Monday Morning Podcast - Flightless Birds, New Music, Breath Work | Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 1-15-26

Episode Date: January 15, 2026

Bill rambles about flightless birds, new music, and breathwork. (00:00) - Thursday Afternoon Podcast (29:51) - Thursday Afternoon Throwback - Bill rambles about the Mall Of America, quarterback names, and ex wives. (01:30:39) - Anything Better Divisional Playoff Preview - Bill and Paul both went 5-1 on Wild Card Weekend.  They talk about this week's Divisional Rounds, and more appropriately named teams. Coast:  Coast Pay is offering our listeners free gas for a day when you get started at http://www.coastpay.com/BURR  Butcher Box:  Your choice of filet mignon, New York strip, or ribeye in every box for an entire year, plus $20 off your first box, and free shipping always http://www.ButcherBox.com/BURR   

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Some exclusions to instant rewards apply. This is not investment advice in trading crypto involves risk. Check Gemini's website for more details on rates and fees. Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr, and it's time for the Thursday afternoon just before Friday, Monday morning podcast, and I'm just checking in on you. Woo!

I'm sitting here in my living room right now. the TV has on its screen and this is what I don't understand. Part of the screen saver is it looks like a school of barracuda. Ooh, barracuda, right? And here's my thing. I don't think I've ever seen

like predators. They're usually by themselves. Bears, snakes. Fuck it. What else is a predator out there? I don't know, mountain lions. They're usually like, hey, man, you know,

they sort of look, they respect each other. There's territories. Hey, I'm doing, this is my territory. I kill over here. This is my shit. That's your shit. I mean, I guess there's a pride of lions. They're codependent.

Cheetah's usually got a couple, two, or three. Coyotes also. But coyotes in, in, in, uh, cheaters are smaller. So you figure, you know, they need to do the gang tackle, right, to bring something down. But, you know, great white sharks, they're by themselves. Killer whales. I don't know. But there's like, dude, there's like a fucking thousand of them.

Serial killers. By themselves. Maybe one other person. That's a hell of a conversation, trying to get somebody on the same page. How do you know it's okay to bring that up? I'm like, oh, God, I'm starving. I could actually eat a person right now. And then you kind of throw it out there.

The person kind of lights up like, yeah, you know, that ankle bone meat isn't bad. Sorry. Anyway, I got a lot of satisfaction one time watching, like, I didn't know that ostrich just can't fly. I didn't think that they could, but I just, I didn't really even think about it. It's a big stupid-looking bird. And what they do is they're like track stars. They're fucking thing for some, I don't know why they have winks. and why they don't have arms with like claws on them.

If you're just going to run away and be on the fucking ground, um, yeah. Like having wings as a bird, but you can't fly is the bird version of like erectile dysfunction. You have a dick, but it's not where. Well,

wait a minute. You can still piss with your dick, right? You're still eliminating, but you know, they can still flap their wings, you know, get a little breeze going.

I don't know what. So these things just, they just fucking. Like, your only way to catch him is if, like, you ambush him. They have to completely not be ready. Because when they take, like, within, like, it's like a great running back. Like, half a step he's at full speed. And they see the feet, like, they just fucking, like, they're just gone.

And they're over the horizon. And I think anything that can run as fast as them, like runs out of gas. Like, you ever see that shit about, I'm all over the map. A Bugatti, which for my money is the ugliest supercar. there is it's like what if we took a ford etzel and we made it a supercar same same urinal stand-up urinal front end right which i don't even think the etzel was that bad um i think it's like waterworld water world water world is a fucking great movie but like the press just went negative and a lot of people never saw it's a great fucking movie and dare i say was uh you know was

the sea level is rising you know it was ahead of its time okay people didn't get it like Roger Waters, a muse to death. A lot of people don't get that album. Didn't get it when it came out. And years later, they're like, oh, you know what? It's actually you get back and did you? Yeah, it's one of those things. So where the hell was I going with this?

Oh, the Bugatti and the ostrich. So Bugatti, I don't even know if I'm saying that, right? Fucking Bugatti. I'm going to take Boo Boo. I bet that's what they say when you have one of those cars. You taking your boo? Do you love that car more than me? No, I love you.

And then you got a fucking banger that chick has. half your age so she can feel secure. And then eventually she's like, you got to knock me up or I'm going to leave you. I got to be in the will. And you're like, okay. And then you fucking, fucking bust an 80-year-old nut into her. And now you got a kid coming. So now she can fight off your relatives when you die, right?

That's how that game works. That's how that game works. I, like you, did not understand why an 80-year-old man would have a kid. And Dean Delray broke it down for me. I was like, why are all these rock stars having kids that late in life? He goes, they got to keep their women. Can't just have a chick in your 30s if you're 80. Okay?

