Monday Morning Podcast - Drums & Donuts, 'Is This Thing On', Tablas | Monday Morning Podcast 12-29-25

Episode Date: December 29, 2025

Bill rambles about drums & donuts, 'Is This Thing On', and tablas. SimpliSafe:  This month only, take 50% off any new system at http://www.SimpliSafe.com/BURR 

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Byr, and it's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday. December 29th, 2025. What's going on? How are you? Holy shit, it's the last goddamn Monday of the year. And I would say the best Monday of the year. The Monday between Christmas and New Year's,

because most likely you have it off. Well, at least you did back in the day. Not these fucking heartless bastards now. They send you right back to work. You know? They send you right back to work. They make people put tips on credit cards. They take a portion of your tips.

They fucking make money off of that too. They don't give you any benefits. And we all know who the problem is. The fucking immigrants. If we could just get these fucking immigrants in a van, and stuck in a jail with alligators around them, then all of a sudden, these billionaires, you know, they'll start loosening up the purse strings

and they'll start trickling down again. Totally makes sense. Got to get these fucking illegal immigrants out of here, man. You know, these fucking people are, you know, picking fucking comquots for $3 a month. And, you know, if they can do that for 200 years and then pool all of their money together to somehow keep up with inflation,

they will, in fact, outbid one of you on a house. Just glad we got our priorities straight. I'm so sick of them, pointing the finger at the wrong people. Finally, they're pointing the finger at the right people. You know, get these goddamn illegal immigrants out of here so the pharmaceutical industry can actually, you know, focus on their job. Doing the right thing for everybody. You know, you watch, man, once they get these illegal immigrants out of this country,

you watch all of a sudden magically, Democrats and Republicans will start working for the people. You won't be able to bribe them anymore. Why do politicians make such little amount of money? You know, if anybody should get a pay raise, forget the fucking teachers. Let's start with the politicians. You know, if you're going to be president in the United States and have to deal with that many fucking bodies. You know, I'm not talking about the whores by the fucking first lady pool, whatever they call that thing. Huh? The look the other way lagoon? Is that what they call the

fucking? Oh, if that pool could talk. Is there a pool at the fucking White House? Wait a minute. Do you only make like 200 grand a year to be president and you don't have a fucking pool? That's got to be the worst fucking place to live ever. It must feel like a fucking zoo animal. Just sitting there and all these people with like their faces pressed up against the fence. It would be bad enough if you just had a bunch of people

looking at you in your house. You know, in general, that would suck. But to have them fucking like all of their hopes and dreams are on you, they're blaming you for everything. Like, how does the press, I can't believe no president has ever walked out onto the balcony. It just been like, will you guys get the fuck out of here? Can I have five fucking minutes? You see this red phone?

I'm going to pick it up if you fucking guys don't take a walk. Keep standing there. Keep standing there. I'll start pressing buttons in here. Mr. President, Mr. President, nothing. my name's bill i'm getting the fuck out of here right there's no way how do you not lose your goddamn mind and the whole time you're in there you got to make all these decisions knowing that it's not good for your country that it's good for a small group of people but if you don't do

it you're going to get a convertible ride in dallas the least you could do is make more money than some fucking whore on tic talk and it doesn't happen and then what do we do we wonder why These politicians are corrupt. They're not making enough money. We've got to pay them. You got to give them enough money where they're unbribable. And then what?

What if they're still an asshole? You know, there's too many variables. Oh, Jesus Christ. You know, Bill, just stick with sports. Just keep watching sports and playing drums. That's what I'm going to do. Okay?

That's my life goal. Just keep watching sports. And, you know, occasionally running into people that watch the news and just ride out whatever they're saying, you know? It's nothing worse than having somebody informed in your life. Jesus Christ, if you just want to constantly be in the fight or flight mode. And I don't mean somebody that watches CNN of Fox News, the sitcom of news. I don't mean that bullshit.

I mean somebody who's actually digging deep. You know? Getting into the fucking weeds on the internet. Going rogue. I love people that like fucking go deep on the internet. Like you're going to be the one that figures it out. Like the internet's not going to get you. You're not going to get radicalized.

That's for all those other people. Dude, the amount of people that I have seen that have just like, you know, we've all gone a little, can we admit, we've all gone a little crazy on the internet. internet will fucking even even at the most basic level remember when ebay was the thing that was like sort of the the shopping fent fentanyl is that i say like 10 20 years ago i would be up at like two o'clock in the morning after doing a spot in new york and i would be bidding on 1777 tops football complete set of cards

and being psyched when I won and I bought like four or five years and somebody stole them I think somebody who worked on my house took him because I wanted to go move and I couldn't find him so and you know what I say? God bless that guy. God bless that guy because I bought all those cards

and I never looked at him. I looked at him like once and it felt good and then I had them and I was like where the fuck do I put these but I only like the ones from when I'm a kid Bill are you going off the rails? Can you stick to the point? All right, I'll stick to the point.

