Modern Wisdom - #421 - Hamza - How Men Can Survive The Modern Dating World

Episode Date: January 13, 2022

Hamza is a personal development coach and a YouTuber. Many young guys would rather watch porn and play video games than connect with the real world. This creates swathes of lonely, disconnected men and leaves women with fewer and fewer good options in the dating market. Meanwhile, Red Pill YouTube and the Manosphere can be a negative influence which keeps men stuck and demonises women, rather than helping everyone become better, happier, more attractive people. Expect to learn the biggest mistakes Hamza made when improving himself, why Fresh & Fit need to take food out of their mouth, Hamza's thoughts on Britney Spears getting naked on Instagram, how to avoid being Black Pilled with a growth mindset, if Hamza thinks the future of dating will be polygamous, why the manosphere sees women as the enemy, Hamza's reaction to Mikhaila Peterson and Rollo Tomassi's debate and much more... Sponsors: Join the Modern Wisdom Community to connect with me & other listeners - https://modernwisdom.locals.com/ Get 15% discount on Craftd London’s jewellery at https://bit.ly/cdwisdom (use code MW15) Get a Free Sample Pack of all LMNT Flavours at https://www.drinklmnt.com/modernwisdom (discount automatically applied) Extra Stuff: Subscribe to Hamza on YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/Hamza97  Get my free Reading List of 100 books to read before you die → https://chriswillx.com/books/ To support me on Patreon (thank you): https://www.patreon.com/modernwisdom - Get in touch. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chriswillx Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/chriswillx YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/modernwisdompodcast Email: https://chriswillx.com/contact/  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello everybody, welcome back to the show, my guest today is Hamza, he's a personal development coach and a YouTuber. Many young guys would rather watch porn and play video games than connect with the real world. This creates swaths of lonely, disconnected men and leaves women with fewer and fewer good options in the dating market. Meanwhile, Red Pill YouTube and the Manusphere can be a very negative influence, which keeps men stuck, and demonises women, rather than helping everyone become better, happier, more attractive people. Expect to learn, the biggest mistakes Hamza made when improving himself. Why fresh and fit need to take food out of their mouth? Hamza's thoughts on Britney Spears getting naked

on Instagram, how to avoid being blackpilled with a growth mindset. If Hamza thinks the future of dating will be polygamous, why the Manus fears sees women as the enemy, Hamza's reaction to Michaela Peterson and Rola to Massie's debate, and much more. Although they might just sound like memes or insults that people throw around in comment threads, the redpill, blackpill, Manus fear, looks, max, pick apart history. All of this stuff is part of the world that young guys are trying to absorb in an effort to become good with women. And some of it is good for guys and some of it's really terrible. And then all of the girls are downstream from this.

The women are being affected by the content that men consume almost as much as the men are. So yeah, this turns to take away from today. If you're a girl, perhaps you'll get an insight into what it's like to be a young guy, trying to work out the way that the dating market operates at the moment. And if you're a young guy, I hope that Hamza gives you some good advice.

He's got one of the fastest growing channels on YouTube at the moment, and he really does have a good insight into what it's like to be a young growth-minded guy in 2022. But now it's time for the wise and wonderful hamza. The dating YouTube space at the moment is totally fascinating and it's fragmenting in loads of little subgroups at the moment. How would you categorise the content that you make?

What's the purpose of the stuff that you put out on YouTube? I'd say holistic self-improvement. I love that term more than like I've taken a bit from everywhere right? I've done the full hardcore red pill type of stuff, I've ventured into the black pill. Other people don't have to go and look at their content, but I found that there's never really like a healthy mix between them. A lot of them will just focus like just solely on women, seeing them as the enemy, trying to be sexist towards them, regressive towards them, a lot of them just focus on like nihilism and this sense of hopelessness and I don't think

any one pill or space online really combines anything together to give a younger man the framework for a healthy life going forward revolving around good relationships. And I love the term holistic self-improvement which is just why not, why not we all just improve as much as we can. So of course we'll try and up our SMV, we'll try and attract more women and everything, but why not do that alongside things like healthy mental health practices, gratitude, mindfulness, learning things about our childhood trauma and how that shapes our dating life? You're right, there's no one pill that's got all of the answers within it, and you can

learn bits by bouncing between them but it seems like the most toxic communities are the ones where someone's got into it and then never ever left. Oh, that was maybe in the red pill for like, seven years. You can, like I think you've taken it as well, like you can really really go deep inside one of these and when you stop questioning the reliability, the accuracy of what, like, the information that you consume, you can so, you can pull like such a hindrance on your growth. Well, that's how a cult's work.

That is precisely how cult's work, that you have this leader, the leader's word cannot be questioned. All of the followers that get co-opted in, they all just believe because you're supposed to believe, and nobody questions anybody's words, and that lack of critical thinking causes it. I think about what cults do, they wrap people around, it's a geographical location, but also an ideological location, they don't permit them to grow. Have you seen my Instagram bio? No, what's it say? I'll just change it as a cult leader.

Maybe that's why you know what I'm on about. I did some research on cult and religions and I wanted to create the first healthy cult where you actually voluntarily come in. I voluntarily tell you, yeah, you're joining the cult. We're a cult of young men who don't fath anymore. It was trying to reduce our drug usage. Talk to me about no fat. Thank you. It was trying to reduce our drug usage. Talk to me about no fat. I think the online space has got this with like different perception of what it is in my opinion. I think a lot of people think like it is,

the levitation and it's gonna make you amazing everything. And it certainly will see a very, very significant change in your life if you're one of those hardcore bankers who are like, you're going multiple times a day, day messed up on and everything which to be honest like there's a fair amount of guys and I have the authentic is to say yeah 100% I was not that messed up but like I was one of those guys right and so when you go from this like multiple times a day to like not maybe let's say once every three days you're masturbating there's quite a big difference and that's like I think as far as a lot of the benefit does go. After that,

this like this again, this call online, which is telling you, okay, if you have your touch of dick again, like that's the perception that they're pushing onto young men. If you fat again, you've lost the benefits, which that blows my mind because that's so unhealthy to tell young guys it's like telling a beast guy, okay, yeah, get into the gym, get into the gym, you should go every day. If you miss a day, you lose all of the progress. That's, that's heartless, man. That's so like, I've come across more young men who have been pained by no-fap than who have just got problems with the main masturbation, yeah.

Because they get like this existential crisis where now they feel like more of a loser because they keep failing no-fap. And it's just like simple habit science, I always ask them the question like, when did you start checking off? And they'll say, age 13, they're 19 right now. So six years you've been building up this habit, you've found no-fap a few weeks ago.

Six years you've been building it up and you just think you're gonna break the habit just like that. It's like, at least for me, it took me about five years to get onto like no-fap where like, it's honestly like, it's not in my life at all. I don't even think about it. I often forget the porn and masturbation is the thing. But I was so hard on myself for the first like a year or so thinking like, I should get to day 90 or something

because it's not just about like, you know, the discipline and willpower. It's about the probably we've been building up this habit for like 10 years, right? It's like, it's going to take some time to like produce it down. I wonder how many people would benefit from no fat that aren't like pathological fappers, the people who aren't completely addicted and see it as a vice, because one of the things that I've realized recently

is that with a lot of the things we do that we don't like ourselves for doing, let's say it's using our phone too much, or maybe it's junk eating on a night time or whatever it might be, I would say that less than 50% of the problem is the actual activity that you do, and most of the problem comes from the story that you tell yourself about the type of person you are for having done that action. So a lot of the benefits that I think we get from going through any type of personal development actually comes from a reframing around capturing our own agency to do with that particular action.

Do you know what I mean? Yeah, very, very well said. That's like, it's like this bell curve where at first you don't really think that the original thing is the problem, the bice is the problem, so masturbation or, let's say, the junk food. Eventually you start to see people talk about quitting it and everything like this is when you hate the thing, you hate the thing but you can't stop it.

And so there's often this negative mental well-being stage when you're trying to start a new, but everyone kind of knows that which is like, when you finally start thinking, okay, I've gotta go to the gym, gotta lose weight, I've gotta do this. It's like, you just feel like shit for a little while because you hate the thing,

but you still have a habit or even an addiction to the thing and you've actually brought up like a fantastic point recently I've been thinking that potentially the best way to actually improve things like this whether it's no fat or healthy and it's actually way more about the self image and like the beliefs that we have about ourselves more than it actually is. You're like the stereotypical advice of like oh like you know install the website blocker and like don't buy the junk food and everything because if you're just kind of like hide the stuff away from you, like, it's like a child just saying, oh, I can't see the porn anymore so I can't be addicted or like, you know, I didn't buy the junk food so

I can't eat it anymore. But it's more, if you mean you have a chocolate bar in front of us right now, we're probably not going to eat it because it's just, it doesn't really align with our identity. We're going to think, oh, it's just not, I don't want to put it onto my fitness palette. Just have the regret. They gonna think, oh, it's just not, I don't want to put it onto my fitness palette. I just have the regret. They're like, oh, you have 400 calories for a month. Speak to yourself, man. I'm not packing at the moment.

