Modern Wisdom - #450 - 350k Q&A - Dating Advice, Jordan Peterson & Internal Fears

Episode Date: March 21, 2022

I hit 350k Subscribers on YouTube!! Technically I also hit 300k but we hit 350k before I had time to record anything so here we are. To celebrate, I asked for questions and got more than 1000 across all platforms so here's 90 minutes of me trying to answer as many as possible. There are legitimately some world-class questions here which I wish I'd come up with, including some really tough ones about my goals, fears and motivations, Expect to learn whether I think calling everyone cult members is a clever idea, how a beef-fuelled Jordan Peterson annihilated me at Top Golf, my biggest internal challenges, why I haven't gone vegan, my best advice for incels, whether I believe in NoFap superpowers, why I don't use AirPods to podcast with, my thoughts on pegging and much more... Sponsors: Join the Modern Wisdom Community to connect with me & other listeners - https://modernwisdom.locals.com/ Get 15% discount on the amazing 6 Minute Diary at https://bit.ly/diarywisdom (use code MW15) Get $150 on everything from The Cold Plunge at https://thecoldplunge.com/ (use code MW150) (international shipping enquiries - [e-mail]) Get 83% discount & 3 months free from Surfshark VPN at https://surfshark.deals/MODERNWISDOM (use code MODERNWISDOM) Extra Stuff: Get my free Reading List of 100 books to read before you die → https://chriswillx.com/books/ To support me on Patreon (thank you): https://www.patreon.com/modernwisdom - Get in touch. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chriswillx Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/chriswillx YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/modernwisdompodcast Email: https://chriswillx.com/contact/  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello everybody, welcome back to this show. My guest today is me. I hit 350,000 subscribers on YouTube, which is insane. Technically, I also hit 300,000, but then we hit 350 before I had time to record anything. So here we are. To celebrate, I ask for questions and got more than a thousand responses across all platforms. So this is 90 minutes of me trying to answer as many as possible. There are legitimately some world-class questions in here, which I wish that I'd come up with on one of my episodes, including some really tough ones about my goals, fears, and motivations. I expect to learn whether I think calling everyone cult members is a clever idea

how a beef-fueled Jordan Peterson annihilated me at top golf. My biggest internal challenges. Why I haven't gone vegan, my best advice for in-cells, whether I believe in no fat superpowers, why I don't use air pods to podcast with my thoughts on pegging and much more. Obviously, oh, not obviously at all. I have no words for the way that the growth has been so far in 2022. Thank you to everyone that's been here for a long time, and if you're new, then welcome. I'm not slowing down. The remainder of this year is going to continue with me trying

to find the most interesting people that I can from the dark corners of the internet and the top of the mountains of well-known and fascinating humans. So thank you for the support and thank you for being here to enjoy them along with me. But now please welcome the One's your friends, welcome back, it is a 350,000 subscriber Q&A episode. The 300,000 was missed because we blasted through that, so quickly I didn't have time to do one and now we're at 350. I have no idea what to think about the last month and a bit of attention and growth and stuff. So welcome, if you are new here and if you're a long time listener, thank you for sharing and liking and being a part of the cult for all this time and whatnot. I asked the questions off Instagram and Twitter and locals and YouTube community and there was nearly a thousand so thank you to assistant Ben as well for filtering them all and we've picked some of the best ones and I'm going to try and get around to as many as I can.

Let's get into it. Sam Weatherall, do you believe in semen retention slash no-fap superpowers? No, no. As far as I can see, no-fap is most beneficial to people that are pathological fappers, right? That can't keep the hand off the penis. And if that is you, and you're fapping it, you know, three or four times a day, you are going to have kind of a super power because you've just freed up maybe two hours of your day to do stuff that isn't fapping. Outside of that, the levitation and the women being able to smell the pheromones and stuff, I'm less convinced. Sarah Russo, what advice would you give to a young career-driven woman in her 20s?

give to a young career-driven woman in her 20s. Take no one else's word for it. I would say that you get to define how it is that you're going to live and presuming that what some article, newspaper, cultural movements, friend has done as being like the thing that you have to do is wrong. Just continually reassess, where am I at? Am I doing what I want to do? Is this making me happy? Is this the path that I'm supposed to be on? You won't go far wrong if you do that. And this would be the same for a guy as well.

But yeah, there is a temptation with young career-driven women to have kind of a sunk cost fallacy here that like, this is my identity and I'm going to completely adhere myself to this. Just keep on checking and maybe you will want to stay a career driven woman for the rest of your life and maybe you won. But as long as you're doing the introspection, you'll be able to course correct on route. Isaac Midjangos.

Who would you like to have on next? Can you create a form on your website for us for request guests we'd like to see on the pod? So there already is one and it's chriswillx.com slash contact. So go there and you can send me whoever you want. I always appreciate getting feedback and suggestions from you guys. Sometimes they're fantastic at the times that less fantastic, but sometimes they're really good.

Who I'd like to have on next, what I really want to do with the show after the Jordan Peterson sort of special 4K big production cinematic thing, I'm really keen to try and do maybe two, between two and four of those a year, so find a very big guest and fly out to see them or fly them to see me and create something

that's really visually beautiful. So next on the hit list, I think would be Jocka Willink. I've only half a degree of separation away from him with some mutuals and I think that it's been a little while since we've seen something like really dramatic and beautiful with him. Plus, I love his content and I think that his style of talking really lends itself to that super intense,

cinematic, like very, very beautiful look. So if you know Jocka Willink, tell him to get in touch or I'm gonna continue grinding away, trying to find my way to him. But yeah, that's what I think I'd like to do next. There's a big sort of project. And then maybe across the year, there's between two and four of these special, bigger edition episodes. And that can kind of be the thing.

That can be one of the big growth strategies, but also one of the things that kind of makes the show special and makes it stand out. Because I don't think many of the people are doing that. Max, H. Wilson, what's your fran time? kind of makes the show special and makes it stand out. So I don't think many other people are doing that. Max H. Wilson, what's your fran time? I think it was late seven minutes, like seven or eight minutes.

And I made such a huge meal of that workout. So for those of you that don't know, fran is 21, 15, 9 repetitions of thrusters, 42 kilos, and pull-ups. And for me, it's just hell, because you can't go and broken, seven in a bit minutes of just pain, and then panting, and complaining, and making a meal of it. Megan, carry. What's your thoughts on male and female platonic relationships? They are difficult in my experience. If you only had one party that would be able to get attracted, it would be kind of difficult. But the fact that you have two and that one,

you can either have one person or both people that want the relationship to no longer be platonic, it is very, very hard, I think, to make work. That's not to say that many women can't be friends and absolutely they can, especially, you know, like work colleagues and stuff like that. But you, I think it's right to be careful about which members of the opposite sex you become friends with because if you develop feelings for them or they develop feelings for you, that can lead to quite a bit of suffering and awkwardness. So just be careful, it's all I'm saying. Martha, tits our ass. So as a boob guy, almost all of my 20s,

and then to all the end of my 20s, I've switched, and now I'm a bum guy. And that, if anybody tells you that people can't change, there you go, there's some proof for you. Martin, do you think the currently pretty immature and toxic mannest fear scene will evolve into a more healthy and culturally accepted men's movement similar to second-wave feminism in its day? Man, I've never thought about that before. I have never thought that the current version of the Manusphere or whatever is like just the first iteration of it and that maybe you're going to have another wave that comes through. Now, perhaps we've seen this going from pick-up artistry, Neil Strauss stuff, pivoting into what is now more like red pill,

evolutionary psychology, manosphere, men's rights, black pill, inselly stuff. I would absolutely hope so, and I think that if you were to kind of have a big clean out of all of the toxic elements and all of the shitty elements, that would make for a much better experience for both men that are trying to learn from it and from the women that are hopefully benefiting from the men that will learn from it. So yeah, that would be fantastic. I really hope so. Mindful Mitch, your biggest internal struggle if any as your channel has grown. That's a good question. That's a good question. Um, I, so the last, your last month and a bit, we've done 10 million plays and about

80,000 subs on YouTube. And it is, you do feel the scrutiny. Like I, I feel the increase number of eyes on me, which is strange because that's what you wanted, right? We, I'm doing the show to reach more people, to get more exposure, to have amazing conversations that interest me and to hopefully benefit the lives of everybody that listens or watches. But when it happens very intensely, you are super, super conscious of all of the extra scrutiny and eyes and attention that's on you. And I don't know, it's just something that you become aware of.