Like everybody, you've kind of lost your mind. You bought some shit you didn't need. You chimed in on something you shouldn't have chimed in. That's like light work. Right? And you got like the mezzanine level of losing your fucking mind is you just start going deep into porn. you know what I mean

like a cinephile mixed with like human trafficking before you come out the other side going what the fuck did I just do to my soul I can't even look at another leather couch and then you have all the way to the

you start getting to the bottom which is when you just get politically radicalized which is where so many people are where they literally don't like half of their countrymen because I keep, you know, joking around on stage talking about this alligator Alcatraz stuff going like, you realize what they did.

Ice is their brown shirts and that's their first concentration camp and when they run out of fucking immigrants, who do you think's going in there? You don't give a fuck now because you don't see yourself in that van. But eventually they're going to run out of those people. And then who he thinks is going in there?

And this guy in the crowd goes, Oh, the Democrats. That's what he said. The Democrats. And I go, really? And he goes, who else could it be? That's how gone this guy was. He was so deep into the Internet that it was like, not only could he not see himself going in there. He only could see people who didn't agree with them going in there. And at no point did it dawn on him that those were his fellow countrymen. happened half of the country would be gone making this country half as strong as it once was have half the ability to defend itself that's how fucked the internet is so my goal in 2026 i don't know how you do this as a comedian because i got to know what people are watching and what they're talking about I got to somehow

you know how people drink responsibly I need to like be on the internet responsibly I'm off social media now I still have my pages because I got to have them I got to promote my shit

I mean what am I supposed to do here I got off them in like end of August early September but then I kind of just replaced it with YouTube YouTube app sucks, by the way. Like you click on videos and they just keep sending you, like,

they'll send you 10 new ones and like four of them are ones you already saw. I don't know. You would think that they would work on some shit like that. But anyway, what am I talking about? I'm talking about how it's the end of the year and you take stock and you try to improve yourself.

Oh, Billy Yoga Matt. Old Billy Yoga Matt has been doing the right thing throughout the holidays. I almost got the flat stomach. I'm right there. I am right there. I used to be able to grab two giant fucking handfuls of mistakes right on my stomach. And now I'm like pinching an inch with each hand. So I've got to get rid of that.

And then I'll be happy. Then I'll be happy. Then I'll be able to walk down the street. and hold my Charlie Brown head up high. No, I took my son out the other day. We were hanging out all day. And we do this day called, it's drums and donuts. Because the first time I took him to the drum store,

he, like, lost his mind and wanted to play every drum kit there. And every time I would ask him, you know, say, hey, buddy, it's time to go. We would start to have a meltdown. And I'd be embarrassed because it was all these things. adults there and shit so i finally had to bribe him just be like dude you you want to get a donut he was like a donut i was like yeah you want to get a donut he was like yeah like dude look at me like how the fuck do you come up with that right so then that's what it became it became drums and donut

so now he just plays and then i he looks at me he goes all right dad let's get a donut so we we go to do that but like i went over to uh uh pro drum my favorite drum shop in the country pro drum shop over there on vine and they had a grech broadcaster which is the kind of drum kit i had i have and they had this one in there with like this it almost looked like mother of pearl but it was purple i'll i'm not going to lie to you if you had a bigger kit it'd be a lot but this was a little like four piece kit um

you know with the snare drum but it was just really just a rack of floor and a 22 inch kick if that was a 24 inch kick oh I would have had a really hard time laying off it it was fucking cool I was looking at golden I would put that in my living room

you know the way somebody get some people People get an armoire or whatever. What are those fucking things people have in there? Armwar is in the bedroom. That's what you put clothes in. And then there's that thing in Ottoman. It all sounds the same. Can we just take time out and just tip our caps to furniture salesmen?

Just how easily they can go from armoire to Ottoman and just not get all confused. Speaking of confused, I woke up this morning, and I went on my phone, boo-do-do-do-do, and I looked up David Berkowitz while I was alone, and I read about the son of Sam. I was, I don't know why.

I just woke up thinking about him, going, is that guy dead? Then I just started reading about him. And they said he drove a 1970 yellow Ford Galaxy. And I'm like, Ford Galaxy, I know what those things looked like in the mid-60s. I love that car. What did it look like in 1970? And then I was like, whatever happened at David Berkowitz's yellow Ford Galaxy?

