Monday Morning Podcast - Flag Shorts, AC/DC in Vegas, Weight Loss Tactics | Monday Morning Podcast 8-3-26

Episode Date: August 3, 2026

Bill rambles about American flag shorts, AC/DC in Vegas, and weight loss tactics.Zip Recruiter: Try it for free today at http://www.ZipRecruiter.com/BURRHims: To get simple, online access to personalized, affordable care for ED, and more, visit Hims.com/BURRSquareSpace: Head to http://www.SquareSpace.com/BURR for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, use code BURR to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.SimpliSafe: Right now, you can get 50% off a new SimpliSafe system at http://www.SimpliSafe.com/BURRShipStation: Get started with ShipStation today and get sixty days free at http://www.ShipStation.com code BURRSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, what's going on? It's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday, August 3rd, 2006. Six, six, six. What's going on? How are you? Oh, geez, how's it going, man? Far out, man. I just got back from the road last night.

Did three casinos in a row. Where the fuck was I this time? I was Silicon Valley. down to Pichunga and then over to Vegas. And what a fucking run that was. It was so much fun. Great crowds, every single one. Each one was different.

You know, I was up in wine country, fucking startup, private equity world mixed in with just regular people trying to figure out when wine country start up, private equity people will feel like they control enough of society so they can let them. the rest of us try to earn a fucking living. Those people were mixed in there too. Then I went down to Pichanga, and that was a fucking hilarious crowd, like strong MAGA crowd.

Those people are hilarious. Just a completely different vibe, you know? I went down there, and I got up in the morning to go to the gym, and I went down, and I saw it. You know, you look around the casino to try to get, you kind of, whether you're trying, not you kind of get a vibe of what the crowd's going to be and uh i went down to uh the gym and it was one of

those things we had to go out of the the casino and then you're like outside you're walking by the pool and then you go over to the gym and first of all the uh changa casino was gorgeous it's like in the valleys of like this mountain on the other side of the ocean it's like California is like one of the most gorgeous like states i've ever been in it's just insane. And it's really sad that the whole state has been politicized. It's fucking, if we could just get, like, when I was a kid,

everybody wanted to go to California. Well, these ghost girls are here. All that stupid shit. You're just like, oh my God, it's fucking paradise. It's still paradise. Like, I don't know. I don't want all these fucking talking heads. How they mind fuck you into thinking

that this is not a wonderful state is fucking beyond me. I don't. I don't understand it. So I go down there, right? And I come out of the fucking elevator. I go through the double doors. I go down. And the first thing as I see,

as I see this knucklehead in like fucking camouflage cargo shorts vaping at like fucking nine in the morning, standing next to his friend who's wearing American flag shorts and flip-flops. And I'm like going, all right, okay, we'll just, you know, we'll see if I see a few more and say all right so there's going to be some of that maga shit here

support the troops America right immediately like that was what their two outfits were and I immediately just thought it was like I don't know it's like sad and hilarious that like patriotism has become just buying merch you know the same way protesting

has become like tweeting or saying something on social media like and everybody thinks that we live in a democracy it's like go out and try and protest see what happens. You got to get like a permit to protest. They tell you where you can protest, when you can protest.

They keep you away from the media. If there's any fucking legit media left. And then eventually something provokes something and then the cops beat the shit out of everybody and you go home. Like that doesn't sound like America to me. It sounds like a fucking like a police state, right? And just to look at this fucking poor bastard

thinking he's patriotic wearing, he's wearing American flag shorts. It's like, dude, have you thought about the fact that you're sharding on the flag? Like, why would you want your dick, balls, an asshole on the flag? Like, if you're patriotic. And what kind of an asshole makes American flag shorts?

I get a hat or, like, a shirt, you know what I mean? Look, if you want to, it's America. You want to put your junk on the flag, go ahead and do it. But, like, I don't know if that's a patriotic act. I think it's, I don't know, I think you might even want to step back. Let me ask you this. If somebody put their fucking junk

on anything, on a door handle, would you want to go touch it? This is a flag. You got your junk on it. Anyway, take a piss, the dribble. The dribble, you got the dribble on the flag.

It's just fucking bizarre. So anyway, so we go out and we do the show. And Dean Del Rey's opening for me, and he does some joke, and it's making fun of MAGA. And initially, it gets a, laugh. And then after the laugh dies down, there's this large, Buh! So, you know, I was really proud of myself because the old me, I would have gone up

there and I would have gone right after those people and blah, blah, blah, blah. And I've, finally, you know, one of the great things about getting older is, you know, you have a better understanding and you're chiller and you can kind of like find a middle ground. So I was able to go up there and sort of refocus the room off of politics. back on to our common enemy, which is these nerds that are making these fucking apps and closing the door behind themselves and no one else can make any money in the business

and they take over the whole fucking business, which fucks over the working man on either side. That's what I was able to try to convey that. And then after I did that, if I made fun of anything politically, I already, you know, and I don't come at either side. like maliciously because I would like to be heard.

