Monday Morning Podcast - Disney, Hockey, Flying | Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 2-26-26

Episode Date: February 26, 2026

Bill rambles about being a Disney dad, hockey, and flying. Helix: A study they ran found that 82% of those involved saw an increase in their deep sleep cycle while sleeping on a Helix mattress.  Go to http://www.helixsleep.com/BURR for  27% Off Sitewide. Truewerk:  Don't let cheap gear slow you down this winter. Upgrade your day with workwear built like it matters.   Get 15% off your first order at http://www.TRUEWERK.com/BURR (00:00) - Thursday Afternoon Podcast (34:09) - Thursday Afternoon Throwback 2-26-18 - Bill rambles about the Bruins, inspirational speakers, and guns. Thursday Afternoon Interlude:  Mitch Murder - Breaking Waves

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr, and it's time for the Thursday afternoon just before Friday, Monday morning podcast. What's going on? How are you? How's it going, dude? Oh, I'm sitting here on my L-shaped couch. NHL's back watching Jack Hughes with the golden goal playing back with the devils and the fucking Buffalo Sabers. Um, anyway, what a week. What a week. As I mentioned before, we took the kids out to go see the monster trucks and then we went to Disneyland. Had a great time. Guess what? I finally met Goofy. I finally got a picture with them. 40 years. Took me 40 years. You know? It's like John Elway winning the Super Bowl the last two years. Get this shit kicked out of you. So that was cool. And I got to tell you, California Adventure Park, I don't know, I kind of give it the nod over Disneyland. Why is that, Bill? I'll tell you why. I've watched that Lightning McQueen in all versions of it, all, what is there, two or three of them. I've watched the to-mator, you know, when he tells the crazy stories. I have watched all of them with my son. like a thousand times each. And then you go to that California Adventure Park

and they recreate. It's like you walk into the movie. You're walking down Main Street where Lightman Queen has already paved it. All right? They got Luigi, you know, the tire shop. They got the lowrider guys. They got George Carlin and the military dude.

They got Paul Newman's car. They even got the, the, the status. that he ruins in the beginning. They got the, they have the ride with, like, the tractors that tip over, like, the kind of got the whole thing. And you just walk down the street. And then they have the radiator Springs racers.

And I got in it with my son. And when we were flying around the track, I was looking at him. He was grinning ear to ear. He's such a happy kid. And I just looked at it. I was like, I'm never going to forget this. It was just, it was just seared in my brain. I was like, this is insane.

I feel like I'm inside the movie that we were watching. And, of course, he said something adorable when he got off. He said, that ride scared my tummy. It was awesome. And then, you know, my daughter's getting older, too, just watching her interacting with the park, even more different than she did a few months ago. So, yeah, I'm like a fucking Disney dad.

I don't know what happened, but I love the place. And I had a great time. We even hung out for like the parade and I got to watch the lovely Nia. What did she freak out about? Little mermaid came by and all of a sudden she became like, you know, eight, nine years old again and she was like waving to the people on the float. It was fucking hilarious. I will say this.

I saw this ice cream sandwich earlier in the day that this person was eating. And I don't even know how to describe the level of white that the ice cream filling was. And I looked at that and I was like, is all chemicals. I don't know what is in that, but there's no milk, there's no eggs. Oh, we got a Doughty Brook here. Five-16 to go in the second period. The guys dropped the gloves. What's the guy's name? Zucker, took a few, swung, missed, fell down. I don't like this thing with, like, hockey now, like whoever falls down is the guy, the other guy won the fight. I mean, you're fighting on skates. Somebody's going to fall down. If you get punched and then you fall down,

And I think that that's what it is, right? I don't know. I don't know. Anyway, the fuck was I talk about this fucking ice cream sandwich. And I'm looking at it. I go, that looks like that kind of ice cream. Like, you ever see when they put Oreos in the microwave? Someone will do it on the internet and they just, they can't,

it doesn't melt, whatever the fuck that is. As we're 25 years into fighting a war on terrorism, we allow a U.S. company to feed this to its own. own citizens. Okay. So I looked at it and I go, I was just looking at these people going like, I can't fucking believe they're eating that shit. So I go with the turkey leg and I'm eating the turkey leg and I'm having a good time. But then I get filled up with all that sodium. And lo and behold, I end up being hungry at the end of the night and the parade's happening. And everybody I'm with is getting ice cream sandwiches. And I said, all right, I'll get an ice cream sandwich. And I, I don't,

I can't believe I ate that. thing. Like, I've been eating like an idiot the last couple weeks, but today I went to the gym and I got back on it, but I will tell you, whatever was in that ice cream sandwich is going to be in my body for the rest of my life. And when my body decomposes, all the Oreo cookies and that ice cream sandwich is going to be what's left. It's just, like, how much money do you have to make that you start feeding people poison? And then as always, they'll put it on you. Well, you need to, like, be conscious of what you're putting in your body. How can I do that when I have to work all these hours just to fucking keep my head above water?

Well, you know, you got to figure it out. You got to make healthy choices. You got to make healthy choices. It's like, well, why isn't the food healthy? Why is it on me to try? I'm not a chemist. I don't know what's in this shit. It says ice cream sandwich.

It shouldn't be allowed to be called an ice cream sandwich if 90% of it is not. ice cream. How about a chemical, frozen chemical sandwich? Anyway, so I've been on the internet a little bit lately and I came across this thing. I've, I've seen a couple. Oh, God, I love Lindy Ruff. What a fucking gem that guy is. Total hockey guy. Lindy on the road, Ruff at home. It's one of my favorite stories ever. Anyway, so I see this fucking, I've seen this one before. It's this 9-11 in conspiracy. And the whole thing is animated, right? So evidently, according to the conspiracy theory, the guy that owned World Trade Center one and two bought them not realizing that they were full of asbestos, or maybe he was the original owner. And then he didn't want to pay for the asbestos removal.

So he's trying to figure out how to get out from underneath, I guess, all of this. With all of those floors being rented, somehow he didn't have enough money to take the asbestos out. Of course, he wasn't even remotely concerned with the poor people that were working in there in asbestos. This is just a theory, by the way, and it's animated. So then somebody goes, well, why don't you get terrorist insurance? And he goes, well, what are you talking about? They go, you get terrorist insurance. And then we'll call the White House and just say, how about we pull these bills?

buildings, you say terrorists do it. And then you can just have a war on terror and it could be wherever and you can have false flag wars anytime you want. And they're like, well, that sounds like a good deal. And then everybody in the comments are like, this, this is what the fuck happened. And I'm watching this thing. And these guys concoct this plan on the phone and then call the White House on the, like, this is how it went down. No one was privy to this conversation. And now you're animating it, this alleged conversation. And then what? They called up, hey, White House, can I help you?

How may I direct your call? Yeah, false flag wars. Hang on a second. Hello, false flag wars. Yeah, hi. You ever been to New York City? You know, World War? The whole fucking thing.

And not one person in the comments is going like, hey, you know, I don't, like, whatever your theory is, there's no way this was discussed on the phone. I don't know. Or maybe it is. Who knows? With these fucking Epstein files and shit, were these people really this dumb? They didn't even speak in code. They just fucking said all of this shit via email. By the way, the latest narcissist watched. So the fucking, the U.S. men's team goes to the White House. And the White House suspends false flag calls from guys who own skyscrapers in New York City every day. I haven't seen the animated version yet.

So they go there and this is like just classic. This is not political at all. I'm just observing narcissist behavior. The narcissist is seated. All the other, the heroes are all standing there with their medals. They have the attention. They have the shiny thing. So the narcissist says, oh, that's.

I want one of those. Can I try that on? So then the dude gives it to him, and then he makes the joke, I'm not giving it back, and then proceeds to leave it on while they take the picture. And one of the hockey players who earned the fucking thing is standing there in the picture with the president not wearing his medal. The president is wearing it. In that 15 seconds, you just saw that guy's life story.

Hey, that guy has that thing. I want that thing. Let me get in business. Yeah, yeah, it's going to be a great thing. Hey, by the way, you're not getting this back. Take the picture. I did it. The internet's a fucked up place, man.

