Criterion Collection, His New Car, Television | Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 9-11-25
00:00Hey, what's going on?It's time for the Thursday afternoon just before Friday, Monday morning podcast.And I'm just checking in on you.Just checking to see.Just checking in to see how you're doing.Oh, my God.I've been driving my wife nuts, but making her fucking laugh.I went to the Emmy, the Creative Arts Emmys.
00:25And for some reason, I don't know when they're shown.I think they're showing them this weekend.I just started doing this impression of Arnold Schwarzenegger presenting.And it was like, and now, ladies and gentlemen, here are the nominees for Best Action Movie or Variety Special.And I was just doing these stupid things.And I was just, I kept naming old school performers as the winners.And I just kept getting more and more obscure.And it just became me yelling, famous people from the 80s names in Arnold Schwarzenegger's voice.
01:07And I don't know why it was so stupid and so silly.She's my favorite person in the world to make laugh.She was, I don't know, maybe he had to be there.But for two days, I was just walking around going like,And the winner and the Emmy goes to John Denver and Miss Piggy.Her favorite one wasAnd the Emmy goes toMax Hedrum and Cindy Lapa
01:38For I am unusual tooI was doingIt was one of the most fun thingsIt was cathartic to just be screamingThese famous people's namesAs Arnold SchwarzeneggerAnd then just rememberingTodd Bridges and Mary Luretted.
02:04Just all these people that I grew up with.Anyway, that's what I've been doing for like the last couple of days.As I mentioned, or maybe I didn't mention, I played some drums today.I've been working on my 16th notes with one hand.That James Gadsden, Jeff Piccaro thing,I took a lesson with my buddy Dave Eilich, who has a whole new drum program that he's going to be coming on the podcast, spoiler alert, to promote.Very happy for him.He gave me a lesson on that.
02:43And today, some of the stuff that he was showing me started getting into the muscle memory, you know, and for like a couple of seconds, you're doing it.And then you're like, oh, my God, I'm doing it.And then all of a sudden you just, you blow it after that.So very excited about that.And I've also been going to my kids.My kids are playing sports now.And I am just like the happiest father ever.And I made the rookie dad going to a sporting event mistakes.
03:16I sat in those bleachers, you know, with the aluminum fucking benches like they had back in the day at Sullivan Stadium.And like I'm just too old to sit on those.felt that for like three days so i brought i have a folding chair so i brought the folding chair i hadmy little thermos of water and i and i'm just sitting there watching them practice and everythingand like you know and i've just made my decision i go i am not going to be that debt okay i i didn'thave some unfulfilled olympic dream that my kid now has to like fulfill i'm just likerooting for everybody.I just want everybody to have a good time.
04:01And the end of practice,hey, great practice, coach, whatever. Thanks a lot.And then I come home and whatever drills they were working on,you know, we kind of do them in the backyard,just messing around, having a good time.And it's been great.I haven't missed a practice yet.And unfortunately, I'm home.
04:21I've been doing some sporadic road gigs out here.Nothing but positive shit this week.everybody all right i know this was a tough week so let's just go positive here um i did a thousand oakslast night in a beautiful theater out there that i didn't even know existed um went out there and it wasjust such a fucking great crowd um right out of the gate i was just making fun of them you knowit was just a weird part of l a like i we pulled onto the street and there was like a ferrari dealershipand then like right across the street is like fucking houses that look like they're falling downand people are really struggling and it's just like you know it's just sort of riffing on like
05:06that's what America's becoming it's just becoming like you know one guy has 12 Ferrarisand then somebody across the street is like eating like fucking a hand sandwiches they used to sayback in the day right um hopefully that gap will shrink it'll come backagain. The middle class is the greatest thing. The greatest fucking thing ever about the UnitedStates is the middle. The middle class is the greatest. It's the best fucking, it's the bestplace to be. It's the best place to be, you know? My voice is cracking. I'm so emotional about it.Being middle class where you have a job and you have benefits and you can pay your fucking rentand you can make your fucking mortgage. Why people want to take that away? Like, that's,
05:53the people at top want to stay in power. That's, that's. The people at top want to stay in power. That'sYou fucking take care of the goddamn middle classIt's the greatestMiddle class is the fucking bestMonday through FridaySecond 5 o'clock FridayI don't have to think about this fucking jobuntil Monday
06:06That's for the rich guyThat's his fucking problemAnd you go outYeah you have a good timeYou got yourself a little boatYou know, whatever you doYou got a motorcycleYou know what I mean
06:17You get yourself a fuckingWhatever whatever the hell it isThat you wanted to doHopefully someone willbring that back um so anyway i did my my show last night and uh got a ton of material right now butit's like i got to like sort of hone it or whatever so thank you to everybody out there that satthrough that shit um but you know it was really just like it was i can't explain it man likethe crowd was just they it was perfect and just the jokes that i was talking about just really
06:51fit in i think because it was sort of everybody was there and you know it was makingin front of the Amazon guy, actually defending him how much I'm worried about him and his new marriage.You know, that's sort of the angle I was taking.And the guy lives on the other side of the Santa Monica Mountains, I think, out in Malibu.So I was just thinking, like, you know, there might be somebody in this crowd that actually knows this guy.Which, you know, added to the fun.I got to tell you something.Bianca and Dean Delray murdered.
07:22Dean Delray went up with, like, a bunch of new materials.It's one of the hardest I've ever seen him kill.And then Bianca came out with all of this new stuff.She had a big event.I don't want to take away from anything that she's doing,but she had a big event happen in her life.I'm very happy for her.And she was talking about that and was absolutely fucking hilarious.
07:44And then one of my buddies from Glenn Gary, Glenn Ross,John Pirichello, he came out.We got to chop it up.You know, saw a bunch of friends.It was sort of the, it was perfect.It was a beautiful theater, amazing crowd.And then I had a, you know, good enough set with what I was doing.And then I went home and slept in my own bed.
08:08How do you beat that?I'll tell you I beat that.I watched two in fucking incredible movies this week.When I started to watch last week, I was telling you guys about medium cool.I saw that one.And then, which I really think a lot of it,they guerrilla shot around the 1968 Democratic National Convention in Chicago.It's one of, like, it's, it's Robert Forster.
08:38I've just been going down a rabbit hole watching his movies.And then I saw this movie, The Parallax View,on Criterion Channel.If you're not on the Criterion Channel, it's like Cinemex for Smart People.There's still a lot of nudity, but it's done in a very tasteful way.The parallax view might be my favorite Warren Beatty movie, and it's 10 years.It's like Made in 73, came out in 74, so it's basically 10 years after the Kennedy assassination and the Warren Commission.And it sort of shows where a lot of people's heads were at that, like, this is like these corporations are getting out of control.
09:21and they might be behind this stuff and all that super paranoid kind of thriller thingand incredible cars and just like and then beautiful cinematography and all that you knowold billy's becoming like a little cinephile here I'm reading books now I'm off social mediaI finally just decided I don't know what it was I was just likeThis shit is just, it's not good for people.I want to get along with people.I would like to bring people together.I don't want to be angry.
10:00And I don't want to be under the control of nerds.And the fact that nerds have bots on social media designed to enrage their own countrymen is, it's just like, so what?So you can get more people on it so you can have a bigger fucking yacht.you're going to basically be taking a bat to the knees of your own fucking country is insaneto me. So I don't want to do that, man. I do not want to divide people. I don't want to getdivided. We got to come together here. The most dangerous message, public message you could haveis we should all come together and find common ground. That is the last thing, billionaire cuntswith yachts who profit off of the misery of others.
10:48just anytime anybody wants to bring people together they figure out a wayI don't know to tar and feather the person but anyway let's let's stay out of the darknessof that um I finally saw that fucking Ravens Bills game Jesus Christ um what a fucking goddamn gameI mean I'm still you know old school I like to see defense but uh I really like both ofthose teams.And then I was joking, you know, I was joking with the buddy of mine that, you know,people say I look like the coach and I look like the punter and now they're bothon the same team.
11:29And they're called the Bills.I have to get, during the football season, I got to go there, you know, and do a gig andmaybe get a picture of all three of us so people can realize that we, we, we're.We're not all the same person.It's disturbing how much we all look at like each other.Anyways, it's like the Brady bunch of bills.Here's the story.And I'm the oldest.
11:59So I'm Greg.And then Sean is Peter.And then the punter.I don't know.I got two kids under 10 men.I'm not going with the names anymore.The punter is Bobby Brady.I'm psyched for that game tonight.
12:14Commanders versus the Packers.Really like both of those franchisesand I'm psyched that the commanders are good again.Oh my God.Their fans, their fans went through itover the last 30 years.There was like, there was some dark, dark, dark, dark fucking seasonsover there for long, long, long periods of time.
12:41So it's great to see them back.I'm excited.I like that Bill's Jets game this week, I think, is going to be a fun one.You know, I'm an AFC guy, and I like that Chargers Raiders game on Monday night.That should be another fun one.And I got all the fucking free time in the world to watch all of this shit.So very excited.And I've been getting unbelievable, unbelievable quality time in with my kids.
13:10And I'm getting along great with my wife.So what the fuck do I care?life is good you know what i mean i have no complaints it was funny my my nea was being so like nice to melast night and it was the funniest shit ever i just said to where i go i just looked at i goi go why you being so nice to me and she laughed she goes why you being so nice to me i go because i loveyou she's like well i love you too and i'm like all right she's like fineBeing in a relationship, I just really realized it's so fucking like, it's so insane because it's like you go into it and you fall head over heels in love.And so in that moment, all of your sadness goes away.
14:02And then you put this, this unexpected expectation on the other person that you're going to feel like this with.them all the time and that they're going to make you happy.And it took me forever to realize that other people literally cannot make you happyif you're bringing all of this baggage to the party.So it's like it's almost like it's the emotional version of consumerism where it's just like,you know, I'm going to buy that car or I'm going to, you know, get this jacket or whatever.I'm going to get the NFL package, and then I'm going to be, oh, the NFL package.I mean, that makes you pretty happy.
14:47But you know what I mean?And then you get the thing, and then like a week later, you know what I mean?You still got molested, so, I mean, you know, it's just a jacket.Or you're still battling alcoholism, you know, but, you know, I got these sneakers.It just doesn't work for you.So, I don't know.But I will tell you, this car that I bought, I'll just tell you, I bought an old BMW.It's a six-speed.
15:17It's the most fun car I've ever driven.I've already taken it to the mechanic twice to get everything all dialed in.And I don't give a fuck.I don't give a fuck.There's an old car in my neighborhood.There's a bunch of them.And there's some, like, I get, like, excited when I see, like, if they're clean or whatever.I saw somebody in my neighborhood has this really, like, unique, like, 1950s.
15:46I don't know if it's a Chrysler or a Dodge or whatever.But all of us, they always have it sitting on the side of the road.And the other day I drove by and I saw whoever owned it got a car cover for it.And I got so fucking excited, you know, there's somebody, you know, up near where I,where I fly in their side yard they have one of those like 1961 to 66 Lincoln Continentalswith the suicide doors like the one from entourage and it has just been sitting there for yearsand it makes me sick to my stomach like oh my at least throw a fucking tarp on it you know what I meanjust go out there every once in a while and just make sure there's not a bunch of fucking
16:39mice and ratsjust building a nest in theredo something to itI don't know why I give a fuck about old shit like thatbut but I doso anywaycoming up this weekendI don't have
16:56I don't have shit to do I don't have any showsbut I'm definitely going to try to go outand get on stage I got really excited aboutthat show that I havehad last nightand I feel like you knowwith all this crazy stuff that's going onthat I really feel laser focused
17:13that my job is really just to go outmake people fucking laughand make them forget aboutwhatever the fuck is going onbecause God knowshow do youI don't knowI don't know
17:24the boiling waterI don't know how you bring it downto a simmer butanywaywhat else?What else?Yeah, that's it.That's all I got.
17:36This is why my podcastshave been a little shimmer.short lately is because I'm fucking happy. You know, I discovered the stair master. My body's like,what the fuck is this? So I've been like dropping weight because I can't get on the elliptical nowbecause we're down to just like two of them. So this has been, you want to the old Billy Freckles?You want to hear the old dad, the old fucking dad workout that I've been doing? I do an entirebody workout twice a week. I do my entire. And the Emmy Award and the Grammy Award goes to.Marvin Gay, what's going on?
18:12What's going on?You're not from Austria.They got too dark after a while.I was doing it.Oh, the Liberace one.And the Emmy goes to Liberace's far out, way out,keep on trucking, jive turkey special.Which was an inside joke because what they used to try to do
18:33with those old school performerswas they would try to like attach them to some,you know, here come the judge.some cool thing that the young kids was saying,but they still had this old act.Like, there is a Liberace special.Like, that Paul Lind Hollywood special,he really had kiss on it.
18:51And then there was a Liberace specialwhere he was singing like the doors,but doing it, like dress like Liberace.But then they also gave him like a turtleneck,I think, and he had like a medallion,like a piece medallion on it.It was just fucking,It was so, it was, you could basically, basically, people that were running television had aged out while the whole, the dawning of the age of Aquaria, all that fucking hippie shit had come in and they were kind of caught flat footed and they didn't know what to do.
19:24So they were just sort of trying to pick up some of the jargon and they were throwing it at these fucking 60 year old entertainers.It was, it was amazing.It was a lot of that.There's like footage of like Buddy Rich.he had a turtleneck onwith like the fucking chain on the outsidewith the medallionit was just that whole thing
19:47all of a sudden jazz big band swingrock was not a fadit had taken overand now of a sudden these rock starswere way more famousso they were trying to be likesort of likeI don't know
20:01cool like they wereit was just a reallyand that's also when media was really youngso they didn't know what to do like how do you handle when it changes um there wasn't anacdc out there to show you that no you just keep doing what you're doing and working at a highlevel and you will continue to work and you will grow old with your crowd and then also you'llhave new people coming in i will say something about having seen oasis is i've been singing theirsongs. I can't get them out of my head. I saw them Saturday night. It's now Thursday.
