Modern Wisdom - #628 - Dr K Healthy Gamer - Why Are We All So Addicted To Our Screens?

Episode Date: May 15, 2023

Dr. Alok Kanojia (Dr. K) is a psychiatrist, Harvard Medical School instructor, co-founder of HealthyGamerGG, Twitch streamer and a YouTuber. Humans face a predicament that has never been seen in our h...istory, a massive overload in daily stimulation and information. The effect of constant exposure to social media, video games, and porn is not good, but thankfully there are a number of powerful ways to take back control of your attention. Expect to learn the correlation between video game usage and mental health, why our brains are uniquely addicted to looking at screens, whether dopamine fasting is actually legit, the problem with watching porn at a young age, how to combat screen addiction, why some people always feel like they have brain fog, how to find meaning in your life and much more... Sponsors: Get a Free Sample Pack of all LMNT Flavours with your first box at https://www.drinklmnt.com/modernwisdom (automatically applied at checkout) Get 20% discount & free shipping on your Lawnmower 4.0 at https://manscaped.com/modernwisdom (use code MODERNWISDOM) Get 15% discount on Craftd London’s jewellery at https://craftd.com/modernwisdom (use code MW15) Extra Stuff: Check out Dr K's website - https://www.healthygamer.gg/ Subscribe to Dr K's YouTube Channel - https://www.youtube.com/@HealthyGamerGG  Get my free Reading List of 100 books to read before you die → https://chriswillx.com/books/ To support me on Patreon (thank you): https://www.patreon.com/modernwisdom - Get in touch. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chriswillx Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/chriswillx YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/modernwisdompodcast Email: https://chriswillx.com/contact/  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello friends, welcome back to the show. My guest today is Dr. K, he's a psychiatrist, Harvard Medical School Instructor, co-founder of Healthy Gamer Gigi, Twitch Streamer, and a YouTuber. Humans face a predicament that has never been seen in our history, a massive overload in daily stimulation and information. The effect of constant exposure to social media, video games and porn is not good, but thankfully there are a number of powerful ways to take back control of your attention. Expect to learn the correlation between video game usage and mental health, why our brains are uniquely addicted to looking at screens, whether dopamine fasting is actually legit, the problem with watching porn at a young age, how to combat screen addiction, why some people always feel like they have brain fog, how to find meaning
Starting point is 00:00:49 in your life, and much more. Don't forget that you might be listening but not subscribed and that means that you're going to miss episodes when they go up if you want to support the show and if you want to make sure that you never miss episodes, just go to Spotify and press the follow button in the middle of the page or there's a plus in the top right hand corner on Apple podcasts. It really does help the show. It means that I get bigger and better guests every single week. And it makes me very happy indeed. So go and do it. I thank you. In other news, this episode is brought to you by Athletic Greens. You are not eating
Starting point is 00:01:23 and are fruit and vegetables in your diet and you know, and this is going to help. If you are looking to make an improvement to your nutrition, to make sure that you are covering those bases, getting your micronutrients in appropriately, this is a fantastic place to start. One scoop of Athletic Greens contains 75 vitamins, minerals, and whole food sourced ingredients, including a multivitamin, multi-mineral pre, and probiotic, green superfood blend and more that all work together to fill the nutritional gaps in your diet, in increases energy and focus aids with digestion and supports a healthy immune system all without the need to take multiple products or pills. I take this on the road with me every single
Starting point is 00:01:59 time that I'm traveling and it really does make a difference. When I stop taking it, I can definitely, definitely tell. Also, there is a 90 day money back guarantee. So if you're not sure about it, you can buy it and try it for 89 days. And if you don't like it, they'll give you your money back. Head to athleticgreens.com slash modern wisdom to get a year's free supply of it. Mnd, five free travel packs, that 90 day money back guarantee and more. That's athleticgreens.com slash Modern Wisdom. And in final news, this episode is brought to you by BetterHelp.
Starting point is 00:02:33 We all can need help at some point in our lives, whether it's because of stress at home or work or loneliness, it can be invaluable to know that there's someone professionally trained who can help us get through whatever we're facing. Over 2 million people have taken charge of their mental health with better helps online service, it removes all of the hassle and awkwardness that can be involved in finding a therapist and gives you some essential, simplified steps. Instead, there are broad range of experts available, categorized by their speciality or combination of specialities like addiction, social anxiety or relationships.
Starting point is 00:03:03 It's not a crisis line or self-help. It is a professional counseling service done securely over the internet and it is available for clients worldwide. You can log in to your account at any time and send a message to your counselor. You get timely and thoughtful responses plus you can schedule weekly video of phone sessions
Starting point is 00:03:18 so you don't even have to leave the house. Also, you can get 10% off your first month and there is a free quiz that can explain all of the different options BetterHelp has for you if you go to BetterHelp.com-modern-wisdom. That's better-h-e-l-p.com-slash-modern-wisdom to join over 2 million people who have taken charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional. But now, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Dr. K. It's been very requested. You are one of the most requested guests I've had on the show. It's really, really looking forward to this. I'm looking forward to it too. I love your podcast.
Starting point is 00:04:13 Love the, you know, blend of science and sort of like personal experience that you really put forward here. So huge fan. Thank you. What do you say when you meet somebody at a cocktail party and they say, what do you do? So, you know, my stock answer is actually like, I'm a physician by training or, or I say, I work in digital mental health. So I did your mental health. I imagine, I imagine that everybody knows what that is. Well, so that's the thing, right? It's like enough buzzwords to where it kind of like people don't usually ask questions after that. So I think it kind of depends on, okay, what am I really looking for? Like, do I want to talk about myself right now? Sometimes I'll just say, I'm a psychiatrist.
Starting point is 00:04:59 That's true. But you've updated yourself. You are a clinically trained psychiatrist who has brought himself into the 21st century. I guess you could say that. I think maybe the 21st century has brought me into it is maybe a better way to put it. But yeah, I think we're both kind of evolving together at the frontier. Yes. So you spend an awful lot of time working with gamers, people that use screens a lot in a variety of capacities, getting them to improve their mental health, getting them to better understand what it is that their motivations are why their brain
Starting point is 00:05:35 works the way that it does, challenges their facing, explanation to about mindfulness. From an outsider's perspective, what is it that most people don't understand about gamers and screens and mental health and the relationship of how that all works together? Yeah, so I think let's start actually with like screens and technology. So if we look at technology, technology tries to engage us, right? But if we look at which organ does technology interact with, primarily it interacts with the mind. And so what I think of what a lot of people don't understand is that our mind is being accessed or activated or triggered, basically constantly all day
Starting point is 00:06:18 every day in a way that we just haven't evolved to deal with. So if you sort of look at like the natural environment in which the human brain evolved, it's like a low stimulation environment. Like go for a walk somewhere, right? And that's actually the baseline that we grew up in, that we evolved in. And so all of this high stimulation is, is working on us in some way. And the thing about our, our, our minds is that if you really think about this principle of engagement, what does engagement mean? What are they engaging? They're engaging your mind. And as platforms get better and better at this, as video games get better and better at this, what we're starting to see is that like individuals are losing control of themselves. And they don't even realize that it's happening. All they really see is that like, this is not exactly what I want to be doing on a day-to-day basis. I have goals, I have aspirations, I have things
Starting point is 00:07:09 that I should be doing, but I can't seem to get away from a screen. Does something very ruthless about the fact that the more enjoyable and the better that screens and technology get at satisfying our desires, the more addicting they become, which means that although the felt present sense of how good it was may increase the after the fact remembered sense of how much it's starting to intrude on our lives and our other goals outside of the screens, the worse it gets, it's kind of this double-edged sword. Yeah, I mean, I think that captures it really well, Chris. So that too, if you want to kind of take a step back, like most technology, especially video games, are designed to be fun, right?
Starting point is 00:07:59 But the human brain's capacity to have fun, like, why do we have fun? So if you look at human beings and animals, we have fun. We engage in play and we engage in play to practice the skills that are useful for survival. And so what happens with video games is developers sort of figured out, okay, like here's a game like a role playing game, like an RPG. And you know what we can do to make it more fun? We can make a persistent universe with thousands of other players. And so what video games, what developers actually stumbled upon is like another sort of psychological
Starting point is 00:08:36 need, this need for community. And over time, exactly what you described as happening is that, is games become more and more fun? How do they become more fun? It's because developers figure out, okay, we can scratch like another psychological need. And so if you think about games like now, there's like appearance and cosmetics, right? So we all want to look good. And since it triggers that sense of fun, what that sort of means is activating that circuit, the circuit that we have to want to be respected, to want to look good, except now we can sort of satisfy it within a video game.
Starting point is 00:09:09 And what we're starting to see is that like, we can kind of satisfy some of these psychological needs in video games, although they're not like a complete satisfaction, but it's kind of enough. And so what's sort of happening is people are like starting to live their lives more and more like in the virtual world. And as they do that, they start to kind of get disconnected or fall behind in the real world. What are the mechanisms that screens are working on and is there any difference between the kind of triggers that video games are having compared with the triggers of other stuff like let's say social media.
Starting point is 00:09:44 games are having compared with the triggers of other stuff like, let's say, social media? Yeah, so I think they're very different. So I think if you look at why does someone get addicted to a particular thing as opposed to another thing? And there are even studies that sort of bear this out. Like so, for example, people on the autism spectrum are more likely to get addicted to role-playing games. And there's even data that shows that the more role-playing games you play if you're on the autism spectrum, the more likely you are to have behavioral meltdowns. So within video games,
Starting point is 00:10:13 we know that there's actually personality analysis like University of Toronto has done a lot of really good research here, where they've sort of figured out depending on your personality style, you're more likely to gravitate towards a particular game. And then once you move beyond games, if you start to think about social media,
Starting point is 00:10:29 people who are more sensitive to body image issues may gravitate towards platforms like Instagram and things like that. And so what we're starting to see is that everyone's brain is a little bit different. Everyone's brain is a little bit vulnerable. We all crave to have certain psychological needs fulfilled, and there are certain pieces of technology
Starting point is 00:10:49 which will sort of fulfill those in a very shallow, but kind of neuroscientifically important way. And those are the ones that we get addicted to. Can you remember any of the other associations between the type of games that you like to play and the kind of personality that you have? Oh, yeah. I mean, so like there's some people who like to explore things, right? So there are people who, if we kind of think about it this way, let's say you take four trips over four years.
Starting point is 00:11:16 Do you go back to the same place over and over and over again? Or do you like to check out new places, right? And there are different kinds of people. Some people are like, hey, I really liked that. You know, I love visiting the beach or like every time I go, I'm going to go to the beach, I'm going to go to the beach, I'm going to go to the beach. There's a new beach. And so some people are more exploratory. And so there are certain kinds of adventure games where you're kind of exploring open world stuff, they'll kind of get more into that. Other people are like optimizers. So you have these games like Factorio and things like that
Starting point is 00:11:46 where like people are really, they derive a lot of pleasure out of taking something that's at 70% and bumping it to 71, 75, 78, 80, 81. And these same people, by the way, like, you know, companies like Google and Netflix will pay hundreds of thousands of dollars to do that thing for their job. How can we optimize this particular widget on this particular app? So depending on what your mind is interested in or excited about,
Starting point is 00:12:12 some people also seek adrenaline, which is why they'll play games like first-person shooters like Fortnite. So different brains want different things, and that'll absolutely determine what kind of games you end up playing. What happens to your brain if you use video games excessively? So, it...in and not shall not good things, but I think a lot of people will wonder, you know, what is excessive. So this is where we have to understand that the reason games are fun are because they
Starting point is 00:12:42 fulfill particular psychological needs. They like scratch certain itches. And what the biggest problem that tends to happen, I know everyone talks about dopamine and we'll get to that in a second, but the biggest problem that we see is that once you start fulfilling needs in the game, then your brain sort of has this really tricky kind of situation because if you try to fulfill that need in the real world, it's going to be harder. What's an example?
Starting point is 00:13:08 So let's say I want to be number one. The problem is like in school, there's only one number one. But in a video game, and if you all have played video games, you'll sort of realize this, like when you come back from, let's say you're down and you're losing in a particular game, and then you come back and you win. There's this adrenaline rush and you love it. It's like one of the most exciting things in the world. And the problem is like getting that feeling
Starting point is 00:13:33 of being on the verge of losing and then coming back and winning, very hard to do in the real world. Incredibly difficult to do. And so these are all these kinds of experiences that we crave this sort of like, you know, heroes journey of like, the deck is stacked against you, but you're going to triumph. And this is what we love to see in our media, but like, we can't experience that in our
Starting point is 00:13:54 everyday life, right? Because I've got to study for calculus today. And there's no like triumph, like even if you sort of think about reward circuitry, and this is what game, game developers are really good at. So even if I get an A on the test, there's such a gap between taking the test and getting the grade back, that that behavior doesn't get reinforced.
