Modern Wisdom - #953 - Jimmy Carr - Decoding The Secrets Of A Meaningful Life

Episode Date: June 12, 2025

Jimmy Carr is a comedian, television host and an author. Having made his career out of cutting jokes and brutal roasts, today Jimmy Carr reveals a more introspective side. Jimmy opens up about his favorite parts of life, the best bits of his show, and the wisdom he's picked up along the way. Expect to learn why Jimmy is such a fan of the show, and how his thinking has been influenced but the MW podcast ecosystem, how to know what you should be doing with your life, ways to overcome anxiety and dealing with the balance of meaning and pleasure, what life is like on the road for Jimmy, how Jimmy has learned to enjoy his time better, and where he finds gratitude, how fatherhood changed Jimmy for the better, how to become someone worth becoming, and much more… Sponsors: See discounts for all the products I use and recommend: https://chriswillx.com/deals Get a Free Sample Pack of LMNT’s most popular Flavours with your first purchase at https://drinklmnt.com/modernwisdom Get 35% off your first subscription on the best supplements from Momentous at https://livemomentous.com/modernwisdom Get a 20% discount on Nomatic’s amazing luggage at https://nomatic.com/modernwisdom Get the best bloodwork analysis in America at https://functionhealth.com/modernwisdom Extra Stuff: See Jimmy live at www.jimmycarr.com Get my free reading list of 100 books to read before you die: https://chriswillx.com/books Try my productivity energy drink Neutonic: https://neutonic.com/modernwisdom Episodes You Might Enjoy: #577 - David Goggins - This Is How To Master Your Life: https://tinyurl.com/43hv6y59 #712 - Dr Jordan Peterson - How To Destroy Your Negative Beliefs: https://tinyurl.com/2rtz7avf #700 - Dr Andrew Huberman - The Secret Tools To Hack Your Brain: https://tinyurl.com/3ccn5vkp - Get In Touch: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chriswillx Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/chriswillx YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/modernwisdompodcast Email: https://chriswillx.com/contact - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a big deal for me because I listen to the show so much. I absolutely love it. I slightly could fanboy about the whole thing. I really love, I love what you do. I love this show. I'm nervous about it because I kind of go, well, normally it's an expert for something to say. And I'm like, oh, I've got dick jokes if you need them. Will that do?

Why are you such a fan of it? I don't know. I think the breadth of the subject matter. And I think that thing of going, it's in a, there's a lot of, it's that signal and noise. There's a lot of noise out there. And I love the idea that I listened to this show and even stuff that I'm, oh, maybe I wouldn't read that book, but I'm interested in listening to them for an hour and a half or two hours.

And then oftentimes is something where someone says something and you go, wow, that's brilliant. I've got to go and look at their channel or I'm going to go and find something. So I'm using it almost kind of as a, your research as a resource for me. And I think a lot of people talk about diet and exercise and they talk about how it makes them feel and they're eating right and they're staying away from processed exercise and they talk about how it makes them feel and they're eating right and they're staying away from processed foods and they look fantastic. And then you ask them what they're watching and they go, yeah, I'm watching Love Island but like the old series and I'm smashing through it.

And I don't know if you're aware of Love Island, but it's for terrible people doing terrible things. I mean, the idea that you go that information diet is such an important thing. I think you said it here, where you're sort of a, if you tell someone the last five podcasts they listen to, it's a pretty good read on who they are and what they want to do. I love, the other thing I love about this show is I think it's got, it's aiming up. Everything seems to be like the way that you conduct interviews and the way that you engage with people.

It seems to be you're trying to bring the best out of them, which I like anyway. It's very positive to listen to. But it's also like everyone you have on is trying to make your life better. It's very well intentioned as a show. I think it's terrific. And the transformation in you, I think, has been sort of extraordinary. The journey to this is just kind of amazing. When I see you, I mean, I genuinely got quite emotional with the Naval Ravikant thing.

Because I knew what that meant to you. And as someone who's a big fan of podcasts and a big fan of, suppose modern wisdom in the broader sense as well, but someone like Naval who's done maybe five or six podcasts ever and one incredible burst of wisdom on Twitter, you go, it's Slim Pickings, if you're a fan, he's the JD Salinger

of the podcast world. And then you get him on the show. And it's like, I felt like that was the, is that your Mount Rushmore completed? One more Rogan. So it was a Mount Rushmore, but then I realized there was five. So it's more like Thanos's glove with the different infinity stones. So it was before I started, uh, Rogan, Jordan Peterson, Sam Harris, Alain de Botton and Naval Ravicant. That was before I started the show. Those are the five I wanted and I've got four. And after the last episode with Rogan, I woke up the next day as you have today

with still the anxiety of, well, you know, I didn't put my foot in my mouth too many times and so on and so forth. And, uh, he texted me and was like, love the show yesterday, man. Like always a pleasure to sit down. By the way, we still need to get a bucket date and bring me on the show. Him on, so he's self-invited. So I was like, Joe, give over, you know, I've got so many other people to speak to. Um, but yeah, there's a, there's definitely a little bit of a sense of like gold

medalist syndrome, uh, where I think, fuck, like, what do you do when you've completed the things that you said that you were here to do? And I imagine that that must be the same in your industry as well. You know, when, when I can start selling out theaters, when I can start selling out arenas, when I can start selling out stadium, when I get the Amazon prime deal, when I, well, we've got to run it back to season two. I've got to ensure that it wasn't a fluke. I've got to do it twice.

That's the problem. Is it not Morgan Housel? Uh, the, the, the genius that is Morgan Housel that said it's that like success is not moving the goalposts. It's that thing. If you constantly like that, that, uh, uh, hedonic treadmill of like, as soon as something good happens, you go, yeah, but what about the next thing?

And yeah, I said it was that amount of money, but now it's this amount of money. And I think the most ambitions should be internal. You should be heading for a feeling. And if it's process driven, because kind of success is a moment. Even if you get the big thing, whatever it is, and there's lots of those markers along the way. And I've kind of tried to think about celebration in a different way. I'm trying to think about like celebrating those moments, like the equivalent of the

Valravacan comes on your podcast. You do a co-headliner with whatever theappelle in his new show, whatever the thing is that you go, oh, that's cool. Celebrating that, like celebration is gratitude in action. And that thing of like gratitude being the mother of all virtues. Because if you kind of track it back to that, my kind of fundamental belief is that disposition is more important than position. So where you are in the world, you could be, you could be miserable or you could

be, you know, entirely at ease and it's, it's kind of dependent on your disposition. Are you looking at the donut or the hole? Cause you could always look at what you don't have. You could always look at what's missing or who's doing better or the other thing, but, you know, kind of being grateful in the moment. And the thing that seems to shift that is, is kind of, uh, is gratitude and celebration as a form of gratitude. Like trying to, trying to reframe a lot of stuff in my life in a positive light.

So that thing of like, I travel constantly, which is incredible sort of privilege, but also incredibly boring a lot of the time. It is right? Travel is boring, but going places is fun and you're seeing new things. And it's this idea of like boredom as unappreciated serenity. There's guys up mountains in Tibet for 30 years trying to get to where I get to in Denver airport. I've like, ah, and slightly like not being overstimulated. Like allowing yourself to be bored seems to be the, that's kind of where creativity bubbles

up. Right? You kind of allow yourself to be bored and you allow yourself to kind of just have, have that kind of allow yourself to be bored and you allow yourself to kind of just have, have that kind of, um, space. I think it's very difficult to white knuckle creativity. I'm aware that you, as someone who has quite a sort of, uh, structured creative process, but I would imagine that if you look at the absolute big winners that you've come up with, they've probably kind of been bestowed from above in a,

Oh, motherfuck, that's it. It's that thing. It's sort of almost divine inspiration that then gets refined in the process. Yeah. I think there's something about, yeah, I don't know about the refining really. I mean, often it's that thing of like you're writing on stage because you're in a flow state. So I started doing a thing a couple of years ago where actually what it was,

I mean, jealousy, really, I was looking what it was mean jealousy really I was looking at Andrew Schultz and I was looking at Matt Rife selling out arenas across America and I was how are they what's going on here and then I know those guys a little bit and I like them a lot and it's come on tablet and they're all doing putting out crowd work see why I do a lot of crowd work but but what oh I should do that dummy, every day's a school day. So I kind of watched it and started putting out these crowd work videos and it has grown. I mean, and it's also that weird thing of like going, I hadn't realized how much improv I was doing in a show.

It's like 20 minutes a show of stuff that we can put out that's unique to that show. And doesn't kill the sad doesn't know. It just doesn't, doesn't touch the written material. And it's a lovely thing where as a comedian, you want to kind of. I think I'm in the service industry, right? And I I'm going to be fine because I, I make something people want. I make them happy. No one remembers what I say, but they remember how I made them feel. And I tell jokes and I want to turn up suited and booted because it's a proxy for respect.

Right? I respect you, you've paid money, you've come out, you've given me your time and attention. That's nothing else. All that we have in life is time and attention and they give me that. So I want to prepare a show and make sure there's like 150 incredible banging lines that are like, and they've been filtered from a thousand lines that were okay, but not didn't quite make the cut. And then it's that thing where you go, and also I need to hold that space where, okay,

perform those jokes. And then, okay, what do we got? Shout out, anyone got anything, join in. And it's like, I suppose the analogy would be it's like doing that kind of improv. It's like watching a magician do real magic because you're doing the thing in real time. And it's freestyle rapping. Yeah. And it's the, I wonder how much of Chappelle said this thing a while ago. And it really struck with me of like, he was talking about a bad gig that he had and Dave does not have many bad gigs, but he was talking about evil Knievel.

He said evil Knievel wasn't paid for the jump. He's paid for the attempt. I was thinking, that's a brilliant way of looking at it because actually how much of what we do as comedians is bravery. How much of it is being paid to, yeah, there's freedom of speech, but it isn't freedom of consequence. And this fucking lunatic is saying anything. This guy's, I'm taking all the filters away.

And if you think about what friendship is for me, it's the person you have the least filter with. Again, another thing I got from modern wisdom. I was going to ask this. This is like a best of episode of Modern Wisdom. I know. It's really lovely to hear you on other shows. And I wonder how many other people pick up on it. I'm not to say that I'm your intellectual daddy or that the people on this show are,

but it's so nice to hear your interpretation of ideas that really mean a lot to me that maybe the inspiration consciously or subconsciously is percolated through. So I'm like, fuck, that sounds familiar. Fuck, that's like, that's a work on a whole Mosie quote from 2020, 2023. Yeah. I try and give you prompts all the time because it is that thing where you go, it's your friendship group and your, the things that you're taking in. I think also like for a lot of people, right.

I'm in a very privileged position. I'm fully aware of that. I get to know you. I, we get to be friends as well. There's a question you want to bring up. We can WhatsApp each other and we get to be friends with George Malcolm. There's, there's a coterie of people that, you know, we know each other and there's a lot of mutual respect there and I feel that and it's, it's lovely.

But I think really the sweet source of this show is I think most people that listen to this show have that relationship with you as well. It's just they didn't get to go first state last night, but they kind of go, you know, I think it's the same thing of going, I think probably most people listening to the show are like low level, a bit concerned about your health at the moment. Like, cause you, you sort of, you don't really talk about yourself that much. I think the other thing about the show is it's, it's, it's very much about, it's kind of, it's very dense compared to other podcasts.

I wanted to, that was the point I was about to make with regards to your set. And I saw you in Wembley at the second of a matinee, I think on that evening. I think you'd done two in Wembley. Oh yeah, one at 7, one at 9.30. One for me, one for the tax man. That's how I operate my touring system. Two shows a night. Very good.