You know, I like the point that I'm trying to make to be heard rather than, you know, let me tell you something you fucking jerk off. Like nobody listens after that. They're just thinking about what they're going to say. They're insult. But, you know, like, hey, you know, I get that this is your guy and everything. But, you know, I'm not saying, you know, that conservative thought is wrong.

There's a time for that. There's a time for liberal. There's time to loosen up, time to tighten up. That's all there is. Okay? But I think we can all agree that, you know, allowing the roundup people to spray even more roundup, now that we know it causes cancer,

and to allow them to do that and then say that you can't even sue them now if you get cancer is not the right decision to make for the people. Can we agree on that? All right. You know, maybe we can't. Well, it depends on the color or the tie, the person that did it.

All right. What are you going to do? Sorry, drinking a little bit of water here. So I was able to just kind of go up and I ended up having a great show and I really liked the crowd. Even though clearly half of them, I didn't line up with them politically.

I still liked them. It was still cool people, you know? They were just a little sheltered. That's all. It's why you travel. It's why you have a nice, wide variety of friends, you know? Then hopefully you shut the fuck up and you listen to them,

which is something I've been working on my whole life. Shutting the fuck up and listening. Anyway, then we went to Vegas after that. And I decided I was going to cheat on my no coffee diet. And I wanted to get off the strip and go out and get a car. I want to go down to casino coffee because they have like Starbucks. And it's all, that's just chemicals. It's not even coffee.

It's fucking horrific. And then they pour into a plastic cup, so I have chemicals with microplastics. And I'm, you know, I'm going to go out on limb here and say, I think I'm dumb enough. I don't need to add that to my diet, right? So we ended up going down to Old Vegas, which I have not been there in like 20 fucking years.

And we went to this place. Oh my God. I literally just had the name of it. It'll come to me in a second. Something U.S. or us. This amate a fucking Bill. Come on. I'm hitting pause. I'm going to get you in the name.

Hang on. Okay, I looked it up. Public us or public U.S. And it's farmed a table and they're actually not lying. A lot of people say that and they're full of shit. And all I can tell you is that they had these green onions on top of the potatoes and they were so delicious because they were actually picked when they were ripe, ripe rather than pick too soon

and air quote ripen up on the truck that I was eating them almost separately. They were so fucking good and amazing coffee and all of that. And then I just walked with Dean and them and Kenny. We just walked down around there where they used to have all these great motels

and for some reason they bulldozed all of them and they kept some of the signs up. But one of them they kept, I guess some billionaire bought all of them And then he just let people move into these hotel rooms and start these little stores. It was really fucking cool. There was one left.

But I think the billionaire guy died and then somebody, you know, decided to cash in as they always do. And then we just walked through like all of like the old Vegas and all of that. You know, Golden Nugget, the famous pioneer casino. Didn't even go in them. Just like walked down there.

And all the people down there were cool. It was fucking hot as hell. But it's super dry heat. Like you literally felt like you were just like in a sauna. a dry sauna and I don't know like the older I get the more I just I don't know what it is and I just been gravitating to this slower pace and I finally realized like the last 20 years I've been up on the strip I've been fucking hanging around in like Times Square but um anyway I was you know we did that in the morning and then I came back and uh my buddy uh Frankie Perez from

Frankie Perez and the All-Niters over at Treasure Island. They got the best fucking show in Vegas. I'm doing another gig out there, this private gig in September, so I'm going to go check out that show with Nia. Just an incredible show. If the name sounds familiar,

he's been sitting in on Jimmy Kimmel with his band, with Jimmy Kimmel's band, and I hung out with him, and I'm so psyched for him that he's got this show going, and we smoked a cigar, we chopped it up, you know a couple of his friends hanging out and then i went back i did my show and it just so happened

that acdc was performing and dean knows a couple guys in the band so um it was where the raiders so like the people at the raiders like hooked us up with these tickets so we literally finished our show got in a van you know acdc started at like the same time so we we were walking in like mid-concert and I swear to God, dude, it was like a fucking, like one of those weird dreams you have. Like, I was in like a parking lot

and then I just walked through a curtain and all of a sudden there was 20,000 people and ACDC was there and they started playing a whole lot of Rosie. Like that's basically what happened. Like as we were walking, we got out of the van. We hear the crowd cheering and then we're,

we go through security and we're walking towards the curtain to walk in like right by the stage and you just hit banana na na na na and the fucking place is going nuts it was so fucking weird to just walk in on that high energy of a concert and a crowd going that crazy it was like getting on a treadmill that was already going like full speed and trying to like run on it you're just trying to get caught up and dude first of all the rhythm section in that band is fucking incredible right now And this is the first time I've seen their newer drummer Matt Log, L-A-U-G, I hope I'm saying that right, playing with them.