20:40And I still woke up this morning. So Sally can wait. I mean, to be at the Rose Bowl andhere, 100,000 people or whatever, whatever they had there singing along like that, it was reallyfucking, it's really psyched that I went to that. I missed out on a lot trying to make it as acomedian with all of these bands and shit.It's kind of funny that now I'm seeing them all these years later where, like,I could have seen Oasis on their first fucking tour, but when they came to town,I was, you know, I wasn't even working a funny bone.Like, where was I in my career then?
21:18I was doing, like, this guy, Roger Paul, who I'll forever be indebted to.He was one of the first guys that headlined me in the tri-state area.So I was probably, when they came through New York,York um on that first album 95 96 is that when it was i was probably doing you know he had somegig up in vermont that i used to do you drive the oh my god i fucking hated the 87 north oh mygod i hated that highway um because it always seemed like it was a fucking eight-hour drive iwould go all the way up there this guy mike i'm spacing on hislast name used to book me at the lake ontario playhouse i mean jesus christ i mean the first time i did that
22:09i took a bus up there i mean i can't even remember how fucking long that took or did i take a bus to likewhat if and i i think i met the headliner and then we drove up together and then he dropped me offat the bus station on the way back.Oh my God.Like, not Poughkeepsie.Ithaca or some shit.I can't even remember.Way back in the fucking day.
22:39And I used to go up that goddamn highway.One of my first goals as a fucking comedian was like,I'm going to make enough money where I can rent a carand not have to take a fucking bus.wow dude that that is a that is a really i remember the jacket i was wearing when i did thatthose are burned in my brain those memories but um anyway let's do the uh the reads herefor the week what do we got here uh oh square space just one read square space is the allin one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online whether you're
23:21just starting out, or scaling your business, Squarespace gives you everything you need to claimyour domain, showcase your offerings with a professional website, grow your brand, and get paidall in one place. SquareSpace gives you everything you need to offer services and get paid allin one place. I think I just said that, but they wrote it again. From consultations to eventsand experiences, showcase your offerings with a customizable website designed to attract clientsand grow your business.Get paid on time with professional on-brand invoices and online payments.Plus, streamline your workflow with built-in appointment scheduling and email marketing tools.
24:00Get discovered fast with integrated Squarespace SEO tools.Every website is optimized to be indexed with meta descriptions and auto-generatedsite map and more.So you show up more often on search engines and bring in more of your ideal customers.Squarespace makes it easy to showcase your expertise andengage clients with video content on your website, upload and organize your videos, create stunningvideo libraries, and even monetize your content by adding a paywall, perfect for online courses,exclusive tutorials, and premium workshops. Make smart a business decisions with Squarespace's
24:37intuitive, built-in analytic tools, review website traffic, learn where to focus engagementsand track revenue from bookings, invoices, or product sales, all in one place. Head to, go-to,or check out, Squarespace.com slash your unique URL.I don't know why I don't have one.I imagine it's Burr.For a free trial, when you're ready to launch, use offer code Burr, B-U-R-R to save 10%off your first purchase of a website or domain.That's Squarespace.com slash burr.
25:10That's where you want to go.For your free trial, when you're ready to launch, use offer code Burr, B-U-R-R to save 10%off your first purchase of a web site.website or domain.All right, I got to talk about something in that Bill's Ravens game.I hope Lamar Jackson isn't going to get any sort of fine for pushing that person backin the crowd.Like, you know, there's no other place in the world where some regular person would walk
25:41up to two professional athletes or two people, we'll just say they're not professional,two guys that fucking size in a bar that fucking tall and smack both of them on top of thefucking head um and i just don't buy into the thing that professional athletes you know are heldto this standard that they're not supposed to retaliate when something like that happens i feel likethem not hitting people back this might be nuts in the stands is what creates more of thatfucking behavior um i feel like if you want respect you act respectful if you smack somebody ontop of the head, they smack you back on top of the head.But that's not how the world works, is it?
26:21That's not how the world works.How the world works is that people can fucking do and say whatever they want to you.And then if you hit them back, all of a sudden, they get a big payday or you get in trouble.You get arrested.I don't know.It's a fucking weird world when it comes to that shit.So anyway.I would hope that they would go a little Dana White on that.
26:49You know?Where, you know, Dana White kind of like sticks up for whatever he's doing.I like how he does that.I wish more of these mainstream sports, I can't say UFC's not mainstream.They fucking, they're global at this point, right?But like, you know, at some point, you know, the NFL, okay, if somebody to stand hits a professional athlete,and they hit him back.Like, I feel like the people that run the league also need to talk to the fans.
27:23You know, like, hey, don't hit our athletes.Okay, you don't want to get hit.Don't hit people.Having said that, athletes, when fucking jerkoffs do this, let us handle it.We'll kick them out of the stadium.All right?But fans, just because you buy a ticket doesn't mean that you can go there and say whatever you want, throw shit, spit, and hit people.you know
27:45grow theyou knowfucking act like a personis that sogoddamn hardwell is itanywayall right
27:58that's the podcastfor this weekeverybodyI'm so psyched thatfootball seasonis startedI'm still watchingmy Red Sox
28:04they're just closingout with theOakland A'sthat are playingin Sacramentoat a minor leagueballparkand I got to
28:12give a shout outto OaklandBay Areasports fans.I mean, they've literallylost everything.The Golden State Warriors,you know, they play
28:27in San Francisco now.The Raiders have gone to Vegas.The A's have left.The California Golden Seals,they were the Oakland Seals at one point.They moved to Cleveland, became the barons.And I think they maybe got absorbedby the Minnesota North Stars,
28:41which are now the Dallas Stars.I can't remember.But, like, Oakland's one of my favorite cities.Great fucking people.Great food scene, great theaters, all of that type of stuff.You know, I don't know.And then all of these tech bros brought up all of San Francisco.So then the Caucasians that can't afford to be in fucking San Francisco, then they got to go into Oakland and then the people of color get moved on and all of this fucking shit.
29:10At least they can keep their sports teams, right?Nope. I don't understand it. I do understand it. I just think that it's part of this whole leagues getting involved with, like, sports gambling.So, I mean, when I was a kid, they avoided gambling, the mob and going to Vegas like the fucking plague.And now they're, they're all up in it. I mean, what are sports leagues going to do next? Get involved in loan sharking?I don't know.Anyway, it's a different world.I'm an old man.I don't understand it.
29:50What are you going to do?All right, that's the podcast.Have a great weekend, you cunts.You know, I don't know what to tell you with, you know, with everything that's going on.Just try to be a good fucking person.That's all I can say.All right.Treat each other with respect.
30:06All right.That's the podcast.And enjoy the, uh, the, uh, the, what am I trying to say?bonus episode of Thursday afternoon just before Friday, Monday morning podcast.Pick from a Thursday in the past by the great Andrew Themis.All right, I'll see.Hey, what's going on?It's Bill Byrne.
30:27It's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday, September 11th, 2017.What's going on?How are you?How's it going?More hurricanes.More hurricanes.And this is the 17th anniversary of the attack.on the World Trade Center, the Pentagon, and then the one that went down in Pennsylvania.
30:49You know, I mean, Jesus Christ, what is going on this week?It's just all gloom and frigging doom.You know, I was sitting there watching the news with NIA, right?And they're showing highlights of this, was it, Hurricane Ursa?What is it?Jim Ursay was coming into fucking Miami, right?And there's some fucking, you know, white dude out there, of course, being like,you know, it's not coming down real hard.
31:14They show like five white people out there.And Nia literally said to me, she goes,what is wrong with white people?I had to laugh.I was like, you know, for the most part, we grew up in cul-de-sex.There's no excitement.There's no drive-by.There's no, you know, cops beating you up for no reason, generally speaking.
31:37You know, it's kind of, hey, knock it off over there.Straight up, I know your father.You know, it's kind of like that.I guess, you know, a hurricane comes around you.You need a story.Shit, you need a story.I have no idea why.I came out with a hacky 80s joke, though, about fucking the hurricanes.
31:54It's why don't they have all the people stand where the reporters are?Because the reporters never die.They're always standing in the fucking middle of the shit.I don't know how these news agencies know exactly where to fucking stand, but somehow they stand just enough in the shit.I don't buy it.I don't buy it.Um, she has one of them died yet, you know, how do fuck? I mean, how to fuck? You know, Jesus Bill, spit it out. Sorry, I flew today. Once I, I'm already dumb, but once I fly, it's just, you know, breathing that fucking pressurized air up there. Um, I mean, it's fucking inevitable. If you stand out inside in a fucking hurricane, something's going to fall on top of you. It's bad enough. Like, I love when they sit there and they tell these people, you need to evacuate. You got to get out of there. It's like, and go where?to my summer home
32:45Don't you rememberThe fucking banks leftHalf this country upside downIn their fucking houseIt's fucking unrealI don't understandLike where these peopleAre supposed to go
32:56Like where do they goEverybody just goes northAnd sits in a fucking waffle houseFor three, four daysAll the hotels get bought upAnd if you don't have moneyWhat are you supposed to do?Anyways
33:09At least it was knocked downto a category three manI read some fucking, you know, read some horrible shit about Houston.That's still going on.Now there's all mold and there's all, you know, you don't need to listen to this.You see it all fucking day.This is all just gloom and doom, all fucking misery here.So, why don't I go to something positive?
33:29I actually, a friend of the podcast, one of the great drummers of all time, Stephen Adler.He sent me this thing.He's got a, they're doing something for Ronnie James Dio on our,October 6th at 6.30 p.m.Bowl for Ronnie.Celebrity.Oh, Christ, my eyes are going.Celebrity bowling tournament.
33:52All right?Oh, fuck.I'm not going to be able to read this.I can't.Okay, here we go.Oh, got to love that you can enlarge it.I wish I could do this to the world, man.I have to get glasses.
34:01Why won't I just give in to the fact that I need glasses?All right.October 6, 2017, 6.30 p.m.Celebrity bowling tournament.Bowl for Ronnie.Oh, for God's sake.Stephen. Where's it going to be at? Oh, at PinsBowling Center
34:1612655 Ventura BoulevardStudio City, California9-1-604.Go down there. It's for a great causeand, you know, have yourself a whiteRussian, you know,and tell Donnie to shut the fuck up,okay, and it'll be down there for a great cause.
34:34All righty, there you go. I'll put up a link.I'm going to post the wholeflyer onthe Monday morningthing of a jig.There's another guy.I got the TV on there.I'm on my Twitter account.
34:46There's a guy standing out there.Jesus Christ.Standing out there in the fucking rain.Like the video, Al Roker's out there.How many hurricaneshas that poor bastard stood out in?Now it's going up to Tampa.Then it looks like it's going to go right over the
35:05Florida Gators football stadium.Somehow diearound fucking making Georgia.what they're saying? Is that the trajectory?I don't know what. Anyways.So, I was in Mississippi.Flew into fucking Mississippi on Thursday night, and I missed the entire New England Patriotsgame. And from what I've heard, as a Patriots fan, was probably better to just land and find
35:32out that they got this shit kicked out of them. Really, just kind of in the fourth quarter,though. I mean, it was kind of a shootout with no fucking defense as far as I could tell.And the chiefs are all excited doing fucking cartwheels because they let up fucking 27 points.I don't know what they're so fucking excited about.But I will tell you as a Patriots fan, I'm pretty fucking happy.I'm going to tell you why.I'm going to tell you why.Because I don't like the fucking worst thing ever is when before you even start the season,
36:02those fucking hacks on the sports shows go, you know, they talk about your team.Like, can they go on defeated?Right?They start doing that shit.So before the fucking season already starts, you already got that fucking monkey on your back.Every fucking fat douche who never got picked in gym class coming in with his fucking loafers and his sweaters,waddling into your locker room, just trying to rip the team apart and just adding, just distraction.So right out of the gate, we fucking lose, all of that is gone.
36:33And then immediately they go, oh, oh, oh, wait a minute, wait a minute.Remember when you're saying Tom Brady, after his last game,was the greatest, without a doubt, of all time.Now we're the exact same people, one fucking game later, saying he's too old.So I'm loving that.I'm loving all of that.I would actually love if we lost next week, too, but then they would have all those, you know,what's because of time to hit the panic, blah, blah, blah, blah, you'd have to deal with that.
37:04So I'm hoping, you know, they win the next three, four.They lose another one, four and two, then they're five.Just nobody's paying attention.No, they treat us like the Indianapolis Colts.Remember when they were 13 and 0 and nobody said shit for whatever fucking reason?Which is really a reoccurring thing with the Indianapolis Colts.No matter what they do.Hearing aids in the fucking helmets.
37:22Fucking pump and crowd noise in.Tanking the final third of a season to get Andrew Luck.Stealing the Patriots offense.Fucking being on the rules committee.Changing the rules of passing.And on and on and fucking on.Right?Going 13 and 0, nobody's saying shit.
37:39they're just a bunch of country boys out there.We won't pay attention to them.I love it.I love that we, I mean, I hate our fucking defense,but I haven't liked our defense since we won our first three.I think ever since then, we've always been like, you know,well, we're going to score, you what are going to score 35?We're going to score 38.
37:56I always just, I just kind of feel like we've been like that for too long.And occasionally we've brought in a shutdown corner like a Rivas.Oh, then Taylib, whatever the fuck his name was,who was here for like a year or two.He was fucking great.But then all of a sudden they're like,yeah, okay, now I want to get paid.They're like, yeah, nah, nah.
38:17So, anyways, yeah.So I just, I watched a little bit of the highlights.I mean, when you give up an 85-yard touchdown in your corner,like, fucking lets the guy go by himbecause he thinks he's got help over the topand the guy just isn't there.I mean, I really don't think that's the chief kicking our assas much as that's,
38:36just horrible defense you know what i mean i would say though that that guy running for likesix thousand yards against us is definitely a concern but you know what are we supposed to win itevery fucking year you know i'm all right with it i love it i love it so there we go so now whatnow what we go 11 and 5 they'll fix it but i don't know you know what we do we always fuckinghave guys and then they make the pro bowl and then they ask for more money then we let him goand then we've got to build it back up again.So we'll see.It is definitely towards the end of Tom Brady's career.