And your set is incredibly lean. There is very little wasted time, including in the warmup, which doesn't exist. And I realized that if you were to have, when I first started the show. And still now, just because of my disposition, if you were to have a Rogan at one end, which is, uh, information dense, but can meander because he likes to vamp and chat shit. And then if you were to have Tim Ferriss at the other end, which is, you know, very sort of structured.

It's almost like a blinkist sort of cut down. Well, I'd even go further. I'd say to the, to the other absolute extreme, Morgan Housel has a 15 minute podcast that you listen to and go, all right, I need, I need half an hour to process that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it's so dense. Yeah, it's the almanac of Neville Ravikant of podcasts. Yes, he did. He did one the other day, which was like, oh, it's just like 15 things. I've

been thinking about. And after each one, you had to kind of pause it and go, I need a day. Right. Okay. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. I mean, he's, he's fucking brilliant. So I think that I sit, you know, I'm a bit more Ferris-pilled than Rogan-pilled, but I like, I like people feeling like, huh, I really got a lot out of that. I feel like it's, I think it's really true of comedians. And I think it's increasingly true in the, in this, in this world, the podcast world. I'd like you leak. You don't say a lot about yourself on the podcast, but you leak like they'd like who

you are sort of, oh, okay. There's like clues. Yeah. There's, there's little clues and it's, you can't hide who you are in this kind of long form for long. You know, there's no pretense. It's really, it's, there's little clues and it's, you can't hide who you are in this kind of long form for long. You know, there's no pretense. It's really, it's great. Uh, just on your idea around boredom being an insights, uh, creator, this beautiful work on the magic you are looking for is in the work you're avoiding.

So twist on that. The answers you are looking for is in the silence you're avoiding. Yeah. I fucking love that. The answers you're looking for is in the silence you're avoiding. So twist on that. The answers you are looking for is in the silence you're avoiding. Yeah. I fucking love that. The answers you're looking for is in the silence you're avoiding. You need fewer inputs, not more. I'd agree with that. Yeah.

That's really, uh, it's very, it's, it's interesting that thing of like, cause it's two British guys. So we feel like we should apologize for saying anything deep. And there's, there's like, there's a natural, uh, don't get ahead of yourself. George, George Mack had a great line yesterday. I went for a walk with George and he was talking about, you know, Britain's very cynical, uh, America's full of bullshit. It's just such a great kind of.

Yeah. In England, you need to be aware of the cynics and avoid them. And in America, you need to be aware of the bullshit artists and avoid them. And both of them are applauded. The cynics are praised by most of British culture and the bullshit artists are praised by most of American culture. But yeah, I, uh, I think I've realized the sort of people that I like. And I think it's why me and you have become friends.

I think it's why George's friends, Mosie, Brian Callan, you know, like this little, whatever we want to call it, squad of degenerate people trying to work out how the world works. I like earnest people, like people that are earnest. And my working definition of earnest is the bravery to take your emotions seriously. Yeah, I think you can be, I think there's a, there's a sweet spot between being very sincere, but you don't need to be serious. You could, you, you kind of, you're real, but it's not, you know, and it's very, I always think that thing of like, it's very easy live as well to switch.

Because there's slightly a code switch thing going on where you go, well on stage, I'm there to do a job, we're in a theater, this is the space, you're there to be funny. But occasionally now, and I'll allow myself, put it out on social media as well. If something comes up that's heartfelt or, or beautiful, sometimes you answer a question seriously. Sometimes you just go, so someone needs it. And so there's a couple of those moments, like in a show where I feel like I need to earn it. I feel like, yeah, if I do 20 minutes of fast balls, then I can, there could be one nice moment where you make a point.

But no one wants that. No one wants to come to a comedy show and have someone wag a finger at them and talk about being progressive. It's that thing where you go, okay, I'll be super funny. And then I feel like my audience will go, okay, he's made a good point there. And nothing overly controversial. It's not like, but it's like that thing. It's really interesting.

That thing of, um, I don't know whether it's an age thing, but feeling like I can do that a little bit more now. Yeah. This certainly an extra kind of credibility that comes with age that I'm feeling too. Uh, you look at Peterson and he's got this sort of patriarch persona, right? He's got sort of the gray hair. He's got the wizened fingers that look like a fucking druid. And you think, yeah, he's able to talk to you about the deeper meaning

of life and stuff like that. But if you are, you're kept backwards and walking in crocks, really, you've kept your upper bound on how much of this you can be taken seriously when you talk about, you know what I mean? So I think, I don't know, because I think it's't know because I think it's much more it's much more relatable. What will people listen to? It's always that thing of like, I wrote a book a couple of years ago, which kind of a biography slash self help.

And it was like, it's that thing of going it's Eckhart Tolle for dummies. It's it's because there's a lot of people that love that kind of stuff or would love that kind of stuff, but they're not going to read that kind of stuff. It's like there's no going to find time in their day. Yeah. And it is, it's tough. It's tough to kind of, uh, to get through it. Cause that stuff is actually, it's, um, it's sincere and it's very serious. And I think actually you sometimes do need to sugar that pill. I think comedy does that.

I mean, uh, Peter McGraw, who I think you've had, have you had it on the show? So he's got the theory of benign violation. I was chatting to Joe about this yesterday, the idea of like, um, uh, violations being, uh, anything that, um, messes with the norm, what you were expecting, expectations of life, pattern interruption. So something terrible happens in the world and you make it benign by making a joke about it. And so this idea that jokes cannot be offensive because there's a, um, there's a, by making it a joke, you're putting it in this kind of sacred space. It's like kind of like alchemy. Yeah. You're, you're, you're process. Well, I often think like it's someone's offended by a joke. I fucked up. I didn't use strong enough juju. There's not

enough magic on that. That wasn't funny enough to make it worthwhile for them to go to that place. I asked Schultz the same question. I said, are there any jokes that shouldn't be told? Can you think of a joke that shouldn't be told? Saying something is too serious to joke about. It's like saying, oh, that disease is actually too serious to treat. Or saying to a journalist, oh, we can't report on this story. It's horrible. Like you'd never dream of saying that. And you go, well, I feel sort of the same way about comedy.

It's all sort of fair game. It's a question of how funny could you be? Well, that was how skilled could you be in doing that? Andrew's response was when I said, is there anything, is there a joke so apparent that you shouldn't make it? And his immediate response was, is it funny? Yeah. And he's like, if it's funny, you can get away with whatever you want.

Yeah, I think so. It's not even getting away with it though. The idea of like, I don't buy into the- Get away with? Yeah, on the punching up, punching down. I don't buy into that because in order to buy into that, you have to buy into, um, the Frankfurt school and, uh, Foucault and Derrida and Lyotard and all of that. And the idea that power dynamics and that cultural, any cultural, uh, work is a demonstration

of power. And I, I frankly, I don't, I mean, I was, I was kind of brought up in that. That's when I was at university. That was all, postmodernism was, was thriving. Sexy the first time around. Yeah. And it was, well, it was, it was very, very interesting and valuable in the lab. And very much like COVID, it escaped the lab. Great in theory, horrible in practice. And it's had horrific effects. It, it escaped the lab. Great in theory, horrible in practice. And it's had horrific effects.

It's out of the lab. The R naught number keeps on rising. It's 28 days later, but with a meme, but with an idea. And I don't buy into that punching up, punching out, because in order to be punching down, you'll be looking down on someone. I'm not looking down on anyone. Traveling should be about the journey, not the chaos of packing, which is why. I am such a huge fan of Nomadic.

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I heard a quote of yours. If you're going to have an interesting life, you can't have all of the other interesting lives you would have had. What does that mean to you? Well, I suppose it's that thing of like, it's incredible the things you won't do. But when you think about like the potential that we all have, like we've all, we're all privileged in a sense, right? Cause we all get one life and then we get given, you know, different gifts, right?

So there's no, it can be no equality because we're all born different, right? So it's that thing of going, and it's not better, worse or the same. It's just different. Everyone's kind of different. And I think that for me, that the idea of going, um, you can, you can't have. An easy life and a great character. You can't, you've got to kind of go out there and decide what you want. That's the first great adventure.

And then getting it is the second great adventure. So it sort of speaks to that thing of like wishing well as work, but they don't work when it's not the magic. The magic is you going, oh, what I wish for. What do I want being the fundamental guy? Like if you know what you want, that's incredibly powerful. Most people don't know. Most desires are mimetic desires.

And you get into Rene Girard and the idea of going, well, I want that watch because he's got that watch and I want that car because he's got that car and I'd love that girlfriend. It's like how many guys are dating girls? Incredibly hot. They look amazing, very impressive. are dating girls? Incredibly hot. They look amazing. Very impressive.

They didn't even like the guy. It's like, it's a weird flex. Yeah. They're, they're in love with what other people think about them. Hmm. For having that. Is that Will Storr thing, that status game book, which is again, I mean, it's just, he's such a genius writer.

Uh, I love him. He's got a new sub stack by the way, all about storytelling. Wonderful. He comes out this week on the show. There's a story as a deal. Yeah. He's, he's, he's outstanding, outstanding him. But that idea of like, you choose what status game you play, you know, so, so

what status game, and again, another thing from modern wisdom, that idea of going, well, there's, there's fuck you money and there's fuck you freedom and there's fuck you family. I read, I mean, that really I took to heart as going, Oh, that's very interesting. And the idea of going, what are the things that you're not going to do? Because we live in a world that rewards specialization. And it strikes me that our whole school system is like geared wrong to get you to do all the different things, you know? And, and really, you know, young kids are like, what are you going to get you to do all the different things, you know, and, and really, you know,

young kids are like, what are you going to get from being, okay, we are terrible at maths, but we're going to get you up to a secret. Yeah. Because what the world needs is someone who's all right at maths. No, it's like competent at maths. No, but you're brilliant at English. We'll fucking lean into that. Spend all your time doing that. You know, specialize, especially as the world changes, I think leaning into, you know, it's that you often get, I don't know what it is about age or my position in life, but I think it asks like, Oh, what do you think I should do? And it's that thing of like, what do you think about all the time? That's the best indicator.

There's a, a Georgie's birthday this year in Austin. Dickie, one of the guys came up with a fucking wonderful, I haven't written about it yet, but it'll be in a newsletter soon. It's a great idea. He calls them shower thoughts. And the shower being one of the very few places reliably that people don't have some sort of external input going on. Right.

And he said, you can tell what you care about by what you think about in the shower. Tell what you care about by what you think about in the shower. Tell what you care about by what you think about in the shower. When there's no other inputs going on and you're in this liminal space between being unclean and then drying yourself off with a towel. What do you think about? Where does your mind go? It's like, that's what you care about. Yeah.

I think expanding that space to 20 minutes an hour. The answers you're looking for in the silence you're avoiding. Being alone with your thoughts is a, that's a, that's a lovely thing. How do you think about that? Because you're spending all of this time on the road, airports could watch a video, can listen to a podcast, can do the whatever thing. How do you try and purposefully create that space when you're busy all the time? I suppose that thing of like going, if I do eight shows a week or it'd be more than that on the American tour, but it's normally eight shows a week.

So it's that thing of like going, well, I want to try new jokes at every show. It's quite sort of stoic really. I mean, it's just like that thing of like going, well, there's, I always think how hard you work is important, but what you work on. Is essential. Like that's the key thing. You can work so hard on bullshit and distract yourself with it. And like my job's quite easy because it's easy to analyze and to pinpoint

what's the thing that makes a difference. And it's for me, it's jokes. It's the love language. It's the model and the more that I spend time with them, you sort of go, it's sort of like time in the gym, I suppose. So when you're thinking about nothing and letting your mind wander, that's the, that's when it comes up or you're listening to something and it's outside of your purview.