And, dude, he plays it just like the record. All the Phil's, every crash, I couldn't believe it. You know? Like, Phil Rudd is Phil Rudd. He's always going to be the guy, right? But like, even Phil, you know, plays it a little bit different when you see it live. This guy was playing just like the record, Chris Cheney on bass, and then Stevie Young playing Malcolm's parts.

And dude, they were so fucking tight. It was ridiculous. And Angus was shredding. And Brian was up there, as always, in like a great mood. But I got to tell you, dude, it was so fucking loud. Like, we were right in the, you know, standing room down the front. With all of these people going crazy. Dude, it was so fucking loud like my pants were moving.

I was wearing jeans. Just for the record, I wasn't. dressed elegantly. Wasn't wearing anything flowing. I had fucking jeans on and they were moving. And I was there for like a song and a half because they played like a whole lot of Rosie into Let There Be Rock.

And I stayed through 90% of Let There Be Rock. And I had earplugs in and I could already feel like I was doing, you know, my ears are shot from all of the stuff that I've done and seeing ACDC. I saw them for the first time 40 years before. I was 18 years old on the Who Made. Hoot Tour. Now I'm seeing him at 58. And it was so fucking loud, I had to like back up, move further into the crowd. And then finally, I was just like to Kenny, I was like, dude, you know, if it's too loud, you're too old, I'm too fucking old. And then it just struck me as

funny that like, Brian is 78 and Angus is 71 and it's just so fucking hilarious that there's these two guys in their 70s still making all that racket, you know? Like when you're old, you're supposed to be like, you're settled down, you know? But I can tell you, without a doubt, without a doubt, Brian Johnson and Angus Young never in their life have been like,

hey man, can you do me if you can, can you turn that down for a second? It's like, you know, you haven't meet somebody who has like a cast iron stomach they can just eat anything? Those guys' ears, I don't know how the fuck they do it. And, you know, so then the encore comes and like they play like TNT

and then it's going in to those for those about to rock and it's like I know the cannons have to be way louder than they're already playing and it's just like I just I'm too fucking old my ears are too shot

you know I want to be able to keep playing drums and flying helicopters and shit I can't do this to my ears so I was way out back in the parking garage just listening it was still awesome and they shot off the fucking cannons and I swear to

God, like, I am like 500 feet into a parking lot, and we're like the TSA-looking security thing, like the women jumped when the fucking can't run off. Like, ACDC is just like, it's just been, the accelerator has just been pinned to the floor for 50 fucking years, and they can still do it. Like, the concert was fucking amazing. I just, it's mind-blowing. So anyway, Dean ended up telling me that during the fucking encore, one of the cannons tipped down. It was like pointing at the stage and like whatever they shoot off came out.

There's like footage because I was telling my buddy buddy. He goes, dude, I just was watching that on Instagram. So I missed all of this shit. And Brian is like yelling pointing at it. And I'm thinking, well, if it shoots off again, does it light it on fire? The stage? and then I was just thinking like the most rock and roll death

ever for a fan you know how did he die he got shot by one of ACDC's cannons during for those about to rock it would be like an urban myth do you hear about that guy

and then there'd always be somebody dude I went to fucking school with that guy I remember that guy dude he was a good shit loved ACDC They sent his mother a box set after his untimely death. So, anyway, that was my fourth time seeing ACDC. I saw him on the Who Made Who Tour.

I saw them on blow up your video. And then when the Razor's Edge came out, it was like the 80s was over and my youth was over. I had turned 22. I at least considered my youth being over. I was still like a freshman in college. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. And I just didn't have time to go to concerts.

I was kind of freaking out. Like nothing was happened. I had no girlfriend. I was just, I was still living at home. I was a fucking loser. So, and then I, you know, I started getting my college thing going. And I started doing comedy. And then I just didn't get to see him again until like 2008,

the Black Ice Tour. and then I saw them last night. So I saw them in 86, 88, like 07 or 08, and then 2026. But like there was just so many memories when I was thinking, I saw them one time at the Worcester Center and one time at the Providence Civic Center. I can't remember which at this point. And I remember the people

I went with I remember Oh, Providence No, no, Providence was the first time I told you that story That was the first time I ever saw anybody doing cocaine That fucking kid was wired out of his mind As I pulled in and he came out to the window

He was like, He was freaking out It was like I was in Yellowstone And a bear was coming up Except the thing was on cocaine Cocaine bear, holy shit, wasn't that a movie? Um, so to just go back and see them after all of those years was fantastic. And then I wasn't sure like how I was going to feel.

