds like such a weird thing. I'm sat in here now, I'm looking at a grey sky.

It's August. It's in the UK. It's freezing today. Absolutely fucking freezing. And, I've never, I just got a lot about my values in Australia and how much I love wholesome activities. Give me, give me some of your favourite wholesome activities. So like I would nap in the afternoon much I do here, but then I'd have a cup of instant coffee, a bowl of cereal, wait for my house mate come to come home and we go swimming in the sea. And go down, and I'm my happiest. It's cold in the sea.

It's freezing. It's like in its tail. Yeah, go jump in, piss about, like jump in through the waves, get in beaten up, come home, like in the morning, hey, I had six AM, summerized dips. No one can deny a summerized dip.

The only thing getting in the way of a summerized dip is you not wanting to go out of bed. So then we're just fucking pull you out of bed. And like, I lived in a budget house in Australia. I rents like 200 pounds a week. I lived in a bit of a shittower, a part of Sydney, but I was happy. Whereas in London, I need to live somewhere nice, I'm living in Richmond, living on my own, living in a posh area.

Because I need to get my happiness from that because I'm not getting it from outside the house. Have to compensate. Yeah, Richmond Park is lovely, but I don't want to be there. After I'm in there for an hour going for a jog on my own border this now, get me home. I'll watch so much more TV here. And like although there's just so many kind of wholesome parts to me that are unfulfilled here, I can't even swim in the sea now for like two months.

So here's something that I think a lot of entrepreneurs need to realize about being in the UK, if you are in the UK, if you're somewhere else that you just don't like where you live, one way to look at that is I am not being fulfilled externally in some of the ways that living somewhere better, quote, unquote, would facilitate me. But on the flip side, it's a forcing function that permits you to spend more time on work. Like, if you need to front load the amount of effort that you put into a business or growth or your skill development or whatever it is, living somewhere shit is actually a really good forcing function for that because there are a few of things to distract you. Now, the argument would be, what is the end goal reason of you being good at the business? It's to have a life which makes me feel happy, so why not just short-cut it and live somewhere

good in the first place? But there is also, I think, that you would agree too, there is an entry requirement, right? There's a buy-in that you need to get. You need to get to a minimum level of income and security with the business. And if you can front-load the work that gets you to that more soon, this is one of the reasons. I really want to talk to you about, I know you are a little averse to buying property, that buying property is something that you're not a huge believer in.

And I was really interested to dig into that. What's your reasons for that? So first of all, a lot of people can't really afford to buy houses. They can't, majority of people can't afford to buy houses. The majority of people in their 20s should be figuring out who they are and what they want to do. Instead, they get sidetracked. So they get into a job that pays 20k, then it pays 25, then it pays 30.

And they're now working a job that they don't really like for 30K. They then start eyeballing a house, they end up then buying a property somewhere they don't want to live. It's someone they probably don't want to spend the rest of their life with so they can get a mortgage to appease their parents. They then remain working a job they don't like to live in a house in a place they don't want to live before they're mortgage with a partner and they don't want to be with and suddenly they're not only trapped by the partner, they're now trapped by their job, they can't just leave their job and go start a career. And when it goes turn a hobby into a passion, they now have the pressure of, if I break out of my partner, I'm going to have to take on the

mortgage payments myself that I can't afford because I'm not earning enough money to do so. So I think a lot of people are living in this existential fuck up, where even if they do break up with their partner, they now need to sell the house. And any money they did make on the house is now got to go stamp duty, fees, fucking legal, all of this shit, right? I think a lot of people fall into that trap, not everyone. But when I'm giving advice to people, it's to those people. You know, living an hour away from your fucking job, I've got friends now at the moment.

I think they're fucking crazy. They're 32, and they're living with the parents of one of the couple, an hour and a quarter outside of London to save money for a house. I was like, you guys are in the prime of your fucking life, and you are living in the middle of fucking nowhere to save money. Why not just buy a house in a few years' time when you can afford it? Why not just live near your fucking office, enjoy your life, you'll get promoted in a few years' time, you'll be alright. It breaks me that people are prioritizing the agreement on a bit of paper over their

life because at the end of the day buying a property is just changing the belief system in who that property belongs to. If I buy the property I'm in right now, nothing really changes. I still sit here, I still pay money out each week, I still sleep on that sofa, I go upstairs into bed, but for me to buy this, I need to give up 1.5 million pounds or step into debt for the rest of fucking my mad old life until I pay it off. For me, if I had one and a half million pounds ago, I'd just buy this. Cool. I'd just buy it, it'd be worth a bit more in a bit of time.