I saw a woman trashing the women's hockey team trying to make it out like they couldn't handle that white men achieve something. It's like, oh, here's a breakaway. Here's a fucking breakaway. He shoots and it's a save. You were trying to say. say that the reason why the women's team didn't go is because they couldn't handle that white

men achieve something and they whatever the fuck it was. It's like, no, they're not going because the person they're going to meet says that he walks around and grabs women by their pussies. He also has an incredible amount of accusations out there of sexual assault and his name is all over the Epstein Island files. That would make a group of women not want to be around you. This has nothing to do with politics. Politics. It has nothing to do with politics. It's just women not wanting to be around a creep. But this is what kills me about Bill Clinton. If he was there, they would have showed up because somehow women find him charismatic with his big fucking chit-thives. I don't know what it is. I have no fucking idea. I've never understood that,

you know. But I don't know. To see a woman do that, man, it's just like, once again, I'm telling you, this is why it's up to men to support women's sports. Because they just, I don't know what it is. They just fucking go, especially with sports. There's something about sports. They just won't give it up. I want to say that's the second time in a row, the women's, U.S. women's has won the gold. They're on a run here. I don't know. What are you going to do? Anyway, hey, what are you going to do? That's what I say. You know what I say? You go out, you'd be a good person. That's what I say. You try to be a good person. That's what you do. You try to do the best you can. And then just, you know, watch out for, you know, people that fall into the dark triad personality makeup.

Maybe not vote for one of them. it still wouldn't matter. It still wouldn't matter. I told you guys my my water supply fucking theory that every business passed a certain level there's no good people left because you get to a certain level in all business where you're asked to pour something in the water supply that isn't good for the people. This is a metaphor, right? And all the decent people go, no, I'm not doing that. I couldn't do that. I couldn't live with myself if I did that. and then there's the other people, oh, fuck it, I'll do it.

And then that's what happens. And I think that that's what you're left with, you know, in government. When you see all these people, you know, jumping around saying freedom fries and nobody's like looking at themselves going, is it me or is this not the stupidest piece of propaganda I've ever seen in my life?

They're not French fries anymore. They're freedom fries. And they're all sitting there. there smiling like they just made a great joke. The whole thing. And everyone is just completely devoid of any sort of like human emotion.

Maybe I watched that animated thing one too many times. I have no idea. Anyway, oh, so Billy, oh, Billy got back on the elliptical today, like the fucking soccer mom he's looking at, looking like right now. I didn't let it get really out of control. I just put like another five, six

back on the last couple weeks. I don't want to happen. It was a birthday cake was laying around and I fucking, I lit up the crack pipe and I had a piece of cake and then I just fucking, I went off the rails there. So now, now I'm back. I'm back off the sugar and, you know, so whatever. I had a nice easy day. Did a little stretching. I got on the elliptical. I looked at the weights and I was like, I'm going to talk to you tomorrow. And I am, God damn. And I'm going to go over there tomorrow. And, oh, Billy Lightweights. That's what I do. I get the get in shape girl things because I'm done hurting myself working out. I somehow got tennis elbow. I think I got it from fucking playing drums.

Trying to play James Gadsden's 16th notes, you know, single-handed. My technique evidently wasn't good. And now I got this shit, you know. tennis elbow. I don't play tennis. You know? It's like the beginning of a sci-fi movie. You know, or somehow the woman's impregnated and what comes out of her is not a human.

And she's looking at her husband going, but I never fucked a Martian. And he's looking at you. They're like, sure you didn't. You know, the same way Joseph looked at Mary, right? That's what happened in my elbow. The same thing that happened in that poor woman's womb happened to my right elbow. You have tennis elbow. but I never play tennis.

Of course you don't miss the bar. You fucking whore. Anyway, so hockey's back. I can't wait for the Bruins, man. I fucking missed them when they were gone. Such a fun goddamn team to watch. And I'm hoping some of the guys got,

obviously got to heal up, take a nice rest. It was a few guys that I noticed their game wasn't quite as physical or whatever. As the season goes on, you see him. you know, I saw Nikita that Ranger game where he fell and his leg went underneath him. It's a weird way.

He missed like a game or two. And then when he came back, he could see like he was working his way through it. Dude, hockey players are just... Hockey players, professional fighters, like the football players, the stuff that these guys go through is insane. And I'm going to add this, that monster truck thing,

talking to that driver afterward. And like, dude, he sounded like, like I said, like a retired NFL. running back. And I don't know. The old me would have just watched those trucks, you know, flying through the air and I never would have thought about it.

But as the older you get, like, you ever see like your kids just jumping up and down and you just make that wincing face? Like, how is that not killing your back or your knees right now? You know, when you say, I'm like, didn't that hurt? And they're like, no. You'd be careful, man.

Your knees and your back, they've got to last your lifetime. They're just looking at you like, The fuck are you talking about? Dude, look at Doug Flutie. Still in playing shape. That guy looks like he could still get it to Gerard Phelan. I bet he could.

I bet Doug Flutie can still throw at 50 yards if you let him warm up. He threw it 60 when he was like 22. I bet however old he is now, he's a few years older than me. He's probably like 60, 61. I bet that guy can still throw it fucking 50 yards. And I bet he can still throw it. throw it on a rope, 40. Look at me talking shit about his abilities.

Where can you throw it, Bill? I think the longest I ever threw a ball was about fucking 38 yards. I don't even know if I could ever even throw it 40. You sit up in the stand, you're like, dude, I could fucking do that. Then you get down there like, this is a fucking hurl. You know? Well, you go to Fenway Park. You know, dude, I can hit one over.

You know what? I get warning track. That's the humble thing you say in the stands. you know there's a few people though you know that could do it i'll tell you could do it was fucking tom selick tom selick did it tiger stadium came in star of magnum p i and he got up to the plate and he fucking he hit it left-handed i think left-handed hitter and he hit it to the short porch out in right field and then you know what the cool thing was he just sort of nodded to the crowd he he He didn't act like it was a big deal.

And it's like, let me get this straight. You're a six foot five, Bert Reynolds, you drive a Ferrari, you're banging all these hot chicks in fucking Maui, and you can hit an MLB home run. Didn't you have the decency to be excited about it? Just was totally nodded like, hey, you know, like, you know, playing it off like you got lucky.

He's like, no, you didn't. No, you didn't. that's one of the ones God's going to be proud of. You know, when Tom Selleck passes or whatever, he's definitely going to gather the angels around. Look what I made. I did it again, right? Other people.

Other people he avoids. Some of these characters we get out there now, leading us into the oblivion. I think when they die, he'd be like, I had a bad day. You know, a guy like this, this is what I invented the day. devil for. I invented the devil so I'd have an out. So I can just, you know, when I fuck up at work, I could just say, oh, the devil, you know, the devil got in his head. Not me. All right. Anyway,

let's do a little promo here. The 13th annual Patrice O'Neill Comedy Benefit, Tuesday, April 28th at the New York City Center Theater in New York City. We have an incredible lineup. Adam Ray, Dave, Dave Atel, the King. The King, David Tell, Drew Dunn, Jordan Jensen, Matt Richards, fucking hilarious. I got to know him last year when I was doing Glenn Gary. A great guy and does one of the best Donald Trumps in the game. Zarnagargh, who I got to know. Where the hell did I meet?

I think I met her. Comics come home, hilarious. And myself, and as always, the great Rich Voss will be our MC, and we might even have a special guest drop in. In fact, I think I know we do at this point. Tickets go on sale right now. They can be purchased at Patrice comedy benefit live. Dot live, sorry. Patricecomedybenefit.

