Monday Morning Podcast - Belfast, Movies, Nukes| Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 6-25-26

Episode Date: June 24, 2026

Bill rambles about Belfast, going to the movies, and nukes.(00:00) - Thursday Afternoon Podcast(35:57) - Thursday Afternoon Throwback - 6-25-26 - Bill rambles about the great Vinnie Paul, music festivals, and hair transplant scars.Thursday Afternoon Interlude: PEARL - Nate Smith, Kiefer, CARRTOONS, Kenny BeatsSimpliSafe: Right now, you can get 50% off your new system by visiting http://www.SimpliSafe.com/burrHims: Get simple, online access to personalized, affordable care for ED, Weight Loss, and more, visit http://www.Hims.com/burrTruewerk: Get 15% off your first order at http://www.TrueWerk.com with code burrSquarespace: http://www.Squarespace.com/burr for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, use OFFER CODE: (BURR) to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.ShipStation: Get started with ShipStation today and get sixty days free at http://www.ShipStation.com with code burr.TOUR DATES ▶ http://www.billburr.com/tourMERCH ▶ https://billburrmerch.com/INSTAGRAM ▶ https://www.instagram.com/wilfredburr/APPLE ▶ https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/monday-morning-podcast/id480486345SPOTIFY ▶ https://open.spotify.com/show/5SFiQlOQ3EKmwp0chE1QzY?si=4e6149a2ba584182WEBSITE ▶ http://billburr.com  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Byrd. It's time for the Thursday afternoon just before Friday, Monday morning podcast. And I'm just checking in on you. Woo. What's going on? How are you? Oh, wee Billy Burr is still in Belfast.

Doing a fucking acting gig. Oh, we Billy Burr went out for a fucking sandwich the other day, and you know what he did? He lost his wallet. I had on me sweatpants. had a wee little pocket for my wee little wallet. Everything's wee over here. I fucking lost my wallet. All my credit cards, my ID, the whole fucking thing.

And I never lost my shit. I fucking back traced it, man. And I went back to where I was. And they were like, Roy, we don't have it, mate. Right. Fuck off. Ginger cunt. And I'm like, okay.

So I leave and like three days goes by. You know, I immediately cancel all the credit cards, but I was worried about my ID floating around in Belfast, you know. And lo and behold, production on the movie got on it. We filed a police report, bang, bang, boom. All of a sudden we go to the lost and found one of the fucking play. And there it is. I got me wallet back.

With all the money in it, I just want to say thank you to whoever it was that returned my wallet. All right, you're a good cunt. He's a great cunt, top cunt. Or she. All right. God bless you. There are good people in the world.

Good things do happen in the world. You wouldn't know it by the people who run the world. But everybody else is fucking cool. That's what I've learned. Oh, Billy World Traveler going around the world. Both hemispheres, I've just found. that generally speaking people are cool. It's the sickos.

It's the fucking sickos at the top. You know, but there's some people at the top that are cool. And there's some regular people that are fucking psychos, right? There's been plenty of people that, you know, they were like a teacher or whatever and also like a serial killer. So I'm not like glorifying either side. I'm just speaking in generalities. Anyway, so, but I was happy that, you know, I didn't, I didn't fucking,

oh, Billy doesn't do that anymore. I had a little bit of a fucking starting to slip back to my old ways, and I realized, hey, you know, this whole having control of your emotions is like going to the gym. You know, you got to be going or else, you know, you lose what you put into it. So I've gotten back into meditating, journaling, and just being like, You know, trying to keep the door open to, so I have, uh, you know, access to all emotions. I can be, you know, disappointed as opposed to just, you know, happy, mad. I don't give a fuck.

Like to, you know, like to expand the palate there. Anyway, so we were here for a few days and we were like, wow, what the fuck? Belfast doesn't have a lot of shit to do and everything closed. is at five, and it's just like any other city. About four days in, you're like, oh, this is where the people go. Oh, he's another cool street. So they have like these long streets, like a mile long. Some of them, one of them we went through was like two miles long of nothing but cool

shops, restaurants and cafes that you can go to. But like, you know, where we were at was every like centralized area or whatever. There's always some fucking bourbon street, time. Square, Hollywood sign. That's just a jerk off place you don't want to be at, you know? And then you have, all right, if you live in this city, where do you go? So we were able to figure that out. But I am so fucking relieved.

I got my wallet back. I was really, I was upset. I didn't get mad. I was just like, I was worried. That's what I was. I was like, what is this fucking me now in this. day and age of AI and all of this fucking shit. What does this mean? So fortunately, I didn't have to find out. So anyways, there's that. I also watched the latest Moto GP. Wow, what a

fucking weekend, huh? And Czechia, what do they call it? Czech Republic, whatever they call it. The sprint race, Marco Bysheki, the championship leader, wipes out for like the third time this year. in a sprint race. And I don't know what happened. He slapped like two marshals. I don't know why. He gets like upset, you know, when he starts fucking slapping people

like Bert Reynolds on Cannonball Run when you would watch the bloopers. So he evidently, he hit the wrong two people or he's done it before. I don't know what, but they suspended him. But a whole fucking race on Sunday. And wouldn't you know it? Mark Marquez.

Well, first of all, Peco Boniayi won the sprint. Iago was second. Pedro Ocosta crashed again. That poor bastard. Then his bike quit on the final lap. He's having a great race on Sunday. And Iago came in second place both times. Dude, that kid is the future.

Him and when Pedro Costa gets on a goddamn bike that doesn't crap out on him in the final five laps. I feel like I've seen that like three times this year. I think those two kids are going to be the future. future whenever Mark Marquez decides he's tired of winning championship. So he came back on Sunday and did what he usually does. He gets into second place and then just rides up on the leader and waits for them to chew up their tires or make a mistake. And I don't know, he passed his teammate, Pecco, with like four laps to go. And then that's it. That's it. And then O'Gura was in third. And

And then he passed Pecco, and then I think that's how it ended. But, uh, Markov Shecky just fucking, if you see that clip, I don't know what movie it is, of Bernie Mac just walking on that train platform, slapping everybody. I feel like that's what the fuck he, when he crashes out, he gets mad at other people. He gets mad at people that didn't even work on the bike. I could see if he went back into the pits and he, you know, decided to blame them, which would be crazy because it's,

like, dude, last I checked, you're leading this fucking thing. So we must be doing a good job here. I think what you're trying to say, Marco, is you're fucked up and the bike slid out from underneath you. I think that's what you're trying to say. I think, you know? I don't know. I don't make the goddamn rules. So I think there's like one or two more races before they go on the break. And, I mean, that was... Mark Marquez came in third, and then he came in first place. so I don't know how many points that is. I think if you win the sprint, you get 10 or 12 points, no more than 15, and you get like 25 or something if you win.

I'm not good with the numbers, people. But all I know is he picked up like around 40 points on Bishiki, and he's like right back in this shit, and he got his shoulder repaired and his foot is healed, and he's got like another race or two before the break, and he's going to be even more rested up. That all lines up to, Bershecky's got to stop bitch-slapping people

after he fucks up on a bike. Or Marquez is going to get championship number eight. Who knows? Who the fuck knows? So, anyway, I did my first day on the movie on Tuesday. I had a great time. By the way, I have this bastardized, like, fucking, in English, Scottish, and Irish accent

that I've been doing over here. It's all just fucking... It's all just a big super shit. It's a little Jason Statham. It's a little bit some of the Scottish comics I met a long time ago when I went over there and then whatever I picked up in Belfast. But it is not...

It is not good. Whatever it is. It's annoying, I think. I think it annoys people. But you can't help but do it after a while. It's just fun to do. But anyway, Belfast is a fucking, it's a good town, man. Good town, good people in here, you know,

when they're not fucking trying to attack immigrants. You know, but I do see, like, some good signs. I saw a few signs up there, says immigrants welcome, racist, not, you know? So it's good to see, you know, the smart people over here are writing signs too. You know, dumb people love to fucking spray paint walls. It's about time the smart people started fucking doing. on the same goddamn thing.

Anyway, plowing ahead here. So I gotta work the next couple of days. And so I get some ideas of some shit that I want to do. But I will tell you, man, if you like riding motorcycles and stuff, Ireland along the coast is...

I had to go somewhere today to check out a location. And we went up the coast again. I got to tell you, man, Jesus Christ. And the roads are all, you know, plenty of turns and that, and they got some sweepers and all of that. It's really fucking... Because who's getting who? You can't really sightsee on a bike.

I mean, what are you looking at? You can't... You got to, like, pay attention to what you're doing. But whatever. It's still, you know, it's all that fucking Game of Thrones looking stuff, man. And all of a sudden you just go by a castle. It's really, it's really gorgeous out here. And, oh my God, dude.