39:10You know, I don't know how it could have gone any fucking better.You know, what are you going to tell?I mean, you know, you know why so many people flipped out about that,aside from the fact that they hate the Patriots,it's that's how people, that's how most people live their lives.You know, they take one loss and they just pack it in.Oh, now we're never going to do it.And I'm including a lot of Patriots fans.
39:34But you can never listen to those sports showsBecause even like the people who call inYou know, they always use words like concernedI'll tell you right nowI'm really concerned about our past defense on third downsAre you?What are you concerned about?As if you're like you're a part of the coaching staff
39:55And if it doesn't work, you're going to get firedYou're going to have to put your house up for saleAnd relocate your kids once againWhat exactly are you concerned about?But congratulations to the Chiefs.I've actually, I've always liked the Chiefs.I used to always watch those Super Bowl highlightsand that one with Hank Stram.
40:13You know, 64 toss power trap.It was always like one of the great ones.He's just sitting there laughing his fucking balls off.And everybody loved that back then.But now if they had that audio,he'd have to issue an apology to the Minnesota Vikingsand Bud Grant and the family and all that bullshit.But so anyways, I was flying back from Alabama.
40:32And so the only football games I was able to catchI watched the Green Bay Seattle game,which I know Seattle fans hatebecause they definitely seemed likethey were getting the short end of the sticks,certainly on that phantom punch injection,which I didn't see.I just saw the replay of it.
40:50Of course, it happened on a fucking pick six.Always fun to watch Pete Carroll loopblow a fucking gasket.But that guy is a great coach,and that's a great defense.You know what I mean?The fucking Legion of Doom, you know?Legion of Boom, sorry.
41:04Boom.Right in your ass with the steroids.Fuck all you guys.If you're going to bring up every fucking goddamn time,Jesus Christ, we bend a card in fucking New England.I'm fucking trashing everybody.I'm doing research on all your fucking teams.And I'm going to do what you guys do.
41:24Every fucking time you give me shit about my,I'm fucking fine.I'm going to fucking look in the corners of your franchise.Jesus Christ, like 30% of that fucking team tested pause defense.tested positive for fucking steroids, and they're still just talking about how great they are.Unbelievable.Oh, that's another Colts one.The guy caught the fucking allegedly deflated ball, which was never fucking proven.
41:50It's never fucking proven, yet Tom still got fucking suspended.Everybody's basically paying the price for the under suspension of Ray Rice, I think, when they go into Roger Goodell.How psyched was he that the Patriots lost after those bar stool guys had that hilarioust-shirt of him just like a fucking clown.Is there anything better than justColin Say he's a fucking clown?All your accomplishments just go rightout the window. That fucking guy,
42:16Roger Goodell, makes $30 million a year.$30 million a year. If you can catch him walking to his carand you go, hey dude, you're a fucking clown.I'm telling you, as much as hehas $30 million, probably $16after taxes, it bugs him.He's going to be thinking about it when he'sdrinking his little donkey's coffee in the morning.
42:34the fuck is that guy to call me a clown talking himself you know when he's putting his suit onhe's got the jacket tying shirt he looks like one of those guys he gets everything on he putsthe pants on last cluny already has his shoes on with the fucking socks and the sock guardsyou got him talking to himself as he's adjusting the nut and the fucking the knot right there in themirror um so anyway so i watched that game and uh the defenses uh looked obviously great in thosefucking games and uh and now i got the i got the cowboysand Giants in the background.I did watch the MotoGP race.
43:10I just watched the big boys.I didn't get to watch MotoGP 3 or 2.But what a fucking race.How about Mark Marquez just saying?You know, DeVizioz is just like,hey, man, I'm going to take the fucking points.Mark Marquez is like, fuck that.Fuck that.
43:26I'm going for the victory.For you guys who don't watch motorcycle racing,it was raining out and they still race.They don't quite go as fast,but they were going like over 150.50 miles an hour in the fucking rain on each other's asses.And this guy, what the fuck was his name?He started the race.
43:42He fucking shot right up the side into first pace.What the fuck is being able to pee?I can't.I'm new to the sport.I don't know all their names.So anyways, no, it didn't.It was that guy.Bill, why don't you just look the shit up so you can talk?
43:58You know what happened.You just can't remember the fucking names.What was the guy's name?Larry Legend.Is that the guy who fucking shot?up in first before he fucking wiped out.There was more goddamn accidents today, or yesterday, I should say, when they were racing.And anyways, everything that Formula One needs, Moto GP has.
44:16It was a race right down to the end.And fucking Mark Marquez said, fuck this, I'm going for the points.Because if he got to 25, he was going to be tied with DeVitcio.So he passed him on the fucking last lap or second to last lap and then held him off.You know, it was some Phil Mickelson shit, you know.I'm not going to fucking, you know, just try to get back out on the fairway.I'm going to try to put it in the hole.Then I'm going to foreputt and walk away with sweaty tits.
44:40I mean, that's what this man did, but basically on a motorcycle.So that was very enjoyable.But let's get down.Let's talk about going down south.Now that the Patriot season is evidently over and Tom Brady is over the hill.You know, the Atlanta Falcons won today.And the New England Patriots lost.The exact opposite thing that happened the last time.
45:03So there you go.I don't know what that means.I'm sure Atlanta Falcon fans, if they could switch, you know, the results with the Patriots, I think they would, you know, but evidently the fucking football sky is falling.You know what I fucking hate about fantasy football?That is literally taken over, like, they used to have, like, in the sports pages, they used to just have, they would have, like, the leaders.It was really easy to find the leaders.You could collect football cards and shit.I used to know so much more about the game.
45:31I don't know anybody's fucking name.anymore. Anytime you go to any sort ofwebsite where they havelike fantasy, when you want to look atstats, it's all this fantasy football shit.Get this guy on your team,Peyton Manning's fuckingadvertising that stuff.
45:49I don't know.Should I just give in?Should I just give? I don't want to do that shit.I don't want to have somebody on a team.Actually, I don't really hate any other team in the NFL.Do I hate any of the team? I hate Jim Ursay.That's it. That's the only personI don't like, you know, there's certain people that act like fucking idiots in the league
46:07that I don't particularly care for, but that I don't hate the team, you know?Here's another classic.The Cowboys are probably going to beat the Giants, because this is what the Cowboys and Giants do.The Cowboys win in the beginning part of the year, and then the Giants always fuckinglose, and then the end they come back around.And they do the same thing down in New York.So time to move on from Eli.He only steps up in every fucking big moment in January his entire career.
46:31I think it's time to get rid of it.him because he fucked up in September.You know, I'm going to look this shit up.Did that Ezekiel Elliott guy play?Seems to me, what's weird is they threw out his case in the real world.But it's like in the NFL, you need less burden of proof.Elliot Cowboys, is that his fucking name?Elliot Cowboys to play.
47:05Is he playing?Judge Grant's temporary restraining order to request for Dallas Cowboys running back,probably from that psycho.That person who's seeming like a psycho.Okay, Ezek Ezekiel Elliott ruling makes you, I've been out of the loop.All right, so he played.That's good.That's good, because the clown was going to over suspend him.
47:25Oh, look at this.The NFL is back, and so are the 15 reasons.It's a complete disaster.Hey, how about those Los Angeles Rams coming back wearing the Lamar Lundy fucking blue and white,the fearsome,Merlin Olson, Rosie Greer.Was it Lamar Lundy?I always forget him.
47:46And then, uh, uh, what's his face there?Uh, I can never name all four of them.I always end up forgetting one.I always remember Merlin Olson, Rosie Greer.Oh, Jesus Christ, the coolest one of them all.Deacon Jones.And was it Lamar Lundy?Lamar.
48:01Lamar LundyIs this even a podcastIs this you guys listen to me fucking yeahThere you go rightLamar LundyWas he a Stealer or was he a Ram?He was he a Ram?Lamar Lundee was he a Stealer?
48:12Ram's fierce and force himAll right I got itAll right so anywaysLet's get let's let's let'sI'm not watching TV anymoreNow I'm focusedNow I'm focusedOh here's Eli driving him in
48:22What's he got hisSecond and 8 809 to goIn the third quarterEli calling a fucking audibleover the middleFire up first downmoving the ballCowboys fans are all going to be
48:38saying you need to fucking benchfucking quarterbackand bring back Roger Starbackso we did thethe horseshoe casino in MississippiI had so much fucking fun doing thatalthough it was just a part of the South manthat was just deep deep deep deep south
48:56deep south hang a fucking rightdon't stop in Alabamakeep goingstop right before you get toLouisianaandit was justI don't know
49:12the pace of the people down therewas driving me fucking nutsyou know I ordered room service twiceI kept ordering waterand they just wouldn't bring it up to meso the second time I saiddid youwhere's the glass is there a glass of water
49:24and she's likewhat non trayand I'm likeand and that's what's on the tray it just fucking walks out there's no oh i'm sorry i'll go get yousome it's like it wasn't on the tray so then i go to use like nothing fucking worked i go to usethe fucking ironing board the ironing board was fucked up i was trying to make it stand up it wouldn'tstand up i had to bend the piece back it wouldn't and then i finally just had a fucking meltdownand i'm admitting this to the casino i jumped up and
49:59down on it. And then I pulled the shark nose back. I felt bad afterwards and I tried to bendit back, but it's all fucked up. If you wonder why it's fucked up, I finished it off. It wasalready fucked up. So if you want to send me a bill, I apologize. And then the next day,me, Dean and Bartnick drove over into Tuscaloosa to go on. We went to go see Alabamaversus Fresno State. We had a great fucking time. We met some people. We met some people.people there, some friends of mine, and they hooked us up. We were in, I think, this fuckingskybox, no sunburn. You know, it was a cupcake game. Who's kidding? Who? Against FresnoState. It was a day game. It's like I went, but I have to go back there again. I want to go
50:43there a night game when they play like Texas A&M, Mississippi, or fucking, you know, anybody.Like, LSU or some shit like that. I want to go back for that and I want to sit in thefucking crowd the next time. This was like, it was too nice. It was awesome. I had a great time.but it was likeI didn't get to feel the crowd a little bitwhich was perfect because I had a show that nightso I didn't drink I'm still not drinkingand I didn't get a sunburned
51:07so it worked out for me but I feel likeI kind of went to a preseason gameso we're walking out of thereand fucking Joe Bartnicksomehow found the oneRussian guy in Alabamaand shit escalatedquickly
51:24you know Bartnick walks upto the guy the guy I don't know howthey got into a conversation.The guy said he was, somehow he said he always heard ustalking, he said something to us. We're waiting forthe elevator. The guy said thathe was Russian. So Barnick's a hugePenguins fan.
51:41And he goes, oh, he'slike, oh, you're Russian. He goes, hey, you know,he's like, Gino Malkin.You like Malkin. Right? Hey, you like Malkin.The guy's like, nah, nah.He's like, I like, I like Govetchkin.And then he goes, you likea vex shit. And then he gets right in the guy's
51:57face, and he goes, zero cups.Zero cups.He's like a vetchkin.He goes, uh-huh, and starts doing the choking thing.Right?Joe had a couple of sasparilis.Who's kidding who, right?So they fucking start going back and forth, and Joe keeps giving him shit.
52:14The guy's going, oh, come on, man, it's a team game.And he goes, he's got zero cups.How can you like zero cups?Zero cups.Keeps acting like the guy's choking on a fucking dick, and the Russian guy's getting mad.Joe's fucking around.He's not seeing it.And the fucking elevator cannot come fast enough
52:32Because it looks like it's going to escalate into a fightWhich, you know, Joe BartnickAnd this Russian guy was actually taller than JoeBut he was skinnierBut you know, he's so so RussianYou know what I mean?So, you know, you know, those fucking peopleThey'd be fucking bitch slapped Hitler
52:49All the way back to fucking BerlinYou knowLet people out of prisons and say,Hey, remember what we threw you in there for?Why don't you come out and go do thatto people who look like this, and that's what they did.Half of them weren't bare feet.I mean, I know it's a legend at this point, but it's pretty much fucking true.
53:06So now I'm concerned, because they're both, Joe's like whatever, six, four.This guy's like six, five.And I kept going, Joe, hey, man, hey, Joe, take it easy.He just kept going, hey, guys got no cops.Hey, come on, he's a choker.He just kept doing it.And then he's laughing at the guy.And I don't know.
53:22He just wasn't seeing the guy getting mad.So the guy goes, hey, why don't we go around the corner?And Joe's like, hey, let's go around the corner.And they walk around the corner.I'm like, are they going to go fight?And then there was this awkward little moment between him.And me and Dean is stone sober.Like, what the fuck?
53:37So finally, I just go to my buddy.He goes, is there some stairs we can take?Because the elevator was taken forever.And he goes, yeah, we can take the stairs.So we go to take the stairs.And we're going to walk out.And the Russians guy's like, I would take the stairs too.Now they're walking down the stairs.
53:53And it's just like, I couldn't separate him.I couldn't get him separated.And I don't know what happened.By the end of it, they were like best of friends, ready to go drink some fucking vodka.We actually left the game halfway through the fourth quarter because we had to go do our show.But we wanted to go around and get a picture in front of the Bear Bryant statue.And we actually got one in front of the Nick Saber one.There's one other guy that nobody, everybody always forgets.
54:21He's only won one championship.But it was pretty fucking amazing to go.I'm telling you, if you get a fucking.chance, man. Everybody wants to go to the ballparks, all the baseball parks, to go to a fuckingLambo field and that type of shit, which I understand. But, you know, all you guys who live inpro football cities in, you know, New York, Chicago, all that pro shit. Boston, don't sleepon going to big time college football, man. I'm telling you. SEC, Big Ten, you got to go to theUniversity of Michigan. You got to go to a horseshoe in Ohio State. You got to go to one of them.