Starting point is 00:14:13 Whereas what we know from Pavlovian conditioning is that the faster you give someone the reward, the more likely you are to, you know, in reinforced behavior. And people wonder like, why is it hard to study? It's because there's no reward that you experience. And so I'm sort of, I even forget what your original question was, but. I think that point's really smart that you each it now with the presentation for work,
Starting point is 00:14:37 with the studying for the exam, which is in a couple of weeks time. And then at some point down the line, that one module of that one particular course will finally contribute to the degree that you get in two and a half years, it'll get you the job raised that you need or the promotion that you want in a couple of years time. It may be a different company. So I think that's something that's very important. What I asked was, what happens to rain if you use video games excessively. You said, what you're doing basically is you can create a feedback loop of satisfaction in the virtual world, which is incredibly difficult to replicate in the real world.
Starting point is 00:15:13 I think that's what the point is. Yeah, and that's kind of, I think the core point is once you start using it excessively, it becomes harder and harder to engage in the real world. And that's what we see when it rises to the level of true addiction. And then there are all kinds of other like neuroscience-based effects that we kind of see. So we'll see, for example, alterations of dopamine reinforcement. So people who play a lot of video games will start to become a little bit more anhydonic, which means that their ability to experience pleasure sort of goes down. So if you play a bunch of video games, reading a book just won't keep your attention.
Starting point is 00:15:50 It becomes harder to like do sort of IRL stuff. Is that the some kind of dopamine set point or dopamine sensitivity that's been tuned down? Yeah. So that's probably what's happening. We don't, you know, we have a lot of inferential data on this, but no one is doing brain biopsies of video gamers and seeing how much dopamine is in the synaptic class.
Starting point is 00:16:13 But bottomize yourself, guys. Come on, this is science. But what we tend to see is all the clinical features. So if you work with a gaming addict, you'll see a lack of motivation. And motivation is primarily governed by dopamine and the nucleus accumbens. We'll see an hedonia, which is the inability to enjoy particular things. And then other things that we tend to see is that a lot of addiction is not actually due to dopamine sort of making things fun. So if you talk to gamers, and I
Starting point is 00:16:41 don't know if you've ever binge video games, but you know, people can play games. I certainly have for eight, 12 hours at a stretch. But if you ask that person, hour five, hour six, hour seven, are you having fun? They're not going to be having fun. If you watch them, they're not going to be like smiling and laughing and triumphant. In fact, quite the opposite what you're going to see is that they're tilting more, they're getting more frustrated, shorter- It's tilting. Tilting is when you basically get really, really angry and lose your focus in a video game. Okay.
Starting point is 00:17:12 So in competitive sports, people will like, if you lose a point or something, you'll go in, you'll be angry and then people will start to play poorly because you're not focused. It's like getting the yips in a normal sport, like baseball or whatever, the guy just can't hit. Yeah. He can like getting the yips in a normal spot like baseball or whatever, the guy just can't hit. Yeah, can't can't hit the right. Okay. So we have this scenario in which super normal stimuli have been able to create a overclocked environment for our brains to exist in.
Starting point is 00:17:39 We are unfit for purpose. We have an adaptive, we have a mismatch, an evolutionary mismatch, is it would be called that what we're able to enjoy virtually is difficult to deliver to us in the real world. That means that the more time that you spend online, the more and more unseductive and unattractive, I suppose, the real world looks. Now, some of this is physiological in terms of the adjustments that we've got with dopamine
Starting point is 00:18:10 sensitivity and stuff like that. But I imagine as well that a good chunk of it is just the story that you tell yourself about the kind of things that you can do, the capacities that you believe that you have, the habits that you've got, the routine that you're in. It's more than just physiologically what's happening. It's like, ex-astentially what it's doing to you. So given that that's what's happening with video games, video games, you know, created to be compelling, uh, I think people kind of understand that there's a degree of entertainment
Starting point is 00:18:36 there. Something that probably even more people have a problem with would be social media. Is there something different, different happening to the brain, to our compulsion with social media? Is it right to even say that social media is an addiction? Is it a compulsion? How do you pass all of this apart? Yeah, so I think social media is similar in some ways and different in other ways. I guess, no surprise, right? So if we once again, what's similar? So the most similar thing is that platforms are developing things that are more engaging.
Starting point is 00:19:07 It's just what they engage with varies depending on not only the specific type of game, but games versus social media. And even within social media, you'll see different kinds of engagement. So generally speaking, social media engages with a couple of things. The most important thing that social media engages with is emotional activation. So if you think about why does a human being switch from let's say Twitter to Reddit or Reddit to Twitter or Twitter to TikTok or Reddit to TikTok, what you tend to see is that if you're emotionally engaged, you're going to stay on. And if you get bored, that's when you switch. But what does boredom usually mean?
Starting point is 00:19:45 People may think it's dopamine, but it's not actually dopamine. Because a lot of people will use a lot of social media even though they feel really bad. In the best example of this is some people will like break up with their X, right? And then like late at night, you're feeling bad about yourself. And you start stalking your ex. That doesn't make you feel good. That's not dopamine. And then you see your ex out with someone else who's more attractive than you or maybe has a nicer car or something like that. And so a lot of people will actually, if you really tunnel down and there's research
Starting point is 00:20:15 into this that shows that what is the emotional experience of engaging in social media? It's not always positive. So if you really look at like what kind of social media crosses your your feed, it's stuff that's emotionally engaging We're hearing about war, we're hearing about climate change, we're hearing about something and some news organizations even like play into this right where like fear mongering is a thing and And so what we start to see is it's really emotional engagement that social media like really captures and so the people who are kind of vulnerable to being emotionally engaged will sort of get caught up in social media. Another thing that we tend to see is that the human identity and you kind of alluded to this existential point. So like social media allows us to create a virtual identity. And we can start to get reinforcement of like these years of millions of years of
Starting point is 00:21:05 evolutionary circuitry through the internet. So I want to be well respected in psychiatry or let's say in a society. So I became a psychiatrist or medical doctor. And then even then, as a medical doctor, like there were times in my life where I was kind of thinking about, well, like, is psychiatry like, is that being a real doctor? How will I feel if I say I'm a neurosurgeon, which my wife was like, you should be a neurosurgeon. And like, what does she care?
Starting point is 00:21:29 She wants to introduce her husband who's a neurosurgeon. And I was like, well, I've decided to do something close. It's in the same ballpark, but it's a little bit different. So we all crave the approval of other human beings. And now social media quantifies that, right? Do people like me? Like normally the human mind doesn't really know. Like there's no way to measure it, right?
Starting point is 00:21:50 You sort of feel it. But now I get 100 likes and someone else gets 200. And so what social media really does is captures a lot of that identity focused kind of people who are concerned about being something self-esteem. Now we have filters, which sort of fix the problem and make the problem worse, which is oftentimes what we see in social media.
Starting point is 00:22:10 So the more that I use filters, the better I feel about my presence on the internet, but each time I use a filter, I'm not accepting the way that I look in real life. And so it'll make the problem worse, which is why I think we see some of a lot of this extreme filter usage that almost doesn't, And so it'll make the problem worse, which is why I think we see a lot of this extreme filter usage that almost doesn't seem like it isn't real and people can kind of tell
Starting point is 00:22:32 why do people do that? I think it's because they kind of go down this rabbit hole. The comparison between are you having fun now and are you still using the technology now? It's so interesting because, I think about when I do get stuck to doom scrolling through something. And if I was to ask myself that question, after 15 minutes, probably, or 20 minutes
Starting point is 00:22:55 on any social media, I'm no longer having fun. I spoke to Heuberman about this and I thought this was a very interesting referment. I'd love to get your thoughts on this. He sees social media usage more as a compulsion than an addiction. In your opinion, is there a meaningful difference between the two? Do you believe that this is the case? Does it even matter whether it's the case or not? Well, I mean, what are you, how are you defining the word compulsion? He said that it was more like a compulsive action to pull the phone out to look at it and to scroll to cycle through all of the apps because I can't remember his definition
Starting point is 00:23:35 of addiction. I want to say it is continuing to use a stimulus long after the satisfactory nature of the stimulus has been completed, something like that. I'm going to guess that you'll know the definition that I'm using. Yeah, so let's talk, let's define things, okay? So let's start by defining what is an addiction. So the features of an addiction, first of all, is that it impairs function. So it causes you some kind of damage. And the problem with addictions is that there are solutions that fix a short-term problem, but damage things long-term. So if we look at a lot of features of addiction, like, let's say I'm addicted to opiates.
Starting point is 00:24:15 And what opiates do is they make me feel good temporarily, but they cause me problems because let's say I'm stressed about work, and I use an opiate or I use marijuana or something like that. My stress goes away, but it doesn't fix any of my problems. And if I, let's say, get high today and then I don't work on this project or whatever, like I've one less day to work on it. So an addiction is usually a behavior that we engage in that despite the damage that it does to us, we continue to engage in it. Now, why do we engage in addictions? Usually it's because they provide some kind of relief or reward.
Starting point is 00:24:52 And if we look at social media and video games, they're sort of very similar to addictions in the sense that they suppress negative emotional circuitry, which by the way is why it's more than dopamine. So even if you play a game for eight hours, let's say I'm ruining my life, and this is an experience that I had firsthand, right, was failing out of college. And like, how could I forget failing out of college? I could play video games.
Starting point is 00:25:15 So it's not even that the game is fun at eight or nine hours, but that suppression of the amygdala and the limbic system is like kind of there. So we know that a lot of what makes video games addictive is like the fact that they push problems away temporarily, which is very similar to all these other substances, like if I get drunk, right, I'm not worried about anything. So in that way, you know, that's what an addiction is.
Starting point is 00:25:40 Now, a compulsion, at least the technical term of like a clinical term, right? So if we're talking about obsessive compulsive disorder, in that way a compulsion is usually a behavior that we engage in that has some kind of effect on our cognition. So I have to do something to make me feel a particular way. And what I would say is there's absolutely like a habitual, that's maybe what I would use, there's absolutely a habitual or a conditioning aspect to technology usage, which they're very good at. And I don't know if you've ever had this experience, but this happens to me all the time where I will realize that I am not liking what I'm using
Starting point is 00:26:22 like a particular device for. And then what I'll do is close the app and then open it right up again. So we are absolutely being conditioned. But this is also where if you look at it, the circuitry is a little bit different. There's habit circuitry, there's dopamine reward circuitry, there's suppressing R and MIGDLA. And all of that stuff is active when it comes to technology usage. So I think it's all of like all of you are above.
Starting point is 00:26:46 Presumably, that's what makes it so powerful. The fact that you have all of these different networks all coming together into this perfect blend. Yeah, absolutely. And why is it coming together so, so profoundly? It's really interesting because there's like, there's almost this Darwinian slug match going on right now between platforms.
Starting point is 00:27:07 So if you look at TikTok versus YouTube shorts versus Instagram reels versus whatever Google is going to come up with at some point, I guess they've got YouTube shorts. So what are all these platforms doing? They're actually competing for your attention. The prize that they get is like your mind. And so like whether Google wins, TikTok wins, or Amazon wins, or whoever wins, the one guaranteed thing is that there's definitely going to be one loser. And that's actually you. You are going to lose control of your mind, which is exactly what happens. And even then, I don't think
Starting point is 00:27:41 the platforms are evil. I mean, maybe they are, but that hasn't been my experience. I think it's just, they have a product, right? And everyone wants their eyes on their product. And so what they're figuring out is how can I engage people by tapping into a different circuit of the brain? How can I help condition someone to use my app? So it's not just about dopamine, it's not just about emotional engagement, it's dopamine,
Starting point is 00:28:05 it's habit formation, all that kind of stuff. Even pings and notifications, they're good at that. Given that we are hopelessly outgunned up against billion dollar companies with machine learning algorithms, some of which are the most powerful ever designed in human history. And an entire team of software engineers behind every single button press. How can people set healthy boundaries around gaming and social media? So I think thankfully we've got a lot of good answers. So I think this is where prior to going to medical school, I spent seven years studying to become a monk.
Starting point is 00:28:41 And the cool thing is that like what the monks, if you look at sort of the Hindu and Buddhist traditions and like meditation and mindfulness, they really figured out like how the mind works. And in a different way from like the West. So in the West, we sort of looked at a thousand different minds and we sort of said, okay, if we average them all together, like what floats to the surface.
Starting point is 00:29:02 But in the East, they had sample sizes of one. So they're like, okay, how can I understand where my desires come from? How can I get control of my desires? A lot of that stuff is kind of baked in. And what I actually find is the most effective is starting with some of those principles. So understanding first of all that all of technology
Starting point is 00:29:21 really causes one problem, causes you to lose awareness. So anytime you get sucked in, and in fact, this is why we want to use technology, right? I want to go into a video game and I want to get sucked into the video game. I want to binge watch shows. So if you look at HBO and Netflix or whatever, right?