I can eat one for the fuck I want. That's a good man. I had Charlie Hooper, from charisma on command on the show earlier this week. And we were talking about the fact that there is a tension between assisting yourself to not do the things that you don't want to do by hiding them away from you or by Creating constraints in your life. So you don't play League of Legends

So you snap the game in half and delete your Xbox account or whatever and there is a question I know that you're not a gamer because you just Any gamers who's listening to you right now Yeah, it's not your PC in half listening to you right now. Why is it PC only? Fuck, that they're giving up. Yeah, it's not the PC in half. And the problem that you have is that there is a part of you that feels defeated by that. I'm defeatist because I've assisted,

so the same as you saying, look, is keeping the junk food out of the house actually putting a blinker over your eyes so that you can't deal with the underlying problem that's causing the junk eating in the first place. I would be tempted to say that you need to give yourself assistance in the first place, like environment design is a huge part of habit building, and it's probably the case that the tools you get in the beginning that get you across the first river isn't the boat that you're supposed to carry across land to get you across the second river. It's like, look, the thing that you did that got you here isn't the thing that's going to get you there.

So if you decide to assist yourself by putting a pawn blocker on your laptop or getting rid of all the junk food out of your house or doing whatever it might be, that's fine. And then that will allow you to at least gain some momentum when your ability to stick to the habit is its weakest. Then we start to build up, we start to build up. Okay, now I've got a bit more capacity, I've got a bit more capacity. And now maybe I can look to reintroduce looking at where does my compulsion to eat junk food on an evening come from? Oh, it's actually because I'm bored because I don't have anything to do. Maybe it's because I'm lonely. Oh, well, now that I've given myself room away from the junk food, I can actually start

to fill that with something else. That's a really, really good point, actually, yeah. So the original environmental design, I often critique it. I often say, even though every scientist disagrees with me and they say, you know, like, Will Powers limited, I feel like I'm the one guy right now telling everyone rely on Will Power instead. Because in my story, like the environmental design would never even work. Because it's this idea, okay, I can not buy the junk food inside the store,

but then we've already got some at home. I can, okay, I'll throw it all out. I'll be like, I just want to do it. I'm going to throw out the junk food, but then my girlfriend's going to come back home with extra food, or I go to work. And it's like, it's a customer service job at the time, so like, motherfuckers are bringing a lot of snacks, and so on, so I'm eating that. So it's like, if the idea is like at the time so like my fuck is a bringing like a lot of snacks and stuff so I'm eating that so it's like if

the idea is like you're gonna say no one's inside of the shop the thing is if if all you have is the environmental design you're probably aren't gonna manage the entire environment around you whereas it really is that level of willpower and even like the self-image to believe that any given time like we we have junk food in the house all the time I finally love that shit but like I will pass the kitchen no problem every single day for like two years there's the stuff that I used to bingey on but the reason why is because I always try to do this thing of like no no you know don't go into the kitchen like tell my dad not to buy the crisp eventually I like I just

it's kind of like psychopathic but I got my favorite snacks just set them on the desk and just looked at them and I don't think many people have done this, but like, oh, the weird thoughts that you get about yourself and you do that, like, seriously, get the best snacks if you've ever gotten, even drugs as well. So I did this with weed and I just put it on top of the table, just with like a notepad side journaling. And it just makes you feel like a cracker

because you're like, oh, like, okay, it's the experiment. Right thing, right thing, a fucking, oh, it's to my bro. I've got it, I've written a poem, I'm outside of its window with a pair of roses. The boom bugs, isn't it? That's what I'm talking about. So you've mentioned there about this sort of

chasm of difficulty. You've got self-development depression is something that you talk about. What's that? That's one of the first stages. It's like, essentially, let's say you're a normal person, you just kind of all you know about self improvement, it's like, oh yeah, I go to the gym,

but eventually you find the space online, you start finding the books of self helping everything. Some people seem to get stuck in level one, and I think that a fair amount of like healthy people seem to breeze past this stage. So the healthy people that I've, for example, I've spoke to have coach, they'll find about meditation, no matter what event, they'll implement it fairly straightforward. Exercise, I'll tell

them, okay, yeah, start exercising for almost every single day, they'll do it no problem. There's so many people who, because it's only because of mental health, that they stuck in stage one, which is that they know what they should be doing. They just can't seem to do it. So for these people, for example, they would have had an idea, let's say, nice and simple to exercise. And they'll be like, oh, yeah, like, you know, today's the day I'm going to exercise, right? You know, it feels really relevant. They'll look back and be like, wait, it's been three weeks since I watched that motivational video. And I said, I was going to exercise again. They just, they fall straight into the same patterns.

We could grab this person, take them inside the gym with us, make them do the best workout of their lives. They're so hyped and everything, like, you know, they're making some gains, they're not going to come again for like the next month and it's this self-improvement depression because they are now in the space of hearing about people like me and even you yourself who have made progress and we're talking about you know the fantastic like stuff that comes from this and everything and they don't get to enjoy that they just can't seem to get consistent in any other habits, they can't seem to make meditation work for them. They, you know, it doesn't work and everything they've tried so many times. And it's a very, very depressing and like scary place to be because you feel quite vulnerable and like you no longer are satisfied and oblivious to your old life if you know video games and porn and

everything. But now you know the dangers of them. You've watched the videos. There's the other, oh, like I used to play video games, but now I don't play video games. And look at me, everyone, I've got girls now. And like, some little guys watching that thinking, like, we're both, I want girls, but like, I can't, he can't, he's kind of, snap his legal legends, this can happen. You would say that exactly. Exactly.

You do. Are you familiar with plate-nose allegory of the cave? Do you know that story? No. Okay, so plate-nose gives this story about three men that are chained up inside of the cave. Do you know that story? No. Okay, so plate all gives this story about three men that are chained up inside of a cave, and they're looking at a wall. Of the shadows?

Yeah, the shadows on the wall, right? And then one of them gets freed. He goes out into the world. He suffers pain. He can't see because it's so bright. He's been in the darkness. And then eventually, after looking at the reflection of the world in the water,

and then finally the world in its full color, he starts to see that, oh wow, the previous world that I thought this was all that existed is only a mere shadow of what is available for us. And he comes back in to the cave. And then he looks at his friends, he's stumbling around, he can't see because he's now in darkness, he's regressed back to the previous version of himself to try and communicate between where he is and where the people that he wants to bring up with him is. And he says to them, look guys, like this isn't the real world. I promise you out there, there is something better.

It's more blissful, it's fuller. And they're not happy. They said, look, you can't even see in here anymore. You can't see inside of the cave. This was supposed to be the place that you knew. And he can't see because he's seen what is true. He comes back, he's ostracized by the people that live at a lower resolution than him. And the argument from Plato is, like, this is the job of a philosopher. It's to try and peer through, it's to see what the truth is,

and it's to then try and tell people who need to be leveled up from that. But there is a pain associated with that. If the, if true hell is when the person that you are meets the person that you could have been, every time that you get to see the person that you could be, continue to rise up and you see that through YouTube videos with people that are doing things and crushing it and killing it and Instagram and bundles and blah blah. Every time that you see that, the ceiling of potential continues to move away and you need to try and catch up with it now. so you just continue to feel this chasm between where you are and where you could be. Well, and that's going to be painful. It kind of reminds me of the analogy of the Krabson

of Bucket mentality. So that's very common in self-improvement with one of the guys in the friendship group who find self-improvement, start working on themselves and find that no one else seems to want to climb up in the same way. And it's just blows your mind because you want to go to your friend and say, look, boys, I've been lifting some weight and I finally feel confident, you know, we're all nerds and stuff. But look at me, I've got some biceps and stuff. And they'll make fun of you.

They're like, we don't do that type of stuff here. That's fucking gay. Yeah, like you go to the, that's gay. Like, come on, man. That's the worst thing. Dude, this is the least favorite thing about British culture. My least favorite thing, by far. Like, that tall poppy syndrome is holding

so many young people back that could be amazing, that have got desires for growth that want to go and do something different, but it's terrified because every time they're trying to do something different, their immediate social circle takes the piss out of them. What's that, a tall poppy syndrome? Yeah, so you can imagine that you're looking at fields and there's a field of puppies and there's a tall one

as you go through. Which one are you going to chop down? The most likely one that you're going to chop down is the tall puppy. It's called tall poppy syndrome. I don't know the full history of it. I think it's an Australian term originally, but yeah, tall poppy syndrome. Some things sticks out, something grows faster than everything else. That's the one that gets chopped.