54:54You just have to experience 100,000 fucking people going absolutely fucking nuts.Pick a good rivalry game.Go on fucking Stubhub, pay through the nose.Go out there.Get fucking hammered.Go to the game.And then please tell me what you see in the NFL.Because I don't think the NFL can nearly touch us the excitement.
55:10Although, haven't said that.How great is it that it's fucking football season?And this is what always happened.Football season goes by like the summer.You know what I mean?Like every year in the summer, I'm like, okay, it's May.We're going into May.I'm really going to pay attention and try to enjoy.
55:26And remember, like, hey, it's this summer.We're in the summer.Let's fucking enjoy this shit.I still feel that way, even though I live out in L.A.Where it's summer all the fucking time, right?And every fucking year, all of a sudden it's just like September.And football season's the same thing.You're like, oh, my God, fucking football season, it's fucking great.
55:46Then all of a sudden, it's like it's the playoffs.And you're so focused on the playoffs, that all of a sudden, like,it's that week between the championship.championship game in the Super Bowl and you're like, what the fuck happened?You're so busy putting money on the games and betting on the fucking games, you don't realizenot only is there only two teams left. There's only one game left. And then we're fucked.Then we're fucked. And then the panic starts to set. And then you think, well, at least I gotMarch madness. Right? At least I got March madness. And then I got the hockey and the basketball
56:22playoffs. And then there's just, it's just, you know what it really is? It's just July.It's that one panic of JulyAnd into August, the dog days of baseballThat you have to fucking deal withThat's how I ended up getting into fuckingI think Formula One and all that shitJust to cover that and then I totally got into itI don't know.
56:40I feel like I've been talking in circles for like fucking 25 minutesWhat is this?How many awful minutes has this been?26, see that?You're a comedian long enough.You can sense time.I had this feeling that I'd been bombing for 26 fucking minutes.So congratulations to everybody's team.
56:56team who won this week, including the Chiefs.I'm not a cunt.And everybody who lost, hey, it's only, you know,it's just one week.Fucking relax.25 days and no booze.25 days of no booze.I'll tell you how well I'm doing with no booze.
57:14When I went out, I went through the duty-free, and I saw that McCallum rarecask black, which I'd never heard of.And I'm like, I am fucking buying that when I come back.off the plane. And when I got off the plane, I, you know, I think I flew Delta out and Unitedon the way back. So it wasn't there. But I was going to buy it. You know, I'm sitting attalking to myself, like, am I done? Like, I was actually thinking on the plane today, like,I might be done for good. And then I came home and I ordered these whiskey glasses. And I'm like,well, that's not a good sign. Like, if you just say I'm done with heroin and then you go to
57:54Amazon, or you go to like syringe.net, you know, and you just order a bunch offucking drug paraphernalia.I guess as long as you don't buy the drugs, right?I just, hey, officer, I collect crack pipes, okay?Can I have my license back, please?You're not going to find any residue in there.So anyway, I was actually thinking on the plane.I'm like, am I, what if I just, next year, I,
58:24turn 50, right? And I'm just done with the booze. And then I just become like this yogaPilates guy. I just go sting. Right? Gordon Sumner. I become that fucking guy. You know,I look good for my age. If I actually fucking did that through my 50s, I would look fuckingunbelievable at 60 for a 60 year old. And you figure by then, you know, how good tanning beds are going to be,good the hair plugs are going to be, you know, and I bet I'll be microchip by then,which I can also have, like, the added Viagra option to it.You know what I mean?I think I can stay in the game for another 10 years after that.
59:10I don't know, what do you guys think?Have you guys thought about the future you, the microchipped you, full head of hair and abs?All right.Let me read some advertising here.All righty.There, that is done.That is done.So I'm actually toying with that idea.
59:33You know?No booze.Done.Done.I don't know if I can, I don't know.I understand why alcoholics, like, they take it one day at a time because it's just sitting there.Like, I'm never going to do this.No, just today.
59:50I'm just not going to do it today.Just not going to do it today.You know, sometimes you've got to do it, though, right?You know, your wife's talking to youand you're sitting there looking at her smiling and nod.She's thinking, oh, I love when he looks at me that way.He still loves me. I can see it in his eye.And you're actually thinking about that bottle of booze that you bought.
01:00:13How are you going to go out in the garage like a fucking degenerate?Sit in some dirty chair. You don't give a shit, right?Pour that glass.you set the bottle downit touches the floor you hear it echoingin your garageyou knowthat garage that's yours
01:00:32rightthat garage that you made the decisionyou weren't going to be like thesemost of these guyswho let their wivesnot only take over the housebut also the garage rightand they just fill it up with all their shit
01:00:42you can't even get the fucking car in therethat garage is yoursyou put up the dark boardyou get the kegatorthat's your little fucking tree for ityou knowI mean, who's kidding who?You're a guy.
01:00:56You're still a child.Just because you can grow a beard doesn't mean you're mature, all right?Would you look at all these stars doing these fucking commercials now?Jesus, fucking Christ, can you leave something on the bone for the struggling actor?Can't you just do a fucking ad over in Guam like you used to?Anyways.Well, we'll dream waiver.I want to redo my fucking garage again.
01:01:25I got to add something else in there.I got to add a fucking, you know,now that I never have my truck in there,you know, I put it in storage,so I kind of flip-flop and everything like thatwith the new car and then the old car.I haven't driven my truck in like two weeks, man.I'll miss it.
01:01:40I got to do that someday.I got to have the garage with the fucking room above it.You just have to have it.That's what it is, you know?And then what you do you have a fucking prenuptial agreementthat if we get divorced,I get the garage and the room above it, and you cannot fucking evict me.That will be mine, and you will get the fucking house.
01:01:58But, you know, something.Fucking, they'll just be, but I just don't feel safe with him being out there.And they'd cry their way into getting that too.You know?I swear to God.I wonder if anybody, like, when a hurricane's coming, and if they're in an unhappy marriage,like what's going through their mind?You just sitting there with your wife, you know?
01:02:21She doesn't know that you bought a.boat that you tied to the back of the house, a little fucking rowboat, you know.You can't see it.You convince her to try to ride out the storm and then when the water comes in, you're like,see you later.Oh, Jesus, Bill.All right, let's get to the fucking questions this week.I apologize.
01:02:38You know what?I don't apologize.I don't apologize for fucking making up shit.I'm making up shit, man.What the fuck you want from me?All right, booze lineups.Boo's lineups.Did I talk about everything I want to talk about first?
01:02:56Before I get into this shit.Let's see here.Stephen Adler, Ronnie James, Alabama versus Fresno State, Mississippi, horseshoe, ironing board.Oh yeah, when I was waiting for the fucking car to come around, I was standing out in front of the hotel going to never come to this fucking state again.I was so fucking everything was going so goddamn slow.But, you know, once I got over my five-second temper tantrum, I realized that I actually had a great time there.So I'm going to come back.next time I'm coming back
01:03:22it's either when Ole Missor Mississippi State has a gameI'm going to a fucking game thatand I hope they're playing Alabamaor some shit like thatJoe finds a RussianI talked about thatno booze 25 days
01:03:33old Billy fucking red velvet cakeswas going to take a month offnow all of a sudden he thinkshe's the second coming to stingyou knowsting held onto the hairhe was losing the roof and then all of a suddenhe started doing yoga
01:03:46he started standing on his fucking headand all that blood went to the top of his headstarted feeding the roots.That's what happened.Maybe mine will come back.Fantasy football is taking over trading cards and all that shit.I talked about that.Well, I guess it's time to get on the fucking with the booze lineups here.
01:04:03All right.These guys, booze lineup.Hey, Billy Bullock chops.I'm a listener from a listener from the UK.By the way, it's 16 to 3.Well, you guys already know this shit.Dallas playing some good defense.I'm a listener from the UK.
01:04:19Hey, I managed to get to your show in Manchester, and it was brilliant.Ah, thank you.I was nervous about that show.You know, all I knew was this fucking soccer hoodlums from the 80s.You know, the fucking neo-Nazis falling around, man united.That's all I knew.I read Among the Thugs, and to me, that was Manchester.He said, I wanted to send you my team of drinks, but I don't watch baseball.
01:04:40Oh, your batting lineup, okay.I tried when I was in New York to watch baseball, but I found it boring.Same with football.Fucking boring.He means soccer here, I guess, because he says, I only watch that for the World Cup.I mainly watch Rugby League.You watch that Seven Nation League, where if you come and lash, you get the wooden spoon.NFL for the Seahawks cricket, and I'm a big fan of F1.
01:05:04Dude, if you can sit through fucking cricket, you can get through a baseball game.I mean, that's the same thing, except cricket lasts for fucking five days.I decided to send you my list of drinks as the Formula One teams.I don't really drink that many neat spirits or whiskey,so I included everything else I drink when I want to get pissed.All right.Leading off, he's got Mercedes-Benz team.For those you don't watch F-1, they're like the fucking cream of the crop.
01:05:32Well, you really should have batting cleanup,but I get this.You're going to do this more like, you know,how they rank football teams, the best to the worst.All right.IPA beers.Yeah, I'm one of those guys.but I don't piss people off talking about it.
01:05:49My pole position drink quite happy to drink these beers all night.Drink IPAs all night.Jesus Christ, it's like drinking a Thanksgiving dinner.Each pint is so fucking, I fucking hate.They're so fucking, you know, every once in a while,if I just want to have one beer,but I know I'm going to drink 30, I'll have an IPA.Because by the time I'm done with it, I'm just like,
01:06:13Jesus, I've had enough, enough with the fucking hops.good lord it's like overacting quit bugging your eyes out of your fucking head i get it beer's supposedto have hops well as long as you don't drink any of those stupid beers that have thosethose aggressive for no reason names you know angry fuckface kick your mother in the cunt beerwhatever they have ale angry ale all right his second batter would be the ferrari team jackDaniels black label old number seven whatever you want to call it uh been around for these allthese years and it's and it is as popular as it's always been usually drink it with a cokerarely neat oh jesus this guy's not even in triple a here batting third red bull
01:07:01mount gay with mount gay eclipse rum all right if you're in your twenties i forgive you forthis lineup i've been drinking it with ginger beersince these guys were Jaguar.Oh, the Red Bull.Sorry, the Red Bull team.I'm a fucking idiot.So I'm sorry.I thought you were drinking Red Bulls and Mount Gay Eclipse rum.
01:07:23I was like, what in the fuck?I'm sorry, I apologize.All right, Force India team is Zabraoka vodka.Never heard of that.Usually with apple juice.Dude, I got to be honest, you drink like a woman.Usually with apple juice and a little umbrella in there,and I sort of spin around a couple of times.
01:07:42fatness. I'm new to good vodka, like a few Brits. I was drinking paint striper vodka andRed Bull from 17. All right. The Williams Stella Artois Larger. It's okay, Williams teamis the Stella Artois. I don't know how to say half this shit. The old dependable. I neverheard of it. But doesn't win many races anymore. Still nothing beats turning up at a mate's house withthe crate of Stella for a day of drinking.Toro Rosso team would be Sailor Jerry Rum.This guy's a rum drinker.When I started drinking rum and moved to the Red Bull team not long after, all right.
01:08:22Melisi didn't mix that with anything.The Haas, the American, Formula One, Jack Daniel, single barrel, one for the Americans.There you go.The only whiskey I really drink neat.Good man, there's hope for you.Renault, that poor-ass team.Bitter.The classic British drink, which is not served warm.
01:08:40It served at cellularCellar temperature.I don't even know what bitter is.McLaren, Yeagermeister.Not as good as it used to be,but I have some great nights drinking this stuff.How the fuck anybody drinks more than one of those is beyond me?The Sober team.
01:08:57I don't know who that is.Bringing up the rear, it's cider.Not even close to a go-to drink,but I'm glad it's there.I fucking hate cider.Love the podcast.Eff is for Family and all the specials.Come back to the UK soon.
01:09:09Thanks and go fuck yourself.I'll definitely be back there.Thank you for your booze lineup.There was actually a couple interesting things in there.That's a Browka vodka.I never heard of that.But, you know, I'm going to do yoga and Pilates for the rest of my life.I'm going to age like sting.
01:09:27Granted, he started doing that shit in his 30s.All right.Number two.All right.Question number two or whatever the fuck I'm doing this week.A rhinestone ball bag, Billy.I love the podcast and love when you rip into the morons simply for being morons.Keep it up.
01:09:44That's why I trash myself so much.I wanted to throw down a booze lineup, but for hockey.All right, here we go.We're going for more booze lineup.I feel like this is getting old people.I'm going to read this last one.That's going to be it for the booze lineups.And every once in a while, we'll do it.
01:09:58We need some more overrated underrated.Center.The Cindy Crodby position.Miller genuine draft.Ah, I hate that beer.God bless you.somebody's got to drink it.You pay a little too much for him, but he's your franchise players, so you have no choice.
01:10:16Left wing is Wiser's black label, smooth dangles, and sets everyone else up.Right wing is Santiago, 16-year Cuban run rum.Foreign player, other teams are afraid to sign that plays his ass off every night,but takes some stupid penalties.D-Man number one, Jack Daniels, safe, gritty, defensive-minded,and you didn't break the cap, hit.for him. D-Man 2, Coreslight, never misses a game,
01:10:44jumps up in the zone, but on the wrongend of the odd man rushes too often.Goley is Crown Royal,hometown boy that gives you65 starts a season andalways gives you a chance. Bartnik would lovethat lineup. I don't know about Miller, Genuine draft,but he'd love that you finish with Crown Royal.
01:11:00Thanks and go fuck yourself.All right.Now we're onto some fucking questions here.All right.How the fuck are we?Bill.What is this?