You're not listening to comedy. You're listening to someone talk about economics or politics or philosophy. And you're then thinking, what could I make a joke of that? So everything's within, you're seeing it through that. The lens of Very careful. If you are the average of the five podcasts you listen to the most, you gotta be careful because that's going to shape your- If you listen to too much Gary Stevenson,

you're going to be talking about Marxist economics and stuff like that. Be very careful what sort of algorithm holes you fall down in particular. Yeah, good, right? Good. Good, be careful. How do people know what they should be doing with their lives? People coming up to you and asking you for earnest, sincere life advice. How do you work out what someone should be doing with their life? People coming up to you and asking you for earnest, you know, sincere life advice. How do you work out what someone should be doing with their life?

I don't know. I mean, it's a, it's very odd to be like, I'm, I'm quite, uh, taken with simulation theory, um, because I don't think it's true. I don't think we are in a matrix and this is a video game. But if we are, I've definitely got a cheat code, right? Well, I get to be a touring international comedian with a you know, some lovely kids and a great life and great friends like that's an incredibly sort of privileged position. I think thinking about the world as as if simulation

theory is real. And this is all the simulation is very interesting. Because if you imagine life as a game, what are you solving for? What are your metrics? And I think when you really kind of analyze it and went, well, if this was going to be a scoreboard at the end, and you're only really competing with yourself, there's nothing in being better than anyone else. There's only honor in being better than yourself last year.

So the idea of going, well, what would be the important things? What would be the, you know, it's, and it's that thing of you go, it's not the, um, the, the achievement so much as the, uh, process, like enjoying the process seems to be it. So that thing of like, you know, what, what should people be doing? It's not for me to say it's all life is self assignment. It's that thing of like, what are you happy doing? What, where's the, where's the flow state for you?

What's the thing that brings you joy? It's not even like the 10,000 hours. I slightly think misses a trick because although I buy, yeah, you've got to work really hard and really long to get good at anything, to get competent at anything is hard. But what could you stand to do for that long? Because if it's, I mean, it's novel, if it's play to you and work to them, you're going to win 100% of the time. Yeah, much better question. To build on that, what looks like play to you, but looks like work to everybody else

is what pain do you want in your life? This is Mark Manson's twist on it. He says any pursuit, no matter how existentially aligned, will regularly come with a huge side order of pain. It doesn't matter how much you love doing comedy. If you want to be a comedian, that means you need to spend an awfully long time writing jokes that never see the light of day apart from one set when no one laughs you go yeah fuck I spent ages on that stuff forget that you gotta enjoy taxi rides to the airport correct yeah you have to enjoy the whole thing correct and as soon as you go oh no no I just like the bit where I'm on stage did that one no it's not that's not how life is. You have to take the whole package.

Yeah. James Clear has a fucking unbelievable take where he talks about if you want the life but not the lifestyle, you guarantee disappointment. Like if you're going to pursue this outcome, but you're not prepared to do what it takes to get it. Okay. You want to be a touring musician? Sounds fantastic.

You need to spend probably between five and 10 years just learning the instrument. This is before you get to perform. You don't really get to perform on stage for that long. Yeah. Then when you start doing that, the first 10 tours that you do, are maybe going to be in someone's borrowed van, in the back of a van.

You're not going to have enough money for hotels. You're going to be playing to a 100 people. No one's going to care about you. You're not going to have any money. You're not going to know if it's going to work. You have no promise of glory on the other side. You're going to be racked with self doubt, constantly uncertain. The whole experience is going to be tarnished in this like weird liminal,

like discontent about whether this is actually the right path to be on. And then maybe you reach a tiny bit of escape velocity and perhaps get toward micro notoriety. Okay. And then we maybe get to a manager and then we start to get looked at. That is the process of becoming remotely great at anything. Yeah. I always think that thing of like with young comics, it's quite easy because

you go, if you're going out 300 nights a year to do open mics, it's kind of the same life as playing arenas. It's not vastly different. You're going out telling jokes, you go out and do a show. Like where you go to and how, whether it's an audience of 50 people or 15,000, it really is a very similar process. So if you enjoy that, if you love it, then great. Good question on what should I be doing with my life? You said before. If people were making a movie about your life, what would the key scenes be? It's a weird thing actually where like the cancellation episode, I was thinking like

whenever you get canceled or not cancel dragged whenever you get like a tough time, it's like, if my life was a movie, this would be the best episode. If my life was like a 10 part on HBO, they, they, you know, obviously dedicate an entire episode to that. That's all the episode where he said the terrible thing and people got very upset. I mean, I always think you've got to right size it with, with, uh, you know, there's different types of cancellation. Like oftentimes it's, I told a joke and some people didn't like it.

Wow. Okay. Yeah. It's like, who cares? There's a, um, the patron saint of comedy is St. Lawrence and some of your industry has a patron saint. Yeah. And he's a third century martyr and he was an early Christian obviously.

And he's a third century martyr and he was an early Christian, obviously. And St. Lawrence was condemned to death and they burnt him alive. So they put him on like a metal kind of, I don't know, like, I don't know what you would call it. Like a fucking skillet. Yeah, like a big skillet. And they cooked him. Okay. And he said, after 10 minutes of being burnt alive, uh, turn me over. This side's done. And that level of bravery and fuck you is very inspirational.

It's like that thing of like going, it's almost like stoicism to the extreme. Like the, what we, we, we can't control the world. We can have a strong influence, but we can't control anything. And shit is going to happen to you and how you react to that is life. Was Plato the guy that was forced to be killed by the government? Is that him? What drank poison? Yes. I think that was Socrates, wasn't it?

Socrates. Thank you. Um, there's a great story about him. by the government, was that him? What drank poison? I think that was Socrates, wasn't it? Socrates. Thank you. Um, there's a great story about him, apparently very, like big, fuck you energy. I think I need to channel my inner Socrates a little bit more. And the way that it worked when they condemned him during the trial, he was saying, you think that you're punishing me.

Like it was a jury of like 150 people. This is how much, and typically what you're supposed to do is be groveling. Soxie supposed to come up and, you know, bring the crying wife, bring the crying children to it. He didn't do any of that. Yeah. And he started chastising the jury. And he said, you all think that you're punishing me, but you know that I'm an innocent man.

So really you're punishing yourselves. There's nothing that you can do to me because I know that I haven't done the things. You clearly, whatever it was disturbing the youth, you know, the sort of frivolous claim, the accusation, and he gets sentenced to death. And he's supposed to drink. Hemlock. Hemlock. And he's back at the cell and all of his family's around him and his friends are around him and the way that it worked, there was not really a time limit on when

you had to drink the hemlock. His friends said to him, you know, you don't need to, you don't need to drink this, you can spend some more time around your friends and your family. You can hang a steak and so you like play the system and drag this out. And he just drank it in front of them immediately. I just love how much of a fuck you it was. Like you all think that you're condemning me, but really you're condemning yourselves. You think you're punishing me, but you're actually punishing yourselves.

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I heading to drink LM NT dot-com slash modern wisdom. That's drink LM NT dot-com slash Modern wisdom do people want more time or do people want more unique experiences? it's I would argue that like the great gift of being a comedian is you see stuff. You see it when you've got kids, right? Kids seeing stuff for the first time and they're excited. And what I think a lot of people are doing past a certain age, I know what the age is, let's say 40, you're remembering stuff. You've made that drive before you've seen sunsets before you're kind of remembering

stuff so that your mind is kind of filling it in and you're not in wonder. And I think a lot of what comedy is certainly that kind of the observational element of it is whether it's linguistic or, uh, observation more generally is you're really recognizing stuff. You're really seeing things in a, in a, in a way that an artist would. You're trying to see it for what it is. If I'd never observed this before, what would I notice? Yeah. And also that unique experience of like touring around, seeing different places.

It's such a unique experience. Literally, you know, when you, I've done 20 shows in my life, 30 shows in my life. I remember a bunch of different scenarios. There was a nine-year-old girl sat in the fourth row of the show that we did in Sydney. And she asked this amazing question. And James had been dropping the C-bomb throughout all of his warm-up act. And mine was a little bit, you know, this fingering jokes and stuff like that. And I was like, parents, I'm so sorry for like what's happened to your nine-year-old

daughter. She was like, it's all right. She's Australian and everyone broke out laughing. I'm like, I'm, I can't until Parkinson's comes and rips my fucking like consciousness out of my head. I'm not going to forget that. So you have, you're right. The two ways that human memory works is novelty and intensity. If it's something that's new or if it's something that's really emotionally

salient, which you could just look at as another form of novelty, right? The intensity thing. So someone will make a drive to work. They've been at this job for four years. You're like, you've made that drive there a thousand times and back a thousand times. No memory.

But it's been condensed down into one journey. So apart from that time when it was icy and the guy next to you skidded and oh, nearly that's novelty and intensity. You go, I remember that one. And I remember the first day I went to work. Yes. And I remember when the road was closed and I got in late and I did whatever. But unless you purposefully inject novelty, and this is one of the sort of ruthless double-edged

swords to routine, which is a lot of the gains in life are to be made through being structured and routine eyes and habits. Finding that balance of going like, because that is that thing of like you could go somewhere different on vacation every year or you go back to the same place because what are you solving for? Are you making new memories or do you want relaxation? You know what's the, what's the, what are you trying to get out of this? What do you want? You're back to that fundamental question. I think this is one of the reasons why, uh, as people get older, their openness to experience goes down because the assumption is I've been on loads of

holidays, I know where's good and I know where's bad and the likelihood as somebody that's been on lots of holidays of beating the best one or even getting into the top 10% is way tougher in my sixth decade than it is in my second. No, tell me about my reversing, like that thing of like trying to go against the grain of what normally happens. So serotonin and dopamine, right? Both very important. And we normally get our serotonin from old music. People listen to old music. They listen to the stuff they like when they were in their teens and twenties.

And they listen to, and they watch new movies, dopamine, new stories. Where's this going? What's going to happen? I kind of changed it around. I listened to that Quentin Tarantino book, the Cinemasta, Speculation. And when I haven't seen any of these 70s movies, or maybe I saw them when I was a kid, but I haven't seen them for years or whatever. I'm going to watch 70s movies and listen to new music. And it's a

really, it's really fun. It's a really fun way to kind of change things. How does that affect you? Well, I think that thing of like going, being slightly out of your, like new music's really interesting because it's, it's such a pleasurable thing to listen to new stuff and old movies. I think the seventies was the high point for movies. I don't think movies go, cause it was like, there was an industry there, but it wasn't fully, I don't know, like it wasn't blockbusters yet. Like experimental.

Yeah. There was, there was all tours and the suits were giving the best directors the money to go and do the thing, go and do. Cause we don't have a established process of how this should be done. So we can allow you to have a few more degrees of freedom. Yeah. It was, it was, I dunno, it's just a wonderful time. I kind of feel like it's very analogous to how comedy is now.

Comedy is really having a moment culturally. Um, that's very, very special. And I don't know what that is. I maybe it's, uh, uh, authenticity or there's something about or there's something about people wanting to be part of a tribe. I sort of think, right. So in our culture, there was a fire and we gathered around the fire and did this spoke, right. And then there was the radio and we gathered around the radio and we listened to it and

chatted and then there was a TV gathered around. We watched the shows and we listened to it and chatted. And then there was a TV, gathered around, we watched the shows and talked about it the next day. And then suddenly it was the phone and I'm over there and you're in your room and we're kind of isolated. And I think that thing about coming out to comedy or going out to festivals or going and seeing stuff is it's my, I suppose, play. We are playing creatures.