So which one would you rather be, like amongst the masses and just kind of seeing the same thing as everyone else, or the one up here who kind of like lives fast as you're on? Dude, that's a good question. That's a genuinely good question. So when at the first ever time that I saw John Peterson live, someone said to him, the depth of my consciousness causes me to suffer. Is it a blessing or a curse to feel everything so deeply? I'm

like, this is a really fucking smart question, because a lot of the people that are in the audience, they've maybe started to step out of Plato's cave. They've started to look around and go, look, fuck, maybe there is more to life. But by taking that decision, you are inevitably going to suffer as well. And Jordan said, basically, you, the only solution would be to regress back to a lower state of consciousness, right, to go into some lower resolution version of the world. And a lot of people escape from their insights with drugs, with alcohol, with sex, with extreme sports. Sometimes people even take their own lives in an effort to try and get away from this because they don't feel like they can find a solution. And he said, look, it's too bloody late to regress back.

What you need to do is take more of the thing that poisons you until you turn it into a tonic that girdles the world around you. He's like, you have not less consciousness but more. You go deeper, you go further in. And I'm watching this thing in my hair, even now man, reciting it, the hairs stand up on the back of my neck. I'm like, that is so correct. You need to go deeper. You need to take more of the thing that you think is the challenge. And you turn it into a tonic that girdles the world around you. That's making me think of like the beginner who starts in the gym and the first workout just absolutely kills them.

They're like, oh my god, you know how do people do this? It's like, my muscles are so sore. And if they stop right now, or even in any sport like kickboxing reminds me of, they start right now. Every single time they try to get back into the gym, they will feel the same pain or even worse than normal. And it's so interesting that the more you go, the less pain that you'll actually feel, till eventually, the pain actually becomes the pleasure. Like, we actually like, like if my chest doesn't get sore, I'm like, oh, like,

I guess I'm a little bit down. I didn't even hit that shoe. Now I'm like, oh, my God, yes, boys, like I'm finally feeling chest don'ts. Whereas before, when you get them, our perception of pain, especially in positive habits is so, so skewed when you are at like when you're currently in Plato's cave. Because I'm guessing the first character as he walked, he looks at the world through the reflection of a lake. So he walks and walks and walks until he hits a lake. And then he doesn't see the world first. The first thing that he actually sees is a reflection of the world, right? Which is kind of like the way that shadows work.

So he sees a lower resolution of a higher resolution thing. And then eventually his eyes finally begin to adjust his able to look around and see the sky and the trees and the birds and the grass. So here's a fucking cool story. There's a place in Austin called Kuyya, which is a ketamine psychotherapy, NAD, IV, vitamin IV recovery center that has sauna and cold bath. And you do what's called contrast therapy. So you're going to a sauna that goes up to 230 degrees,

and then you get into a cold tub, a single cold tub, up to your neck, hands, wrists, full works, and it's just above freezing. It's like three, three to six degrees Celsius. And when you're in the cold tub, it's a very unique kind of pain because there's nothing to distract yourself. You know when you're doing your workout, the pain is relative to the effort that you're putting in. This is completely passive pain. It's simply because you're sitting there, and it's short. You're only in there for three minutes,

three or four minutes, right? But if you can sit and just think about the sensation that you're feeling when you sit in the cold water, it stops being pain, it stops even being cold, it's no longer cold, it's this bizarre electric, sort of like, it feels like lemon, it feels like all of these things that kind of wrap around the sensation,

have fuck all to do with cold, electricity and citrus and shit, and dude, it's the best mindfulness exercise. Just sitting in there and feeling your own compulsion to want to get out, to breathe, to feel pain, to feel pleasure. It's wild. I was going to say, as you were telling me that story, that just sounds like pure mindfulness trade in there, like as in cold showers. If you try to fight the pain, fight the cold off, it's so much worse, but it's so weird that if you submit yourself to the cold, if you allow it,

suddenly like it's not as good. It's the same with exercise and everything that we do. The pain only is suffering if you fight it. But if you allow it, like that the pain actually just becomes that pleasure. That's what surrender is. That's fully what surrender is. So the first time that I went, I went with my buddy Zach, big YouTuber, and we got in and we were both fine. Then he got in his own head about being in the cold and a couple of times he got out early. And then the next time that we went, we got in the cold thing and he's, and I'm thinking, well, you're not going to last 25 seconds and he got out because he was in his own head. And then eventually after a couple of more sessions, he breaks that and then he's back in.

Nothing's changed. His physiology hasn't changed at all, but his relationship to surrendering to the thing that he's supposed to do. And this is coming back to what we said before, right? About framing what your habits mean to you. You're getting in the cold tub. Look, is this an opportunity for you to do something

which is going to make you feel amazing, which is a fascinating experience and a deep dive into your own motivations inside of your brain for three minutes that feels like 30, or is it you battling the cold? Is it you versus this thing? And I better breathe because if I don't breathe, then I'm all tense. Now, man, there's a cue that I got from one of the guys I was training with and he said, what would this be like if it was easier? And it's such a dope cue. Like what would this thing that I'm doing be like if it was easier and we were in a plank

and that was when he said it to me. It's like, hey man, just remember like, what would this be like if it was easier? And you find yourself actually easing into the movement and feeling stronger because you're not tense everywhere, you're tense where you need to be. So, such a fucking good insight. I really like that.

I read it in Greg McEwan's second book effort list. Yes, I was. Yeah. Yeah, I really love that concept. That comes up in soul with every habit I can think of right now, I've found that if you think it's going to be difficult, like the story you tell yourself, it's going to be difficult. Make a new video every day.

Absolutely. Like, it's easy now. And because of that, it is easy. Because I think it's easy and it's fun, it's going to be easy and fun. Whereas if, for example, before this call, I thought, yeah, it's going to be easy and fun, whereas if, for example, before this call, I thought, yeah, it's gonna be a fun conversation with Chris, and that's exactly what it feels like. But if I could have been tenting,

oh my God, this guy, he's got 200 followers, he's got like 200 K followers, he's got a nice jawline, and then everything I'm gonna get at you. Then it would have felt very like tense, and it would just, whatever frame of mind you put yourself in, it seems like the world just reacts in that way for you. Yeah.

Dude, I want to talk about Britney Spears. We need to simply have to talk about this. So for the people that haven't seen, one day, go Britney Spears posted a two photo carousel on her Instagram with the caption, free woman energy has never felt better. And she is completely naked, apart from a long pair of white socks. And she has an emoji of a heart over her vagina and a flower over her nipple.

And then there's another photo, if you swipe right, there is another photo where she's kind of like wide-legged and with the same emoji setup so you can go and see this. And it's got nearly three million likes but perhaps unsurprisingly she turned comments off. What's your thoughts on that, Namda? So there's a YouTuber called Alexander Grease. I sent you the link to his YouTube video. He said, a polygamy is going to be the new one. I watched that one. And he said it in like a fantastic way, where he said, imagine if the real feminist of the 1900s saw what was happening today. Like,

they would think that you were lying. If we told them, we're like, women are fighting to be more sexualized than ever, to like, to for free post pictures of themselves or that millions of hundreds of millions of people can see it The real feminists of 1900s would think that you were joking They would think that you were just like mocking them that this is like it's the sad state. We're now I especially think of like the young women and the teenagers who are kind of seeing like their idols post this and obviously We've modeled after the people that we look up to and it's kind of like okay, so post this and obviously we model after the people that we look up to and it's kind of like okay so in this bizarre counterintuitive way the modern sort of feminist narrative has encourages women more than ever to show off their bodies to be promiscuous which is kind of

like the counterintuitive aim of the 1900s movements. Certainly not a linear progression between the two. Dude, the thing that I fucking think, we need to all apologize to a dad and say, look, dad, maybe you were right. Do you see that court case? Do you see where he was basically, oh, right, okay, so the story seems like Britney Spears's dad had control over her entire life.