You are very, very conscious of the fact that there are so many people watching. But it's the same as anything, right? Like if you change, if you moved cities, or if you went from being in a relationship to being single, or if you lost a loved one, or whatever, but any sort of quick change in life, you're going to notice it,

and this is kind of no different, but that's the one of the bigger internal struggles that I don't know quite how to deal with that increased level of attention yet, and because we spent so much time doing the show with barely any attention on it. It's been, we're going for four years and have done more plays in the last three or four months than in all of the three in a bit years up until then beforehand. So, yeah, that's one of the things I'm going to be working on at learning over the next few months. Sean Powerling, what did you eat when you went

for dinner with Jordan Peterson? So I spent a week with Jordan in New York after the episode, and it was obviously beef, every single meal. I felt like I would be spitting in the face of everybody sat around the table when everyone else ordered beef. I was like, look at the mac and cheese please. So no, I had beef, a lot of beef. M.J. Delaney fit is a setisism, a big lie. Very good question. And yes, I think it is. I think that most people that are recounting the trappings of the modern world and saying, I don't need money or success or status or whatever, I think that for most people is just a cope. I think that that is their way of not having to compete. I spoke about the inner citadel, which is this Isaiah-Belin

concept, and I'm pretty sure that the seticism for most people is there in a city to buy saying that they never cared about money or status or growth or friends or whatever it might be they don't need to face the potential pain of not winning at that game. I also think that Mig Tao and that whatever the female equivalent is like pigtow or like the pink pillow or whatever it's called I think that's a cope in the same way as well. I think that that's a lot of people's inner citadel's right that they just It's less about wanting to be on your own and more about not wanting to be hurt by being in relationships with people of the opposite sex mad hat mat what are your goals for Modern Wisdom in 2022? I want to really work hard on growing the audio plays.

So if you're watching this on YouTube and you're not subscribed on audio, you can get the episodes 10 hours earlier every single day when they go up. They're available 10 hours beforehand on Spotify or Apple podcasts and there will be a link in the show notes below and in the comment.

So you can just follow that through press subscribe and it supports the show and it makes me happy, which is great. I really, really want to grow that because that means that I would then be able to get a producer on board which would help me to just free up some of my time. Like this is so full time. I look for the guests, I'm doing scouting for guests. I'm scheduling for guests. I'm researching. I'm recording. I'm then doing all of the audio editing on the back end. I do all of the promotion on the back end of that. The YouTube briefs and the asset sheets for Dean, all of the clips and the asset sheets for that as well. That's all me still. And it's kind

of becoming, it's not kind of like it is pretty unsustainable, I think at this work, right? And the reason that I'm able to continue going at the moment is that I've got this vision that hopefully soon I'll be able to delegate that to somebody else. So I would look forward to bringing some talented producer in that could work full time and look after all of that stuff. And then it means that I can finally actually spend time doing something which isn't all of the little bits and I can focus on the show and researching and reading. I don't spend, I haven't had that much time

to read stuff aside from what I need to do for the show. So that would be the goals, grow the audio channels. So if you want to help by subscribing and listening, please do. Lewis Keenan 13, do you believe everything happens for a reason in your life? I'm really anti this. I don't like the term that things happen for a reason because I think it takes away the beauty of the agency that you had to make things go well. Let me give you an example. So imagine that you break your leg and upon breaking your leg, you end up losing your job or not being able to stick

in your job and then you change and you end up moving to a new city and getting a new job and that job's even better. You could say, well, I broke my leg for a reason, everything happens for a reason, but the reverse of that is you had something really shitty happen to you and you overcame it and made the situation even better on the back end of a move to a new city and a new job and a broken leg.

That's the more beautiful framing for me. So, things happening for a reason in retrospect seems to take a little bit of the pride that you can have in what you did. Like don't attribute your successes to a higher power that yours, you were the one that made them happen. So you can own them. De-Hon Max, yet again, by the way, I am annihilating all of these names. I haven't got a single one wrong yet.

Favorite city in the world and why? Italy, it is phenomenal. Florence is a closed second. Maybe I should have been born Italian, but at least phenomenal, just steeped in history, beautiful for as long as you can walk, you can walk everywhere. There's history on every single corner. It's gorgeous. Harry, Kenan, 37. Have you tried to get Naval on the pod? Yes, I have. I reached out to him probably about two years ago now and he said that he was taking a sabbatical. It was just after the Rogan episode taking a sabbatical and I haven't pushed again like he would be between him and Sam Harris those are my two must-gets and

You know if it happens it happens. I look forward to him, maybe re-entering the world of doing podcasts at some point. And we'll see. But if I did, that would be, that would be one that I'd be very, very happy about. And would 100% be a, you know, 6K cinema crew fly them out to wherever he is thing. Harrison Matthews regret going on Love Island question mark. Not at all, not at all. It was a yellow, you know. There's not many things you can do that only like less than a thousand people have done. I think there's more people have been to the top of Everest than have been on Love Island and I'm not equating the two. However, my point is that there's just not many things left that only a few people have done.

And it was fun. And it was 27 at the time. So yeah, it was sweet. Freddie Bull, Hi Chris, Eve Psych slash mental health question. Do you think there's a mismatch between the anti-workaholic slash pro men's mental health idea you discussed with Matt Rudd and the desire to be in that top 20% of men needed to be successful with women. It seems the mental health episodes are saying release the tiller KLS and the Eve Psych episodes saying work until you're earning £200,000 and have 5GM sessions a week. Where do you think the balance is between the two? Dude, that is an absolute monster of a question. Thank you. Dude, that is an absolute monster of a question. Uh, thank you.

Yes, this is one of the core tensions that we have in life, right? That I genuinely do believe that releasing the tiller and just allowing yourself to be carried forward is a fundamental foundation that will make you more happy. That being said, we can't get away from the fact that there are certain quantifiable metrics of success that you want to have in life in order to give you access to objectively better modes of living, right? Being rich might not make you happy, but being poor can make you miserable. So, the balance between the two is something that we all need to find, and this is one of the tensions between those two.

In fact, I would say for most people that are, you know, in the Western world and living in all right, the standardised life, a good standard life, this is the tension, right? How much do I want to push and work hard and how much do I want to enjoy? Now the goal is to be able to get those two things to align over the top. You want to be able to have the thing that you push and work hard at, to be the thing that you're able to release the tillerat. So you could imagine sport stars would be a good example of this, that they express themselves and they're in the moment and they find flow, doing the thing that also gains some status. This being said, you can make the work hard until you're earning money and go to the gym and do stuff like that. You can make all of that

easier by trying to do things that you genuinely enjoy. So if you find a gym routine that you actually fundamentally enjoy to do, you're not going to think twice about going to the gym five sessions a week. You're going to want to go 10 sessions a week and you're going to have to hold yourself back. So I would continue to explore with what it is that you do to earn money and side hustles that you also do to earn money and your training and your charisma training and other stuff and your personal development until you find the thing that you're going to genuinely enjoy. And then that's going to allow you to care less because your program is going to carry you forward. But that's an awesome question

and attention, I think, a lot of people feel. Guy 14, G14. Did you have to pay Jordan Peterson to get on the podcast? No, no, that is not the way it works. I've never heard of people, the probably are people that do podcasts where they pay their guests to come on or something, but it's never the way it's worked on this show. Angapanda, good name. Did you find it difficult transitioning from party-boy background into the thoughtful productive human you are now? And if so, what were the biggest difficulties? Advice for an ex-party addict trying to put their life right, please. Yeah, it is strange because the things that you used to hold yourself, used to have as values and what you considered to be something valuable that you did, like who you knew or

what girl you'd slept with the last previous week or how many people came up to you on a night out or how successful your events were or whatever. All of that no longer serves you. So you think, okay, well, if that's not the thing that I genuinely value, what is the thing that I genuinely value? And that's a very scary question. So changing a change of values and what you value in yourself is one of the biggest difficulties that you need to overcome, the things that you used to value no longer do. Your friend group is probably going to change

because you're going to be doing different things. Definitely one of the biggest bits of advice would be try and do something that puts you in a place like the sort of person that you want to be. So I wanted to be someone that had a more holistic view of fitness. So I started doing CrossFit and I started doing White Eye and Fighting because I thought, while these people will be more all-encompassing, there will be more on their diet, they're going to be training harder, which means they're going to party less, they're probably

going to have good social lives because they're in a gym, which is the training methodology is focused around a communal approach as opposed to an individual approach. So look at different friend groups, assess your values and think about where you want to go, consider trying to make some fundamental changes to your routine, consider going sober for an extended period of time. You know, six months of sobriety is going to force you to find other things to do with your life, especially if you're partying regularly. So those would be some suggestions.