Someone wrote a book about this in the, I think it was the late thirties, about human beings as a playing animal. Like play being upstream of cooperation, and cooperation being the secret source of humanity. And the idea of like, I think about what people are interested in. Anyone you know, anyone you speak to, like what you're excited about.

Oh, well, I'm watching the game on Saturday. You're watching people play. I'm going to go and see the concert. Uh, the killers are playing live. Oh, I'm going to go and see them play. Oh, I'm going to go see that comedian. Okay. It's just a guy playing on stage.

I'm going to go and see a musical. I mean, whatever you're into, you want to see people playing. And what is this conversation? It's, it's kind of play, right? It's it's curiosity and it's you can, you want to see people playing and what is this conversation? It's kind of play, right? It's curiosity and it's you can sort of sorting out ideas and picking little things and strands and it's playful and it's incredibly important. I love that George Bernard Shaw line that we don't stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing. And there's a wonderful thing in my privileged life as a comedian where I'm a grown man, but I also get to be in that mind space while I'm playing all the time. And the audience come out and they bought a ticket and just, I mean, it's very self-selecting,

the audience that you'd have a tough time having a tough kick because a thousand people have bought a ticket to see you. They want to see when came to play. No, but there's an illusion. Isn't there the illusion is, um, and that your ego could get taken away. Like, Oh, I'm on stage. It's me. I'm performing and you don't see the audience.

The audience are performing. I saw it last year. I went to see Taylor Swift live in Wembley last year and it was transcendent. And she was amazing. Great songwriter, incredible musician, wonderful performer. She was great. The audience were next level. Like it was girls and their moms and their best friends, like quite a lot of this action. They knew every word to every song. They were, cause I was watching it and I was also kind of watching the crowd and watching that it's performative.

And then you saw, I was kind of watching it and going, oh yeah. Well, in my audience, people don't, they wouldn't laugh if they saw the clip on their phone, on the bus, you know, or with, you know, sometimes people will post under an Instagram, you know, you put out some heckle video, they got not funny. Yeah. But you watched it with a sound off and the subtitles. I saw a clip of Taylor Swift live and I didn't sing along. Yeah. Well, you're not singing along when you see the clip, but, but when you're there,

it's permission is the, the, I suppose that thing was like, uh, you see Bruce Springsteen live. How are you doing? If you, someone in Starbucks says it, it sounds psychotic. It's, it's great. You allow yourself permission to be in that space where you can perform. It's wonderful. Collective effervescence is a wonderful way to get out of your own head. And yeah, I think to fly the flag for my old industry, the demise of nightclubs

that don't require quite as much effort that aren't as rare, that allow you to be in that space and see a DJ. There's just some local DJ that plays great songs and every songs everybody knows, we get to dance together. Think like, fuck, how increasingly rare is it that you're in a room with a bunch of people who you both do and don't know,

all feeling a kind of vibe that's together. Maybe the resurgence that you're seeing with comedy, with live stuff, even the sort of things that I do, or more like a Peter Soniani style lecture come whatever, with a few fingering jokes. There's something going on there. Well, I wonder what people are looking for when they are mutual friend, Alan de Botton.

He's got the school of life, which is ultimately they were running services on a Sunday. I think they still do run services on a Sunday, which is sort of church for people that can't sort of believe in a deity, but they still want to go and because I, you know, church world even Alan, but church works not because God is happy, but because people are coming together. And you know, they kind of, you'll have heard me talk about this Latin mass thing, which is kicking off at the moment. People going to Latin mass.

Well, I've often said Vatican two was the biggest mistake in, in the church's history because what they did was they, they translated it goes back to Ian McGilchrist. Have you read that, the Mastering of the Ambassadors, the left brain, right brain thing? So the incredible thing about the left brain is it orders things and makes lists and it's very, we live in a left brain world. And the only thing more impressive than that is the right brain, the idea that it can see the gestalt, it can see the whole thing. And you go, the problem with Vatican II is they took religion and they, they made it, they translated it into your local language and you could just go, oh yeah, doesn't make sense.

That can't happen. Can't come back from the dead. It's crazy. But before that, when it was all in Latin and there was a lot of incense, it was, you were just in awe. So I had the same effect of like standing in nature. Will Barron Do it just, do you know what it is? I fucking wish it wasn't this. But the more that I think about what it is people want to take away from life, it's all just vibes. It all just comes

back to vibes. So what's the vibe? What was the vibe of his show? Can you remember any of the one line? I think he did a joke about roadkill. Yeah, no, can't remember anything. He gave this really nice answer. He gave this earnest answer to this guy about something, something, something, something. But I remember the vibe. Vibe was sort of relaxed. Like intense actually, it's kind of quick. Is it Maya Angelou?

People don't remember what you say, but they remember how you feel. I got to round out that movie thing. You mentioned movies before. Two questions about people ask, what should I be doing with my life? If your life was a movie, what would the key scenes be? I think that's important when you're looking backward. But a much better one, if your life was a movie and people were watching up to this point, what would the audience be screaming at the screen telling you to do with your life? What would they be just, it's fucking obvious, leave the job, leave the room, you get like, it's your brother, it's the fucking killers hiding in the cupboard, whatever it might be.

What would the audience watching the movie of your life be screaming at the screen telling you to do? I think it's a very orthogonal way to look at, huh, I already know the answer of what I should be doing. I'm just scared of making the commitment and having the conversation. Yeah, I waited a long time. I didn't, uh, I had kids very late in life and it was because I was waiting to feel like a man and obviously I had it just backwards.

It's a, it's cause it's a, it's not a noun. It's a verb. So you have kids and then suddenly you feel, hold a kid and you feel fucking manly. This is fucking great. And then you don't know who you're going to be as a dad. How's fatherhood changed you? I don't know. I think it's, I don't know about change.

I think it's like you sort of, you know that thing of like power corrupts. I think it does. I think it does. I think power reveals. And I would say sort of the same about sort of parenthood. Like you don't, you don't change. It just reveals who you, who you are at kind of a deeper level. It just like the, there's a, there's a side of you that was always kind of waiting. And you, you come out and you don't get get it's almost like the kids come out with their factory settings right like how much of what they have is heritable

and they just come out and they are who they are and you watch these little creatures and they and they you can we come out so I've got a personality I don't know where that happened and then the other ones got totally different personality oh because I think everyone with one kid is nurture. Oh, well we, we gave them this. So they've done that and we were always, we read books like that. So they did this. Cause you haven't got to run the experiment a second time.

Yeah. And then as soon as you get the second one, you go, Oh, I don't know. I don't know. Yeah. They just, she likes that. So what are you going to do? Yeah. It's, it's, it's lovely. Um, and what are you going to do? Yeah. It's lovely.

And I think it's the same with parenting. I think you don't know who you're going to be as a parent. And it's a revealing thing. It's you kind of go, oh, I'm, oh, I'm not going to. Okay. That's fun. Great. Did it teach you much about yourself?

I don't know. I don't know what the, I suppose it's that thing of like, it's a, uh, it's, it's a feeling that's very difficult to put into words without, you know, it's a pretty sort of cliched thing, but it does feel like it's, um, I suppose it's, it's closed off, uh, an existential angst that I always had of like since losing my real, I lost my religion, my mid twenties, it's quite sort of late. I was a Catholic and I lost my faith and was an atheist and not having an afterlife is it's a rush of blood to the head, right? So I've got to do something with this life. I've got to take opportunities and risks and have fun now because a random collection of atoms coalesced into a form that can contemplate its own consciousness for 4,000 weeks and then disappears again. That's it.

We're in this brief shaft of light between two oceans of darkness. And then suddenly you have kids and you go, Oh, there is, there is an ex-life, it's them, it's the, it's the DNA. It's Dawkins was right. It's the gene. I'm just the, I'm the vessel. And that's, I found that very, I found that incredibly comforting. So you're saying that the denial of death and the death anxiety can be assuaged,

at least in part, by making more of you? Yeah, I think the death anxiety, the death is the certainty. It's coming for all of us. I think the more that we talk about it and acknowledge it, the better. That idea around, I will become a dad when I become a man. I will become a dad when I become a man. I will... That's clearly like the movie of your life. The guys listening to the podcast, the girls listening to the podcast, the whole thing. I mean, we're all screaming at the podcast.

Go and... Use the genes. Use them. We sort of want you to be happy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I can't wait. I keep on saying it. I really, really of want you to be happy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I can't wait.

You know, I keep on saying it. I really, really do look forward to becoming a dad. Like I think it's going to be, uh, I hope that becoming a father makes all of the things that I've done up to now feel like shallow, vapid attempts to get recognition from the world. You're a club promoter, love island, shallow and vapid attempts to get recognition from the world. You're club promoter, love island, shallow and vapid. Yeah, I know. Shallow, vapid, how dare you? What can I say?

Wonderful industries. Very insightful, incisive, you know. My prediction is you should, not my prediction, my dream for you is that you have a big family because I think there's a, um, there's an only child that sounds terrifying, but there's a, there's a theme in the, the only child thing comes up a lot for you. Like it's a, it's a recurring theme. And I think what you need is a really loud, messy house. Let's go back to Plato, right?

So my issue with Plato, obviously, you know, the, the, the birth of the, you know, it's Plato to NATO. That's Western civilization, right? Incredibly important figure, but I got issues with Plato. If he was here and I'd say, I'll tell him it's Plato and the Zarathustrans and they both independently came up with the idea of perfection. So the Zarathustrans were the first religion believe, to come up with the idea of heaven, perfection and the platonic ideals of Plato. And I think in our heads, we think of perfection as an ideal, obviously a lot.

And I think it gets in our heads like, well, if it can't be perfect, I don't want to, I want to get to the bottom of my list. I want to cross everything off. I want to deal with all these problems and then move on. You can, well, problems are all a problem is, is it something that needs your attention. That's great. And there's no such thing as no problems. There's just different problems, higher, higher order problems. If it helps call it a puzzle, not a problem.

Like just it's, there's going to be problems. It's going to be messy. Like Nietzsche had this great line, which embraced the chaos. Like it's quite chaotic life and it's, it's not terribly orderly and it's never going to be orderly. And I think there's something about having kids kind of lets you just kind of lean into that a little bit. The illusion of control really disappears. You've got influence, but very little control. Before we continue, if you haven't been feeling as sharp or energized as you'd like, getting your blood work done

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The common feeling that your life has not begun, that your present reality is a mere prelude to some idyllic future. This idyll is a mirage that'll fade as you approach, revealing that the prelude you rushed through is in fact the one to your death. It's this strange... Is that not John Lennon? Life is what happens while we're making other plans. Like it's, it's yeah, it's brilliant piece of, it's a brilliant observation.

Oh, once I've got this done, once I get my degree, then life will begin. Once I've, I've just got to pass these exams and get to that thing and buy that house and then I've just got to pay this off and then I've got to do and then we can start. It's a very instrumental view of life that everything is done in order to achieve the next thing. So at no point do you actually arrive. It's a great question. Okay.

When are you going to arrive? Tell me, tell me when you're going to arrive at life. When are you going to feel like you've actually got that? Well, we're going to end up being Buddhist helmet because it's like, I do slightly disagree with the over pathologizing life, but depression and anxiety, which I would rather call sadness and worry, but you know, it's very serious for some people, right? Depression is always about the past and anxiety is about the future. And in the more you can just be in the moment, you're kind of, you're sort

of, all right, you sort of, okay, you know, today enjoying that thing of like. Enjoying this bit of the process, but it is that thing of like, it's very, it's kind of easy, it's easy to say, I mean, I love that thing as well. I mean, I'm such a fan boy, the show, but they, the, um, 2d and 3d lessons, but it's, it's so true in terms of like, you can't say to a young person like the material possessions, they're not going to bring you happiness because actually they kind of will, but not having the watch won't make you happy. Getting, getting it is fun. Having stuff is getting stuff is fun. But not having the watch won't make you happy.