My, you remember that fucking, they made that great movie, George and Tammy. And they had this thing because it was about George Jones and Tammy Wynette. And George Jones really battled the bottle his whole life before he finally quit. He could quit a bunch of times. But they had this thing. the movie where whenever uh george was thinking about drinking he'd kind of do this thing that kind of do that with his teeth just had a taste for it you know and then Tammy would oh George look at this and try to distract him so he wouldn't he wouldn't go back to his drinking

ways and uh I got to tell you Belfast is a very difficult place to not just sit down and have a pint. Like, I don't know what we're doing over in America, but we just don't have the right glasses. There's something about the glasses that they put beer in in Ireland, Scotland, England. Oh, my God. Antwerp, Belgium was probably the hardest place I ever went where I was just going to be like, you know, I'm overseas.

It doesn't count that bullshit. When I was in Antwerp, they, you'd go into a bar and they would have a hundred i mean i didn't go in but i were just looking in they had like 50 fucking beers on tap and each beer had its own special glass so however you pour it in the way the head of the beer everything to give you the maximum flavor as you drank this beer and I was just like, why the fuck? Why the fuck? Didn't I come here before I quit drinking?

So I can tell you that. If you're about ready to get sober, I would go to Belgium. If you're going to have one last good one, I would do that as opposed to face planting in a fucking apple bees, you know? Because when you go up on A.A. night and you get to share. Don't you want to have something different? You know what I mean? So maybe one of those sober drunk chicks finds you interesting. You can put your life together. Two of you guys can just sit around eating donuts and smoking cigarettes down to the filter,

help keep each other fucking sober. I don't know. Anyway, I'm looking forward to the next couple of days. And I, you know, I felt great on set on Tuesday, but now I had the next day off. And then from here on out, I'm just working. And I don't know, 24 hours off is enough to get my demons going. I kind of understand how my brain works now. And I just have to remember like, hey, Bill, remember, you know, remember every gig you've ever had and you're stressed and it went great? You ended up having a good time?

like why does this have to be your process just fucking relax so what I do is whenever I start to feel like that anxiety I just start like reading the script and I get excited to do it again and then rather than you know when you get anxious

you kind of like procrastinate so if you prepare that gets rid of the anxiousness and then you can actually have a good time I mean I don't know why it took me close to 60 years to learn all of the shit. But I did. So I'm trying to pass it on to you if you're a fucking lunatic.

If you're a fucking lunatic like me. I'll tell you what is killing me. Is the Isle Man just happened, the TT race. And I didn't realize, I always thought the Isla Man was kind of north of Scotland. Some other thing that's like part of the Scandinavia or the Nordic countries. There's some fucking random island.

up there. I always get that confused, but like, the Isle Man, it's four hours by boat. So I imagine if you jumped on a little puddle jumper, you're probably over there in like 40 minutes. I'm doing a gig Saturday night here at Ulster Hall. And thank you to everybody that bought the tickets. I'm looking forward to doing that. Sorry, I got the hiccups here. But I'm thinking next year, my schedule permits maybe I come back to Belfast do another gig

because I'm not playing the biggest place out here and then afterward fly over and go do the gig I mean go see the motorcycle race although there's a part of me thinking like you've got to make your reservations now you know if you're going to have a place to stay

and oh my God I don't want to be in a city I don't want to be in town because I feel like that's where people wipe out and die. I don't want to see anybody die. I just want to see somebody go by as a blur. So I don't know.

If and when that happens, you know, I'll ask you guys. I know somebody listened to this has gone to the TT and can give me some fucking advice. So anyway, plowing ahead here. Oh my God. How did I almost forget this?

So last night, I had worked that day and I they you know I didn't have I only was like taking the first scene so then I had the rest of the day off so I went with my lovely wife there's this movie she's been wanting to see

that everybody's been watching called Obsession and I go alright I'll go see that with you she goes just like you know it's kind of a horror kind of thing and I'm like I don't do I don't do well with those movies you know I'm I don't know what happened. When I was a kid, I could watch Friday the 13th. I don't know, somewhere along the line,

you know, I just had too many moments in my life where I'm like, oh my God, what's going to happen next? Like, from the time I was a kid to, I don't need to like, I go to the movies to like, either watch an incredible story or I go to the movies to watch one guy beat the shit out of 40 people in a bar. Like, that's, that's the scope of my cinematic. abilities. I don't go there to fucking like, because I, whatever I go see, I take the fucking ride.

Like, I understand what this is, you know? So if I'm going to see a horror movie, it's going to scare the shit out of me because I'm not going to remind myself that I'm just watching a movie. Because there is like this thing with people who watch horror movies. That movie didn't even

scare me at all. Like, oh, it didn't in the comfort of your own home when you watched it or the fucking movie thing? Because you didn't take the ride. You missed the whole point of it. Oh, in defense of you, unless it did suck. But I'm just saying, generally speaking, it's kind of like, you know, you take NyQuil. You can fight it off if you want to. But if you take the ride, you know, you wake up the next day, like, what the fuck happened? So she tells me that it's, you know, she lets me know what that is. But, you know, I love my wife to death. So I'm like, I'll go, I'll go. I'll go. She goes, I don't know how bad it is

whoever. So I go to see this movie and it was fucking amazing. First of all, Andy Richter was in it. And that guy, I can't even count the amount of times that guy saved my ass on Conan's talk show. Always was there. Whatever I did started the bomb. He always jumped in and always had a good line. Always helped me out. So I love that guy. And then there was all of these new actors that I, you know, kids I had never seen. The lead who plays Nikki Freeman, I'm going to fuck. up the name. I think it's Indie Navarette or Navaretti. Oh my God. The amount of emotions that she had the show and did was fucking incredible. Michael Johnston, Megan Lawless, and Cooper Tomlinson. All of them were fucking Tomlinson were amazing. And then there was this guy that I loved

Darren Tunder. I hope I said his name right. He had a fucking great scene. I'm looking at all the names here. Haley Fitzgerald was great. They just were fucking great. And it was one of those movies where you talk about it afterward, you try to figure out what's going on. You know, it definitely...

What gets me going in those fucking movies other than this scary thing is I fucking hate when the characters do something that I wouldn't do. It's like, you're out of there. Why would you go back? Just get in your car. and fucking drive away.

And I get the reason why it doesn't because that would be the end of the fucking movie. So I'm sitting there and whatever the danger is. I'm not going to, no spoiler here, I'm not going to ruin it. The person gets out of it and then fucking goes back to where the danger is. And it's like, Jesus, fucking Christ. I could finally fucking breathe. What are you doing going back there?

But there's like, there's so many different, like, themes that are going on in this movie. And, you know, me and I the next day were looking up reviews of it. And overall it was positive. But one person was saying that, you know, there was a lot of stuff that wasn't explained. And it's like, well, that's kind of the fun of a movie. Like, for me, anyway, one of the things I fucking hate the most

is when a movie just leads you around by the nose and you're supposed to like, you know, like, they're trying to, like, lead you to this conclusion that they want you to have. I remember that a long time ago. It was like this movie about a...

I forget the name of it, but it was a movie about... Monster. That Charlize Steyr-on movie. And it was great. The performances were great. Everything was fucking great. But I just felt the way

that they were doing it. was they were arguing her defense in the movie, that she was not actually a bad person, that the reason she was the way she was was because she was abused by men, therefore in a way she was justified for what she was doing. And they just steered in it too hard. That was my only complaint about that movie. And then what was funny was I looked up the real person

and they admitted that they were just saying all of that shit so they wouldn't get the fucking electric chair. She was like the real person was going, I was doing the lies. I was doing the lies. But also, in defense of that movie, I was a really walled-off psycho

that had a lot of issues with women, which was why my act was the way it was back then. And it was like, in all of the shit that I was saying about women, I didn't really believe that. I was saying that because I thought that that's how you were supposed to be as a guy like,

you know, fuck these chicks. I was doing all of that shit. Because, you know, in my head, I was secretly like, no, I want to find love and I want to be married and have a family. I just don't know how to do it

because I'm a walled off psycho. And rather than facing that part of me, what did I do as a young man? Oh, I'll just blame what I really want. And I'll act the opposite of what I really am. It's just, you know, the dumb shit you do when you're young, younger. So I should probably watch that movie again.