I'm going to go to Australia, I'll probably worldwide something because I've got money that I'm not using. That makes sense. But for people to, you know, in your 20s, my mom and dad never ever said to me to get a mortgage. So I stand like this. I go and draw yourself. They say it actually, you know, by the, my mom and dad slumped off their mortgage. But they said, when we die, we leave some money. You can put it down in buyhouse. Don't worry about it. Enjoy your 20s. I enjoyed my fucking 20s. I played rugby in New Zealand. I went

to Thailand on two weeks notice. I went to Australia at 27. I played rugby in New Zealand. I went to Thailand on two weeks notice. I went to Australia on 27. I lived the best life ever and live in my best life, put me in a position to follow my passion. And now because of that, I'll probably buy a house outright. And it won't sting when I buy it. I won't need a partner forced into that position to help me buy it either.

People go renting as a waste. Renting is not waste. Renting is freedom. Renting is not waste. Renting is freedom. Renting is deciding you want to fucking move next week. Fine. Renting is not worrying about mortgage payments. Renting is not staying with a partner that you don't want to be with just to fucking cover the costs. You pay the price whichever way you go. And for me, I love the idea that I might go, I'm going to America tomorrow. The board is open.

I don't want to worry about them to fill it. Tenants, tenants calling me at four in the morning when I'm in America. James, the boy has gone, oh, fuck, no, let me get someone out. There are different people out there that want different things. If you want to buy a house, you're just going to ignore what I'm saying. But for a lot of people, there are way better things to be doing in the 20s than the same for a house. And if you do what you want in your 20s, you might just have the money to buy one out right

in your 30s, leaving your 40s. There's a stat in the happiness hypothesis by Jonathan Hate that says, the single biggest determinant of happiness or the single tightest correlation that he could find was the commute to work. So the longer that you're commute to work, the lower your life happiness. That was the tightest correlation that he was able to find throughout his entire research in a book on happiness. So I think that you are right when people buy houses for the wrong reasons. I would posit that for people at the lower end of the income bracket and people at the

absolute top end of the income bracket, renting for both of those people makes sense. But for people who are in the middle who are they're going to be able to make maybe £10,000 plus per year over the top of what they need to live so that they would be able to save that. For me, there's no better place for you to put your money because you're going to turn cash into an asset that is going to generate money over time. So the house that I'm in right now, I have two of the housemates that live in this with me, and they pay the mortgage, the electricity, the water, the rates, the tax, the cleaner, the internet.

And they go, okay, so now I live rent-free. So I live rent-free plus all of the money that was going into rent goes into bricks and mortar and that's equity that's owned by me. And all I've done is rinsed and repeated that. So I've just bought House number five, which is completing this week. And it's just by to let find 35 grand ish put it into a three bed house that generates about 800 and something pounds a month. And you go again, and you go again, and you go again, and over time that compounds. So I understand that for somebody that really wants freedom and doesn't have the cash that sits over the top of that in order to give them the extra leeway that they need, that that would be a

bad piece of advice. If you have tons and tons of money, then fuck it, it doesn't matter, because you don't need the extra income afforded by letting properties or by assisting yourself to reduce your living costs. But for somebody that sits in that middle bracket, I actually think that it's a really smart potential. Now, this being said, you need to do it in a city where you're able to buy properties where the yield is sufficiently okay. London is not this place.

The amount of money that you need to put down on a property versus the amount of money it's going to earn you back in terms of your rent is essentially pointless. Like you might even lose money on that property, but outside of that, somewhere like Newcastle, somewhere up north, I think it's a good potential. So, I completely agree with what you're saying there and what you're doing is incredibly smart, but then the second caveat point comes in that that doesn't interest me. And that's not to say what you're doing is bad, is to say that that doesn't interest me. And that's not to say what you're doing is bad, is to say that that doesn't interest me. So that people go, well, you're a fool because you could be making this, this, and this.