Apple DOM. You discuss masculinity, intimacy, openness, so curious your thoughts on pegging. Not for me, DOM. Thanks. Let me rose. As a single child, do you wish to have children? If so, how many do you wish to have and why? Yeah, I am, I keep saying this, I can't wait to be a dad. I really, really can't wait to. I would probably want, I think, three children that seems to

be between two and three seems to be sort of optimal for the child's development. I also know that, you know, I very much appreciate that more children is harder work, but I also think that to support the child's upbringing, probably having a couple of siblings around is a good idea. You know, you struggle to socialize kids as much when they're on their own versus if they've got siblings that they can constantly play with. I always think about what it would have been like if I'd had brothers or sisters.

And you know, turned out relatively okay, longer term. But yeah, it's, I think probably about two or three, I can't wait, it's gonna be a huge challenge that I'm absolutely, definitely not emotionally ready for, but it's gonna be fun. Fernanda, Savannah's top five or 10 books you recommend

can give you a list of 100, actually. My reading list, Modern Wisdom Reading List, is available and it's free and you can get it somewhere up here or by going to chriswillx.com slash books. It's 100 that you need to read before you die and they've all got summaries and I tell you what I think about them and why I like them and there's links to just go and get them straight away and it's free chriswillx.com slash books. Carl Dorington, question, Eddie Hall or Thor, who you got?

Dude, I've seen some sparring footage on the, while some like padwork footage of Eddie Hall, and it doesn't look good, like it really doesn't look good. And I saw a video today of him and Thor in a, some corner shop, it's like some 7-Eleven somewhere, and they're kicking off at each other. And Eddie's really lost him, is sort of cool. And maybe that's just all for the cameras, but I want Eddie to win,

but I feel like Thor might have it. One thing that we can all agree on is their transformation, both of their body transformations, is mental, absolutely insane. Jo Jo McLaugh, any lessons learnt this year so far and how to deal with other opinions of you? Yeah, I mean, we're only into what March, but yeah, I would say that there's been a little bit of pushback around some of the guests that I've had on the show and that this increased scrutiny has given people that followed the show or people that had an idea of who I was or what I was trying to do the show for to really kind of steam in and or what I was trying to do this show for,

to really kind of steam in and try and, I don't know, say that, let's say that I'm supposed to be some pretty boy gateway drug right to the alt-right. The presumption there would have to be that I'm doing endless episodes about how to perfect your running form or about the best rep ranges to gain muscle or about how to survive productivity dysmorphism.

It's just like bottomless numbers of life hacks episodes and like nerdy bits and pieces like that. Meanwhile, what I'm actually doing is like rapidly scratching myself under the table with like gripping onto things, just not being able to wait until I get my hands under some new culture while problem. One of the most annoying things that you can do to people is disprove their presumption of what they thought you were. Now sometimes you do this with a friend when they thought that you were a friend and you do something bad and they go, that really, really hurt. One of the reasons is that you've broken their view that they had of you. Now similarly,

there are people on the internet that presumed that you're part of one side or one tribe or they thought that they had you in a particular box. And if you do something that their version of you wouldn't have done, they get very, very upset. So the how to deal with other's opinions of you and the lessons learned is you're kind of the same question for me because there's been a lot more scrutiny and I'm not 100% sure about how to deal with it. And I think as well, it's just a strange thing to have happen.

Like the human system is not designed to have 10 million people. We did 1.3 million hours of content watched. That doesn't include audio in the last four weeks. What, let's say, I think we worked it out, it's 200 years of uninterrupted content that's been viewed. I don't know what to think about that. And that means that you're going to have more and more and more people giving their opinion. So the main thing that I think I've learned

is that as your platform grows, and as you reach more and more people, you have to take input less and less seriously over time. Originally when you start something, you need to take or you can afford to take the people who are contributing with, you know, you can actually take the time to read what they're saying. You can presume that they're saying it in good faith because the audience is so small that most of the people who watch are probably only there because they genuinely do they're saying you can presume that they're saying in good faith because the audience is so small that most of the people who watch are probably only there because they genuinely do have an investment in you or maybe they're your friends or they're kind of part of a peri social

circle that you've got. However, as that grows, Tim Ferris has this thing where he talks about how million to one odds happen eight times a day in New York because there's eight million people that live there. So there's million to one odds that have happened a day in New York, because there's eight million people that live there. So there's million to one odds that have happened 10 times in the last four weeks on the show. Dealing with other's opinions of you, just do the thing that you think you're supposed to do as well as you can do it, and that's it.

So a lot of people would, I don't know, give their opinions and say that I should have done things better or worse or whatever, and that's fine, but I've really given it a good shot and that means that I'm kind of immune to it. Well, look, like maybe it would have been great if I'd said this, I'd ask that or push back in this way, but I didn't. And I didn't think of it at the time. And maybe I'll do it again in future, I'll learn from that and try and do it better, but

yeah, do the thing that you're here to do as well as you can. It doesn't really matter what other people's opinions of you are. RJLD. Would you ever have someone non-famous on your podcast? Yes, I do, all the time. I look forward to bringing people like Anna Codriarado, who's written a book but has a moderate online following or an Adam Lane Smith or a Vincent Haranam, people who are basically like closet heroes, absolute monsters, but within a niche, and then giving them a platform. This is the coolest thing, and this is the coolest thing that Rogan's been able to do.

He's made, Rogan's made people's careers. He made Lex Friedman to a large degree, Jocka Willink, David Goggins, Jordan Peterson, Brett Weinstein, Eric Weinstein. You know, you can be a platform for people who absolutely deserve to have an audience because they're talented or they're brilliant or they're interesting or they're funny. But as of yet, they haven't done that.

Because for almost all of the come up on any sort of platform, what you're doing is you're asking other people for favors. You're saying, I want you, David Sinclair, Douglas Murray, Carl Benjamin, whatever, person who has way more cloud than me, I want to kind of steal, I want to slip stream you and hold onto your co-tails for a little bit. And then, after a little while, you realize, well, my platform's got to the stage where I don't just need to do that. I can actually be that platform for someone else.

And that's the coolest thing. And it makes me so happy, you know, to find some awesome underground monster and then just say, like, go and put your brilliance out there. Go Indobogal, perfect example, wrote a Twitter thread that went absolutely insane once. He's just a dude, he's just like a computer science dude out there. I've brought him on, smashed it. One of my favorite episodes of last year. Brilliant. Liam Michael Henderson, your personal experiences slash opinion of monogamy. I think it's right for most people. I think the trends around non-monogamy are

as yet unproven to me, generally as a even a medium-term strategy. And my personal experiences of monogamy are vast and mostly littered with failures, but not always. Charlie H. Cooxy. Why do you write air pods yet used wired earphones? Fuck, this is such a smart insight. So the reason that I use these, which is literally just a pair of the old style, orks cable, Apple headphones, which you used to get with an iPhone, but you can now buy on Amazon, is because when you're using the recording software that I use, and all the full setup that I have for recording the podcast, with this microphone, Bluetooth headphones have a non-zero chance of fucking up and I just find it being wired in makes very little change in terms of the quality

but means that nothing ever goes wrong in an audio setting. However, I am aware that me being such a evangelist for AirPods, AirPods Pros, and then not putting them on to record in, I appreciate the hypocrisy. Right, some of the questions from the local's community. If you want to join that, you can go to modernwisdom.locals.com. So over 3,000 people in there that like to show and that think about the stuff that we're talking about today. Louise Solil. Hey, Chris, do you think you'll ever do a live show slash Meet and Greet one day? I would absolutely love to. I've been in talks very sort of minor talks about potentially doing a

book or a couple of books. And if I did that, I would 100% be looking at doing some shows off the back of that, doing a live tour. Meeting greets, I was considering doing one during South by Southwest, but I'm kind of nervous to do one a little bit because what if no one shows up, that would suck. So yeah, I mean, I probably should try and do one and just swallow my ego and see what happens. Or maybe do one with someone else, maybe do one with Zach's calendar out here, and then

if it fails, then we can kind of both blame each other and say that each other doesn't have a big enough audience. But yeah, if I can get past my fear of putting on a meet and greet and then no one showing up, I would love to. I've been to a few meet and greets here for other people's things since I've been in Austin, and they're so fun. It's just a group of people that all know the same content and talk about stuff. So it has been great. I should, I should get over myself and probably do that. Sean Rambles, was there a specific, if not too personal, reason you move to Austin,

or are you just riding the wave of life? Very much, just riding the wave. I like it out here. It's the middle of March and 27 degrees Celsius, glorious sunshine. And my gym is a seven minute walk. And I can record from here and go out for dinner on a night time. And there's things to do and everybody's into health and fitness. And it's, it's great. I really, really do enjoy it. Plus, I was kind of tethered to the UK for a very long time, right? 15 years from when I moved to Newcastle for University until November 2021. I'd been there with some small periods of like a season in Ibiza or a trip to Bali. I've basically been there my entire life