Anyway, so long story short is we saw it. We had a great time. And there's some other horror movie that's out. And also, what I think is cool is, I think the person who directed is only like 25 or 26 years old. And they made a hit movie. How fucking great is that? You know? It's going to keep going. You know, the torch has been passed. There's another, you know, great young director out there that's going to make great movies for young people. The way it happened when I was a kid, which I love. As an old person, you're like, good, there's still a few things left that we used to do

or that, you know, I think is cool and people are still going to want to go do it. So that's, that's, that's fucking all right. Anyway, and it's also great that, you know, it didn't cost a lot of money and it made a ton of money. you know that helps everybody in the business that I'm in so there you go there you go there's one to fucking grow on so I forget what the other one is called um but she wants to see that one too and uh so you know I'm all right let's let's go fucking see it easy going bill what do I give a shit about you know I get to play this cool character I'm doing a little bit of stand up I get to be in Belfast for a couple of weeks? Because I've only been here one time. I came up. I played

Ulster Hall and I got a quick tour around town and then that was it and I left. So to be here for a couple weeks is pretty fucking cool. And other than that, I think that's... All right, let's do the reads for the week here. Oh, look who it is, everybody. It's simply safe. You know, in the U.S. there's a break in every 26 seconds. That means somewhere right now, an intruder is getting closer. Jesus. Christ. The problem is most security systems only alert you after a break-in has already started, and that's too late. That's why I chose Simply Safe to secure my home using the Outdoor Camera Series 2 and the advanced AI alerts SimplySaf's U.S.-based live agents identify threats on your

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that we have. Yeah, like, you know, there's things that we say that we're winning, that the rest of the world is saying we're not winning, and there's things that we're saying we're doing. And then people like, no, they're actually doing this. So it's, you know, it's traveling. It's very interesting. Yeah.

There's kind of like something that just recently happened that I always felt like that was, our vulnerable point is I feel like no one's really going to like full on go after us in a military way. I don't think because

we've shown the world we're crazy enough to use a nuclear device and then we did it another time just to be there you go. These things aren't just for show. We're crazy enough to fucking use them, right? So I feel like they will go after us economically. that's how, you know, if we don't stop being assholes to everybody,

we're going to need some fucking allies out there. Like, if I was running the shit, we should be Mr. Nice Guy right now. You know, walk the walk and talk to talk, because we are bankrupt, and we've been bankrupt for a long fucking time. So the whole thing can get toppled very easily if a couple people get together decide that they're going to, you know, it's like a survivor if all of a sudden

you get a crew together and they vote you out you're fucking out that's it that's fucking it so I think our latest field trip into international waters sort of exposed our underbelly I hope I'm wrong

but those are bigger problems than me because I will tell you like everywhere I go people are cool. People are cool. The fucking leaders. I'm telling you, I hope eventually, you know, all of these psychos that are like

millionaires and who would want to be a billionaire. And a billionaire, they want to be a fucking trainer. Train now, I mean, it's a little. Like, at some point, they should look at those people the same way you look at somebody who's, like, addicted to heroin. Like, they're like nodding off with power

and money. And they're insatiable. And, uh, I will say, generally speaking, when they show these people, they don't look happy. They don't look at them and be, oh, look at that guy. It's just full of joy. There's a few.

You know who looks happy, the billionaire that looks happy? He's that guy with the hot air balloon. Richard Branson, he looks like one of those fucking lion tamers in Vegas back in the day. He always seems like he's having a good time. I got an airline, I got some record stores, I got a fucking hot air balloon. You know? He hasn't showed up on any list. He just always has a new chick, and he's got an ear ear grin.

He's got that Chuck Norris beard. You know, if you're just good at business and you're not fucking anybody over, you know, not making any money off false flag wars, you know, he gives a shit, right? Anyway, I'm babbling here. All right, that's it. I'm going to go look at my lines for tomorrow. Once again, thank you to that person to return my wallet.

Jesus Christ, there's one for you. When you're on the fucking... Just in general, if you're out and about, don't fucking stick your wallet in your sweatpants pocket and then sit down in one of those fucking chairs that angles backwards, because you're going to get up, you're going to be a little lighter. All right, that's it.

Enjoy the weekend, you cunts. And the music, Andrew Themis, is just going to pick out in a bonus episode of the Thursday afternoon, just before Friday, Monday morning podcast. All right. Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Byrne.

It's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday. June 25th, 2018. What's going on? How are you? How you doing? How you doing with the summer? The summer's here, right? We're in the 20s.

of June, somewhere along the lines the first day of summer. You know, back in the day, you used to know it, right? Because there wasn't as many channels and you would watch the local news. And they'd bring it up. Today is the first day of summer. Tell us, Jack, what can people look forward to weather-wise?

Well, I'll tell you, Mike, we got a low-pressure system coming in, so don't inflate those fucking above-ground pools. Yes, yeah. And then they'd laugh for no reason. your weekend's going to suck. Anyways, it's got to be the summertime, right? The fucking sun's out.

There you go, right there. Global warming. What'd you do this weekend? I have a couple of Coors Light. That's this generation's Budweiser. Right, Coors Light, they're crushing it. You know, Peyton Manning fucked up. You notice the second Peyton Manning fucking Budweiser.

Now it's second place. You know, he didn't buy it. He bought into it. The second he fucking got in that, I bet he started pointing fingers at everybody. You know, we had some hoppsh issues, right? And all of a sudden, nobody's getting along over there. And course lights. Now course lights ahead. Right. I bet Tom Brady invested in course light. Sorry, why would I do this? I like Peyton Manning. Now that he's retired, you know, I could look back and be like, you know what? That fellow was quite a quarterback. But when they're playing against your team, you hate him. It's stupid. You don't hate them. You just hate them.

It's weird. Anyways, the summer's here. I am back from vacation. And I'm getting ready this weekend. Oh, freckles shaking off the cobwebs. I'm going to be in Minneapolis, Minnesota, and Detroit, Michigan. Okay? A couple of Joe six-pack towns, you know, where they put their pet to one leg of the type.

Looking forward to that And so I'm going to be Around L.A. doing a bunch of spots Shaking off the dust I'm on the elliptical Working off the croissant Pano chocolate I never had any of those

You know my wife's into those fucking things I like the plain old boring White Guy croissant I don't need any flavor Anyways Oh my God I don't want to talk about this early on, but I have to do out of respect.

It's a sad, sad, sad, sad day, the passing of the great Vinnie Paul, drummer of obviously Pantera, damage plan, and hell yeah, good Lord, what a loss. Can't even put it into words. And I was lucky enough to meet him. He was a big comedy fan. And I remember the first time I met him, I was opening for the late great Charlie Murphy. This is what happens when you get older. Like half your stories, just like half the people in them are like fucking dead.

It sucks. But anyways, yeah, me, Charlie and Donnell were on tour and we did the Addison Improv. And I remember that. That was one of those shows, one of the few times I ever went over without even realizing it. I always knew when I was going over, but I did like 40 minutes and I was supposed to do like 20, five. It just one of those, I just left there, was talking and I don't know what happened. And Charlie was cool with it, but I was embarrassed because I never do that shit. And it's a real cunty thing to do. And it's something, you know, makes the headliner's job more difficult

because you ate up all of that extra time wearing them out and all of that shit. So I do remember that from that weekend. But one of those shows, it wasn't the show when I went over, but I was standing after the show selling my CDs. This is how long ago this was. It was right around, it was 2004. His brother was still alive. And I was just standing there. And I just looked up and he was standing right there.

Vinny fucking Paul. And, you know, it wasn't like he was Vinny Paul offstage. He just was Vinny Paul. He had the fucking cowboy hat on, you know, this shirt with flames on it and shit, these crazy cowboy boots. And he was just standing with a big smile on his face. And I was just like, oh, I mean, this guy is like a guy who saw on the cover of a modern drummer.

I couldn't believe it. I was like, I was like, holy shit. You're fucking Vinnie Paul. He just started laughing. And, you know, it was super complimentary about the show and all that. And then he invited us out. He had his own club out there, gentlemen's club. And we all went out there.

And he was. nice enough. I actually sat with him in his club for like 45 minutes like a total drum nerd and asked him all of these questions about

drum parts that he did and like who were the guys that he listened to? And, you know, I asked I was like, you know, who do you think? One of the underrated drummers out there and he was like, oh, Alex Van Halen, you know? And we went on

and on about him. It's kind of ironic because I really feel that Vinnie and Dimebag were the Eddie and Alex, I should say Alex and Eddie of their generation. And it just sucks, man. He was just such a nice guy. And then after that, he probably came out to two or three other shows. And he always was smiling. Always was just the greatest, nicest guy. And it's, I don't know, one of the reasons why I never got into double base playing was because so many people I just felt like once like all their fills everything was just their fucking feet and their hands stunk and it didn't groove it just was going nine zillion miles an hour and you know it was impressive to look at but it didn't it didn't give me the chills didn't make me want to do it and he was a guy that changed that and I when I

listened to him play my younger brothers were into Pantera I fucked up I never saw him I remember one of my brothers went to go see him was telling me how amazing the show is. But to be honest with you, like, I just, you know, concerts were different back then. You could get fucked up at a concert. And there was no cell phone footage. You just got fucked up and that was it. And there was like mosh pits. Like it just, it had changed.

