Monday Morning Podcast - Barry Manilow, The Masters, Titty Bar Food | Monday Morning Podcast 4-14-25

Episode Date: April 14, 2025

Bill rambles about seeing Barry Manilow on mushrooms, The Masters, and titty bar food. Hims:  Start you free trial at www.Hims.com/BURR SimpliSafe:  Go to www.SimpliSafe.com/BURR to claim 50% off a new system with a professional monitoring plan and get your first month free. OpenPhone:  OpenPhone: Streamline and scale your customer communications with OpenPhone. Get 20% off your first 6 months at www.openphone.com/burr

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's time for the Monday Morning Podcast for Monday, April 14th, 2025. What's going on? How are ya? How's it going? You know what? My phone, my smartphone, oh it's so fucking smart. Um, by the way, if I hear one more of these fucking idiot nerds that are building these fucking robots for these fucking sociopaths that's going to basically wipe all human beings

out so they can have their ultimate slave labor, tell me that these robots feel all emotions. They don't feel emotions. They're a fucking robot. It's an algorithm. There's probably trigger words. So then the thing can be like, they don't feel fucking emotions. They want them to. They want them. They want them to feel emotions. You know why? Because when we're gone and it's just the robots, what's the fun of ruling something if it's not sad about it? Um, anyway.

There's my first fucking dark thought of the day. Oh my God, what to talk about, what to talk about. I went out last night, not naming any names. I went out with two friends of mine. I went to Radio City Music Hall and saw Barry Manilow and took the perfect amount of mushrooms. It was fucking tripping balls. It was amazing. I just remember just being in there

and he's like the nicest guy, such a great entertainer, puts on a ridiculous show, and he's just this kind, good-hearted person. I just remember thinking like how amazing the world is that like while these sociopaths are working towards robots and wiping all of us out, simultaneously Barry Manilow is out there doing what he does. It was like this fucking oasis of just nice people. Anyway, and all the visuals, wow. I mean, I highly recommend a nice,

a nice, you know, I think it wasn't crazy. I wasn't like tripping, tripping, but I was fucking vibing. And it was the last night of his run. The guy did five shows at Radio City Music Hall. He's like 50 years into his career. Can still sell that place five times. It's cavernous, it's huge and You could tell he was like taking it in because the guy did I swear to God it felt like he did like

Six on course and he literally sat down going. I don't want to leave you know, I grew up in Brooklyn and all of this type of stuff and I was seeing like You know looking around looking at all the different ages of his fans and all of this type of stuff. And I was seeing like, you know, looking around looking at all the different ages of his fans and all of that. It was, it was really fucking cool. And also I love like, I'd never been in in Radio City until a couple months ago, I went there and saw something. And they haven't like changed anything in there in a good way. It's literally like Superman era, you know art deco like everything it's uh

It was gorgeous. I had a great time and then afterward We went downstairs and you know There was a little meet-and-g thing, got to meet him real quick, super nice guy, a lot taller than I thought, he's like six feet tall. And I don't know, gave me a little gift bag and I left. And I was walking down the street and it was like the perfect night. Me and both my buddies laughing our asses off and just high having a great time and just saying what a, it was like the perfect fucking feel-good night and then I'm walking down the street and

there was this I can't remember if it was a mother or a father had like a one and a half year old baby girl the cutest little girl right and she had her head on his shoulder and one arm like hanging over the shoulder and I just waved to her and her face lit up and she waved back at me I was like alright that's it this is like the perfect the perfect night so anyway I got to meet some of his crew Barry's crew and they said that he plays the Westgate out in Vegas and it's the same room that Elvis played when he used to be out there, when it was called like the Intercontinental or something like that.

So I was like, oh, you got to come out. I'm like, I'm definitely going out there for that. I would see karaoke in that room, just to be in that same showroom. Forget about that show. But he put on an amazing show. And like most of those guys, when you go to see, you know, those entertainers that have been around that long, you forget how many hits they have until you start,

oh my God, he wrote this one too, or he wrote this one for this person. Just a great time, just a fantastic, perfect. One night off a week, you know, with this Broadway run, to go over and go see that man. It was definitely, definitely, definitely a special night. Not gonna lie to you, there was a moment where I was tripping a little too hard. And he had this song and there was like clouds behind him and shit.