She can't be like looking at you naked and you just look like a fucking walking ball bag. She's got to get something out of it. So she gets the kid and then she can be like, I, with his wife, I have a child with him. What is he going to do with his future? Right. And then she gets the money. And what does she do? She goes out and buys a bunch of her.

horseshoes. Not horseshoes. Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho! Hors shoes! You know those ones? You can just see their whole feet? It's all glass. Everything but the goldfish swimming around in the back. Those ones.

Afternoon stripper shoes. That's what she goes out because now she's got to go fucking find somebody else. What is she going to do? Work? She put her time in. She banged a walking, talking ball. bag and she's got the kid to prove it. So the Bugatti, getting back to it, and the ostrich, where like a Bugatti can go, like, whatever, 240 fucking miles and out, 30 miles an hour, whatever it is, if you were to go somewhere

where you could drive that fast for 15 minutes or 20 minutes or whatever, you just floored it. the tires get so hot you'd have no tires left like after 17 minutes but the car would run out of gas in like 14 minutes so they prevent you from doing something stupid and that my friends is what all that math you took in high school we're like dude i'm never going to fucking use this that's what it's for all that physics shit you never used chemistry all of that although those nerds that excelled at that eventually got hired at a company, and they used physics, chemistry, and high school, all that mathematics shit. I don't know how to apply any of it.

I would think the chemistry is what the tires made up with, the physics, the friction, all of that shit, the aerodynamics. See, if you like me, the only way to figure that out is to get in the car and do it. All right? These fucking nerds can sit down with a pencil, a piece of paper, and no friends. and figure out they can guess what's going to happen. That's the levels of smart they are. I know you think you're smart because you can name every head coach in the NFL.

All right? But what truly makes you smart is when you can like predict the future with a pencil and a piece of paper. And a graduated cylinder. Like who even knows what the fuck those are for? I mean, whenever I saw a graduated cylinder, all I thought was like, I'm doing some shots tonight. That's what I thought. Where a nerd looked at it and was like, that is used to measure whatever the fuck I'm doing to try to predict the future. But anyway, the Bugatti would run out of gas in like 15 minutes.

So that's kind of what happens with, I guess, animals that are super fast. They can operate. like I think with the ostrich is like the fucking cheetah runs out of gas in like two minutes and they don't run out of gas for like five minutes. So they're just gone. It's incredible to watch. And I don't know. After a while you start rooting for the predator.

And I can tell you this. There's a reason why ostriches can run that fast is because they don't know how to fight. Okay. They got T-Rex arms except their wings. All right. And once they get grabbed by their neck, it's just they don't have any neck strength so they can't pick the predator up. It just goes down and then their stupid body just like tips over, you know? Do you ever see a tall white trash woman that is still drinking like she's in her 20s, in her 50s?

That's the kind of body an ostrich has. You know, the only thing that's missing is fucking yoga pants. I love people who wear yoga pants that don't do yoga, you know, or fat guys that wear sweatpants that don't go to the gym, you know. And I think as a clothing maker, you have to understand that once you go past a certain size in gym wear, you're like, this person is not going to the gym. Just they can't get jeans that are comfortable, and now they're doing that. All right, did it have to go there, Bill?

Does all comedy roads lead to fat shaming? I don't know. I have no idea. Anyway, I've been listening to a bunch of music here, some stuff I got to tell you guys about. I discovered this amazing, amazing singer-songwriter, Daniel Caesar. And I discovered him through this song,

who knows. Of course, Nia had like this, you know, she puts this YouTube channel on where DJs are just playing music and shit. And like, this DJ was playing this song and it caught my ear. I'm like, oh my God, I'm getting like Brian Wilson vibes in the chorus. What is going on here? And just that alone, I like downloaded the song. And then I read the lyrics and I was like, holy shit. This guy is unbelievable. Daniel Caesar, who knows? Download that.

And then I want to hear your theories of what you think that song's about because I have a hundred of them. What I love about the song, it's about, on the surface, why don't you guys just stop the podcast and listen to this song for a second and then come back?

All right, I'll wait. All right, you're back. You hit pause. It's a miracle, you know? And I'm still right. Here, did miss a step. On the surface, it's a guy who feels like he's in over his head with a woman, right? Like, she's beyond me.

She's unattainable. I don't know if I can sustain this. I'm probably going to fuck it up. So on the surface level, I feel like it's a guy who doesn't love himself. So he doesn't know how to love this woman who clearly loves him. And he's going to project all of his, how he feels about. himself onto her, and then he's going to manifest what he's afraid of that she is going to dump him. But in the end, he loves her more than anything, and he loves that he loves her, and he wants

to marry her, but in his head, he doesn't think that he's worth getting married to, and she's going to get tired of that. Once the honeymoon phase is of loving somebody, if they're just constantly beating themselves up, and then you got to, you only have so much in your battery pack every day. If you've got to keep picking somebody up, that's going to get old after a while. So that's what it is on the surface. But I'm looking at it, like how this guy feels, what I love about it is man, a woman, or a thing. You can feel that way at any moment in a relationship. When you first met somebody, when you get serious, when you're married, when you're in a decade, two with them, you can feel like you're not worthy of them. You know, if your self-esteem is like,

on the precipice there, right? But then there's another part of it where you could also look at this song, and this is a guy dealing with a woman he's been with for a while, and they're in some sort of postpartum, perimenopause, many menopause, one of those changes that women go through

in a hormone sense where you have no idea, it seems, from one hour to the next, from one day to the next, what you're going to what you're going to be getting so the song starts off where he's like