And I got a little bit older. I was in my mid-20s, basically, when they came around. And I had already started doing stand-up and shit. And, you know, I remember going to a couple of. you know, concerts like ACDC and shit and people were doing blow. And it was, you know, it was a little fucking, you know, there was, you had to be like a certain level of fucked up just so you could stay relaxed so you could kind of navigate it. You know what I mean? You couldn't be sitting there looking fucking nervous.

And I, you know, and that was just like ACDC, which was always like a fun show. So like with this Pantera came in, it was a new level of aggression and anger. Certainly, you know, with Phil singing. I had never heard anything like that. And, you know, just the way, I was just, I just had this feeling. I was too afraid. I was, I'm going to fucking go down there. My fucking orange hair trying to grow it out.

It just gets bigger and bigger. And it looked like Bernie from room 22. And there's a mosh pit. I'm going to get this. You know, how I always got over with people was making them laugh. And the show was going to be too fucking loud. So if they were just going to look at me the way I looked, I mean, I just felt like it wasn't going to go well. So I was a fan.

from afar and I really fucked up by not seeing those guys and I remember when Vinny came down on the show he said hey you know I got this new this new band I think it was it was damage plan he said we'll play in New York and he said he goes

he goes I'll hook you up I said really he said dude he goes you can fucking stand right behind me while I play the whole show and of course I had some fucking road gig when they came to town I think Florentine went because I remember talking to him about it and I was so fucking envious

that he got to go and I didn't get to go. So I never saw him play live. But, you know, since doing that Dean Del Rey show where I had to learn how to play which I butcher the song, but I tried to learn how to play that song by Motley Crew Live Wire,

which had the double-based, you know, basic thing in there. Since then, I've just kind of gotten addicted to it. And I was listening to all of the Pantera stuff and a whole other like level. And, you know, cowboys from hell and fucking, um, broken and this love, just loving the, the drum parts are just so fucking perfect in all of those.

And I was just talking, I was talking to my drum teacher literally that day of how great, um, Vinnie Paul was, um, with his work in that band. And, and then like, fucking was so weird that night. Then all of a sudden I got that text. I couldn't fucking believe it. And super sad, but I don't know, like, the only good thing I could say is the got, the mark that the guy left is he won't be forgotten. And obviously, his brother hasn't been. So anyways, that's my little, my little point of view on truly one of the great artists that I ever heard or got to, I don't know, listen to, whatever, hang out with or anything.

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Beundies.com slash burr, promo code burr. You know, can I talk about the Germans playing the Swedes and the fucking, do they play Sweden? Is that what it was? I buy the shirts for the same colors. They're flags. So I always fucked that up. Sweden and Switzerland, because I'm an American and we never, they never taught us geography like that. And I remember one time I did a gig in Sweden. And I said, hey, it's great to be here in Switzerland. And they all laughed thinking I was joking. And I honestly fucked it up. And I just rolled with it. I was just like, hey,

just fucking with you. They both start with SW. But I did the whole thing. Thank you, Cleveland, whatever the fuck it was. Spinal tap thing. I got to get back there. I haven't done, what would you call that? Hitler's Ranch up there, Norway, Sweden, and Finland, all those places when he used to look across the, was it the Baltic Sea? I don't know what the fuck it is. Just look across that water there.

And that's what people should look like, yeah? frolicking in the grass Um Anyways Um Now those Sweden did You know They were non-committal in World War II

Ended up being a great fucking move Not socially it wasn't a good move But it was a great fucking move financially Because just for the fact that they were still standing After World War II Never got bombed You know Let the crowds fucking use their trains

And going to Norway Um they still their fucking apple bees was still open at the end of it you know so i mean i guess you can learn something from sweden when when shit is hitting the fan and you need to stand up and make a stand uh don't let other people do it just kind of sit back and uh see who wins it and uh carry on Anyways, so the Swedes are playing in Germany. I'm mostly German, so I usually root for Germany. Or whatever.

Or I just root for an underdog like Iceland. I mean, how are you not fucking root for Iceland and, you know, Poland and shit like that, you know? I'm rooting for all. Anybody other than the powerhouses that always seem to be in it, and I don't know shit about soccer. So this is what it's going to make it funny. But anyway, so I'm watching this fucking.

game. And this Swedish dude, right? Yeah, he's on a fucking breakaway. He's all alone. Right? And then this guy in the German team, a black dude, which is hilarious. You know what I mean? I was always just sitting like, like, how conflicted would Hitler be? Germany won. But what is that out there? He comes down and goes to not only went to like, the guy, he also just pushed him from behind. And like a fucking referee in the WWE, somehow this guy

didn't see it. I mean, I think it happened in the box in the painted area, whatever the fuck they call it in that sport. And I think that that should have just been one of those fucking penalty kicks where the goalie just dives and guesses one side. But anyways, the Swedes ended up going up

one nothing, the Germans tied it up. And then this guy, he did the old bend it like Beckham. He did the old fucking roundabout there. I don't know how to talk about the sport. But I got to tell you something. I actually, I love making fun of soccer, but I have to watch it in order to make fun of it. And now having watched it, I'm actually, I kind of love it now. And I kind of understand the beauty of the game. Finally, I'm starting to get it. And it is really cool. that it is so hard to score that when it happens that people absolutely lose their fucking mind. So I am on board. I'm going to continue to make fun of it.

I had it on in the background. And, you know, I had like fucking two weeks of mail here that I was going through. And the amount of times that I just kept looking over at the TV because he announced to be like, Oh, whatever is he's going to be sick. So I was sitting at the table going like, oh my God, oh, something almost happened. That's what it just seemed like. But it really is a great game. Gee Bill, you really, you know, you mean the rest of the world is right, Bill?

And you might be wrong on this one. But I missed it today. A good friend of mine wrote in, wrote in, sent me a text. And I'm in podcast mode. She sent me a text message and asked me if I saw the, England play today. I guess they played a great game. And I heard Mexico had a pretty scrappy game with the Koreans.

I heard it was getting a little nasty. They're like the Koreans were desperate. Like, we don't give a fuck, you know? We can't score unless we have the ball. And, you know, I guess Mexico's fast. That's what I know. And I promise you this week, I'm going to neglect all my responsibilities. And I'm going to try to watch some of this shit.

Because it is, it is fun. Once every four years, the entire world, gets together to play for an actual world championship is pretty that's pretty sick you know i just wish they could use their hands you just see that one kind he fucking jumped over the guy and accidentally kicked him in the face i mean that that's got to be like kicking a guy in the ground in the face in the realm of like losing your man card forever like who fuck who does that with your shoes on at least you can be barefoot so maybe make your foot stay a little bit.

I would be so disappointed if I had a fucking son. And he ended up playing soccer, first of all. I'd be happy for his brain. But, you know, if that's what he did, you're going to frolic down the field and jump in the air like some baby deer and then kick somebody in the face? No, the guy does. He takes out a yellow card.

I hate the way they take it out. And the guy just stands up in front of the guy, the stupid thing up in the air like he's bidding on a fucking Shelby. Anyways. Congratulations. to anybody who won. I got to get into it. Sorry.

I did watch the F1 finally. I was in town. I got to watch. I watched the French GP. Congratulations. So Lewis Hamilton. Max Verstappen was fucking hilarious in the press conference afterwards.

Because Vettles slammed into Botas. Max was going, you know, I think he needs, you guys should tell him he needs to adjust his style. Because they were given Max shit, you know. Beginning of the year, I forget, he took out his own tea. He took out, what's his face there?

Daniel Ricardo and they gave him all this shit Does he need to adjust his style All these fucking assholes who don't drive for a living So he was trashing all of them going You should tell Vettel Yeah, he should tell him he needs to adjust his style And then he shouldn't adjust it at all

The way I didn't adjust my style And now here I sit three races in a row Whatever on the fucking podium You fucking cunts Kimmy raking it They kept bringing up This is his 25th to 26th podium without winning a race.

It's like, that's because fucking Lewis Hamilton went, because Lewis Hamilton wins every goddamn week. Okay? That's like giving somebody shit who played when Michael Jordan was at the height of his powers. He never got a ring. Nobody got a ring.

You know, I got a ring, Elijah won, when fucking Jordan was playing basketball, and then when he was a little out of shape the next year. Other than that, everybody got shut the fuck down. All right? what happens. So what needs to happen is the next, the next great driver has to come around. And also, for what I little know about the sport is they got to fucking get with either Mercedes or Ferrari,

basically Mercedes, it seems, to have the fastest car out there. Because I think what's this, I think Daniel Ricardo is going to fucking, he's going to jump somewhere, right? That's what they're saying. I like both those drivers. Hey, now about the Yanks, huh? The Americans, what are we coming? Like six to seventh we got some points in our gray cars our overcast cars um what else did i do here oh i got back on my fucking diet this has been tough it's been tough to get back on the diet after all the crapes i fucking ate over in france you know had a couple of slip-ups but i'm back to the quinoa um hitting the elliptical oh god the first two minutes are getting on the elliptical at my age Jesus Christ.

