Modern Wisdom - #386 - Daniel Sloss - How To Stop Hating Your Love Life

Episode Date: October 18, 2021

Daniel Sloss is a comedian, podcaster & now an author. Everyone you hate is going to die. But so is everyone you love. And so are you. Before that happens, you need to live and breathe and make some friends and hopefully find a partner and start a family and have fun. Today we get to hear Daniel's best advice for how to avoid total failure at this. Expect to learn why boomers would probably get rekt on Tinder, what Daniel's thoughts are on his Netflix Special Jigsaw now as a happily engaged man, how you should break up with someone, why Dave Chappelle's controversy should surprise nobody, whether leaving a relationship because you want to sleep around is a good reason and much more... Sponsors: Join the Modern Wisdom Community - https://modernwisdom.locals.com/  Get 20% discount & free shipping on your Lawnmower 4.0 at https://www.manscaped.com/ (use code MODERNWISDOM) Extra Stuff: Buy Daniel's Book - https://amzn.to/3DyAzNh  Check out Daniel's Website - https://danielsloss.com/  Follow Daniel on Twitter - https://twitter.com/Daniel_Sloss  Get my free Reading List of 100 books to read before you die → https://chriswillx.com/books/ To support me on Patreon (thank you): https://www.patreon.com/modernwisdom - Get in touch. Join the discussion with me and other like minded listeners in the episode comments on the MW YouTube Channel or message me... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chriswillx Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/chriswillx YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/ModernWisdomPodcast Email: https://chriswillx.com/contact/  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello friends, welcome back to the show. My guest today is Daniels Loss. He's a comedian, podcaster, and now an author. Everyone you hate is going to die, but so is everyone you love, and so are you. Before that happens, you need to live and breathe and make some friends and hopefully find a partner and start a family and have fun. Today we get to hear Daniel's best advice for how to avoid total failure at this. Expect to learn why boomers would probably get wrecked on Tinder, what Daniel's thoughts are on his Netflix special jigsaw now as a happily engaged man. How you should break up with someone, why Dave Chappelle's controversy should surprise nobody, whether leaving a

relationship because you want to sleep around is a good reason and much more. It's just peak sloss being sloss today, giving out very sweary, very Scottish relationship advice and yeah, ever since the first episode I did with him is always fantastic. You're going to absolutely love this one. In very special other news, this episode is brought to you by me. That's right. I'm taking up an ad spot on my own show because I can because it's my show and I can do exactly what I want and because the modern wisdom community is now live. Head to modernwisdom.locals.com. There is a link in the show notes below. modernwisdom.locals.com and you can join right now.

It's basically like a private Facebook feed. You can post stuff, you can connect with other people that listen to the show. Me and all of the team can post things. Video Guideen can post behind the scenes. There is already an exclusive 80-minute episode with joining you, Seth, which I recorded last week, which is amazing. And the only way you can access that is by joining locals. There's going to be live streams, Q&As, we'll have discussion threads about every episode each day when they go up.

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if you want to support the show. So if you love what I do and you love modern wisdom, then you can do that. And you can join and you can connect and you can make other friends that all love the same sort of things that you do like minded people. Yeah, I'm so gas. I really, really hope that you like this. I've been working on it for a long time and I really want somewhere where we can all get together and connect. ModernWisdom.locals.com.

Or there is a link in the show notes below. Go right now, this very second, and join. ModernWisdom.locals.com. But now, it's time for relationship advice with Daniel Sloss. Daniel Sloss in the building. How you doing? Yeah, I mean in my building. It's an outhouse. Very nice. Yeah, it is. Thank you.

It was built in a panic during a pandemic to record an audio book and it's no use as a master petroleum. It's up to technical term. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well it makes it. If you just got it like your jack off room that sounds like dead I'm classy and I don't think I'd be allowed to get away with it, but like master Victoria makes it seems like I have a You know, a jacket a drink of cognac while I do it and I've got a monocle and like there's a community of people that do it with you And a subreddit and a discord server. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we all make sure we log in at the same time and that's that look

The one thing you can say whether they're gonna Lucas look we all got our own communities and the mass-batorium membership was one of them Have you seen you haven't seen shiphels new special yet? No, no, I haven't I was too busy watching I wanted to and then Squid Game came out and I benched that I've not watched the last episode because I can't get over how fucking appalling that. I've not watched the last episode because I can't get over how fucking appalling those all the English characters are or in all the American characters are. So bad, man. Like, I wondered if like if this is just like South Korean revenge for the amount of times like we've

made movies and television shows and like we get people playing South Koreans or any like, you know Chinese or Japanese person And we just give them shit dialogue because we're translating it. So that's not how they talk. And like to them watching our shows, they must be like, man, that's not how we sound at all. Like this is really shit. And now they've just done that to us.

They made an incredible TV show. And then every time it's any English speaking person, it's the worst written dialogue in the world. Yeah, it really does feel like they're taking the piss. You think it's any English picky person, it's the worst written dialogue in the world. Yeah, it really does feel like they're taking the piss. You think it's got 100% on Rotten Tomatoes at the moment? I think. Yeah. And it's got, it's going to be the biggest show on Netflix this year and they've decided

to give the English and American people. It's like, what I imagine Korean people think English and American people sound like. Yeah, yeah, like it's nice to see as an esteriotite, which is just like a aristocratic, big giant wankers obsessed with sex and talking about how rich they are. Glittery heads. Yes. I want to get a blowjob from the blowjob room, like some sort of king, aren't the poor funny. They're part of the masturbatorium.

Yes, they are. The masturbate consortium. Yeah, that's the blend. So I watched that and then I watched fucking, was that one, this vigil? Oh, that was good. Oh, really good. Really thoroughly enjoyed that. And then I'm going to get into,

get into Chappelle. But I'm also not on social media. so I don't see any of the, the cancel culture wherever the fuck is good on. Yeah. So Shepale's new special. He talks about how it's the gender debate again, like men and women. And he sides with JK Rowling. And he says that turf is, he aligns that with, how do you say, like scientific reality, or like biological reality, that's saying that men and men and women are women, and fuck like, it's just, it went completely bonkers on the internet, and it's got Rotten Tomatoes. This is one of the things that's so interesting. Rotten Tomatoes got a 96% user rating on it, but the Critic score hasn't come in. I think

it happened with his last one where the critics score was like 30% and the user rating was like 96. So you just keep on injecting himself into these. Yeah, man, I just think it's kind of like I was just to really get annoyed when anyone would go and see Frankie Boyle and then still get offended. And it's like, man, at one point, the responsibility is on to you. Like if you, like if you go to a Frankie Boyle and then still get offended. And it's like, man, at one point, the responsibility is up to you. Like, if you, like, if you go to a Frankie Boyle show and you get offended, like, what else were you fucking expecting? Like, the contract is signed when you walk into the room. I'm off to see this comedian who I know, you know, it's going to say some horrendous thing because that's why I like him in the first place. It's the shit I enjoy about him,

for the sake of the games that at me, I don't like it so much anymore. I don't agree with everything she's been told. I don't think I agree with anything, everything every comedian says. I'm a fan of the art of it. I can fucking separate politics and personal opinion from just being like, man, if you write a joke really well about my dead sister,

I'll still fucking laugh at that joke. Like, I know it's personal, and I might cry a bit at later on, but there'll be at least five minutes where I can appreciate the craft of what you did. That's the problem that a lot of comedians highlight, right? That people are happy for a comedian to take shots at this group and this group and this group.

But as soon as that alignment happens to be where you sit about something that you care about, then people decide to get offended. Well, yeah, but I also get that, man. It's very easy to let it's much easier to laugh at someone else than it is to laugh at yourself. Flaffing yourself is very difficult. And I'm still not even fucking good at it.