And they don't even know. It was a major part of the evidence. And that's where they found all the shit. They found a letter in there. They found the gun, which was a 44 Magnum Bulldog. It got the nickname Bulldog. This is, I just went down this rabbit hole. I got the nickname Bulldog from an English service revolver that existed.

They made them from like, for like almost 100 years, like the 1860s to the 1960s. And they showed all of these wars that had fought in. And I had never heard a half of them. All of these uprisings from the people in the parts of the world that they had colonized. Then there was this weird thing where Japan tried to expand and do a land grab. I remember hearing about this, like they went in, and I believe they fought China and Russia in one and got a piece of Korea or China. I can't remember what.

And then the rest of the world went in there and piled on and pushed Japan back and was like, you're not allowed to expand. Only white countries can do that, right? on some super fucking, you know, white supremac shit. And I remember reading that that kind of led to, you know, World War II where they're like, well, what the fuck? We're just as smart as you. We're just as strong as you.

Why can't we be out there fucking oppressing people? You know? You think you're evil. Well, we got some evil that we want to do. And then they came back, like the Empire. strikes back world war two that's what it really was a lot of people focus on germany but when you go into i hate when people say this the pacific theater ever see war buffs and people the pacific theater they call it theater like it's entertaining i don't think anybody who ever

fought hand-to-hand combat in a fucking war or was actually up close to whatever called it theater. I still, I get me honest with you, I still don't understand why it is so widely accepted to this day. Like, I don't get it. Like, the amount of shit that is a comedian you can't say, but you can still go to war for a fucking corporation. You know, you can have these false flag wars and all of these fucking, you know, so-called journalists working for two fucking billionaires. Don't fucking say a goddamn word about it. It's, it's, It's a, yeah, that makes you think. So anyway, I was just looking up the history of that English gun.

And like, next thing, you know, I'm in Indonesia, I'm in Japan, I'm in China, I'm in South Africa. It was fucking wild. It's all over Europe. I mean, they did some damage. They did some damage with that gun. And then I was thinking like, yeah, I wonder how much a vintage one of those costs. Because I am a closet like gun guy. I fucking, I love guns.

I am afraid of them because I have no training in them. But I'm not going to lie, they are fucking, they're fun to look at. But I like, you know, I like the revolvers and I like the old West rifles. I like that shit. I'm not into that 1812 Revolutionary War shit. I like the M1. I like the M16. I'm a child of the 80s, so you know I love an Uzi.

You know, and any fucking gun that like Stallone had, I was into that or Clint Eastwood. I just like all of that shit. I've shot plenty of guns. I've just never had any training. Did I tell you guys, I must have told this story. One time, me and a buddy of mine, we were trying to get this landscaping business going.

So we're mowing this guy's fucking lawn. And we're kids. We're like fucking 18. He comes out of the house. He starts shooting the shit with us. And he somehow talks about how, out of nowhere, that he has this five-shot 38

that he's never shot and we're shooting this shit with him and let's go fucking shoot it and he goes all right and we went down the street it was like this abandoned sort of area but like there was another guy shooting there

it was weird and when we showed up the other guy to his credit immediately packed up his gun and left he just saw like one of these guys is going to shoot somebody and it's not going to be me, because we were idiots.

And obviously, the guy who was taking us down there was an idiot because what are you coming down there with like two 18-year-old kids who just were fucking doing landscaping? None of us knew what the fuck we were doing. And this was probably the beginning of my tinnitus.

I had no hearing protection on. And I remember I pulled the trigger the first time and I couldn't hear anything. And I just pulled it four more times to empty it. And my ears rang for like, three days and then it went away but then i kept listening to fucking acdc and playing drums and then that was the end of it then i got tinnitus and then that was it but uh that wasn't the first time i shot it first time i think i shot a gun was it a starter's piss i don't know

what it was it was something my dad had and he just had me pointed up at the sky we didn't even open the back door fully Dude, this is the 70s and the 80s. The 70s was the startup pill, so the 80s was the 5-shot 38. And you just did this shit. And by the way, what we were shooting at and we were trying to hit

was a burned-out car down this industrial area that somebody had clearly stolen it and burned it for the fucking insurance. And it was just sitting there. Like, I don't know if you guys, unless you grew up in New York, but when you used to drive down to New York City,

you know, one of the ways you knew you were getting close was there was just burned out vehicles on the side of the road right up until the 90s like Giuliani was like you know he gets a lot of shit but he did a lot of good stuff he did do a lot of good stuff as far as the aesthetic of the city like um just going out there and be like pick up those fucking cars it's like just driving into the city to see burned out cars they not only were they set on fire on the side of of the fucking highway they burned up until the flame went out or maybe the fire department came out and they put them out and they just left them there it gives you in the your perception