All the proceeds go to Patrice O'Neill's mom. That's it. We take care of her because he was taking care of her. And, you know, he died way too young. And his mom had a lot more life to live. So we've made sure that we picked up where he left off. And it's one of my favorite things to do. Shout out to Maureen Taron,

who's the end. engine behind the whole thing. She produces it every year. And, yeah, other than paying to rent out the fucking venue, all the money, everybody works for free. It's fantastic. It's a great thing. So come down and be a part of it. All right. With that, I got a couple of reads here. Oh, geez. Oh, jeez. Oh, jeez. Oh, freckles is going to read out loud here. All right, Hellix, everybody. Helix. How are you navigating the colder season and spending more time indoors? In your bedroom? Staying comfortable inside with your helix mattress. A good night's rest sets up you for a great day. Jesus Christ, is that the truth? I'll tell you right now, one of the smartest things I do,

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dot com. T-R-U-E-W-E-R-K-com. All right. And with that, and with that, I don't know what to tell you. Oh, Freckles, oh, I went up, but I flew the chopper today. At a really nice flight. I don't know. I just knew I was going to have a nice flight. It's funny, I went there, you know, and as I pull into the airport, I always look at the

flag. It's the first thing I do to see which way the winds are going. But plus, when I sit in traffic, I can see. which direction people are taken off from. And before I even get in the car, I, you know, I look at the Mita, and I look at the taff, I look at all the bullshit, I look at all of it, so I know what I'm getting into. I know where I'm leaving from.

I know where I'm going. Oh, Billy, nice day. I like to fly on nice days, all right? So all, like, it was skies clear, wind variable, right? And I'm looking at the Hollywood Hills or whatever. and they look all hazy from where I am, which is actually a good thing. That means there's not a lot of wind up there.

And all the fucking dust from the city and all of their shits just sitting there gets weird. Like the less visibility, the less windy it is. And on a really clear day, you know, before my pot's license, I'm like, oh, this is a great day to fly. You get up there and the wind is fucking whipping around. So this is a weird day. Like, you know, I can see the back of the Hollywood hills

you know and it's like I can see the shape of them so I'm like all right that's 10 plus visibility I like that it's hazy this is going to be nice the flag is fucking staring at the ground I listen to the aidas

it tells me what I think wins variable at 4 you know at fucking 170 so I'm like all right this is going to be great so I fucking do all my bullshit I take off

you know from a taxiway because of my helicopter and we're fucking cool. And right when I get into the crosswind, immediately, I just start getting bumped around and all of this. And I was like, I fucking knew it. I knew it. Because I was literally thinking, like, this happens a lot.

Like, on the ground, nothing's going on. And then you fucking get up there. And all of a sudden, like, the winds were like, you know, 15 knots. It was nothing crazy. But it was, like, coming from the right side or the left side. So it was sort of pushing me. little bit. And,

but it was still really hazy, which was weird. So I couldn't tell where it was coming from. Anyway, I ended up flying out to like Santa Paula. I like flying out that way. Had a nice soft landing there.

And then, you know, I flew back to Van Nuys. And, uh, just had a great fucking flight. And I was on my way back and one of the Red Bull guys pulled up along side of me in his helicopter. I was talking to him for like a fucking minute. And I've met a couple of those guys.

And this guy wants to take me up and do like a fucking 360 loop. And I'm sitting there like, dude, I got kids. I got a family. And I'm free on Friday. No, I didn't say that. I said I got to check with my wife to make sure that's all right. But I want to fucking do it. I have total fucking envy of people with like full-size helicopters

and like the amount of inertia their main rotor has as opposed to my little fucking egg beater. And but they're just like, that's a whole other ball game. That's where you got to be like Tom Cruise or speaker of the house to be able to afford a helicopter like that. It just is. It's just, it's an entire, like the jump. You know what I mean?

It's like going from a Prius to a Bugatti. And there's just, there's no middle ground. There's no fucking, I guess you can buy a fucking used one. You know, that's about ready to time out. And then you're going to have to pay for the fucking, whatever they call it. I almost said, remodel. How much do I own a house? The fucking, whatever, when they rebuild the whole thing.

And then like, well, they're discontinuing this. they don't support it anymore. And then you're sitting there and you got like this zillion dollar fucking paperweight. There's just no way into it. So what you got to do is you got to get to know people that have. You got to get a giant fucking hang. It's insane. It's insane.

Like when you go to an airport, there's like these little fucking like motorhome hangers with people with like Cessnas and little fucking Robinson's like me. And then there's just these giant, giant fucking hangers with like fucking G5s in a fleet of Ferraris it's just it's fucking it's it's completely like

whenever those hangars open up and you look in there like you feel like you're watching like the beginning of like a Jason Statham movie you know what I mean um it's just a whole other level so I think what I'm going to do I'm always like, I love my helicopter because it's like 60 bucks for an hour to fly it.

It's like a car. That's where you want to be. So what I like doing now is I just like taking my friends up and I just give them like a tour of L.A. And I fly over a bunch of cool shit. That's kind of like what I like to do. And I don't know. But anyways, I will tell you, though, that guy flying alongside me was kind of fucking hilarious. It was literally like a Ferrari

Driving behind a fucking Prius and not passing It was kind of fucking amazing But anyway, I had a great flight today And I had a great day Had a great kid day You know Played a bunch of baseball in the morning Dude I'm telling you my daughter

Holy shit She got a holder one the other day I was like That would legit Be shallow Maybe a little short of shallow Right field in a major league ballpark

she just like what I love is she's she's using her hips now she's taking some lessons and stuff and her bat's speed and she has this totally relaxed swing and uh

I don't know I'll tell you right now if I ever go to my daughter's baseball game and she gets a hold of one and fucking like any dad's out there you kid boy or girl ever hit a fire and home run like how do you how do you not just burst into tears it's amazing anyway i get it going here that's the podcast um thank you for listening enjoy the music picked out by the amazingly talented

andrew themless and um and we'll have a bonus episode of the thursday afternoon just before friday monday morning podcast to follow have a great weekend you cunts be nice to each other don't let these news networks divide you do not root against other states we are the United States, help out your fellow American, you know, don't listen to these sociopaths and don't listen to mouth-breathing morons. Anybody who has a message where they're trying to say us and them, anybody that's trying to separate people, it's ripping us apart. All right, we're human beings, we should be helping each other.

All right, that's it. I'm off my stump. Okay, go fuck yourself. Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Byrne. It's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday. February 26th, 2018, how's it going? How? Are you enjoying your February of 2018? Well, you should. Because you never know. You never know if there's going to be another February of 2018.

Nothing is promised. Just remember to look up with the clouds today and smile. Sorry. I'm threatening to get on Instagram once again. And I'm going to get on there. And I'm going to be become someone who's in the public eye that inspires you. So I just want to try out some of my inspiring words, you know. My wife, my laugh, she's on Instagram. And I always look at those things. It always cracks me up. People sit there. They act like they're trying to inspire you. And it's really just an excuse so they can take their shirt off and show you like how great a shape they're in. Always set goals beyond your own belief in yourself. Because even if you fall short, you're still in the money round. Whatever the fire can never finish them. You know what I mean? Then they're just sitting there with like fucking eight pack abs.

You know, but like with a hat on like a fucking knitted hat. It's like dude, I thought you're cold while you put a shirt on. All right. He starts off being cunty and it's only gonna get more country from there. So I was out in, I was out in Santa Monica and I was coming back. towards Hollywood, you know, to get my, my Botox injections. A lot of people don't know that about myself. That I'm actually, I've lied to you all of these years. I'm actually 63 years old. And I take a very high quality Botox injection every, every third day. Sort of like the patron silver of like Botox, you know.

I don't know shit about tequila. I'm sure somebody's going to say, actually, that's kind of a mid-range tequila. You want to have more than you're coffee. No one cares. No one cares about you and your fucking tequila connoisseurring. So anyway, so I'm driving into Hollywood, right? And I stop at a red light, and there's all these pro-second amendment people standing there, right?