Like I'm a comedian that preaches you should be allowed to joke about what you want. But that doesn't mean when my friends insult me, I still don't get fucking precious. Like being a human being is complicated and sometimes there are emotions over well, Muslim, we turn into whiny pieces of shit, but you know, to make sure that you don't stand by those opinions for the rest of the fucking rest of your life. Like I've always said, I'll defend any comedians right to say any joke about any fucking subject. But I will also, if you tell a fucking shitty joke and you get booed by your audience, ha ha ha! Like I'm also enjoying that motherfucker.

Like you tried to push the boundaries, you fucking missed the mark, and now you're getting your fucking come up, and this is not cancel culture, there's no difference from doing a fucking, it's no different from doing a joke in a comedy club that turns the entire audience against you, and they go boo or they don't like you about, yeah, you come off, you have a cry, you go drive four hours home, you have a whank in a fucking service station toilet. Like that's the game. When you get counseled online, that's just what's happening. But I mean, for like fucking weird reasons, be like somebody coming to a new comedy club

and yelling at you for a joke, you're told eight years ago, that's when it gets a bit, you know, shite. There's a quote gets a bit, you know, shite. There's a quote from your book, new book, which people can go and buy. And it's talking about what I realize is you don't think that people should have an opinion on everything, which is actually that is quite a controversial opinion to have.

So I don't know what it's like to not feel comfortable in your own body. So asking me for my opinion on gender fluidity would be like asking the Pope for his stance on rimming. I've got one, but it doesn't really matter. Sound cowardly, it is. I've seen too many good men and women die in that minefield, and I'm not being paid enough to walk through it

with a fucking blindfold on. Do you need to have an opinion on everything? Yeah, no, I don't think you do. And that's my mouth stay out of some debates and people will call it. Go with it, you go, man, I don't respect my own opinion on that's my mouth stay out of some debates and people will call it cowardly. Go man, I don't respect my own opinion on something. It's like, I know what I know a lot about.

I will argue with anyone about fucking comedy. And the reason that is, is I know more about comedy than 99.9% of the population. Because I've watched it longer, I've done it longer, I study it more, like it's my obsession. I know that. Do I know anything about fucking balaer poetry? Get fat. I'm not gonna fight as passionately for who the greatest balaer dancer but I don't even give a

Shit but we live in a time now where you know Everything is so polarite Intentionally fucking polarize that you know people just want an excuse to fucking hate someone else because hate feels really good Man it's that close to love and when you're not loved, hate some fucking fun substitute for a lot of people and it's just nice to sort of get angry. So that's why I think you can joke about anything, but just because you can doesn't mean I would and doesn't mean you necessarily should. Like I think there is a responsibility sometimes to go, right, what are you making a joke about, right? And why are you making the joke? Now you don't have to, you're a comedian. I'll defend your right to tell any joke for any fucking reason for the sake of a laugh. But that doesn't

mean I'm, as it can be, I don't have models. I'm still on a model level going, are you saying that joke just to piss people off? Are you saying that joke just because you like pissing those people off? Are you trying to be derogatory? And you're, you know, it's complex. And I make sure that, what are at least I try to make sure that when I'm talking about something, I at least either have knowledge of it and my own unique opinion on it, or I make it very obvious that I'm aware I'm a moron and nothing I say should be taken seriously. That's the safety blanket, yeah. Your livelihood relies on your ability to say words, though, and we are having some words being thrown into different buckets and you talk about that

with your experience with your sister as one of the little batches. Are you concerned long-term about words becoming taboo? What do you think it's like just a lot of fuss about nothing? Um, I mean, yeah, I mean, I mean, I write the word spastic and retard in the book. People, well, those are trigger words for some people and I respect people who are triggered by those words. I don't have the same triggers that those words being different things to me. If somebody doesn't like my use of a certain word and then never wants to consume my art again, I respect that as an opinion. Okay, I get it. But I'm not, I don't need you to be a fan. Like that's not what art is. I didn't, I didn't create what I do to get you. I created what I do because that's why I like you can choose to consumer or you can choose

not to. And that's the boundary, both artists and consumer forget a lot of the time because you've got artists that are obsessed with keeping their fans. You know, no, Matt, you've changed the gallery. Like people walk through, they might not come back like they might enjoy you for a period of time and that's great. And then you grow and they grow and it would be fucking insane for you to try and grow with your audience because that's not what they want to do. They didn't come to you because you were like them. They went to you because they were

like you. And if you diverge at any point, hopefully they're mature enough to be able to go, okay, you know, I don't agree with what he says anymore, but I still like his style or I still want to consume the stuff and oh, and I like having another opinion of my hands or they go you know what I fucking hate this person now I don't like you and I don't want to watch your stuff anymore and as the audience go okay stop fighting further they're gone man I went first I might did like like real material was when I was about 21 like I've done four years of the fringe and it was when I was doing loads of pre-wart shit TV, like Polo Gradient stuff. I was TV friendly, not swearing too much. My mum's weird, my dad does this blah, blah, blah. And then, you know, I sell

out a bunch of shows during the fringe on that. It's like 400 people in a day come and it's a mealong. I've been, then I start talking about how there's no gods and I think drugs are great and I think all religious people are stupid and every single day I had to watch 20 to 30 people leave the room because they come to see what they'd seen on television they weren't getting that and they were choosing to and they're not mad they're allowed to leave like I had they it was hard to watch man it was getting and there was part of me that was like no no no change material you know you have the skill to keep those people in the room. So do it. And then I had to consciously go, no, like people are allowed to not enjoy your work.

That's the point. If you were, if everyone loved your work, you'd be Peter K and Peter K is shit. I've supposed as well when you get to the size of Chappelle and you so established and you've been in the industry for so long, you can kind of do what you want. You can take the art form in your own way. Yeah, and also, man, it's like, I still, every single time there's going to be a tape support special, there's going to be the same fire. One because the media knows it causes this massive argument so they can obviously get

all the clicks from there. Here's the most extreme opinion on this side. Here's the media knows it causes this massive argument so they can obviously get all the clicks from the here's the most extreme opinion on this side here's the most extreme opinion on this side. Let's put them together in the same article and claim that that represents the 40's 5050 and you'll get people coming in and defending it and people coming in and being like, Oh, does he have to do it again? And all opinions are everyone is entitled to an opinion. That's a rule, but not every opinion is fucking equal. And also, people

don't have to respect or even hear your opinion. You're not entitled to have your fucking opinion hard. That's a rule, but not every opinion is fucking equal. And also, people don't have to respect or even hear your opinion. You're not entitled to have your fucking opinion hard. That's not what everyone's entitled to an opinion means. You can have one, but we don't have to fucking listen to it. I don't know. You don't care about you. Shout the fuck out. Why would I listen to your opinion? Right? People listen to my opinion because I've worked on that for years and years and years. That's why I've got the fucking goal to tell you my opinion. People pay for it, come. Who the fuck are you, seven users? Watch bull-parnum of a bunch of times,

which is a special adored, by the way. But it doesn't mean you know more than me, mother fucker. Jesus Christ. All right, have you actually been cited as one of the causes for a divorce? Yeah, yeah, man. Like actually cited on the piece of paper. Yeah, but as in like, it's like what they like it because I mean, I don't know, I don't know a lot about divorce a lot of stuff.