of the city before you even got there was like there are no fucking rules here there are no rules i can set up shop and do whatever the fuck i want because this is the wild west and i always thought one of the best things Giuliani did for tourism and everything for New York City was to pick up those fucking cars because I remember my whole family we drove down there for a Yankee's Red Sox game in 1983 when Dave Rigetti

spaghetti spaghetti was on the mound sat in the upper deck it was the second Yankee Stadium the refurbished Babe Ruth one the Reggie Jackson one and I remember it was fucking hot as balls but I remember driving down into the Bronx I was just like I was scared I was it was a day game I was like dude what the what the fuck is this New York is crazy

crazy it always kills me there was two times when I was in New York when I was a kid and I just think about what was going on like the first time I went there was the early 70s my dad had business down there we all went down and went to the Statue of Liberty and everything and I was thinking like I was down there and right around the time Martin Scorsese was shooting mean streets you know with fucking a young Robert De Niro

like I was there like that time might have overlapped I was there before taxi driver I always think of shit like that and then in 1983 it's like CBGBs had moved to like

New Wave at that point. The Beastie Boys were just starting, run DMC, all of that shit was going on right across the river. And I was in the Bronx and all of that shit was going on. I don't know, like just like fascinates the hell out of me. Also, Led Zeppelin,

that was like right around the time they shot Song Remains the Seppelin. same and uh you know i don't i don't know like i can't remember what year or what month we went in the early 70s but i always think about that shit um so anyway plowing ahead speaking of that i saw some movies this week oh billy billy movies um i got so much shit to talk about i okay i saw is this thing on the bradley cooper movie i absolutely me and nil absolutely loved, loved, loved, loved that movie. Will Arnett is fucking amazing.

And it's, he was such a natural as a stand-up comedian. And his material was fucking great because he was being vulnerable and personal. All of this stuff, that's like the hardest thing to be as a comedian, being vulnerable and like open as a comic. usually means the crowd's, you feel like the crowd's going to come at you. So, you know, stand up is a lot of cattle prodding and fucking defensive posture for a long time.

And his character's married to Laura Dern's character. They were both amazing. And Bradley Cooper is absolutely fucking hilarious in this movie. He was so goddamn funny. And the woman that played his wife, Andrew Day, I just loved her character because the movie is not necessarily about stand-up it's more about like relationships

it's a great adult movie put it that way me and my wife was a perfect fucking date movie and it was also I loved the way it was shot I became a huge fan of Brad the Cooper as a director I never saw Stars Born or I don't lean that way you know

I don't lean that way you know I don't go see musicals that's that's like a movie i would see on a plane you know um yeah so i never seen anything that you directed it was fucking i almost saw it because dice was in it but uh i i know i don't know my wife saw it she like called me up and was like crying saying how great it was and everything and then i was like i was really happy that she enjoyed it and i was also happy that I didn't see it. You know, I could see it now, but where I was mentally back then, like,

ugh, no car chase or titties. I don't want to see, you know, Meathead. But anyway, like the way he shot it was fucking beautiful. And I got to be honest with you, when I was doing Glenn Gary, they were down the cellar. And the fact that they shot it earlier this year, edited the thing, and it already came out, like fucking blows my mind, that amount of work. But anyway, the Andrew Day's character, what I loved about the move, is it showed how when you're going through a difficult time in your marriage,

the amount of unsolicited fucking advice you get from people that are also in a fucked up relationship. And all of a sudden they're talking to you like their home life isn't fucking crazy too. And I just loved her character how she was just projecting all of this shit. onto Will that was really like about her, you know, and not about him. And it really hit hard because I realized that I am a fucking projecting so-and-so. The second I see any hint of rough waters, I just fucking apply the algorithm from my childhood. Oh, and then you're going to do this, this, this, and this.