Like heaven and stuff. And it got a little intense. But you know, I've done it enough times. And I'm just like, all it's not Barry it's you. So anyway thanks to him and everybody connected with me and my friends had the fucking we had the best time we just had the best best best time and they hooked me up with a Barry Manilow hoodie. You think I'm not fucking wearing that?

Anyway, let's go on to something else. Let's talk, let's talk the Masters, the one golf tournament I watch every year. I watch, I keep track of the score and then I sit down and I watch it on Sunday. And I have to tell you, you know, if you do that you know that you are signing up. You have a 70% chance of watching a fucking tragedy. Sunday at the Masters is one of the saddest days ever created in sports activity because you know

I still don't think golf is a sport. I think those guys are athletes that excel at it, but just the fact that you played for three hours you don't have to run, you don't have to run once you know, like most people they drive in a car you know what I mean, like it's not like, imagine if you played basketball and the other team scored a basket, and then you picked up the ball, and you drove in a cart down to the other side, and then got out, and then shot the fucking ball. But athletes play. I'm not saying that they're not all athletes or whatever, but it's just whatever. So Rory's up by two strokes.

I'm rooting for Rory. He's won every major except the Masters. So you know what that means. You know what that means. That gives every unathletic sports writer douche the excuse to say, yeah, but you know what, he can't do this. That's what they love to say, yeah, but you know what? He can't do this. That's what they love to say.

And he came real close, I think in 2014. I can't remember. It was another tragedy. Kenny Perry, all of these fucking poor bastards on Sunday, right? The shark, I remember when I was a kid, it just was fucking brutal. So he comes out and he fucking has a two shot lead

and then like after like one hole or two holes, he was like even with the guy. He fucking bogey a couple of times or something like that. And I'm like, yeah, Jesus Christ, right? So by the time they get to the turn, he's up by a stroke or two and now he's going on the back nine and this is where he fell apart in 2014 so just you know golf

takes a long time so I watched the tenth hole he fucking birdies it and I'm like this kid is dialed in he's gonna fucking do it you know rootin for him needs this one more went through a brutal divorce man-to-man. You got a fucking route for this guy, right? so I Go out to get a fucking sandwich and you know, I'm texting with verzi and he's like Rory's dialed in blah blah blah blah blah and I fucking come back and All of a sudden he had like a four stroke lead.

All of a sudden he was like tied. And I'm like, what the fuck? And I look at Verzi's text thread and all of that. He's dialed in. He's going to win it. He just writes, oh no. So I'm watching this thing and it's getting closer and closer where I got to go to Barry Manilow, right?

And I write to verzi I go this this has Tragic playoff written all over it. That's what I thought was gonna happen I was like Rory's gonna dip and then he's gonna come back and save it and then he's gonna go into a playoff and he's Gonna lose and thank God He didn't and watching him sink that putt in the emotion that he had and all of that, like that is just like, I mean, that he just has now he has a complete career. I mean, he already had a complete career, but he has such a complete career

that even the sports writers got to give it up to him. You know, and he can just now like, I bet he's going to play even better He has such a complete career that even the sports writers got to give it up to him. And he can just now, I bet he's going to play even better, because now he's going to just be able to enjoy it. He's got the monkey off his back and all of that shit. Because I don't know, I think that shit in sports, I feel like it haunts those people You know what I mean?

like you know I get heckled or whatever and I could just tell somebody to go fuck themselves for whatever reason these people in these leagues can't and Like I Can't imagine like the the level of unathletic person that sits across from them and questions their ability and their mental strength. You know, some fat guy with man tits who can't even push himself away from a Burger King is going to talk about you, how you can't sink a fucking seven-foot putt with the whole world watching. Question whether you have the right stuff as they're eating their way to their second fucking heart attack. Anyway, this is my weird way of saying congratulations Rory McElroy. Could not be happier for you. Oh my god.

And then I just also love the whole creepy vibe of the Masters. I read the whole thing and like, can you imagine what Jim Nance goes through before he does the Masters? Like the level of meditation he has to go through to make sure that he doesn't raise his voice or use the wrong word. You know, like I saw this whole thing, there's like certain words that you use at all the other tournaments,

you can't use it at the Masters. Like, I don't know, like just weird, instead of call it the crowd, you have to call it the masters. Like, I don't know, like just weird. So instead of call it the crowd, you have to call it the gallery. And the gallery goes wild. And like, that's like, like how, like you get to control. Let's see, yeah, ex machina.