Like, her estate, which included her back hat log of records. I think it was like even to do with her finances, how she could spend money, it was pretty severe, right? And it seemed a bit sinister as well, especially the way it was portrayed in the press. I don't know the ins and outs of the court case, but it didn't seem fantastic. But also, Britney's had some challenges mentally

in the past, which I think was what had legitimated that in the first place. So anyway, there was this big back and forth and it was hashtag free Brittany was going on for ages, right? They wanted to give her her life back. And I don't know what the current situation of that is. I feel like she might have got more of a liberty back from her father. But you think, Brittany, if this is the first thing that you do after getting,

if you post a fully naked selfie twice on Instagram, to prove your own sanity and the fact that you don't need your father, I'm like, I don't know if we were right. I don't know if we were right. Save Brittany, maybe save Brittany, not free Brittany. I don't know if we were right. I don't know if we were right. Save Britney, maybe save Britney, not free Britney. I think to be honest, you and I are looking at this from quite a level-headed perspective,

which isn't really the general consensus of the modern world around us, whereas we're looking at this in a quite critical way, but I think the overwhelming majority of people will see this as a positive act for Feminism and for the act of expressing a sexuality. They'll see this as a confident thing, like a brave thing to do. So maybe I have too much faith in humanity, but people can let us know in the comments. If you think that what your opinion of this is, whether Brittany is liberating herself and experimenting with the sovereignty of her own body and her own social media platform, or if this is somebody that could do with

a bit of help and needs a phone call from a friend. It doesn't seem to me. I would be interested to speak to the person that says, like, go Brittany after that. And it just seems like a bad PR move as well. You've just come out of a court case where your dad had control of everything because he was worried that you're going to lose your head. And then you, I don't know. For some people, this knows this thing as bad PR though. Yeah, well, I mean, Brittany's, come on, Brittany.

It's been a while. How long was, like, her first single 20, probably 25 years ago? But that's another interesting thing. We were talking about this offline. What happens when you very quickly gain status? And think about child stars. And this is, here's an interesting one for you, man.

Brittany Spears, McColley Culkin, and Brett Weinstein, Eric Weinstein, Jordan Peterson. People at kind of the opposite ends of life and maturity, but both of which can be just gifted, global run out immediately. How the fuck are you supposed to deal with that status? Like the human brain was not meant to be able to receive international acclaim and be known by millions and millions of people, like that. Honestly, that's why you see so many of these like child celebrities with mental breakdowns.

It used to be quite a horrifying way to be quite a kind of funny to the general population. I think either it was Britney Spears or Madonna or something like trim the head off and everyone was laughing about it and everything. But it's only now as more, as we would say, normal people are starting to get fame and you know, when you and I are branching into like the dark territory where we're like somewhat normal, somewhat not. And we can start to see, like we haven't spoke about this, but you must get some kind of like hate comments every now and then it does like mess you up sometimes because we haven't even fathom the power of the internet yet and when you do read a comment it's in my belief that it feels exactly like a person in front of you saying that and when we do get like a

critical comment from someone it's this evolutionary thing inside of us that like kicks up you know puts us into the fight of like thinking again if you don't act right you'll be kicked out of the tribe. Imagine that with 10 people, that's scary. Imagine that with 100, well that's life threatening. Now imagine it with like literally a million people. No wonder these guys are like literally taking naked pictures of themselves so like hopefully they get some later.

So I don't want to do, yeah. I would love to know the motivation behind that bit that photo. So fucking interesting. But you are right, like, people remember the insults and forget the blessings. That negativity bias is a hell of a drug, and it's everywhere.

But I don't know, Les would not be swayed by that. Les would be completely fine. And he would just get stuck in what he's got to do next. All right, so give me give me your thoughts on red pill YouTube Yeah It's mixed because I fair amount of people and somewhat including myself have found some value in them And it's there is absolutely value and having like all the men give you wisdom and you know

They'll record videos and they'll say for example like don't pet his soul eyes women. They're just normal people everything the issue is that Those type of videos don't really do well on, they're just normal people, everything. The issue is that those type of videos don't really do well on YouTube. What does better is like, okay, we hate women now and treat them like garbage and his house like fuck them and like, you know, throw them out, everything is like, how to do like degenerate type of stuff. And the issue now is, the internet's very, very nuanced.

And so any kind of like red pill YouTuber that you're gonna come across is usually on this side of quite like quite a degenerate, hateful hostile personality. And I've certainly like I'm not even exempt from this. I've certainly branched into this multiple times. The issue is that what does best for views and for likes and for growth on YouTube, which isn't admirable, you know, it's a business at the end of the day is how people make it live in. That isn't what is best for a young man's mind. So the red pillar YouTubers who are very popular right now are almost entirely just a negative influence in my opinion. They do teach some things. So for example, a young man who's who stumble onto the red pillar YouTubers will,

for example, learn something, which will help him with the next girl he speaks to, but the issue with that is that by emulating the red pill YouTubers that he sees, the only girls that he can attract are similar to the girls that that red pill YouTuber are attracting, and the red pill YouTuber, if he says all women are hos, and then he's teaching you, like here's after the text goes, well, he's telling you how to text hos, so now the young man who's following that advice, any good healthy woman is not going to be attracted to the way he'd like text for it in this example. Only the hose are going to be attracted to it. So it becomes this self-fulfilling prophecy and like people said this to me multiple times, as I was going through my red pill journey,

myself, I couldn't really understand it, you're out there, the blue pillars, we can't trust them and everything. Up until you really do like to go huge step back and you realize like, you've just pigeonholed yourself to attract the women that you actually do hate. Dude, I mean, think about, here's a good example, think about the girls that fresh and fit invite round. Like, they purposefully go out of their way to find the thottiest, most ratchet, degenerate girls that they can from the streets of Miami,

and they invite them round, and they have some drinks, and then they use it as their opportunity to outwit the only other people in Miami that they can, who are these nightclub girls, and then use that to, like, their intellect stands on the shoulders of girls that are five to heal as deep. And I'm fucking Adamin. I'm fucking Adamin. The fact that fresh from fresh and fit is seen as an alpha male by some corners of the internet. I'm fucking certain that that is one

of the forehorses of the apocalypse. Like, that is the biggest forget COVID, forget Trump, forget January 6th. The fact that that man who's seen as an alpha is the worst comment on culture in the modern era that I could give. Which one is fresh? He's the one that always sounds like he's got food in his mouth. Oh my god. Climbing in his mouth. Climbing the needle. Climbing the needle. Climbing the needle.

Climbing the needle. Climbing the needle. Climbing the needle. Climbing the needle. Climbing the needle. Climbing the needle. Climbing the needle. Climbing the needle.

Climbing the needle. Climbing the needle. Climbing the needle. Climbing the needle. Climbing the needle. Climbing the needle. Climbing the needle. Climbing the needle. Climbing the needle. Climbing the needle. Climbing the needle. Climbing the needle. She's this sort of a girl, she meets them at this boat party, then everybody finds that she's got this TikTok account

where she says the only type of guys that she likes and then just switches to a photo of a bucket load of cash. She's got a channel on seeking arrangements and it's like luxury lifestyle, fitness lifestyle, exclusive parties and it turns out that that's how we met her. She's got this weird story about how he was at a party in Miami with this basket baller, and then this basket baller said, oh, I fucked that girl as well on your Instagram, hey,

why don't you come back to my, well, where's the good parties tonight? And then fresh ends up taking him around and ends up having like sex with five girls in one night or something, you're like, dude, this is like Jay from the Inbetweeners. This legitimately sounds like, so I went over there and I was fucking with my toe and he think, oh my God, what the fuck is wrong with these people? Yeah, I'm not gonna lie, man. My first perception of them,

I saw a lot of like click-bassy content and it's just girls asking them thumbnail and everything. And it is definitely entertaining to watch because it is just like kind of degenerate shit that you know, like, I don't want the daughter to open them and I'm like, don't want them to walk in. I'd rather just switch porn on it. But this just, the issue is, right, with stuff like that. Again, it's inherently just negative media. There's some people reply and you know, they they say, oh, nobody's really, really helped people. It's like, I don't think it would have,

I think any realizations or insights that you've really got from, at least the show that they do with the girls. It's just kind of like, you need to watch one episode or just read all the social books. It's the exact, oh, like women at night, 70%. It's like, they just reply in the exact same thing, they've just got different girls.

And it's just like like young men are consuming Just as an addiction to like their YouTube like you know content consumption. I will go to say though that They they do shows with like other guys. So they've done shows with like brawler to marsie jay waller and and Sterling Cooper and those ones like it's so different like I wish they did more because they're actually given some like great wisdom It was a totally different vibe where they're more because they're actually given some great wisdom and it was a totally different vibe where they're thinking of the young man and they're thinking, okay, guys, you should focus on your credit score and everything. That's some good advice right there.

But the issue is that doesn't sell. Those ones will get a lot less views. Just the dishonest man. The dishonest thumbnail, that's what we want to see. We kick these holes out. That's what everybody wants. It's a drama channel. Someone said, what was it?