And I can go, fuck myself. Is that what it is? And then I literally walk around talking to myself, arguing with this person in my fucking head like they already did what they haven't done insane so it was done beautifully um it's a fantastic fucking movie i loved it then i saw sponge bob movie which you know sponge bob is fucking the show on tv is fucking crazy so this movie is also crazy um uh what would i give that movie. That movie, it's, you know, it's a lot. Spongebob is a lot. You know, there's a lot of maniacal laughing, and then it continues, and it continues. And it's, it's like, you know,

SpongeBob is fucking out there. But my kids loved it. So, I saw that. And then last night, I saw, uh, what the fuck is the name of that movie? Marty Supreme. on a whim, as they say. I was out to dinner with a buddy of mine and my lovely wife, and then he was like, what are you doing after this? She goes, we're going to go see the movies. And I'm looking at Nia going,

are you fucking crazy? Yeah, let's go see you at 10 o'clock. This movie's supposed to be great. And I was going, I'm asleep by 10 o'clock. Like, what? So I got an affigato, a little ice cream and coffee. You know what I mean? And I said, all right, I got some sugar and some caffeine.

to me, let's go fucking see this movie. And I'm glad I did. Another one I really liked. And I guess the lead in that movie also was played Bob Dylan in that movie, which I saw. And I love that one. I'm bad with the names. All right. He's a fucking great. Everybody in the movie was great. Not going to lie, I fell asleep twice just because I'm old, not because it's a bad movie. So anyway, those are the three that I saw. But as far as all three of those, is this thing on was my favorite. And beyond the fact that it was, you know, Will's character is a stand-up. It was beyond that.

It was just a, you know, it was just a great fucking movie. All right, I am babbling here. Let's do the goddamn reads here for the week. All right. Oh, look who it is, everybody. Oh, it's simply safe. You know, if you could stop somebody from breaking in before they got inside, why wouldn't you?

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I was doing this thing where I was coming up with commercials for celebrities. You know? Little John, Tommy Lee, that type of shit. And I guess people like doing this.

So I want to hear what they have to say. If they have an ad that they could, you know, some random celebrity. Maybe this isn't this. Anyways, this person writes, Kodak Jingle. Dear Billy Bumper ad. I would like to pile on to the recent trend

of suggesting a new advertisement for an unlikely pairing. All right. Imagine this. A Kodak ad. No, not some boring emotional ad about capturing important memories of life. No, this ad would be dark, dirty, dank, and disgusting.

Oh my God. Imagine the glitz and glamour of a 90s rave with the hits. hip kids snapping pictures with disposable cameras while sucking on pacifiers. There is some very loud bass and a familiar tune, but it's hard to make out. Okay, I'm in so far. By the time the ad is about to wrap up and some large group of drugged up kids are taking a group photo that the song is clear.

It's a parody of the classic Prodigy Track. smack my bitch up but this time it snapped my picture take my picture while a glorious kodak logo displays across the screen they can even use some catchphrase like a permanent reminder of fading memories kodak all right dude that's about as dark and as edgy as it gets because it's smack my bitch up the lead singer of prodigy is dead you're showing young kids on drugs and in mindsets where they're not in a place to give consent it's all giving Woodstock 99 vibes but you know rage bait and controversy

that's what sells now you know something God damn it I think you got a winner this is how much times have changed when I was a kid like you know Kodak had the coat of chrome film and Phil Simon wrote a Paul Simon wrote a whole fucking song about it Mama don't take my coat of chrome

Mama don't take my coat of chrome away He was like literally For whatever reason nowadays I think he would get sued for that You'd have to get their I don't know licensing or their their blessing But that was the thing back in the day like when you used to have those little Kodak huts,

those little kiosks outside of the malls. And you would pull up in and you would just hand off your film and it was 24-hour development and then you would come back and they would give it to you. And what was funny is as you got older and you started, you know, hooking up with chicks and shit and taking pictures with them and they're fucking naked and stuff a lot of times they wouldn't give you those photos if they were naked but sometimes they would

sometimes they kept them sometimes they didn't but what were you going to say it's the way it was people it's the way it was back in the day all right flying north hey bill on your last podcast you mentioned a place to stop going uh going north you probably already have checked however What? On your last podcast, you mentioned a place to stop going north. You probably already have checked, however. I live in Santa Maria, an hour south of Paso-Roblays. I know you were here a little bit ago on a Harley run as I was talking to Dean about it.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The airport has little traffic unless there are fires. They refuel everything here. Oh, yeah. All right. Good to know. Well, that's the scenic route because I want to fly, you know, up from Camarillo. If I do the straight shot or what, I could just follow the coast if I wanted to.

But I'm very excited to do that. I just haven't had time with the kids and them being off and everything, obviously family first. But I'll get there in January. That's good to know. A person says, on another note, keep doing the breathing. For years, I wanted to share my experiences with you and how much it helped my life in many ways, including breathing through a window maker, a widow maker heart attack with 100% blockage 10 years ago.