and I have quite a big wanderlust. I have, I love traveling, I love adventure. So the opportunity to go somewhere else and still do the main thing contribute to that is that's one of the best things, right? To be able to have something that you can pick up and move and still enjoy all the stuff that you like about being on holiday, which is new people,

new experiences, novel, intense, blah, blah, but also be able to still do the thing which gives you that sense of industry a satisfaction. So I'm still contributing to my broader, longer term, meaning while doing something which is happiness, right? So you have happiness on one side and you have meaning on the other, and you're able to facilitate both. So yeah, it's pretty good. LJ22, during the Jeffrey Miller episode, you discussed the issue of coddling people and Jeffrey posed the question, the last three times someone's broken up with you, have you asked them why? With what you have learned about today's dating market

in mind, if an amalgamated avatar of the partners you have broken up with over time was created, and you were asked to conduct an exit interview or debriefing with it providing Honest perhaps brutally honest feedback about the things that were within its control to change and enabling it to level up future relationships What would your advice be? Fuck this is another awesome question Right, I think awesome question. Right. I think one of the common issues that I've had with X's has been their tension between what I want to do in life, what I fundamentally feel as a calling,

so usually business or personal development and me seeing them. And this is something that I think is mirrored in a lot of relationships that I have with, that I see my friends in, where it feels like the girlfriend sees the pursuit as the boyfriend choosing that over them. And that is from that day in fur, that they maybe don't love them that much

or that anxiety you know, anxieties kick in. If you as a partner begin to get in between your male partner and the thing that they think that they're on the planet to do, it's not going to go well because very quickly they're going to, the boyfriend is going to begin to resent the girlfriend for getting in the way of doing something that isn't with that. And like, what are you going to do instead, especially if it's, well, just come around and we'll watch Netflix and you go,

hang on a second. So you're saying that I can't go and do the thing that I think I'm supposed to do to contribute to my highest purpose in life. And the alternative is to go to the cinema or go do Netflix or something like that. Now, you could say that it's the job of the boyfriend, me, to make the girl feel so comfortable that that isn't a concern because she's been reassured and you might be right. But that's a mechanism

that I have consistently seen happen and it's very, very destructive to relationships. I would also say that concerns around spending time with friends or going traveling is another one. So, you know, this again kind of comes back to the are you paying attention to something else instead of the girl and them not being happy with that and then maybe making you feel guilty about doing that and again Perhaps it's your job to make them feel sufficiently comfortable, but I also think that on average This can bring up some anxieties that kind of aren't justified or aren't warranted

you can spend you know two or three nights a week with a girlfriend that you're seeing and it's you know in just the middle chunk of a relationship but if you decide to spend the other four nights with friends you sometimes end up on the receiving end of a lot of tension. Those both of those things I think are completely destructive. You're making the boyfriend choose between what he wants to do and his social support and his time with friends and you. Like you're actually creating a polarity or a, like an enemy dynamic between you and that and that's not good. But you don't want your partner to see you as the enemy of his purpose and his friends. How did you ever actually thinking about it?

Like, how was that ever going to work? So that's what I'd say. Col Campbell, what is the biggest red pill you have swallowed in the last 12 months? Probably the corporate press very rarely know what they're talking about and the people in power don't have a clue either. That's maybe been the last two years. I think that COVID has taught me more than anything that most of the people who are in positions of power are just idiots all the way up.

They're no better or more informed or more virtuous or with higher integrity or better insight than me or you or anybody else that just fallible idiots that have managed to make their way into a position of power and now they're trying to say that you're supposed to listen to them because they're in a position of power and that then gets weaponized by a media that has an agenda. and that then gets weaponized by a media that has an agenda. So a complete lack of faith in mainstream media and in the powers that be, which is obviously fantastically uplifting. Col Campbell, part two, what work have you done to enable you to push back and probe more with guests that hold more controversial or challenging views or opinions. Good question. So I said last time on the 250 episode, which was only three

months ago or something, that I was after a conversation with Chris and Matt from decoding the gurus, I was really working at trying to understand how to be more disagreeable in episodes and be able to push back and find holes in the arguments of the people that I'm speaking to. And it's a skill that you need to learn. You know, I said that that was something I'm really working on and that's one of the fundamental skills that I'm trying to develop. But it's not going to come overnight, right? You don't just make a decision to be able to do something and then be able to do it. That being said, I am starting to see in a bunch of different episodes and in conversations with my friends, I'm practicing ways to be able to push back, to be able to

hang in a second, hang in be able to hang in a second, hang in a second, hang in a second. Are you actually saying that, you know, just all of these little intonations and strategies that you have to not destroy the conversation? Cause it's really difficult to like hammer someone and then have the conversation continue to move forward in a good faith way because, well, you've just said something that's made their idea feel really stupid,

or that's made them whatever uncomfortable. Doing that and continuing the flow and continuing the rhythm of the conversation is a genuine art form, and that's when you realize that people like, I don't know, like a Rogan's pretty good at doing this, that generally when he does give pushback and pushback can continue for a long time, where it fractures the conversation into little back-forth, back-forth, back-forth. And then it's still amicable and stuff

as it continues to go on. That's a real skill. And that's been constantly doing that when I'm having conversations with friends, if I'm sad in the sauna or if I'm listening to another podcast, thinking all the time, okay, where is an unsubstantiated claim here? Where is something that I don't think that they've expanded on enough? Where is the term that I don't think that they've defined?

All of those points are there areas that I'm trying to work on. You've said, hold more controversial or challenging views or opinions. I do think that there probably is a little bit of a responsibility to do that up against people who are more controversial or have challenging views or opinions. That being said, it's not my job to be the, to say what the audience wants to hear. It's like to ask questions that would be interesting for the audience to hear, yeah, but if I just have a day where I want to have a conversation

with somebody, we forget this about Rogan. I think someone who brought up, I can't remember which episode it was, that he'd done something and he seemed like he was really off in the relationship with him and this person was one way or another. He think, well, maybe that, or maybe he just had a bad night's sleep,

or maybe he just had an argument with his misses when he left the house. We forget that people, famous people, or whatever are people too, and they have all of the same issues that every other normal person has. So working on it in and outside of the show, and I think that with the skill acquisition and where it's at at the moment

I think that by the end of this year I will be much much better at doing it and every episode I'm trying hard to do it as well Caroline Gray if you were to recommend three other podcasts to listen to what would they be and why? Okay, well you'll already listen to all of the big ones like the Tim Dillens and the Rogans and stuff. So I'll try and pick three that are a little bit off the wall. The end of the world with Josh Clark is a nine-part series on existential risk, one episode on different types of ex-risk, so nuclear threats or engineered pandemics or bio-weapons or whatever.

And it's beautifully sound-scaped, they've got gorgeous, full interviews, chopped up, integrated with the way that the sound track works. It's just beautiful, really beautiful. So that's the end of the world with Josh Clark. That's great. The coming storm on BBC Radio 4's podcast, which you can get on Spotify and stuff like that, that's about the Q&N on world and how that came about.

And it tracks right back to sort of the mid-90s with Bill Clinton and then Hillary Clinton all the way up through January 6th. I think that's maybe a six-part series, something like that. That was again, you can see a bit of a trend between both of these beautifully soundtracked, really, really lovely production. What's a final one? I think it's called Reflecting on History,

and it's got a red logo. I think it might have the tank from Tiananmen Square, and it's just this dude that breaks down, like really small podcast, but this dude breaks down interesting stuff from history and I really appreciate it. So there's three. Jonathan, oh fuck, Sal Dar, Sal Dar, Ria Gah, Jonathan's Sal Dar, Ria Gah nailed it. I loved your episode with Cosmic Skeptic. What are the reasons slash justifications

to keep consuming animals? And don't you see it as a moral imperative to decrease unnecessary suffering? I agree. I do agree. I think that my diet is definitely at odds with my morals at the moment because it is unnecessary suffering. I don't have a pushback against Alex's position. I think that it's... I'm sure that there is someone out there that would be able to find a hole in the philosophy, but I don't think that it would compel me as much as Alex's position has. The main reason, and I would say that this is the reason for most people, if you were able to give them an equally convenient, equally tasty, equally nutritious diet that reduced suffering, they would absolutely do it. The reason I don't is convenience, right? It's convenience and habit. And this is what I've

said to Alex as well, privately, that to get more people on board with veganism, it needs to be made easier. I understand you can, I'm a perfect example of this, like I'm convinced by the philosophy that underpins it, but it's effortful for me to do it. And I don't know how, I don't know what the first steps and so on and so forth. I really think that the same way as there is a, you know, like, sober October, dry January, I think it's like no fat, no fat in November or something as well. There should be a, if they did a vegan month, or they do veganuary, I suppose, don't they? That's not really very well promoted, or at least I don't think it is.