After that, I just kind of go numb, and then it's fine. I listen to my fucking songs. And then it's over. But I finally got this shoulder thing beat. And I think I have to join the gym, though, because in order to rehab my shoulder where I can do pull-ups again, I got to do those fucking lat pull-downs with like 20 pounds and 30 and work my way up to my body weight.

And then I can attempt to do like a pull-up because what I did last time, When I rehabbed it was I then got these like those helper bands, you know, that you stand on and make the pull up easier. But I was still, you know, trying to pull up, you know, 90, 100 pounds with the weight. And I fucking jack my shoulder again. So I got to do what I don't want to do. I got to go join a fucking gym. So I got to find a local gym, not a fucking, a chain one. Because those are the ones.

They get your credit card. And then you can't fucking get out of it. I ever tell you that time I went to Bally's. I joined Bally's. And it was like trying to fucking leave AOL. You just couldn't do it. They'd go, oh, okay, send in a $100 cancellation fee. And then I sent it in.

And then they go, oh, yeah, but there's another, there's another gym within like a five mile radius so you can't cancel. Like, and I was, what the fuck? You just took $100 from me. I should have sued the fucking shit out of it. And I didn't. So I just didn't pay him. I just, you know, I did it.

I canceled the credit card. It was the only way out. And it was quiet for months. I didn't hear from anybody. And then all of a sudden this collection agency called me up. You're like, yes, hi, is William Burr there, please? I'm like, this is he. They're like, hey, this is so-and-so from the so-and-so collection agency.

We bought your debt from Bally's Total Fitness and would like to discuss it with you. And I was just like, well, I don't know what the hell you did that for. You know, I didn't pay them. what the hell why would I pay you? I don't even know you. You know? This is your business?

You actually earn a living doing this shit, buying debt that other people can't fucking collect. And then so she was like, you know, giving me shit telling me I had to collect. I'm not doing it. You know, I go, I have perfect credit. I've paid everything. Okay.

I really don't think that someday in the future when I go to buy a house, they're going to be like, you know what, we really want to give you a couple hundred thousand dollar loan here, but you owe $300 to a gym. And she's like, oh my God, you know what? We just had a client who just called us up and said, please, please, I have to pay off, you know, this $400 that I owe you because I'm trying to buy a house and they won't let me. And I was like, wow, I go, that's incredible. That's almost the exact same scenario that I just presented to you. it's almost like you made it up right and then she got fucking mad at me and then i just started

hitting on her and she started saying it was harassment and i just hey how old are you you know you live around here you know you got a boyfriend or anything and she she ended up hey she got so mad she hung up on me you know i'll probably get me toed over that and ever since then i've been afraid of the phone every time it rings i shake my cell phone's always on site Um, anyways, what do we got, 22 minutes in here? Is it time to fucking send? And you know what? I got to admit, they just kept harassing me and harassed me. I just got sick of it. It was only 300 bucks, so I just fucking paid him. And, um, I shouldn't have. There's a couple people that I shouldn't have paid. And I did. But I just, I didn't like the, uh, the stress, you know, I couldn't put it into perspective. And I just got sick of them calling me. And I, you know, I had fun with them shit. hitting on them or saying that I got into to some horrible accident. That was another big one that I just said. I don't know how many times I have to tell you I lost my leg in a car accident.

What kind of peatman? Oh my God, sir. I'm so sorry to hear that. Well, are you? This is like the third time. I'm literally sitting here right now with my stump elevated. So I don't bleat out because the sutures have come loose again. And here you are harassing.

It's just what you do. And then they would, you know, it was that. thing. And I just ran out of ways to have fun with them. And then I think I just finally fucking paid him. Yeah, I've done that a couple times. I had a fucking landlord that stole from my apartment or a manager stole from my apartment. I was on the road and I came back and I was on the road for three weeks. I was on the road for so long when I came back like most of the water had evaporated out of the toilet. And they had this checked the smoke alarm. So legally they could go into my apartment when I wasn't there without my consent because

if there was a fire, it could affect the other units. That's what they said. And all of a sudden, I noticed there was a camera missing. They'd picked through my CDs. It was a hip-hop fan. And so I went down and I talked to the guy about it thinking that the manager was going to be like, oh, my God, sir, we got to get to the bottom of this. He just says, I don't appreciate you coming down and accusing me.

And he started saying, I have the power. He kept saying, I have the power. So I was like, oh, yeah, you got the power? All right, buddy. And I just stood outside the office. And anytime anybody knew came, I stood out there for two hours. I was like, yeah, don't rent from these people. They stole from my apartment and all that stuff.

That's just like, dude, I'm a comedian. I can do this all day. I will be down here every single fucking day. And it was bullshit because the next day I went on the road. And I just didn't have it in me. And I shouldn't have. Hey, hey, come on in here. The lovely Nia, everybody.

Come here. What's going on? I was just talking to them about collection agencies and all of that type of stuff and all the crap I've gone through. I haven't had a lot of that stuff. But, you know, that I've been talking to that, that time that woman called me up, I know it was Bally Total Fitness and I just started hitting on her and she got mad at me. I said it was harassment. I ended up on me. I ended up on me.

That was like the highlight. What's the matter with you? Oh, you do. All right, well, I got another 35 minutes here. I'm just going to read some advertising, and I got some great questions from people this week. All right? Do you want to go get some floss instead of just staring at me

with your fingers in your mouth? You know what's sexy to me? You know what's sexy to me at my age eight hours sleep? That turns me on, all right? All right. Listen, I'd love to talk to you while you pick your teeth. I've got to keep the momentum going here. We have floss.

You have. you're going to get your fingers between your teeth? Get out of here. I got it. There you go. Tenacity. Yeah. All right.

Here we go. Jesus. They always want to go somewhere. You know what I mean? All he wants a fucking house and then you get a one and then all they want to do is leave. Oh, boy. It's unfucking believable. When is the guy, Me Too thing going to fucking happen?

You know what I mean? The reverse Me Too? You know, I take a lot of these feminists a little more seriously if they ever bitched about something that didn't affect their life. You know what I mean? You know what else we need to fix? Let me guess. Something that affects you. You self-centered fucking.

All right. Let's move on here. And then I'm going to tell you about this music festival I went to yesterday. Definitely feeling my age at a music festival. Just having to stand. standing too long throws out my back at this point. I know it's my posture. I don't need all you non-doctors out there.

Just save me your fucking remedies, all right? All right. Oh, here's something from a friend of mine. A buddy of mine, he actually died a couple years ago. And his widow is trying to finish a project that he started, which is a really great idea. It's called the Untold Legends of Hip Hop. And my buddy Pete coming, rest of soul, he was out there interviewing all of these legends from the early days of rap music, Curtis Blow, Russell Simmons, Spliff Star, did I say that right?

And they would do these two-minute little stories talking about the early days of hip-hop, and then they were animating it. And I saw some of the clips and it looked fucking incredible and they want to finish this thing. So they have a startup. If you're a fan of hip-hop music, animation and all that stuff, just cool stuff, you like to learn about music the way I do. The website is Halo Boost, H-A-L-O-B-O-O-S-T dot com. And the project is the Untold Legends of Hip-P. People can go to Halo Boost and click on the featured project,

and then you go to the Untold Legends of Hip-Hop campaign. Donate a dollar, whatever you can do to try to get this thing made. It's a really, really cool project. And from one of the great people that I've met in this business, I'll definitely retweet the link and all that type of stuff. So I appreciate it. You know, if you're into it, I'm not, there's no pressure here. All right.

All right. Here we go. All right. Yesterday I went to a music festival. All right. I went to go see the pretenders when I was in England. The great Chrissy Hyde came down with some of her friends, some of the band members and stuff that came down to my show.

That's the second time she's come to one of my shows over there. So I was like, next time you come to the U.S., I'm going to your show. You got me, I'm going. And she said, cool, guess what? I'm going to be there a few days after you come back. So I was like, all right, done. Done deal. So I figured they're going to be playing like some theater or some shit out here.

You know, I'm an old man. I'll sit down in a seat, get myself a sasparilla. That'd be once in a while stand up and wave my fist and feel like I've contributed as an audience member. But no, they were doing a music festival. And I get the email from her manager. And there's a map. And it's to the Rose Bowl. I'm like, holy shit.