Cliff's not in the band. Well, clip doesn't tour. Phil Rudd doesn't tour. And I was wondering how I was going to feel about that. And it was fucking, they were fucking amazing. The rhythm section is doing exactly what they've always done, which is it's this foundation for, you know, Bonn and then Brian and Angus to stand on. It was amazing.

And Angus played like three different guitars in the time I was in there. He had the red one for a whole lot of rosy. Then he had the back and black one with the white pickup guard for Let There Be Rock. And he switched up his solo too. He played all this other stuff before he did the dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun da da da da da da da da.

He still went down on the ground and was flopping around. I was like concerned. I'm like, this guy's 71 years old. Is he going to get back up? up again and he fucking pops right back up. I'm laughing because it's so absurd that those guys, Angus and Brian, can still go that fucking hard at that age.

It's unfa- Everybody talks about fucking Mick Jagger still running around, which is amazing. But the sheer volume and the fucking pace that ACDC still plays at, I got to give them the nod. I got to give them the nod. So, you know, and it was like what every great concert always makes me do.

It makes me be in awe of musicians and it makes me want to go home and, you know, play drums and noodle around on a guitar and play along to a record with my little high five radio record player I got out here. So anyways, thanks to everybody, you know, at Park. MGM and the Raiders that were able to, Raiders organization that were able to just sneak us in for the last couple songs. Dude, you know it was fucking hilarious as I was, I was standing there like, that's the closest I've ever been because they were like, you want to be up in the suite?

Oh, you want to be on the floor. I was like, dude, I want to be on the fucking floor. Which I immediately regretted when my pants started moving. Dean was telling me that like, you know, these people, forever, you would have this wall of marshal stacks, but only one of them. one would have a head and it would be on but the rest of it was for like the look of like yeah man fucking it was so loud acdc that they have like eight heads all all the fucking amps are on um so anyway i was down there and there was this couple next to me and they were in a fight

i don't know how they were like in like their 20s and it was fucking hilarious like as loud as it was i could read her lips she looked over because i was like fascinated i was just like how do the fuck could you be in a fight right now? It's like, guys, you have the whole rest of your life or ever long long this relationship lasts to fight. Your front row, your front section anyway, right? At fucking A-D. They may never come around again. What the fuck are you doing? Or maybe this is the end of relationship. If you can be like fucking in that front group at an ACDC concert and you're still in an argument, maybe you're not compatible. But I don't know. It was loud. I don't know what was going on.

But I kind of feel like it was the guy's fault. I thought he was, like, pouting a little bit. I don't know why. But the whole thing just struck me is hilarious. But I'm so glad I got to see them. And I was just, we were just like driving away. I'm like, dude, that's like, it's just the greatest rock band ever with the greatest logo.

And I would say the greatest merch. Like, I'm trying to think of an ACDC T-shirt I didn't like. They just fucking, it's just, it's simple. It's to the point. You know? I don't know. Sorry. I'm still fucking geeking out.

That was like the highlight of the trip. And I remember when we were, we got in the van to drive over there after we had just done this killer show, the fucking crowd was amazing at the Park MGM. And then we walk off stage, we get in the van and we're going over to go see ACD. and I looked over at Dean and I just go, dude, how fucking ridiculous are our lives? And he goes, dude, I think about that every day. I go, yes, it's fucking ridiculous. I don't think I will ever forget. As much as you want to be there for the whole concert, walking in mid-concert to a fuck

at that energy, dude, it was like you took mushrooms and then they just hit. It was just, it was fucking unreal. and I love seeing all like the older people my generation that they're still going it was weird I had that one point in my life when I was in my 40s when it was hard to admit that I was getting old or I was old or whatever and now I'm like kind of proud of it and I and I look around when I see people you know my age and I see the faded tattoos the tramp stamps and the fucking you know the tribal tattoos and shit the fucking people with bad skin

because we were out in the sun too much in the 80s and it was just like, I'm proud of it. I'm like, yeah, look, we're still fucking here. We still love this music. I thought it was only me. I thought I was the only person who kept trying to get out of, it's almost a gravitational pull of a planet

to try to break away from the music that you listen to as a kid. And I just think it's because when you're a kid, you got your whole life ahead of you. You know, and everything's so exciting. You learn to drive a car, your first beer, your first kiss, you lose your virginity. All of that is just so fucking vivid. Then that music is playing in the background.