You gotta have like this controlled fucking tone in your voice. Oh my God. Can you imagine, can you imagine Jim Nance when he raps on that? When he gets in his car and he drives down those trees and shit and he makes that right. It's so funny, if you've ever been to the Masters, it's like, it's this oasis of pristine,

Like it's this oasis of pristine, like, like, ideal whiteness, racism and all of that shit. And then the second you get out of there, like within two seconds you're driving by a Best Buy, a Waffle House, an Applebee's. I bet the second he makes that right or left to get out of there. He just has the window down. He just goes far. Jesus Christ. Oh, my God, like like you just got interrogated by the cops for something you did and you somehow fucking tricked them into like they didn't have enough. Oh my God.

I just can't imagine the pressure. I'm going to shout out for Jim Nance holding his tongue, using the right words, never cursing. Three fucking hours. And he just has to sit there. And everybody. Like I think out of all the sports, I don't think there's anybody who's ever been in a And he just has to sit there and everybody. Like I think out of all the sports, I don't think there's anybody who has to be more gracious and more polite than professional golfers being interviewed at the Masters, whatever

they call that place. It's kind of funny name, huh? Considering the background and the history of this country, the Masters. Yeah, there's definitely a, there's a creepy, dude, I would not want to do mushrooms and go to the fucking Masters. I would be getting, I would, you know, because then there's all those rules. I remember when you went, you know, there's like no tickets. There's these passes and the members are not supposed to sell them, but they fucking do. And the deal is, is if you do inappropriate,

if you have some sort of inappropriate behavior, somebody steps out from behind a tree and takes your fucking, your pass from around your neck and the member doesn't get it back and they get in trouble and all of this shit. So when you get these fucking things, like they give you like a lecture on behavior. I kind of, it's an odd, odd event,

but I love it if that makes any sense. So anyway, I got a gig tomorrow night. We're after do an hour for the first time since like November and I don't know how, how this is going to go. I've been running around town doing like spots 20 minutes here, 20 minutes there. But I'm doing it's a benefit. There's this old church on the Upper West Side and I ran into a buddy of mine who was doing a table read there of a script and he was saying, yeah, we do it every year to help him raise

money because developers want to knock it down and put up some other big stupid building that nobody can afford to live in. And he was like, you should do a show there. I was like, all right, I'll do a fucking show. So now I'm doing a show there. It's kind of funny to save a church from developers. I mean, I don't know what kind of church is this. I hope it's not a Catholic church. Jesus Christ.

Like, what am I saving? Who am I saving? Anyway, oh, speaking of that, I had a great fucking conversation with somebody that explained to me the book of job Not job It's not get a fucking job. It's get a job and it's the book of job and I'm listening to this this this story and the story of job is basically

Job is this really successful guy. He's got four beautiful children. He's got his lady. He has property. He's got fucking cattle and all of that shit. He's got it all. And he serves the Lord. Praises him all the time and thanks him. So God one day, for whatever reason, is hanging out with the devil,

which right then is just weird You know, I've never understood the whole God-devil relationship it's like You know You created that guy like why don't you get rid of that guy like why did you do that? You know, is that you know, like the devil is is like God's analytics. Like, you know, coaches don't have to explain their positions anymore. Why did you go for it on fourth down there? Oh, you know, the analytics said to and then all the sports writers did. No one knows what these fucking numbers are.

So they can't argue it. So you get away with it. Back in the day, it was like, why did you do that? And the guy would have to be like, well, I thought it was the right thing to do and then these fat man titted cunts would be like well obviously it wasn't explain yourself and now you're on the hot seat and then you lose your job and you got to fucking sell your house that's how it used to go but now you just get the gods the fucking analytics so god's been doing analytics forever with the devil wasn't me i gave you freedom of choice and you chose the devil you You know, these religious

people man, they're very interesting people. Like when I was sitting there going like, why does God make sociopaths? Why does he make pedophiles? Why does he make, you know, murderers and rapists and all this stuff? And I go, he makes all those people. And then my friend was going like, yeah, but why does he make nice empathetic caring people? He also makes that too, you know, you know what I mean? You know, and I'm like, no, I don't. Why doesn't he just make nice empathetic caring people? Why doesn't he just do that?