But like, people have brought the bits of paper and you know, when they've got like reasons, like the bit where I sign says, my name the show. Yeah, because you've signed them. Yes, yeah, yeah, just autograph them. Like it's a copy of their ones that they're going to frame for whatever reason. 300 divorces, 350 cancelled engagements and more than 120,000 breakups. Yeah, I mean, those numbers are way higher in it, but yeah, like we kept having to update it as the book went on and then, and I stopped counting a while ago just because I'd been, I came off of most of social media so there was just no way to do it. So there are, like, the breakups are an estimate. We stopped counting the divorces then. But we still get messages through and I'll

still get at least one a week. You like the fucking harbinger of the breakup apocalypse? I like that people have called it, Jigsaw, like the ring but for toxic relationships. Like that makes you watch it. Yeah, it's like, and again, look, it's never broken up a good couple. Like, nope, I'm not, I'm a jishon. Like there was no two parents together, they'd been together for 25 years, you know, their eldest was 16, they'd studied what, and they loved together for 25 years, you know, their eldest was 16,

they decided what, and they loved each other so much high school swears. And then they watched my stand up, and by the end they were like, I hate you, this is over. You can keep the kids I never, it's never happened. It's people in shitty relationships watch this special, and they look at their subpar partner, and they go, I could, and I do deserve better than this. How would you advise someone to go through breaking up with a partner then? How should people work out if they need to break up? It's a difficult question. Very difficult question.

The cop I answer is the true one, which is only you'll know. But what is also true is sometimes you don't know. Sometimes you're so delighted to do your relationship and you're so scared of the other side because you're so tenable at being alone that you've got this thing of like, even if this is shit, it's better than nothing. And that's never true, by the way.

Like, no relationship is always better than shit relationship. Like being single isn't the easiest thing in the entire world, but it's objectively better than like going to bed besides someone who you hope stops breathing in the middle of the night. Like just that disappointment every fucking morning when your alarm clock goes off and you feel them move on the other side and you go, fuck, alright. Another one of those days here, here she is

Mrs. Fucking Priest through her nose that I grabbed another 24 hours and fucking hell is it no like when you start feeling that way it's probably time to because the reason I broke up with my ex was because I wish she was dead and that wasn't because she deserved to die but I'm like man the second I want you to die or the second I don't want to give you all of myself You deserve better as well, man. It's like you got to remember if you're in a relationship You don't like the other person you owe it to them not to waste their fucking time anymore Like breakups are always hard, right? We know there because there's no perfect way to do them

I mean there were I don't know what was wrong with texting but apparently we all had a vote and them. I mean, there were. I don't know what was wrong with texting, but apparently we all had to vote and Texans just not like, I don't get why. It's just so efficient. It's so over. No, I don't need it next, but come on, fuck it. It's done. Who cares? But all right, we had a vote and morally it's wrong. I say, I got it. You know, it's going to suck for a long time and every second you don't break up with them, it's like time within that person and your own healing that you're robbing them from. Like I think just... If you're not allowed to text them, what's the optimal way to try and get it done? Because it's difficult, you've got this thing you want to do, you're talking to a person,

you're terrified of being on your own, you don't want to hurt them, you don't want to hurt yourself, it's like a perfect cocktail to not make a decision. Yes, I, and then there's also the anxiety, and especially if you are in a toxic relationship, which is the ones I encourage people to get out of, you've always got that fear in the back of your head, whether it's valid or not, that the other person is going to do harm to themselves or others, if they're in a heightened, saddened, emotional state, and the brutal truth of it is you are not responsible for other people's feelings and emotions and other actions.

And it's nice to feel, it's not a good one. It's a nice thing to feel that concern for the people. That's empathy. Don't lose that. It's not a matter of not being empathetic, but it's a matter of understanding where you're responsibility to somebody else. Like them keeping you in a relationship because you're worried that they'll hurt themselves.

That's not a good situation to be in. So I mean, make sure that when you do it, that they're not, you've not isolated them. Like don't go on holiday with them. And they'll be like, hey, guess what? It's fucking over. Thanks, hey, thanks for coming to where I live, just to let you know it's over day one.

I know you fly back and awake, but hopefully you can get over it. Scotland's beautiful, have a walk. Like that's not a kind of way to do it. Do it a place where you know they can get support afterwards and where you can. But yeah, I mean, do get out of it as soon as you, as you fucking can.

Like why, why wait a second It's oddly narcissistic to think about the effect that you breaking up with someone has on them Because people think it's empathy, but it's not its narcissism. It's the belief that without me How could you go on? I mean, I'm I'm so fantastic. I'm obviously your entire world Your life before me was essentially just one big warmer routine. Awaiting my arrival, now the king or the queen is here, and you're just going to be this slubbering mess on the floor, this grey goo, this guy. How are you ever going to get a better deck than this?

I killed myself too. If I were you and I was losing this, I'd be gone. Not really end of me. So yeah, I mean, that is what it is. Fuck, man. What about people that break up? I think you talk about this in the book. People that want to break up because they have the allure of novelty of being single again and just wanting to fuck lots of people. Well, I think that's, I mean, I've always said the number, what I believe the number one cause of breakups and divorce later on in life is

curiosity, which is is like you know, um, this, but let's let's be true love is brilliant and it's what we all should be looking for in life but we should always looking for it in its truest form just because we're so desperate to find the real thing doesn't mean we should buy a knockoff one other way or settle for a fucking knockoff one. Love is really, really brilliant to expect. In fact, I've rambled so much, I've forgotten the question. Go again. No, we're talking about whether people should break up because they want to fuck lots of different people. Oh, well, I mean, should is an interesting way to phrase it, but yeah, like you do get, if you fall in love in high school,

man, when you've got no other love to compare it to, like, and you do, and you stay together all that time and you have kids early on because that's part of the plan. There will be a point when you're 30 or 40, and you've been with this person for 15 years where you just get curious. And it's not, in like, I think I'm going to do well,

but it's you just don't know. Your friends aren't in relationships, one of them goes through do well but it's you just don't know your friends aren't in relationships one of them goes through a divorce or you're just so used to this is your new normal now that you know now that your kids are teenagers you can slow down a bit and suddenly you're a different person than you were several years ago of course you are because you've gone through this and those are the parts of your width it's a different person because you've gone through this and those of the person you're with is a different person because you've all gone through these changes. Now hopefully you grow to get there and sometimes you don't but you can still learn to be with each other during that. But you get this idea of like, oh man, if I was single, I'd be fucking great at it. Like, oh

man, I'd be this, I've got this. And it's all a lie. It's all this illusion in our heads that you know, we, I used to have a joke about it this, and it's all a lie. It's all this illusion in our heads that you know, we, I used to have a joke about it on stage that I could never get working, which was like when you're in a relationship and you picked your being single, you're like a lion that's been raised on a zoo, like and it's just you're behind the bars

and you're looking at all the humans like man if these bars weren't here, I get everyone and you're on the fucking king of Savannah, I'd more you all fucking down. In reality, if these bars weren't here, I gave everyone a young, the fucking King of Savannah, I had more you all fucking down. In reality, if you were to drop a cage line who grew up in a zoo in the Savannah, it would be dead in three fucking hours. It's never had to hunt for meat,

it had zookeepers just bring it out, like it would be, it would be killed by a fucking gazelle. Like a cell would just run into the side of it, and it wouldn't know what to do, and it would whimper and die, like that's people in relationship. But I think they just took that as a massive answer and they didn't like the joke.