Who the fuck is on this bill? And it was Neil Young, Jack White, the pretenders, the Smiths, and a bunch of other people that I'm sure I missed and that were fucking amazing. Right. So I'm like, wow, this is going to be. I never saw a concert at the fucking Rose Bowl. This is going to be amazing. So, you know, I walk in there.

I walked right where it's, you know, the Rose Bowl logo. I'm having all of these flashbacks of how many times I've been there hammered going to the Rose Bowl game. Kind of struck me as funny to be walking the golf course. It's a big golf course outside the stadium, by the way. Finally doing it sober. So I'm walking in there. And the first thing, I try to go into the main entrance into the Rose Bowl stadium. They're like, no, no, no, no, you got to go around.

And I'm like, well, of course, you got to go around. They always make you go the longest fucking possible way. Why do I got to go around? Why do how fuck do I got to do that? You fucking assholes. And then I go in there and then we got to make a left turn and then a right. Now I'm going to cut across the bridge. The stadium's right fucking there.

And I go to go across the bridge. I'm sorry, sir, this is one way. It's one way for walking. Are you worried there's going to be a head-on collision? Where the fuck do I have to go? You got to go up there, right? And I'm losing my shit. And then I'm looking around.

And there's all these tents and all this shit. And all of a sudden it finally fucking dawns on me that the concert is not in the Rose Bowl. It's all over this giant golf course. So the whole time I'm trying to go in the stadium. There's nothing going on in the stadium. Fucking moron, right? And also I'm trying to keep my cool because somebody told me the other day, said, like, dude, you do not handle stress well.

And that, of course, hurt my ego. I'm like, what are you talking about? I don't handle stress well. I'm a stand-up comedian. I've performed at Madison Square Garden. I dealt with doing five minutes of stand-up on the Dave Letterman show when it was like 30 below with the air conditioner. Okay. One of the most intimidating things ever.

And I was able to set aside that fucking stress and get through it. And then the person was like, all right. I'm just saying, you know. And then I realized it's like, you know, thinking about it the next day, actually snapping again over something fucking stupid that, of course, five minutes later I figured out probably three minutes later. I actually realized that this person was right, that I, it's not, I don't handle inconvenience well. And then I turn it into like what's going on in Hawaii right now with the lava pouring out and all this shit. So I don't know, I've done this so many times. The last couple of days, you know, except for at the festival when they, I was doing well with distress until they told me the bridge where people were walking was one way.

you know, I just, all right. I mean, if I even say that one more time of you guys, I'm going to lose my shit again. So anyways, I drove in traffic yesterday. I was completely relaxed. But I've done this a million fucking times. A million times is somebody says something to me about it. It makes me want to change.

And then for two, three days, I'm okay. And then gradually I just go back to the way I was, you know, flipping the fuck out. So I think I'm going to start talking about it on the podcast. the way I do with my boozing because I keeps my boozing and check to tell you guys if I'm on the wagon

I'm off or whatever and then you guys give me shit hey Billy Booze bag hey Billy fucking fat tits and all that shit and makes me all right fuck these people I'm going back to crushing waters

so anyways I finally I figured out that this festival is outside and now you know I don't know where the fuck I'm going and the pretenders are going to be on

they were on in the afternoon 525 right at dusk, well it should have been dusk. Different time of year would have been dusk, right? And I was looking like, well, what the fuck do I do here? I got to get some booze, right? So, you know, they're doing these little fucking, you know, they're not pouring home pours.

So I got like two whiskeys and I'm walking at my stupid little cup, right? And I see this fucking guy even older than me. He must have been like 63. It's actually still in pretty good shape. But he had the long gray hair. He had his shirt off, you know, just that guy. he's been going to concerts forever, you know? And the pretenders start up

and I'm trying to find with the, you know, the best place where I can watch it. And he starts doing like that, you know, like that, that fucking hippie, surfer, spiritual white guy dancing. You know, there's a touch of Tai Chi in there, you know? He's doing that fucking dance. And you know, it's the same dance he does to all music. I don't even know what it is.

And they always have like this look on their face. When you look in their face, when you look in this smiling, they always look at you like they have life figured out. Like they know what makes, like, hey man, like, you know, they're going to say all this spiritual bullshit to you that you could find on the side of a fucking Dixie Cup, you know? And whoever that guy is, I want to thank you. I fucking was laughing my ass off. Just a fact he had his shirt off.

I got to sit. He was still doing the, I got a minute. he was still doing the push-ups, so he didn't have the man booze. But still, it's like, come on, man. There's young people here. They don't want to see that. Cover yourself up.

This whole fucking pride in your age and everything, you know, or how you look is all well and good. But, you know, you know what? It's kind of disappeared. It's calm and fucking courtesy for your fellow man. Good Lord. You know, it just blows my mind. It really doesn't.

It doesn't. Because you know what? I think that guy was a baby boomer you know and there's never you know right before the baby boomers sorry I got to plug my headphones back in

right before the baby boomers was the greatest generation according to Tom Broca they're the greatest generation like I think the baby boomers are like the most selfish like maybe because there's so many of them that they had such an influence on the culture

and they think every fucking thing that happened during their time was just so goddamn important. They're just, I don't know. And I think that they would just sew up their own ass about themselves that now that they're old and all wrinkly, they just can't, they can't let it go. Can't let it go, you know? I mean, I'm not going to let of you. I'm fighting aging by trying to work out and stay in shape and eat right and all that type of stuff. But yeah, I stay covered up.

I have empathy for people in their 20s. They don't want to see it. So anyways, I go by the spiritual dancing guy, and I warm my way up as close to the stage as I possibly can. And I have to tell you something, man. Chrissy Hyne and the pretendant is fucking murdered. She sounded like, once again, two weeks in a row. I've seen great concert.

She sounded as great as the albums that I grew up listening to. and the song she opened with was on her new album. It was just about being a loner and liking not being in a relationship and shit. And the lyrics are hilarious. And I'm almost a little ashamed at like how much I relate to the song. I told her afterwards. I was like, I fucking love that song. But they just fucking murdered.

And she's such a badass, total rock star. like the real deal, paid her dues, all that shit. You just see all of that when you watch her perform. It was tremendous. And she gets offstage and then next up was Jack White. Jack fucking White, right? I get to see him come out with this new lineup, the new sound that he has. He was fucking unbelievable.

You know, there's another guy. If you go see him, it's like, when have you ever seen that guy even remotely take a show? like half a second off during a show, forget about a show. That guy never is the antithesis of phoning it in. Whenever I see that guy perform live, I always get inspired as a comedian. Like, I could be working a little harder. I could be trying to give people a better show here.

So his set ended, and I walked over to go see the Smiths, who I remember one of my brothers listened to them. Everybody I knew listened to better music than I listened to in the 80s. I just was listening to, like, I mean, I listened to some good shit, but I was listening to a lot of fucking hair metal, you know, which is why I missed out on Pantara and fucking all those bands that came out. Like I was, I was too far in the other direction. Like, every rose has its door, you know?

And all of a sudden I was like, people equal shit, right? I'm just like, what the fuck is this? you know, I'm as cynical as the next guy. But Jesus Christ, that's another thing. I started listening to that Iowa album that Slip Nuts shit. And like, I always liked the heretic thing. People, evil shit. I always thought it was kind of funny.

But I never like, I don't know, it was just too much going on. And now I'm listening to it fucking 20 years after it came out going like, this fucking album is unbelievable. But I mean, I have, you know, there's only so much fucking music you can, you're going to miss something, right? I got to forgive myself on some level. So anyways, I went over and I saw the Smiths, and I remember that one song that crossed over that even like a fucking mainstream Charlie like me heard where it was that stopped the messing around. Stop the top of your future, right?

Anyways, I watched those guys that band fucking murdered and did the impossible, I felt. It had like 10,000 white people all dancing for their entire fucking set. It was ridiculous. How hard they killed. And then they ended their set in such a cool way. They had this crowd do a sing-along. As the band started playing a little more quiet, a little more quiet, a little more quiet. And the lead singer was like roasting people in the crowd.

Go, great job, great job. You don't sound like good. You sound like you got bronchitis. And everybody's laughing. And then the band just sort of just gradually stopped playing. And the crowd one more time sang. What is it? The chorus.

And then he said, thanks a lot. Good night. It was so fucking cool. And then Neil Young starts playing. Now you've got to walk across the golf course again. And my back was fucking killing me. And I was jet lagged and all of that shit. And I just, I hate to say this.

I've never seen Neil Young in concert. I just couldn't make it. You know, and I had to get home. You know, I got a kid's getting up and shit. And it's just like, I don't want to fucking see Neil Young standing outside with my back fucking, fucking, you know, talking to me next to some fucking 60-year-old guy doing his Tai Chi fucking, hey man, dance. I want to see this guy in a theater. So I stood there and I watched him play one song so I could say, or at least most of the first song. He didn't even sing.