And they're like, well, you know, these are things that, you know, we, we, we won't know these answers until we die. And it's just like, okay, you just, you just fucking tapped out. So anyways, God is hanging out with the devil, having a couple of drinks, whatever the fuck they're doing. And for whatever reason, God opens his mouth up about Job saying, hey, you know, you think Charlie Manson serving you? That's nothing. Look at this guy, Job every day.

He thanks me, but blah, blah, blah, blah. So the devil gets in God's head. The devil tricks God in the story. He basically goes, well, yeah, I mean, of course he's, it's easy to serve you when you have all that money and all that property and all of that. And then God was just like, well, tells the devil to do it. He goes, well, take it away from him. He'll still serve me.

So he makes the guy loses all his fortune, his land and all of this stuff. And Job still serves him. And God goes, see what I what I, what I, dude, I called it. I called it. And the devil goes, well, yeah, of course he's still going to serve you. He still has his beautiful kids. And God co-signs on getting rid of the guy's kids. Do what you got to do. The devil kills all four of his kids. Job still serving him. And then the devil goes, well, yeah, of course, because, you know, he still has his health. And God should have been like, bro, we just killed

his fucking kids. He doesn't care if he has to sniffles, but God doesn't say that. He goes, well, take away his health. You'll see. So he just covers him in sores and all of this shit, and the guy still serves him. And like, so God wins the debate with the devil. At the expense of Job's happiness, his own children and everything that he worked for. So then God says to Job, you know, it was a test, sorry, whatever, don't worry. I'll make it right. And later in his life, Job got his,

like his wealth back, but he didn't get his kids back. So essentially the book of Job is like that Eddie Murphy movie Trading Places, except there's no Eddie, there's just Dan Aykroyd. And they take away Dan Aykroyd's wealth, his children, and then they cover him in sores. And then God goes, hey, good job. You got your farm back. Roll credits. And that's the movie. Very strange. But we're living in strange times.

So I think it all tracks. Like, by the way, I know everyone was freaking out about all those, that tariff stuff and all of that. And what it was doing to the stock market. And then everybody jumped in and it looked like just this big manipulation of the market so that rich people could get even richer and then, you know, poor people could still chant USA USA at a UFC event. I literally do not understand what's going on. First of all, I might be wrong on this this whole idea that other countries

stole our jobs Like our factory jobs and all that as far as I remember that's not the case There is a little quick history from someone who doesn't read a lot in the 1800s During the what the what was that period called? The Industrial Revolution. They had like kids working in factories like fucking 12, 14 hour days, like four, five year old kids in dangerous situations and people weren't making any money and the one guy who owned the factory was keeping all the money these robber barons

Who all should be in fucking jail, but politicians don't make any money and they just throw them money So they are the legal side of stealing No one's ever gone to jail for being a robber baron Anyway So The working man finally has enough. They start organizing unions, the Robert Barron's hire police, the army, all of these people to come in and kill these people in riots, crack their skulls, do

unbelievable sorts of damage to them to try and force them to go back to work for sweatshop wages these people Died were maimed catastrophic fucking injuries So that we could have a decent wage In this country and they had unions and all of that. So then there was like a 40 50 year period where Being a middle class person, middle class white person was the dream.

You know, because there was still racism, classism and all of that shit, right? Well, middle class is a class, you know, there's still racism. Okay. And then what happened was eventually these corporations just got sick of dealing with these unions and They're hard-nosed negotiate and all that and then they just said well fuck you then you You know keep your union keep your factory. We're leaving and they took their factories Outside of the US and went back to 1800 wages in

Mexico China wherever the hell they're building them. So then what happened was once people realized that that was happening, there was this pushback. This is how it happened during my lifetime. People were like, what the fuck? You should be making those things here. And then what the corporate guy said was, well, you know, we would make sneakers here, but to pay the American worker and everything,

the sneakers would then instead of costing 50 bucks, they now cost 700. And I was always thinking, why? It would cost 700, but I can't afford that. And what it really was, was they weren't going to lose the profit of sweatshop labor. So if they came back to America, we weren't going to work for that. And they weren't going to lose the profit of sweatshop labor, so they were going to pass it on to the consumer. That's what the fuck happened.