The grass is always greener with this stuff, man. And I think, yeah, so many people that are in relationships that have been in them for a very, very long time, they don't know what single life is actually like. Like, I'm not talking about the idealized top 5% of being single. The excitement of speaking to someone and not knowing if you're gonna get it on and then they're going back to the house

and the taxi ride where you're fumbling around in the back on the way there and being told by the taxi driver to stop doing that, you can't do that in here mate. And like that's that bit fun. But the wake up the next day with the hangover and the existential angst the constant feelings of insufficiency and insecurity about whether or not this person does like

the fucking time the tar oh my dear lord the amount of time on WhatsApp or on fucking Instagram or whatever. Yeah and then all the loneliness is well. I mean, being single is a lot of time. And you have to, if you've been in a relationship for 15 years, not the fucker, you ain't good at being alone. I know it's alluring to you, but go on a fishing trip. Like, you're not ready for real alone. Like, that's why people get into relationships is because they're so bad at being alone.

The other one is the is the is the safer option for them. But I always think when people are do get that curiosity of like, I wish I were single. I'm like, man, understand those well. On the other side, you've got people out here in the single game wishing they'd been in relationships for 15 years, wishing they had that emotional connection with someone and that life journey. Like it's all about perspective and whatnot, but it's also why I feel very secure in my relationship because like I'm very in love with my fiance. She's wonderful. We've been together for four and a bit years now. But before her, I lived a life man. Like, I'm not getting curious

what I'm 45. I did it. It was fun. It's not me anymore. But like I always wanted to settle down and have kids. Like, and that was always part of my plan. I love children. And I like, and that was always part of my plan. I love children and I just have always wanted to be a dad, but I always knew that, you know, that was the, when you start that chapter, if you do it right, the goal is for that to be forever. You don't want to do it multiple times. Best case scenario is it's hard, and to do that, I had to make sure that I wasn't going to be curious. I had to make sure that when I was 15, no part of my brain was like, I wonder what a three-sums like. I had to make sure I knew.

Dude, I've got a friend who's big in the pick-up artistry and I was talking to him a years ago about this. And I was like, man, you put in a lot of graft with women. I could unforgivable amount of time that you put in. He was like, yeah, dude, my future wife better thank me for all of this time and effort I'm putting in. I was like, please elaborate to me on how your future wife should be so thankful

that you've sprayed it around for the last decade of your life. And he's like, well, I don't ever want to be walking down the street with my misses and our two kids and look at a Brazilian girl and think, I wanna know what it's like to fuck a Brazilian girl. I wanna have done it. I wanna have ticked off every single one of the different sexual kinks that I've got

because closing those loops gives my future wife the best opportunity for us to make it work. I'm like, well, that might be... And also, the other way around, man, like I'm glad my fiance lived a fucking life before me, man. Like, I find jealousy one of the most insane things in a relationship. Especially if it's jealousy on your partner's previous actions before you. I'm a big believer in the second we get into a new relationship, unless it's murder or pedophilia, you've got to forgive me for everything I did before this second, because I didn't know you existed before this. All of that, don't get

wrong, is a fair representation of my character, and I will always, you know, you have to stand by your actions, even the bad ones, and you'd meet while they were fucking wrong. But like, you know, my feelings, I mean, I write a poster in the book and this was when I wasn't with my fiancee. I think I wrote that I really hope she was out there in the world sucking dick right now, because I wanted to be good at it. And I wanted to not be curious when I... We're older together. Of course, I wanted to have to live a fucking life. Every time she talks about, like, you know, we're very open in our relationship, which is about, you know, past con quests and stuff. And, man, I'm proud of it.

Because I wasn't there, and it's nice to know that, like, man, I got... Like, I got a good one. This is like finding it that you killed a general like this is like I Took one of the goats out the game other fuckers. This is cool Now if you retire Michael Jordan come on you got a that's a badge What you thought's on Tinder? Oh I loved it back when it was good Back when there was the the golden era of Tinder. Oh, I loved it back when it was good. Back when there was the golden era of Tinder. What was that? Before all the losers fucking found it.

Tinder was this whispered secret promise of this app, which is there's an app just for hookups and you were like, what, what, no way, there's no way that's true. And like, it's just like minding people. Because before it was like plenty of fish, which is a dating one, I'd done that when I was single, but I always felt bad, because there's a dating website and I was, I don't wanna date. Yeah, I've won. I've won.

It's also designed and looks very much like if the Sunday sun made a dating site. Yeah. I know that aesthetics and user experiences and everything, but I want, you know, Tinder feels at least it felt a little bit more slick. Yeah, it did. And it felt, and it was just, and it was so shallow. And it was just so openly shallow. Like it was just, yeah, man, you can read about them. But like, let's not kid ourselves

what the first law is. Like, and you just swiped, and it was a very different experience for men and women, and I know that I'm getting it from the perspective of, when it fit, I was a zedless fucking straight white man on it. So I'm not getting the level of abuse, the women are getting on. But this was, again, before all that happened, this was still the exciting times. And I remember it just being funny,

because everyone was like, it's just a hook-up. I'm like, Oh, God, I don't know how to, I don't think I know how to just hook up with someone. Like I normally like date and then build up to it. Like, what do we do? And then I was in Australia and like, I might have to go on it. We went it for a couple of drinks. And it was like, it was hard after like four hours. I was like, Shall we go bang? And I was like, huh? And she was like, yeah, like you want to go, because it's sort of tender. And I'm like, all right, yeah, great. And I'm like, man, this is, I was like, it's grinder.

Cause I've got gay friends. And grinder was just this promise land of like, hey, I've got a button that gets me sex whenever I want it. Because it's an app of like munged, horny fucking man. And it felt like we'd got that, we had a great night. And then I remember like the morning after, where I asked her, where the morning I went, can I have your number?

And she just went, why? You don't live here? I'm not coming to Scotland. And I was like, oh my god. I couldn't fucking believe it. And then she kissed me and said, can I come see you later? She's like, no, go believe it and then like she kissed me and I was like can I come see you later she's like no go it's done I was like oh my god and like that was tender from my experience like whenever I went to America and the UK and stuff was just I would keep meeting

women who were just very similar along the lines of it like Like, you're here for three days, let's have fun for three days. You know, it's like the perfect, I always argue, it's like the perfect, what a relationship is. You get three days of all the lost, all the attraction, all the sex, but without them learning all of your flaws, without you learning all of their flaws. And in the future, like, you know, 20 years down the line when she's married and have kids and she's having a rough day, she can fondly reminisce to the time that we were in Denver Colorado together

as you got a headband, you know, you're through a headboard by a comedian and then I can look back and it says perfect memory, you know, in the past. And then you start getting all the fucking, you know, and then everyone started fighting out about Tinder and then you start getting all the, I'm not here for a one night stand, can'ts. And you're like, get off the fucking app then. This is the one night stand-up, you fucking asshole. How far, we were having so much fun. These are our people, this was our place.

You have come into our sacred place and you've ruined it. Yeah, yeah. And I know men ruined it. I know it was, I know it was my fucking team being creepy and weird and like, you know There was a golden time when it was just all the fun people put it was like Ray. I never heard of fucking Ray. No Oh, right, so right. Oh, let me tell you about this. It's the famous tender, right? There's a celebrity tender Okay, right? So you've got to be like fucking verified on, I think it's like Twitter and Instagram and you've got to like send them your profile and they decide if you're verified.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I went and he comes told me about it. Put a recommendation. Jesus, they told me no. I've never been on it. Don't, don't, don't, don't fucking, don't, don't be better like six or seven years ago like and and I was I And it's man it's better to liberate tender. So it's like there's just just they're all all fancy a Kardashian tonight to a fancy a Cummings to a fancy whatever Fuckin hell. Oh god Jesus Christ there are a lot of their peas on the In the female section strange. Alright, so given the fact that you're very happily engaged now,

yes. Do you look back on Jigsaw in a different light and in your thought process around Jigsaw differently or? No, and the thing that annoys me is the amount of people, the animat, I get it. I know it's a joke most of the time when people call me a hypocrite. Like, it's the joke I'd fucking make. Like, I get it. But, and I'm purely a personal, winy level. I'm like, I'm not a hypocrite. Jigsaw was never, I never once said love wasn't real. The whole point was it definitely exists. And that's what I was after. It was meant to be, the whole point was, you know, I kept forcing myself into relationships because I was after. It was meant to be, the whole point was, I kept forcing myself into relationships because I was so desperate to be in a relationship

because that's why I thought I had to do. I would compromise myself so much in relationships because that's why I'd learned relationships were about sacrifice and about sacrificing part of yourselves for the greater good of this relationship so you and this person can be together forever. And then just settling and giving up and compromising your own happiness for the sake of the greater good.