The stuff gets better and better. Well, Jesus, that took a left turn. Hope you and yours had a wonderful Christmas. Yeah, I've got to be honest with you, the breathing has really been helping me. And, like, audible sighs. I feel like I'm going to be. driving my wife nuts but i try not to do it when she's around but i just kind of go ah and just breathe in through

the diaphragm and just get yourself out of breathing in the top of your chest fight or flight what the fuck's going to happen next and i also stay away from shit that's going to set me off you know yesterday you know i was driving my kids somewhere and all of a sudden i was just in this crazy crazy crazy traffic. There was an accident or something and there was just no way out and I tried to do a shortcut in like 30 cars had already done the same thing. So then I was even in worse traffic on this side road. And it was just everything that could fucking happen. People doing three point turns in front of me, a bus blocking the intersection through a whole green light. It was like this drive that should have taken 20 minutes and it took the better part of an hour. And I never even came close to

losing my temper and I just kept breathing and I just kept almost making fun of how calm I was just saying out loud like you know if this keeps up I'll tell you right now I'm going to get a little perturbed which is a ridiculous thing to say nobody says that which kept me in a stupid place a silly place and um i don't know it's it's it's been working for me my journal and all of this type of stuff all of this shit that you know before this i'm not doing that that's fucking gay right i would have been that guy what am i going to be happy and be nice to people around me that's gay like i literally thought that all right no gay is you're a man and you have a boyfriend that's gay all right

getting help it's a good thing I just had to redefine some words in my head that's all that's all you know it doesn't take it doesn't take a lot does not take a lot to fucking throw me off here all right let's get to the next one here guest at second wedding

oh dude I mean here's a never ending subject as far as like if you get married a second time like that that should just be like you know you just send a postcard you should not ask your friends to go a second time unless you're a woman and you are horribly abused in the first one but even then now i got to go to the second wedding going like did she do the work she needed to to not pick another fucking abusive person Let's just get something for her, okay?

And then we'll see how this one plays out. Anyway, guest at second wedding. Hey there, Billy, no mates. A couple episodes back, you were ranting on what should slash should not be allowed for people on their second weddings. Finally, I agree with you. Oh, firstly, I think you said finally. Sorry, that was me projecting again. Firstly, I agree with you.

Everybody gets one opportunity for the blowout wedding. After that, you can't expect people to attend again, 100%. In 2018, one of my childhood friends got married, and I flew back from Vancouver, Canada, to my home country of England to attend. By 2020, she was separated from the groom, and by 2023, she was engaged again. By the way, this all happened before her 30th birthday.

The second wedding was scheduled to take place in May, 2025. Initially, I told her I couldn't attend due to it being a lot of time and money for me to fly back to the UK with my wife and our two young kiddos. But eventually, my wife suggested I go by myself for a brief trip back to the motherland and show up for my friend. The second wedding was fucking insane. It was twice, if not three times the size of her first wedding. Hey, if the size of the wedding made for a successful wedding. There would be a lot of fucking sad people out there. Maybe she thought it was bigger.

Or maybe she was trying to block out the first one. Anyway, what I was particularly taking aback by was the fact that I was one of only two guests in attendance that had been to the first one. With the exception of some close family, it was as if the bride had completely erased her pass from just five years prior. that is

in my experience that is narcissists behavior narcissists have a new group of friends they just keep cycling through because people tap out they figure out what they are and then they leave but once again

I'm projecting my own fucking experience on that this person goes on to say I've stayed good friends with the groom from the first wedding and I know that she screwed him over pretty bad with a few financial things including some inheritance from his parentheses at the time recently deceased mother.

He was not the best partner to her either, and it's definitely for the best that they separated. However, to address your initial comments about the balls some people have when they're getting married, I think the sky is the limit. Next time you're in Vancouver, check out Renzulo food market for the best mom and pop Italian assistant. all the best and go fuck yourself well i'll add that to the list yeah um i think your friend might be a little i there was there was a couple of uh i'm not saying they're having a whole new group of friends five years later i i see you're not with the person you with five years later but like a whole new group of friends is uh that's that's that's a pretty big red flag and uh getting

divorced after only two years and taking a portion of your soon-to-be ex-husband's inheritance from his deceased mother is pretty diabolical, even for a woman going in a divorce, because, you know, hell, I have no fury. But you'd think you'd draw the line after that. You know, you draw the line at that, right? You never know. Anyway, anyway, anywho, anywho, plowing ahead here. Tabla video recommendation All right

Dear Billy Bongo Buster Longtime listener from Germany here I've got a video recommendation for your drummer self I myself am a passionate hobby guitar player ever since I got introduced to Indian music through George Harrison many years ago

I've been fascinated by the tabla fast forward to 2025 and I'm taking tabla lessons from an Indian tabla master that happens to be living just down the road from my place. Gotta love the ups of globalization. The other day, I stumbled across a YouTube video and immediately thought of you. It's a short 15-minute report produced by French television about two percussionists. I hope I don't mess up these names, but I know I'm going to...