It's Jerry Springer for the TikTok generation. That's what someone fucking commented about it. Here's the thing, and I'll be interested to know if you're the same. When I first started watching Fresh and Fit, Kevin Samuels, there's a part of me that I noticed that gets satisfied by watching that. Like, yeah, yeah, you fucking, you take those thoughts down,

you take those bitches down, I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, where are you coming from? Like what part of me is it that takes satisfaction from watching guys that are prepped, shit on girls that have just come to come and sit in a podcast studio. So the beta part. Like the part of you that still remembers

getting rejected from girls and everything. It's like this is like us indulging in that thing of it. We couldn't get paid in some venues. Yeah, that's it. Because to imagine to how many guys that is so attractive to because how many guys, okay, that's a part of us right now if we're doing okay with the girls. It's like a part of us still remembers and like you know it's hateful for the fact that we got rejected

by this one girl or by hundreds of girls. Imagine how many guys are like literally not attracting any women whatsoever. All they have, it's not even a part, that is just them, it's just hateful, resentful. And then they're going to a show where girls get made fun of and you know the girl says something but he's like, no, but here's the fact, like here you didn't, you didn't research like we did, like that guy's gonna feel like, no, but here's the fact, you didn't research like we did. That guy's gonna feel like some kind of fulfillment from that, yes, like finally they're getting put in their place.

It is so attractive to the huge proportion of guys who've been hurt by women. Yeah, it is, and it feels like vindication, and it feels like catharsis as well. You have these guys there that, and I think that's one of the reasons why you get a particular type of very loyal following for them, which is, they almost feel like they're the best of us.

You know, they're the tip of the spear that's delivering the words to the girls that righteously should have been shit on long ago. You know, if I went back and told that girl that snub me in the nightclub four years ago that I still remember because I haven't done any self-work on meditation or being to see a fucking therapist, which I definitely need, that's them saying to all of the girls that have ever rejected you, what you always wanted to say. Hmm. So it feels nice that I can emphasize with the hundreds of thousands of young men who are actually watching this with a sense of enjoyment because they don't get to ever say this stuff. The thing is like be bitter, be better, and this is what they're choosing right now. There's no growth coming from this, but it

is that sense of instant gratification, of pleasure of just thinking like, oh yeah, like at least a part of you feels like, you know, like fulfilled when you get a sense of like revenge against the person who hurt you. Yeah. Well, one of the things as well, I think you talk about this is that a lot of the, the content that I don't like that comes out of the Manusphere Red Pill YouTube space is the stuff that is predicated

on shitting on women rather than raising up men. That, that puts me in the least positive some mindset. It puts me in the least grateful place. It makes me feel anxious. It makes me feel on edge. It makes me feel it's like the difference between it's like that's my dopamine system as opposed to my serotonin system. I don't feel good. I don't feel nice. I don't feel connected. I feel agitated and anxious and I get pleasure, but I get pleasure with this sort of it's like it's like watching some like fucked up porn and then afterwards feeling a little bit Disgusted itself for what you've just watched and yeah, it's not that when I watch that stuff It's not my highest like my highest self isn't coming through. That's not a donus or les that's

That's Jeffrey. That's Jeffrey, it really is, man. It's the problem with the internet, the new ones. I could use this explanation about everything we talk about with the internet, is turning into such a negative place because that's what sells, that's what we're clicking on. Seeing a girl get kicked out of the studio is a lot more attractive than seeing the same guys talk about, like, oh, here's his 531. How do we create your credit score? Yeah, because this is more valuable. of the studio is a lot more attractive than like seeing the same guys talk about like, oh, here's his five, three, one, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two,

yeah. Because like, you know, this is, this is more valuable. But the thing is, oh, we're even looking for value anymore. We're just looking for like cheap entertainment. And so this is the one that sells on the issue with this is like, there is a certain value with this, but it's a negative influence on your personality. And at least for me, when I was fully consumed by this type of content even before Fresh and Fit came out. It's my personal, I was fucking trash. Like I know a lot of guys are like, you know, I was like, I saw girls as like the enemy to conquer.

And so it's the pick-up artist age our lot of guys go through. And I never saw them as like a person to, like this, this sounds blue pill. Just to see how deep I've went into it, where like I've got to even catch my, am I blue pill? No, like is he trying to convert me to blue pillism? It wasn't. But I used to see girls as like,

not someone to like sort of build things, like as on the same team. They were almost the enemy, even if we were doing good together, it was always like wary of them, or whatever. Yeah, like I always like wary of them. Adversarial. Yeah. Like I always thought I'd conquer them in a very negative way.

Whereas recently, I've taken a big step back from that therapy, as you said, meditation, journaling, reading books on data, reading books on attachment styles. And I think the childhood stuff is very, very important here. And I realized now, I was like, I love being around women. I I've made video, clickbait videos and again, it's that negative like thing sells. I made videos saying like I hate women and stuff, but it's to get the click and that I say, you know, different things on it. But it's like, I've actually started to love being around women and love having that feminine energy around me. And it's like the moment

that you kind of like level things up with a feels it's such like a beautiful experience that I was always ignorant to because I was entirely focused on the number close and the lay close. And when you're doing it, it's like a mathematician and you're thinking, OK, I've got a 3% success rate. So I've just got to go up to 100 girls. It's like, you're literally seeing them more as a number than you are a human being who could be a compliment to your life.

But dude, the red pill pickup, at least pickup, was started by Asperger, you can autistic guys that had no idea how to communicate to women. So the fact that there's a lot of sexual market value, peaks, graphs, fucking pictograms, and scores out of 10, it doesn't surprise me because that's what a lot of the people

that began this movement thinking. You know, there were programmers, coders, nerds that couldn't get women, and there's this zero-s some mentality in the manusphere? I was listening to the mating grounds podcast. Have you heard of this? Okay, so Tucker Maxx, who was the, used to be the CEO of Scrib Media,

created the Frattaya genre, wrote, I hope they serve Beer in Hell, like basically fucked girls and threw up in bathrooms for a decade and then wrote about it and created New York Times best sellers. Did a ton of psychotherapy and psychedelics and now has flipped the other way with Jeffrey Miller who wrote The Mating Mind.

He's one of the like premier evolutionary psychologists that focuses on mating dynamics and they did a podcast and it stopped eight years ago. So it is one of the best podcasts that you can go back and listen to. It's called Mating Grounds. It's so fucking dope. A guy that's field-tested and a guy that's got the academic chops to go with it, talking about the fundamentals of male, female attraction dating dynamics. But they say they're talking about pickup, but you see, and this is the fascinating thing. It's like eight years old, right?

This episode that I listened to this morning. And it's the same fucking dynamics. It's not Neil Strauss and Mystery and pickup and real social dynamics anymore. It's now fresh and fit and Kevin Samuels and Roller Tomassi and Red Pill and Manusphere and Alpha and Beta and Black Pill and Blue. Like, that's the language. The language has changed, but the dynamics are exactly the same. And they're saying the entire Pick-Up Artist community sees any woman's gain as a man's

loss and any man's gain as a woman's loss. So they see a very adversarial relationship. They go into a club and they talk about pick-up. Like you pick something up. It's an action that you do They talk about game and banging and it's all of these terms that if you break them down It's all to do with a very aggressive zero some mentality But they're saying that if you better woman, it's almost her loss

That's the mentality that pick up went into it with and I think that you still see that now It's this adversarial relationship as opposed to a positive some mentality That's the mentality that pickup went into it with and I think that you still see that now. It's this adversarial relationship as opposed to a positive some mentality. I'm like, fuck man, I don't want to be a part of that at all. That's interesting. Do you feel like they might have a hidden sense of self-awareness that they see? Okay, if the woman's losing out when she's having sex with them, it's almost because they're

aware of the fact that they aren't like good men. Yep, I think so. And I think as well that when you obsess so much over the dynamics, it takes you out of the moment. Now, you can have, you can critique women that go on all nightstand, one nightstand's all you want, but you still want a one nightstand's all you want, but you still want a one night stand as a young guy. So you're asking women to adhere to standards

that you're not encouraging to adhere to in your real life? Hang on, that's something fucking going on there. You can't point a finger at women and say, you're a slut if you have a one night stand, then go out and use all of the tricks that you found from neuro-linguistic programming to pick up, to negate to all of that shit, to then get them into bed, and then feel disgusted at the woman for having done it. It's like, fuck me. There is no positivity in that situation.

Every single step of the way is negative. And I think that there probably are some norms that we need to re-address around casual sex. I think that people probably do give away their bodies too quickly, and I think that recreating a sense of sacredness around putting yourself inside of someone else's body is probably a pretty good thing to do. I think that would be generally good for society, but you still need to see how fucking negative and degenerate most of this stuff is.

100% agreed. And that, honestly, that was me. That was, I was the judgmental guy. Women shouldn't be having casual sex, but it was what I wanted. And so now I'm mocked, that sort of personality type using the Jeffrey characters in women or all sluts, but why won't they be my sluts?