And I didn't pull that shit. I don't, I refuse to believe that's what a relationship is. That's what I've done so many times and I've hated all those relationships. So now I'm going to make sure that in the future, you have to love 100% of who I am. And that was all thing. You have to truly love me for all of me. And I have found someone like that.

Don't get me wrong, it's weird. You think you want it. And then you find somebody who actually loves 100% of you and you're like, oh, you're fucked up. You shouldn't, you definitely shouldn't love all of me. Like there are, now that you love all of me, I guess I do kind of after I admit that I am a flawed person. And maybe you shouldn't love those flaws

because if you love them, I'll not improve them. And it would be nice to, you know, I only hold myself to a certain level, but because I love you more than I love myself, it would be nicer for you to say you know, can't it me up and But even then I think she she just wants the best for me and she as long as I'm happy She's happy and that is exactly the type of relationship I was yelling about And the one that you should say I thought like the whole thing was she is bet for me

She's better than being single and that was always I was, the whole thing was she is better for me, she's better than being single. And that was always, I was like, yeah, being single was so much fun for me, that if you were going to get me into a relationship, it had to be fucking better. It had to be no, and the second it stopped being better than being single, I'm out that fucking relationship, because the other thing is good, I'm always going to go for what makes me happier. Now, definitely happier than I was when I was single, consistently, all the time, makes me happier. Now, definitely happier than I was when I was single consistently, all the time. Not been any, the only arguments we've ever had so far is when I'm being the psychopath. And that was just like during my pandemic and that was a narcissist going from all the attention in the world to none of it. So it was just a adjustment on my side.

Some people use that lack of love from the other side is like a, that's an attractive quality or like elements that the other side pulls away. You know when people get too keen or when people do begin to love 100% of you, you can actually start to pull away from that because you think, hang on, if I don't fully love myself and this person does,

fuck, there must be something wrong with them which means that it shouldn't be in a relationship with them. So bizarre that the thing that we've wanted all along, which is for someone to accept us for our flaws, you know, what's an all, success is an all to support us through good times and bad, when someone does do that, because we have such an inherently poor own self-image, we actually get turned off by that. Yeah, yeah. And I think you can get beyond that.

You just have to acknowledge that's what is happening there. What is that? It's somebody's truly loving you for who you are. It's not a bad thing on their part. You should use that to go right. They do love who all of I am and I love them so much. I should be better because I want to fucking bad it. I don't want to make them love a piece of shit. Like I don't mind my own, like, I can all hear her own reputation, but if I'm just walking around looking like shit, smelling like shit and they still love me, that's very irresponsible of me.

Like, I should be making them, you know, they're always gonna be proud of their love. Yeah, but I should be doing my best to make sure that other people are outgoing. Have you seen what she's let him get away with? Like, he's just, he's a beast, no, he's a smelly, decrepit beast, I can't. And no, she still loves him. She says, there's hearts good apparently. Yeah, fucking weird. Another thing is when people,

if you fall quite hard for someone, if you love someone very quickly, or if you're spending a little bit of time, the same thing can happen. If you get too keen too fast, the amount of game playing, I think this is something that I struggled with a lot during my 20s because I wanted to be loved. Like I really, really wanted, I'm quite an affectionate person which I think that you are as well. Like I just really, really wanted to be loved and have an emotional connection with somebody. And what it leads to is you, your emotions end up being further ahead of how you're displaying your emotions to the other person. So like your emotions end up being further ahead of how you're displaying your emotions to the other person. So your emotions are moving at a thousand miles an hour and you're like,

right, yeah, but I need to pump the brakes on what I'm actually texting this person or saying to them in front. So you end up playing this weird, reserved, game version of you because you know if you come on too strong too fast, this person's going to go away. Yeah, trying to decode each other's messages, like, wait, I do a bit of it. There were so many things I did love about being single but man It was stressful that boy. So like is this the right thing to how long?

I wait to reply. Should I wait like is this is this is this too forward like I don't want to make this person comfortable But is it not or is it not forward enough like have I made or not also have I made sure that like, you know, if it is just a fling I'm after it, they know that that's what the goal is. And I'm like, yeah, I'm not tricking someone to, I'm not making someone feel like I'm after a relationship, like I'm not giving them mixed signals, but let's also make sure that I'm not getting fucking mixed signals. Like, let's make sure that I'm making edits. Yeah, a whole bunch of. It's a fucking minefield, man. Like this this is the thing this is the thing for the boomers out there off

As someone that's been in a relationship for ages. It's looking at Tinder and fucking only fans You would be shitted it every single one of you wouldn't last a fucking second It would be like signing up to the army now you decrep it old cunts You'd be shot dead by a sniper you didn't even know was on the field Like it would just it would be a fucking drone straight and you're over, like, I, yeah, none of you, none of you, if you're over 40, it's over, okay. If you've seen those memes and it's where everyone's in the church and they're sat and everyone has got a gun behind them and then there's another frame of a sniper upon a rooftop and there's another frame of another sniper upon a rooftop. Yeah, it's like that, man.

You talk about having a child having license and this is something like this is the most broad science thing ever. My dad's been saying this for as long as I can remember. I can't believe that you have to get a license to drive, but all of these idiots have had children without one. Yeah, yeah. Matt, even other people, I include myself now, fuckingless. I do not think I think it's the greatest oversight in humanity

Now that we just let anyone Pretty much as they want and I include myself in that there should be a point where I You know have to pass certain tests and In order to have kids because some people aren't fit to be parents and then some people who want to be who are fit to be parents can't be on the other side. So you've got all these people that you know for fertility reasons they would be wonderful parents but they just fucking can't. I think we need to level the game and also that's a very like close to it. That's one of the bits of the book where on stage I know how to make something very obviously a joke right and it's easier because you can be more subtle on stage.

It's the twinkle in an eye, it's the tone of voice, it's a little bit of fucking prolonged eye contact, the legs, the audience, no wink, wink. I'm just going to say something horrible here, and that's the joke itself. I don't know how it comes across in a book. I'm like, there's so many bits in that book. I'm like, if you just read that straight out, like, I... I don't know how it comes across in a book. There's so many bits in that book.

I'm like, if you just read that straight out, I can't read that book without hearing it in your accent. I challenge anybody to read that book without hearing it in a broad Scottish accent. For people that don't fucking know it, I don't like that. Why did they want the book then? They've bought a book called, everybody you know is going to die because what because it was on fucking the WH Smiths counter in the airport and they thought oh, I'm off a way to

Monorca I better get I better get myself a nice light read. It's between Dan Brown and Daniel's loss I won't bother with the new fucking Yeah, I want the two Angels on demons book The front cover Yeah, yeah It's that type Yeah, I agree, but it's just one of those in a time of clickbait culture and you know, just people trying to sell Stories, but you could very easily there's so many bits of that joke where you can just so

So many bits in that book where you can just take so, there's so many bits of that book where you can just take it out of context and that's, and start a good fire. I mean, but thankfully I'm, I'm not on Twitter, therefore, I am absolutely fucking immune, completely immune. Yeah, what, uh, why did you call it that? Why is it, why is that the name? I, that was actually the publishers, uh, choice, because I couldn't think of any title.