That is the sort of thing, introducing it, making it more easy and integrating it with people's habits. I think that would make the biggest difference. Tim, is Jordan Peterson the same wise kind and humble man off camera that he is on camera? Yeah, like the guys, he's the real deal and he's very attentive, very caring. He also absolutely spanked me at Top Golf as well, which wasn't an enjoyable experience. Arrived in San Antonio with video guide Dean

and Michaela Rangin said, Dad wants to go to Top Golf, but no one else wants to go to Top Golf. Will you go? Cherenav fine, turned up, thought, you know, Jordan's not that long out of recovery and he's in his like 50s or 60s. Now, I've got to get, I've got to have

this guy, turns out that he is uncomfortably good at golf significantly better than I am. So, but I was better than video guy Dean, which is what's most important. So, there we are. Yadis for real. What's one thing that no matter what you do, you still struggle with? I have quite a negative inner monologue. The voice that's inside of my head isn't a massively nice person sometimes, or a chunk of the time.

And that lack of assistance or support internally is something that I wish that I had. I don't know quite where that voice comes from. I am working with my new therapist on this, me and Vinnie are talking about what, where it comes from, what the sort of heritage of this is doing a bit of archaeology. But yeah, I would say that. And I know a lot of people that have this too right, that they're good performers or whatever, but the internal landscape is still not a very nice place to be. And it's good because you go, well, it motivates

you to do more and you see these people that have unbelievable successes. But you don't know what their internal state is like. And that's why you should be very, very cautious about being jealous of anyone. They might have it all sorted. They might have the life. They might have the house and the career and the status and the money, but it might not be a very nice place to be inside. And that's what I'm working on. I am significantly better as well. I can celebrate my wins and I can support myself and stuff, but that's still it. And it's not the thing is as well, what's the one thing that no matter what you do, you still struggle with? This thing isn't the thing that will be fixed by what I do. It will be fixed by the way that I see what I do. And this is where that imposter adaptation mechanism thing that

brochines style of existence or into existence. That's where that came from, right? That it's this sort of thought pattern isn't fixed externally, it's fixed internally, and it's not about you reaching some particular level that's then going to fill the hole. It's about you filling the hole and then reaching the level. Michael Stokes, how did you get into podcasting and how many subscribers did you have before inviting your first guest. So I was invited onto the propane fitness podcast, probably about five years ago, Ish, and I really enjoyed it. And I thought that was fun. I wish I could do that more. Hang on. If I did that myself, I could do it all the time. I could do it as much as I want. So I dicked about for about four months trying to come up with a name and a brand and

Some other bits and then Banked a few episodes and then released it but literally zero zero subscribers before inviting my first guest and I think I had four episodes ready stew my friend life hacks one and one and one or two Dan Bailey and Dave Castro from Crossfit had five, had five banked before we released anything and then just went from there and it's now every week at least in one form or another for four years, which is kind of wild when I think about it.

Kwame, a free... Congratulations on 350K. Thank you. A lot of the work you do is clearly intense. A big part of this is doing things that aren't work. So working more has diminishing returns, and this is a lesson that I learned a couple of years ago. And it's one of the reasons why self-care is within the five core values that I have, because if I don't look after me, I can't do the things that other people value me for. Mentally and physically, meditation every day, morning walk upon waking, walks regularly throughout the day to break up in between activities.

Before this, I was just later in the day and I thought, right, I'm not quite in the zone to be animated and to think about all of these questions. So I went for a little walk, like put my feet in some cold water, came back and I'm like, right, I'm ready to go. Training usually between five and seven times a week. Some sessions are just turning over, listening to a podcast or just chilling out, not a super intense session.

Other sessions where I need to really send it, I'll tend to have either a training partner listening to a podcast or just chilling out not a super intense session, other sessions where I need to really send it, I'll tend to have either a training partner or a class, just because I find it significantly easier to work really hard when I've got that accountability, externalize. That's something I think more people need to realize. It's not that you're struggling to get motivation to go to the gym, it's that you're going on your own, it's really really hard to be motivated to do anything on your own. Other stuff mentally, making sure that I sleep, again, it's like trying to say,

sleep's the most important recovery strategy that you've got, but focusing on sleep, and spending more time around other people as well. I think I rely quite heavily on myself, got that single only child mentality, and forcing myself to be more social, which is easy in Austin because, or easier in Austin because there's lots of things happening,

forcing myself to be more social gets myself out with my own head, gets myself out with my own workspace, and then when I come back, I'm actually invigorated to come and do stuff, as opposed to it just constantly being this endless convey belt grind. So it means that my emails get replied to quite poorly

however When I actually get around to doing any bit of work. I genuinely want to Jake Ken Parker Do you think going on decoding the gurus has changed your approach to how you conduct interviews. And if so, what have you changed? The guests since have included a few people who will be on the hit list, do you think you gave enough pushback? So, yes, this is similar to what I said earlier on. It definitely has changed my approach to how I conduct interviews. And I have a lot to thank Chris and Matt for doing that. They highlighted that I wasn't being sufficiently disagreeable and that I need to work on that

ability to be able to push back, to not just be a mouthpiece that allows anybody to come on and talk about whatever they want, whether their ideas are dangerous or not, it's just a more interesting interview and a more virtuous way to do an interview and a podcast. If you do pushback, because if that person cracks under pressure, it shows that their understanding of what they were talking about is fairly limited. And if they don't understand what they're talking about and the pushback breaks them, then they didn't deserve to be talking about it in any case, and if the pushback doesn't and they give a really great answer, then the audience is more bought in to the thing that they were saying. So it's like a win-win, but it is a little bit of a trial by

fire for the guest. Guests since have included a few people who will be on their hit list, yeah, probably, so I think James O'Keefe is probably someone that they're not a huge fan of, Carl Benjamin. I'm not sure how they feel about Mary Harrington, Malice, maybe their audience has a huge problem with Jordan Peterson. But again, like I said, it's not. The show has done 450 episodes, I'm just in 450 episodes and I would guess that of 450 less than 50 of them, absolutely less than 100 of them, but probably less than 50 of them have been on culture war topics. You know, we've done like 5% of the episode, more than 5% of the episodes of all time have been life hacks episodes. So for any critic to think that what I'm doing to show for is to be a rabid culture warrior that is surreptitiously sneaking it in under

the guise of doing 10 or 20 episodes on nerdy productivity or life hacks or self-development just so that I get to bring my next like alt-right troll on. I don't think that there's a lot of evidence for that. Do I think that I gave enough pushback? I do with in certain sections. It's difficult to do every single time perfectly, and it's something that I'm developing. However, James O'Keefe, I got a bunch of messages from people saying I was surprised at how much you like the place that you took him to, asking questions about do you think that you're impartial? What are the ethics of undercover recording? Are you sure that you don't have people that have got my line

intent when they come and speak to you and they try to be sources for your news organization. So I felt really, really happy with how I'd done that. And I didn't get any negative comments on Twitter or on YouTube or on anything else about that. And I think it's a sort of episode that people probably would have had a big problem with. I'm working hard, right. Say what you want. It's not going to happen overnight, but it is a skill that I'm developing, and I can see the trajectory of where I'm going to get to. And I know that I'm doing this in good faith. I genuinely care about doing this right, and I'm going to. So for the people that have a problem with the fact that I bring certain guests on. But here's another thing, right? So going on decoding the gurus,

I knew was going to create a rod for my own back because I could no longer feign ignorance about the things that I'm not good at that they have a problem with. So as soon as I say, yeah, I understand about this and this and this, that is then a waterline that I can continually be judged up against. But until you poke your head

above and actually identify that you know about it, you can kind of always feign ignorance and people don't have this sense that you are now obliged to live up to the standard that you said that you are going to try and do, if that makes sense. So I was aware that by making my awareness of the criticisms public, that that then makes me culpable for not adhering to whatever standard they feel or whoever feels I should be. But I've had a bunch of calls with Chris, I've spoken to Chris offline a fair bit. And, you know, for all of the criticisms, like, I'm happy with the way that I'm going. I'm happy with the direction that my skill levels going in.