It's like, they don't actually hate women for being sluts. These aren't like philosophical men who understand the detriment of a society that engages in casual sex. These are just guys who have pissed off that they're not the ones women are having sex with. They're not, they don't, like it's easier for them to say, oh yeah, you know, because women shouldn't have sex because it's bad for them, it's bad for society. It's easier for them to say that than it is to say like, yeah, they shouldn't, you know, they hopefully could just have sex with me, but they don't want to. So they shouldn't be having casual sex. But you're absolutely right. And I think that's something literally is one of the biggest things in my mind right now. It's like the sacredness of sex and how to like reduce casual sex. I'll be completely

honest. Like, I'm actually struggling with that. If there's a woman I'm attracted to and she seems to be back into me, there's been so many times where you don't recently, I've been thinking, okay, normal casual sex, I'm into like either relationships and loving everything, but I'm in bed just as fast as like that, it's like, I can't tell if it's like an addiction or something, but I find it so hard to restrain myself from engaging in that. Well, remember that you talk, you've got two systems that are running here man like the one that says I want to put my penis inside of that girl is a lot more subconscious and a lot more ancient than this one that says remember Adonis I need to focus in the morning I need to make sure that I go and do my meditation you know that that push and pull if it wasn't the case

that we were subject to our subconscious, we would never do anything that we didn't want to do. But all the time we do stuff that we don't want to do, we press the snooze button, even though we committed to ourselves that we weren't going to press the snooze button, we don't meditate, we forget to ring our mom, we do whatever it might be, like all of these things are because there is something else going on, and sex is one of, you know, on the bottom of Mazda's hierarchy of needs, It is one of the fundamental elements. It's like saying, I told myself I was going to fast for a week,

but I broke after two days. Like, that must be because I'm a bad person, because I can't do the fast thing. It's like, no, your biology is very, very geared towards you not starving. In the same way as your biology is geared towards you, if you have the opportunity to have attachment-free sex to do that. But again, over time, you know, this is how long have you been in this sort of mode? Six months, maybe one year? Yeah, about six months.

Yeah. And how long had you spent idolizing women? Probably ten years? Yeah. So, you know, say you'll give yourself your advice from early run. Yeah, that's actually, I'm going to have very much appreciate you just saying that, actually, just hit me with my own advice because it is hard, man, I know that the dangers of casual sex and I openly speak against them on my channel because for a while, I branched away from it in the sense, okay, women shouldn't have, I was in one of those gay women shouldn't have casual sex, but you know, for men, but men are different and high value men can do it, but they just shut it up, bro. But now I realize like after speaking to another YouTuber, Elliot Holtz, and speaking about fatherlessness, it's caused by both men and women engaged

in casual sex, that it's the issue. It's like, there is just a complete detriment to society when either one of us engages in that activity because it just leaves a generation of fatherless boys and those fatherless boys are more likely to continue the same thing and it's the hard times great strong men paradigm that's happening. As your camera just gone, that's alright. Did you hear that? Yeah. So again, this Jeffrey Miller thing I was listening to earlier on, I would add one book

in that I'm only halfway through It's called Mate and it's by Jeffrey Miller and Tucker Maxx and it's an evolutionary psychologist and a guy that's partied for a decade Become the man women want and it's just it's like it's a bit of a cringe title But I guess it gets across what it is. I think it would be a really interesting read for girls as well to go through I think models by Mark Manson as well is really interesting for girls to see their own need, that neediness dynamic. Basically, Mark says that one of the fundamental dynamics that goes on between men and women

is a level of neediness, and that neediness from a man is fundamentally unattractive. And basically, that's what you need to avoid at all costs. One of the best ways to not be needy is to have a life that doesn't need anybody else in to make it fulfilled. You are enough and then somebody joins and you make a life that is better together for both of you as opposed to you are not enough, you're insufficient

and a girl comes in and fills the void because then you're constantly going to be pining after that girl. And also it's a weak position to negotiate from. But so in this, this is fucking eight years ago, man, right? Jeffrey Miller, who wrote the mating mind, which is like one of the foundations for pretty much everything else that grew out of it, Jeff Miller says that only 10% of the pickup and mannisfield world understands his work. He reckons that more than 50% of his sales were to the mannisfield,

and even though they idolize Jeffrey, almost none of them understand his work, the entire point was to understand what women want, but no one focuses on it. So what is the summary that you've got from that work so far? It's a list of five different things, and in there is tell the truth. Like one of the things is to constantly tell the truth

to build up self-esteem in yourself. Another one is to not work with bias but to work with rationality. I wonder what I would be interested to find out where the rational male came from. I wonder whether that was an influence on on Rolo and what he did, but it's not got this sort of very negy, very distasteful degenerate sort of zero of some mentality at all. You sent me this video of the future is polyamorous. Would you reckon about the future relationships? Can you see that happening?

Yeah, 100%. I watched that video and I see a really open up my eyes after I watch your podcast with Vincent Haram. Vincent. Haram, yeah. So you guys are discussing the sexual market place and how it's going to just get more and more cutthroat. So I made like a one hour video in response

where I was just kind of like, just, you know, gorgeous day and ideas and just seeing what would happen. And we're entering some dark times for this young man. The fact that I think near the end of your podcast, you were really like started taking the back thinking of like the seriousness of this problem. Like I don't think we, you know, we're just kind of chatting. And I want you to get girls and everything, but this is like,

this is maybe, civilization endings. Yeah. This quite literally is like a 10 out of 10, like disaster, just waiting to, like, it's happening right now and everyone's not really taking it serious because it's just, oh, you know, like, I just want to get laid, but it's a huge, huge problem. And the idea is, okay, what is going to happen in the future of dating? Well, relationships amongst young people and even sex is like, it's just going out of place. No one's really getting into like a monogamous committed long-term

relationship. The people who are getting into monogamous relationships are often finding their relationships and six or 12 months later and they're ending like infidelity and everything. And the idea is that women just keep, you know, with high-pig of misnature, they just keep wanting better and better and better, better, better men. And because the top men that all the women want are ruthlessly competitive, it's like, this section of men, let's say the top 10%

is becoming ever harder to get into, let's say, 50 years ago, it was like, he didn't stink any other car. And all the girls who are uprooted. And now it's say, 50 years ago, it was like he didn't stink any out of car and all the girls who are after it. But now it's like, you need everything. You need like, you need six packs, you've been training for six years in the gym, you need like, you're the mental, like confidence and the degree postgraduate graduate degree, you need everything these days as a man to like be in this top 10% and so it's just going to get more and more ruthless. Women want the men in here. The thing is, the men in here don't just want one woman. If you're the guy who's essentially beaten 90-something percent of other guys in terms of characteristics, chances are like a lot of guys do say, like you know, or no, just like a just one woman woman.

If you had the ability to attract more than one woman, I think the overwhelming majority guys would actually accept that proposal and be with two women instead in a date in market. I think we're going to see this more and more. I think Alexander Grace, the YouTuber who made that video of polygamy be normal, he had this fantastic point where he said that he thinks that menist structure is going to push this narrative not men because it's going to be this new age fight for more rights in the sense. Where like women would rather be, it's for all of the massacres quote, women would rather share an alpha

than be saddled with a fitful beta. If that's the case, if the next frontier for feminism is opening up polyamorous relationships, it's polygamous relationships technically. If that's the next frontier for them, I don't think that the future looks very good for civilization. Because that is, if that's a cause that women start to campaign for, that's the sort of thing that men are going to riot and kill about. And there's such a cool study. I had never had you ever seen that graph before. The one where he's, what was that guy's name? The YouTube Alexander Greece. Yeah, well, Alexander had found a graph that showed the relative number of men versus the relative

number of women that were giving birth to children. Presumably, this must be genetic data somehow. And you can see that from about 50,000 years ago until 10,000 years ago, it's relatively equal. Like women are a little bit higher because on average, women are more successful at having children in the manner. Women are a little bit higher, men are a little bit lower, but kind of tracking similarly. And then 10,000 years ago, the men just drop off a cliff, go to basically zero. It looks like who, which men are having children here. There's not, there's no one. And his argument was that during the agricultural revolution,

what you had was the ability for men to accrue status and resources, which afforded them the ability to have huge harms of women that they could keep safe. But then what they realized was that it was an incredibly unstable society for men to be in. And I had an evolutionary biologist on the show Joe Henrik the other day. And he said that a lot of South Pacific islands and uncontacted tribes and stuff that have been studied, some of them have a what's called a, it's like a gentriatric, I think, or a ger-geraficic or something, which is the old people of the ones

that are in charge, and men have to go through a number of rituals before they can marry, and often it keeps them until their 30s before they can do this, go do this, go do this, go do this, go do this. But what that leaves you with is a ton of available women that are captured by a bunch of old men and then a shitton of young men that are coming up that think, I've got to do my next ritual in three years time, I can't get a woman at the moment because they've all been captured by these guys and these stupid rituals and this ideology that we've got.