Starting point is 00:29:40 They really want us to binge watch and we love binge watching. So if you look at the common element to all these things, it's a loss of awareness. So the more that we can cultivate awareness of things, the better off we'll be. And there's good evidence from this from the world of psychiatry as well. So if you look at addiction psychiatry, what we find is that if you ask someone who relapses,
Starting point is 00:30:03 they'll say, yeah, I was sober for six months and then I don't know what happened. I just relapsed. But what you really discover and we sort of see this is that people who are vulnerable to addiction have a lack of awareness of their internal emotional state. And as emotional stressors rise and rise and rise, they like reach a particular threshold that causes them to relapse. So big part of what we do clinically when we work with people is just raising awareness. And so I'd say the first thing if you want to set up healthy boundaries, be aware of yourself. Why do you reach it for it in the first place? Like are there particular times of the day that you reach for it? Stuff like that. Is there an emotional state that you find yourself in that causes you to get your phone out or to open up social media on your laptop or to start watching Netflix or to start playing a video game?
Starting point is 00:30:50 Absolutely. So a simple example of this is like, if you think about 30 years ago, if I was trying to study, I would get distracted. Right, I wouldn't be able to focus on the textbook. And that's okay. I would get distracted for like a couple minutes. I'm sitting in a library. I don't go anywhere. I don't do anything. My mind wanders. I lose five minutes. I lose 10 minutes. And then I come back to the text.
Starting point is 00:31:11 I'm like, all right, time to get back to work. Now what happens is even a 30 second distraction, I'm studying, I pull out my phone and I click a button. And then my mind is sucked into this like, you know, pipeline of like attention grabbing grabbing behavior, and five minutes becomes three hours. And so even a, you know, 30-second attentional laps now costs me an hour of time. Okay. Does that mean, therefore, that we just need or the most robust solution to stop yourself from using computers and social
Starting point is 00:31:46 media is to go places where you don't have your phone and you don't have video games. Is that the most robust tactic? Well, so I mean, I think it's kind of like a lot of different things, right? So we, I think it's first of all cultivating more awareness of the present and how you feel and what your triggers are. And then at the other end, there are absolutely environmental aspects. So one thing that, you know, I'll tell people is that if you're trying to get work done, it's a good idea to silence your phone or even move it to the next room.
Starting point is 00:32:15 I'll tell people also, like, for example, if I'm working with patients who are having trouble with sleeping at night, to tell them, hey, keep your phone like at the opposite end of the room or even outside of your room. And then everyone's sort of asked me, like, keep your phone like at the opposite end of the room or even outside of your room. And then everyone's sort of asked me, like, but what if there's an emergency? What if I get a phone call in the middle of the night? And then I turn around and I ask them, how many times have you gotten a call in the last two years that someone has needed your help within five minutes?
Starting point is 00:32:39 And the answer is almost always zero unless I'm working with a doctor, in which case, we have pages still. I think they're absolutely conditioning things or environmental things that you can do using grayscale, being really aggressive with notifications, but also the physical location of your phone. This is the other thing that platform developers are really getting good at. If you think about biometrics, the thing about biometrics and face ideas that actually reduces the time to access your phone. So now, even like the three seconds that it used to take or two seconds to put in your code,
Starting point is 00:33:19 now you just have to pick it up and it knows it's even that friction has been removed. Yep, that's what they're doing, removing all the friction. Okay, so we have understanding your triggers, understanding the mental state that you get into the emotional state that you're in, whether it's been a hard day at work, whether this is some sort of coping mechanism because things are stressful or you're just tired or whatever, what are the precursors that happen
Starting point is 00:33:41 before you then descend into using technology in a way which after the event you reflect on and wish that you hadn't done. There are some environmental cues and factors that we can use distance being one of them in that you can't use a screen that you can't put your hands on or see. So keeping it away, sleeping with your phone outside of the bedroom. Is there anything else when it comes to good boundaries? What are the other longest levers? Yeah, so I think the other thing to consider is that, so we think about this as like a problem
Starting point is 00:34:10 that has a solution. We don't think about boundaries as skills that are built up, right? So if you think about like a muscle, like how do I lift more weight, I need to maybe do more weight lifting. And if you kind of think about how do I hold a boundary against a technology that is becoming more and more invasive, you get stronger at holding boundaries. So what I'll do is I'll also give people exercises and this largely comes from the meditative tradition. So you can like formally sit down and meditate, but there's a lot of exercises that you can develop based on the theory of meditation. My favorite thing to have people do is no more phones and bathrooms.
Starting point is 00:34:49 So, like, everyone takes their phone to the bathroom now. And if you just, like, think about it, like, if I, like, say that and people are listening to that, the instinctive reaction is going to be, like, oh my god, don't take that thing away. But, like, what are you going to lose? What am I going to do while I'm my God, don't take that thing away. But like, what are you gonna lose? What am I gonna do while I'm pooping, Dr. K? What do I? You're gonna do what human beings have done
Starting point is 00:35:09 for millions of years prior to the development of technology. Be with the poop, just be with it. So what's happened in our society as a whole is we have become intolerant to boredom. Yes. So if you wanna get control over every bit of technology in your life, you have to learn how to not fear boredom. Yes. So if you want to get control over every bit of technology in your life, you have to learn how to not fear boredom and give yourself small doses of boredom.
Starting point is 00:35:31 You know, don't take an audio book the next time you go for a walk or don't listen to music or something like that, right? And just start to like pick particular discrete things, don't watch things while you eat. So there are all kinds of things that you can sort of set kind of certain lines and then really practice those. And then your mind will literally become stronger. So your ability to restrain your attention and tolerate boredom will increase. Is that something that you see reflected neurologically, psychologically, is this something that actually shows up in the literature somehow?
Starting point is 00:36:05 Oh, absolutely. So one simple example in so many ways. Let's talk about literature in different ways. So the first thing is let's talk about let's say psychological literature. So we know that for example, people with ADHD have difficulty restraining their impulses and they tend to get highly distracted. So we know that meditation, for example, helps people with impulsivity and improving focus. That we kind of know. If you sort of think about it, what is the practice of meditation? It's like literally practicing focusing. On a neurological level, we know that there are brain coral lits with things like ADHD, like
Starting point is 00:36:46 frontal lobe dysfunction. So the frontal lobes are master control parts of the brain that they can sort of restrain and direct our attention. And so what happens when we do things like meditate or some of these practices is that we learn how to like, with strengthens our frontal lobes. And there's even data that shows that it strength and sort of the inhibitory circuits of the brain. So our frontal lobes can go and put the brakes on a particular impulse. And then even if we're talking about old, old, old literature, so we're talking about the Sanskrit literature from like 5,000 years ago, there's this one thing, there's this one principle
Starting point is 00:37:20 called ek datva abyas, which means focusing on one thing at a time. And thousands of years ago, they were like, hey, here's a technique to focus on just one thing at a time. And you can kind of practice just doing one thing at a time. And so there's a lot of scientific stuff from everywhere from clinical literature to basic science literature, to even like old stuff. A lot of the work that I've done, a lot of the conversations that I've had,
Starting point is 00:37:49 Adam Altar, who wrote Irresistible, one of the ladies who is a lead researcher in, I want to say, cybernetics, is that computer brain interfacing, stuff like that, but from a psychological side. Every single person I've spoken to about attention says people believe that they can multitask. First off, you can't. Secondly, what you think that you mean by multitasking isn't multitasking, it's parallel processing. And you definitely can't do that.
Starting point is 00:38:20 You can maybe task switch and lose a ton of focus whilst task switching, but you definitely can't parallel process. You can do one thing and lose a ton of focus while task switching, but you definitely can't pair a little process. You can do one thing that you're focused on. You can drive and talk, but you're not thinking about driving. You're passively driving. One of the things I've considered throughout this conversation so far is we've spoken about the fact that social media and video games are very compelling.
Starting point is 00:38:41 They cause people to be incredibly motivated to continue to do them, which can make the real world less attractive. One of the solutions to that, presumably, would be to take some of the principles of video games and move them into the real world, to gamify some of the things that you want yourself to do in the real world.
Starting point is 00:39:00 You may have read Hardwiring Happiness by Rick Hansen. I have it. Good book, very, very simple idea, which is that after you do something that you want to do more of, or that gives you in the real world a little trigger of happiness, you go for a walk, you complete a workout. Today, I managed to get my email inbox down to zero. I've got to inbox zero and it's been in three figures for months, for fucking ages. And we are tempted to immediately just go, right,
Starting point is 00:39:33 well, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, marinate in, wow, I did a thing. That was good. That was really good. I completed the workout. I went for the walk. I got up on time. I did the meditation. I got my morning routine. I got rid of 120 emails. That's nice. And then you can go about your day. So he comes from a neuroscience background, his argument, and he was the guy, I'm pretty sure, that kind of neurons that fight together, why together. So if you want to do more of a thing,
Starting point is 00:40:13 allow yourself to feel the reward from it. Yet, I notice it in myself, I finally complete a task, and it's kind of like relief, but it's almost like bitter relief. I'm like, right, thank God that's done. Now on to the next thing. You go, no, no, no, no, you've just earned this period
Starting point is 00:40:29 where you can sit and be all self-righteous and up on a high horse for at least a couple of minutes. So that's one tactic that I'm trying to use a lot more at the moment, which is allowing myself to kind of genuinely sit with a good experience and feel that for more than a nanosecond. Okay, how's that working out for you? I need to do it more, but it is good. I've certainly been able to make myself feel more pleasure in advance of completing something that I usually don't want to do.
Starting point is 00:41:06 So, let's say that I am going to go and do a hard workout or I'm going to go do Zon-Zon to cardio, right? It's the most boring thing in the world. I know that at the end of that I'm going to feel good and because I've spent a good bit of time sitting with that good feeling, it almost feels like I've started to bring that feeling before I begin to do it, that I associate the activity of doing something even though it sucks and it's kind of boring, because I know at the end of it it's going to be good.
Starting point is 00:41:34 I've managed to bring that feeling from the end to the start, which is reduce the activation energy to go and do the thing. Yeah, so I think it's really useful to try to do stuff like that. I think we see that a lot, for example, with like practice and gratitude, where a lot of people will skate over their wins and focus on their else. I think a big thing that people don't really realize is we're not wired to do that.
Starting point is 00:41:58 So if you kind of think about, you know, people who sit and relax after getting a W don't get to where you and I are Chris. The people who say, I got to inbox zero today, good job, what's next, that's what actually correlates with like material success. Right, and I see this a lot because I've worked with a lot of people who are like very high functioning, like entrepreneurs, like CEOs, people in finance and medicine and neurosurgeons and whatnot. It's the people who drive themselves relentlessly forward that actually correlates with a lot of success, which is where this whole sigma grind set kind of stuff comes from. It's about grinding, grinding, grinding, grinding, grinding.
Starting point is 00:42:42 That's also where we need to take a step back and really ask ourselves, what is our brain wired for? It's not wired for contentment, it's wired for survival. And so it's kind of interesting, right? Because you're working so hard to be able to enjoy something that you should do. And so it's kind of like you're in this relentless pursuit of like better, right? So like, okay, why do I need to exercise to be better? And now I'm not happy with being
Starting point is 00:43:10 better. So what do I need to do? I need to get better at being better. I need to learn how to be better. And so it's kind of bizarre, but sometimes I'll see this a lot of the really successful people I work with. It's like now even happiness is something that I need to grind towards. And I'm going to grind towards and I'm gonna read books and I'm gonna understand neuroscience But if you really kind of take a step back, it's actually a manifestation of the same thing You're gonna grind your your way to enlightenment People even use their rest and recovery days as part of their productivity. Oh, well, I'm gonna take I'm gonna take this day off because it means that tomorrow I can come back harder and I can work even harder
Starting point is 00:43:44 I'm gonna to take this day off because it means that tomorrow I can come back harder and I can work even harder. I'm going to fucking say that is not what a day off is supposed to be. A day off is not supposed to be part of your productivity system to allow you to come back to work harder. There's this really awesome example of this and someone emailed me and said that I got it right. I thought I got it wrong and this guy emailed who'd studied classics and told me that I got it right. I thought I got it wrong, and this guy emailed who'd studied classics and told me that I got it right. In ancient Greece, the ancient Greek word for work translated as not at leisure. So work was seen as an aberration.