Zakir Hussein from India, Tabla, and Tata Gynes, G-U-I-N-E-S, with the umlaat over the u from cuba on the conga meeting in paris for the first time and jamming together the level of technical mastery and creativity is just outrageous all right i'm going to spell those names so people can google this z a k i r h-u-s-s-s-s-a-in and then tata t-a-t-g-u-in-es paris just google google that uh besides the playing it's I was also very much enjoyed secure statements about taming this wild beast

called rhythm. Great insights into the mind of a master musician and a chance to practice those French phrases of yours. Anyway, what do you call a drummer with half a brain? Gifted. Oh, the drummer jokes. Just never stop.

Thank you very much for your great work. I hope you keep it up for many years to come. Enjoy life with your family and go fuck yourself. I'm definitely going to check that out. Indian drummers are some of the best drummers on the planet, and it's amazing. They learn how to sing rhythm and speak it before they actually play it as opposed to the way I learned the Western way,

which is you learn this very mechanical way. And now all of these years later, 35 years later, since 37 years ago I started playing drums, I am now finally trying to sing rhythms and play them as you know as this exercise and it's like very difficult for me super frustrating but also like each time i do it i feel like this part of my brain is opening up and it's making me play better and really listen to what i'm playing and as opposed to i've always said like i i feel like i i was doing drums rather than playing them um if that makes any sense and uh so i i would think

if I was a drummer taking tabla lessons just to learn how from a true not from some white guy that just bought one take it from an Indian dude who learned over there

the right way like I would think that that would help your you know drum set drumming just having that information in your brain I don't know

I could be wrong but anyway this is also like the whole fucking road that I've been going down um you know old Billy Yoga Matt

and just fucking not being a stressed out lunatic anymore oh you know I forgot to bring up in that Marty Supreme movie the two things that really blew me away in the movie was one of the actors in there is one of the guys on Shark Tank

and he does a fucking great job I'm forever sticking up for acting because everybody thinks it's fucking easy, you know, because they see somebody that doesn't act, go in and do a good job. But a lot of times, they're playing like a version of themselves. You know what I mean? Or they're playing themselves. So at that point, all you got to do is memorize the lines. And if you're natural, you make it sound believable. But like, you know, the true actors, they're like different. Like, this kid who's in this movie, like, there's not an ounce of that

Bob Dylan character that he was fucking doing in this new thing. And to me, that's like truly acting. Like those are two different people and you're the same person playing both and you are two different fucking people. But anyways, the Shark Tank guy, I gotta give it up. The guy was fucking great.

And then probably my favorite character in the movie and performance was Gwyneth Paltrow, which I was a little bummed out this year because I thought she retired. And one of my favorite things in this business is I root for people that retired. anybody who can walk away from this fucking business like on their terms like i decided i'm out you know

i'm not fucking like flip wilson you know johnny carson probably got pushed out but like when he left he left he never came back i thought that was cool um like ultim like r em didn't even let people know it was their last show they said yep we're done i think we're done done. 2010 or whatever. They did their last show. Nobody knew it but them. And then that was it. And they were fucking done. I think they came together one other time, but it was for like a benefit, which I don't give a shit. But like, they're like, yeah, no more albums, no more touring.

We're fucking done. And I would give any amount of money to see a documentary on somebody that was performing at that level what it is like to come out the, other side and the whole the craziness of like you know going to the studio write an album complete the album promote the album go on tour get off tour take a week off go back into the studio write another album promote the album go on tour to finally get off of that and come home and just sit down on your couch or on your back porch. And I just can't imagine, like, if I was to stop, I mean, I got a lot of great memories,

but there would be, and I would be amazed at how fast it's gone by, but I would also look back and be, there would be, I'm not going to lie to you, there'd be a part of me thinking like, what the fuck was that? Like, why did I have the need to do that? Like, that was insane. Whatever that fucking need was, that void, that just took me around the world. I had all these great experiences,

and I met all of these people. But it was also like, it was weird. it was like I was living a dream but I was also running from shit I don't know maybe it's because I'm 57 you know sliding into 60

I'm starting to think about the end like how does this end not my life I plan on living to 100 if I can't but like as far as like how do I just gracefully get off this ride you know just like the merry-go-round

and just step off without doing a face plant or falling backwards and cracking my skull. Like, how exactly does this happen? God knows I've got enough hobbies to keep myself busy. If I stop doing this shit, all I would do other than, you know, hanging out with my kids, which is my number one priority,

because I'm not going to work as much as I have in the, past. I think that Broadway play, being away, that was it for me as far as like this showbiz shit. And now that I've finally calmed down and gotten rid of my anger, which I know was an ongoing project here, like I'm going to just, you know, always going to do stand-up and stuff. But I am going to like be much more, I don't know what.