So all of this talk that Mexico stole our jobs, China stole our jobs, they didn't steal the jobs. They were exploited by the super rich cunts that are not patriots in this country. They're not. They're pieces of shit. So that's what the fuck happened. So and then here we are all of these years later in an effort to get you know this labor to come back. We're somehow trying to punish these other countries who've been suffering with sweatshop labor from a handful of super rich people from this country that fucked everyone in this country and everyone out of all every other country that they went to around the world make it America look bad. But what do they

do? They divide us. They have the American worker who's getting fucked, mad at the whatever other worker around the world who's also getting fucked, actually getting fucked worse, getting sweatshopped. Slave wages. So I really believe that that was happening. I don't understand what that whole fucking thing was, but all I know is once again the market tanked and a bunch of rich people right before they turned it back on again went in and made a ridiculous amount of money and they're all high-fiving with each other and I

Don't know this guy told me something a long time ago He says when you watch the Stark marker and they go like a two billion dollars was lost today He's like money isn't lost like where did it go? That's just how they frame it. It isn't lost it changes hands All right, that does that's enough of that shit Enough of that shit. It's just an it's an astoundingly Greedy and ignorant time these last ten fucking years Not even ten these last 10 fucking years,

not even 10, these last 20 fucking years, whenever we went into Iraq, for the reasons we went in there and the reasons we said we were going there was never discovered and we're still there and it bled us dry, you know, that's the fucking problem with the dollar. It's not Trump, it's not Biden, it's not Obama, it's that fucking problem with the dollar. It's not Trump. It's not Biden.

It's not Obama. It's that we went in there. We had no exit plan. We're still there and it's, it's, we're beyond fucking bankrupt. And for whatever reason, you can't talk about, we can't just be like, all right, we made a mistake. We thought you had this shit. You didn't.

Sorry about that. I don't know. I don't know. I'm probably oversimplifying all of this, but I am at least smart enough to not attribute any of this shit to a blue or a red tie. I like to think that. All right, let's do the reads here. Oh, look who it is everybody, it's Hims. All right, feeling a little stalled out in the bedroom? Through Hims, you can get some gas back in the tank with personalized erectile dysfunction, treatment options that are accessible

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your first six months, that's open phone. Phone with a ph.com slash burr. And if you got numbers from another service, they'll port them over at no extra charge. Open phone, no missed calls, no missed customers. All right, Titi Barr, hey Bill, lady listener here. Quick thing, I heard you saying that you've never eaten at a strip club before. In defense of good strip clubs and their food, I once worked at Scores in New York City and

the restaurant there, a steakhouse, served the best salmon and mustard sauce that I have ever eaten. Well, you're also in the sex industry, so let's not act like you're going to a Michelin star restaurant here. Like what are we doing here? Are you really going to tell me that Scores had the best salmon and mustard? You know mustard sauce right next to somebody's clam agape? Um the strip club has since closed but back in the day I had it almost every night I worked. You didn't get jaundice? Also I wasn't a stripper I worked coat check but kudos to that entire staff and girls nothing but class act people from my experience really

hoping to see you live this year and go fuck yourself. Well I used to know somebody that worked there and she had a different experience. She didn't strip, she did something else over there. And you know, I mean, lady, what in the fuck are you doing? You're really looking at this titty bar through rose-colored fucking glasses. All right, oh my God, the scores. Forget about these women up there prostituting themselves. They had the best salmon and mustard sauce.

And oh my God, the clientele that went there was just so fucking wholesome and classy. Listen, a strip club is a lot of things. It's not classy. It could be less sad than the other titty bar down the fucking street. All right. Foxy Lady, oh my God, we're going all titty bars this week. Hey, Champagne Room Billy, had a good laugh with you bringing up legs and eggs at the Foxy Lady. As a young kid growing up in Massachusetts during the 90s, we always used to think that ad was hysterical. Oh yeah, just to get people caught up who didn't listens, we always used to think that ad was hysterical. Oh yeah, just to get people caught up who didn't listen last week. They used to try to get people

to come to this titty bar to have breakfast before they went to work. And for whatever reason they did the ad, the guy was whispering. Like if your wife or girlfriend was in the car, you wouldn't hear him. You're like, hey guys, come on down to the Foxy, come on down to the Foxy lady for legs and eggs every Friday, blah, blah, blah. And you know, you can go there eating scrambled eggs with some ladies twat right in your face. What a way to start the day.