With like megaphones and shit. And they just keep yelling on America. This is a very old. Right? Like literally. some of the dumbest fucking people I've ever seen in my life. And that, my friend, is what always... Now, now, if I was a moron, which I am,

I would look at those people and be like, yes, that's what people who defend the Second Amendment look like, rather than being like, no, people who fucking are going to stand at a fucking red light with a bullhorn. There's a certain level of intellect that that's going to have. And there it is. You know what I mean? it's kind of like when like the left goes out and they protest something like remember that i always

bring this chick up who fucking sat there when trump was getting uh sworn in and she was going like that fucking like what sort of balanced conversation could you have with the human being like that and it's just saying might these be lever i just it was fucking hilarious and then people were beeping at them yeah i don't know you can't tell when someone hits something horn, whether it's, they don't have like the, uh, the positive beeping. I guess that's like a peep. You can't tell if they were beeping like, yeah, keep yelling that shit that doesn't make any sense. I don't understand America, love it or leave it. So if you want to, uh, adjust anything, then you need to get the fuck out of here. Like, it's just like, I mean, that's what the flyers did

for the last fucking 40 years. And that's why they have yet to win another cup. Because whatever they did in 74 and 75, they continued to fucking do up until about maybe six or seven seasons ago. You know, oh, what's going to beat the shit out of people, right? That worked in 74 and 75. Before social media, before millennials were even born, you could do that. All right? And they didn't adjust. And look at them now. Cupless. They won a Stanley Cup since Gerald Ford was in office. And that's fucking unbelievable, right? Actually, it really isn't when you look at it. There is 30 teams. teams. If you win one once every 30 years, that's pretty much average. So they're a little behind. They're a little behind the curve. They need to stay after class, get a little extra help on how to

cycle it around. Yeah. And I love how they just, these fucking morons are going, love it or leave it. And what they're defending was an amendment to the Constitution, which is a change? Fucking unbelievable. And the look on their face, too. when they were pissing people off because like these fucking morons were actually looking at them getting mad. I actually rolled my window down because I wanted to call one of the guys fat.

I just looked at it like this is, this is going to be, how mad can I make this guy? It's so childish, but that's how I kind of looked at it. But they look on their faces of them just pissing people off. They had total joy on their faces.

So it's just like you're not making it any better. You're actually making it worse. I don't know. Why can't people just sit down and just be like, Like, you know, people that defend AR-15s can be like, look, man, I fucking love my gun. I fucking spoon with it.

I ain't ever shot myself in the face with it. And then the people on the left can be like, well, you know, we're not saying it all kinds of bad. We're just saying, excuse me, is that a butterfly? We're just saying that maybe it should be a little more difficult to get one of the Maybe that's what we need to do. Maybe that's a way that each side can hear each other. Each side performs as the stereotype.

Or wait, maybe you present your liberal opinion in your viewpoint of what you think the right sounds like. I'm going to raise my daughter gender neutral, right? and then they have to when they refute they have to be like you fucking liberal snowflake um anyways I've never gotten more goddamn

responses than when you start bringing up fucking guns um there's gotta be how can you do it like you know you got to let these fucking people still have their machine guns so they can get out there and them four wheelers or you know

who who Who knows? Who knows what's going to happen? I am curious to as far as, well, before I finish it, how do you figure out who's a fucking lunatic and who is it? You know what I mean? Because I haven't done any research on this, but I would be willing to bet that at least 98% of registered gun owners are fucking responsible, you know? They're out there shooting squirrels off their balconies, right? With that gun you can, you see at the end of Scarface or whatever the fuck it is. they're doing but who gives a shit that's all they doing just a fucking squirrel man's god damn cute rat as far as i'm concerned it's good aton no it's good eating it's like a gamey chicken with a little

bit of a captain crunching it um there's got to be a way to uh do you know you know i mean i don't think anybody who owns a gun thinks that some fucking lunatic should get a gun like that so why don't we just work on uh work on that How would you do that? How would you possibly fucking do that? I don't know. I actually got it into it. Somebody, you know, when they were trying to tell me that silencers were legal in New York.

And I'm like, dude, they're not. He's like, yes, they are. And I said, dude, I live there. They're not. And then he's like, immediately he goes, they are. You just have to register. So then I Google it. And it says that suppressors are legal in, like, some, like, 42 different states.

And one of the states they weren't legal in was New York. And then the guy gets, rather than being like, oh, okay, I'm wrong. He gets like fucking mad. And he goes, well, is that a new law? It's like, no. I don't know. I don't know when it came. Far as I know, whenever I fucking live there, you can't have a silencer in fucking New York City.

That basically means that I'm going to go assassinate somebody. It's not like we have a bunch of fucking coyotes and shit running around. Allgators and that top shit. Because in Florida, they were just like, well, you know, because we shot guns with silencers in Florida. They would just go, and we were laughing. And Verzi said, yeah, having a silencer in New York means I basically want to kill somebody, and I don't want anybody to hear it.

And they laughed. And down here, they were like, ah, that just down here, that just means there's an alligator on your yard. And you don't want to wake up your neighbor. You know? So it's like, oh, all right. I get it. Plus, my ears are junk. I think if I had a fucking gun, I would want to have a suppressor.

You know? I mean, that's got to be the, it's got to be the, it's got to be the, best if somebody breaks into your house. All right. And your gun is readily available and you have a suppressor on it, right? And you just fucking stand up and you jam jam, jam scratching your ass. And you just, I'll clean that up in the morning. You just go right back to bed, you know, and you just lay in there.

You know when you did something fucked up the night before? You know how you wake up where you don't just sort of gradually wake up? Your fucking eyes just come open. I just, I fucking shoot. I have to shoot somebody last night. Ah, God damn it, the blood's all dry on my floors, man. Anyways, I find the whole fucking thing fascinating. I also find it fascinating that, you know,

as much as I'm a believer that you shouldn't, the government shouldn't be the only one that has guns. It's like too much powers, considering what the fuck they're doing. I also don't, I think we're, as far as technology goes, an owner of media, I just don't think that a bunch of people with like guns in their houses is going to stop any sort of fucking, you know, if we went, I don't know how much crazy we could get in this country, but if we really went totally fucking crazy, I really don't think a bunch of armed citizens who are not organized or even remotely have the training or the weaponry of what, you know, the martial law, whatever the fuck would be enacted, would even be able to stop it, you know? And then the people that took over in power would also control the media. And then they would put out information to make those patriotic citizens look like they were fucking Nazis.

And the whole thing would fall apart. However, you know, for a lot of people, I think it would be a fun way to go out. You want my guns? Come and get them. Come get them. You want my soul cycle? I'm going to put it up on Craigslist next week. All right, let's get out of this fucking topic. We'll talk about it later.

I'm trying to be evened here, like sort of trashing both sides and seeing both sides. You know, this is my Instagram inspirational thing on gun control. I'm trying to see both sides of this. And in the end of this, I will take my shirt off. It's not even that people in the public eye do that. It's the people that follow them. I guess if they are inspiring them, I guess they are doing something, but it is just so clearly, it has nothing to do. Even if they inspire somebody, that's even more for that person that took their shirt off to fucking feed their ego.

Anyways. Or maybe I just never looked good with my shirt off in shape or out of shape because I was so pasty white. You know, I felt bad for fucking. There was a fellow celebrity of Redhead and he had his shirt off on a boat and everyone was, you know, He's in great shape, and that's all everybody talked about was how fucking white he was. You know? If Redheads ever had a bodybuilding contest, what it would basically, they would do it for the blind. Then the blind would just come up, like, touching their torso and be like, okay, this could be a little more defined.

You know, then we'd sit there with her angry, freckled fingers, you know, giving them the finger, maybe. I have no idea. All I know is that since I've become a dad, I've, I've, I've. I don't have time to fucking watch games the way I used to, especially like hockey and basketball, how many games there are and all that. Every time I fucking start to get

caught up on the Bruins, I look at my little thing and it says, you have five new games to watch. And I know they're playing great and they're making all these moves. I don't know if this trade went through, but we got fucking Rick Nash from the Rangers. And I was thinking, oh God,

like, who the fuck did we give up for this guy and we gave up a first round draft pick who the hell is it here and we gave up uh we gave up ryan spooner and matt boleski uh i don't know rick nashersers 33 i love ryan spooner um oh well what are you going to do what are you going to do but i i think who knows i like what sweeney's doing he's just like all right fuck it where we We're like right there. Let's push this over the top. It gives us a physical presence.

A guy that gives you 30 goals the season. I think the Bruins definitely got better. They're going to put them on the second line with David Cragey. Now you got Bergeron. You got Posternak. And you got, you got Marshawn in the first line. That gives us two really solid lines. And I haven't watched that many games this years.