Starting point is 00:44:12 It was something that you did when you weren't doing the leisure thing. Roll the clock forward now. Leisure is the thing that facilitates work. It's not even the thing that you do when you're not at work. It's the thing which allows you to do more work. It's not even the thing that you do when you're not at work, it's the thing which allows you to do more work. I think that that's, I would tend to agree, right? So I think that what we tend to find is like if we look at productivity, having your internal values, having even like a cognitive fingerprint that fits your
Starting point is 00:44:40 work, work, quote unquote, lifestyle is like a huge part of getting all of it. So when I even think a little bit about like my day, so one of the things that I found is that I tend to get bored easily. So rather than just seeing patients over in my office, like over and over and over again day after day, year after year, I do different stuff throughout the day. And so this doesn't feel like work for me, even though technically it's work. This is fun. And I think this is a big challenge that a lot of people face right now,
Starting point is 00:45:11 is they're struggling with this sort of idea of like, they think about work in leisure is like two different things. And then this is why we see burnout, because as you said, you know, leisure is what allows you to work. Great. But when you don't have that, then you can grind and grind and grind and you're gonna burn out.
Starting point is 00:45:29 And burnout is like an epidemic level, like levels right now, just in basically every field that we're talking about. Speaking of high performers, you've spoken to some of the world's biggest streamers, people like Pokemon and XQC and Asmengold, most critical, et cetera, et cetera, Ludwig as well.
Starting point is 00:45:50 What are some of the lessons that you've learned from speaking to people who are the most online, they've won being online, that are most online people on the planet. What have you learned from speaking to them? Wow, so a couple of different things. The first is it's not nearly as fun or easy as they make it look. So oftentimes, and I've worked with a lot of people. So, you know, was in Boston for a while and working with people out of startups and stuff out of MIT and Harvard and just really, really hard working people. I've worked with people at like Goldman Sachs and Google and whatnot. And like, there are a lot of people who work really hard. I don't think people really appreciate how hard
Starting point is 00:46:28 the people who are at the top are. And I don't think people really appreciate the balance of skills that's necessary to achieve that. So it's some amount of spontaneity and being able to have fun on command. So these are people who are in the business of friendship. And I think the biggest thing that people don't understand is the level of sacrifice it takes to get there.
Starting point is 00:46:52 So what we see is someone who's huge and recognized and has all these sponsorship deals and presumably has all this money and things like that. But the levels of sacrifice, because what they really have to do is sacrifice just about every dimension of their life. So what we sort of think about even when I compare them to bankers is like bankers get to go to work and have their professional relationships and they get to go home and
Starting point is 00:47:13 they get to have their friends. But what we really see with streamers is they sacrifice on every dimension. So your friends will invite you or not invite you depending on what the collab will get them. And then if you turn something, so like even friendship becomes a part of your job, like the other thing that I think people don't really appreciate is that the human brain is not designed to deal with criticism from millions of people. So if we think about like tribal structures, you know, if I grew up in a tribe of 300 people,
Starting point is 00:47:50 how often am I going to get criticized? And we have these different biases that people don't really think about, which is that even if 99 people tell me that they like me, if one person tells me that they don't like me, that's the thing that my mind is going to clue in on. So now you take these people who get millions of points of feedback. And their brain is literally designed and I've seen this as a streamer myself, where I can see tons of messages scrolling past,
Starting point is 00:48:18 faster than I can read them, but my brain can pick out the one thing that is actually damaging. It actually enters into my conscious thought, and this is where the brain is processing all kinds of information that we're not aware of. And so I think people don't really get how hard it is. And the beautiful thing is that the people who are successful, the ones who are able to find some kind of balance, otherwise you just can't sustain it,
Starting point is 00:48:44 and you're like, you'll burn out and then, it doesn't work. So they're amazing resilient individuals. It's almost like a battle of attrition in that way. Absolutely. And most people don't, can't make it to the finish line. It's like a marathon that never ends. There's a quote from Jason Pargan, one of my favorites,
Starting point is 00:49:02 that says, your heroes aren't gods, they're just regular people who probably got good at one thing by neglecting literally everything else. Yeah, I think that that's probably true. I think, but what I see at the highest levels of performance is that you usually have to be good at a lot of things and you can't neglect too much because it's going to come and catch up with you eventually. Absolutely. You're helpful catch up with you eventually. Absolutely. You're helpful catch up with you.
Starting point is 00:49:26 But that's, so there's a guy in the UK who is a weightlifting coach, sorry, a powerlifting coach. Can't get that wrong. And one of my friends started working with him. He works with people for free. He's this Sevant programmer, unbelievably smart. He's 78 or something sort of old guy and he gets unbelievable results for the athletes he works with.
Starting point is 00:49:48 He doesn't charge anybody, he's already made his money, he retires, he works with people on invite only and the programming is ruthlessly hard. What I realized was he was getting around about two to two and a half years of progress within one year of programming. But the reason that he was doing this was because he was absolutely battering his athletes into the ground. Now, what you end up with is a scenario where the athletes who end up surviving this,
Starting point is 00:50:12 who don't get injured, who don't get burned out, who don't get too tired, who don't lose passion, obviously are going to have made unbelievable progress because the programming's brutal, it's more volume, it's more frequent, it's higher weight, it's higher RPEs, and survivability bias or survivorship bias means that the only ones that do make it to the end, by virtue of the fact they've made it to the end, have unbelievable progress. What you don't get to see are the attrition rate. It's how many
Starting point is 00:50:41 people fell away. What's your churn? How many people got injured? How many people gave up on their passion? And this is a lens. I need to come up with a name for it. I need to meme this. This is a lens through which I see a lot of very difficult pursuits. But basically, it does come down to a battle of attrition. And if there is somebody that can out-suffer you, if there is someone for whom they can go seven days
Starting point is 00:51:06 without seeing sunlight, but you can only go half a day without seeing sunlight. In some regards, they have a competitive advantage. Yeah, so I'd express a little bit of pushback on that. So I think that's a commonly accepted view that the people who sacrifice the most get the most. But honestly, Chris, in my experience with lots of people and even myself, like so, you know, I did pretty well in medical school. I didn't study over two hours a day.
Starting point is 00:51:38 Like, I had caught, like I tried it for the first month where everyone else was like, you know, we're going to go to class and we're going gonna say the library 10 o'clock at night, 11 o'clock at night. And I was like, I just can't do that. So I studied two hours a day and I didn't find. And I think that there's this idea that being successful requires sacrifice. But I think there's a huge selection bias there.
Starting point is 00:52:02 Usually the people who are talking about the sacrifice they made to succeed or like there's a selection bias there. The people who are like, yeah, it was actually pretty easy for me, you know what I actually hear from them. And so there's something almost like psychological where I see that if you succeed and you made a sacrifice, it's very psychologically difficult to swallow
Starting point is 00:52:24 that you didn't need to make the sacrifice in the first place. So it's really interesting. There's like data behind this too. So the way that people value what they get correlates with the price that they pay. There's a study that was done. I don't remember exactly where I am slipping on the reference but people actually asked people who joined fraternities in university How good is your fraternity and what it what really interesting variable is that the more the fraternity Demains you the higher the value of the fraternity Even though by some objective measures like some people have really good connections, but one of the worst
Starting point is 00:53:02 fraternities on campus people were, this is the best fraternity. And what was their hazing process? They stripped them down naked, tied them all to trees, and then were urinated on by other people. And when you go through that sacrifice, you can't psychologically say, yeah, I didn't get anything for that. I just sacrificed a ton for nothing and I didn't need to. But really, the work that I do with people is all about,
Starting point is 00:53:27 hey, actually you don't need to sacrifice that much, build a healthy balance lifestyle, get yourself into the flow state more often, and you can actually achieve just as much by paying half the cost. With nowhere near as much suffering. Absolutely. This is a as much suffering. Absolutely. This is a really, really important insight.
Starting point is 00:53:47 I absolutely love it. I love the reframe. I love everything about this. I think as well, there is something around an incentive, or there is a disincentive for people to talk about things not being hard on the internet. First off, if it wasn't difficult, then that means that it's less of a costly signal to you.
Starting point is 00:54:04 So the achievement that you have is less impressive. Secondly, there is so much more criticism on the internet for you. If it doesn't look like you had to go through it, oh, easy for you to say, must be nice for you to say, because if somebody else does find it more difficult or can't have theory of mind to understand that it could be done just through more of a flow state or less grinding or whatever, that means that you're going to get criticized more. There's another lesson that I learned when I was on Rogan's show and I meamed it into Rogan's value difficulty conflation. Look at the car he's driving, look at the watch he's wearing, look at the girl he's with.
Starting point is 00:54:40 That's unattainable to many people, so it seems like it's valuable, but then you attained it and you realized, oh, this isn't valuable, this is just difficult to get. And there's a difference. There's a big difference. What's valuable is something that fulfills you intellectually, emotionally, spiritually, lovingly. Most smart people realize that there is value in stepping outside of the comfort, and on the other side of discomfort is something valuable. We're told that things are difficult to attain because if they weren't, we're told that worthwhile things are difficult to attain because if they weren't difficult to attain, they wouldn't be worthwhile. And this is how non-valuable, but difficult things get slipped into our desires without us noticing.
Starting point is 00:55:18 Attaining something worthwhile is often going to be difficult, but just because it's difficult doesn't mean it's worthwhile. Absolutely. And I think the other thing there is that you've got to also think about the audience, right? So what resonates with the audience? What resonates with the audience is, hey, if something is hard for me, and you tell me it's super difficult and you achieved,
Starting point is 00:55:40 that fits with my worldview, so I'm gonna watch you. Whereas if someone says, hey, this is pretty easy, this guy is taking stuff for granted, just like you said, I'm gonna click off onto something else. So there's absolutely a selection bias towards validating the difficult experiences that most people have.
Starting point is 00:56:00 I think the big irony is that oftentimes, and if you just think about something that you've struggled with yourself, oftentimes once you figure it out, it's actually pretty easy. But people kind of ignore that, and they just think that, oh, like, you know, it's kind of bizarre, but like, they just think, like, oh, this stuff is hard, but once you figure out, let's say, how to talk to girls, like, you just kind of know, and it's actually pretty easy. to talk to girls, like you're just kind of know and it's actually pretty easy. But if you-
Starting point is 00:56:24 This is- I suppose the current trend of Sigma Grindset, monk modes, suffering online as well plays into this. Absolutely. Right? Because people think like, what do people want? People want a guaranteed way to get to the top. They'll pay a sacrifice if you can guarantee success.
Starting point is 00:56:43 That's why it's like Sigma Grindset. You just sacrifice everything you've got and then you'll get to the top. They'll pay a sacrifice if you can guarantee success. And that's why it's like Sigma Grind said, you just sacrifice everything you've got and then you'll get to the top. This is the same as the dude that coaches people that look, you're either going to give up or you're going to succeed because the level of effort and discomfort that you're going through is inevitably going to bear fruit at some point in the future. However, the cost may be your sanity and health and longevity and well-being along the way. Yeah, I mean, so I like... That's a perspective, but I think honestly, like I love being a clinical doctor, because medicine teaches you some really hard lessons. And the top of which is you can fight really hard
Starting point is 00:57:26 and you can still lose. Like I've seen people die of cancer, I've seen people, you know, and that has not, like, this is the thing that I think a lot of people don't get is that sometimes people are just gonna lose. Like not everyone can succeed, not everyone can be a billionaire, not everyone, and you know, it's kind of bizarre,
Starting point is 00:57:44 but I think those people can absolutely be helped. They can absolutely move forward. But I think the sort of idea of like, you can either give up or you can succeed. But my question is, can you succeed in like 10% of the time if you do it smarter? How do you square the fact that even people that try incredibly hard will sometimes lose with not wanting to disempower people from, disincentivize people from trying hard and from starting things? Well, if I try hard and I'm going to lose, what's the point in even starting? Yeah, so my thought is, first of all, don't try hard.
Starting point is 00:58:25 Can you try easy? So if you really look at it, like most human beings who struggle with something, it's actually like a gap in understanding. And so like even in the ancient Hindu and Buddhist texts, they say that Avidya, which is ignorance, is the cause of suffering. Like if you just don't know how stuff works, right? So like I had a kid, one of my kids the other day tried to open a pill bottle
Starting point is 00:58:50 like for her gummy vitamins. And there's just a technique to open pill bottles. And she can try as hard as she wants to until she understands the technique. And once you have the technique, it becomes easy. And there's even stuff with things like studying and things like that where there's that, where there's a science of spaced repetition.
Starting point is 00:59:07 There's a science of concentration. There's a science of like health, right? If we take particular things and you facilitate your gut microbiome, it's like, it's crazy. I've had some patients who have had inflammatory bowel disease for like 15, 20 years. And no one has ever talked to them about like controlling their diet and supporting their gut microbiome. And they'll like do this stuff. So they went through like six months of treatment and then they're like, they're cured, right? They have no, no symptoms now. And so I think the biggest thing that that human beings really struggle with is not that like you need to try harder. And in fact, I think that's,
Starting point is 00:59:42 it's such a, if you really think about, I'm not trying to throw shade on anyone, but you either give up or you succeed, that can be a really toxic mentality. Because if you're doing things wrong, what is that person gonna tell you to do? Try harder. And if you're still doing it wrong, try harder, try harder at the right things.