You don't even eat toast with your eggs when you got a clam in your face. As a young kid growing up in Massachusetts during the 90s, we always used to think that ad was hysterical. We all had some questions. Why have breakfast at a strip club? Anyway, here's a quick true story for you. The Foxy lady was looking to open another location in I'd My Town. People went berserk and a serious effort was launched to oppose the titty bar coming to town. People went berserk and a serious effort was launched to oppose the titty bar coming to town. Yes, because it just lowers the property value. The

adults decided to use kids to gather signatures to make the pitch that a bad business was trying to open up shop. I was so young I didn't have a good grasp on what a strip club truly was, but me and all my friends knew that commercial. So like a good parochial schoolboy I was, that I was, I went home with my signature pages and figured the best first adults to sign would be my parents. Wrong. My parents looked over the paper and said, I can't sign this. You'll understand when you're older. What the hell did that mean? Speaking of hell, I thought for sure that's where the nuns would tell me where I'd end up if I went back to school with no

signed signatures. Years later, I came to find out from my dad that the owner of the Foxy Lady was from my town. A solid businessman. Nothing like butter being Sopranos mobbed up. And a family friend. All he wanted to do was open up a new location in his hometown when he heard some space opened up. So much for that because he canceled the plans as the opposition gained traction. You like your eggs over easy or sunny sign up. See you on Perv Row. I'll save you a spot and the coffee is on me. P.S. I haven't been to a titty bar for about as long as you have, although I don't have a legendary story at my last outing like you do. Um, yeah, I'm sure he was like a good guy and you know him and everything, but he still

wanted to open a fucking titty bar. I mean, I get it. Your parents are fucking loyal. I don't know, that's a tough one. That's a tough one. That's a tough one. That's like, hey, man, just because I'm friends with you, doesn't mean I want that shit in my town. All right, I'm going to be honest with you, that that didn't quite have the payoff I thought it was going to have.

All right. So your dad's mom or a loyal, they're loyal. I don't know, but he also has kids. Don't you come first? I don't know, listen, you know something? Nothing makes fucking sense anymore. You know, you just want him to do, anytime nothing makes sense, I'm just gonna go, USA, USA, USA.

Ha ha ha ha. Wife's drum teacher. Alright hey B-Lon. Oh oh Elon B-Lon. I've been married to a woman for 14 years. We've had our ups and downs like any other married couple, but I wouldn't say it's toxic. We have two kids. All right, you just painted a picture.

We had our ups and downs, but I wouldn't say it's toxic. All right, so we went sideways a couple of times. We've all been there. A few years ago, I bought my wife a drum set and hired one of my friends to be her drum teacher. Oh, Jesus. Please tell me your wife's not hot.

I don't like where this is going. Things started off great. She was playing and practicing all the time. He'd give her lessons once a week and it seemed harmless. But then I noticed they would be texting a lot at all hours really, yep. I figured maybe it's just a drum mentorship and not worry about it, but it seemed to start becoming shady. They started texting about other things, life,

relationships, little jokes and stuff. One time he came into town to do a show and he texted her inviting her to the show alone, but didn't say anything to me. I saw it flash on my wife's iPad when she wasn't home and said, what the fuck that seems shady. At the same exact time, she posted a picture of me and her on Instagram, which is something she rarely ever does. The timing was shady as fuck. I confronted her about it, she swore up and down, she wasn't into him like that. I believed her and let it go. Oh boy. Oh my God. Recently she told me that he invited her on tour to work for him as an assistant. This is a two month long tour.

Yeah, dude, he's stealing your wife. She has no touring experience at all. And he is the manager of a huge band. All of your listeners have definitely listened to. He also said, I don't want me taking you on the road to affect my friendship with your husband. And of course, he never said anything to me about it. I'd like to point out that we are separated and he knows.