But the games I've been watching are fourth lines. actually kind of contributes quite a bit. We're young, we're fast. Now we've got this guy, and he's a big presence out there. He doesn't really drop the gloves. But, I mean, that's been completely taken out of the game. By the way, people who always talk about how much they love Olympic hockey, and if they could just get the fighting out of the NHL,

that they would actually sit down and watch it. Well, all I want to say is fuck you, you lie in cunts, because you ruined the game that I loved. Because they've pretty much got fighting out of the game. certainly in the playoffs. You get in the playoffs, the goons are gone. The go home. The go home at night.

The go home at night. They go home during the fucking playoffs. Playoffs! They send them all home. And every year I get a little sad. You know, when I see that, and I think back to the 80s, when the fucking Bruins played the fucking Buffalo. Save us!

And it was standing room only. in the penalty box. It's like two guys sitting down, three people standing up behind them. Look like they were stuck in an elevator. Back then, that was called setting the tone. That's not what happens anymore, is it? All these people out there trying to take away my guns and my four whalers.

Sorry. All these people out there trying to take my gun and my four wheeler. You fucking liberal snowflake. why don't you just skip to some socialist country I'll ever tell you something there's no room for violence in hockey it just shows ignorance um

okay that's what I'm going to do from here on out whenever I present the liberal side I'm going to try to do I'm going to do a fucking I need another good liberal argument you know what I mean I don't know why the fuck we just don't switch over to solar power all these stupid fucking rednecks rolling coal they should have solar power

these fucking oil companies and corporations they don't want to do it America love it or leave it or adjust it you know as eight as everything does as everything in the world does as it moves forward it adjusts you know

as virus adjusts adjusts I should say, adjust, adjust. We're all using that hand sanitizer and all that shit. You know, what are the viruses doing? Well, I guess that's it for us. I guess we can't kill any more people. They're not.

They're hitting the gym. They're drinking that shit up, and they're getting even stronger. And there's going to be a fucking, look, look how strong the flu is. Look how many fucking kids died this shit. It's terrifying. Everything adjusts. All right, you can't adjust fucking, you know. Amendments are adjustments to the Constitution.

You dumb fucks over there. And I'm not saying, I'm not saying you shouldn't defend your guns. Oh, I'm going to be a liberal here. I'm not saying you shouldn't defend your guns. I'm just saying some adjustments maybe need to be made. You know, I don't remember. I almost said Tom Sawyer. I don't remember who's the guy who said the British are coming.

Paul Revere. I don't remember his kid going into a log cabin, you know, shooting it. up with a musket. All right. What do we got here? Hand sanitizer. Super virus. Super, super, super, super. Do you guys remember super fuzz? And when that came out to your cable station, I have the worst fucking goddamn internet. He has the worst fucking internet in the world. Okay, factor fiction. Can hand sanitizer use create a super bug?

Hand sanitizer dispensers are mounted everywhere in office buildings, restaurants, schools, and hospitals in case you didn't know what everywhere meant. We can carry bottles of it in our purses and on our key chains. There, we've covered male and female behavior. But are we using it correctly? and can it be used to make a super bug, bug, bug, bug, USA Today Network reviews facts and fiction surrounding hand sanitizer. Myths. Kids who suck their thumbs shouldn't use hand sanitizer. It's generally okay to apply hand sanitizer on a child.

Oh, geez, that just covered themselves legally. Generally, it's okay. My kid just died. Well, we didn't say totally a taste. A taste amount from the hand is not usually a problem. Nicole Reed, a registered nurse, and a certified specialist in poison information told USA Today Network. At most, there may be some irritation in the mouth from the alcohol-based products. Do keep an eye on kids, though.

Oh, fuck, here's a goddamn advertising. There we go. hand sanitizers often smells good and comes in bright colored packages that's attractive to children. Ingesting a large amount of it could make them very sick, she said, or shit-faced, depending on what brand you use. Myth, sort of. Using hand sanitizer can lead to the creation of superbugs. The concern about superbugs centers around a chemical ingredient found in many antibacterial products called tricyosan. Tricil sand is not found in most hand sanitizers, but it is found in many antibacteria hand soaps and cleaners.

Recent studies have found that the chemical may alter the way hormones work in the body, according to federal drug amendment, the FDA. All right. It may also contribute to bacterial resistance to antibiotics or superbugs. Tris c is not considered an essential ingredient for many products, and its use is currently under review by the FDA and the environmental protection agency. The FDA is also made up of a bunch of people that used to work in the industries that they're supposed to be policing. So who knows? This is what I'm a moron, because there's a bunch of other facts. I don't even know if they're facts. I just get bored. But this is why I don't read a lot of shit because I'm reading this on USA Today, and then

USA Today just has a bunch of clickbait, like underneath. Remember Catherine Bell from Jag. See where she is now. Google may not show you this. Enter any name. This is on the USA Today site. This is supposed to be like a fucking reputable newspaper. Top five local solar companies. Check out best and worst reviews. I want solar panels. I want one big one right on my forehead. All right, plow on head. Okay. You know what the greatest thing about my daughter is right now besides everything is she gives

hugs now, like legit hugs, right? Like, I opened the door to her room today. She was in there talking to herself. I opened the door to her room. She just goes, hi. Right? So I start cracking up, I'm like, hi. And I walk over to pick her up. I pick her up. She grabs like around my neck. And behind my neck, she grabs like a handful of my shirt, like I owe her money, you know. And then the other hand is just sort of on my shoulder. And she pulls herself into me with, their head right up against my head. And I'm standing like, are you kidding me? This is the greatest thing ever. And then after like just squeezing me for like a good five, the best five seconds of my life, she then lets up and then gave me a kiss and then went and hugged me again.

It was so awesome. I literally reenacted it to my laugh. I was like, this is what she did this morning. The best part is the handful of this shirt. Or maybe the first part, the handful of this shirt. or maybe the feeling of the side of their face on yours. I don't know what, but all I can tell you is the greatest thing ever is becoming a dad. It's awesome. You know, I know there's the lack of sleep. I know your sex laugh goes out the fucking window. But it's worth it.

It's totally fucking worth it. Oh, Jesus. Here we go. We have one read. One read in the barren landscape. The Walking Dead, that is my. fucking advertisers lately. All right. It's the smartest way

to hire. Oh, guess what? So as mentioned. As mentioned, old freckles. Hey there, freckled face running under a tree because you don't want a sunburn. Getting the shit kicked out of you every outdoor recess.

Where's a teacher when you need one? It's turning 50. The big five-oh. Five-o club. What happened to those fucking people? They dropped me too, I think. Or maybe they're just hanging out. Maybe they're laying in the weeds.

50 years old, I'm turning. So I have to go to the doctor. I've decided that I'm actually going to get a doctor. All right? I'm going to go in there and I'll be like, all right, light me up. Let's see. Take some x-rays. Check out my heart.

I'm doing all of that shit. Right? After a half a fucking century, are running around, eating fucking burgers and bologna sandwiches and shit. I'm going to see how much damage I've done to myself. And hopefully they won't find anything. And if they do, hopefully they can fix it. And that'll be good.

I'll get a little freshen up here. You know, got my teeth all straightened out here. Ready to read the fucking news. I'm telling you right now, Connie Chung has nothing on me. Did she have nice teeth? I don't fucking remember. Anyways, yes, I'm going to go in there. I'm going to get my heart, liver.

Oh, Jesus. Stomachreous, the whole goddamn thing. Kidneys, the whole fucking thing, right? Hey, what was that movie? That guy was it where they flew the spaceship around inside the person's body? The fuck was that called? Come on, Ed. You just knock?

All right, I'm going to get my ears checked out too. What is, hey, Nia, what's the name of that movie that Dennis Quaid was in where he was flying around inside somebody's body? Inner space, yeah. I got to get that fucking procedure. You know when you turn 50 now, they got to do that, right? They got to do the fucking IMAX up your ass, camera up your ass, inner space. I have to do all of that shit. It's fucking, you know, how did this happen?