There's like, there's nothing like that happens in your 50s. That's going to be as cool as that shit. So, um, anyway, anyway, it was, uh, yeah, it was fucking awesome. still fucking still grinning i can't i cannot fucking believe it it just it was awesome anyway uh plowing ahead here uh i'm recording this a little early so i don't think i've gotten any of the reads yet so i'm going to have to hit pause here and then i'll come i don't know why i always tell you guys i'm hitting pause i don't even know if you even fucking notice when i do it but uh i'll be back to finish this thing up but you might find like a drop of energy now that i'm back uh

but like i don't know just reliving that jee Jesus, fucking Christ. I've never been to a concert where my pants were fucking like... I felt like it goes in one of those military videos where they like they explode a fucking... an atom bomb and a test, you know, and then that fucking... You see the light and all of that,

and then the wave of it, everybody gets knocked on their ass. All right, Bill, we get it. It was loud. All right. Hang on a second. All right, and I'm back. I didn't talk about the Dodgers signed this fucking ace Tarrick Scooball

however is ski ball, scoobol, scroo ball, I don't know how to say his name. I guess he was the candidate for Sy Young Award. This was a fucking amazing pitcher. And the little team that could, the Dodgers, back-to-back champions have now signed that guy. And it's like, all right, well, there you go. they effectively ended the baseball season on August 1st. So I want to be the first to say,

congratulations to the World Series champs, the Los Angeles Dodgers. Woo! Sports! Anyway, it wasn't enough that you got that fucking the modern day Babe Ruth from the Angels.

That's not enough. Let's keep adding more guys. I don't know. I'm weird. I like to see the best guys play against each other, not to have them all on one team and kick the shit out of a bunch of fucking first graders. But, you know, I'm weird that way. I'm weird that way. I don't understand, you know, with the NFL where you have parity, you know, and teams can kind of come out of nowhere. Like, take like the Seattle Seahawks winning the Super Bowl this year,

and they kicked the shit out of my team. That's great for football. Seattle had kind of dropped off there like out of nowhere. A couple of moves, a new coach. Like anybody can win it. Like I kind of feel like that's the best for fans, not to have like, I guess it's startup money.

Like I keep hearing that awful word or that combination word, private equity, and I'm hearing that now more and more in sports. And it's just like, do they have to ruin everything? I mean, not going to lie, sports was already ruined. You know, with the fucking DJs and that's another first, ah! And all of that screaming and yelling.

They completely have, like, taken the crowd out of the game. They're, like, afraid of silence. Like, I don't understand. Or, like, I think they're just overthinking it. It's like, it's kind of fun to go to a game. something happens. And then as they, you know, measure, you know, to see what yard line the ball's on,

you can look at your friend, you can talk about the game rather than having somebody fucking run out with a T-shirt gun. But that's kind of what they've turned it into. It's weird. Like, let's just, we got sports fans. Let's try to appeal to the casual fan.

Let's try to make somebody who's not even into the game, come to the fucking game, and somewhere along the line, I don't even know what the fuck I'm watching anymore. I'm still going to watch baseball because I absolutely love it. it. But

I don't know. I just think that's the most boring. I don't know. Do you want to be in a world where Magic Johnson and Larry Bird are on the same fucking team? How great was it that they played against each other? And they got excited and would circle the game. They'd meet twice in the regular season

and they would circle the game on the calendar and they'd get fucking up for it. And they wanted to kill each other. That was just a regular season. Now they're friends. They've joined forces. I don't know. My teams have done it,

and I find it just as boring. I don't think it's a good thing. But I don't think it's bad for people that like to talk shit, you know, and go like, yeah, bitches, we got everybody. You know, those people, they watch sports so they can talk shit. They never talk the game.

They just sort of talk shit. But if you're like a fan sports because you like competition, this is not, this is not where it's at. I don't know what this is. This is just buying a championship. It's weird. Strange thing. But congratulations to Dodger fans. You don't have to watch another game for the rest of the year. You just, you got it. You did it. You know who approves it? The box stores. I remember a long time ago, Doug Stanhope had this fucking hilarious bit about those late 90s, early 2000, $200 million free agent juggernaut Yankee teams and saying being a Yankee fan is like rooting for Walmart.