Wait a second. You guys are separated? Well I don't know what the parent goes, am I overreacting or is this dude trying to creep on my wife? What would you do here? Thanks and go fuck yourself. He's 100% trying to creep on your wife but you need to fix your fucking marriage. I mean if you're separated what does that mean? Did you guys have a talk? Are you allowed to date? I don't know what's, I'd have to know what the parameters are. But that guy's definitely trying to bang your wife. 100,000 fucking percent. And she's lying her ass off.

She's lying her ass off about it. And then also prepare yourself that when you catch her, she's going to blame you. That's how the math works. That's how the math works in those in those situations. I'm sorry you're going through that. I would if you want to keep her I would try to repair it. But, uh... You know, if she goes on tour, dude, you might as well just get a fucking divorce. That would...is what... But I don't know what the parameters are, so you gotta give me all the fucking information. And once again, you are writing into a comedian, you know, who has no... I don't know, do therapists get degrees? I don't know.

Um, anyway, alright, environmental protesters.. Oh Jesus, we're still on this. The environmental protesters weren't idiots. Doing civil disobedience like blocking roads and sitting in, et cetera, is what activists do when speaking politely doesn't work. You guys keep making that same point. I keep saying that. I understand that. So what they should do is inconvenience the people

that did not respond to their polite when speaking politely doesn't work. You then ramp up with the people that are ruining the environment. None of you guys are addressing the fact that you're blocking a road and somebody could be in labor or somebody could be going to dialysis. You know? Somebody could have a job that they were already late to. If you're late one more time you're fired. Like none of you guys are are you seem to not give a fuck about any of that and

you keep calling me like an idiot all right the reasoning that someone with a medical issue might get delayed is the go-to argument but it doesn't work very well since that hypothetical doesn't actually occur. What? In your head? You just literally said like, you just said that that's a hypothetical. It's not a hypothetical. It's the reality of life. Just because you don't have to deal with it, doesn't mean somebody else isn't dealing with it.

Doesn't mean somebody else isn't trying to pick their kid up and has a small window before they go to their second fucking job. Is that also a hypothetical? The end result is all everybody who's stuck in traffic has absolutely no empathy or any want to listen to what the fuck you're protesting about. It's it's one of the most ineffective ways you could ever try to make a point. It's stupid. It's stupid. I mean, if your, if your mission is to get absolutely no sympathy, no momentum, no anything behind your cause and actually have people be manipulated by the fucking cunts that are ruining the environment and just calling them a bunch of fucking hippies, then that's what you're doing.

Is that also a hypothetical? Anyway, also you can redirect to go around, like when there's parades, constructions, accidents, et cetera, which are far more common. Time out, buddy. A parade, there's a permit, it's organized, there's signs. Construction, same thing. Accidents. A police show up, ambulance shows up, and you know, there's that moment where it's blocked, okay, and that's a different scenario. Somebody's like got hurt, and then they direct traffic around it. These are terrible

examples. We can't block this road because there might be an ambulance is not very well thought out. Listen, you just keep claiming this and then you can't, I don't know, am I nuts? I don't think you're supporting your opinion. You just keep saying that all of my shit is hypothetical and that it's not well thought out. Well, explain this, please write back. Like, how do you get people on your side and to see your position by pissing them off? All of those people stuck in traffic,

you're telling me that you inconvenience with your civil disobedience, then go, you know what? These people are ruining the environment. I need to be active. They're not, they're all driving by you, giving you the finger. It's stupid. And it's self-involved. And it serves no fucking purpose.

What so fucking ever. It's the most ineffective. Like, okay, that would be like if my wife was doing something to me, and I didn't like what she was doing, and rather than sitting down and discussing it with her, you know, or just sitting down and discussing it with her, you know, or just having a blowout fight or like keeping it about her, for some reason I go next door and I start fucking yelling at the couple that lives next door.