I used to be a young man But whatever I'm gonna go fucking do it Because I got the little kid You know if I didn't have the kid You know I think I just sort of drink myself to death You know

You know what I would love to do If I didn't have any responsibilities When I was seeing those people Standing there doing that America I love her to leave it I wish I just had a lawn chair I could have just sat under a tree across the street You know

With a nice fucking adult beverage You know and I have to have a mixer though, right, in case the cops came by. Officer, I'm just drinking lemonade. It's gluten-free and just sit there watching them. It was part of me that actually enjoyed watching them come down. Like, hey, let's go down there and piss off a bunch of liberals,

and they come down. And I just don't think that they made the problem better. They didn't make anybody on the left and want to listen to what the fuck they had to say. But they were morons. And I don't think everybody on the right is. like that. I don't think everybody on the left is a fucking lunatic. One of them hairy-legged lunatics over there trying to fucking change everything that we hold there. Who knows? Who the fuck knows? All right. We're a half hour in here. I got a bunch of bullshit to do today.

Dude, my drum room is done and I can't even fucking tell you. But I'm going to tell, I'm going to try to tell you how fucking awesome it is. the first time in my life I can play drums as loud as I want and not piss anybody off okay if you like me okay if it's just a hobby and every time you go to play

somebody tells you to shut the fuck up and you always think why didn't I just play the ukulele why did I have to pick this instrument I'm going to tell you right now you need to get a drum room I don't give a fuck how you do it just you know I was actually thinking you know if this

thing didn't work what I was going to do. I was just going to pay somebody to literally dig a fucking hole in the ground like a bomb shelter. All right? And just stick the whole fucking thing under the ground, right? Put some cinder blocks, make a little room and you literally have to go down a ladder into the fucking thing. And then of course I don't stop there. I'm like, well, what if I had a tunnel going from the fucking house like Al Capone? And I could just walk in like that. You have it underneath, you know? The taxman can't see it so he can't tax you for it, you know? And then this is thing. Someday you sell the house and you don't tell anybody that it's there. Then one day somebody discovers it and then they're filming it and they're all fucking excited to see, oh, what's going to be

down there? Is there going to be a safe? Is there going to be a dead body? Is they going to be a teradactor leg from prehistoric times? And they go down there. It's just some big stupid drum room. pictures of Fred Curry and Ricky Rocket and Tommy Lee. Nico McBrain, all these people that I grew up watching, Phil Rudd, I'd leave the posters. I don't have posters of any of those people. All right, let's do, and I've actually, because of my shoulder, which I'm telling you, man, I got it up to about 85% here, and I just can't fuck it up by wailing on the drums. I've just been working on my feet.

And just the fucking bands that I'm getting into because I've just been listening to a lot of double bass now. And my younger brothers were always into like Pantera and shit. And I was just like, that's too heavy for me. I can't believe I didn't. You know, I was old enough. I could have saw that band and I didn't. But I've just gone fucking got like everything that they have now. And I always knew Vinnie Paul was a fucking great drummer, but Jesus Christ.

Just incredible, incredible fucking drummer. And Cowboys from Hell and I'm Broken are probably my two favorites. And somebody, my drum teacher told me about their live album, that 101 proof. And just how they end, I'm broken with that little double bass fucking riff there in the end. It's just like, I want to learn how to fuck. I'm going to learn how to fucking do that. And I'm going to do that in my drum room. and that's it.

That's what the fuck I've been doing. I've been doing that and working on the, uh, that my sugar bleed song. That's what I do. I'm going to start double bass with the, probably the most difficult double bass song you could possibly have. I'm up to about,

uh, 70 BPMs being able to play that lick, uh, with playing eighth notes. Like, like, like, the,

burth, like that, that. It's not even that's fast. It's more like da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. And that's what I do. Okay. Now that you learn how fucking boring my actual life is, other than when my kid gives me a hug in the morning. All right, 34 fucking minutes in. Let's see if I can fucking bullshit for another 26 minutes here. Oh, by the way, they added a show. There's a third show that I'm trying to sell up there in Vancouver. I'm going to be up there on March 7th and March 8th, which is going to be,

it's going to be so much fucking fun. I can't wait. And I, I'm like chomping at the bit to start my road gigs. First of all, you know, I haven't worked that much this year so far. And, you know, the bills keep coming in, if you know what I mean, you know? The wife keeps spending money the kid needs something everybody's fucking you know here's this fee for this here's this fee for fucking that this is a processing fee and all that next thing you know they just deplete your fucking i have no fucking idea how anybody ever retires but i understand why when you do you eat fucking dog food just trying to stretch every goddamn nickel you can go and how long am i going how long do i have to stretch this out all right sheriff dipshit this is what this is what somebody wrote in

Now that I've brought up, you know, talking about guns and that type of thing, trying to keep everybody calm and relaxed and have a nice conversation where we can somehow try to find a solution. Because God knows if smart people couldn't come up with a solution, I think it's time for someone of my intellect with the podcast, laying here talking to nobody to come up with a solution. This is like when a celebrity says that they're going to run for president, what I'm doing here. This is what happens.

All right. Sheriff dipshit. Bill, I'll tell you who's a fuck up. The sheriff from that town. You got to see this guy doing interviews. I love how this person writes. The sheriff from that town. Like what town?

You just literally, you fucking had half the conversation already in your head. Bill, I'll tell you who's a fuck up. the sheriff from that fucking town. You got to see this guy doing interviews. He talks, oh my God, he talks like a Long Island Jew who runs a deli. Oh, boy. How dumb is this person? That's a great way to make a point.

Say something anti-Semitic right out of the gate. That'll make people listen. He went on CNN and started calling for gun control to take away attention from the fact that he had deputies push out and not engage the shit. shooter. All right. I did read that there was stuff like that, that there was allegedly stuff like that going on. And let me guess, buddy, you would have ran right in there, right, with your fucking nine millimeter? Would you, would you, would you, would you fucking pull a nine millimeter on a guy who had a fucking AR 15? Would you fucking do? I'm just asking you that. Huh? And if you would,

then what do you need an AR 15 for? You're evidently not afraid. Um, there's a lot of people that fucking freeze up and you never know what you're going to do in that time. All of a sudden, you start thinking of your kid. Who knows? It's very easy to sit there being like, look, these fucking people, they're fucking go, you know, you know what I would have done? They did the same thing a cop who shoots an innocent black guy did in the sense that they were not ready for the job. They had the uniform and an idea that they were someone who could handle this. They weren't. Dude, this is all a legend. The sheriff office and the shitty FBI. I fucking blew it when it came to all the warnings.

I've read that too. I don't believe in taking every gun, but how about not letting a delinquent kid buy a fucking semi-automatic rifle, along with some stricter shit in place? We need people who can do their fucking job. You know, if you take away the anti-Semitism in that, I actually agree with most of that. Yeah, like if everything that they're saying is true,

that people, like literally said this. kid is threatening to shoot up a school. He's taking pictures of himself with guns on. I just can't believe yet another kid did that. There was all these warning signs, and people were still allegedly ignoring it. If that is the case, you know what I mean? Is it because it's guns?

I don't know what it is. If somebody was on Instagram going, you know, I'm going to take my dick out at school. They were standing there with holding their fucking dick shaking it, right? I mean, how fucking long would you last? It would be over. It'd be fucking over, wouldn't it? I mean, what do these people have to do? In a way, isn't that like a cry for help?

All right. Guns are fun. Exclamation point. My dearest, Mr. Burr, I grew up in rural Washington State with guns in the house and went to school with kids who had gun racks in their trucks and went hunting after school. Sounds like the beginning of red dawn. As an adult, I never owned a gun since I don't hunt and I live in a city with police minutes away, so I feel like I can see both sides of the issue. Now, there's a great fucking point. With police minutes away, provided you're white. They're minutes away, and they will help you, provided your weight.

I'm fucking around before me. They're fucking help me, shut the fuck up. I'm allowed to make jokes here. Yeah, I get that. I get that because that is the feeling. I always understood owning a gun whenever I did like college gigs and road gigs that were in the middle of nowhere. Like you just drive by some little farmhouse, some little fucking house in the middle of nowhere. And you're just like this.

What is to stop anybody from just driving up that driveway? No matter how loud you scream for help, no one was going to hear it. All right. Anyways, he says, anyways, the guy goes, that being said, I don't think the system of rules we have now. was working and I think we could do better. Now, I don't think anybody can argue that. Whatever system we have is not working. And because I'm saying

it's not working doesn't mean I'm saying that they now have to fucking outlaw certain guns or whatever. I'm just saying that, you know, if somebody is literally saying, I'm going to shoot up a fucking school or making threats like that while with taking pictures of themselves with guns and then people bring that to the authorities

allegedly and nothing was done. Yet, There's something not working. All right. My ideas are as follows. One, people who want to hunt can have bold action hunting rifles. One shot, one kill. Bye, bye, Bambi.