And also I hate, this is going to be an accidental slam on some people, I don't mean it to be. But like, if you're a comedian and you're writing a book or a TV show and your name is in the title, you're narcissist. Like, what I happened when I was 18, I had a pilot for the BBC called everyone. I don't know what it was, it was, it was called the Adventures of Daniel. Like, just because the BBC was so obsessed with getting my fucking name and I'm like, just call it anything. It doesn't matter, people don't know who I am. Like, the name doesn't have to be, this isn't sign-filled,

we go, why is it called? Oh! Like, and so they were like, just call it Daniel's losses book, or it's that it pans on,, on then I'm like, keep, my name should only be on the fucking side of it. And I don't want it to be any sort of promise. I don't want it to be a, I don't want the book to be,

the title to be any unfulfillable promise. Like I'm gonna fix your life, I'm gonna make you feel better, I'm gonna do this. And it was just, it's one of the lines in the book, which is one of the rats that I have, where it is, we pretend that death is a bad thing even though it gets rid of all the bastards. Sometimes we were all dead, it's really sad when somebody loved that. But why are we pretending for a second that there are some people on this planet who every second they've been on this planet who every second

they've been on this planet have tried to make it a worse place and knowingly made it a worse place for their own fucking profits. When those people die, it is objectively fucking good, objectively good. Equal opportunities employ us. Yeah, man, I've got two bottles of champagne. I bought several years ago and on the sides of those bottles of champagne are the names of two celebrities who will remain nameless. But the day they fucking die and it's not going on Instagram, it's not, it's not for anyone else bit about movies. That was the best bit about Game of Thrones. When bad people you hate die, great. How do you deal with death? Because you've dealt with a little bit

of it. I'm yet to have anyone close in my family die. How do you deal with it? I mean not. Well nobody deals with it. Well that's the problem. Oh well not his. Everyone deals with it as well as they can the problem. Oh, well, no, here's everyone deals with it as well as they can, but there's no perfect way to deal with it. There's no, I mean, I was about to say there's no right and wrong way. There's definitely wrong way. What's the wrong way? Oh, you know, taking it out on an entire group of people and killing them, uh, blowing, killing yourself, deciding though it's not worth it anymore, becoming an alcoholic, becoming a drug addict, you know, doing things that are, you know, not, not steps towards getting over the grief, but sometimes steps towards getting over

the grief look unusual to people not grieving. And because people grieve in different ways, you'll get a lot of people who shouldn't do that. Like for so many people, and this is understandable, where they can't or don't want to laugh after death, which is, man, we get it. Grief is this overwhelming ball around you that you're just in. And sometimes like laughter just feels disingenuous or even cruel at that point. But to other people, it's the fucking life raft. It's the one, it's the bit that reminds them in the group. To laugh in the face of grief is one of the most defined things in the fucking world. And it's truly the only way to beat it for me personally.

The only time I've ever come out of truly come out of sadness and the moments where I know I'm saying, the moments when I know I'm doing better are when I'm laughing. And man, when you're drowning, you don't care what it is that's keeping you afloat. Like, sure you get up there and you're like, oh, fuck, this is 19 babies tied together. I really wish 19 babies tied together weren't keeping me afloat. Like, this is objectively evil and a bad thing. But I'm not drowning anymore. Oh, let me go over to this other thing that's floating because I don't want to be killed.

Oh, God, it's a bunch of pensioners. It's okay. And these are alive. Like, is it morally better to like be floating because a bunch of dead babies? Or is it better to like flip them over and then I think, you know, just keep in the head above water. And people want to be grief police. They want to tell you that you shouldn't laugh at these things that jokes about dead people are disrespectful. You go only if the dead person when they were alive says that's disrespectful. Understand, when I die, open fucking season on me for everyone. I'm the comedian, right? I want to fucking die the way I live. You made fun of me when I was alive, make fun of me when I'm dead.

Cut this fucking clip out and let people let them fucking roast me. Say the worst I live. You made fun of me when I was alive, make fun of me when I'm dead. Cut this fucking clip out and let people, let them fucking roast me, say the worst fucking things. So when the future wouldn't have been, nobody's being disrespectful by laughing at me. Because that's what I wanted my life to be was to make people laugh. So in my death, I want to make people laugh. I don't want, I've always said my funeral,

what I wanted to be is every single person in my life going up on stage and telling the worst story about me. Like just a time when I was rude, a time when I was selfish, a time when I was maybe cruel or forgetful or unforgiving and just all these of the other things. So just by the end of the funeral, people go, oh, maybe it's good. Like, maybe, like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that I've heard those, like 200, you've got a group of people at the back of the room that have all popped bottles of champagne. He's fucking God bitches. I'm not against any of that. If you get laughing, my fucking funeral, that's it, because also I want

because man I like as the narcissist we were saying before like you know when you break up with someone you imagine you've ruined their life and there's no recovery. We do get the same narcissism like man when I'm dead how will the world go on? How will how well they Christopher, this you live without me. Fucking with Glee, my friend. And for many years, I get the impression given the lifestyle that you've gone through. I, oh, God, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We finally did the team and we were in, we were in a story and just the comedians out there. It was the first time me and I have ever had this compliment. It's a compliment we've always known, we were worthy of,

but it's one we've just never been given. And it's just one of the things that has been like, man, like we genuinely don't understand how you tour the way you tour. Like it's just like, it nobody else does it like that. We were like, good, good, right? Just as long as we're aware, we are the only, we're not gonna roll comedians truly left. What's that mean? Well I mean we were so well at least for me when I was younger I was so desperate to you know be a touring comic can you build

it up in your head that you go out and you you know you're drinking you part in you and live these lives so there was times when we were like at least on main guys fucking first tour we were at least on May Guys fucking first tour. We were so desperate because we're like, we're not 60 day tour, like for 50 dates over 60 days. And we would go out drinking on a Tuesday in Bambri after playing to 25 fucking people. Like, let's go out, let's try and get laid and we're like, man, just go to fucking bed. What are you did? Like we got a fucking beckselling on a Wednesday, both sharing a travel lodge

and then we'd be in the car park downstairs, smoking weed, just hotboxing his vox for a lastre because we were gonna like to smoke in the rooms because we were so desperate, like this is too... This is rock and roll, yeah. And then when the tour started getting bigger, like when we started doing Euro-Bun stuff,

like we were going from city to city to city to city to city every night, but after each show we would go out and get drunk because we were going to drink, because we always thought it was going to be over. We couldn't believe that we were getting in Lithuania or Poland or Estonia or any of these places. And so we'd drink until three in the morning and then get on the plane the next day, fly to the next place. And because that new place is so excited to see you as well, they want to go out as well. And we would just say, okay, I guess we're just going out and we're going to do this because we might not ever get to do this tour again. And then that tour happens, say, for more times,

in now I'm an alcoholic. And that's how it gets here. And now you're going to America, tomorrow. Yeah, tomorrow, yeah. And this will be, I mean, after this one, because of the way the tour has been, and because of how I handle things after this one, because of the way the tour has been and because of how I handle things during the pandemic, like I'm making one of those vows to myself where I'm going to be after this tour is done. And once I get back from America, that's me going sober for a bit. Why after this tour? Why not for this tour?