And yeah, I'm not at the place. There's still a lot of work for me to do on that side of things, on the disagreeability side. However, like, worlds apart from where I was two years ago, worlds apart from where I was six months ago, and I know that I'm continuing to work on it. And more important than that, like, I know that I care, right? So whoever it is, if there's a person that doesn't have a lot of faith, it's like, okay, come back in six months and see how different it is,

because it will be different. And other than that, like I'm doing it for me, I'm happy with the conversations that I have. I know that I'm doing the best that I can. So Chris Thompson, any unknown hobbies homemade sushi cardistry? What the fuck is cardistry? Cardistry is the performance art of card flourishing. Unlike card magic, cardistry is meant to be visually impressive and to be very hard to execute. Term cardistry is a port mantu of card and artistry. Oh, I should have seen that coming. Backgammon, big love.

Anyone known hobbies, homemade sushi, cardistry, backgammon, big love, big love to you two. Curious, great name. Fantasy books, read a lot of fantasy books, stuff like Red Rising and the name of the Wind and I've just got into Brandon Sanderson because everybody told me that I had to on Twitter. It's most of this stuff, you don't really have Not a cooker. I quite enjoy history documentaries, timeline world history on YouTube is one of my most watched, but I'm not really convinced that watching YouTube, no matter what it is, is a hobby. Fantasy, you're going to go fantasy, give you the same answer that I gave to

take me out. Dusty Green, how has growing in fame or money changed or affected you both for the better and the worse? Well, I mean, the money thing is, we're not at the stage where that's really made much difference. I've kind of swapped one income for another with the nightlife stuff. But growing in fame is kind of weird because it's, I've managed to get to what like nano influencer

level in a very particular niche, a very particular type of person that watches one platform of many platforms. And all that I feel for the most part is gratitude for the people that watch like you and like ambient anxiety about what this means or about the attention and stuff like that that comes. Something that you can do, which I never really thought of previously, you absolutely can overshoot fame. There is certainly a thing that's becoming too famous and I'm thankfully nowhere near that and probably never will be. But it probably arrives sooner than you think. Tim Ferris has this amazing article. I think

it's called 13 Reasons Not to Get Famous, and it's fantastic. That's something that I'm very conscious of as well, that once you take that genie out of the bottle, there's no putting it back in. Like once you've got too famous You can't you can't stop that and the problem with problem one of the side effects of podcasting is that The ideal scenario would be everybody knows your name and nobody knows your face and sadly with podcasting you have the potential reverse where everybody knows your face and nobody knows your name As some people know your face and nobody knows your name or some people know your name

and then maybe they know Reddit threads that have been made about you. It'll be interesting to see what happens over the next year or so, like I said, if you looked at the graph of what the growth of the show looks like, I promise you, it's just flat. It's flat for two and a half, nearly three years, and then there's tiny little wobbles,

because obviously when you expand something out to exponential growth, it looks stupid. So every single thing is a new challenge, and I don't really know. I know that Lex struggles at least a little bit with this, the increased attention, which is bizarre, because it's what you want, because you're doing the show, to reach more people and have great conversations, but also it's kind of the sort of thing and it also sounds like such a first world problem, but it is a challenge right and you know speaking for myself this month, I've been very, very conscious of the increased eyes and scrutiny and stuff, and I don't really know how to deal with it, but I've never met a hatred in real life. with it, but I've never met a hatred in real life and the people that come up say gorgeous, nice things and the messages that you guys leave me make me feel, I've said this before,

I have an album on my phone of all of the messages that I've received, even the ones sometimes that I haven't had time to reply to, that Ben has, assistant, Ben's put in, and I've screen shot it those, and then if I'm having a down day or if I'm feeling like I just demotivated or I have a period where people say bad stuff about me on the internet I just go and look at that and it gasses me up so much so thank you to you people that do reach out. Malik is playing to my strengths better get all of your shortcomings, all of the areas of your life to the minimum effective dose. You need to have the entry level, minimum amount of understanding about all of the things that you need to be able to do,

to be a functional human. And then once you've done that, I would say focus on one or two of your strengths and just go an inch wide in a mile deep on those because you're not going to make as big of an impact at being five out of ten on everything as you are at being three out of 10 on everything, as you are at being 3 out of 10 on everything except for 2, 8 or 9s out of 10s or 1, 10 out of 10. That being said, there is a risk. Let's say that it's to do with health or finances to good examples. If you don't give them any attention at all, you're going to be dead or diabetic or broke very very quickly. So get yourself to the minimum level that you need with those ones.

And then absolutely focus on your strengths. That's... You don't need to be a jack of all trades across stuff. You just need to be a master of like one or two. Sean Spooner, what's one question? You didn't ask a guest at the time that you've wondered about ever since? That is a very, very good question. I'm not sure. I'm going to think about that. I'm not sure. I'm going to think about that. I'm really, really happy with most of the ways that the episodes have gone recently. I've prepped right. The episode of flow of

them has been good. That is a really good question. That's the first one that's flimics me, and I'm going to have to come back to Mr. Robot, what are your big three lift PRs? Well, it depends on whether or not you're talking about CrossFit Total or Powerlifting Total. I'm going to presume that you mean Powerlifting Total. Deadlift is 210 kilos. Benchpress is 145 kilos. Squat. 45 kilos. Squat. One, I haven't tested my 1-Watt max squat in as long as I can remember. Probably 165, 170. Back injury hasn't been very nice with squats. Flupse. What's your favorite thing about Michael Males? How much he has supported me and invited me to meet new people since I've been in Austin? Chris Rubio, I have a question for you Chris.

Good, I'm here. What makes you think it's a wise idea to refer to subscribers to your channel as cult members? Does this imply that you're the leader? That question. I don't know where that came from. I think someone started talking about a wisdom cult, and I sort of went with that. I'm kind of thinking of starting wisdom cult merch.

It's kind of a cool name. I quite like the idea of a positive or a holistic cult. I think Hamza has got a similar idea to me as well, like around the idea that most cults are seen as bad things, but the buy-in that you get from people, the only reason it's bad is because of the outcome, the buy-in that you get from people could actually be used for good. Does it imply that I'm leader? I have no idea. I don't think through everything that much. However, maybe I should say something else. Of all of the nefarious things that I could call people, like a completely arbitrary term that talks about a group being adhered together,

I don't think cult members is that bad. However, I'm open to alternatives. But I do want to have more metamine content around the channel. It's so good at this, right? He memes first and then explains later. So I am going to try and do a bit more of that. I mean, that comes out in the local's community a bit, but it's hard to have in jokes when it's only you as the host and the guests always change. So having some consistent sort of terminology

is kind of funny and useful and makes people feel like they belong. But I don't know. Cult members was just something that came out. What makes you think it's a wise idea? I'm unsure, I'm aware that this is modern wisdom, but it is what it is. We might change that. Hey Chris, I really appreciate your podcast and deep conversations you have on them from Alexander. What are some of the effects of being well-known that people might not think about? It seems more commonplace today, but I think it's a bit unusual to have 100,000 plus people know what you look like and know about you. It could be a bit overwhelming to have many people contact you too. This is what I was saying before, like there is such

a thing as being too famous and again nano influence amaze absolutely not there, but Some of the effects have been well known one of them is that you Very rarely are you questioning your own motivations and thought patterns and the things that you say in the ways that you say them and thought patterns and the things that you say in the ways that you say them, unless you're saying them with an audience that's them watching, and the degree of

self-scrutiny and self-doubt, perhaps this is led into a little bit by the internal monologue that I've got in my own mind, but you scrutinize the things that you say a lot more because you know that they're going to be rigorously tested by the whatever 100,000 people, 350,000 people that you're talking to. And yet it is, it's a strange thing. We're not designed for this many people to know who we are. We're not designed for this many people to pay us attention. And I did a newsletter this week, which you can sign up for if you go to Chriswelex.com.

I did a newsletter talking about how fame used to be a signal for you having done something virtuous. And now it's kind of this hollow, vapid end in itself. People used to want to be famous because it was a signal of you having done something. Now people want to be famous just to be famous. It's obligation-free status and it's not the thing that everybody wants. In fact, it's not the thing that most people should desire to want. It's only a very particular type of person. Again, you see this with Lex, right? like he's someone that spends 16 hours a day programming and Building robots and wants to try and change the world with you know doing this is programming in his robotics and then whatever like

Probably a hundred and or two hundred or five hundred million people have watched the stuff that he does What how's he supposed to think about that? And again, who's going to say, oh, poor influences on the internet. Or podcasters or YouTubers or whatever. Look at them. They've got it so hard. Yeah, I am aware that it's not, it's like the most first world problem sympathy to ask for.