And for me, when we could sit in arm chairs when we're 65 and you could sit back with more money than me and go, I've got 45 houses. And I could sit back and go, I could have had 45 houses, but I didn't do anything that never interested me. And I would be proudly sat back on that little armchair going, I had plenty of opportunities to invest my money and do smart things with it, but it didn't interest me. And I could be wrong, I could change in five years, but ultimately, I love doing talks, meets, writing books. I would rather say you go James, you know, bought this half for 35 grand and then a mortgage whatever, I'd say, I'm going to the more deeps. How long does 35 grand get me? I'll get you a 12 weeks, sir. Cool. All right, I'm gonna take 10 hardbacks with me and I'm gonna write a new book and I'm gonna

get the advance from that. And you know, I mean, and for me, financially that is a worst decision, but over the next year of my life, or going away and doing random shit like that, I'm, I could be wrong with this gamble. I could be so wrong, but I can't wait to just invest in myself. And one day when I have a family home, I will buy it so that when I die, someone has it. And again, this, this, this, or disagree me on this, right? My mom and dad created a comfortable life for me, but they never gave me money. Because they never gave me money,

I was in the job center when I was 19, knocking on doors for a living. I worked in a pub on a caravan site when I was 16. That was excellent. When I look at people that are given too much by the parents, they don't have the work ethic they should. So like again, I have this kind of mentality in my mind of just wanting to spend it all, I joke around with my business partner saying, inheritance tax should be 100%. So the state gets forces you to finish it

by the end of your life. Yes, spend it, do it, live a life, get rid of all of it, and then your kids don't get anything at the end of it. So you bring out your kids with that. I think that the same mentality for me coming from a working class background, not really having money, you know, being like literally skint bones of my ass couldn't drive myself home from my placement year at uni, back to uni, when the placement year went kaput. But I didn't have the money to put the petrol in my car to get home and that was 20, 20 years old. And then 13 years like, you know, being able to afford five houses and have varieties of income and stuff like that. But I think that the coming from

that background of no money has actually lent me to have like ambient monetary anxiety. So for me, I require a greater sense of comfort. I need to know what is coming in each month and the position at which I feel right fine. I'm now liberated to fuck off to the Moldeves and drop 35 grand. Like it's only getting toward the place now where that's something that I would feel comfortable doing because the prudence and the conservatism financially that has kind of been quite pervasive, especially if you've come from never having money, I do think that we've got sort of two different role models going on here. One of them is never came from money, it's fine.

Even if I don't have any, it doesn't matter. And the other one is never came from money, fuck, I've now got some hold onto it at all costs and make it earn more for me. And they're both correct, because they're both correct because they're both they're both airline with our values and what we find happy. Joe what man sometimes I wish I could love Newcastle. Someone like that. Joe lucky you are to be in a part of the world like that and to love it. You love it right. It's good. It's good man. It's it's it's it's a small city that's easy to that's easy to win at.

And that was something that I really, really enjoyed. I wouldn't say that it's the best place to live in the UK. I do enjoy London. I enjoy being in Cosmopolitan cities and stuff like that. But it is fun. It's good nightlife, yet flights in and out of it. Why I, like, I almost wish I never became such a fucking snob

for the good life. Yeah. Because I remember Sonny Webster, a good friend of mine, pretty sure you know him, like the Olympian Lifter. He calls me up one day, he goes, I'm having a bad day. Like, come on, we're going for a walk. And we'd walk and I can see the sea and there's blue skies and there's sun and everything like that. I can't go back from that. I can't step backwards from that life. And like, if I, I probably will

be hypocritical when, or will be a hypocrite when I do buy and not show you, then I think it's slightly different values. When I go, you've been to us. No. There's a, there's an area called Gold Coast and it's on the beach and you get a lot for your for your money there and I actually want to keep living in Sydney but I actually want to buy a big four bedroom house in Gold Coast on the water not too far from a beach because then I want to have an open invite for all of my friends to come to Australia and to stay in that house. So even if I'm living in Sydney I'm like right guys this weekend come here's the key code for the front door. Come stay with me. And if my friends have got families, they've got kids, they've got whatever, they'll stay in that house. Even if I'm in the UK, hey, go stay