Because that would be a, that's not a realistic goal. That is not a, but I'm going back to America. Do you know how many British comedians have cracked America? It's like four. It's like, you know, I'm, then it's a, like, I, to this day, I can't believe that I get to, you know, 47. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, so we're there. We're for 52 days and I think it's like 35 shows. That's disgusting. Yeah. And it's, you know, I'm, man, when we're doing like real,

like we're doing the beacon theater, we're doing the orphian, we're doing the Wilbur twice, like we're doing theaters that like when I was growing up watching stand up and then consuming stand up, like these are the venues that have, like all the big dogs fucking performed at. So just being doing a tour, actually playing and selling out those venues, I'm like, I'm not doing that, I'm not doing that to the way I think it should be done.

And the way I think that it should be done is enjoying every second of it, not saying no to fucking anything. We've got two managers again. Like it's his job to drive us places. And I know, no big big shout out to Andy, oh my two managers, like he enjoys it too. Because man, we're not like fucking, we're not meth heads. We're not doing coke every fucking night or the heroin. Like we're just, we like drinking and we like marijuana. And, you know, we haven't been able to tour the America in two years. It's genuinely despite America's deep, deep problems with literally everything.

I think they are some of the most comedy intelligent audiences in the world because they've had their type of comedy of storytellers that's been there, they're very comedy-literate and that's why they're front and performing. So, don't make the man, there's comedy clubs in every single fucking state and good ones, it's several ones, like it's comedy's been part of a stand-up comedy especially, it has probably existed in a manor kind, say, the longest, at least in its current form. What's an American audience like compared with the British one? A bit more shitty. What's that mean? Oh, shooty. I thought you said shitty. Oh, no, also true. No, no, no. They are, I mean, they're more, they're scarier to offend. They're a British personal, right, a letter on American,

I'll kick your head and outside. You know, Americans, you know, they take things, when they do take things personally, taking it personally has a right. Right, consequences. Yeah, they are much more high energy. Like, one of the things I really find fascinating about American audiences

is the American confidence is something that just doesn't exist in the world. American even unconfident Americans who tell you they're unconfident are still some of the most competent people. Americans are so violently themselves. They're just so 110% American all of the time like I've never like even introverted America's like I'm introverted and you're like buddy you ain't like the fuck are you talking about But that confidence in an audience is unbelievable because if you're doing a gig in let's say like a sense of part of the England London, right? You're doing a gig in London. You do a risky joke about whatever. If there are 50% of the audience don't like that joke, right? Another 50% don't. That 50% they do like are not gonna laugh because British people like laughing as groups,

like a lot of audiences would go, okay, oh no, it's part of the fucking state of school and I don't wanna fucking stand out here because I don't wanna have to, you know, defend my decision to laugh here, and I'm not confident enough to be the one laughing alone. Every American has the confidence to laugh alone. They couldn't give a fucking shit.

Like I've done, I've just been at comedy clubs where there's 300 people in a room and a comedian's on stage, and only seven people are enjoying that comedian, but fucking hell, those seven are enjoying that comedian. And they'll make it, nope. They'll clap, they'll fucking cheer, they'll say hell yeah, wow all that fucking shit that the Americans do is an audience. You're not a fan of the woo though. Hey T. I think it's the most disruptive thing in the entire world for comedy is timing. That's the

comedy's all about fucking timing and a woo was just like a Rick Flair heckle. This isn't you helping the show. This is you so desperate to be hard, so desperate and you're doing it because you agree with something ahead. So it's virtue signaling in a way. Like it's this, like I say something, you go, wow, you're like, my mother fucker, I don't care if you agree. I said it.

It's my fucker point. Just fuck up. Okay, hey, hey, hey, never forget, you all pay to look this way and I get paid to look that way. That's the fucking dynamic, shut the fuck up. What about good friendships? Can you talk about that in the book, right? And you talk about Kai and two manager and stuff like that. We've got friends with girls that you've been friends with for years. And what about principles of good friendship and lessons that you've got from that? I think it's, you know, I would say, my friends will all tell you that I'm a very, very good friend. I sometimes feel like a bad friend because I'm really bad at communication and staying in contact type of friends.

If you're in front of me as my friend, I'll talk to you for hours and hours and hours until you go. But it's one of my friends takes me, hey, how are you? I'm like, eh, what are you doing? Like, I'll talk to you when I fucking see you. Like I travel, I'm gonna be on my photo. They just, you know, imagine you, but I do like my friends from high school and the ones that do keep in contact with me because, you know, the friendships I've had, the longest and the people that have known you the longest are very, very good at

telling you when you're not being true to yourself. Like they're the ones that, you know, are able to, you know, they're very supportive, at least my friends are, but anytime I've stepped out of line or let my ego's gone too fucking big or they feel like I'm going in a direction that's not me, they'll go, oh, decade, it's been because who I am, doesn't matter to them. And then that's absolutely the way it should be. Like I am the only people that think

famous and important are the people that fucking love me. And you should enjoy their opinions, but you should, that shouldn't be what you think of yourself. It's the people that have known you the, the longest. And I, I think it's very, very important to have friends for, your friends that you can trust to do anything for you and who you would do anything for, but ones that are going to be honest when you need trust to do anything for you and who you would do anything for, but ones that are going to be honest when you need them to be. Like that's, you know, in a world of fucking lies and bullshit, you need the people that are well until you're dead and the eyes and go, you're a cunt now.

And I've had that happen a lot at different points in my life from people I love. Been like, you're turning into a fucking cunt, and every time it made me take a big step back and go, okay, like that heart don't get me wrong, that was a deep kick in the fucking balls there, but you wouldn't be saying it if it wasn't true. It's one of those things. We've got a loneliness pandemic

or a loneliness epidemic sort of sweeping the world at the moment, and it is, it's one of those things. I'm surprised by some of the comments that I see on YouTube. I did an episode with John Peterson and we talked about losing friends as you grow older. So as you grow up and you kind of change and maybe people will with you, but you're not that person that they were with anymore. It's not that they actually love the essence of you, it's that they loved party Dan or TV Dan or whatever the fuck. And I was really surprised in the comments because people were saying a lot of people, and this may skew because YouTube attract people

who maybe spend more time on the internet than they do with friends, but I was really surprised that how many people said, don't need friends. Like try to work with other people. I'll make a go of it on my own. I'm like, man, I understand the compulsion of where that's coming from. I genuinely do.

Like, the world's scorned you, and you've tried to make friends with people, and it hasn't worked, and you're nothing, right? Fuck that, I'm not gonna bother. I'm just gonna keep to myself, and this is a safer way to not get hurt. I'm just surprised. I'm surprised by how many people,

how many people have that approach. Yeah, and that, man, that saddens me, man. Like, I, man, I love my, I love my friends and I wouldn't be the person I am today without them. Like, I'm terrified of the person. I would be if I was just given fucking free range and not corrected and I'm not being corrected in bad ways. I'm not being hampered or, you know, cut down.