01:11:15This is more fucking football.I can't do this.There's too many booze list here.This is going to get boring because it requires me to really read out loud, which I'm not good at.All right.Fingerprinting students.What in the fuck is happening to this world?Hey, Billy Bo Baggins.
01:11:32I'll try to keep this short.I just started college.And in the dining halls, they now only use fingerprint scanners to let you in.cooking is not allowed in the dorm so if you want to eat you have to give them your fingerprintsi'm not one of those i got chips slash free t-shirt people but what else can i do your thoughtswould be appreciated thanks and go fuck yourself well millennials i think it's time you guysfucking rebel you got to rebel against something hereor go to subway
01:12:06why do they need your fucking fingerprints and what are they going to do with them even if they're notgoing to do anything with them they're going to hack into your system somebody's going to hack intothe system that's so fucking nuts that is legit i honestly have to look up like howhow are how do people justify taking your fucking fingerprints to give you a fucking slice of pizzaHow do colleges justify taking students' fingerprints?I love how the mainstream fucking pussy-ass fucking corporate media never talks about this shit.They just sell people out.They're just such, all these fucking idiots screaming about Trump and Hillary.
01:12:57And this is what they're doing to citizens of this fucking country.It's fucking unbelievable.Can I refuse to have my child fingerprinted at school, background of fingerprinting?I got to, I almost lied to you guys.I got to read up on this, like I'm actually going to do this.Should schools fingerprint your kids?Isn't that, what is this for?Let me guess.
01:13:24It's for our own protection.All they do is make gift bags for people that know how to go on the internet and steal shit.Here it is.Here's the fucking Social Security number with the fingerprints, the home address, all the relatives, all in a nice, neat little fucking bag.I can't fucking believe that this, these fucking jerkoffs, these fucking jerkoffs.Anybody watches Fox and CNN as a fucking jerk off?When was the last time they held the feet of the fucking cunts that are doing all of this shit in the fire?When the fuck are they ever done that?
01:14:02Have they ever really gone off for pharmaceutical companies for starting a heroin epidemic?Have they ever really gone after Monsanto for fucking with the food supply?Have they ever really gone after bankers for what the fuck they were allowed to get away with 10 fucking years ago?Jesus fucking Christ.You do one off-color fucking joke.They cover that more than these fucking insurance companies are probably going to fuck everybody over.Ah, now I'm upset.You know what I would do?
01:14:32do, sir, I wouldsomehow go out of my own pocketand I would fucking eat down the streetfor fucking cheapthe best I could.That's why you can still bring snacks.You can't cook.You can still have a fridge, right?
01:14:47I'd eat a bowl of cereal.I would eat a fucking bowl of cereal three timesa fucking day before I'd give thosefucking cunts, your goddamn fingerprints.First of all, all you're going to do is come out ofcollege. You're going to beall these student loans.And what sort of job is he going to be there?
01:15:03You got to give me your fingerprints to?Fuck these people.Fuck them.You know, I don't know.You're not even allowed to fucking protest anymore.You'd have to go to a certain section.You'd have to get a fucking permit to protest.Dude, I guarantee you.
01:15:23I guarantee you the reason why they're taking your fingerprintsis an added revenue stream.And they're going, you know, they're going to fucking sell them.to somebody else.All of those fucking people that take your fuckinginformation, oh, we're not getting, it's safeand secure. It isn't safe and secure.What they've done now is they've
01:15:41made it a lot easier for these people that goin and steal shit,rather than having tobreak into you personally, they just break intoa company and they get like a few, whatever,a couple thousand peoplea whack.And then what kills me is after these
01:15:58cunts, take your information, their systemgets hacked into and you can you sue them for putting your shit up there it's it'sfucking unreal anyways i just recently had you know a tv network that i worked for sent me afucking letter she'd go in there and go read it and say uh you know unfortunately someone brokeinto our system and uh a lot of personal information was it might have been exposedso all they're required to do after it's like why did you keep all that informationwe need to go back to paper and file cabinets people i'm telling you make these fucking piecesof shit put on little cat burglar outfits have the flashlight in their mouth as they try to pick
01:16:42the lock to go in um sorry i really just lost my shit there but i feel like my i know even thoughi didn't have all the information i needed to make a logical argument i feel like i am righti'm sniffing around something there all right alcoholics anonymousHey, Bill, I was in AA for roughly two years.If you're thinking about attending, I would suggest you visit a library and get the AA big book.Sometimes they have a copy available.I would read it.Okay, now you just asked me to do two things that are really difficult for me.
01:17:14One, going to a library, and two, finding a book, and then actually three, reading it.What else you want to do?Dunk a basketball.You're really getting outside the realm of what I'm not.I do here. Then I would also read the orange papers, an online website which attempts to debunkthe AA philosophy. Attend a few meetings and get a feel for it. But honestly, I don't thinkyou're an alcoholic from listening to your podcast. I just think you're a pisshead.You can put a cork in the bottle. I hear you sometimes beating yourself up when you've had
01:17:47three large pores. Oh, Jesus, relax. That's not alcoholism. I love this guy. Sure, you're probablynot a good drinker but it's all on a spectrum and you seem to be doing fine when you startdrinking cleaning gel mixed with fruit juice because it has alcohol in it then we can talki've heard it all in a and and you don't qualify for the club in my humble opinion take it easyyou bald fuck all right well thank you for the kind word sir um no but it's also it's not good for youI can tell you it's not, the level that I was drinking was not good for you.But I also don't think AA's bad.If it works for you, then I think it's good.
01:18:29If it doesn't work for you, I don't think you then have to go out and debunk it.What kind of a cunt does that?Like alcoholic anonymous has helped so many fucking people.Let me look at the orange papers.Who fucks the asshole?Everybody just always has to rain on somebody's parade.Orange papers here.I just realized somebody might be fucking riding out this hurricane down in Florida
01:18:53listening to this podcast if you still have power, if you get a generator.I just said rain on your fucking parade.Sorry.What are the orange papers?Orange papers, I spelled orange wrong.I put two ends in there.I don't know why.I said O-R-N-A-N-G.
01:19:10Orange papers A-A.Here we go.Orange papers.recovering from recovery anti-A-A-A sites such as orange papersall right now this is just going to be another website that just hijacked the wholefucking thing so I can't get to it where are the originalorange papers original originaloriginal please please can I get the original
01:19:37I can't find itI cannot fucking find it.What the fuck?Come on, man.All right, I just clicked on this page, and I see a picture of a monkey.Leaving AA, staying sober.All right, here we go.For the suffering, alcoholic, and those unhappy in AA.
01:20:01All right, let's see what they bitch about here.For the suffering alcoholic and those unhappy in AA,Alcoholics Anomis has over 2 million participants globally.That's it?It is a friendly and welcoming organization with many,carrying helpful members.A.A. offers companionship, blah, blah, blah, blah.If you think you have a drinking problem and haven't tried A.A., stop reading this essay and go to a meeting.
01:20:26However, a growing number of options are slowly...I don't want to fucking read all of this shit.All right, I'll take your word for it, evidently.Look at Eli stepping up in the pocket.What's the score here?16 to 37 minutes to goDid he just throw a pick?
01:20:52Who knows?All right.Wife working out with X.Oh, Jesus.Fucking Christ.If I saw that at the beginningof a fucking porno,I'd be like, oh my God.
01:21:04Can we come up with a fucking lesscliched scenario?Okay.Hey there, Billy Redsack.Love your podcast.Love F is for family.Can't wait for season three.I wanted your advice on something.
01:21:21Here's the story.I got married about a year ago and me and my lovely wife moved to L.A.right after the wedding because she had a great job opportunity.She had lived in L.A. a few years ago prior to meeting me.And when she was living here, she had a fling with some dushy private fitness trainer.Both of them viewed marriage as a stupid concept.and they made a pact that when they'll get married to other people,they'd meet up and fuck.
01:21:48I don't believe a fucking word of this.I don't believe a fucking word of this.This is too stupid.They made a pack when they'll get married to other people,they'd meet up and fuck.I mean, that definitely sounds like an L.A. conversation in a gym.I'll continue reading.So as soon as she changed her relationship status to married on Facebook, that guy sent her a bunch of messages, which was sexual and pretty much offered to take her up on the agreement.
01:22:25And fuck, she didn't respond, but she did tell me about it, but I didn't lose my shit and remained calm.In the last few weeks, she told me she's looking for a way to get in shape, and she said that the douche had offered her private wife.workout sessions in exchange for her help in his business.She's an accountant.She said that because private workout sessions are expensive and he's very good at what hedoes, this is a great opportunity that would save us some money.She said she made it clear to him that she's happily married and nothing is going to happenand he understood completely.
01:23:06She asked me if it bothers me and I not wanting to look like the insecure.jealous type oh my god you fucking dude i'm telling you these fucking women are in guys headsall of this bullshit that you've seen on fucking tv all of these fucking women fucking playingthe victim all the time all of this fucking coverage of just what guys do to women has nowevery fucking guy has his balls in his fucking back pocket and it's just like well i don'tbe the guy that fucking makes you uncomfortable okay would she fucking tolerate this from youyou? You don't want to look in. That's not being insecure, sir. That's common fucking sense.So he said, honestly, honey, I trust you. I want what's best for you. And tried actually to do that.
01:23:58My question is, do you think she's trustworthy? Possible, but that guy isn't. And that guy's justdrawn her in because he wants to fuck her. She does have a history. She does have a history.of cheating on her exes but so do i we've both been happily married and our sex life is greatbut still the doubt and insecurity about that issue this issue exists love to hear you take on thiscan't wait for the new hour special thanks and go fuck yourself buddy buddy yet no no nono fucking way no fucking way work some extra hours you know i would actually be willing to believethat she's going over there thinking she's not going to do anything.But that guy's going to seduce her.
01:24:45That's what's going to happen.They already banged.They're already, you know, physically like, you know, the boundaries are not going to be there.And I'm telling you that that's not a good situation.And you're not insecure at all.You know?And so what if you are?That's a legitimate.
01:25:10That's a legitimate feeling.That whole fucking thing.That's like those stupid fucking t-shirts.I saw this some woman was wearing this fucking t-shirt.I told you about that.When I was back in the summertime, it said something like,a real man is excited by a strong woman.A boy is like, whatever, intimidated or something like that.
01:25:28It's just some, you know, go, oh, I want to be, I want to be considered a strong man.I want a cookie.I was reading that Rolling Stone where they had the actress that was playing.and played Wonder Woman.And I was all excited to read the article.And the first quote that they had, they said,are you a feminist? She goes, yes,I'm a feminist. Everyone should be
01:25:50a feminist, because if you're not a feminist,then you're a sexist, right?And I, like, bursted out laughand thinking, like, well,it all depends on what you're definition is.That's what's funny about these Hollywoodpeople out here. I swear to God, they soundjust like the Fox News, right people.
01:26:08They're the exact, you know,And there is zero tolerance.You think the way I do, if you do not, then you are this.Like, there's no clear-cut definition of feminism any more than there is of, like, what makes, like, you know, that's real rock music.And then somebody's always like, that's not rock.This is rock.That's bullshit.It's the same thing with, like, feminine.
01:26:33Like, if everyone was a feminist the way my wife is, which, you know, in all fairness, this actress,that played Wonder Woman, could be.I don't fucking know, but just to say,like that is just such a, I mean, granted,it's a fucking interview.They're trying to get peoplefucking worked up to read the fucking thing.Maybe it was taken out of context.
01:26:54Maybe she said other shit.But just the way that's presented,you know, Rolling Stone is just fucking insufferable,though.It's just fucking insufferable.The way they handled Obama with, like, kid gloves.And if you're fucking Republican,they stick your head in the fire.
01:27:08Now, I'm not saying they shouldn't stick these Republicans' head in the fire.I mean, they're the fucking, you know, they're bought and paid for at that level, right?Am I nuts?And I also thought Obama was, too, judging by the $69 million worth of tour dates he has coming up,giving speeches to all these fucking rich people.Guy just bought a $10 million fucking house.It's fucking unreal.And they don't say shit.
01:27:35All they do is show him playing high-lying fucking,going kayaking and parasailing.Like, isn't he cool?I can't believe how cool he is.Anyways.By the way, Rolling Stone,is Trump the worst president ever?I haven't noticed.
01:27:51It's not like you haven't fucking written it.It's just like, I don't even read the fucking article.It's like, I understood your point of view,the first 90 articles.There's so much other shit you could be writing about.You know what I mean?Good fucking Lord.Like, my, why can't you?
01:28:07you make fun of like extreme liberals every once in a while throw me a fucking curb ball something ahjesus christ i fucking need to go buy some fucking tampons here um sorry you know what when i happenyou know what the funny stopped was the fingerprinting of these fucking poor kids these poor kids aregoing to college they're getting in all in fucking debt all right and these colleges are actinglike they've adapted to how quickly the real world is changing and i don't think they are andthat's why these kids are coming out it's like they're coming out with degrees and likeLike, fucking, I don't know what, fucking churning butter, essentially.And then they can't find a fucking job.
01:28:46You know?I don't know.I remember, like, always reading up about all these fucking amazing musicians.They would go to Berkeley.And they would never, like, the guys that went out and seemed the guys that went outand did shit, they never finished.Like, they were like, this whole being here, I got what I needed.Now I got to get the fuck out of here.
01:29:05And I'm not saying drop out of collegeBut I really feel likeIf that voice is screaming in your headAnd you fucking have some good ideasWhy take on the last year of debtThe last, you know why?Because your parents want you toI don't know
01:29:24What? Because Bill Gates dropped outIf you drop out, I'm just sayingYou knowWhat the fuck I ended up doing?I didn't need to go to collegeYou had all those fuckingAll that student loanAll that debt
01:29:34and I leftand I immediately went down to a comedy cluband started doing shit jokes.Anyways, we got to end on something positive here.Please go to that Stephen Adler, Ronnie James thing.I'm going to post that.The Bowl for Ronnie.Ronnie James.