Mommy wants some venison stakes. All right. You went a lot there with the reference. Two references there. Why Bambi? You know, why wouldn't you shoot the mother? So then Bambi has no mom. Isn't that how it's supposed to, that's the way Disney did it?

Oh, this fucking Hollywood liberal. All right. People who want to protect their homes can have shotguns for the spread, obviously. Well, the one thing about the spread is like, what if they've already grabbed your fucking kid? You know? I don't know. That's a tough fucking thing, too. Like to shoot a gun in your house, you want enough firepower to kill somebody, but you don't want it to go through them, through a wall, and into somebody else that you actually like or maybe tolerating, you know, if you have in-laws living with you, right?

Into the other room. And then you got to deal with that for the rest of your life. And then you shot my mother-in-law. Honey, I didn't know she's on the other. I shot the fucking guy. I tell you know something? Your whole fucking family is crazy. I don't know why I ever married any of these people.

I should have known it, man. Your fucking whole family had one pair of fucking shoes. All right. Number three. All right. Pistols only for cops, security guards, or other people who have a credible reason that involves the need to occasionally shoot someone. I think that's how they do it in Australia. Not sure. Too lazy to confirm. All right. I like the honesty of that. This all makes sense, but it's also like, what about bad people who don't give a shit about loss? And then everybody turns in there, I don't know. and you live in the middle of nowhere,

and you turn in your fucking gun, and then the douchebag who wants to rob your dozen. Then what? All right, number three, people who want to have fun and blow shit up can own whatever the fuck they want, but it has to be delivered and kept at a licensed gun range at all times. Gun rages could become the new golf course.

This guy's got some interesting ideas. Show up with your buddies or the ladies. rent a fucking machine gun and have a blast. Shoot up a bunch of paper targets, dummies that look like monsters, or even shoot up some burned out cars. Doesn't matter. You're having fun. Safety and responsibility in a controlled environment. Just some ideas. Nothing too crazy. I hope. Go fuck yourself safely and responsibly, of course. I like a lot of that. The flying the fucking ointment in all of this is people that aren't going to comply with it. You know? And then everybody's going to turn in their fucking. and guns and comply with all of that except for like criminals or whatever. But then it doesn't say anything that you can't have a sword.

What if you booby trap your house? I don't know. What are the odds that someone's going to come into your house? I have no idea. I don't fucking know. I'm, I kind of believe that now that they're out there, I don't know how you fucking bring it back. All this is doing is just, you know what it is?

Because there's always like the what if. and all of that. Because if we did have it like that, like, you know, when you go to England, the cops don't even have guns. They just come up and they just swarm around you and they just sort of club you. But the people walking around don't really have guns as far as I know. I don't know. Isn't it funny that I just don't look anything up and I just start talking? Gun violence in England. Let's see what this brings up. gun crime in London increases by 42%. Gun violence rare in UK compared to the U.S.

Well, it's because we're the best at everything. If London was better at fucking... If England was better at gun violence, we'd still be under their fucking rule, right? All right. Gun crime in London increases by 42%. This is a BBC news. Oh, wait. You know, something because of terrorism. Now they have all... The Met Police said there was complex social reasons why more young people are carrying knives. All right, we went from guns to knife.

Gun crimes in London surged by 42% in the last year, according to official statistics. The Met Police's figure shows that there were 2,544 gun crime offenses from April 2016 to April 2017, compared to 1,793 offenses from 2015 until 2016. All right. So, I mean, essentially, you know, that's kind of like fucking, what would that be? That's about six incidents a day. No, less than that. Five, four and a half.

That's pretty good for a whole city, though, right? Knife crime also increased by 24%, with 12,074 recorded offenses from 2016 to 2017. The Mets said, although crime rates were rising, they remained at a much lower level than five years ago. Scotland, yeah, registered annual rises across a number of serious offensive categories in the past 12 months. Okay, all right. I don't know what I just learned there. I have no idea.

Oh, and then on the side, they have blind MMA champion takes on a new fight. American who fled gay conversation in Africa. Everybody just has clickbait. Mum's bullying campaign leads to honesty app band. Immigration dominates Italian election. There's a decent story. Breakthroughs take time to sell. Rare photographs that changed lives.

Yeah, boy. What are we doing here? Okay. Let's go back to whatever the fuck I was just reading. All right. A radiologist explains why a bullet from an AR-15 is so lethal. Was anybody questioning? I just thought they kind of bounced off you.

Okay. Hey, Bill, love what you do, and you are an amazing asset to the community. Oh, you buttered me up. I'm definitely going to read this. I recently found this article from the viewpoint of a radiologist concerning the power of an AR-15. You usually don't hear the viewpoints from people in the medical field. It's the viewpoint that makes this piece unique and joy.

All right. Go to the page. Okay, here we go. What I saw treating the victims from Parkland should change the debate on guns. They weren't the first mass shooting victims the Florida radiologists saw, but the wounds were radically different. As I opened the CT scan last week to read the next case, I was baffled. The history simply read gunshot wounds. I had been a radiologist in one of the busiest trauma centers in the United States for 13 years

and have diagnosed thousands of handgun injuries to the brain, lung, liver, spleen, bowel, and vital organs. I thought that I knew all that I needed to know about gunshot wounds, but the specific pattern of injury on my computer screen was one that I had only seen once before. In a typical handgun injury, which I diagnose almost daily, a bullet leaves a laceration through an organ such as the liver. To a radiologist, it appears as a linear, thin, gray bullet track through the organ. There may be bleeding in some bullet fragments. I was looking at a CT scan of one of the mass shooting victims from Marjorie Stoneham Douglas High School. I hope I said that right. did I say majority earlier, who had been brought to the trauma center during my call shift.

The organ looked like an overripe melon smashed by a sledgehammer and was bleeding extensively. How could a gunshot wound cause this much damage? The reaction in the emergency room was the same. One of the trauma surgeons opened a young victim in the operating room and found only shreds of the organ that had been hit by the bullet from an AR-15, a semiotic rifle that delivers a devastatingly lethal high-velocity. bullet to the victim. Nothing was left to repair and utterly devastating. Nothing could be done to fix the problem. The injury was fatal. A year ago, when a gunman opened fire at the Fort Laudelago Airport with a 9mmet semi-automatic handgun hitting 11 people in 90 seconds, I was on call. It was not until I had diagnosed the third of the six victims who were transported to the trauma center that I

realized something out of the ordinary must have happened. The gunshots wounds were the same low-level velocity handgun injuries that I diagnosed every day, only rapid succession set them apart. And all six of the victims who arrived at the hospital that they survived. Routine handgun injuries leave entry and exit wounds and linear tracks through the victim's body that are roughly the size of the bullet. If the bullet does not directly hit something crucial like the heart or the a order, the victim does not bleed to death before being transported to care at the trauma center, chances are that we can save them. The bullets fired by an AR-15 are different. They travel at a higher velocity and far more lethal than routine bullets fired from a handgun. The damage they cause

is a function of the energy they impart as they pass through the body. A typical AR-15 bullet leaves the barrel traveling almost three times faster and imparting more than three times the energy of a typical 9mm bullet from a handgun in AR-15 rifle outfitted with a magazine with 50 rounds allows many more lethal bullets to be delivered quickly without reloading. All right. Yeah, it's a machine gun. I've seen a handful of air 50 injuries in my career. Years ago, I saw one from a man shot in the back by a SWAT team.

The injury along the path of the bullet from the air 50 is vastly different from a low velocity handgun. Okay, I get it. I get it. All right. So there you go. So there's that fucking viewpoint. I feel like all of a sudden I'm doing like an NPR show here.

Like there's nothing funny anymore. This is all AR-15 stuff. All right, here's one. Should we move to California? Hey, Billy Lepricon. My girlfriend and I are sick of the winters in Ontario. Half the year it's cold, snowy, and gloomy. My girlfriend and I fantasize about moving somewhere that's warm year-round.