in my house over there. I'd love to create that like community environment, but there's like a cinema room and something for this and that, a barbecue outside. And for me, the idea of buying that is amazing because then I get to part my money and other people get to use it. And they don't, they don't get to feel like they get a hand out. I'm like, oh, come stay with me. But that excites me. Outside of that, my freedom is so important to me. I'm not saying that you've jeopardized any of yours. And I always think in the back of my mind as well. Did you ever think that during the pandemic started? I was like, if we lose 25% population, property prices are going to fucking that crypto currency is going down. All right, if we get another SARS-CoV-3, just saying

it comes out with a with a high fatality rate. I mean, what was the plague? It's like 25 million or saying, saying stupid, no, maybe not 25 million, maybe 25 million. Maybe something, something come out like that. Chris, mate, then my house house is right, tenants gone, everyone else gone. More houses than we know what to do with. It's going to be like the problem in China. I'm in too many men for the amount of women. Just saying mate, you know, it bricks the mortar, they say, and he goes one way until it doesn't. Where it's only gone one way throughout all of history. And whatever it is, past performance is not an indication of future returns. Absolutely right.

That being said, man, fucking the people that trade cryptocurrency and stuff like that, they have balls of steel. That's something that I absolutely could not do. Yeah, I mean, the last year house prices in the UK have risen by the highest percentage ever. That's what they want you to believe. I've just paid for one. I know that it's going to, I know that it's going to show a lot. We've got IFS coming up this weekend. What are you doing there?

We can't ask the next, does it scare me? No, no, no, no. It is this weekend in podcast world. Okay, sorry. I've only just started doing that. Whenever I do a podcast, I'm like, let's release it. I'm like, don't fuck up, release it. Yeah, I have this weekend.

In essence, I went to fitness expo, body power, my name's whoops. A few years ago. I was like, fuck, this has potential to be so amazing. We go to one area, there were evidence-based speakers in the smallest little tent. And then you got, you know, just supplements, down supplements, down supplements, down topless bodybuilders, topless bodybuilders, and I was like, this is fucking disgusting.

And I remember joking around with my events team and saying to them, like, look, there's so much scope for this to be better. And they were like, let's do it. So I sat down with the organizers, I was like, look, these are the kind of people we need to have to attend it. And then they're like, okay, what about a party? sat down with the organizers, I was like, look, these are the kind of people we need to have to attend it. And then they're like, okay, what about a party?

I'm like, yes, I'm a big party. So 2019 went Barcelona, Charlie Sloth on the DJ set. Like, it was lit. It was amazing. But the core component of it is business to business for personal trainers. Because there is not enough support or education for PT's to run a good business.

You can be the best PT in the world, but if you're not charging good money and growing your business, you will die out. Because even if you're a really enthusiastic 24-year-old charging 50 pounds an hour, if you do not learn how to master commoditization and demand or build money online, you're going to have a family soon, and your family are only going to be home in the most in demand hours as a PT. And if you do not learn how to work around that, you're pretty much fucked. And to be able to host an event where you get to upskill personal trainers and teach them how to run a business with the best minds in the world, and most people go, I haven't heard of the other five people. And I go, yeah, they're the ones I fucking

learn it from. So, you know, you've got that. And then this B2C element on the outside where people can come along, me and you, you're gonna be at the bar, having a gin and tonic, someone comes over, hey guys, love you podcast, you're blood, which one? And then, you know, like, oh, classic. I'd like going around, having like drinks to people,

I think Budgie Smuggler, we're like trying to do a Ninja Warrior course, Grenada bringing a hot air balloon, like there's panels inside where people can talk there's a mental health panel, there's a panel on whether or not the fitness industry sexist. Like we got all these like juicy things. And it's not expensive to come down for the weekend.

A lot of people haven't had a proper festival vibe in quite a while. Yeah, it's just exciting. And my events team have done fucking an amazing job. They've got a background of like music festivals and events. So the production is lit. You go to some places and they've got like a DJ set on fucking ship production and shit speakers. So yeah, Mr. Jam is playing in the evening and I don't know if you've seen Mr. Jam live. Yeah, we've booked him a couple of times. He kills it.