It was just like him playing guitar and shit. I think his experience was like, all right, I got to get all those people that were just over at the Smith's time to come over. I'm sure people's feet hurt and their backs hurt. I mean, he's probably doing me a favor. But I just, you know, I don't know. I just said to my friends, I was like, guys, I got to go home. I can't. And I Ubered here and there's just going to be a thousand fucking people.

And I just know how I'm wired. I have to find that one-way bridge that's going to allow me to get the fucking. out of here. And I actually left during one of my favorite singers of all time during his fucking set. But anyways, it's a great show and all that. If you're younger, definitely check it out. If you're older, definitely stretch. Try to keep your shirt on. I saw these two people, oh my God, these two fucking whales, these two fat people, one of those fat couples. And they were just asleep on their picnic blanket. Like, both in, like, the spooning position, but faced opposite.

It was like a fat ying yang. They were just laying there. You know what they look like? You know what? Like at the zoo when they tranquilized, like one of those big cats, one of those predators. And then it's just like, all right, now that we knocked it out, we need to bring a fucking machine over here to pick this thing up. It weighs like 600 fucking pounds.

And I don't know. They were oddly adorable. Like I was being like, it must be fun. You know what I mean? Like, you know, like those commercials come out and you see like Domino's or like Papaginos will have like a fucking some deal. Like get two pizzas for seven bucks. And if you get that, we'll throw in the fucking chocolate chip cookie pie

with the whipped cream and ice cream, right? And I always make fun of that shit. And I always make fun of it because there's a big part of me that just wants to order that and take the ride, you know, have the salt fucking take me down to the ground, right? And as I think I'm going to fucking, you know, sink into the rug like that dude in train spotting. Then you start eating the fucking cookie pie. And you start coming back like Hulk Hogan, you know, when they went to drop his hand

that last time and it didn't go down. And all of a sudden you eat the cookie thing and you start shaking your head. You start strutting around, right? But you don't. you don't and they get they get to live that life they get to sit there like i bet they got one of those you know those you know those big fucking couches that on either side there's the recliner but it's still like a sofa i bet they got one of those right and then in the middle it the thing comes down remember that it was basically it was a fat fuck couch they used to make this thing before like

the biggest loser and everything came out was like catering for people who were fat fucks or were their goal in life was to become a fat fuck because on either side of this big couch like you could pull a lever and your feet could go up and then in the middle this thing would come down there's a place for your drinks and like a fucking pizza and you just sit there with your girlfriend you know watching the TV with your feet up got the AC cranking just destroy like just destroying the fucking planet in your absolute like utopia. I mean, I don't know if you guys believe in an afterlife, which I thought about a lot when

Vinny passed. You know, there was all that talk about now he's reunited, reunited with his brother. And I was definitely thinking, you know, I really hope that that happens, you know. So let's say that it does. Okay. If you're a fat couple and you have one of the. on those couches. And you're watching one of your favorite shows on Netflix or Hulu, whatever the fuck you do.

And you're sitting there with your feet reclined, eating a pizza, and you got that cookie fucking pizza thing coming next. Drinking your favorite drink, it's just like, what could the afterlife offer you that's going to be any better than that? If you truly love one another, you know, when you got the AC going, you know, you got your toes out. I mean, I don't know. I think I'm selling a lifestyle right now here. I think I'm selling some couches.

Anyways, but I had a great time. And if you get a chance, you know, like I said, definitely check out that festival. And I feel really bad that I had to leave. I left during Neil Young. The fuck is wrong with me. I have to fix that in the future by seeing him. But like, you know, I want to see that guy. Like, did you ever see when he did that film?

He was at the Ryman? That's what you want to see. Fucking Neil Young. Yeah, you see him at this. I'm not trying to not sell this festival. but I'm just saying. Look, I'm old. I need a chair. Okay, there, I set it. All right. I used to be able to stand. Evidently, I can't any longer. I was able to kind of work my way out of it. I know it's my fucking posture. Posture stinks. You know, it's all those years of fucking hating yourself, you know, fucking slinking down. I'm an albino. Stop looking at me. All right, all right. We got some great emails this week. The first one, Vinnie Paul. Hey, Bill.

By now, I'm sure that you've heard that Vinny Paul passed away last Friday. Much like you talked about Malcolm Young after his death. I feel like Vinny was another one who just lived an amazing life. One of the great drummers to ever get behind the kid. I got to tell you, like everything that I saw off on Twitter from all these big-time rock stars, over and over and over again, other than stating the obvious what a monster amazing drummer he was. Everybody just talked about what a nice guy he was. Anyways, he said I was too young when Pantara was leaving their mark on the metal scene through the 90s,

so I never got to see Pantara play live before they disbanded. However, I did get to see Vinny play with Hell Yeah, back in the day. Back in 2016 at Rockville Festival in Jacksonville, Florida. He was quite simply incredible. Oh, this is a cool story. I read this before the podcast, something I never do, but I saw it said Vinny Paul, so I wanted to read it. I said, I remember being pretty close to the front of the stage, and Vinny was the first band member to come out before the show started.

When he stood up behind the drum kit, he had this smile on his face like he was just really happy to be there. He twirled his drumstick at the whole crowd, saluted by putting his fist in the air, and then the madness began. But for most of the show, I couldn't take my eyes off of him because of how good he was. Oh, that's awesome. And even though he was that good, the biggest memory I have of him

was that he was smiling the whole show like he just loved playing and seeing people enjoy themselves as much as he was. He'll be missed by more, he will be missed by more than we know. I don't know if that sentence makes sense. If you remember,

please crank a Pantera song up as loud as you can. Today, I'm sure Vinny will hear it. Best Switch is... Hey, I... Best Switch is incompetent, it said. Well, I was already... listen to their fucking shit every day anyways. You know what's a great album? Great live album is there.

101 proof. It's such a badass album. One of my favorite things is when they play Unbroken. As Phil's doing the intro, Vinny's already counting in the song. Just how tight they were. He's like, well, sorry to nuts called Out Broken. I'm having a good time. All right.

Coco the Gorilla. Oh, I saw this too. That fucking sweetheart. of a gorilla that I did the bit about. Hey Bill, I saw you live last year and I love you special when you talk about teaching guerrilla's sign language.

I was watching clips of Coco interacting with people like with Flea from the chili peppers and Robin Williams. I watched those. I was still nervous. I just saw Flea laying down and there's like a fucking gorilla

right next to him. I don't know. I get you shooting the shit with it. You can kind of, I don't know. It made me nervous. You know? I wonder if it made me nervous just because I'm such a big fan of Flea and I didn't want to see anything happen to him.

Like it was a bass player from a band I didn't give a shit about. And they go, look at this guy. This could get interesting. Anyways, it was charming as hell. I was wondering if you ever sat down with Coco if ever given a chance. Well, no, not after the bit I did. They probably, this guy's a fucking asshole. You could have asked him why.

the chicken crossed the road and wait for a chuckle or try to explain humor to him. If I ever sat down with that gorilla, and that thing actually, if that wasn't a party trick, if it actually knew how to do sign language, I imagine it would sign to me, you seem nervous. And I were saying back. Yeah, well, you're a fucking gorilla. Anyways, kids show recommendation. Hey, they're Billy Barnacle balls. I want to, I want, if you want a show to watch with your girlfriend, check out, I thought I said octo nuts, like something with eight balls. Octonuts.

Is it an octopus in outer space? I watched it with my girls and kids and I actually learned some stuff. All right. Well, that was about as vague as the, uh, wasn't that movie way back in the game? The silent game or the something game or the something or other? I remember David Spade had that joke. I'm going to tell you guys the secret of the crying game. And he goes, overrated.

All right. Hair transplant depression. Oh, no. Hey, old freckled dick. I'm a 21-year-old man. I recently got hair transplant surgery. Well, you must be a hairy motherfucker, man. He went bald dead or soon.

The surgery went great. Good. Good for you. But I now hate that I have a huge scar on the back of my head. Don't they do it now where they just vacuum the shit out? So you don't have to have that smile on the back of your head? He goes, every time I cut my hair, you can see it. Could you give me some advice on what I should do?