Getting it is fun. Having stuff is fun. Getting stuff is fun. The journey is so fun. Like that thing of like, and it's partly the dopamine of like, it's the thrill of the acquisition, but the stuff that gives you pleasure long term, it's like, it's feelings. Having things isn't fun. Getting things is fun. That's Andrew Tate, by the

way, but you have this- Is it? Yeah, that's Andrew Tate. Yeah. You weren't expecting that. Well, a stopped clock is twice a day. But you had the, you had the inverse of this when it comes to work rate, which I think probably classes is one of the best insights over the last few years. Everyone is jealous of what you've got. No one is jealous of how you got it.

Yeah. I think that thing of like, but it is that thing where you go when people say, I want to be famous and, but they don't have a thing. It's like, I don't know what for, but it's the, but fame and fortune is the secular heaven. For fame, read heaven. It's the land of milk and honey. Everything's going to be okay. And then when you, it's kind of annoying when famous people complain about stuff

because you're going to be, you've got everything. You've got different problems. It's again, it's problems as a feature, not a bug. The issue you have, the issue that I think a lot of famous people have is I am certain that my inner void will be filled when I, and the benefit that people who are not yet as rich or as famous as they want to be is that they still have the potential panacea for them to get to. What's that great Will Smith line?

I'm not the biggest Will Smith fan in the world, but the idea that he, he went, I was, I was poor and miserable and it was okay because I thought, well, I'll just try and get some money and then I'll be all right. And then I was rich and miserable. It was like, Oh, Oh, fuck. Oh no. That's Mark Manson's memoir. Yeah.

Yeah. Originally that was going to be a two-part series. Mark was going to write the first book is called Will. He wrote that with, with Will Smith and the second book was going to be a two-part series. Mark was going to write the first book is called will you wrote that with, with Will Smith. And the second book was going to be called power. Uh, should have been called I am. That would have been a very good copyright issue. Yeah. Um, which, which way around does it work?

Interesting when it comes to trademark, I'm going to get this the wrong way around, but Europe and the U S have different laws when it comes to how words can be trademarked. My mind is stuck on a joke. Okay. So when the Will Smith and Chris Rock thing happened, okay, obviously it's Chris Rock is like, for me, a God like figure. I've met him a couple of times and I just, I'm so in awe of his skill and, and do not touch our profit.

Okay. Work ethic. And like, I was so in awe of his skill and work ethic. Did not touch our profit, okay? Work ethic. And like, I was so annoyed. So I was chatting about it a couple of weeks ago with a friend and said, oh, somehow it came up and I said, oh, Chris Rock came. He was at the Oscars. Yeah, he was really starstruck. Like three years too late.

If I thought of that on the day, I was genuinely annoyed with myself. Like, oh, come on, come on brain. Think about it on the day. No use now. But there is, there is this sense of what happens if you achieve the things that you say that you want? What happens if you get there? Just imagine for a second, the perennial insecure overachiever, optimizer people. What happens if you get there and you still have the same problems? Then what do you do? That's a difficult question.

Yeah, but I think it's, I think it's answered by, um, you know, there's, there's, there's other people on the same road and it can feel sometimes quite sort of, I don't know, you sort of, you're out there. Battling, trying to, trying to achieve whatever you're trying to achieve. And you kind of do it and look around and you go, well, there's other people. I think having friends in other fields is really helpful. And you, cause that thing of like, if, if it's too close to your industry, it can sometimes be a little bit kind of frenemies.

But I think that thing of like, well, comedy is really good for that because it's. Kind of we're out for ourselves, but in it together, there's a lovely thing about sense of camaraderie. Yeah. And it's not like we're actors. It's not like we're, you know, it was, there's only one role for the next Marvel movie. There's only one James Bond. And I'm afraid you didn't get the part, but he did. Ah, he's life's amazing. Yours is shit. Whatever that thing is. Um, with comedy, it seems to be that there's a, there's a camaraderie and a, it's also comes back to that thing of like, don't be the best, be the only. Like if you're a non-fungible human and someone goes, well, no one else is doing what he does, but other people are in the same, uh, industry.

It's like Iron Maiden had a great line about this. The Iron Maiden was like, I think they did an interview with the, um, their, their manager and he went, well, we're not in the music industry. We're in the Iron Maiden industry. That's a fucking slammer. And they, and they went, he went, I don't care what's happening in that field. We can only plow this field. And like, it's just, you go, yeah.

I mean, they had so many great lines actually, but I think Bruce Dinkins was sort of saying fame is, um, it's, it's a, a byproduct of what we do. It's the, it's the, uh, it's the excrement. Uh, fame is the excrement of creativity. Like something that you need to deal with, but sometimes can be enjoyable. Well, it's like, yeah, okay. Well, it's interesting when people pursue fame for fame's sake. I want to be famous.

Is that no. Sorry. You, you were on love island when? Uh, sorry? What? That's true. Yeah. Look, I want to be famous. Is that no, sorry, you, you were on love island when? Yeah. Sorry. Yeah, look, I'm allowed to talk. I'm allowed to talk about this because I went up the mountain and came back down. Well, I think it is that thing of like the, I don't think that story's been told properly, we chatted about this last night at dinner bar, I think to tell that story

fully, I think is very inspirational because you go, it's the, you've worked on something that is a, uh, like, like any other muscle, you know, we were going into love Island and okay, you've got great forearms, wonderful. Good luck. God bless. And then you've worked on that for how many years now? Six, seven. This is your eight year, seven and a half now.

Yeah. Okay. Wow. The results. Like the, like you're an advert for, it's not even work ethic. It's just, it's, it's, it's not like ambition. It's systems. It's like three shows a week, every week. I know what a tough year you've had and the idea that you just keep on showing up.

Come on, come on, to mutually fillate each other. You are by a margin the hardest working comedian on the planet. I don't think that- Well, if only I had a bit more talent. I'd take a weekend off. I'm blown away by the schedule that you have. I did actually want to read you an essay of mine based on people that work very hard. The gastric band surgery of being busy.

After undergoing gastric band surgery, people's risk of suicide goes up. That's perhaps unsurprising. Gastric band surgery is a big deal and can sometimes have complications, infections and painful outcomes. But one of the unseen reasons for the increased suicide risk is actually due to the surgery going right, not it going wrong. Many patients used food as a way to deal with issues in their lives, emotional challenges, loneliness, anxiety. After having their stomach shrunk, the ability to use food as a comforting crutch has been

removed, but the emotional challenges still remain. So the coping mechanism has been taken away, forcing patients to face their issues without a release valve. I think there is an equivalent dynamic happening when you try to elevate your life to take your sense of self-worth from things other than your work and your level of busyness. Let's say that in the past you used busyness as a chaos and as a way to distract yourself from feeling unwanted emotions. It meant that you didn't need to reflect on your decisions or sit in discomfort, that you're moving so quickly that you never fully connect with the things that are happening in your life. Lost relationships, disconnected friends, poor decisions and accumulated negative character traits are all swept away so quickly that you didn't even have time to consider them by manic work-rate. Eventually you realize that chaotic busyness is not your highest calling in life. Maybe you value different things now, maybe you've outgrown

that phase of your life, maybe you realize that busyness for busynesses sake is detaching you from connecting to your existence. So what happens when this coping mechanism gets taken away? You're forced to face your issues without the highly distracting release valve that you're used to. The busyness anesthetic that you've used to previously rely on has now been removed, leaving you with two choices. Number one, ignore the lesson that chaos is not fulfillment and go back down this road that you just escaped from by force-feeding your way through this figurative

gastric band. Number two, actually learn to handle emotional discomfort without distracting yourself with work. Yeah, that's beautiful. It really reminds me of that Milan Kundra wrote this short book called slowness and kind of the, the nub of the book, the message is that memory and speed are inversely proportionate. So the idea, like the best example I can think of is when COVID hit and the world

The best example I can think of is when COVID hit and the world slowed. You kind of took stock and remembered stuff and sort of had time to contemplate. Like in that boredom, I guess, of not being busy, not being chaotic. There was a real kind of look around. I don't know. I, um, didn't you have a chairman Mao quote that was similar to this? What was the chairman?

Mao quote? I don't know. You can't smell the roses from a galloping horse. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good, that's Mao. What? Who knew?

Chairman Mao. Well, we can take good shit. We can take good shit from Andrew Tate and Chairman Mao. As long as it's good shit. Cause that's really who you need to be associated with right now to help rehabilitate your public image. Sure. Sure.

Sure. Yeah, but it's that the, uh, it's, it's true. Like slowing down once in a while is, uh, is, is very good for you and, and finding that balance in life. But I think, um, I don't know, I think working hard's not. It's also, I know people that really work hard. Like I work hard in showbiz. Like, are the hardest working man in comedy.

Yeah, it's like being the best looking guy in the Burns unit. Right? It's not really a flex. Because even if I do two shows a night, oh my god, sometimes I have to work for four hours. I'm not sure I'm going to be okay. Like what are you, it's nothing. But there's people with real jobs that work really hard. And there's people actually that don't love their job. That they work in order to facilitate a life

that they love. Well, great, good on them. There's an honor and there's a worth in that. I think we've slightly lost that in our society, if I'm honest with you. Like the hero of the working man that provides for his family, puts food on the table on a roof over the head. Well, I think that's a good point that we've sort of pedestalized passion so much that we assume the only reason that anybody does a job is because they want to do it. And

there is an additional type of nobility that comes along with drudgery. You think, well, not only do you do this thing, which is maybe hard, but you don't want to do it, but you do it anyway. Yeah. I know being, being a provider, um, taking care of, I mean, yourself and the people that you love just doing of, I mean, yourself and the people that you love, just doing that. I'm working hard. It's not like something shifted in our culture where that isn't, um, those, those people

are seen as being chumps or, you know, a Mark, uh, they haven't got a side by the man. Yeah. They haven't got a side hustle and a grift. And you go, no, that's some people work like that and they work really hard and they provide for their families and they are doing great. And they're taking pleasure from their hobbies and their interests. And actually a friend of mine was talking about this because his father had quite a boring job, but he was so passionate about his hobbies.

And it was really interesting that he was like, he didn't like the term hobbies even because he was going, that's what brought him joy in life. That was the thing for him. Great. In other news, this episode is brought to you by Momentous. If your workouts feel flat, your recovery slow or you've just been feeling off, it might not be a training plan or diet, it might be something a bit more boring like your testosterone. So if you're not performing in the gym or the bedroom the way that you want or you just want to naturally improve your testosterone, Tonkatali

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Right now you can get 35% off your first subscription and that 30-day money back guarantee by going to the link in the description below or heading to livemomentous.com slash modern wisdom using the code modern wisdom a check out that's L I V E M O M E N T O U S E N T O U L I V E M O M E N T O U S dot com slash modern wisdom a modern wisdom a check out There's a line from Visakhan Varasmi. He says, I have not yet grown wise enough to deeply enjoy simple things. And this is an idea I've been thinking about recently.

There is a kind of embarrassment in the modern world at taking pleasure from ordinary pursuits. This sort of sense that my, the things that I feel particularly proud about and that I take a sense of self-worth from and fulfillment, they should be grand. Because how feeble, how shallow, how unimpressive a life it is that lying in a hammock for a couple of hours can be one of the greatest sources of joy. No, you're supposed to be base jumping from the edge of a skyscraper, you know, just off the back end of some VIP trip to Ibiza to go and watch, you know, it's supposed to be this

grand thing. And that line, I have not yet grown wise enough to deeply enjoy simple things, I think is a pathology of the modern world. Should we quote Neville? I mean, he's the best of us. If you're not happy having a coffee with a friend, you won't be happy on a yacht. Yeah.