He is unreal. The energy that guy brings. Insane. Yeah. Insane. He kills it. He is unreal. The energy that guy brings in saying, yeah, insane. So like I'm buzzing up. He pulling out the yellow-ting glasses up and about in the dance floor. No self. He's after 10 p.m. Yeah, man. I'm gastro. I'm gast. I'm hosting the podcast panel 3 p.m. on the Saturday on whatever the fuck stage that is. So if anyone is listening, I was supposed to have a link. I was supposed to have a link. I was supposed to get some sort of a link. If they're just Google International Fitness Summit.

Yeah, dot com. It'll come up and get your tickets this Saturday and Sunday. And then is there a thing on the Friday? Are you guys doing a meetup on the Friday? Now on the Saturday, the first hour on Saturdays and meetup solo travelers. So we're going to get name tags for people that are traveling on their own. I'm trying to get colored name tags so you can get green, amber, red. I don't want to traffic light it. They're saying one, right? Okay. I'm not sure. Not sure. Anyone that wears the amber one, it's so funny. What are you doing? Playing hard to get. What are you here for?

I'm having an avoidant behaviour. Yeah, yeah. Apparently club nights at the moment, that's a big no-no, the traffic light systems. Well we do it only on Valentine's Day. We do it every year on Valentine's Day at our events. So there's some controversy about that, people saying that, oh you can't do that anymore, it's fucking degrading or something like that. Not in Newcastle, man. Newcastle doesn't, it doesn't fold to this woke stuff.

Like, it's just such salt of the earth people. When you have lads that wear rigour boots and use the plaster dust from the work that they've done during the day to chalk up the bar before they lift in the gym on an evening time, and they've still got like the work overalls on in a high-vis t-shirt.

Like, they're not bothered about gender neutral bathrooms and whether or not... I think like parties have parties are racist. I just got out London. I remember a coffee earlier and it's like this toilet is gender neutral. And I was like, fuck it out, just be like, just have a science and use whatever one you want or just toilet. If you want a cater for all genders or 72 of them and you've got two toilets in a building that you don't mind people using, just take the M and the F stick off and just have toilet. Like the overreaching of the work stuff, I mean, new cast was never sounded so appealing. I know man, I know it really does help, but yeah, so internationalfishfitnisummit.com, if

people want to go and get the tickets, Saturday is the more, that's Sunday's the more sort of PT side one, right? It's a more businessy side one. Saturday's for everyone party vibes. Go around, you know, panels, gin tonics, big party in the evening, probably active wear by day and then party gear by night. Then we're all going to meet up about nine, nine, thirty on Sunday, hungover. We've got over 500 personal trainers doing the E2B on the Sunday, where during myself, Phil Graham, Paul Moore, Mark Coles, Jay Auderton, I'm doing these business-to-business talks. They're going to be like TED talks about things that probably people are getting wrong, things you can work around it, interactive Q&A, then by Sunday night we can all die,

maybe end up going for a beer. I love it man. I'm sick. I can't wait to go. I'm coming down on the Saturday morning I think so I'm going to be like caffeinated on the train and pushing myself straight under the stage. It's going to be fun. It's sick. I'm buzzing for it. I'm gassed. James Smith, ladies and gentlemen, people want to check out your stuff. Where should they go? Just to just typing James Smith. It was tough at first right? When I started I'd add to say... Very normy name isn't go? Just to just typing James Smith. It was tough at first, right? When I started, I'd add to the same. Very normy name, isn't it? There's a lot of them. Yeah, but I'm now top of the algorithm. Number one, James Smith in the world. Imagine that. Imagine being the number one,

James Smith in the world. There's a singer who won't be too happy about that, but. But there's a very anti-Semitic Labour MP called Chris Williamson from Derby, who I'm desperately trying to beat in Google rankings. I've got him on pretty much everything except for just the top three on Google soon. Well, give us a year, like give us a year and we'll be top of that. The air type in James and F Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, everywhere. I'm everywhere. Peace, man. See you on Saturday.

Thank you on Saturday. Thank you mate.