Starting point is 01:00:00 Right, and I've seen this once again, I'm not trying to throw shade on anyone who's religious, but sometimes people are like, yeah, you didn't pray hard enough. That's the reason it's not working. And so you create a situation where it's like an un-falsifiable hypothesis that creates a value judgment on the person that, hey, if this isn't working, you gave up. You're a loser. There are quitters and there are doers, and you fall into one category. And the reason those things work is because it's really
Starting point is 01:00:32 validating, because that's how those people feel about themselves in the first place, which is why they're listening to a live coach. Because if they're happily married with like two kids and like, you know, I mean, maybe they're sort of into the success stuff and things like that, but like a lot of those people just don't listen, you know, because they're out too busy living their lives.
Starting point is 01:00:48 And so there's a lot of stuff going on here that we've just got to be careful about. And sometimes I mean, I'm not saying that this stuff is bad. We'll encourage people to work hard and don't give up and stuff like that. And sometimes you got to try. But I think there's like a differential diagnosis here where it's not that, you know, you didn't try hard enough is just one of the reasons why things may not be working out. Everfriend Aaron and every time that we're in the gym, he's very well trained in movement. And we were doing holding some Copenhagen plank, which for me absolutely wrecks, it wrecks my lower body, it wrecks my upper body.
Starting point is 01:01:21 And he shouted from the other side of the room, what would this be like if it was easier? That was his cue. His cue to me was because your tense and everything's hard and your sweating and it hurts and I'm breathing heavily and fuck, I hate this position and shit my adductors are so weak and you just shouted from the other side of the room, what would this be like if it was easier? And I think that's a cue in a question. Greg McEwan talks about it as well in his second book. Just what would it be like if it was easier? What would this challenge that you're facing be like if it was a little bit easier? I think that's a lovely cue.
Starting point is 01:01:54 And if you kind of think about, you know, like, wait, lifting right, what's the point of a spotter? How much help? How much energy does a spotter actually provide? When you're on that last rep, and you can't push it any higher, right? And the spotter just gives you like two fingers, just a tiny bit. And that's honestly what we've seen is that people don't need to try a whole lot harder. What they really need is usually a tiny bit of help.
Starting point is 01:02:18 I can't stop thinking about a video from Bro Science Life. You know, Don Mazzetti, he's like a comedian, does YouTube stuff. This channel's been around forever. And he's seen a little bit of a stuff. He did. He did a breakdown of all of the different gym archetypes. I can't stop seeing it. That he basically realized that Sigma Jim
Starting point is 01:02:36 Bros, he said, is Jim Emo, that Sigma males a Jim Emo? And I was like, oh my god, I can no longer and see that. And so coming back to what we spoke about before, we were talking about dopamine. What are your thoughts on dopamine fasting? Is there any evidence for this? So I think that there is some evidence for it. I think some of it is pretty good, but the amount of bad explanations out there are really, really high.
Starting point is 01:03:08 What's the landscape of dopamine fasting then? What's hot, what's not? Yes, so the first thing is like, okay, you can't fast from dopamine. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter, okay? So this is, and the other thing is like, people, I don't think people get this, but you know, Parkinson's disease is a deficiency of dopamine. It's the death of dopamine neurons in your substantial Niagara.
Starting point is 01:03:29 You couldn't move. You can't move if you're out of dopamine. So we don't want to get rid of dopamine. Dopamine's not bad. It does all kinds of stuff for us. It's a neurotransmitter. So a neurotransmitter is just a chemical signal. It's like a letter of the alphabet.
Starting point is 01:03:43 And people are like, we're gonna remove the letter D. And it's like, wait, hold on, that destroys a lot of things besides dopamine, right? So you can't really fast from dopamine, first of all. Secondly, I do think that there's a lot of good, healthy stuff that comes out of dopamine fast. So I think it's useful, right? So like taking a break from technology is good for you in all manners of ways. But the whole point about technology is you can't, I mean, I actually wonder about this.
Starting point is 01:04:13 There's some studies on naltrexone and stuff like that. But I don't think you can give someone a dopamine blocker and cure them of their addiction. You can do it a little bit. So there's some evidence that even naltrexone and some of these things that interfere with dopamine signaling can help with addictive behaviors, but it's not like a one-to-one. The other thing that I think people really need to understand is that technology affects all kinds of other circuits in your brain. The habit circuitry in the brain is governed just as much by the endocannabinoids as it is by dopamine.
Starting point is 01:04:43 I think that a lot of the science stuff is kind of crap. I think that if you implement some kind of dopamine restriction, which usually means technology, like I don't think people are sort of saying like you can't have dopamine, like stop laughing, right? And- Do you see the most extreme version of dopamine fasting
Starting point is 01:05:02 where you're not allowed to look at the people in the eyes. Right. So this is the people that here's your value difficulty. Conflation. Conflation again, right? Because hey, if it's harder, it has to work. And then you're also engendering so much placebo there because it's like, wow, I like did this really thing and I must be amazing now if I succeed in. But so I think a lot of the of the scientific stuff is sort of BS. And then the other thing to really remember about the science is most of the science is like extrapolated.
Starting point is 01:05:32 So it's, you know, like I said, no one's measuring dopamine concentrations in the synaptic cleft and the nucleus accumbens, like no one's doing that. Everyone's doing cross-sectional studies or observational studies. And so a lot of what I base my stuff on is clinical stuff, which is also not really if you think about it data, right? We work with real human beings. And the reason that we need clinicians is because you can do a scientific study about whatever you want, like you can do a cross-sectional study.
Starting point is 01:05:56 But when it translates over into like application with human beings, it becomes a lot more complicated. So generally speaking, I think that a lot of technology restriction for extended periods of time is probably really good for you. I think that there is probably a lot of principles of dopamine tolerance. And like we mentioned, an adonion stuff, I think the data behind that is pretty good. So I think the biggest thing that restricting yourself from technology does is probably does help you reset
Starting point is 01:06:27 that tolerance sum. And you know, mix bag about whether people go through withdrawal or not. So you know, some of it could be like more of a real neuroscience or physiologic withdrawal, but some of it may just be like, I'm used to not being bored in my tolerance for being bored is so low now because that doesn't happen,
Starting point is 01:06:47 right? We don't get bored anymore. Everywhere we go, we pack, you know, I remember seeing someone on an airplane who was on an international flight and they didn't bring anything. They just didn't bring anything. They were there for eight hours and just staring at the wall, which by the way, is a great exercise that people in our community do. We tell them just stare at a wall for an hour. It's one of the most powerful meditations that people in our community do. What are the outcomes that someone
Starting point is 01:07:14 that looks at a wall for an hour get? Man, it spans the whole range of things. Some people will like break down and cry. Some people will have catharsis. For some people, it'll be complete torture with no benefit. It's like a whole cries, some people will have catharsis. For some people, it'll be complete torture with no benefit. It's like a whole thing, right? But it's just learn to be bored.
Starting point is 01:07:31 You thought the running a marathon was hard to stare at this wall for an hour. Yeah, I mean, at least you've trained your muscles to run the marathon. Have you trained your mind to be bored for an hour? And the beautiful thing about that is once you can train your mind to tolerate boredom, you no longer fall into the pull of these things, right? Because then you don't
Starting point is 01:07:52 need to play a video game because boredom's okay. What have you learned about porn use amongst young men and how they feel about it? So I think porn use is one of the most misunderstood things from this image is my opinion, okay, from a clinical perspective, from a psychological perspective, from a neuroscience perspective. So, you know, we've done a lot of work with pornography usage, pornography addicts. So I think the first thing to understand, a lot of interesting stuff came out from our internal research. We're hopefully going to publish a paper on this within the next year or so, but hasn't really been formulated yet. So the first thing that's really interesting is that people who are addicted to pornography,
Starting point is 01:08:34 often times get exposed at a very, very young age. We're talking about first exposure to pornography like pre-pubescent, most of the time. Second thing is that pornography usage has nothing to do with sexual perversion. So a lot of people will think if someone is really, really addicted to pornography, they must be like really horny or like depraved in some way or things like that.
Starting point is 01:08:57 Generally speaking, my experience has been that pornography usage is really just a very powerful emotional coping mechanism. So pornography usage will suppress a lot of negative emotions, usage is really just a very powerful emotional coping mechanism. So pornography usage will suppress a lot of negative emotions. And if you talk to people who use pornography, especially in an addictive way, what leads to usage is like feeling bad about yourself. And this is the big problem with pornography usage, which is that once you
Starting point is 01:09:21 start to use it, it sort of engenders more shame and guilt. And in order to deal with the shame and guilt, you have to use it, it's sort of engenders more shame and guilt, and in order to deal with the shame and guilt, you have to use it again, right? And it's just the kind of thing where if you like, think about the societal stigma, if someone's like, yeah, you know, like, I grew up and I was addicted to alcohol, like, and now I'm sober for 20 years,
Starting point is 01:09:39 and it's like, good for you, man. And it's like, yeah, I'm a recovering pornography addict, and it's like, you know,, man. And it's like, yeah, I'm a recovering pornography addict. And it's like, you know, you're not gonna get the same, you know, if you're dating someone, and let's say you have a brother or sister, and they're like, yeah, I'm dating someone who's like, been sober for 10 years, like, cool, right? Like, that's probably good, like, not bad for your life.
Starting point is 01:09:57 I'm dating someone who's like, been addicted to pornography for 10 years, and they're, you know, like, there's a lot of stigma associated with a lot of shame associated with it. I think it's really about emotional regulation. This is really interesting. There's research that shows that, so it really has nothing to do with sex, basically, which is what's weird. I mean, it can have sexual consequences and stuff and create problems in relationships. But there's a research that did a multivariate regression analysis on people addicted to pornography, which means they looked at which variable
Starting point is 01:10:29 Associates the most with pornography usage and the number one variable was meaninglessness So the more meaningless your life is the more likely you are to be addicted to pornography and So what we've actually kind of found which is is really interesting, is when you work with people like that, helping them develop like purpose, helps them actually, like you have to have a reason to stop watching pornography. It's got to be like some kind of, you know, you have to go through that withdrawal for some great or good.
Starting point is 01:11:00 And so helping people find purpose is like one of the biggest things that apparently helps with pornography. What do you think it says that porn use doesn't seem to be actually that massive of a sexual trigger. It doesn't seem to be triggered all that much by it's triggered by things outside of sex in a way. It's triggered by
Starting point is 01:11:26 like circumstances, meaninglessness. Yeah, so I think it's, this comes down to the neurochemistry. So if we think about addictions, why do we get addicted to stuff because of the effect it has on our brain? And so if we think about from an evolutionary standpoint, there are a couple of different things that will suppress our negative emotions and will
Starting point is 01:11:46 also give us like a rush of like, let's say euphoric neurotransmitters. So orgasm is one of these things. So why does orgasm feel really good? Because it's required for the procreation of the species, right? So evolutionarily, when orgasm feels really good, we're going to have more sex. And that'll result in the continuation of the human race. The interesting thing is if you look at actually ancient yogic literature as well, they say that there's this state of bliss called samadhi, which is sort of the purpose of meditation.
Starting point is 01:12:20 And there are a couple of interesting ways that you can get temporary samadhi and orgasm is one of them. This also is like one of the reasons that thantric sex is a thing of interesting ways that you can get temporary samadhi and orgasm is one of them. So this also is like one of the reasons that thontric sex is a thing and things like that, which is maybe a conversation for a different day, maybe a conversation for today. But I think we've known for a long time, so why is pornography like this? Because orgasm has very specific activation within the brain. And so now if you kind of think about it, let's say I'm feeling worthless about myself, I'm not doing anything in life, I'm kind of like sitting around, not doing anything. I'm tired of feeling this way. What is a switch I can flick in my brain
Starting point is 01:12:52 that lets me forget everything, pushes my negative emotions away and actually gives me a spur of positive neurotransmitters, which I'm not sure exactly what happens when people orgasm in the brain. But, you know, and that's why pornography addiction exists. So it's not really about sex. That's so interesting that you have all of these different coping mechanisms whether it be binge eating, whether it be alcohol, whether it be cannabis,
Starting point is 01:13:19 social media, video games, porn. What we what we've done is social media, video games, porn. What we've done is increase the variety of ways that you can hide from your feelings. Absolutely. Pick your flavor of ice cream for today. What is it gonna be? Yeah, right. And there's, there are people have drugs of choice,
Starting point is 01:13:41 which maybe do some amount of genetic vulnerability, but if you really think about it, I think about pornography addiction is the closest to substance use, because if it's hard hitting effect, right? So if you think about getting high, there's discrete chemicals that enter into your brain and activates certain receptors,
Starting point is 01:14:00 whereas video games are a little bit more global, but pornography is really especially that arousal stuff and stuff like that Is a very targeted way to activate your brain in a particular way more closely resembles the substance Downstream from pornography use have you seen sexual dysfunction is this associated? Absolutely. So okay, so how is it that porn use isn't all that sexual and yet downstream from porn use you get sexual dysfunction? For a couple of different reasons. So first let's understand that sexual means multiple things within one person.