But there's people that no one want the best for me and when I'm not acting with in bad ways. I'm not being hampered or cut down, but there's people that no one want the best for me. And when I'm not acting with my, because we like to think we know when we're acting with our own inner, own self-interest, but that's not how the ego works. And that's not how, you know, we're not that, at least I'm not that fucking intelligent that I don't know when I'm self-sabotaging

or when I'm being fucking lazy. Or man, on the other side of things, like man, there was points on this tour, during this tour now where I fucking hated the show, like because I just done it too much and I was just, if I was being, if now that I'm past it, I can be honest, I was getting just a bit lazy, I was kind of raining it in a bit and we did some shows in London and London's very sensitive nowadays and I was fucking hating the show and I was just ranting about it to anyone that was fucking listening. And it was my friends that have known me for several years and seen all my stuff that

were like, okay, cool. We're sad that you're sad, but this is a good show. And we know it better than you do at this point, like you're being illogical. On the other side of things, it helps. But man, I'm very good at cutting people out my life too. Like if there's somebody in my life who I don't like it, like just because we've been friends for eight to nine years, like if you make such a turn in personality

that I can't see eye to eye with you anymore, and not just like on a fucking little political thing. Like I don't want to be one of those people where, man, I don't agree with you politically, but we're still friends. Like I think it's politics is such a small thing and in the actual experience of life to lose. Yeah, we wonder if far more than like,

what are your thoughts of fiscal policy or where should we be at to do with this type of like, good regulation or some fucking building? Yeah, and I don't really want to, I think it's important to have fucking feelings on those things and opinions and everything. But for me personally, for who I am, I don't really care. Like I don't talk about our vote and your vote and then that's what all happened.

We're not going to change each other's opinions realistically. But if there's something that's done something reprehensible or I just think they've become a shitty fucking person, I can cut you out like that and feel. And the reason I can do that is because I've got a bunch of other friends. That's why you need lots. Back up, armour. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You were talking about having lost a little bit of love for one of the shows that you did. So you're touring and you did this with a bunch of different shows. You've done one of them, like, 400 times or something or five. We did it, we did it, we did it, we did it X. I think was, yeah, 300 performances of X. Just going to sing him out of times. Yeah, yeah, we did X, I think was 300 performances of X. Just going to sing him out of times.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, didn't you mean about that? How do you not lose love for the art form generally? How do you stop yourself from resenting comedy wholesale because you've turned something that you love into a labour? Well, it's about slowing it down, like's about understanding that for so many years of my career, it was all about striking while the iron was hot because it was like, who knows when this is going to be over? I was given this opportunity here and I'm really hot right now. I've got a fucking act on this. Yeah, yeah. And then that went to this and

another iron strike and I've got a fucking work hard. Now I've got a capitalised on this fucking act on that card. Yeah, yeah. And then that went that went that led to this and another iron strike and I've got a fucking work hard. And I've got a capitalized on this and so on and so forth. And then the reason that that 300 show two was such a nightmare was just because it was after Netflix came out and everything blew up. And we were just constantly striking and it turned into this 300 date turn. I lost the love of the job and I was in my audience, which I never wanted to do or get to that stage because that's just such a stereotypical all of your dreams came true. And then you hated them, like, oh, fuck, you've really become that can't like you're that old trope, Jesus. But it's, I worked so many, I worked so hard for so many years so that I could take the foot off the accelerator.

And thankfully now my career is at a position where I can just go, all right, I'm established in all continents apart from, you know, Antarctica. All ones. Yeah, yeah, the cold ones. I do, you know, most territories. I think the only people I'm second to are like Eddie Azard, Jimmy. I could really glaze his and Bill Barr. And my audience are great, they're incredibly loyal, because I managed to somehow fucking make something that went quite cult, and that's been very cool.

And now it's slowing down, it's just going, man, I want to be able to do this show many times because that's, touring has always been the goal for me. I love it, it's my favorite part. That's what being a comedian is, is touring. That's the job. and we're old comic. But it's about making sure there's gaps in between those tours and that they're easy, it doesn't have to be every single day now, like it can be, I can take two or three weeks off at a time, then go to Australia, do a month in

Australia, come back, take a month off, and then start doing around the UK, just so that I've got time to be myself, because it's not fucking Daniel Sloth stage comedian that comes up with the jokes. It's not, like, he performs what I think, but I've got to have fucking time to think, to turn over stuff. Otherwise, I'm just, if I'm working every day and I'm being that heightened psychopath on stage, then that's not good. And also, I've managed to drink on stage and because after the show, when

you've got so much adrenaline, man, it's really hard to go to sleep for me without Marijuana after a show. Like, you know, if a show ends at fucking 11 and I'm meeting fans afterwards and taking photos until about midnight, half 12 and my flights at 5 a.m. Without weeds, I'm not sleeping. There's too much. And that's another fact that you have to take in. If I'm doing a big long tour, I know my health's going to fucking deteriorate because I don't have the emotional maturity yet to not feel like a fucking rock. Sorry, when I do this. I don't know, I shouldn't. And I'm working on it, but that's the, you know, this, this too is like the reason I'm allowing myself this America tour to be everything I want it to be

is because I really do think this is the last time I'll, I'll, I'll do it like this because this is the post-COVID one. Everyone's gonna be fucking excited to be out. I'm excited to be out and doing it. And I'm just like just fucking do it properly because after this I'm definitely slowly. Since you're sitting. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I mean, no, because I mean, you were in an inspiration for it. You were sober for how long? Thousand days. Yeah. So I mean, I'll not do that much. But all my friends, there's another

great comedian called Nick Coding, who went sober for a year and he said it was difficult, but it really helped. He said the first month's difficult and then after that it's a habit and it's easy. From that point, once you get used to not doing it, you know. I've always fascinated, I know I drink a lot and I'm a drug addict when it comes to marijuana, which isn't a bad thing to be Addicted to it, but it being that you can do anything isn't fucking great for years. What would be harder to kick drinking on marijuana? Marijuana. Really?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely. Yeah, I can, I like drinking on stage because well, for several reasons. It's me, I, one of the big ones, I think it makes me look cool. Like, in a re-anab, when I grew up and I watched stand up, Bill Hicks would smoke on stage, Ed Barn would smoke on stage, and I still associate smoking with being fucking cool.

Anytime I can smoke on stage, I do, even if I don't smoke. But if we're in like Russian venues or fucking Bulgaria of it, I'm like, can I smoke on stage, I do, even if I don't smoke. But if we're in Russian venues or fucking Bulgaria, I'm like, can I smoke on stage? Like, here we don't care. I'll do it really hard to time jokes. And so that's a different fact. You'd think it would just be easy, but no.

It really makes you appreciate the Del Moran and Bill Hicks were masters of timing with all this. Del Moran drinking a bottle of wine on stage. That was always just so cool. What's he doing? Is he doing stand-up still? Yes, yeah, yeah. He does a lot of acting now with days. Yeah, I knew he got huge in a TV. And writing stuff. But no, he still does stand-up. I mean, I love Dylan Moran. So for me, a man I used to drink gin and tonics on stage and that just felt like a bit fucking widow way to me. No, you know, gin and tonics are widow's drink.

It's something you drink on the porch while you do a crossword and ref, but you're fucking late husband. Well, I've waited for that. You know, I got into whiskey and I'm weird in that. You know, I got into whiskey and I'm like, I'm Scottish and it's a strong drink. And also it forces me to slow down. You can't, like, with a gin tonic, I can, I don't know, I don't know, I know, I know,

it's dead. You can't do that with whiskey. It's a real slow fucking drink. And yeah, and it's part of the performance, like it's part of the illusion, the fear of the reason. The reason you don't talk while I'm talking is because I've got so much to say that I can afford to sit down, pour myself a whiskey, drink it, and you as an audience will say, fucking nothing. Where can people go if they need to get tickets for the America tour?

Just down your slosh.com, one of the dates up there. Amazing, and everyone you hate is going to die. We'll be linked in the show notes below. Don't try and contact you on social media because you're not on there. No, I mean, you can. My agent will occasionally send me a screenshot of a nice compliment, but I don't read many of my agents email, so it doesn't bother.

I'm not even necessarily going to see that. Man, good luck with the tour, dude, and I will see you on your back. I definitely might. Big love. Love you too, bye.