Well, yeah, don't cut your hair so fucking short. Now that you got back on top of your head, grow your hair. hair out. You'll be fine. That was an easy one. What are you doing? You got hair plugs. You had them hacked the back of your head. Then you got fucking hair plugs. And now you're shaving. You head down to the point where you can fucking see it anyways. What was the point? I don't know. I would just, I guess I would just grow my hair out a little bit. I don't think it has to be that long to cover the scar. As long as it's long enough that you can't see your scalp. I think you should be all right. Right? Anyways, pit bull problems. Dear Guillaume Bur, Arrasir Facil. Oh, Billy, easy shave butter. Oh, Fasili's face, right? No, that's easy. Fasile is easy. I have no idea. I suck at that shit. As a former pit bull owner, I'd like to ask your advice on a problem I'm having. My wife comes home from a large family and they get together at her parents every month for Sunday dinner and family hangouts. The last two times, my wife comes from a large family family. The last two times, my wife comes from a large family family family. My wife comes from a large family family family. My wife. My wife comes. My wife comes. My wife comes. My wife comes

My brother-in-law has brought his recently adopted Pitbull. It's a rescue dog, and he doesn't think it was abused or used to fight because it's so good with kids, according to him. It's a large family, so there are about 15 kids, ages 3 to 11, running around, and my 4-year-old daughter is one of them. She loves dogs and likes this one in particular, but both times he's brought the dog. My daughter has come running to me in tears because it got over-excited and jumped on. onto her too rough. Well, that's the thing about pities, man. They're just a big fucking awesome ball of muscle. And when I used to wrestle with my dog, I used to have to lay my neck over the top of its neck. He had to get inside because she was lightning quick and she would turn around and

her head was like a wrecking ball. God, I miss that fucking dog. I still get to see her every couple months, but I really miss that. Anyways, he goes, I don't hate dogs, but I don't love them either, and I don't trust pit bulls. Well, you have to validate all of that, okay? To be quite honest, I'm kind of afraid of them. I never forget myself if something happened to my daughter. If I say something to my in-laws, I look like a killjoy asshole, but I'm too stressed out to enjoy the family gathering because I'm hovering over it constantly. So my wife's response has been to treat me like I'm overreacting and dismiss my concerns. It's bothering me so much I've considered just keeping my daughter home next time. but am I making too big a deal about this?

I think it's a recipe for disaster. I don't feel like it's my place to tell my brother-in-law to keep it at home, and my wife's not supporting me. Please let me know if you have any ideas. Merci a vaute affair for two. Thank you. Thank you. And I imagine that's saying, go fuck yourself.

I know advise and go. to you favor three. All right. Anyways. I would say this, dude. You have to, like, if that's what you're feeling, you don't have to tell anybody to leave a dog home right. You just have to communicate this to people.

All right? Say, you don't hate dogs. You don't love him either. And you don't, I don't trust pit bulls. Okay? And just tell them that. Rather than be like, keep that fucking let me take dog home. Just tell them that. All right? And I would say, sit down with your wife and say that, you know, I don't feel like you're hearing me. All right? She's my daughter and I'm concerned. And I have to be honest, you know, if you had these

concerns, I would listen to them and you're not validating what I'm feeling. And it's really bothering me. And I can't enjoy when I go over there. I don't want to be this killjoy, but I'm hovering over our kid and I just, you know, it's bothering me. You married me. You love me. I'm telling you something's bothering me. We need to talk about it. You can't go there because I'm, and you fucking talk to me about this? That's what I would do. Keep it in the register I was just in. All right. And don't stop having the conversation until there's a solution that you're satisfied with. It's your daughter. Okay. And, you know, dogs are abused. All right. And if a dog snaps, you know, you know,

It's a bad thing around a kid. And then when you have a pit bull, the thing about a pit bull is its capability. You know what I mean? Some dogs are like a little water pistol and other dogs are like a fucking bazooka. That dog is a bazooka. So not saying the breed is bad. I'm just saying if somebody fuck that dog up and it does snap, the results are, you know, going to be really bad. So, and you have to address that.

That's being, or you're being a responsible parent. and these people need to listen to you and you need to speak up you got to stand up for yourself there buddy boy that's my advice all right good luck okay lady lady manager crossing the line dear bill or william billow willem you call yourself billow woolum I'm a 23 year old lady who just started working in an office for I love when women write in it's always guys god bless you for writing it who just started working in an office for a big company. It's a boring job, but while I figure out what to do with my life after graduating, it's all right. Well, there you go. That's not bad. You're 23. You've got your whole

life ahead of you. I got promoted with the recommendation from my former manager. This 40-something-year-old woman, who I thought was quite nice. Now that she's not my manager anymore, although she's still senior to me, she has been a little inappropriate with me. After an office Christmas party, me and my colleagues went to a club. I came out of the club bathrooms, and she was waiting. She didn't even come with us. That's weird. She waved me over to sit next to her and asked me if I was gay.

I said, no, I'm not. And she went fine and didn't speak to me for the rest of the night. All right, well, she needs a better opening line. She's a little blunt. You know, she's in business. She got right down to brass tax. She said, I was a bit uncomfortable with the question because what business is it of hers? Oh, I thought she was gay and she wanted to hook up with you.

Because what business is it of hers? So I told one of my work pals what had happened. They had been at the company longer than me and went, wow, you're her new one then. Oh, boy. Oh, geez. I asked them what they meant. guy said, well, I mean, look at her right now. She's filming you. And she's sure enough, what? And sure enough, she was, she was when I turned around. She hit her phone. As I was a little bit too drunk and

under the influence, I was already paranoid. So I decided to lead because I felt so gross. Since then, she's pulled me aside to say that I look delicious and scrumptious. Oh, what a creep whenever she sees me at the end of the day she taps her cheek and demands a kiss oh yeah what the fuck is this person she ain't oh that's ugh that's like a gross relative she asked a girl who works for me to take pictures of me and to send it to her when we're at a pub i consider myself an assertive girl but there's something about how public about her actions which makes me so timid so I go along with it. No.

Don't do that. You would think that because she's not my manager anymore, now that I've been promoted, it wouldn't be a problem, but it is because my new manager is her best friend. I don't want to cause a riff in this new job, but it's really stressing me out. Am I within my rights to tell her to stop? Absolutely you are.

How do I tell it is that, no, I don't have kissed her on cheek every time. I see it without looking like a bitch. Listen, the way you're looking at this is fucking crazy. You're sitting here looking at like you're being an asshole. You're not. This person is completely out of line. She said a few of my friends think it's a funny situation, but I don't.

And if you don't, then it isn't. You got to validate that. If this was a mail manager, he'd be reported. I love your stuff so much, and I wish I could come back to, you'd come back to Glasgow someday. from a fellow pasty redhead. All right there, fellow fucking pasty. This is what you got to do. She asked for a kiss, you tell her no.

And I just stare at. I mean, listen, you have all the fucking power in the world. Or if you just want to go to the manager and say, listen, I don't want to cause some Me Too scandal or any of that shit. Can you keep this weird old fucking bag away from me and tell her to be professional? I mean, that's the proper way to do it. Those are the proper channels, but I have to do it that way.

Do it that way. Okay? Do it that way and document that this has been happening. You have all these witnesses about them filming her and all of this type of shit. If they ever tried to fire you, I mean, you don't have a problem. This kind of thing needs to stop. and, you know, in a perfect world, you'd go to her. Because I don't like that whole telling on her thing, but that's how the business world works.

You know, in a perfect world, when she fucking goes, like, pointed to her cheek, that's right where you should punch her. Fucking blast her right in her fucking face. Yeah, I mean, if you're ever at a bar again and she's doing that shit, I would fucking dump a drink right over her fucking head. Like, that's just creepy behavior. I would just, um, You got to stop this timid thing, because if you're timid, someone like that, it's like a magnet.

They're going to go right towards you. You got to step up to her and tell her what a fucking creep she is. And if I catch you taking video or pictures of me or any of this other fucking creepy sexual shit that you're doing, I'm going to report you. Okay? And you think you're going to get together with your fucking manager friend? Okay? All I got to do is go on social media and your fucking world is over. What the fuck is my phone?

What that fuck is my? Anyways, but don't do that. That's all anger. Listen, you, but, you know, you seem like a really, like, overly nice people-pleasing person at 23, which I was, where you're like, is it me? Is it the way I'm dressing? It's attracting this? It's not you. It's that person. Okay? So whatever the fuck I said before I got upset, just go listen. I got an issue. And don't be listening. I don't want to kind of have anything. go in there, fucking flat-footed and look right at that person and say, listen, I got an issue with her. She's coming at me in weird sexual ways, and I'm getting sick of it. And I'm sick of it. I want to come here and go to work and do a great job. I don't need that. Okay?

I would like to file an official report on her harassing me. Okay? And that's the deal. And I want it to stop. It stops right now. Are we clear? That's it. That's it. There's no, don't go in there, fucking hat in hand.

You don't have to be a cunt. Just go in and just say, look, this is happening and it needs to stop immediately. Okay? Well, I mean, what if she just flashes her tits at you? I mean, what the fuck's he going to say? You can't say that. It's over, right? All right, good luck to you.

Okay, stay out of the sun. And the rest of you go fuck yourselves. And I'll check in on you on Thursday. Rest in peace, Finney Paul.