Starting point is 01:14:33 So there's a physical aspect to it. There's a neuroscientific aspect to it. There's a psychological aspect to it. So one thing that you tend to see is something that, you know, a term that I coined on stream one day, death grip syndrome, which is if you look at men, especially who masturbate when they use pornography, the physiologic stimulus for lack of a better term that men will use actually does not approximate the physiologic stimulus of intercourse. So to put it bluntly, I'm trying to avoid saying this, but not using lube and using your
Starting point is 01:15:13 death grip hand feels different from a vagina. Like that's just how it works. And so what happens is the body can acclimatize to this, right? That's like literally what happens. So you get used to, you need a particular kind of stimulus, you get conditioned to require a certain kind of stimulation to achieve climax. And so then sometimes what can happen
Starting point is 01:15:34 when people engage in sexual intercourse is that they can't get that kind of stimulus to achieve climax. They've detrained themselves from being stimulated by real physiological interaction with somebody else's body. Yeah, absolutely. Right. So they also have a very, very strong grip. Right. So mentally, and so there's interesting things because I've literally worked with patients where like the process of this is deconditioning. So we'll sort of say like, you know, loose grip, lot of loop. And that'll be frustrating for I'm serious. I'm not, I'm, you know, loose grip, lot of loop. And that'll be frustrated for, I'm serious. I'm not,
Starting point is 01:16:05 I'm, you know, I know it's funny, but like seriously, because you have to do that physiological deconditioning and you have to try to approximate, you know, things like that. And there's all kinds of stuff that you could do with your partner and things like that too. So you can fix this. Sometimes you'll see like a rectile dysfunction, just kind of straight up. And then there are also like neuroscience and psychological impacts, right? So sometimes people will have so much shame for pornography that there's, you know, they have difficulty performing, they feel so guilty.
Starting point is 01:16:35 There's all kinds of stuff like does your partner know that you use pornography and things like that. So that can lead to, you know, a difficulty with sort of forming and maintaining erections, which is different from reaching orgasm. So there's a whole physiologic chain of things going on. And so we'll definitely see that kind of stuff. And then in some cases, what you also tend to see is that
Starting point is 01:16:56 there's this principle called online drift on the internet where since the goal is emotional engagement, how does a platform keep you emotionally engaged? Do they do it by serving up more extreme content? If you look at your platform algorithms, if there are certain things that you search for, it'll serve you like tons of extreme stuff in that way. If you watch one cute cat video,
Starting point is 01:17:20 then you need to see cats doing cuter things to stay on the platform. Then cats are doing cuter stuff and cuter stuff and cuter stuff. We see this with pornography usage as well. There's a gradual movement towards hard core pornography use, because you require more stimulus to your eyes and ears and things like that to get that same level of arousal. If you require that really same level of arousal. And if you do that,
Starting point is 01:17:46 and if you require that really high level of stimulus, of, you know, just like more brighter, bigger, whatever. And then, way, if you have sexual relations with a regular human being, like the stimulus is just different. Yeah, if you're not able to recreate the zero gravity acrobatics that you've just seen on porn,
Starting point is 01:18:05 Mary Harrington calls that the law of fat entropy, which is whatever you start out wanking to will get progressively more intense over time. Beautiful. Yeah. It's her second law of pornodynamics, I think, actually. I really like the introduction of the framing in the story that you tell yourself around your porn use is massively contributing to what is going to happen out the other side of it. And I think that, again, what would this be like if it was easier? What would... There is a trend online at the moment that demonizes porn use, and it's because there is a non-zero number of people
Starting point is 01:18:45 for whom ponies is destructive and can't control it. That has been used to cover all of ponies as if you're using porn, this makes you susceptible to a whole suite of problems that are going to occur, even if you do have a healthy relationship with it, because there are a whole host of people that are able to use porn and have a healthy relationship with it, and at least not have dysfunction on the other side of it, whether it's healthy or not, maybe a little bit of a different discussion. But for the people who see their porn use as something which is worthy of shame, which is worthy of guilt, which is worthy of making them feel like less of a man, less of a appropriate partner.
Starting point is 01:19:27 I can guarantee that you are somebody who does have a problem with ponies. Ponies is not good for you. If that is the story that you tell yourself about your ponies, and it's so recursive and self-reinforcing, it's brutal. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I think that, you know, it's interesting because when
Starting point is 01:19:45 people sort of demonized porn use, I think I'm seeing this trend more and more where, if something, if I have a problem with something, our society is moving more and more towards that thing needs to go away, as opposed to I need to get better at handling it. And so the really scary cycle that I see is that the more that we remove things, the less tolerant we become, and then smaller and smaller things can set us off. Concept, great. Yeah. And it's really bizarre because it's literally the exact opposite of what we do in exposure therapy. Right. So when someone has a phobia, like we literally have a clinical intervention, which has been scientifically sort of like the standard of care for phobias, is exposure therapy,
Starting point is 01:20:33 which is, hey, this thing bothers you and we're going to expose you to a tiny, tiny amount of it until we can de-condition that physiologic response and then we're going to go up and then we're going to go up and we're going to go up until you can tolerate it. But on the flip side with, and I think it's okay to cancel some people. I'm not like against cancel culture, but I think it's important to understand what are the consequences of cancel culture and how can we sort of buffer against those? We needed to train ourselves to be able to handle difficult stuff a little bit better. I even saw a meta-analysis recently that offering trigger warnings actually increases anxiety and doesn't actually help people in any sort of way.
Starting point is 01:21:11 Yeah. Yeah. If you snowplow out of the way, anything that could be even mildly objectionable to people, what you do, you don't change the fact that people are going to find things offensive. What you do is you adjust the level at which their offense begins. People are going to find, and this is one of my great friends, Gwinder Bogle, he speaks about the fact that there is a community of people out there for whom finding racism in the world is their job. It is their job to go out there, whether this be due to status, due to speaking gigs and engagements, writing books. Their level of racism, the amount of racism that they find is going to stay constant. If racism decreases,
Starting point is 01:21:57 that means that they need to find more and more things to be racist. In order to maintain there is a supply and demand problem with regards to racism. And if the supply of racism decreases or the supply of anything decreases, offense, objectionable content, whatever it is, there are some people out there who are just going to adjust themselves down the whatever the price demand curve to find more and more things that. Yeah, and I think, you know, if you're on a crusade, let's say, and I think there's like a good reason to do that, right? Let's say that I'm against, you know,
Starting point is 01:22:31 I don't know, like sexual assault. And even if I make sexual assault 50% better, my work isn't done, right? Like, and so I think there are good reasons to do that sort of thing, but what kind of bothers me, and this is when I, like literally, when I work with patients and stuff, right, who have narcissistic or abusive parents or siblings or things like that. And we sort of talk a little bit about, okay, this person says these words,
Starting point is 01:22:53 right? But really the goal when I work with patients is how can you let their words no longer control you? That's like the point of therapy when someone has had an abusive parent, right? You get to, it's's not easy, but over time you can develop the resilience and fortitude to kind of acknowledge that, Hey, like even though this person is upset with me, they're upset with me, I don't have to take that in. Or I can learn how to set a boundary around it. I can draw a line. I can understand even in the best cases that my parent was abused, which is why they learn how to talk about this stuff. and I can have compassion towards them.
Starting point is 01:23:26 That's like literally what we try to do in therapy. And then on a macroscopic level, we're almost moving in the opposite direction, where we're sort of training ourselves to be like mentally less tolerant. And I'm not saying that that's the solution. Like I don't think we should, I think we should be mentally more tolerant,
Starting point is 01:23:42 but if people are doing bad things, we should absolutely hold them accountable. So someone is out there spewing racist BS. There should be consequences for that. And at the same time, I can enact those consequences without being mentally disturbed, which is a big part of what being a psychiatrist is. If someone assaults me, I can enact a consequence about them and still go home. I'm talking about in the scheme of work, right?
Starting point is 01:24:07 So if you're working in the emergency room, someone's high on cocaine and they like lash out at you, like sometimes psychiatric professionals get assaulted a lot, it work. And so we can still hold them accountable and change the system, things like that, but we don't have to be as upset about it. And there's actually training involved there. That's a perfect conception. Going back to one of the first things that he said, one of the best predictors for pathological porn use is the age at which you first become exposed to it.
Starting point is 01:24:38 Why? How does porn use impact a developing brain? What is it about this? Which direction is the arrow of causation going in? Yeah, so a couple of caveats about that. So that's like an observation we've made of people in our community. I don't know if there's actually research on that, but I wouldn't be surprised if there was. Yeah, that's true of all the other addictions. Okay. So we sort of know why. And so we know that when you have a developing brain, adding a substance to it makes us more vulnerable to it long-term.
Starting point is 01:25:06 So there's even studies that show that early marijuana usage leads, is more likely to lead to addictions of other kinds. And it's because when you use marijuana at a young age, it actually alters how your dopamine circuitry is formed and leaves you vulnerable to other addictions. So my guess is that pornography has some similar neuroscientific mechanism,
Starting point is 01:25:31 where something is going on, where even if you're, because these people are pre-pubescent usually when they're exposed, which means that they don't get aroused, like usually, right? So they don't even understand what they're seeing, which is the most common thing
Starting point is 01:25:45 when I talk to people who are addicted to pornography. Most common thing is I was like seven, and my 15 year old brother like showed me this thing, and him and his friends were watching it, and it was super cool. I didn't understand what was going on, but we do know that adding stuff to the developing brain, whether it's a particular kind of stimulus,
Starting point is 01:26:04 let's say like abuse appearance, right? So that's not a substance, or a substance alters its formation. And that those effects are, let's say not quite permanent, but sticky, and then requires some time to be rewired. And so probably it has something to do with the way that our dopamine circuitry, our emotional circuitry,
Starting point is 01:26:24 those things kind of get laid down. Well, that perfectly shows why porn use is at least in part not sexual, because you have this coping mechanism for an individual who is as yet not sexual. And that I think is the weirdest thing for pornography addiction is that like a lot of it honestly in my clinical experience is like not very sexual in nature. It's really about some weird emotional suppression, you know mentally checking out, getting that spur of relief. And that's also why you'll you'll see so much usage. It's not like people are they feel compulsions as opposed
Starting point is 01:27:03 to feeling horny. Yeah, then it's not a rouse for eight hours straight. Right. It's not like, you know, we're going to jerk off all day and it's going to be great. It's like, I feel terrible about myself. I don't know what to do. I feel a compulsion to watch the stuff do this thing for a while. If I get into a fight, I need to do it again. I'm procrastinating.
Starting point is 01:27:23 I wasted the whole day. I feel ashamed of myself because I've done this for the last four hours. I need to do it again. I'm procrastinating. I wasted the whole day. I feel ashamed of myself because I've done this for the last four hours. I need to do it again. That's honestly more of what it is. I think that taking it out of the realm of sex, which, you know, the world still has massive problems talking about openly. It's something that's kind of very shameful and guilt-ridden and private and all the rest of it. Taking it out of that and just saying, black man, for you, it's fapping for the girl that lives next door. It's binge eating for the guy that lives down the street. It's video games for the dude that lives next door to you.
Starting point is 01:27:57 It's marijuana, coping mechanisms all the way down. Yeah. I think that takes away a lot of the shame, which is pretty cool. One of the other considerations that I imagine must happen in awful lot is around bedtime routines, sleep, sleep hygiene, generally from your community. If you're talking about people that use screens in awful lot, people that use social media porn, video games, etc. Why is it that we get so motivated in the middle of the night instead of first thing in the morning? Why did nature decide that it was going to curse us
Starting point is 01:28:29 so that our brains can't shut off when we're about to go to sleep and yet when we want to wake up first thing in the morning our brains don't want to start. So I think there are a lot of different answers to this. I think a big part of it is that so big a big part of what we do if we look at the staring at a wall exercise, for example. So a lot of that real solid, positive motivation comes from within. And if we really look at our society, what's going on right now is we are being told what we want all the time. So we've lost touch with ourselves, right?
Starting point is 01:29:02 So like there's a notification, oh this game is coming out, there's this new moving coming out, there's a Super Mario movie, there's this movie, there's that movie, there's this kind of thing, and by the way, there's this kind of thing that you can do to be healthy, you should be healthy, you need to be healthy, you need to be more motivated, this is how you grind, this is how you be productive, be all of these things. And so what's happening in our society is we are gravitating towards stuff outside of us all the time. And the people are getting better and better at getting us getting us gravitated towards them, right?
Starting point is 01:29:34 So Oreo is figuring out, okay, what color can we put the package? How can we make it crinkly so that there's some kind of Pavlovian conditioning? Everyone's getting better at this. And so oftentimes if you kind of think aboutian conditioning. Everyone's getting better at this. So oftentimes, if you kind of think about it at night, a couple of things happen. The night is the only time you're with yourself.