I did have coffee with a friend on a yacht recently and went, hey, I've done both. This is good. It's even better. I'm enjoying all of it. Yeah. This is great. It is better.

It's a big boat. Yeah. But no, there's an interesting challenge there, I think, for people that are perennial over-thinkers because a lot of them will feel things more deeply than they should do, including the shame of feeling things more deeply than they should do. It's this odd sort of recursive loop. Yeah.

Are you allowing yourself enjoy anything at the moment? I'm trying to as much as I can. I mean, look, some of the things that I've learned, the celebration thing is gratitude and action, I think is a beautiful way to summarize something that I've been floating around. I'm trying to build a studio in an office here in Austin, because I basically took the working from home pill during

COVID and then never realized that COVID had finished. Just I'm just going to solo pr a degenerate lone range of my way through this thing. But we hit a million subs and I got to ring Dean, we hit 2 million subs and I think I broke off from work for a little while. I hit 3 million subs on a plane and I just didn't, you know, it's just another thing that happens despite it being something that we worked toward for a long time. And you might go, well, you're not doing it for the subscriber count. You go, okay. So at what point are you going to allow yourself to arrive?

When are you actually going to celebrate this sort of a thing? It's interesting. You know, that thing of like, when it gets to a certain number of subscribers, you do a Q and A. I think the Q and A should just be a regular thing because I think it's like, it's a bit like the newsletter. It's like just, it's sort of almost allowing people check in with you on a regular basis. And I think you don't allow yourself to do that because if your whole interviewing style

is about the guest. Yeah. You're very much in service of the, of the guest and my goal is to make you or whoever sat in front of me, look as good as possible. Okay. Well, not to make it about me. Okay. Well, when's that going to shift? When's it going to shift?

Because how many books do you need to read? How many people do you need to sit with and talk to and add value to? How many quotes do you need before you go, I'm enough. I've arrived. I can just talk. I can, I can just talk about life and what I think. And it's, I'm enough. It's a good, it's a, it's a good question.

Um, there is definitely still a kind of imposter syndrome, not around what I do, but around stepping into the more sort of guru side of this stuff. And I think that in some ways that's healthy because there's certainly a lot of people who completely bypass the learning thing and go straight into the proselytizing thing without having done any of the work to get up there. I mean, I'm a big fan of imposter syndrome. I sort of think if you're not feeling it every 18 months, you're not pushing yourself.

So that thing of like doing things that you're not quite comfortable with on a regular basis is it's, it's a pretty good sign. You're moving, you're making some progress. Is that difficult for you given that kind of all of the things that you sort of can do now, like what? Yeah, no, I like, I put arenas in, in the UK. So I'm playing arenas at the end of the year. No way.

And it's like, that's a, that's a, like, cause I'm used to playing theaters and I do arenas in different markets in the world, like in Australia and New Zealand, I'm playing arenas next year, but in the UK I kind of haven't done it. Where are you playing? Like 10 cities around the UK and then I, you know, in Australia and New Zealand, everywhere. Yeah. Do you know what dates you're doing in the UK?

I'm doing, it's November and December. And it's, but I'm playing in the round because it's that thing where I did just like, I did a gig. I was in, I was in Melbourne, um, and one night off in the tour and Chappelle was in town and he called and said, you know, what's poppin? I said, Oh, you're doing a show. I said, Oh, I'll come down and play. And he played it in the round and it was like being a boxer. And you sort of realized there was like 14,000 people in there but no one had a bad seat because there's screens

above and you're just kind of gently rotating and delivering to do like the lazy Susan of the Commonwealth yeah it was literally so exciting they're walking on and it was that thing and it was outside and I loved how nervous I was walking so you did a little warm up boyfriend? Oh yeah, like a half hour or whatever. Only a half hour for Dave Chappelle in the arena. But it was so fun. And then I kind of thought, oh, this is the way to do it.

Did you correct me? You're so sick. I love being friends with you. I think it's so cool to watch you do this stuff. But pushing yourself and getting to that space is really exciting. And then playing America, like playing, sort of traveling across America and really trying to, I suppose it's that thing of the, it's the same as the Beatles. You know, you're, you're taking something that is a standup is an American medium.

Really, if you think about what America's given the world culturally, it's the Western jazz music and standup comedy. But great gifts. This is a George take where he says, Britain has some of the funniest people, some of the funniest comedians, but so few of the world's biggest comedians. What do you think's going on there? Why is it that the UK is able to reliably

produce a Jimmy Carr or Ricky Gervais, but most of the big names come out of the states? I think that might change over time. I think the club culture here is, is very, very healthy. If you think about the comedy seller and the comedy store in LA and the communities that they've engendered and then laterally the mothership in Austin, uh, the Joe set up and, uh, you know, I'm not, you know, yellow Springs is, is, uh, is Dave Chappelle's new thing as well, which is an amazing

space. Um, I think that thing of like, you can't beat your environment and the being around other people and coming up like it's, it's, it's scenes, it's groups of comedians that come up sort of together. So if you think about, um, uh, Jerry Seinfeld and then, um, you know, baguette Chris Rock, baguette Louis CK, all out of the same kind of comedy cellar crew. And they're all around each other all the time. I think that really helps to be part of that, that group. I wonder whether, uh, the classic British aversion to aiming too high or doing

something too different is causing that scene to just stutter a little bit as it grows. Because when I look at the best, for me, when I look at the best scene in the UK for comedy right now, I'm thinking about guys like Adam Rowe, Finn Taylor, Vittorio, the Screen Rock guys, Jacob and Jake. Like this is kind of the equivalent of the DGen podcast bro circuit from the US over in the UK. I wonder with the UK as well.

It's, it's, it is a great comedy market. Like the UK, there's a lot, you could busy yourself very happily for two years touring the UK and not have to drive far. And not, and be home in your own bed every night and then write a new show and go again. So the, the, the wonder loss that I have to go out to 47 countries on tour is maybe slightly unusual, but I think, I think as the comedy has gone global relatively recently, right, it was Netflix decided to, and obviously Netflix is based in America. So it's going to lead with the American comics. And then I think it will gradually go out around the world.

And what I'm hoping they just becomes a bigger and bigger thing because can be such a, a broad church. It's, it's kind of wonderful. I mean, I kind of get annoyed when if ever I see a comic, slag off another comic, I'm always like that that narcissism of small differences. We should go really? It's we're doing exactly the same job. Doing the same thing.

This is different stylistically. Uh, what do you? Yeah. Yeah. I love that. I love that iron maiden line. Uh, you know, don't try to be the best, try to be the only, um, I suppose that really only works if you're actually good at what you do.

Because if you're, if you're not good at what you do, you're like, yeah, I mean, it's awesome that you've created your own unique band of world of Warcraft standup comedy, uh, it's a shame that nobody except for you is into it. So, but I, you know, I do think that thing of like, there's a, with comedy, you find your, your audience. You can joke about anything, but not with anyone. And that kind of goes both ways. It's like you go, your audience is kind of, is cool with this stuff.

And maybe other people wouldn't be, but it's they, you attract your crowd and you get the audience you deserve ultimately. If you look out and you don't like your audience, you fucked up. Yeah. I mean, that is one of the most fortunate things I think about doing, doing work that is interesting to you is that you will accumulate an audience of people that you would happily hang out with. I look out at the audience at any of the live shows, the one we did in London last year, sold out the event in Apollo, which was fucking mind blowing.

I'm like, there's 7,000 eyes looking at me. And I would happily go for a coffee with like any person in the- That is such a weird way to think of three and a half thousand people. 7,000 eyes? Yes. Well, you see them in- No one is, no one thinks like that. That's a bizarre way to think about-

It's a good way to artificially inflate numbers though. You're talking to a club promoter who used to inflate numbers for a very, very long time, turning 3,500 people into 7,000 eyes. It's packed in there, mate. It's packed in. 400 eyes. Yeah. But yeah, and I would happily go for a coffee with any one of them.

And I know for a fact that there are fucking tons of people in my industry that couldn't say the same. Yes. I think that definition of a grifter is, is really powerful. Somebody who is selling a product that wouldn't use themselves. That's it. So, and we've had a conversation. We've had such a great thing.

We've had a conversation about this. I have an issue because I think it's kind of like the racism concept creep of the online course bro and influencer world that if grifter and shill means everything, it means nothing. influence a world that if grifter and shill means everything, it means nothing. And it's just a, uh, insult that gets thrown around to anybody that seems to be kind of commercializing. It's like, if you're selling anything at all, that isn't just yourself or Patreon access, this is some sort of a grift.

And what they basically mean is you are monetizing in a manner that I'm uncomfortable with. I think it's, I think it's very different for different people. Like I did, uh, kill Tony the other night, Tony Hitchcliffe, and they got a ton of merch. It's like a merch table out the front. And I saw lots of people buying it and the big fans of the show and they love it. And I sell books at the tour shows and that's it. And I don't sell t-shirts.

I don't sell pens. I don't sell mugs because I wouldn't buy it. It's that's not to say that other comics can't do that because for them, they'd go, yeah, no, a hundred percent. I would wear that mug. I would wear that hoodie. I would wear that t-shirt. Uh, what am I going to do?

That's why you've got shares in a menswear company in Savile Row. Sure. So yeah, go on. I'm going to sell Tom Sweeney suits. I'm going to have tailors on standby in the lobby. Yeah. But I asked on Twitter, I was like, for the people who use the word grifter or shill, give me your best working definition of what that actually means.

Like what is a grifter or a shill? And I was kind of, it was a little bit of a red herring question because I just assumed that nobody would be able to come up with a good definition. That's a great definition. Isn't it? You would sell something you wouldn't buy yourself is so kind of from the eighties. It slices it dices. You're going to have one of these in your life.

Well, I just think, okay, that's cool. But in that case, if you have this functional definition, it's pretty easy to work out whether somebody thank you have a new tronic new tonic, Jimmy, there's no easy to work out whether somebody. Thank you have a new tronic, new tonic, Jimmy. There's no R in it. All right. I came here with a, I came here with a fucking, uh, what's the make of the bag you've got put me on to the nomadic like, yeah, you are fully wisdom. Yeah.

Oh man. The cat, but I did think sometimes you have a, uh, elementy, uh, in the, in the morning in the cold plunge. I got the, I got the new brass monkey cold plunge. Jesus wept. So it's the one, it's the lie down one and it has ice that you break through at the top. So you feel like it will throw up ice in the morning. So no, it's just, it just feels better. I mean, I can't do as long in there obviously because it's really cold, but it's so good. I love how we've slowly sort of re-brode you as somebody that sort of turns up in the three piece suit and all the rest of it.

But behind the scenes, it's crocs and socks and cold plunges and element and pneumatic and fucking new tonic. I tell you my, let me tell you the story. So I was in, I now stay in hotels based on sauna, cold plunge, right? If they've got a sauna and cold plunge, I'll stay in that one because I like to do it every day, I find it very energizing. I'm not great with meditation, but I think there's a lot of people like me that aren't great with meditation, but I mean, I love Sam Harris is out waking up.

It's done. So I do my best. I I'm better at listening to talks about it that I am at doing it. Okay. That's fine. But then I find a lot, I can sauna and cold plunge and that's sort of the same thing, right? It's the same vibe of like, just take some time.

So staying in these places and I'm staying in this place in Austria. They've got an amazing sauna, cold plunge, right? So go into the sauna. It's like beautiful facility, huge, like 95 degrees in there, properly hot. So I'm in there and the guy goes, man, let's speak German, but shorts shorts. And it's like, we weren't supposed to be dressed. Oh, you can't. Okay.