Fuck it, let's revolt. And it's just an inherently unstable society. So that's the thing. nobody wants that. Nobody wants that society when they actually look at it. Nobody wants the unstable sexless underclass of man roaming the streets shit. Like that's bad for absolutely everybody. And I don't know, I don't know if I don't know if polygene is as realistic as Alexander makes out, because modern notions of romanticism have skewed what women expect a lot, and I think that it's not sufficient for women in a relationship to simply get their fair share of resources. They actually want to feel emotional connection and time with their partner.

And if you end up having one man to three women or one man to four women, is one quarter of that man's attention going to be enough for you? I'm not sure. There's so many things to break down there, but the last point that you made in terms of the media influencing is because that's huge. The media very, very heavily influences our day in and our sexual lives. And it was a realization that I had, let's say 50 years ago, Disney was a huge thing that pushed forward like the blue pill ideology and like the one artist belief, you know,

like they got happily married, like, happily ever after. What's very interesting is like that media is very, very different. I don't consume much media, but I can almost envision new age sitcoms and reality TV shows where it's the modern stuff of the day. You're seeing it in the show. You're going to see this one girl who had a drunken hook-up with this guy who did a text-up back. She wants this guy, but this guy's got this other the guy and maybe she'll go on a date and you

know, they had to three something together or something. You begin to see it because media influences us, but we also influence like the media and of course, some random show that shows these dynamics is going to be quite relatable amongst a certain audience. So we are going to see like the, I don't watch it personally, but like I know for a fact there's going to be some TV shows that I do really well right now, which will have quite a prominent character being a part of this like modern new age dating. Well, dude, think about what Love Island does. Love Island turns, I'm fucking a part of this

problem, right? I understand that it's the hot calling the cattle black. They turn dating into a game. Like it is a game show first and foremost. After everything, after you've been through six weeks, there's been vote offs, there's been surprise additions, there's been casserole, more people have come in, you've been worried about losing this partner, it's been this really intense experience, you've been, you've got a wicked tan and at the very end, you've won, here's some celebrations, oh wait, now you get to play, would I lie to you or dealer, no, a golden balls, you get to do split or steal, and I've always been really interested about why that was there, and I asked the

guys on my season, like what was going on with that, but what it tells us, like it's the final thing that you see on the entire season, you watch the whole season, it's the fucking parentheses or it's the period at the end, right? The full stop is, will you split or steal this 50,000, which is a point that's exercise now because the money that you make off the back of it, if you've made it to the end and you've won, is so much more. And if you were to steal the amount of money that you would make from your boo-hoo sponsorship would go through the floor because you wouldn't have as much brand equity anymore because you'd be the dick that stole 25 grand.

It just reminds everyone that it's a game. That's what it does. It's a show that is called Love Island that is ostensibly supposed to be about love. And at the end of it, it reminds everyone that actually it wasn't so much about the relationship there was this game show element to it as well. That doesn't seem like a tremendously effective romantic way to teach young people about caring about their relationship. Everyone's swapping beds twice a week. New guys come in Oh, I like it. I know I'm with him, but I like him I know I'm with her, but I'm gonna like what's what does roller call it branch swinging?

Yeah, I'm gonna branch swing across this or I'll dip my toe in and see whatever's going on Fuck man That's what we're trusting that show called the violin is heartless That's so interesting. A show called Love Island is heartless. That's like the modern dating that we're literally surrounding ourselves. And of course, this is like to an extreme level and it's for the audience, the viewership and everything, but honestly, they're not that far off normal dating lives anyway. A lot of it is recreating what people in, like let's say the young party, casual sex scene are experiencing.

Because otherwise, honestly, like if you're someone who's been like a bit of a fuckboy, you go to clubs and everything, like you know that dynamic. That's why it's so relatable and so fun to watch because the questions that you're asking people is like the questions that I'm asking some girl that I just met yesterday. And then it's like, oh, there's another guy

who's gonna mug me off of the girl and everything. Like, it's so realistic, but just, when you really think about the fact that it's like, oh, there's another guy who's gonna mug me off of the girl and everything. Like, it's so realistic, but just when you really think about the fact that it's literally just like, all over the place. Like, this is modern dating is just kind of like the fast food version of the healthy version that we may have gotten to experience like a hundred years ago. Fuck, I don't know.

But I also don't understand, like I agree. I think the one-eyedest thing, disempowers people from bad relationships. You know, this is the part of Rolars' work that I think he really nailed, which is this myth of the one. There is not one person out there for you. There are a number of people that are, uh, very appropriately appropriate, and the goal is to find somebody that is as close to appropriate as possible.

Now that's not to say that you can't feel incredibly special and like you have a team in a community and this is what you're going to do. And especially once you have kids, they're like, okay, like this is, we're together through thick and thin here. You know, I don't want my kids to grow up in a single parent household. And I'm going to do everything I can to make sure that that doesn't happen. I don't know how you blend love island transient transactional relationships with the myth of one itis, with progression for women and men to not have rights removed from them and norms removed from them that restrict their premarital sex, with the challenges in

women raising up through the dominance hierarchy and they're being fewer men hypergumously that are attracted to them. I'm like, all of this blended together just to me, do you know what it is, man? It feels like fucking don't look up, which is a new Netflix show about an asteroid that's coming toward Earth. And these couple of researchers are screaming at the president of the United States and saying, this is going to come and this is going to kill us. We need to do something about it right now and nobody

listens. And they say, well, you say it's 99.9. Let's call it 70. We'll get a press release out there like, no, no, no, don't call it fucking 70. This is a big deal. This is a planet killer. And then it ends up being everybody gets destroyed. So I've tried to write my mind around the potential solution to all this and I can't think of any good answers whatsoever. And the only one that comes to mind is things keep going the way that they are. And instead of the bottom 80% of sexless intimacy, loved deprived men revolting, they all just get consumed by the metaverse, and that's their new reality,

and they find a sense of love and, I'm being deadly serious, I think that's actually the most realistic scenarios a few years from now, we have like ultra realistic, sort of like virtual reality, and guys are just trading an hour of cuddling for like 0.1 Ethereum, and that'll do them. You'll see this in your YouTube comments.

I've definitely seen it in some of the red pillar videos that I've done where guys will say the more meagotawi black pill guys will say, don't need to bother with women, just wait for the sex robots and by cars in the meantime. And I'm thinking, well, I mean, it's a solution. It's not, I wouldn't say it's an optimal solution, it's not the one that I'm thinking, well, I mean, it's a solution. It's not, I wouldn't say it's an optimal solution. It's not the one that I would choose.

But I understand the compulsion of a guy who feels like he can't get physical intimacy or find a woman or a wife that cares about him. I understand why that would be attractive. And maybe you're right. Maybe the best, the second best option, if a revolt is the worst option, maybe the second best option is sedation. If you sedate the populace with enough metaphors and virtual reality and convenience to the point where people genuinely, men genuinely don't care about meaning anymore, but even that man, like, I can't imagine

me being that guy. I don't, that's not the sort of life that I want. And again, I understand that not everybody has the same life experiences, but fuck that. Like, did you really want to grow up for this to be the pinnacle of your life? To be honest, I feel like this sedation has already has been happening for many, many years, video games, porn, social media. I think the majority of guys are so consumed in this technology that they wouldn't ever revolt. And life is like good enough for the majority of guys. The things that they miss from real life, like a sense of brotherhood, status and recognition,

they're getting in games like Call of Duty. The things that they miss in the day in a sexual market because they're not part of the 20% of guys who are allowed to get that stuff. They get from TV shows and porn and just fantasies and sending dick pics on Instagram. So although it doesn't exist, essentially, I fulfilled the exact need. The thing is the businesses that sedate a person and make them feel like somewhat like they've ticked off those bottom pillars of Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Those industries are like billions, like hundreds of billions, because that's where billions of men are going to.

And to be honest, you were saying like you couldn't imagine a life like this, that made me realize, okay, usually if I do see those men, those comments of like the men say in men going their own way and black pill, you know, usually I'm instantly like, okay, loser, like I don't know why you're doing that, just, you know, focus on self-improving everything. But lately, I, because of your podcast, I've been thinking more about this and I've been thinking, are men like you and I live in our life through the lens of someone who isn't genetic, this sounds horrible, like genetically, sort of subpar. And that's what I was saying things like, oh, you know, I wouldn't want to live that life, but it's like, we're tall, attractive guys. We've got like these good features and everything.

We couldn't imagine a life like that, but what about for the guy? We couldn't imagine life like that, even if you know, things were worse off, because we'd be, okay, you know, let's still get the six pack at the money and everything. But what about the guy who's like literally five foot seven unattractive face? You know what's weird?