01:29:59What a fucking voice.I want a great guy too, man.I never met the guy.But all his interviews, he couldn't have been more down to earth.Once again, it's going to be at PINS, P-I-N-Z Bowling Center,1-2-6-5-V-Ventura Boulevard.It's going to be a bunch of rock stars there,a bunch of comedians, all bowling, raising money for,
01:30:17I don't even know what the, what is the cause here?I know Ronnie died of cancer, so I imagine it's that, right?Oh, Ronnie James Dio, stand up and shout.Cancer fun.There you go.Stand up and shout, right?So there's something positive for youAnd I believe it's October 6th
01:30:37All rightI will be tweeting that outAnd I am trying to get backonto InstagramI haven't posted on InstagramAnd foreverI think I have to create an entirely new accountBecause I keep saying
01:30:48I forgot my passwordPlease email it to meAnd they haven't been ableOr I haven't been ableI can't find the fucking thingSo that's itThat's the podcast for this weekCongratulations to everybody
01:30:59One week oneCongratulations to all football fansthat is football seasonmy favorite fucking thinghappened this weekendby the waywhen I was in the Alabama theaterthere was this fucking guy
01:31:11in the front rowand he had his middle agedude he had his cell phone onthis middle age guyand I'm like dudeare you recording the showyou recording the showand he kind of was like
01:31:19no he goeshe goes I'm looking at the scoresbecause it was Saturday nighthe wanted to seehow the other SEC teams were doingand I go well what'swhat are you watchinghe was watching the Georgia game
01:31:29I go with your Alabamawhat the fuck do you give a shitabout Georgia?you for he goes they're in the SECI go they're not going to catch youthey got that decent quarterback though I don't knowand the crowd kind of diesdown and this guy in the back goes
01:31:41he says to the guy with the phone he just goesexcuse me sir sirhe goes uh what do he sayoh fuck I'm gonna butcher the jokeAuburn Clemsonwhoever the fuck Auburn was playingit was like I wasn't even there anymorehe just asked for a score
01:31:57oh godwhat a fucking great setup it would have been such akiller story if I could have fucking remembered.Auburn score. What have we got here?That's right. They played Clemson.Yeah, he goes, excuse me, sir, Auburn Clemson?That's all he had to say. The guy's just right on his phone looking to give him thefucking score. I don't know. It's a great fucking place. Don't sleep on the south,
01:32:25all right? If you really think about it, your state's just as racist. Okay? That's it. Go fuckyourselves. I don't know what else to tell you. I'll check in on you on Thursday. I hope,you know, my help is a little damage in Florida as humanly possible, and that's all you canfucking hope for. And, you know, all you guys making fun of people driving electric cars, I don'tknow now, you know, what the fuck? I drive gas combustion cars, so I'm not fucking looking down onyou, but, you know, I don't know what the battery does in the end when you drive the Tesla intothe fucking ocean. Can you recycle the battery? I have not.no idea, but I'll tell you what that guy's doing over there, that Tesla company. I like it.
01:33:05I like it. I just wish the car could look a little more meaner. It looks great from the back,looks great from the side, the front. I don't know what it is. Just can't quite get into it,but I know it's a fucking amazing car, but the SUV's fucking cool, huh? The Lamborghini doors opening up.Plus, it's also a great way to win the war in the Middle East, you know?drive an electric car you ride a bicycle anything you do to use less fucking fossil fuelsfucks those people over over there and they don't have money to funnel through the maststo give to the terrorists and there you go and then all of a suddenold jimmy crack corn's out of fireworks right oh i just solved the middle eastern problem
01:33:47or the middle east problem not middle eastern i don't have problems with middle eastern peopleand this is why i don't hold office all right go fuck yourselves peopleI'll talk to you on Thursday.What's up, everybody, and welcome back to the Anything of Better podcast,really the best sports, best NFL podcast out there with me, Paul Versey, Bill Burr.We got Jake the Snake with the injury report, as always, coming in clearer than ever, ladies.So you're going to like that.And of course, Andrew Themless out there, the Beverly Hills kid.
01:34:20Guys, what can I say for two weeks in a row, Bill?I mean, two years in a row.two years in a row week one oh and four i mean guys just don't listen to me till week two or three i meanit is bad no no mid october paul mid october mid october you start turning it aroundjeez well i'm oh billy wins some lose some i went oh three and one i thought i was going to gooh and four of watching that bill's ravens game oh dude what a game you got it the last second you gotthat that was great uh yeah i mean i got me i got meI fucking hate games like that.
01:34:57Those are the games for the youth.40, totally, 40.Like, there was no fucking team.Like, the second half, they go,this is the first time the bills haven't scored.Or like that Kansas City game,the Kansas City game Thursday night against the Chargers,it was like, we've had seven possessions and seven scores.
01:35:16It's like, yeah, there's no defense.Dude, how good is Lamar Jackson, dude?Yeah, he's, he's amazing.Dude, how about Travis, what's his face?Henry.What is that saying the right name?Derek, Henry.Travis, Paul, I got two kids under 10.
01:35:35I'm hanging in there by my fucking fingernails.No, I said I mess up.I mess up his last name.That one-handed catch by that other guy, fucking wide receiver.Not they do doing this.The other guy.Dude, by the way, could he have done this any fucking longer?And then they still lose the game.
01:35:54I just I don't understandGame isn't overGame is not over dudeI saw up until the fourth quarterlast time I saw it was like 40 to 25and then I went on stageso I still have to watch the fourth quarterwhere I heard
01:36:11Derek Henry fumbledand then they just came backI mean listen I love the billsI mean I look like half of them at this pointyou knowThe bills.They're literally...Hello!
01:36:33Did I get kicked off?No, you're there.Am I still here?Okay.All right.You just froze for a second.Well, no aluminum siding?Make your fucking house to showcase of your neighborhood.
01:36:48Dude, speaking of that, I got them here now.They're all renovating my house.I don't have my own house right now.they're putting new bathrooms in i got a guy over here stacy dude i just wake up to people drillingin my house that's why i'm outside got to get an office it's yeah it's and you know somethey don't care they don't care you think she cares what they're not gonna something's going onwith that fee here dude you keep freezing on me i do yeah though maybe i am i don't knowaccuse of anything. No, I feel like, I feel like everything was going good, but dude, can I tell you
01:37:29something? My, my, Paul, you can tell me anything you want. My wife does not care that we haveworkers coming in and like, I need to know the schedule. She's just like, this is what it is.And I'm just like, all right, well, fuck me. I'll go fuck myself then. Okay. Just tell me.In defense of your wife, Paul. Are you really going to make that schedule?ow she knows she knows she has to just pick up the ball and run it over the goal line they knowi do the same thing with my wife i mean my gonna be included and then when she goes to sit downto tell me the schedule can i talk to you for a second i'm like i'm trying to watch the game you knowand then and then like a day late i'm like well what all these guys doing in here it's like
01:38:18i will i will give that i create all my own problems in the relationshipwhen it comes to that.And women,women are planners,Paul.They got a whole fucking game plan.Women are like Bill Walsh.They got all their plays called for the first half.
01:38:33Yeah.As you and I come walking out on the field,that's kind of sunny out, huh?Maybe I just go throw the ball.Dude,speaking of going back to football,did you see J.J. McCarthy?Shout out to J.J. McCarthy,
01:38:51the new quarterback for the Minnesota Vikings.did what you said was the kiss of death as a rookie in his first NFL game ever throws a pick sixto division rival bears it's looking bad and then dude the kid got it together and came backand won the game which is a really good sign for a young quarterback so the Vikings may haveyeah when i was a kid paul when i was a kid if you threw a pick six you had like an 80%chance of losing a game not anymore game is never over noit's become baseball yes until you get that final out it's it's like it's purely for entertainmentpurposes and if you love offense they have a league for you i uh i miss it paul i miss the hitting
01:39:42i miss the dominating defenses and i just uh you know i i i just i i don't you know all rightit's mad it's mad i don't i don't like shit offall over the league. All right. I do this every fucking year.Let's just know. Top, Bill, top threedefenses you've ever seen in your lifetime.Top three in your lifetime.Oh, obviously the 85 bears,the fucking
01:40:07doomsday defense, the steel curtain. I saw some goodones. I would say, dude,your fucking defense2007 when you beat the Patriots,that front four dude that you hadthat were just, you know, making Bradymove all day.I mean, all of this fucking bullshit, too, about Eli beat Tom Brady.
01:40:28Did he?Eli did?Fucking helmet catch.Come on.He made a couple of good throws in there.But come on, dude.Your fucking defense.Defensive line.
01:40:38At least in 2007, dude, that fucking front four, you basically had like supersizedlinebackers.Yeah.I felt like, look, I would never call anybody Reggie White other than Reggie White,but it was like you had Reggie White's four illegitimate children.I mean, they were all like super strong with like linebacker speed.That was a great defense.I would say the first three Super Bowls, the Patriots won,
01:41:15where when we would win games like 19 to 17, 17, 17, 10, Teddy Bruske,Brable, all of those guys.William McGinnis, Ty law, lawyer Malloy, all of those, those guys are great.Those Raider defense, that Raider defense that destroyed the, the fucking Redskins,who are their safeties, were Mike Haynes and, oh, Jesus, dude, you're just going way back.I would say those 49er defenses that, the ones that, what about the years when, like, Dionne was going back and forth fromCowboys to the 49ers.I mean, nobody was beating those defenses, dude.
01:41:56Oh, dude, they were incredible.Jake the Snake just came in and said the 2000 Ravens only allowed nine points per game.Oh, Ed Reed.Ray Lewis.Oh, my apologies.Jake, the snake comes.Yeah, dude.But if you notice, Paul, it's all 2007 and before.
01:42:16Seattle had a good one there for a minute.You know, they had a good one.They had a good defense there.I mean, listen, there was a lot of people doing Royce, whatever.Seattle had a good, that was a good defense, too.I don't know, you know, I don't know.The 49ers had a good defense against the fucking chiefs.They were just getting that this isn't a hold on the final drive.
01:42:42So I don't know.Yeah.And, dude, John L.John L.A., what's his name?Lawrence Taylor, I believe 86.I believe the 86 Giants with Lawrence Taylor and Carl Banks had a really good one, too.I would say those guys were pretty good.Harry Carson.
01:42:57Do you know what, Paul?I bet today's defenses are just as good as the other.It's just there's so many rule changes.They've gotten better, I feel like, with past interference, which I'm really happy for,that they let some, you know, some of that stuff go.They're much, I feel like they've gotten a lot better with that.I still, you know, two things in sports I'll never know is, is that a balk or is that a football move?I mean, you catch the ball, you turn and you get hit.
01:43:33They're like, did he move his other foot?I don't know.He caught the ball.If my son did that, I would be applauding.It's not, you don't catch me.You have to catch the ball and do three other things after you catch it to make it a catch.to catch the ball, run five yards, and stiff arm, and then they'll review it.Yeah, so I don't know, I don't know what it is.
01:43:57But I would actually, you know, I think that Eagles defense last year was great.But I feel like the rule changes, they don't allow a defense now to be as dominant.I mean, they used to be, you know, you know, when we were coming up, you know, up until like the 2000s,maybe up until, like, say, that Seattle defense, where it was.It's just really like, we're not going to score more than 12 points, 14th.They just shut you down.They haven't let up a touchdown in the first half.Remember those kinds of defenses?
01:44:30All year.Like, I just, I mean, like I said, I'm also a curmudgeon.I'm sure, like some young kids right now is saying, I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about.And I probably don't.Well, dude, the Ravens giving up nine points per game in the 2000.They beat the Giants at year in the Super Bowl.But the Ravens giving up nine points per game in 2000 is pretty as dominant as could be.I mean, that's unheard of.
01:44:54That's unheard of.Yeah.Yeah.Ray Lewis, dude.That was, that was prime.They had two of the best guys ever at a position on two out of their three levels.And then they had that lunatic.The guy who painted all, all this stuff on his face.
01:45:08So they had like, they had three major.There was no, where are you going to go in that, that whole defensive zone where you're not going to run into a future fucking.Hall of Famer.That's one of the best to ever play the position.That's a great call to Regis.Dude, when we were in Vegas for the Super Bowland we were in that cigar loungeand I saw Ed Reed sitting over a table
01:45:31from a smoking a cigar, I was literally like,dude, that's arguably one of the greatest safetiesto ever live. It was nuts.Yeah. No, that's happened to me a couple of times.One time I was in a cigar barand James lights out Tony.Oh, yeah.He was in the Kornelma, you know.
01:45:51And he was the Philly Shell, right?What do they call it?The Shell, he used to do that shit.Dude, all they do is amazing.They lean back like this, and your punch goes off of their shoulder,off their shoulder and misses your head.But my shit is like, doesn't your shoulder hurt after a while?That's still a professional boxer slugging you in the shoulder repeatedly.
01:46:11Anybody who had an older brother, when you watch the Philly Shell,you're kind of like, I did see hair of a box.boxer the way he beat it was he just beat the shit out of the guy's arms turned him intolike fucking noodles it's a great strategy dude it's a great strategy that's one of myfavorite my favorite things in uh in uh sports is those boxers that you can't hit it's just it ismind boggling that you can be that fast that a professional boxer like standardright here in front of you just going off and you're doing all of this stuff it's just likehow yeah they said like when floyd mayweather would do that shoulder thing somebody had the
01:46:59greatest comparison they go it was like mariano's cutter you knew that that's what they weregoing to do but you just couldn't for some reason it worked it just worked um dude you see thatufc guy the guy kicked his leg they're sitting there like this and the guy kicks his legand it was like a slap and it just gets red and welted and he starts limping and then he switches upand the guy did the same thing to his other leg and he's literally like hobbling and then justwent down and he tried getting up and the guy goes done he couldn't he he didn't touch him up herehe just basically broke down from the knees down that's the only thing that makes sense to me inthe UFC dude if you kicked me like the fact that they can have a professional fighter
01:47:41kick him right in this like the charlie horse yeah yeahAnd they just take it like, dude, I would be like,ha, that would be six months.How you do?I'm just getting back on my feet.I'm just, and they'll take like fucking 15 of those per round.Uh, yeah.I don't like, those guys, those UFC fighters, boxers, professional athletes,
01:48:04the level of pain.Oh, dude, Alex Pereira.Yeah, Alex, the heavyweight guy, Alex Pereira, the guy who had,he was joking around in a gym with this, with a,The woman in the UFC that does the announcing.So she got in gear.And she's like, come on.She goes, just give me like a little kick to the cap.