But it is a strange beast. And I'm going to continue to try and be as open as possible as I go through this growth. But here's another thing, right? Most people that are famous, even if it's famous, with a trajectory from when you can see when they weren't famous. So not like Justin Bieber fame, where he's always been famous and he's like a hyper star. I'm talking, you know, Jordan Peterson or someone like that, where you, there was a world where he wasn't, and now there's a world where he is, and you've been able to track his progression through all of that. I don't think that most people see those people as people. They don't see someone like Joe Rogan or Jordan Peterson as an actual

person. They see them like a representation of ideas and this is one of the reasons why people are prepared to say such crazy things on the internet. I don't know about you, I have never written out some awful horrible comment to send to someone in vitriol on the internet unless it's a threat like I've said much worse things to my friends than I have to my to to randoms and people forget that people are people no matter how many subscribers or followers they've got you know all of these news stories and analyses and reaction videos and stuff like that, you think there is another person

on the other side of this, and the internet has dehumanized much of humanity, and the people who garner the most attention are the ones that are dehumanized the most, and the ones that have the most scrutiny, and the ones that get the most attention, and the ones that have the most messages incoming in comments. It's not like the haven that fame promised everyone. That's something that I think me and everybody as well should remember. I think the most popular job for primary school kids now is a YouTuber. You know, like if you hit a million subs or if you hit a couple of million subs, you might regret your

decision and you can't really put that genie back in the bottle. Your Han Manuel Gasser, what a great name. You have inspired me to not drink for a while. It's been almost two months since my last beer. Brother, congratulations, well done. That's amazing. Stick at it, stick at it for six months and see where you get to. Lisa, what does an ideal date look like for you?

Not in terms of the person, but the place is activities, topics of the conversation, et cetera. Walking date, walking date is one of the best things that you can do. It's short, you can do it during a lunch break or whatever. You're kind of moving and because you're, unless you're one person's walking backward, facing the person that's working for, walking forward, you're gonna be side by side, which makes it a little bit less intense. It means that there's always new stuff to talk about

or to comment on. You can people watch, which is fantastic, and everybody needs to be interested in people watching. There'll be nature, you'll keep moving. And if the dates are complete disaster, it's what, like a half hour walk and you can, you know, you can just say, oh, so to see there and do whatever, that I think is one of the best ways to start a conversation. A little bit different. Like it's very dependent on what that person is. But the bottom line is, if you want the other person to feel like you care,

and if you actually like them, just ask questions, just find out about that person. You already know everything that you have to say, and you know nothing that they're going to have to say. So one of the most selfish things, sorry, one of the most selfish things that you can do in a conversation is to be selfless. Robert L, simple one, are you ever star struck by the people you meet and if so, how do you deal with it? That's kind of quickly been worn down. I think I spoke about this last time. There's a friend of mine who didn't interview with a famous academic and before he started, this academic got up, went to the fridge and got a muller corner out. My friend watched this academic from across the room, peeled the lid off the yoghurt, look at it, and then lick the lid of the yoghurt. And at that moment,

he, his entire mystique, dispelled, and since then, every person that I've met has had a yoghurt lid moment for me too, which kind of dispells the mistake and it reminds you that there are a real person, which is also what the internet sort of dehumanizes because you never get to see that. So I've kind of rolled that out across everyone. I met Scott Alexander from Slate Star Codex, now Astral Codex 10, a couple of weeks ago. He's just a dude, you know? He's a guy that needs to tie his shoelaces and put his pants on and have a shave and stuff. He's just a dude. All of these people are just people.

So I don't know. It gets easier. Like exposure therapy. It gets easier. Himalaya Herb. Hey Chris, I subscribed to your channel when you were around 5K. You've been here for a long time. Glad to see how it's going up, congrats. What if you had kept the name Modern Wisdom? How many subs would you have?

I liked Modern Wisdom anyways. Good luck with the channel, you have a fantastic channel. Thank you. So yeah, the change was even less than a year ago now. We went from modern wisdom to Chris Williamson. I just had people arriving on the channel saying, this is really good, who the fuck is the host? There is no way that someone should be landing.

I've managed to get them from the annals of YouTube, finally to get them onto a podcast, and then I'm not know who I am. So personal accountability, which is an aval thing, plus the fact that I wanted to be able to have conversations that I wanted to do that weren't held to the trappings of whatever the podcast was. And if I want to do non-podcast content, like down the pipe monologue videos, is it going to be easy with my name and blah blah blah. So yeah, I think we actually lost subs for a month because a ton of people presumably went on the subscription feed and

were like, who the fuck is Chris Williamson? I'm not subscribed to him. And then unsubscribed, which was unfortunate, but then we kind of pick back up, which was good. Have you been to or said the word newfoundland? if so I bet 10,000 subscribers you didn't say it right. Also absolutely love the show and everything you're doing man. Newfoundland. I'm going to see Therese. Oh, this is a word. This is the word that you pronounce in a very different way to the way that it's spelled, which is stupid because it absolutely says, newfoundland. And I don't think that, like, those are three words that already exist. And I don't think newfoundlanders that you get to say how it's said, newfoundland is newfoundland. and I will fight any man that says

otherwise. KST, K Saint or K Street. Enjoy your newsletter. If fame was bestowed on those that earned it through something special, do you now look back on Love Island with contempt? Appreciate where you now is incredibly in comparison to where you were then possibly, love you man, Chris. Thank you. No, I don't look back on it with contempt. I do think that there are some concerns that I have around what it teaches young people about success, that the goal is basically to be plucked out of obscurity and given status, versus working hard consistently at something which adds value over a long period of time. I would much sooner love island and know

across an entire year and then be highlights of all of the things that those people had don't know whatever. But it's not like, again, we can't put this genie back in the bottle as soon as you're going to have obligation free status where people just get picked like one of those claw machines in an arcade and just like you, you get to go and be blue-taken and millions of followers in a brand deal with pretty little thing. That's not going to stop. I don't look back on it with contempt at all. I look back on, you know, I can't change that.

I look at sort of modern, current love island with a little bit of trepidation. And I think that we should be careful about what it teaches young people about success. How are the lads who would win in a fight between Johnny and Yusef? That's a very good question. I think just based on sheer size, you know, Johnny would be two or three weight categories above UCF. That being said, UCF does tricking flips and acrobatic kicks as a hobby. And Johnny is built for power not speed.

So if you could get him past the first couple of rounds and pretty confident, you've got him. However, if Johnny grabs a hold of him within that game over, Varic Storm Blessed, you sound like a character in a fantasy book. What things have you changed your opinion on in the last two years due to new information slash insight, the more political, the better?

Ah, dude, I really don't think about politics stuff that much. Here's a good insight as well, actually. Ben's pulled a bunch of questions out that were kind of repeats, but this is a pretty broad cross-section of all of this stuff, right? That people who listen to this channel are interested in. None of them have been about politics. None of them have been about fucking trans agenda or about the next new woke SJW that's trying to take over things. All it is is people that are interested in bettering themselves. So that makes me feel very, very good. However, Varic, one of the things that I would say is my distrust of governments and politicians at large.

I think it's very difficult for anybody that's been through the last couple of years with a skeptical eye to have come out of this with your trust of those intact. Pretty much everybody, even the people that are pro- the governmental and mainstream media lines on things, I think even they are doing it with a point in the back of their mind thinking, well, yeah, like, okay, I'm saying it, but maybe that's just because I agree with it, but I don't believe them, like, I just happen to fall in line with the thing that they're saying. So that distrust of that and distrust of the media, those are the two that I've really, really pivoted on. The abortion debate, I really do not, I can't find a firm place to stand.

Like both sides have very compelling arguments and I really struggle to find a firm place to stand with that. And I wish that I did have, I wish that I could just commit, commit to something with, with regards to it. But I find it a very difficult argument to, to get around. It feels like the empathetic position is both sides, very strange. But yeah, that would be it. Distrust of government, distrust of media, and a complete lack of knowledge about my position on abortion. Berto consalvi. What is the best piece of advice you would give another person that you do not follow yourself? That is awesome. Get off social media, probably. If you don't need

it for work, get off social media. I'm pretty sure that it's a net negative for almost everybody. And it's probably going to make you much more attractive to whoever it is that you're with or to perspective mates. Think about this, right? You go out for a date with a person, whoever it is, and you say, oh, could you, let's, you meet them in the gym or something. You go out for a date with them, pick your sex of choice that you're attracted to, and then when you're talking, you say, so what do you do and blah, blah, blah, and then before

you leave, so, oh, give me your Instagram so I can have a look. And they say, I don't, I don't have social media. And you go, what? Yeah, I don't have social media. I don't really see the appeal of it. I don't really like wasting my time. That person's cool as fuck. Whoever they are, that person's very, very cool

and very, very intriguing. So apart from the fact that I think it's a nice flex for dating, just get off social media, you don't need it, you do not need it, get your news from elsewhere. Steven Spurling, what gives you the most hope, the fact that we have democratized the ability for people to take control of their own lives, the fact that I know, based on myself and my friends and the people that I admire, that it is possible to take yourself from a place where you don't particularly like the person that you are, and you don't feel like you add a massive amount of value to a place where you really, really do. And that is one of the most inspiring stories that

I think that we can give people, and it's what most people are hoping for and searching for in the modern world and The more people that do that and open and break the fourth wall about their experience of doing it The more that other people are going to try and do it as well and there's far more mystique. You know if you have the whatever the perfect brand managed Existence where it's you're doing speaking stages at conventions and there's all this mystique around how how your process works and stuff like that. That's great and it works for some people you know like the whatever the Tony Robbins like people of the world. But and it also makes you more fallible, or it makes you more open to critique,

because people actually know stuff about your private life, or about your personal life. But the more that people are open about this, I think the better that it is, because that's genuinely what inspires people. It's very difficult to see yourself in Tony Robbins, right? Like, what's the line of that, or like a Justin Bieber or something like that? Justin Bieber's come up with a feather today.