Did you watch, again, you don't use a massive amount of social media, but Molly May, who won Love Island a couple of years ago, she trended on Twitter this week because she made some pretty tone-deaf comments about how people that are poor just need to work harder and they can do whatever they want and someone mentioned that she works for pretty little thing

and gets 600,000 pounds a year, but pretty little thing pay their workers three pounds 50. So it's very difficult, it doesn't matter how hard I work, I'm stuck in a poverty trap. And it kind of feels maybe a little bit like that, that there is a degree of blindness to people for whom there is a ceiling on it, on their capacity for growth, personal agency, sovereignty. So the Black pill in cell forums, on average, it's 30% of people to 50% of people have some sort of autism spectrum disorder. So the asperger, the autistic, or

they might be disabled physically. And you think, when you learn that start, you're like, me telling you that you need to go read atomic habits by James Clear just doesn't cut the mustard but I mean frankly, I don't think that me or you are speaking to them like that's not my audio bro like I feel for you You know there is a channel of interesting content for you here, but genuinely I feel like your Situation requires more specialist assistance than I can give it This is for the this is written for the me and you ten years ago, right? That's what the content is created, therefore. And to pick out anything that you say is a generalization and to pick out that.

One example that doesn't fit the generalization you like, okay, cool. But I can't make a one size fits-fits-fucking-everybody solution here We're just trying to give across the best tactics that we found that work for us that will hopefully apply to the widest group of guys and girls 30 to 50% man It's interesting what you said like our our content is not really calling out to them. For me, the reason why I do try to help these guys and I make videos for the guys who are going to total losers and everything is because I've been there and honestly, I could have been an insult at this point.

And it's so interesting, okay, everyone would be completely no hamps of your 6 foot 1, you've got the jawline, your genetics, like facing everything. But I could have been, and like, honestly, I wasn't that far off at that point to be black-pilled in everything. If I stumbled down onto like the black pill subreddit, if there was one at the time, you know, if I started engaging in that type of content,

it probably would have been one of these guys saying, like, no, it's over for me because I'm brown skin and everything. In fact, that was like one of the beliefs, I genuinely thought I was like ugly because I was brown skin and no girls wanted me. And then it just something just hit me. I think I side weight lifting at first and you know, you envision the body.

I just thought, wait, hang on. If I've got like a 10 out of 10 body, I'm still brown, but I'm still going to be attractive. There's definitely brown guys who are getting girls right now. So it isn't the fact that I'm brown that I'm not getting this success that I want. But I don't think we're relatable, like at all, to a large chunk of men. And I think a big part of that was obviously the characteristics. They say, you know, negative canvol till they've got some good terms. What is that? Hunter eyes and prey eyes. So you've got Hunter eyes is like we we're Riser like, Almond shaped,

and they're quite close to your eye. This is obviously like quite close to your eyebrows, and it makes you look like Hunter in the sense of like, you know, wolf has like those eyes. And then prey eyes are like circle, like I got prey eyes, which are like, this is what they always say they make videos about me, is that like, I have just got prey eyes and stuff,

it's like they say like, he's got a good jawline, he's six foot one, he's attractive and everything, but it's eye region, let's him down, like they've been fully like, he's got a good jawline, he's six foot one, he's attractive and everything, but it's eye region, let's him, that like, they've been fully like, it's just going to do it. That's what I like. So I'm wearing glasses and stuff, no.

There's like prey eyes and more like circular eyes, like you know, like rabbit eyes, so you can see more of a scope around you. But you know what's a very interesting, there is an open-coming black pill YouTuber called Beatwaffles and he was like, like treading the path for the Blackpill content just a few months ago. I got him onto a podcast and we argue a lot

and everything with disagreeing with each other and it was like a very, very bad sort of episode and everything. But then we speak more and more, we literally become friends. And then for the second episode, a lot of people realize he's kind of changed his mindset on the offer and other things. It's just out of nowhere. Obviously, he was arguing things like, no, Hamza, what your teaching is like a scam and getting fit, getting the muscular body doesn't work and everything. That was on the first episode. On the second one, he just randomly says, yeah, like the most important thing you can do is build the muscular body. I was like, wait, that's like that's red pill this book. And he went like,

he's changed his mind and he, he, this is, these guys are like, you know, like you said, very math, like they're into math and data and all this. So he's done like a face analysis of 1,000 people quantified it, got the graphs and everything. Like this autistic level stuff, the highest thing, like the best thing that a man can do to improve how attractive he is to a woman. And he quantified so many different things. It's loose fat, build muscle.

Everything else was way less than that surgery and height and all this stuff. But loose fat, build muscle. He said that pretty much every guy should at least try to do this, at least try to build that body first and then find out if you like should be black-pilled. And even though that advice is a bit like, I kind of agree, there's sort of insane to a lot of guys before you take the black pill, before you want to be an in-sell. Try to build the ten out of ten body.

Do five three, five three, three, three, three, two, one. Five three, two, one. Five three, two, one. Five three, two, one. Five three, two, one. do 5 3 months, 5 3 months, 5 3 months, 5 3 months, 5 3 months, 5 3 months, 5 3 months, at least build the 6 out of 10 body and then just see how you feel after that. If after that you say, okay, still no attraction for women whatsoever, I'll cry with you, but I can't imagine there's a guy who's got the full aesthetic body and the low body fat percentage that comes with it who still says that he completely struggles with women

and that it hasn't gotten better at all. And even if there's a small majority of men who say that hasn't got better at all, I guarantee those guys would still not stop lifting because it's just become like a part of the identity and they really support this thing. Yeah, so you talk about, we've mentioned on the channel before about how on Tinder there is the bottom 80% of men competing for the bottom 20% of women, top 80% of women competing for the top 20% of men. The inference from that is if you're not physically in the top, if you're not an 8 out of 10 relative or above as a guy, then you are by definition in the bottom part. Now, one of the things that I think guys, especially young guys that are listening, need to know, is that on average, your competition for guys that are developing themselves is so piss-poor that you don't actually need to be

in the 80th percentile of anything. You only need to be slightly better than the massive amount of guys that are not doing anything at all. This is like about guys that are going to the gym. of guys that are not doing anything at all. This is like about guys that are going to the gym. If you go to the gym three times a week, you're in probably the top 1% or 5% of fit people on the planet. And especially in a Western country like America or the UK, I think on average, everybody's overweight in both countries. Like, 70%. Yeah, on average, you're obese. The bar is set so fucking low for you to be a guy that goes to the gym that listens to some charisma on command stuff that takes a little bit from a podcast.

You don't need to spend a ton of money. You don't need to, what, you don't even need to work that fucking hard. Like you do not need to work that hard. The bar is set so low for charisma, for confidence, for looks, for everything, because it's not about becoming an eight out of 10 compared to the people on Instagram. It's like that story about if you're in a wood

and you worried about being chased down by a bear. You don't need to be faster than the bear. You just need to be faster than the fucking guy next to you. Honestly, I loved it thinking. Like like I made one of my favorite random videos that I made was just titled your competition and I was trying to tell the boys you've got to stop thinking that you need to be like up here like a lot of guys will you know the defeatist mindset but like you know I'm not gonna go make 200k here and like 6 foot 7 and like all this like you don't need to be that good of course like it helps but that would be

nice. The thing is your competition right now, for the average guy who's watching this, who jacks off five times a week and he plays video games for like one hour a day, but it's more like four. The thing is, if you do a push up today, you have literally beaten 500 million men.

How can not blow your mind and that if you go and do like a good structured program, you're being pretty much every single guy apart from like the five guys at your gym who are actually on a program themselves. You do that for three years, four years, it was also like working on your career or business and you've also like fantastic three. So not only that, but you put like you're just happy like okay, like even forget about women like you build a body that you're proud of.

If you're like you know you like do pants on respect disease and you feel shredded and everything. And then now you've built some money, so you can actually go and enjoy some experiences. If you forget about women, for any sense of the whole, your life just got an infinitely better just by slightly thinking of your competition of the men around you. And I wish more guys could just realize that you're not in, like you are absolutely somewhat. We're all in competition together, but the thing is you, the way I explain it is like, we're all in competition, but we're in separate races the way I explain it is, we're all in competition, but we're in separate races.

If you're just starting off, you're in the race of Jeffries. And those guys, they're not even running in the wrong direction. They're like, just doing some weird shit, like they're running the wrong race. All you've got to do is beat Jeffries today and then, again, beat all the guys who beat Jeffries today. It's impressive, but we'll load in all the sense of your life. Don't, man.

We made it. Hamza, ladies and gentlemen, people want to check out your channel where should they go? The search hamza on YouTube will be the first. That's a flex, that'll be. It'll be the first one like pop, sir. Boss, have you got your plaque? Have you got your silver plaque? I have a plaque.

I put in the details and everything, they take a while on the delivery, but we're on like 220k. Flying, man. Look, dude, I've really enjoyed speaking to you. I think you can't tell, still. Keep at it. Thank you, good. Thank you, bye, man. Lock, dude. I've really enjoyed speaking to you. I think you can't turn still. Keep at it. Thank you, good. Thank you, probably, man.

Nice job.