I'm gonna take my shorts off and it's fine. There's like three guys in the sauna. Everyone's naked. Fine. We've got towels. Great. And it's fine. There's like three guys in the sauna. Everyone's naked.

Fine. We've got towels. Great. Then I do the cold plunge and I come out of the cold plunge and I don't know if you've done, you know, it's like five minutes in six degree water and there's some baby dick going on, right? There's some baby dick. And then another guy comes into the sauna.

As I get out the cold plunge. He has no evidence. I've been in the cold plunge. I'm just walking around and I'm like, I need a disclaimer. Could you come into the sauna with me for a couple of minutes until this? And then, so Sky that you've just met, uh, we went to his bachelor party in Houston and he likes Asian things, which is why the office looks like that next door. This is not, not great for him at the moment.

If he's listening out there and I've just said baby dick and you've gone, oh, I've got a story about sky. I've got a story about sky. Yeah. Um, he made us go to, I think it's called the golden temple or something. It's the biggest Asian spa in Texas. And this thing has five, nine different sauna rooms and a fucking snow room and this weird hut thing

that you've got to clamber into and the floor's heated and it's insanely hot. And through the back of the gents, kind of classic Asian spa approach is load of unisex cold plunges and saunas, but you've got to everyone's dick out. So first off, I was the only person in there with a foreskin. That was interesting. But I walked in to see Sky laid down on a bed with this small Asian man and a loofah.

And he just had a towel cover in his junk. And this guy, you know how people plane the top of varnished tables, like we're gonna get the varnish off the top of this table, we're gonna retreat it, then we're gonna re-varnish it again. And this guy had a loofah and I was watching him scrub very aggressively. I get that this might be a cultural thing. Everyone in here is naked. The guy's getting out of the sauna, per you, sort of hands are open.

I've got no problem with my manhood. Everybody getting out of the cold plunge was a little bit more sheepish about the way that they walked around. Oh yeah. This is, I tell you, you've come a long way. Is it Middlesbrough you're from? Stockton. Yeah.

This shit's a bit of Middlesbrough. Yeah. Stockton. Stockton on tees. And that's your idea of a stag do now. That was Skyzard. Shame on you. I idea. Shame on you. I know.

Shame on you. You should have been in Benidorm. You should now have some kind of antibiotic resistant STI. You went to a sauna. Not even that kind of sauna. We had a Jeffersonian dinner that weekend as well, and followed Shabbat at the same time. Yeah, no, my friends are unbelievably weird.

I have some of the strangest friends in the world. I mean, you were at dinner with us last night. You rocked up to dinner and we've got Craig Jones, second best grappler in the world, maybe the best troll on the planet. Seth Belial, who is his handler, I suppose. George Mack, your handler, soon to be one of the best writers on the planet. Zach Talander signed to Conor McGregor's record label by an ex weightlifter.

Your videographer, me, ex fucking reality TV turned podcaster person, Brian Callan and you. And I'm like, this is the shittest version of The Avengers that I've ever seen, but what an eclectic mix. Yeah, I don't know what crime we were seen, but what an eclectic mix. Yeah. I don't know what crime we were planning, but it wasn't going to go well. Yeah.

Fuck. I don't know, man. I've liked breaking out of whatever format the UK or whatever life it was that I was supposed to lead, I think. Because I don't think I was supposed to lead this one. I feel like this was kind of, you talk about self authoring an agency. I think this was something that kind of wasn't written in the stars all that much. I don't know whether you feel that way.

You started your thing late. No, I think you made a very big move, like a physical move. But I think you could have done this in the UK. I think it's the, it's not so much the physical location. It's the, it's where you chose to go. I think you, you know, you made the move seven years ago. You made the move seven years ago to sit in your bedroom and to go, well, I'm going to talk to interesting people about interesting stuff.

That's what happened. Like everything, the fact now that it's on a grander scale, neither here nor there process wise, it's the same thing. You're as inquisitive as you were early on. Unfortunately, even more actually, I think. Yeah. I didn't know. Look, it's one of the things I have two tensions, right?

I have, I have a tension between two different poles. One is I don't like to get too big for my boots. I know that it is a bit of a turnoff to people to see someone who seems to be too full of himself, especially someone that like presents in the way that I do, especially someone that's doing it through an art form that on the surface anybody can do and lots of people do do. It's slightly different if you see somebody that plays an instrument, because you think, well, as much as I might not like the fact that they're successful at the saxophone, I can't fucking play the saxophone, right?

So there is a kind of hurdle that you need to get over. So the narcissism of small differences, I think that the differences are much smaller when it comes to the art form of podcasting, cause let's, you know, it's having a chat, it's just having a chat. Well, hopefully when you do it effectively, I don't think anyone thinks that. I mean, I think you'd have to be insane to think that it's, you know, if I look at the work that goes into it, if I give it just a, the briefest thought, a cursory glance, a cursory glance at like the questions you asked, the reading

that you've done, the research, the amount of books you have to get through. The, the way that you, you need to kind of go, okay, so they've written a book, whether it's really good or really bad, you kind of have to get them to present their whole thing. It's like the presentation. It's it's a phenomenal skill set. I appreciate that. So that's on, but I'm sorry, your perception is that you shouldn't appear too successful

because you appear too successful, just appear too full of yourself. It's like, ah, you're not that special. And again, it's that British working class mindset that I'm trying to rid myself of. It's why being around people like, like George, like Zach, like Brian, like yourself, people who've got big dreams and sort of blue sky vision. It, I referred to myself as a criticism hyper responder. I over index on, uh on the criticism of others. But so that's one end right that is one end. But the other end is if somebody

that comes from the most backwater working-class bullshit town, three people living on one person's wage in the Northeast of the UK goes to a school where your entire 200 person, your group has maybe one other person that goes to university out of it. Everybody is born, lives and dies within a 20 mile radius for the most part is able to kind of rip some fucking project off the launch pad and get themselves out to escape velocity in orbit. That should be a really relatable story for most people because it's this pretty accessible

combination of effort, curiosity and stubbornness to not stop. I think it's, I think you're very working class in the best possible way and you don't waste anyone's time. I remember like seeing the, you know, they're kind of inside the actor studio thing, the masterclass, there's a masterclass thing and Michael Caine did it. Lots of actors have done it and most actors do it and they tell their life story. And I did this and then I did this and then I did this and Michael Caine did it. And Michael Caine's working class. And Michael Caine goes, when you look in a camera, I can't do it, Michael Caine.

But when you look in the camera, have one eye, look, look at this someone in the eye, but look at their, look at their left eye and cheat it. And then look the other side. So you just look at one of their eyes and the eye and cheat it. And then look at the other side. So you just look at one of their eyes and in the camera, it'll look as if you're looking directly down the lens, but also looking at them. And it's like a practical tip. He's not wasting anyone's time. It's very spit and sawdust.

He's a working class guy. He's telling you how to do the functional thing. Weirdly. I'm, I'm more working class than you think because I'm from Slough and from the farm road in Slough next to the Mars factory. I grew up on the biggest education and the current tax bill. You go, I'm very aware of like, there's, there's reputation in this character. There's how you are perceived.

Very important to know how you're perceived. You're very aware of how you perceived. There's also this character. There's who you know, you are that thing within you and like where you've come from. And the idea of like, I think people assume I went to private school. If people just get off, yeah, probably no, of course not. But I kind of know that, but you go, you can't change how people, people just have their perception

Yeah, but it's okay to lean into that. I think as long as you know Yeah, reputation management is an interesting one that people have I think So many people are concerned about what other people think of them not who they are. I had Dry Creek Dwayne. Did you watch that one? The guy with the Wrangler horse dude with the big beard. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And he just had this lovely line where he said, I like me. I'd buy me a beer.

I thought what a beautiful self-assessment. I like me. I'd buy me a beer. But he hadn't arrived there overnight. It took him a long time to become the sort of person that he liked. And I guess some people start further off. Maybe some people are more scrutinizing around who it is that they feel they need to become before they would buy them a beer.

But I thought that was a lovely internal metric of a place that we should all want to get to. I want to like me. I want to be the sort of person that I'd buy a beer. Yeah. I'd buy you a beer. This has been great. I want to know what relationship people should have with their inner critic. I think it's, I don't know, I think it's very healthy, isn't it?

It's very healthy to have an inner critic, but it's also, it's the, there's the golden rule. And then there's the, there's the platinum rule, right? There's the treat others as you want to be treated. And then there's the treat yourself as you treat others. Most people are very kind. Like you're nicer to me than you are to yourself. Like if you said the shit you say to yourself, to me, we wouldn't be friends. And I think that thing of like the inner critic has to be, it's as long as it's process driven, I think it's very, very healthy.

It's like imposter syndrome. Okay. Feel like an imposter for a while. As long as it gives you, as long as you can get that to a granular level where it gives you something to work on. Like the inner critic can't just be, it can't just be like, that's bad. It's got to be, oh, that, that didn't work. So we need to change it.

Or that one's, that one's not going to work. So we're going to write something new. It's got to be something that's like, uh, you're working towards something you're aiming up. And I think criticism is very important. I mean, Walt Disney used to do this thing where he had like the, he had three rooms, you know, this thing of like one for creativity, uh, one for sort of, um, management, like how would you do the idea? And then it was only in the third room that you were allowed to be critical. It's kind of fun idea of like going to sort of compartmentalize.

Well, I do think that thing of like never refuse the muse. If you're working in anything creative, just write it down. That something comes to you, you just, yeah, that's an avar one, right? Inspiration is perishable. Act on it immediately. Yeah. Yeah. There's a, a Tim Ferriss says the world rewards the specific ask and punishes the vague wish, and I think that sort of inner critic voice can expand out into I don't

feel good about the thing I did. Okay. Well, that's probably the first place that everybody gets it. I'm not, not really too sure about why, but there's some sense of discontent about something that just happened or something that I'm about to do. Probably very normal. You don't know where it's coming from and you don't know what it's about and you don't know what to do to fix it. Okay. So how about we get away from the vague critic and we move toward the specific coach with regards to this.

Okay. So what precisely is it that you're concerned about? Well, I don't feel fully prepared for the presentation I've got to give tomorrow. Okay. Is that fair? Do you know that it's true? Do you think that you haven't prepared enough? Oh, I actually have prepared quite a lot to be honest.

I think this is probably just my fear trying to be sneaky and sort of turn itself into a way that I'm going to believe it. All right. Well, what are you going to do about it? Well, I'll just check my notes a few more times and actually, huh, it seems like I do know this pretty well. The, the, yeah, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the,

the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the,. You know, it's, it's, it's, it's, sometimes it's right. Sometimes you fuck up. Sometimes it's not, it's not, it wasn't good enough. And that's okay.

It's like, it's the, um, it's the idea of like going, um, it's not repetition. It's iteration. It's like lots of different, you know, doing the same thing again and again, doesn't make you better. But tweaking it and knowing what to tweak is that that you have to listen to an inner critic. I think the, the, um, uh, is it Hormozi? Uh, it's Hormozi is so good for quotes, but it's, I think it was, um, uh, self-confidence without evidence is delusion.

Some version of that. Confidence without competence is delusion. Yeah. of that. Confidence without competence is delusion. Yeah. It's, it's so true. And you do meet people along the way that have that incredible confidence or they, they, they sort of exude that and then they, they don't have the confidence to back it up and you go, well, no, no, you need to, you need to be able to. So finding that, I think it's very, I think without that inner critic, I think we would all be kind of delusional wandering around going, yeah, you need to be able to buy. So finding that, I think it's very, I think without that inner critic, I think we

would all be kind of delusional wandering around going, yeah, you know. Yeah. George says, uh, there's someone with half your talent, but five times your self belief making 10 times the money. Yes. And that's, that's true for every British person. There's an American. Exactly.