Screaming and yelling to them about my fucking marriage so they can understand what the fuck's going on in my house like and waiting for them to get on board for my cause. Whatever the fucking just whatever it is. She's spending too much money on the credit card this month. And there's no ramifications for her. I'm gonna go next door and fucking inconvenience those fucking people And start screaming and yelling and then they can't enjoy their fucking dinner and somehow in that civil disobedience They're gonna get on my side and then my wife is somehow gonna change and not spend too much money on a credit card That's what you're saying, all right No, I just think that you've boughten into this ideology

and you know, I don't know. I just feel like you're, you're, you're, you're, you, you, you, you wrote a lot of stuff and you didn't prove one fucking point. You just dismissed everything that I said by saying that they were hypothetical and that my ideas were not well thought out. And then you compared a parade to a protest,

something that's organized, everyone's aware that it's going to happen and then they can take action to not be inconvenienced by it. I would actually say that your thought was not well thought out. All right, plastic apps apples and toxic cows. Hey, Billiard. Yes Gates got his floppy little hands in coating apples with plastic, but that is in the US. In Europe, he's doing the same type of shit by giving cows this... I don't even know how to say this word. B-O-V-A-E-R.

Additive that changes how cows' very delicate ruminant digestive system works. So he, in his head, can save the world from ice melting cow farts. This is why I don't believe Jesus is coming back. Like what is he waiting for? How many more signs of the fucking apocalypse can there be? Already signs this additive causes male fertility problems. Oh, that's probably on purpose because, you know, the real problem is the population problem. For those who consume the dairy, we know nothing about the discomfort of the cows. We know nothing about the long-term farmers' needs. Chernobyl protective gear to handle this stuff. And they haven't even told the consumer they have used it.

Testing trials have ended up in supermarkets. Dude, what the fuck? Cows eating grass is somehow not good enough for these estrogen surplus billionaire cunts. Bill Gates and the Tesla guy is apparently so smart but not smart enough. Dude, the Tesla guy is not a smart guy. He's a shrewd guy. He didn't invent that electric car. He didn't even start the fucking company. He came in afterward and then he sued the board so he could be named a creator he didn't start PayPal he came in and he bought it it's the Steve Jobs thing all over again like he stands next

to the invention like smiling with his fucking turtleneck on anyway where was I Bill Gates and the Tesla guys apparently so smart but not smart enough to figure out the poison food supply is what has given them mantits. I don't believe in climate change, so this is a solution to a non-existing problem. And the more of the conti... You don't believe in climate change, okay. You don't think that we're having an effect on the planet. You just think this is just normal. Do you think it's normal that we no longer have a spring and a fall? The more of the continuation of the endless war on cows and actual nutrition. But if you do believe in climate change, how about stop all the pointless wars, I agree with that first, before you fly planes into dairy farms.

I agree with that last thing. I don't agree with you that climate change is not a thing. But I'm also not a scientist, so the fuck do I know? But I do stand with you on stop fucking with the food supply. Why do these guys get to decide that? I'm fucking... with you on stop fucking with the food supply. Why do these guys get to decide that? I'm fucking. And why is he wrapping the apples in plastic? I feel like what he's trying to do here is he's trying,

he's trying to like kill off people in, you know, in a nicer way. Let's just make them, make the guys not fertile, they can't have kids. Let's, you know, let's get plastic in their brains so they're too stupid to realize what we're doing. I mean, this is like a way bigger upgrade from, you know, the usual genocides that that they do oh boy oh Billy Billy dark planet here anyway I'm excited to do this show slash really nervous tomorrow

night to go up and and have to do an hour stand up but I have to do it because the second this play ends you know I have to go do some shows overseas. And here's something I don't know if I've shared this with you. One of the coolest things about this play that I'm doing is how excited everybody is still to be doing the play. And every night at the after the curtain call, we all ride down in the elevator together. Everybody's taking off their Glengarry ties and all we do is talk about the play. And like, oh man, I was in the office and you gotta laugh on that. What did you do? I, you know, or, you know, hey, you know, you know what I think this line means? I think I figured,

I thought it meant this, now I think it means that. And everybody's just sort of chiming in and I just think that that whole like vibe is why we're having such great shows and I can't believe it this is week number six out of 16. It's already we've done 40 shows already. It feels like we did 10. I'm having so much fun. So anyway if you're coming this week I hope to see you after the show. Everybody's been coming out Saying hi to the crowd afterwards. It's been fantastic and I

Got to go hit the fucking gym All right, cuz I'm in shape again. I don't be fucking Billy balloon tits here. All right, that is the that is the podcast Go fuck yourselves and I will check in on you on Thursday