However, Alex, or a Rogan, or whatever, someone where you can track that lineage seems like a more inspiring story. Simon Barol, which person now dead do you wish you could have interviewed on your podcast? That's a good question. So Johnny's got this answer to this where he wants to have his great grandparents at dinner, you know, you say pick five people alive, our dad to go for dinner with. And he would just pick a bunch of his grandparents and great-grandparents that he didn't get chance to meet until he was like, while he was a kid or they were dead before he was alive. I would really quite like to interview, I'd almost all of my grandparents, I haven't

been able to have a relationship with, so I would really love to speak to one of them. Because I think that you learn a lot from your own genes. You're going to learn far, far more about yourself from having a conversation with somebody who has like one-twenty-fifth of the genetics that are inside of you than Martin Luther King or something. So yeah, I would pick one of my grandparents. How do you navigate thinking about your mortality? Do you ever feel dread or fear in that regard from Robert Isaac? So not very much for me

Sometimes I do but not very much for me, but I certainly feel it for other people like my mom and my dad Again, you know, there's no one else around. It's not like I've got brothers or sisters that are going to be able to assist me when that happens. So I kind of fear being alone. When that happens, I'm not going to look forward to the experience of having to let go of the only two other living people that share my genetics, like that part of my family. So that's going to, that's something that I feel dread and fear in, for sure.

Gay Carl Drogo. Gay Carl Drogo, Carl, you win a username of the day. What advice would you give to the bottom of the barrel a 24-year-old neat in-sale who wants to get himself on track? So I had to learn what neat was. I only learned this a little while ago. That is not in education, employment, or training, I think. 24-year-old neat in sale who wants to get himself on track. Okay, so I would be tempted if you can to change as much about your environment and your routine as possible. And one of the easiest ways to do that would be to change your location. So if you can, if your country is twind with another country, or it has a workers permit that, let's

say, like part of the European Union or whatever, or in America, up sticks, go so I would try and work if you can to get as much money as you need to be able to go and move and just go someone new and try and reinvent yourself. Everybody remembers what it was like, or maybe this is just me, when you came back after the summer holidays and you were like, yeah, I'm gonna be this new person, I'm gonna have had all of these experiences and everyone's gonna forget about

like the old weird nerd that I was last year and then you try and reinvent yourself. The fresh slate that you get when you get to go someone new is a genuine thing. So I would be tempted to change location, change environment, change routine, change friend group, find people that I like the sort of person that you want to be. So if you want to be the sort of person that's into health and fitness, go to a gym, crossfit or any sort of group based class is amazing because it's a ready-made social group for you.

I would also be tempted if you can to try and start working at something to do with night life. Again, like I'm using a bit of availability bias here, but you will have a ready-made group of people who are all into the same things as you who will look after you on nights out, who will organize staff parties, who will get you into the rhythm of being social. So those are some ways that you can socially sort of hack your life.

You will gain friends simply by being around these situations. Nightlife, especially if you can work in it, even if it's as a barman, you know, working as a barman or a glass collector or something like that, easy, easy way to find new friends and to be forced into being social but it's still kind of on your terms training in a gym that has group classes in a community also amazing changing location and looking at changing your routine as well and that will come out of new location and new job. New job. How do you think how do you think how you started your career? Love Island nightclub appearances, etc. Has shaped yourself now whether that be with your career, your attitude to work, etc. So one of the things was I when I was

younger between 18 and 25, pretty much all I did was work. I was very much obsessed with working and being productive and the success of my business. And although a lot of the things that are useful at one stage of your career end up being the problems that you have to deal with later in your career. So I have to now learn to let go of that compulsion to work. I work a lot and I need to, I'm getting better at it, but work less. That being said, of the two of having to restart the engine or kickstart the engine for the first time at the age of 34, having never worked really, really, really hard before in my life versus having done it when I was in my 20s and habituated it, I'm very, very happy that that was something that

I did. So if I was in my 20s, I would find a working pattern, a cadence that is hard and that is effective because that is the thing that you're going to carry through for the rest of time. The job will change, the location will change, the position will change, the salary will change, the thing that won't change is your requirement to actually do some work and be able to work hard and to know that you've got limits that are way, way, way beyond what you need to do. If you need to do 3am finishes, seven nights in a row, you know that you've got it in the tank because you've done it before. And that's kind of like a superpower because most of the people don't have that.

Most of the people have never taken themselves to a place where they've had to get something in, they've had to do so much work that they can't believe that there's no way that they would be able to complete it and you know that you've got that capacity. That's a superpower, it's a real strength. So inculcating a hard work habit when I was young was very useful. That's one of the most important things. The rest of this stuff was kind of a bit surface level and didn't, hasn't stuck with me all that much. Some understandings of how marketing works and brand creation and getting people excited to kind of be a part of a thing and be a part of a movement and stuff like that. That's

kind of useful, I suppose, but the most important thing, I think, was the habitu waited work ethic. How long have we been going? It says an hour and 32 minutes. Wow. Okay. I'll do a couple more. I'll do a few more. If the goal is to be happy and fulfilled, being single should one just give up on relationships. No, the goal is to be happy, being single and not need a relationship. That the relationship is supposed to add to be happy, being single, and not need a relationship. The relationship is supposed to add to your life, not become your entire life. Jamie Bollum, 866, what would need to happen for you to look back in ten years' time and think that your 30s have been a success. Smart man, Jamie, it's a good question.

Taken right out of the playbook of me asking other people this awkward question. I think that a family would be one of them. I think that I would like to have a family by the end of my 30s and dog or dogs. And to be proud of the body of work that I've done, and to not have, there's this awesome quote from M&M that I put in my newsletter. Again, go to chriswolex.com to sign up to it. I'm not talking about it because it's shit. It's really, really good. The best free newsletter on the internet. Yeah, M&M was done in this interview

a little while ago and he was talking about the fact that he, well, is it there it is. In a 1999 interview, Eminem said, I ain't in this for the money, I'm in here for the respect. If I had a trillion dollars and I fell off, I'd be the most miserable person in the world. He grew up in poverty, yet favored status over money. That's a Rob Henderson drop.

And that's kind of something that I feel a little bit as well that I want to look back on a body of work that I'm proud of and that had an impact and that made people's lives better. And this isn't just me saying it because it's like the cool thing to say that is the most fulfilling part of doing any project, right, that you feel like you're leaving the world in a better place than when you arrived. And fuck man, like I can't think of anything else to do. But what else am I going to do with my time? I genuinely don't know what else it's going to be.

So hopefully by the end of my 30s, the world will be slightly less shit, like a nanometer less shit because of whatever work I've done. I still have, we cut this down and I've still got so many. I might do, I might do, I'm going to put a line here. I might do a 300k subscriber episode after the 350 just because of how many more questions there are. I'm not even halfway through the ones that we cut back.

So thank you to everyone, I'm gonna leave it there. Thank you to everyone that has tuned in and supported the channel. Like honestly, it's blown my mind the last 28 days and for all of my concerns around increased scrutiny and stuff like that, it's fantastic. Don't forget to sign up for the newsletter at chriswolex.com slash books, free list of everything that we talk

about. Big episodes coming up. If you know Jocka Willink, loot me in with him. If you want to send in requests and guest suggestions, chriswolex.com slash contact and video guide, assistant Ben will go through all of those. And in the meantime, and video guy assistant Ben will go through all of those. And in the meantime, cult members in the long grass, wearing a flowy white dress, dancing around a flagpole, we're here. Peace.

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