Well, I mean, I think for the perennial overthinkers, reframing this very well-trodden landscape of inner criticism, a lot of the way that you can look at that is, I'm fragile. You know, my self-belief exists on a knife edge. It feels like I'm tightrope walking competence, perhaps. I think a better way to look at it is you're not fragile. You're just finely tuned. And in the same way as a Ferrari can go really, really fast, especially around a track.

But if you don't treat it very well, it's probably going to break down quite a lot, actually. And if you treat it really well, it's still going to have a couple of hiccups and days where it doesn't fully operate rightly, but yeah, you're not fragile. You're finally tuned is a nice refrain. It's so easy to be kind to other people and sometimes so difficult to be kind to yourself. I thought you wouldn't let someone else speak to a friend like that.

You just wouldn't stand for it. And yet you're in a crusade. You just like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Say terrible things to me. Just accept it as it comes. Yeah. I, uh, that idea on you had a position and disposition. This has happened a couple of times.

I misremember things that guests tell me, and then I write about the thing that I misremembered. And what you realize is that you've actually built on something that they didn't mean, and I think I told you about this before, but I'm going to, I'm going to tell you about it again. So this is after our first episode 18 months ago something like that. My chat with Jimmy Carr a few weeks ago inspired an idea. I've been reflecting on how your trajectory is way more important than your position. If you're number two in the world but last

year you were number one that is way worse than sitting at number 150 but being on a huge upward slope from 300 12 months ago. There's a few reasons for this. Recency bias. If your value is increasing right now, that means you have to be popular at the moment. By looking at recent trajectory you are selecting for only the few people who are trendy right now, which is really all that we can remember. We can also romanticize where someone will be in future if they're currently hot stuff. How high might they climb? Who knows? Maybe to the top, maybe even beyond the top. Humans struggle to realize that everything is temporary, including growth and decline. Instead, it's easier to label people as heroes and losers based on what we know of them right now,

so we don't have to predict a messy future. There's an old saying, saying that there's three types of people on the ladder. One at the bottom, one in the middle, one at the top, which one is the best to be the one that's still climbing? Yeah, no, I think, I think it's fantastic. It's very well put. Yeah, I think that especially in show business, trajectory really seems to be such an important metric. And it's like, you could be half the size of some other comic, but they've been around 20 years and they always sell out the arena. So who cares?

It's like it's novelty dopamine. This is new recency buyers. Yeah. I think there's a, there's a thing this year where, um, Oasis are playing, uh, and it's a big deal, people are very excited about it and I think Coldplay are doing, I think it's 10 or 11 nights at Wembley State. Everyone's like Chris Martin, bored of you being around for ages. Yeah, well, of course you are. Yeah.

You're a big band. But it's like, but it's not like, uh, an event culturally in the same way that Oasis is going together is there's a, there's a narrative to that and a trajectory of kind of where they are. That's and Coldplay have just been steadily, listen, and if Taylor Swift does 15 nights next year, it'll be a course. Of course. Accepted. Yeah. So that thing of like other people getting excited about it. And I think, I don't know what it feels like to be, uh, you know, in Coldplay at the moment, and maybe people aren't making as much fuss. I hope they're celebrating.

I hope they're, I hope they're taking time to go. This is fantastic. It's the question again of what, what happens when you arrive. Let's say that the things that you want to have happen happen. What then? Okay. I will be happy when I get to do Wembley. Ah, but no, I need to run it back because I need to prove that it wasn't a fluke.

I, it's got to be two nights at Wembley because you know, the goal, it's, it, that's the reason the gold medal didn't feel right because it could have been a fluke. So I need to, I need to do it twice to prove that the first one wasn't a fluke. And, oh, I, well, no, cause the three, cause the- Or is it a process thing where they just go, yeah, keep doing what you're doing, keep doing what you're doing. Keep, you know, if it's, you know, however you want to frame it, you know, if you're hard charging, you're like, if you're working hard because you go, well, this is, this is an opportunity.

It's what I like to do. Yeah. I, you know, as I've reached whatever level of micro niche,ate fame success thing that I have done. I think it's okay not to do the throat clearing on that. The British person in me has. As I've reached this level of success. It's okay to say that. Thank you. As I've reached this level of success. Yeah. The thing that I've realized is if you create all of the external accolades

that are associated with success, but the thing that you have done to get there is not fully aligned, the success feels unbelievably hollow. And this is not something that I've done with the show, but you see it in micro wobbles when episodes that I'm really passionate about, it's someone that I wake up on the morning and I'm like, I cannot wait to speak to this person. This is going to be so fucking cool. Today was one of those days. And then there's other ones where I go, yeah, I'm going to be interested in talking to this

person, but I'm not like super fired up. Even if the other episode that I wasn't super fired up about does 10 times a place or a hundred times a place. It's the, it's number one on Spotify and it does all of this stuff. Like, it was okay, I guess, like it was fine-ish, but it doesn't feel the same as something that's 1% as successful, but much more existentially aligned. And again, this is another unteachable lesson that success derived from something that isn't authentic, doesn't feel like success.

Well, it's, it's slightly that thing of like, what's the, you know, money, money won't give you happiness. Unless you earned it. Like a lottery win doesn't mean anything. It tends not to bring people happiness because they didn't earn it. But if you earn it, then it's, it's a lot of money. And it's a lot of money. And it's a lot of money.

And it's a lot of money. And it's a lot of money. And it's a lot of money. And it's a lot of money. And it's a lot of money. And it's a lot of money. And it's a lot of money. And it's a lottery win doesn't mean anything that tends not to bring people happiness because they didn't earn it. But if you earn it, then it's, it's got a meaning. It's like, there's no benefit. I'm sure I could get some kind of helicopter to fly me to the top of

Everest and have a look around. No one does that because there's nothing in it. The view isn't, I'm sure the view is great, but it's the climb is the thing. And the idea of going the episodes that really resonate with you and are important to you. And you go, well, that's just, that's giving you direction. That's the gift of going, Oh, more guests like that.

Let's guess like that. And then you're not looking and the metric that you're using is the feeling fulfillment vibe. So it's a vibe and it's, you're not looking at the figures and going, well, that went through the roof, but it's not the, I didn't want to talk to that person. I want to resonate in the same sort of way. Yeah. And I think actually a few listeners as well. I think it's actually very important to have the balance. I think it's what you don't want to do is, is, um, it's not audience capture, but it's, it's, um, you're feeling a certain way at the moment and you go, right. Well, I want to talk to these people and you could be siloed into just, okay, well, I just

talked to these guys and it could just be health and fitness. And then someone comes on and talks about economics. So you go with this boring. into just, okay, well, I just talked to these guys and it could just be health and fitness. And then someone comes on and talks about economics. So you go with this boring. I'm not really interested in, in money in that way. So whatever, but the audience might be, and then it might awaken something in you and you'll ask more interesting questions of that person than they would have got somewhere else. So it is that thing of like going actually the, for me, certainly the idea of this show

is that it's quite a broad church. And if you don't keep on split testing guests that are, oh, yeah, no, maybe I'll chat to them. That might be something. You're not necessarily the best judge of what you're going to enjoy. Right? It's, I kind of think, and maybe this is the same when it comes to the comedy stuff too, to avoid being too stagnant. I think there's been a bunch of specials that I've seen recently,

some of which have been, wow, that's like, that's really, really good. Others where you go, kind of feel like this guy did this thing before and maybe this is a bit repetitive. Well, there's a balance, isn't it? Of like, it's growth, but also in service. So you go, I was thinking, you know, comedy specials, you go, yeah, it's, all my comedy specials are exactly the same and totally different. It's me and it's 200 jokes in a row. And that's the thing. I like, you know, how much crowd work you put in there and you know, what kind of jokes it's as funny as I can be.

And I think if I released one and it was a, uh, a heartfelt story about love, people go, well, that's not, no, I didn't see much of departure. You could, yeah. Yeah. And you can do a little bit of that. You can do a little bit of talking about stuff that is meaningful to you within that, but you've, you've got to serve as well. So it's not all, it's not all for you. It's for the audience. Yeah. It's an interesting one. I, I certainly

think that if you feel like substantially aligned with stuff, the more that you do that, the less you're going to feel like the more you're going to feel connected to the successes that come along with it. I just think that there is that thing of like the success in whatever term that is, whether it's a financial lifestyle feeling, whatever, it's a lagging indicator of good decisions you made. A long time ago. Seven years ago. Oh, I'll do three shows a week. I don't know when you made that decision. COVID. Yeah, that's insane. It's an insane work ethic.

And that's me saying this. It's like, it's a lot of prep to have to do. It's a lot of work to put in. It's a lot of reps, but my God, it's paying off. Yeah. Stubbornness is a, and consistency, stubbornness or consistency is a hell of a performance in answer just. It's the one, the one way, and you've spoken about this too.

How are you presuming that you're going to be able to beat somebody who does one thing if you're doing two things? At the very least, you need to be twice as good in order to be able to keep up just with where they're at, in order to be able to beat them, you need to be like two and a half times as good. Yeah. It's, you know, you good. Yeah. You see people that are spreading themselves incredibly thinly, and they're taking, I suppose it's that thing about the things you won't do coming back to that. The opportunities that are presented to you in show business,

the things that you could be distracted by, the invites you get, the stuff you could go to and you go, yeah, but I've got to work. This is another one of those insights that I think people early in the journey need to be aware of. Essentialism by Greg McEwen was a huge influence on me. Okay.

Doing less, but better, you know, the highest point of contribution. Uh, what is that? And get, you know, very, very offensively get rid of all of the rest of the things. very offensively get rid of all of the rest of the things. But if person watching this who is trying to get more clients than they have now as a personal trainer or a person that's writing on the internet and wants to get more opportunities to go and do live speaking or whatever it is that your goal is, as you continue to get better and better and better at the thing that you do, more opportunities are going to come along, which means that your no's need to be more discerning, not

less. So you have this weird inversion where as more opportunities come along that are better, that only 18 months ago you would have begged to have had the opportunity to be in the room to have pitched to have been able to say yes to you. You now need to be able to say no. Dave Chappelle had a great line on this. Like I think someone told him very early on your only power in show business is no. He did a thing on a series two of the Chappelle show. I'm not sure if this is a known thing.

I'm sure I can talk about this. Um, on the second series of the Chappelle show, they were in negotiations and he said, um, make me an offer and if I don't like your opening offer I'm walking. It's great. Someone gave me that advice years ago like when I had a proper job they said if you get offered a you know an amount of money for a job, whatever it is, don't even look at it. Just write back and go, I'm a little bit disappointed. Don't even look at what the offer is just a little bit disappointed.

Doesn't matter what the number it helps if you don't look because you think I can't say I'm a little bit disappointed, but kind of works. Jimmy Khan, ladies and gentlemen. Jimmy, you're awesome, man. I love you. And thank you for coming to see me. Thank you for staying for an extra day. So I know you've got somewhere to go to.

It's great. I think, I think, I think, you know, I like the show. Proud to be a small part of it. I appreciate you, man. Until next time. Lovely. Take care. I get asked all the time for book suggestions.

People want to get into reading fiction or nonfiction or real life stories. And that's why I made a list of 100 of the most interesting and impactful books that I've ever read. These are the most life changing reads that I've ever found. And there's descriptions about why I like them and links to go and buy them. And it's completely free. And you can get it right now by going to chriswillx.com slash books that's chriswillx.com

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