And it really is because they kind of turned themselves into this box store and everybody else was like a mom and pop store. And then baseball does nothing about it. So then the Red Sox started doing it. and then all of a sudden it was like the Yankees were spending $200 million, the Red Sox were spending $180 million, and it wasn't good for baseball. And then like they started scheduling the Red Sox and Yankees. I swear to God, it felt like we had 30 regular season home games,

and they kind of just burned the whole thing out. And I don't feel like it's ever gotten back to what it was. It's like not only were the players on steroids, or a lot of them were on steroids. Like the free agent market was on stair, the whole thing, the salary cap was on steroids. The whole thing was on fucking steroids. And now it's sort of the, I don't know,

the fallout of that. And now I feel like, you know, the Dodgers are doing it now. I don't know, it wasn't good when the Yankees did it. It wasn't good when the Red Sox started doing it too. and it's not good now. I don't know. I don't understand it. Like, if I was running the league,

I would be like, yeah, I think you got enough guys. Like, what are Tiger fans supposed to do? At least, you know, they're not, you know, at least they had that guy. That's a reason to go there. I don't know. Like, I think Charlotte Hornet fans should have got to enjoy Kobe Bryant playing for their team.

Rather than him be, eh, that team sucks. I'm not going to fucking play for them. And then the NBA goes, okay. I don't know. I always got to bite my tongue out of respect because he's passed away and everything.

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Named after Bird, it's a band from Wales, and they were fantastic. So this person informs me. He says, Bill, on the 27th, you mentioned the Budgie album, Never Leave Your Friend Behind. Please know that Metallica covered the budgie song Bread Fan during the peak of their 90s power. I did not know that. My buddy had a Camaro nicknamed the Death Rider

with 12-inch subwoofers in the back and we would blast this song as we tirelessly cruised the streets of Mansfield and Foxborough looking for something to do. Thanks for the memories. Dude, that's a vivid and relatable picture. That's what we used to do. You get a 12-pack or a case of beer

and you just drove around town drinking. And then you would run into another carload of kids who were also drinking and then you'd pick a spot that was cleared out near the woods and you would just start drinking and partying and doing whatever until the cop showed up.

Check it out. I guess this is a link to Metallica doing a cover. That's amazing. I heard Metallica is going to be playing this sphere. I'm afraid to go to this sphere. I just feel like once you see a concert there and it's that fucking insane. Like, it's just going to kind of ruin every other concert.

But that's not true because I've seen a movie in IMAX and if I just go see a movie on a regular screen, I still go. I don't know. The sphere. All right, facial recognition. From India. Oh, I love that country, man. I had such a fucking great time when I went there.

The people, like, the just amazing ball breakers when I went there, They were funny as hell. I don't know. Me and my wife, we both went there, and there was something about that place that we really just loved. And the food was fucking insane. So good.

Hey, Billy Bubblebutt. Sorry, I've been doing leg day. Hey, I'm doing leg day, okay? Okay, long time listener from India. You regularly talk about government scanning our faces and how they may misuse it. Well, I am here to tell you exactly how this is happening in India.

Oh, my God. Just when you thought it was going to be a light podcast. Here we go, everybody. So India is going through a really tough time right now. We have an authoritarian government right now which has fucked this country over in every way, which way possible. Anyway, students have been protesting in New Delhi since the last month on paper leaks in some of the biggest exams of the country.

What? Anyway, students have been protesting in New Delhi since last one month on paper leaks in some of the biggest exams of the country. I don't quite understand that. All right, so they're protesting. Okay, first the government tried to end the protest by force, but that backfired. Hey, shout out to the people of India. Because they stop protests over here by force and we just go home.

We've got to get that back again. So fucked up. As more and more students join the protests across the country. Oh, so more people join. So now the government, because right now, I feel like Minnesota is showing this country what we need to be doing. So now the government has changed its strategy. This will sound like an episode of Black Mirror. First, they have installed the face recognition cameras at the site of the protest

and are making a list of everyone who is participating in the protest. Can you cover your face using various government database? including face scanning at airports. They are detaining children without any reason and threatening their parents of consequences. They have stopped all water and food supplies to the protest sites and are going in the restaurants and taking out the bank details of everyone

who has been sending food to the protest site. It's really disheartening to see the people we have elected treatise like enemies. Why does all of this seem familiar? and seem like it's going to happen soon. We're not this far, but like, in my country, both political parties have abandoned the people while lying to them that they're still fighting for them

and blaming each other. You know, they just sounded a thing over here with like, yeah, like Roundup. It's just fucking crazy. They're like killing people. They're literally like serial killers. While they're saying, like, you know, I'm here to work for you.