01:48:22And he's like, no, no, I don't.And she goes, no, like, light.No, no.She goes like, and dude, he did it.And she just goes, ow.Like he didn't.I mean, he barely grazed her.Like it was like, he didn't even touch her.
01:48:34And she was just like, oh, okay.She's still feeling it.Okay.Yeah.She's still wearing her flats.She can't go back to the pumps yet.All right.Are you going to watch Canella?
01:48:44Canela Alvarezthis weekend?I watched, I'm really,I got to be honest.Can I be honest?I'm rooting for Crawford, man.I'm rooting for Crawford.I watch the countdown to it.
01:48:54That guy's upbringing, you know,and I love,don't get me wrong.Canelo earned it,but you know,Canelo's on a quad in his houseand he's like got the glasses and he's just,and this guy is like,
01:49:03I got to get my due.I feel, you know,but I'm going to watch it.I got to show,but I'm going to watch it after.All right.Before we bring him,all right,
01:49:11we've avoided talking about what we got destroyedon last week for long.Dude, I, and just, all right, I'm just going to, I'm going to confess my sins.I was like Kansas City, didn't win that one.I tied with the Bills and the Ravens.I was like, you know, I'm digging the dolphins.They're going to come out against the cults wrong about that.And I think I blocked out the last one.
01:49:35So I don't know.Well, Jake the Snake, let's let Jake the Snake come in and give us any kind of injuries beforewe make our picks.Jake, do you got, what do you got any?Any juice for us, Jakey?Hey, how are you doing?Mostly just the 49ers.George Kittles is going to be out for a long time.
01:49:52They put them on the IR and Brock Party is going to be out as well.So Saints, you know, are really bad team.But Mac Jones will be starting for the Niners is kind of like the biggest.Hey, and by the way, I don't mean to cut you off, Jake.But for all our listeners, we talked about it.You guys design it.We want an official, Bill, me and Themis, we're talking about this.I don't think we told you, but I know you're down.
01:50:12We want somebody to design a Jake the Snake t-shirt.We want Jake's face on it.We want Jake's face on it.It's got to say Jake the Snake, if we have fans to design it, we will get it made.But we have to get a Jake the Snake anything better t-shirt.We have to do it.The fact that Jake the Snake is not up in one of those NFL boosts with what the headsets on,talking to somebody down the field.
01:50:37I mean, that's what we had to give him the franchise tag to keep them on the podcast.the man knows the gamehe's got a TV outsidehe's been watching game film all weekhe's got some color on his faceI'm telling youhe said he sawwe put our money where our mouth is
01:51:01and that this franchise believes in himand now he's bringing it he's fuckingwhat I love is that he got the haircutand the tan and he goes we're startingthe season right and he got three winsAnd he starts three and one.Three and one, yeah.Well, you guys got screwed on that Denver game.
01:51:18I mean, Mike, what was that?For those that don't know.Well, we're the pretty face.He's the brains.All right.So, Jake, all we got to worry about Brock Purdy out, but they're playing the Saints.So that's it, right?Yeah, pretty much.
01:51:34Everyone seems relatively healthy right now.At least those are, like, the major injuries, you know, for like the stars.But, yeah, those are something to think about.for sure um there was something i wanted to ask guys about the bills game actually i don't know if yousaw this but the bills cut the lead to or they were they cut the lead to seven and then they kickedso they had made the extra point and they were but there was a penalty so it moved him up to theone yard line so they decided to go for two and didn't get it and this is the middle of the thirdquarter so they were just chasing those points the entire game they went for two more times
01:52:05didn't get it they were down to um what should have been the tie so i don't know what do you guysthink of that philosophy to go for two.I saw a lot of teams this week go for two and not get it for a lot of times.Like I saw a lot of missed two-point conversion.You know me, dude.I say take the point.Until you mathematically have to go for two, in my opinion, I think you got to kick the extrapoint.
01:52:27That's just I've always felt that way.My opinion is it takes you three to four downs to catch it, you know, get a touchdown,to score a touchdown.You go for a two-point conversion.You have to score another touchdown.you have one try at it for some reason because it's only two points people they they get this in their head like it's this foregone conclusion and i don't know i i i get going for a two point conversion later in the game the shit doing it in the first half i think you just get as many easy points as you can i like the direction there look at it many easy points as you can and then in the end if you're in a situationlooking at the clock, how many more possessions you're going to get, then you do it.But like this whole fucking World Series of poker, he's going all in.
01:53:18Here comes to river.Seven minutes into the game is stupid.And I'll tell you one of the times they went for two, they were down nine.So they went for two down nine.They didn't get it.So you're down two scores instead of one.I just couldn't believe it.No.
01:53:32Bill's 100%.Yeah, because if you get the extra point there, then you could be down by eight and then touchdown.And maybe then you go for two.yeah they got lucky therewhy dig a holewhy dig a hole nowgood pointPaul why dig a hole ever
01:53:46why dig a hole everI mean life is hard enough as it isI mean what do we dig in holes forput the shovel away that's what I saywhat do you think is the first fucking hole I dugall right guys before we doour picks we got to shout out our sponsor guysit is bed MGM you know that
01:54:02here's how it works with us we have a first betoffer for everybody you download the bet MGM appto your device and you use ourcode. B-U-R-R-B-U-R-R. Very simple. You sign up, you deposit at least $10 in yourBetM-G-M-G-Sportsbook account. Place your first wager and receive up to $1,500 back in bonusbets if the bet loses. If the bet does lose, your bonus bets will be available once yourinitial wager is settled. Check the fine print for any kind of time limits on that. Butyeah, you're not getting cash. You're just getting bonus bets. And also, we have a first
01:54:33touchdown. So, for example, if you like Derek Henry to score the first touchdown, what you dois you put that player, you bet the player to do that straight up scoring the first touchdown ofthe game. If your player scores a first touchdown, win your wager as normal. If the playerscores the second touchdown, you'll get your stake back in cash. Only straight bets applyto the second chance. Any wager using a bonus bet, bonus or other reward token isineligible for the campaign. So there you go, guys. It is my Bill Wendt, Bill Wend,I went first last week because he goes first on even years.So it was my pick.
01:55:12Even weeks.It is my, yeah, even weeks, you know what I mean.And it is my pick.And guys, I'm O in four.What do you want from me?You know, I got to get back on a horse.Here we go.All right, for my first pick, and I'll be on.
01:55:26I got to get out from under the horse.All right.Yeah, but dude, I actually, and I don't mean this selfishly,in a weird way, I was, if you went O and four and I went O'N four,it made history for the show because we've never done that before and then when you caught the halfa game at the end I was like all right you know what at least at least we didn't go 0 and 8 um all right guysmy first pick you know I was going to actually because I want to get off the schneide is that the rightword I wanted to get a win early so I was going to go packers commanders tonight I just don't know dude
01:55:58that is that is a game where both teams to me are very similar um so I'm going to lay off that gamehere's what I'm going to doI'm going to takethe Cincinnati BengalsI don't love the half a pointbut I think that they clicked on a little bitat the end they ended up beatingthey ended up beating
01:56:17ClevelandI'm going to take the Cincinnati Bengalsthat all the Bengalsthe Bengals was an all groupgirl group in the 80syou always say I'm going to take the bangleswalk like and he JeffAnother man of Nick Monday
01:56:32I can't wait till SundayI'm taking the BengalsI love the BengalsMinusI'm going to take the Spice GirlsUhI got the Spice GirlsMinus 8 all right
01:56:50I'll takeYeah I'm going to take the Cincinnati BengalsUh minus three and a halfAt home against the Jacksonville JaguarsAll right PaulThere's a game that I love, but it's your Giants, so I'm not going to,Giants plus five and a half.Bill, I'm not touching it.
01:57:10I'm not touching it, so you can.I'm not touching it.Let me think about that.There's so many other games I could pick wrong before I go to pick that one.All right.You know, it's a weird game.That charges Raiders game.Both coming off wins.
01:57:29both alwaysfuck their fansI'm going to stay awayone of them's going to betwo and oh Paulwhen's the last timethe charges of the Raiderswere fucking two and oh
01:57:39that's crazyall rightI'm gonnahere we gohere we goIfuck yeahI'll leave you in one of these games
01:57:48I can'tI can'tI'mI'm gonna take the dolphinsI'm betting against my teamminus one and a halfbecause no matter whatI'm going to be happy
01:57:58either we get a fucking winI justI don't knowI watched this last weekI think we're going tohopefully go 500it already seems like under MikeVrable we're in a better direction
01:58:13or whateverdolphins are coming off a lossumwe're playing down in MiamiI mean those fucking guys beat us once a yearwhen we had Tom Brady so I just figurethey're going to get us againit's only a point and a half. Paul, I'll be honest
01:58:30with you, dude. I'm fucking, I'm swingingin the dark here. I'm going dolphins.Minus one and a half. What's their coach'sname? Mike what?Oh, um,oh my God. Mike Moriati?No, it's Mike McDaniel.Mike McDaniel. I think Mike McDaniel's
01:58:47I think he's gonna, he's gonna,I don't know, he's been with that team long.We're still getting used to him.So. All right, dude, I'm scared.I'm scared.dude i don't want to uh i'm going to do i'm going to take the detroit lions at home minus sixagainst the bears uh detroit's coming off a really bad loss and uh i think they got a you knowthey got to pull it out man they got to win a game at home and i think if there's still the
01:59:16detroit lions they should win that game the bears aren't showing didn't show great you know theylet the the vikings come back on them i'm going to take detroit by less than a touchdown or a touchdownif you want to call it that.All right.I like that.I'm going to take,it's just too many goddamn points.I'm just going to take the Browns
01:59:36because they're getting almost 12 fucking pointsand this is the NFL and they're in the same division.And they scored 40 points against the bills.Severe's going to be like, oh, my God,they're going to fucking trounce the Browns.And for some stupid reason, the Browns are going to cover.That's the only reason why I'm doing it, Paul.That's a great pick.
01:59:54That's a lot of points, dude.All right.All right.What are the most lopsided victories of history.Boy, the Ravens really figured something out.45.I think they were really upset with themselves last week.And they came out, and they wanted to make a statement.
02:00:14Nothing is worse than when a game is out of hand.Bill Burr has his head between his knees crying.Isn't it the worst when it's over?Dude, I remember.No, you know what the worst is?betting on the Kansas City Chiefs and they lose.And I got to watch their tippy toe dinking, dunking down the fucking field and they still don't win.That's the worst.
02:00:35I might take them.But, dude, I remember two years ago, Ari Shafir goes, hey, you want to come with me and Renazizi to Giants opener against the Cowboys?I'm like, yeah, yes.And like Renazizi, I was like, dude, I'm going to get a grill.I go to Dick Sporting because I got a grill.Renazizi's like, I'm bringing a tent.We just got everyone had a list.We get there five hours around.
02:00:56We have the greatest time in this parking lot for five hours, dude.It was 31 to nothing cowboys by the second quarter.It ended up being 41 to nothing.It was over.Oh, my God.Dude, it was like when we went to TCU, Georgia.It was, or was it TCU?It was just.
02:01:16No, it couldn't have been like that.It couldn't have been like that because we were also getting rained on.In a fucking stadium that sort of has a roof.but not on the sides.It actually was drizzling.It was right.It was sideways.Yeah.
02:01:33And their entire like our backside was soaked.You know what it is?It's one of those things where it happens so quick.You're delusional.You're like, all right.This first quarter, dude.First quarter.You get two touchdowns right back.
02:01:43Right back.That's what we were doing at the champions.Scoring all their points early, Paul.You're going to come back.Dude, the defense figured something out.You know, when a good stop.Now they figured it out.They figured it out.
02:01:55Here we go.Here we go.Here we go.Three and out.Fuck.I'm going to take the Pittsburgh Steelers and Aaron Rogers' first game in Pittsburghagainst the Seahawks to win by a field goal.They're feeling good after the Jets game and their home.
02:02:15I think the crowd's going to be into seeing Aaron Rogers.Seahawks got Sam Darnold.I'll take the better quarterback and the better coach.I'm taking Seattle.I mean, Pittsburgh.against Seattle minus three.All right.I'm going to take the commanders tonight,
02:02:31getting three points against the Packers.Just because I like this game,and I also like the commanders, man.I like the direction that they're going in.They're a fun team,and I'm really happy for Washington Commander fans.They've been suffering a long time.I don't think, you know, I don't know.
02:02:52I know the Packers are stacked.but they're in they're in lambo once again it doesn't make any sense you figure the packerswill easily cover it and uh yeah i mean i'm gonna go with the commanders paul i don't i don'teven have a logical reason i just want to watch the game tonight i'm giving myself a reason to watchby the way do oh fuck is this going to be one of those amazon ones and i got to fuckinggo through 52 portholes to turn them when i was a kid you just turned on the game and they didn't playThursday.They, no, the commanders are really good.
02:03:27Dude, by the way, our show, let's be fair, Bill.Let's be fair here on anything better.Our show has pointed out some favoritism towards the chiefs.I got to be honest with you, every minute of football I watched last week,I didn't see a tic-tack bullshit call.I thought the game against the Ravens and Bills, they let them play, only calling blatant stuff.So so far, it's only one week, so far so good.Well, you can thank all those people on the internet that were calling them out for it.