Should we move to California? Is it all it's cracked up to be? looking forward to seeing you in Kitchener in March. You know, the grass is always greener. The sand is always browner. You know, I don't think California needs anybody else to move here. It's really overpopulated. And there's a lot of advantages to living where you're living.

I been to Ontario a bunch of times. It's God's country up there. I know it gets cold and that type of shit, but the fact that you live where there's a water supply, you're not, I mean, if you want to just live in a constant state of drought, I always feel like when you live in Los Angeles,

you're like eight years ahead of the curve as far as like environmental disasters, because Los Angeles is an environmental disaster. It never should have existed. We had to steal water to be here. And they're building all these skyscrapers. And, you know, it was kind of nice for a minute or a little bit after those fucking banker cunts cooked the economy. A bunch of people left L.A.

And now they're all being driven back into the city. And the, we won the most congested city in the United States. And that's saying something. But so if that's what you want to become a part of, San Francisco is more expensive than New York City at this point. I got to tell you, it's a breathtakingly beautiful state, though, when you go a little north of where I'm at. And if you can appreciate the desert,

the desert is also very beautiful. But to be living in it is a little unsettling if you read up on it. But, you know, I'm in the business I'm in, so I got to fucking live out here. I don't know what business you're in, but I don't know. You know what I would do? I would just take an awesome vacation every year with your girlfriend and just break up the winner. You know? Take a week in like a weekend or like a week, whatever the fuck you want to do and just get the

fuck out of Dodge, just break it up. That's all you really need to do. Because the tradeoff is what you're going to be doing is now you're going to live in a climate where it's like people come here to go on vacation to go out to like Santa Monica and shit. So once you kind of live in where there's palm trees and shit, which are not indigenous to here I've learned, it's not really exciting to go to a lot of places after that. You're like, oh wow, this looks like where I live. You know, I actually get excited by the winter. It's weird. I don't know. I can't make these decisions for you.

I don't know. I don't fucking. I don't pretend to know. All right. Back to the gun shit. And this is the last time I'm doing the gun shit because I'm not just, this is not going to become the gun podcast. I just find people's opinions really interesting here because I don't, I don't own guns and that type of shit. So I find it interesting. All right. Bill, I own multiple air 15s. I hate that they are being used for mass shootings. Contrary from what you hear, their best use is for hunting. Mostly varmets, fox, coyotes, prairie dogs, etc. Now, varmets is the proper word, by the way.

Yucentemis, Sam, ruined that word that made everybody who uses the word varmets sound like a fucking moron. Let me look up the exact definition here. Varmits. Varmint. A trumbelsome wild animal. A troublesome and mischievous person, especially a child. An animal considered a pest, specifically one classified as vermin and unprotected by game law. Varmint hunting is the practice of hunting.

I hate when they do this. A vermin. Generally small mammals targeted as a means of pest control rather than for food. Varminter may refer to a varmint hunter or describe hunting. Okay, so this guy's using this correctly before. everybody who, you know, you know, thinks this is Yosemite, Sam, they are extremely accurate and have very little recoil.

I'm able to shoot holes in quarters at 100 yards. Jesus, that's fucking impressive. They are very fun to take to a range and shoot. With that said, at gun shows and stores, there's a really sad culture of losers that talk about tactical situations, like their real-life John Rambo's. Yeah, they're basically like the fantasy football players, you know, acting like they know how to run a fucking football team, except they're gun owners.

They usually look like vermin, oh, virgin basement dwellers. The thing a lot of people don't understand about the AR-15 is that it's a modular rifle, modular rifle. I buy them in parts and assemble them on my own. There's billions of billions of parts that would be available forever through private parties to make more rifles. They will never go away. We need to get more security in schools. There should be no way anyone should be able to walk into a school with the gun. Okay, so then if you have a metal detector at the school, no one could get in with the gun, which sounds good.

But then, you know, we used to fucking, they used to let you run around and play outside the school before you went in. So wouldn't the kid just show up there? All right. A metal detector on the bus. No, I actually agree with that. I think that that would be smart. Okay, there's billions and billions of parts. Google Ruger Mini 14 IT.

Mini 14. It does the same thing. Doesn't look scary. The problem isn't the guns. My guns will never be used for hunting humans. In Minnesota, where I live to get parts or complete ARs, you have to go to the county sheriff and get a permit to purchase card. They take about four weeks to get and have a pretty stringent background check. I think it would be great if the entire country had the same process.

I think the Second Amendment is just as important as the first. I wish we could all have an honest conversation about it. I would say a calm conversation about it. The last one I'll read here. fucked up country. Hey there, Billy Strongjaw. Saw this on Reddit. It's a story about how a 15-year-old girl with learning disabilities and severe ADHD got in prison for throwing apples at a mailman.

Went to prison? Was sent to prison, you mean? She continued to struggle with officers through the entire process and ended up doing five years until she hung herself. after the first shitty prison transfer transferred her to a federal prison for women. Is this true? This sounds fucking crazy. They interview a girl she knew in prison

who said she would talk back to the guards because she thought it was funny. The whole time she was in there, she thought it was silly that she was in prison for throwing apples. Whatever side of the spectrum she's on, she had the mentality the whole time she was in there. She had that mentality the whole time

she was in there. At one point, they put her in this harness thing that is the most ridiculous dehumanizing thing you've ever seen, as well as putting on a hockey helmet so she couldn't swing her head around while tied down because they didn't want her to be a danger to herself. It's at the 1233. I don't want to watch. This is sounds horrible. Anyways, I'm thinking, man, our country prison system is fucked up. Then they said that it was somewhere in Ontario. And let me tell you, Bill, Canada hides behind the shitty prime minister do-good douche, who just said the right thing all the time. Meanwhile, they had mental health protocol.

Wait, meanwhile, they had mental health protocol than anything I've seen in a duck. You mean worse? You kind of left a word out. About the U.S. prison system that I can recall. Fair enough. Oh, so Canada did all of this shit. Let me see here. Clicking on the link.

what we've got here. I don't want to do. I don't want to watch this. I don't want to watch it. Anyways, all right. Well, there we go. So that's going to be the end of the gun debate on this fucking podcast. I don't know.

I hope that people just understand that people who live out in the air, quote, middle of nowhere, you know, like how they're living and how they have to defend themselves is different than you like living in a city. You know, and then they can also go out and hunt and they know how to hunt, which is a, you know, probably the most important skill you could have, you know, if the shit hits the fan, the fact that you know how to fucking go out and get something to eat without going to a supermarket. I don't know.

I don't know. I think, having listened to all of you guys. There has, we just have to have a better system of, uh, uh, you. I mean, I don't know how to do it. How do you make sure? How do you make sure that crazy people don't get guns so then regular people who just want to enjoy them and fucking hunt or just shoot up a bunch of shit or whatever? Or they just don't trust the government, which I don't think is paranoid, considering what has been done to our food supply, the pharmaceutical companies, bankers, insurance companies, how they just kind of are able to do whatever the fuck they want to do. And if you really look at a lot of the shit that they've done to this country, it's acts of terrorism that a lot of terrorist groups would fucking jerk off to.

Okay. Poisoning the food supply, you know, making Americans sick, cooking the economy, all of that type of shit, putting shit in the water supply. I mean, those are all terrorists. That's shit the terrorists fucking jerk off to. So I understand why people would not trust their government at that fucking point. I don't know. I don't know what. All I know is that after a while, it gets overwhelmingly depressing. And I don't know what to do about it.

And that's it. I'm going to go play with my kid and go play some drums. That's it. God bless all you. God bless all you responsible fucking gun owners out there. God bless all you people out there who feel like, yeah, if we just got rid of all of them, you know what? God bless everyone.

and go fuck yourselves each and every one of you. Those are you who have guns and those of you don't. All right? This has been a fucking moron to try to get to the bottom of something, and he failed miserably. I'll check it on my kid. On Thursday, and I've got to start watching some Bruins games. I've got to figure this out, okay?

Every morning I'm watching puppy dog pals and vampirina with my daughter. Maybe I can get her watch a little bit. Maybe I'll just start watching the first period. That's better than no period, right? I don't fucking know. All right. I'll talk to you on Thursday.