And they're not. Anyway, from all over the country, people from all over the country have sent food and other supplies to the children sitting at the protest site. This whole thing reminds me of Tiananmen Square in China and 1984 by George Orwell, yeah. Anyway, we have an absolute abhorrent face of the authority which was chosen in hopes that they will work for us. Instead, they are using everything at their disposal to suppress us. they have even shot appellate guns at children. Ultimately, the government has backed down and the education minister has resigned,

but people fear that now authorities will file false cases against anyone and everyone who were involved in the protest to ensure that nothing of this sort will happen again. Yeah, you just got to, like, this is why people who get arrested and get beat up and get hurt, they're like heroes because they sacrifice the quality of their own life for the betterment of regular people so everybody has to have the courage to just keep going back and just show them that

none of their threats mean anything and then hopefully you eventually defeat them and then you don't forget about the people that got detained and you get them out of jail i mean it's like it's fucking insane and uh I just don't understand, like, people who get into power and they just want to hurt people. It's just, it's maddening. And then, you know, the people at the top, you know, they run religions and shit like that. And none of them seem to be living like they are worried about eternal damnation. I just think the whole, the whole fucking, once you look at the history of the world,

how long the world existed before human beings even came around. I mean, at best we're an afterthought of whoever made us. At best. Or we're just like the latest thing that's here. And then, you know, an asteroid's going to hit or, you know, we're going to fucking put too much carbon in the atmosphere and just eventually we're all going to fucking die off. And then the planet will chill for a billion years.

All the plastics will be gone and it'll just something else will come out of the puddles. I don't know. Well, my heart goes out to you guys over there, and I hope you keep protesting, and I hope everybody around the world, if that's the way you live and, you know, this... Everybody gets, like, one life. They should be able to be, like, have shelter, find love,

and be able to afford foods and protect their family. Like, that's kind of all most people want. Nobody's out there going, I want a yacht, too, and a hot air balloon, and to be able to shoot off rockets like these fucking billionaires, people just want to be able to just fucking live. It's weird. I actually think that these people in power,

like, because they're so invested in power and they feel like it's going to bring them happiness, but it doesn't. Like hurting other people does not bring you that warm, fuzzy feeling. I think they're actually jealous of so-called common people, or as I like to call them, enlightened. People who can just be. be happy with what they have and just enjoy their wife and family, their husband, whatever,

you know, whatever your deal is. And they just want you to feel the way they do or just be mad at them just so you're paying attention to them so you can feed their needs. I don't know. It's fucking bizarre. And I really do think if there was somebody coming back, he would have come back by now, or she or it or whatever, they. So I don't know.

I don't know about any of that. Anyway, where the fuck did I leave off? Running my yap again. Anyways, so if someone asks you, what's the harm in government and companies collecting our data? Nobody has said that. We just talk about it online, but nobody does anything about it.

We're not organized. We're too busy fighting with one another. Well, one harm is that if you are under an authoritarian government, they will use your mobile location to check if you went anywhere, they don't want you to. Yeah, this is exactly what you think they would do. Cameras at every corner, constantly monitoring what you are up to. What makes it even worse?

If that's possible, is that they are using AI for it, which can seamlessly keep track of everyone all at once. You can check this out if you like on YouTube. Just type Cockroach Protest India. Yeah, sorry to bum you out. No, no. It's uplifting to know that there's people protesting and that you actually, you know, had some sort of a victory. Anyways, really big fan.

The person says, I listen to all your podcasts, which are genuinely funnier than most comedy specials. Thank you these days. And your life podcasts are legit stand-up specials. Thank you for the laughs. Go fuck yourself. All right. Thank you for writing in and thank you for listening. And good luck.

I mean, I hope you guys continue to protest over there and you inspire people over there and you inspire people over here to get together. And I don't know. And maybe the 24-hour news networks can, I don't know, grow a heart somehow and stop sticking up for fucking big business. And brand every protester is a fucking anti-democracy commie.

All right, there we go. On to the next one. What do we got here? Am I a horrible person? Hey, Billy Bearchest. My wife and I have been married for almost six years. Over that time, she has gained a significant amount of weight. I still love the hell out of her, but my affection has been waning

with every Charleston chew and chito puff. She's not the type of lady that would take kindly to me respectfully telling her that I'm worried about her health, and I want her around for the long run, like I know you've advised before. A few months ago, my peanut brain developed a strategy that has worked wonders, but I'm worried about the moral ramifications of it. Most nights at the dinner table, if she goes for second,

I'll muster up a toxic fart at the table. I'll try to keep one in the chamber. What? I'll try to keep one in the chamber from the time we sit down to eat and I sit on it until I think she's had enough to eat. This strategy is working wonders. Every single time she'll lose her appetite and stop eating.