Starting point is 01:29:52 And I guarantee you the people who are getting motivated are not sitting there doom scrolling on their phone until they pass out. They're usually sitting down quietly or something like that. What happens is you doom scroll, you doom scroll, you doom scroll, you get tired, you put the phone away, you put your head on the pillow, you don't fall asleep and then you start having all these ideas. So it's really the only time that in the shower, right? Cause we don't have, we don't have waterproof phones
Starting point is 01:30:18 perfectly yet. So that's why like all these profound thoughts happen in the shower. It's not like the shower is magical and has some neurochemical that you're inhaling that makes you more creative. It's the only time that you have with yourself. And there are studies that show that meditation improves creativity and things like that.
Starting point is 01:30:34 Why is that? It's because you're with yourself. That's one reason. There are a couple of other reasons though. I think that some people have a different circadian rhythm. And their creative time is really late at night. If you look at basically religions across the world, they sort of have this convergent evolution of mental work at like three to six in the morning. So depending on how late you stay up, you may actually be tapping into that what's in Sanskrit called brumma murta is also the time of
Starting point is 01:31:01 like matins. So there's like this window of time that based on circadian rhythm, where your mind is actually very, very active. And that's how I ended up studying two hours in med school. I just studied during Brahmamurta. I was like, hey, and everything just sinks in. It's like, are you getting up early or staying up late? So what, getting up early?
Starting point is 01:31:18 So I'd wake up at like 4 a.m. I do like yoga and meditation. I'd study for two hours and I'd go to class and then I'd finish class and I'm done for the day. It was great. So I think that you have to be a little bit careful about your circadian rhythm that just could be your time. But a lot of it is just that's the time
Starting point is 01:31:35 that you're with yourself. And so you gotta just spend more time with yourself, like you're a cool person. You don't need something else to entertain you. What about if people are constantly dealing with brain fog? This is something that a bunch of people that I've worked with over the years have complained about that throughout the day, their thoughts always feel a little bit muddled. I get the sense that this will probably correlate with people who are also sleeping quite poorly, who are also probably using phones late at night. But what is brain fog?
Starting point is 01:32:07 Have you ever looked at this clinically? Oh yeah, a ton. So we had a YouTube video about this that went really well. So I think the tricky thing about brain fog is, as a clinician, like we see it front line, and people don't really know what to do. So this is where so it's interesting. I mean, I guess at this point, I'm an expert in technology usage, but my actual historic expertise is an evidence-based complimenting alternative medicine. And so what we're really
Starting point is 01:32:38 seeing in brain fog, first of all, I think we have got to understand that your brain exists within a body. So, and we're seeing this more with like gut microbiome research and things like that. But for the longest time, at least in Eastern medicine, they didn't separate out mental health from other forms of thing. Like it's all one thing, right? Because the brain is connected to the body. So I think what we're also seeing a lot of brain fog is a symptom of long COVID. So that further demonstrates the kind of like immune autoimmune inflammation based results of brain fog. So I think that brain fog in my opinion
Starting point is 01:33:18 is really probably some kind of low level inflammation that is going on. So usually when I'm trying to help people with brain fog, it's kind of weird, but it's not much psychological stuff. Like, I don't think it's like problems with your emotions or psychotherapy. It's usually more physiologic stuff. So anti-inflammatory diet, even when it comes to stuff like sleep, I think a lot of people don't realize that, you know, especially if you use like marijuana or like edibles or CBD to help you sleep. It affects your REM cycles. It affects your sleep stage architecture and things like that. So a lot of times people will use things to fall asleep but don't really recognize or acknowledge that the quality of sleep that they're getting is
Starting point is 01:33:57 pretty low. I have a kind of a personal theory which I've implemented with a couple of patients which you know this is medical advice but I tried using, and when you talk to patients, you have to consent them appropriately and stuff, right? So I'll teach them a shear shassan, which is a headstand, which seems to help with everything else. So even potentially increasing blood flow to the brain could help. But I think really sort of focusing on anti-inflammatory measures, turmeric, things like that can really help people with brain fog. Do you know what's happening with brain fog? What is it? Like what's going on inside of the brain? So my guess is that there's just low levels of inflammation and or and that sort of correlates with immune activation within the brain.
Starting point is 01:34:43 And it could be coming from other places too. And the felt sense of that is slow thoughts, more infusion, less clarity, less precision, et cetera. Right, so if you look at it, the first thing that we sort of know if we review our neuroanatomy and stroke architecture is that we know that certain psychological and physiologic problems are focal.
Starting point is 01:35:06 So that's one part of the brain. But with brain fog, everything is messed up, a small to medium to even severe amount. So it's a global effect. So what kind of we're talking about global effects, the sources are probably going to be stuff like inflammation or hormones or things like that. Stuff that affects all of your brain. And so I think a lot of that stuff also with the COVID, it sort of suggests that there's some kind of ongoing immune reaction or even hopefully not damage, which I don't think we really see with COVID in the brain. You can get strokes and stuff, but that's more clotting stuff.
Starting point is 01:35:41 But you know, so I think it's probably low level of an inflammation is my best guess. One of my friends has just started working with a new glucose monitor company. And when you get your, always on glucose monitor and you put it on the back of your arm, it comes with, I think four muffins. So you get it delivered, you get glucose monitor and with your glucose monitor,
Starting point is 01:36:03 a four huge super sug, high calorie muffins. And on one of the days that you don't have anything to do in the morning, you have to wake up and immediately upon waking, you eat two of these muffins. And you track what's happening. Are you watching your glucose shoot up through the ceiling, but you're not allowed to train, you're not allowed to eat anything else, you can't exercise, you can't do stuff to try and get that off. And the lesson to learn, apparently from this, apart from the fact it's, how does your body respond to glucose, how quickly is it able to clear it whilst it's not training whilst it doesn't
Starting point is 01:36:36 have other things, etc., etc. Is also the felt sense of, this is what tons of sugar in your bloodstream feels like. And then for lunch, you have another muffin. So you've had two for breakfast, and then you have another one for lunch. And again, it's just one of the most interesting things. Beyond, this is how my body is able to metabolize glucose and get it out of the bloodstream and all this stuff that he learned. One of the other things was he had a number that he was able to now attach to his felt sense of what high blood sugar felt like. And everybody knows if you've had a huge binge one evening, you end up having a ton of
Starting point is 01:37:12 cookies or something else, and I can sometimes feel it in my joints. I can sometimes feel it. It's like throbbing. My entire body is throbbing because I'm just so fucking inflamed. And I wouldn't say that I'm hypersensitive to this, but everyone can push it. If you get a bag of harribotang fastics in front of you or something and you go,
Starting point is 01:37:31 I've just eaten 100 grams of sugar there. That's an awful lot. Yeah, I think something that people don't really appreciate is that we have symbiotic bacteria and the bacteria that grow in our gut, so a lot of people will like eat, we'll take probiotics every day, whereas I think it's science without understanding. So if we think about, okay, what determines the bacteria in your gut, it's what you feed it.
Starting point is 01:37:59 So some bacteria are able to digest complex carbohydrates, some bacteria are able to digest simple carbohydrates. Some bacteria are able to digest simple carbohydrates. The ones that we've sort of learned are friendly, which trigger less of an immune response or the bacteria that have been in our guts for thousands, tens of thousands millions of years. And those are the ones that eat like root vegetables. They help us digest those things.
Starting point is 01:38:20 And now what started to happen is we see all this, how does food cause inflammation? Like we know that fast food causes inflammation, sugar causes inflammation. It's because when we eat these kinds of foods, it selects for, we're fertilizing another kind of bacteria that normally doesn't belong there because like, twinky eating bacteria did not,
Starting point is 01:38:38 we're not symbiotic. So now our immune system is like, hey, this guy, this bacteria doesn't belong here, but those are the ones that we keep feeding. And so a lot of this inflammation that we're kind of seeing, I've seen a lot of stuff around gluten recently where there's a guy in Austin actually who uses the strain of gluten that's like 800 years old, doesn't trigger
Starting point is 01:38:56 celiac problems for people and things like that. No way. Yeah. And it's really interesting, right? So there's no scientific studies on it yet, but I think we're really starting to see that a lot of this stuff like diet and things like that, which is usually how we manage brain fog.
Starting point is 01:39:11 I myself had really bad brain fog off to COVID and went through this whole Ayurvedic regimen and was back to normal. And so it was, I think that we really inflammation oriented. You've mentioned a good bit today about good microbiome and the relationship between mood, body, general health, and what's going on, not just in terms of eating diet, but microbiome too. Let's say that somebody hasn't ever been introduced to the concept of microbiome and how
Starting point is 01:39:39 the food that they eat interacts with that. Where would you start somebody who says, I think that I might be suffering with some brain fog. I think that my energy levels should be a little bit improved. What would you eliminate first? What would you try and add in first? This is not medical advice. Yeah, so I think the first thing to understand is that if you're... So there are meta-analyses that have been done on diet. And basically, what we know is that all of the healthy diets share a couple of things. High amount of fiber, high amount of fruit, like fresh fruits and vegetables, a certain amount of protein, and then ideally, healthy carbohydrates.
Starting point is 01:40:19 Now, for any individual person, some combination of that may be better for you. So low-carb, intermittent fasting, whatever. But if you look at meta-analyses that compare all these things that different people are doing, that's kind of what it comes down to. So the first thing to understand about gut microbiome, if you've got brain fog or anything else, is that in order for your brain to function, it needs nutrients. The nutrients that you get are not just about what you eat, but about how you digest and how you metabolize.
Starting point is 01:40:54 So there are two bacteria, for example, if you look at people who have mood disorders. There are two bacteria that are low in people who have mood disorders. If you look at people who do not have mood disorders, there are two bacteria that are low in people who have mood disorders. If you look at people who do not have mood disorders, there are two bacteria that are high. So what do we know? So if I'm a medical doctor and if a patient comes to my office with depression, I can prescribe an SSRI, a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor, boost the level of serotonin in their brain, in their synoptic clad. Now, the cool thing is that where does our bodies serotonin come from? It's made from triptophan, which is created by a gut bacteria.
Starting point is 01:41:35 When we eat particular kinds of food, there's some gut bacteria that give us triptophan, serotonin precursors. And what I've found as a clinician is that when people follow the right diet recommendations, I can pull them off of their SSRI within a year. But when they don't follow the diet recommendations, they need to stay on the SSRI. This has just been clinical experience. So you really have to understand that if you want your brain and body to function correctly, you need to feed at the right kind of nutrients.
Starting point is 01:42:04 And it's not just the nutrients themselves. It's the fact that half of your nutrient processing comes from the bacteria in the gut. And so it's almost like you're creating a garden that is going to give your body nutrients. Even this, I cannot make this stuff up. There's a kind of bacteria called ruminococcus, which is associated with anxiety. I think it's inversely correlated. So people who have low levels of Ruminococcus have higher levels of anxiety. And they've even done stool transplants, which is like when you take poop from one human being and you put it in another human being, and it will improve mood disorders. I have a friend who lives here in Austin
Starting point is 01:42:48 who is a stool donor for that precise reason. So he had to go through three layers of qualification, rigorous testing, lifestyle, questionnaire, phone interview, tons of insights around tracking food and stool sampling and stuff. And he is now selling his poop. He is now a poop creator. You're your friend, shit's a gold. Literally, we mentioned this when we saw him. It's like, dude, you've managed to monetize the one thing that everybody could make a business out of.
Starting point is 01:43:24 Yeah, some high quality poop you got there. That's good. I've said it as well. Yeah. Do you do any for free? Can I get a makes-rate discount? Yeah, it's fascinating. Okay, so that's what's going on inside of us. Foods that people should be more aware of, foods that you've found in your clinical practice that people tend to be deficient in. Okay, so this is where we got to take a step back and understand digestion. So before I went to med school, I studied Eastern medicine for a few years and a couple of things that I took away from there, which I believe, and I think we're moving towards,
Starting point is 01:43:57 is there's not a food that is good for a condition. The people's digestion is different, people's absorption is different, and so certain foods work for certain people. So even when I'm working with patients with depression, if I'm trying to get them off of an SSRI, I will give them different diets depending on what their like constitution is and like what their gut microbiome is doing. So I think that this is where unfortunately, like I wish I could say eat these three things because that's what people do not know. They're like, okay, what are the three things that I need to eat? But if I got to be straight with you, that is the problem with population-based medicine.
Starting point is 01:44:33 So when people come up and they say, you should eat these three things, what do they do? They look at 10,000 people and they say, okay, on average, these three foods help 10,000 people. But if you really look at that, those three foods don't help a people. But if you really look at that, those three foods don't help a third. There's a massive variance in that, yeah. They help a little bit in the middle, and there's a third of people that they help a lot with. So if you look at population-based medicine,
Starting point is 01:44:56 if we sort of said, okay, what should you wear, we're gonna average together what everyone wears. So everyone, the right thing to wear is like a gray smock. Right, that's not how it works. So I think one of the biggest things, things that we really need to understand about recommendations, is that recommendations really should be personalized.