Like, I'm not going to be, you know, my whole career, people are going like, dude, how do you got time to do all of this shit? I don't want to be that guy anymore. I have been home for most of this last half of the year. I mean, not gladi. I'm still, you know, I got a production company, so I've been writing my ass off and everything during the day. I'm still productive, but just not having to go to LAX, you know, fly somewhere.

give people a show and then come back and take like a day and a half to get fucking acclimated to the way that would stir up my ADD running around I'm kind of looking forward to like

I don't know the final third of this this fucking experience I feel like I feel like when I get to 60 I'm into the final you know act three of being a comedian and doing all of that shit and uh i plan on that being doing like a victory lap you know fucking survived it i got where i wanted to be you know i didn't die on the fucking road and uh you know made it out

for the most part unscathed because you know uh not to bring you guys down but when i look back and just the amount of fucking people, you know, I'm being at that age. I'm looking at the pictures on the wall, my friends, people I've met and everything in my office, and there's a lot of fucking people that aren't here anymore. So, you know, do you know what death really bugged me? Of how, like, uneventful it was?

I don't know why. Chuck Woolery. Dude, Chuck Willery was the fucking man. I'll be back in two and two, and everybody loved that guy. everybody loved that guy and he just passed away and that was just like it was like nothing has like that was one of the most legendary game show hosts of all time great looking guy he made the Rolex presidential like he brought that to the mainstream

everybody was like what's what kind of watch is that what the fuck is that and uh I don't know. He, I guess it kind of made sense with his personality. He was so fucking smooth. I guess when he died like it was just a chill, smooth thing. But I was kind of like, I thought he deserved more. There's one for you. Give me a top three artists or celebrities, whatever the fuck they are, that died.

And you thought they deserved way more fucking attention than they got. Like, I was sitting there going, like, that was fucking Chuck Woolery, everybody. I'm the only person right now. Like, he was like the, you know, like Ozzy Osbourne, he got the send-off that he fucking deserved. That was one that as sad as it was that he passed away. The fact that he got to do that final show, and not only all of those fans, all of those musicians got to go, there and say goodbye and all of that, not that they were aware they was going to be gone a few weeks later, but like, you know, like, that was, that was like, that was an Aussie worthy sendoff,

I felt. And like, this might be crazy, but is, is Chuck Woolery? I mean, that guy, I'm not saying he's the Ozzy Osbourne, a fucking game show host, but he's definitely in the Mount Rushmore. of them. Maybe because game shows are everybody's dirty little secret, like you don't want to admit that you watch a game show. I love a fucking game show. I mean, I still Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune. I mean, that's the greatest back-to-back game show combination ever.

One makes you feel smart, and the other one puts you right back in your place. You know, it's a nice level. You know, you give as good as you get in that hour. unless it's celebrity jeopardy then it's usually fucking it's easy um but anyway I'm just fucking yeah I am babbling at this point all right I gotta go uh

taking the kids to the batting cages all right that's what you do that's what you do when you're a fucking an old dad you still do the old shit I'm not gonna go take them to some fucking I don't even know what they do do they even leave the house anymore like do you need to you can go around the world with the goddamn tablo oh geez it's all changed hasn't it bill it's almost like you're fucking 57 years old all right that's it everybody um congratulations to the patriots

bruin's got to hang in there going for a little uh rough streak here got the shit kicked out of us by the fucking Canadians and i you know but i am psyched about that rivalry though because the canadians got a new great villain on his way up he's only 21 years years old Slavkovsky and he was being a cunt and

Nikita Zedora came over and was like trying to punch him in the head and he was punching right back I mean the

ref was in the middle but like I was a 21 year old kid this fucking guy is a giant 30 years old this man comes over and grabs you

he didn't give a fuck and I'm like this guy is this guy's gonna be fun to not like you gotta have those like I feel I feel bad for Canadian fans right now.

You know, like, I don't think we have, like, any hateable guys. Like, we don't, like, now that Mar-Shan's gone, like, what do you do with all of that? Anyway, all right, that's the podcast. I'm going to fucking bow out at this point. Thank you for listening. Go fuck yourselves, and I will check in on you on Thursday. Is that New Year's Day? I don't know.

All right, I'll see you.