02:03:52Yeah.I think that's what happened in the Super Bowl.They got Taylor Swift there.They got all the eyeballs.They called off the dogs.They let them play.I've said it a million times in this thing.You said it once and you'll say it again.
02:04:04But you've got to be careful, though, with the Chiefs, Paul.Okay?Because you've got to understand, like, you know,they're still the pretty girl at the prom as far as the AFC,as far as money.All right?I don't think that the NFL is a brand believes in Lamar Jacksonor Josh Allen yet.
02:04:24They're bridesmaids.All right?I just don't think that, you know,it's a lot with Travis Kelsey and,and, uh, Taylor Dane or whatever the fuck, right?There's just a lot going on there.There's a lot of eyeballs.It's a lot of money, Paul.
02:04:41That's a lot of money.You know, it's a lot of money.Yeah.Yeah, I'll be honest with you.When I looked at this list, the first,game that stuck out at me and oh it gave me to willies was the chiefs getting one at homeagainst the eagles and then scared paul oh and four paul said don't do that play it safe but you wantto know what i'm the one who takes the book i'm the one who's taking the book okay good i don't
02:05:13like owen four paul i like this paul oh and four paul scared throwing checkdownsOh, and four, Paul stays in his house.Jake it off, Paul, sits in his backyard, so his neighbors hears his, here's his fucking picks.Yeah.Owen, four, Paul, gets a deep call and goes, no, coach, why do that?Just, let's just dunk it down.Let's get some yards.But four and old Paul goes, we're going deep.
02:05:43Owen, Paul says, I have to get up early tomorrow.I shouldn't drink this.Oh, that's great.But the ball I know, I'm fine.I'll be fine.Look, if the Chiefs go 0-2, here's the thing.The Chiefs might be going down, Bill.The era might be ending.
02:06:04And if the error is ending,they're going to lose this game to the teamthat humiliated them in the Super Bowlat home in week two.I'm going to do it.You don't like it, do you?Oof, you just gave me the...I just call it to business.
02:06:17If the Chiefs' error isover what are they got you saw them trying to sell josh allen last night i'm literally looking aton the raven's game they're showing me josh allen's wedding photosit's like what the fuck do i give a shit about his wedding for they really did show the vows doingyeah trying that that to me was the nod they they're testing going like okay have we ridden thishorse too far it's a business paul they're in sports gambling now we're in they are a gamblingsports book sports league you think if okay bill if pat mahomes is a horse are they taking themin the backyard with the rifle i would have to see the analytics on how football fans reacted to
02:07:02josh allen's wedding photos during the bill's raven's game to see if they are ready to walkaway from travis kelsey and uh and fucking madonna what a lady gaga i justI just picture of fat-bearded football fan.I just picture a fat-bearded football fan holding a beer going,it's a beautiful picture, I was a nice wedding. It's a nice outfit.You know, I was going to root against the bills tonight.But when I see, when I know the quarterback of the other team has truly found love, you know,it's really hard for me.
02:07:40You know, Paul, some things are bigger than the game.You know, you can only guess what their first song was, you know.All right.Hey, if you're a single quarterback, will they show you with two strippersgiving you a fucking lap dance?Will they show that fucking picture?You just see Lamar Jackson throwing stickers?They said they shut down all the Hooters, but he found one more.
02:08:05Independently owned in Akron, Ohio.Oh, oh.All right.Hold on.Let me just see if this is...Shout out to Josh Allen, getting married.I mean, just as a football fan, I'm so glad that they should.shared that with me.
02:08:19Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.All right, Paul, who do you got?You're going to bet on a K-pop band here,or are we going to be going to say a football team this time?I'm going to do the Chiefs getting one at home.If they go 0 and 2, they're in big trouble, I think.Yeah, I like that pick just for the, you know,I'm Billy Conspiracy.
02:08:47um billy conspiracy is that my third yeah i keep going back to that charges raiders gameand i just go back to who's the better quarterback you know i don't like that half a point pauli hate the half a point it'll get you every time i don't like my hairline you know there's a lotof things. I don't like this.Steelers at home, minus three. I don't like that one. Paul, I'm just swinging in the darkhere. I'm just betting on games I want to watch. The bills and the Jets. Oh, six and a halfpoints. The Jets were competitive last week. At the beginning, you said you like the Giants game.I didn't touch it. My four picks are in.
02:09:38Paul, I'm an AFC guy.I don't know what to tell you.You are.You are a FC guy.Um, uh, I'm going to go.JETS, JETS, Jets, JETS, Jets, getting six and a half at home, division rivalry.Everything tells me to take those points, six and a half at home, at home.Bill's coming back from a wild...
02:10:10I'm going to take the Jets.Ooh, I like it.This is how much confidence I have in that.That's what makes this show so fun.When you take the Jets and the points, that's the meme.That's great.Somebody's got to make that meme.By the way, I feel like I'm going to watch a fun game.
02:10:33I love the Bills.They're just a fun team to watch.I love watching the Ravens.I like watching the Eagles.Those are all fun.You know, there's a lot of fun teams out there.Dude, how are me and you friends?Me and you are opposite in every...
02:10:45You're AFC.I'm NFC.You're Boston.I'm New York.Your light skin.I'm a little darker.The overlap is we're both degenerates.Yeah.
02:10:56Paul, we don't read.We put way too much importance on sports.Like, we talk about sports the way people talk about politics.we've had discussions on sports that you would think was like we were solving the world's problemno if you like graph the audio and you had to guess is this two people talking about the gaza stripor are these two guys talking about the tuck rule you we've had discussions about quarterbacks onthe phone like they're in the war room in the pentagon one of the loudest i yelled in a decade was we wereabout middleweight boxing champions in the 1980s.
02:11:40Oh, God.Yep, I remember.Are you going to watch Canello Crawford this Saturday night?Yeah.Two of the last Mohegans, dude.Those are two of the last great boxers.And then boxing.Hey, then it's rough for boxing.
02:11:55After that, boxing might be...Well, what about the locks stock and four smoking barrels?That fucking guy.Tyson, what's his face?Isn't he?He's good for the sport, right?Well, dude, he's...Are you talking about Tyson Fury?
02:12:08Yeah, I know he lost, but is he...No, but I think he's old, though, dude.Like, I don't think there's like a...Like, Canelo and this guy were the last guys that, like, nobody could beat and good.I don't know.I mean, I'm sure there's some young guns coming up, but, like, you know.And they hired your boy there.Boxing hired your boy there to save it.
02:12:25Your boy, Dana White over there.He's kind of the new boxing.That's not a conflict of interest?Like, the UFC destroyed boxing.No, dude.on if you watch a countdown to canelo crawford dana white is a big part of it and he goes he goesI grew up loving boxing more than anything and he goes and it just went horrible he's likeI think Dana I think he did box I think he boxed yeah what happened was was uh you know a couple
02:12:51of those promoters and then the independent things and it just it got all fucked up and then youhad like there was like five middleweight champions the three of them then you had to tryto unify the title yeah and then they created like 50different divisions so everybody had a title so everything was like a title fight and then a title fight wasn't a title fight was a big deal and then the best guy yeah and then the best guy didn't have to fight the next best contender in boxing which the UFC you have to or you lose it you'll lose the belt if you don't where in boxing they could be like nah he's on steroids but he doesn't want to lose you know shit like that well i'll be honest i think you know if you're gonna bring it back likethat's Dana White's the guy to do it.That's like right in his wheelhouse.And it's also great if you get a guy that knows how to run that stuffand he also has a passion and he loves boxing.
02:13:48I mean, it would be, I mean, boxing before Don Kingand all of those guys fucked it up, it was like some of the fighters out thereand some of the fights that you saw were just incredible.It's been too long.It's been, yeah, Mickey Ward.and Gotti Arturo Gotti rest his soul those fights were great like i'm going back to john the beastmugabe Alexis arguably uh willio caesar shavez like those dude even oscar delahoya like when he was a kidlike when he was like 21 22 like those guys were dude manny packeye i'm michael non michael dokes
02:14:25remember uh pernell whittaker sweet pee rest of soul yeah dude um Floyd mayweather junior and manny packialfought nine years later than their prime it's like a guy like dana white doesn't allow that so i likethat he's coming in there um all right well we got a monday night special right what are we gotand rangers oh oh bill uh raiders coming off a win going home their fans are excitedtom brady's what are the raiders do what do the raiders do consistentconsistently when their fans get excited.I mean, I don't know, put on a Darth Vader helmet.No, they fuck their fans.
02:15:14Both of these teams fuck their fans consistently.Oh, we got two.Hold on.We got breaking news here.Jake the Snake coming in saying we got two Monday night games.We got the Bucks with Baker Mayfield playing the Texans with a lower line.and then we got the another rivalry with the chargers and raiders to by the way i gotta behonest to you the buccaneers and the texans like that's like they play in the dmz of football for me
02:15:43i don't know anything about the nmc south i don't know what's going on down therethey got your boy baker do you know what i know about the the houston texanspaul wall is from houston paul wall megan the stallion umI'm going to tell you whatYou called it last yearYou were rightWe both called itBut we know
02:16:07Jim Harbaugh in his second yearHe got a big winAgainst the ChiefsJustin Herbert looked amazingYou know you know I loveJustin HerbertI meanYou know
02:16:17I can stay healthy PaulI like the ChargersI do take the ChargersMoney LineWe own the RaidersOhI got me a legLook at Jake the snake
02:16:28Come inWhoa whoaWhat are you doingWhat he's going to do?Look at it.He shoots him in a foot.He tells him to go fuck yourself.Good on you.
02:16:37Good on you, Jake.Don't take no shit off nobody.All right.Tom Brady,you're going to take that?What's the world coming to?He's not playing.I was fucking joking with you.
02:16:49I was fucking joking with you.How do I know you're joking?What are you maniac?You're going to go pick against the guy?What are you some kind of thing?Maniac?But it's a health maniac.All right.
02:17:03Jake the snake just made the pick of the game.We're going to take the Chargers money line.The three and a half is a little scary.I understand.Do we have to join?Yeah.Wait a minute.Wait a minute. Are we dogs?
02:17:17No, Chargers are favored.No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.That charges are favorite.We'll take the money line.Take Herbert to throw one.Yep.So there's two.How about this?
02:17:28if we do, can we just do, is this possible to do Chargers money line, Herbert to throw two?And we leave it at that?It's not bad.Or is that too much?Could go Bowers over receiving yards.He's incredible.So, I mean, it's not a bad one for the.Jake, it's your team.
02:17:46It's your team.And listen, this is your second year.You're not a rookie anymore.You get a say in this.That's right.Well, I mean, if you want to throw in something from the bucks, Texans, you could do that as well.But, I mean, or just keep it to one game, whatever you guys are feeling, because it is yourmoney night special. And by the way, you forgot to mention the last week's
02:18:02money special hit. So congrats all. That's okay. Dude, we're one for one. That's right.So we might not want to get. Paul, something had to hit for us last week. I was just going to say,I was just going to say, we didn't have a win in the winning column, but we got. Oh, 7 and 1,but we won you motherfucking some money on Monday. We lost our shirts. All right. Well, we hit theMonday night special. I like Herbert to throw one, charges to win the game outright.And then, and then, does anybody have a picture of anybody's girlfriend or wife that's playing quarterback that night so I can help make my decision?Well, Justin Herbert is dating somebody new.So that's maybe I got a couple more calls on Friday.
02:18:43I'm joking.I don't give a shit.I don't care what they're doing.It's none of my business.But they aren't trying to promote it like that.Hey, Bill, maybe Justin Herbert's the new Mahomes.Maybe that's the guy.He's got the new girl.
02:18:55He's got the coach in Harbaugh.Maybe that's where the tide.ships start seeing the charges get those calls by the officials um who's the who's the who's the jakewho's the last pick here because i got to get on with my day yeah yeah who's the last uh who's therunning back jake uh both teams have rookie running backs i'm not too too familiar with both um butthe raiders have a great tight end uh maybe we could take him over uh receiving yards or somethingwhat's what's his total Andrew there it is uh actually it's not on thereI don't know why they're not showing them.
02:19:32What did you took it off?What about the first thing you said, Bowers?You want to just do Bowers?Yeah, yeah, that's what I was looking for.It's not showing it on the screen.But whatever that number is.All right, so now let's just do this.Let's just do, you want to do Bowers or Herbert to throw two?
02:19:49You know what, let's keep her herbert to throw two.You know what?If Herbert throws two, it's better odds.So we're going to do the charges to win Justin Herbert to throw two touchdown.Hey, listen, we're 1 and 0 on the Monday night special.There you go.All right.There you guys have it.
02:20:02Andrew.I like that.That was outside Paul Verzi.That wasn't O and 4 Verzi.Okay.All right.You know better than me because I'm still on,I'm still shaky.
02:20:11No, no, no.I liked it.I liked it.You got your swaggerback.I like it.Yeah, he said,don't mess around with the Rangers.Just stick with the charge.
02:20:19I have, I have Cincinnati, Detroit, Pittsburgh,and Kansas City.And Bill, you have.The Jets?I got the Jets.I got the dolphins.I got the Browns.I got problems, Paul.
02:20:37And who else did I take?There was another.Commanders.I got the commanders.Oh, okay.Got two AFC, two NFC tonight.There you go, guys.That is our show for week two.
02:20:50Hopefully we do better for you this week than we did last week.But even if we don't settle down.It's early.There you go.Use our code for the,offer that we have. It is a B-U-R-R-R-B-R-B-R. You deposit $10 in and you'll get $1,500 in bonusbets if the bet loses. If the bet does lose, it kicks in after your initial wager and the firsttouchdown offer. You choose a player to get the first touchdown of a game and you win. If that
02:21:17player doesn't get the first touchdown but gets the second, you'll get your cash, you'll getyour stack back. As we always say, have fun with this, bet responsibly, enjoy your footballSunday and let's see if anything better can turn this puppy around we will see you next weekMonday night special chargers Justin Herbert to throw two see you guys next week
There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click any sentence in the transcript to leave one.