Starting point is 01:45:14 And that different people may need to eat different things. So if you've got an anxiety disorder, like you need more Ruminococcus or less, I'm forgetting if it's directly correlated or inversely correlated. And there are certain foods that Ruminococcus or less, I'm forgetting if it's directly correlated or inversely correlated. And there are certain foods that ruminococcus can be found in. But at the end of the day,
Starting point is 01:45:29 like everyone's looking for a, oh, just eat these three things, whereas I'd say, unfortunately, it's like, and this is why we sort of find the man analysis shows healthy fruits and vegetables, complex carbohydrates, and like, you know, low processed foods is the most important thing. Okay. Someone does that. Does that mean in your view then that it is important for people to
Starting point is 01:45:51 cycle through a bunch of different food, different foods, different diets based on those principles? So we have some things that are likely to be unchanging, that will be different flavors and versions and whatnot on top of that. Absolutely. So I think that just eating healthy doesn't work ideally for like half the population. So that's where you really need to learn and I think this is a topic of a whole other conversation.
Starting point is 01:46:16 But if you look at sort of the Ayurvedic system of diagnosis, the Chinese system of diagnosis, what they do is they'll diagnose you as having like a particular kind of constitution and there are certain foods that will balance out that constitution. And that's stuff that, you know, when I was struggling with brain fog, I went to the Ayurvedic doctor that I see and I was like, hey, I'm having this problem. It's a lot of... What are you? Are you a fire person? I am predominantly wind and secondarily fire. Hmm, interesting.
Starting point is 01:46:48 So I like to say that my mind is like the wind. So I blow really hard in one direction and then I change directions very easily. So I struggle with consistency, even if you all are like watching this. So I use my hands a lot when I move. The veins on the back of my hands are very visible. You guys like kind of see that. Um, and so there are other features like there's physiologic features and things like that that are kind of correlated with this stuff. One of my friends' wife's is one of my friends. My friend's wife, not one of my friend's wives,
Starting point is 01:47:16 is a ivedic teacher slash doctor. And it was the first time, six months ago, was the first time that I ever heard about the classification for people in that way. I found it absolutely fascinating. Yeah, it's a little bit unfortunate that I think the data behind IRVED is not the best. So there were some initial studies that show that it tightly correlates with genetic like alleles and things like that. But some of that research is, I think they want it to be true, but the scientific validity is not the best. Clinically, I use it myself, and I think y'all should talk to your doctor about it if you want to try stuff.
Starting point is 01:47:55 One of the other, I guess, common themes that we've spoken about today is purpose. You mentioned earlier on that it is a prophylactic against certain dysfunctions that people can encounter. Why is finding purpose so difficult in the modern world in your opinion? So I think it comes back to something that we talked about. Like so purpose really does come from within. So people can give you responsibilities, but then those become sheds. And the beautiful thing about purpose is that that's what makes doing hard things easy.
Starting point is 01:48:30 So everyone's out there trying to make everything easier. But if we can easily do the hard thing, then life becomes very easy. So if you kind of think about, okay, like I worked 20, you know, I'm up for 18 hours of a shift. I have six more hours to go. I want to go to sleep. I don't want to be here. Why do I keep doing it? I do it because I care about my patients. I do it because if I work a 24 hour shift, I get to see my kids more. So there's a three year old at home that like, unless I work 24 hours like we're not going to make you know either I work anyway so it is apparent you make sacrifices for a good reason. So purpose is what allows us to make sacrifices. And we're becoming a world that it's becoming harder and harder to make sacrifices in fact we want the opposite we don't even want to sacrifice and tolerate five minutes of boredom, boredom while we're taking a poop.
Starting point is 01:49:25 You know, I need that constant open-energy simulation. And so the more the less purpose we have in life, and if we think about, you know, people who are fighting today in Ukraine or like people who like, people who do difficult things have a reason for it. And so now what's happening in society is like people can't do hard stuff because like why do you wake up in the morning? There's like an existential nihilism like anti-work and wealth inequality and climate change like what's the point?
Starting point is 01:49:59 And so you can take as many supplements as you want to to boost your motivation, but if you don't have a reason to get up in the morning like There's something I learned as an addiction psychiatrist. You can't give someone a reason to quit. They have to want to quit themselves. You can't make someone sober. They have to want to do it. And so what makes purpose hard, I think it's because society externalizes our attention. So in nature, our attention is like halfway within us
Starting point is 01:50:21 and halfway directed towards the external. But now with notifications, with dopamine, with, with, you know, colors and everything being bright and stuff, we don't, we don't know what it is to be ourselves. We don't even know what we want. All we know about quote unquote, what we want is what we've been told to want. And I'll see this a lot because I'll advise people who want to go to med school. And I'll ask them, why do you want to go to med school?
Starting point is 01:50:45 And they give me some BS answer about helping people and they're like, I want to help people and it's like, why don't you go work in a soup kitchen? You have to go to school for four years for that. Help people today. They're like, uh, and then it's like, why do you want to go to med school? Like, I don't know. You want to do it for the prestige and the money and to make your parents proud. Let's be honest. And they're like, yeah. And then you can work from there, right? Okay, so like that's not going to
Starting point is 01:51:10 work, dude. You're going to burn out. So I think why it's hard to find purpose is literally this is more from a yogic perspective, but our attention is no longer directed internally. So we end up with as a life of sheds. And where does a shud come from? A shud comes from the outside. It comes from the expectation of other people. And then our purpose actually comes from within. And so the more that we spend, and the more our attention gets pulled into things outside of us, the more we lose sight of like what we want. Crowdsourcing your sense of self-worth to the world around you is a surefire way to be miserable.
Starting point is 01:51:46 Yeah, absolutely. And directionless. Okay, but we are inevitably intertwined with the world around us. We are going to be exposed to screens and expectations and societal norms and social media and what our parents wanted us to do and the way that we've dealt with past traumas and our fears of insufficiency and the fact that sigma grinds that gets lots of hashtag love on TikTok. How are we to silo ourselves or to separate ourselves out so that we can actually find our desires, find our wants? So there's a interesting exercise exercise that I'll give people if you're trying to find your purpose in life You need to reach the end of thought So if we look at where thoughts come from So thoughts come from two places the Indrias which are the sense organs and the memory of Indrias or Indri experiences So if you kind of think about okay, like if want a hamburger, what causes me to want a hamburger?
Starting point is 01:52:46 I'm walking down the street, I smell a hamburger cooking, then I start to think about hamburgers. So thoughts usually come from the outside. So I want to see this movie, I want to play this video game, I want to watch this show, thousand years ago, did people want to play that video game? Of course not, they never had a single thought about it. Why do we think about it?
Starting point is 01:53:04 Because we get bombarded from our sensory organs. Advertisers figured this out too. The yogis figured it out. Advertisers figured it out. Brand awareness. So if you want to find your purpose, but the thing is that stuff will continue bombarding you as long as you keep on inputting it into your senses.
Starting point is 01:53:23 So this is where a simple exercise is to reach the end of thought. So if you go for a walk, your mind will have lots of thoughts. You'll think about your calendar, you'll think about this, I wanna do this. But then as long as you don't feed your mind, it'll run out of those thoughts.
Starting point is 01:53:37 Then you'll have this period of boredom. And boredom, by the way, is your mind's way of trying to trick you into getting dopamine. It's like we're starving here. Give us something. And so it bludges you and bullies you into giving it more dopamine. We see this with like binge eating and stuff too. It's going to make you feel terrible because your brain has figured out
Starting point is 01:53:59 if I make this person feel terrible, they'll eat something. So you just have to reach the end of thought. And you just keep walking until the thoughts are run out. And then sit down, hopefully on a park bench, and then just ask yourself, what do I want to do? Ask yourself. And then if all the thoughts are gone, you'll start to get something floating from the surface.
Starting point is 01:54:21 And the more that you do this kind of exercise and meditation is a shortcut to kind of do this, by the service. And the more that you do this kind of exercise and meditation is a shortcut to kind of do this, by the way. I think the more you'll discover your purpose because you can't get it, as you said, from crowdsourcing, especially internet and Google ads and cookies and stuff like that, because it's not even crowdsourcing with your best interests at heart. Trying to separate ourselves out from just how intertwined we are with everybody else, how intertwined everybody else is with us, isn't incredibly difficult feat and one of my favorite blog posts of all time is what do you want to want by Kyle Eschenroder and it's precisely about this question that you're asking
Starting point is 01:55:00 here and he has this bit where he says if we don't step into our wants and learn to program our desires, then the best that we can hope for is to become a rich or famous slave, the cleverest rat in the room, basically, allowing the entire world to tell us what it is that we're supposed to want. Asking yourself, what do you want to want is such an unbelievably powerful question. Not what you want, because what you want is informed by all of those things. Societal norms, past traumas, parental expectations, blah, blah. What do you want to want? What do you want to want in life?
Starting point is 01:55:39 When I work with people, once again, when we work with a lot of these high performing people, they have a lot of these high performing people, right? They have a lot of wants, but I'll ask them where did that want come from? And or why do you want that? And I think you know, when you start to really ask that question, that's when you really discover, oh, I actually don't want this. Like why do you want that? I want this to make my parents happy. I want this to be respected. I want this because I don't feel good about the person that I am on the inside. So if I accomplish this thing, it'll be like an antidote to my low self esteem or my doubt or my desire to prove yourself. Like prove yourself. What is it? Prove you're you. You're always going to be you. You've
Starting point is 01:56:22 always been you. There's nothing to prove. Dude, I love your work. I absolutely adore this blend of modern, western, ancient, eastern. I think you're an incredibly impressive individual. I think that the work that you're doing is very much needed. I wish that there was 10 of you out there or 100 perhaps, but for now, we're just going to have to do with one, I think. Chris likewise, I'm amazed by your encyclopedic knowledge of just all these different things and being able to pull from all kinds of stuff. And I don't think we need 10 of us.
Starting point is 01:56:55 I think one of us is enough. And I think what we probably need is nine other people who have what they bring to the table. Right, you have what you bring to the table. I have what I bring to the table. We don't need what you bring to the table. I have what I bring to the table. We don't need more of me. Like, no, we're gonna get maybe if we, maybe if we doubled the subscribing them, maybe that would be good. Maybe, but I think that there's probably nine other people who are listening to this podcast at some point, who are going to be the people that come after. I agree. We're going to
Starting point is 01:57:20 be grown up in your community and maybe they go pursue a PhD or something like that. And I appreciate the positive sentiment. I really appreciate the feedback. You've nailed it, dude. You've really, really nailed it. I very, very much appreciate the intersection of everything that you do. If someone that's listening has been blown away by what they've learned today, where should they go to keep up to date with the stuff that you do to find out more to take some of your courses? Yeah, so www.healthygamer.gg is like our core website, but I think a lot of people usually watch our YouTube content. So HealthyGamer.gg is our primary YouTube channel. We also have a Discord server where we help people practice skills that have socially atrophied in the digital age.
Starting point is 01:58:02 Like, on Valentine's Day, we had this, we had 300 people practicing how to ask each other out. And as you mentioned before, Chris, we were just talking about this. I forgot exactly what you said, but I thought it was brilliant if you wanna just. Yes, the opportunity if we have VR in future to be able to create a sandbox game,
Starting point is 01:58:23 I suppose, that correctly programs in somebody else's preferences, a guy or a girl's preferences, and allows you to be able to practice chatting up and AI bot that would be able to understand flirting and banter and humor and maybe even body language and that went too far. And you know, this would be great for all sides as well, because you would be able to hopefully train men to be safer with women, not only safer, but more charismatic and more humorous. There is no, apart from if anybody has to ever
Starting point is 01:58:59 review the game tape of all of these poor people failing forward with their terrible punch, like chat up lines, there is no loser. There is no loser unless you believe that the AI's got consciousness in which case, maybe the AI does a little bit, but even that would be great a good. Absolutely, and I think that's kind of what we're sort of
Starting point is 01:59:16 devoted to, not necessarily AI, but what we really try to do is help the digital generation understand their mind better, and how can we equip you to understand this thing called your mind and sometimes that involves helping your body and things like that, but to really face the challenges
Starting point is 01:59:33 that people face in a digital world. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I'm very, very. Thank you very much for tuning in. So, so good. Dr. K is an absolute beast. I really, really love his YouTube channel. I think the advice that he gives is great. I love the fact that he is a positive voice. He's not just complaining about the problems of the world. He's offering genuine forward thinking individual agency assisting solutions.
Starting point is 02:00:05 Very, very cool. I hope that you took tons away from that episode. And I'll see you next time.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.