This comes from. comes with a brief moment in the doghouse, but it's worth the damage I'm saving to her arteries. Does this make me the world's shittiest spouse? Yeah, no pun intended. And if so, what should I try instead? Love the podcast. Go, Pat's and go fuck yourself.

I think you're in a very similar situation as most men are. You're kind of afraid to approach your wife and have a conversation. And I don't know, I think if you keep using terrorist tactics with your ass, eventually, you know, it's going to do some damage. I would never let her know that you've been deliberately farting. Oh, that could be funny if you told her that. I would just sit down and talk to her and just say, listen, I realized I'm afraid to talk to you. All right?

and then you've got to just kind of go in from there and just say, listen, you've put on a lot of weight, okay? And you're still young, so there's not going to be any ramifications for that. But like, you're going to have a lot of problems. Look, this is really the truth here. For you to marry somebody, man or woman, or the A, man, woman, or the A? man woman or the A, right? For you to fucking marry somebody, I got shut off this fucking AC

I know it's a lot of shit here. Okay, and you know, you're like a middleweight and then the second you get married you just start fucking ballooning up. Like, that's not fucking cool. You know, that taking advantage of for better or for worse, like, you know,

nobody wants to fucking live with a cow. It's not fucking fair If you're going through some emotional shit, you got to be an adult and go to therapy and fucking work it out. But like to become male or female or they to fucking become a fucking lard ass, you know, it's just, it's not cool. And if you do it and if your spouse says something, you shouldn't get mad at them. You know, they're trying to fucking help you out. Now, here's the thing. There's exceptions. You know, if you're, you're on some sort of medication and it does this to you,

if you had kids, you know, like I would never, you know, if you had a baby, okay, that's a 100% obvious, legit excuse, but like to just be sitting there eating like a fucking pothead in college and just becoming a house, you know, that's just not cool.

So, you know, there's all of this information out there about the things that men do to women and how women live in fear of this and that and blah, blah, but there's like, most guys don't beat the shit out of their wives. Most guys are not assholes to their wives, but I will say most guys are afraid to call their wives out on their shit because most women make it not worth it. Because they are masters of manipulation. They will turn it around. They will somehow say you're throwing something in their face, they will make it be, you know, as you're giving them the information and they know you're right, they are just waiting for you to make one wrong

step to say one wrong word and like that, I'm going to make it about that right there. And then they spin it off into another direction. And then you have to just sit there and fucking let them do it and be like, okay, are we done? We're not going to make this about that. Okay? I never said that, you know, I don't have any speechwriters. So I'm not going to fucking say, everything perfectly here, but like, I'm doing this for your own benefit and the benefit of us. Yeah, you're, you're gonna, like, I'm gonna try to help you stop from being on my 600 pound life. And if you want to get mad, be mad. Be mad. Go ahead, be mad. Have another fucking Twinkie. Do it. And then you're going to get diagnosed with being a fucking diabetic. And then what are you going to do?

Come cry to me. I already told me. I already told you. talk to you about it. I'm saying lay off the fucking chips. I mean, I don't know what to do. You know, I don't know. It's weird. It's a really weird thing. Most women are too smart to be held accountable.

And it's weird. In a way, they're getting away with something. In the short run, they get away with it. But in the long run, they're not. Like, I don't know. I would just talk to her about it. and just say, listen, I'm just going to be fucking honest with you, and this is coming from a pace of love,

you know, you're putting on a ton of weight, and you're going to have major fucking health problems. You're going to be a diabetic, okay? And if you go down that road, you're going to start losing toes. They're going to chop a foot off. Do you want to lose a foot? I'm trying to help you not lose a foot. I'll still love you, and I'll screw that foot on every fucking day if you want,

but, like, is that the life you want? So, you know, that is kind of a good strategy. I will say, like, I've tried that. And like, listen to me, I'm like whispering right now, you know. And my wife isn't even here. This is the fear a married man lives in. It's like, I've just done this new thing where, like, when I'm right and I'm not being malicious, you know, my wife or anybody, okay, you're mad, fucking be mad. That's not on me.

Don't be mad because I told you the truth. This is coming from a place of love. All right? You want to be mad? Go waddle off into the corner. Be mad that you're fat now. Yeah, I don't know. But I will say, that farting thing is like one of the greatest examples I've ever heard of.

It's really a statement of not only your ingenuity, but like their inability, like the lack of, like, that's a major red flag. Like, the communication has completely broken down in your relationship. this is how you convey your, you've put on too much weight. And I also think that this is a great lesson for people who are in relationships. If you're like afraid to communicate the truth to the person that you're with, like that's something that needs to be addressed. All right. There we go.

All right. and I'll check in on you on Thursday.