I'll probably be a waste of your time but who knows chances are I'll step out of line but who knows so on face value you read that like you know I'm probably going to fuck this up but like when you look at it through a different lens

of the woman you're with is going through some sort of hormonal change is like, you know, I don't know what I'm going to do, but I know I'm going to do something wrong. Or maybe she'll be in a good mood and I won't get yelled at. Who knows? I don't know. Right? And then there's this line in there where he goes like, tell me about the city you're from. Is it hot? Does it snow there? To me, he's checking in on her mentally. The city's like her mental health. Like, how's it going today? Is it hot? Does it snow? The covers on, covers off, what the fuck are we doing? Me in the room, me out of the room? You know, I don't know. It's a fucking incredible song and an incredible album and an incredible artist. There you go. Firing on all cylinders. And then I downloaded the new, well, the last couple of years, the new Billy Eilish, something I would never think to listen to, considering I'm still finding obscure White Snake song.

to listen to? Listen, you are of your time. I will never let 80s heavy metal go. And I went on this massive cozy Powell drum rabbit hole that I could not have enjoyed any better. But anyway, I also need to be understanding what's going on during this time. And I downloaded her album that came out in 2024

because I just randomly heard this song of hers. Oh, Hit Me Hard and Soft is the name of the album. And there was a song, Birds of a Feather, that I saw somebody doing a drum cover of. And I'm like, that's Billy Eilish. I should listen to her. So I had her album on this morning making the kids breakfast, and I loved it.

And then there's this other part of music that reminded me when I was in New York City and I was doing what they called the uptown rooms. which was the black rooms when I was doing both. So especially early 2000s, there's a song by Cameron, oh boy, and I just liked it because I like the drums in it. I mean, I always liked the song, but it takes me back to working with all of these guys,

you know, talent, Rudy Rush, Rob Stapleton, Capone, Gerald Kelly. Drew Frazier, all the New York Kings and Will Silvince, all of those guys. And like those were the songs that were on, you know, while the crowd came in or when they would bring comedians up. And I had like, it was one of my favorite times of my learning how to be a comedian was working with all of those guys, doing those rooms, being in front of those crowds, you know. and the whole time just feeling like I was in over my head, but knowing that I needed to figure out how to perform in front of everybody.

You know, it's that shit I learned when I saw Eddie Murphy. You know, I saw Rodney Dangerfield. I always tell this story, but it's important just in case, for me anyways, if the comedian, young comics listening, I saw Rodney Dangerfield and Eddie Murphy back to back in 1986 at Great Woods. And when I saw Rodney, I was thinking like, this guy's making everybody laugh, but I didn't realize he's making everybody laugh here

was what it really was. A couple weeks later, I saw Eddie on the Raw tour, and it wasn't an all-white crowd, like everybody was there. And I remember thinking, I don't know why. I was 18, and I still got that information, like Eddie is making everybody laugh. I don't even know if I had the balls to think I could be a comedian because show business seemed so far away,

but like I was thinking to myself, Like if I was going to be a comedian, I would like to be able to do that. Just like funny is funny. I don't give a fuck what your background is, where you're from, male, female, gay, straight, black, white, whatever. If you're listening to me, I'm making your laugh. So anyway, that's why I was doing those rooms. So all of that music, you know, because it was such a rush when I had a good set. And it was also humiliating when I didn't because I felt like I was.

was letting down, you know, all white comics, too. Like, the black crowd was just like, yeah, they're corny. They're not funny. Like, there was like a whole other added level of pressure to do the rooms. And then it became like, you know, this whole journey. Can I actually be myself here rather than being, oh, I'm the white guy. I'm nervous in this neighborhood or even worse to try to be the hip-hop adjacent white guy. I never did that.

but I definitely blacked up my white act a little bit by tagging a lot of jokes by saying, you know what I'm saying? And I was like, why did I say that? I don't say that. But anyway, all of that music, you know, it's usually Nia has it on. She has an incredible taste in music.

And then I'm always, you know, 20 fucking something years later, I'm like, I'm like, wait, who is that? Who is that? I need I need to download that because there's also like drum shit that I couldn't do back in the day when I listened to it

I wasn't in that mind space that also appeals to me. I'll tell you, an album that a lot of people sleep on that I think, did I just say sleep on? I did. A lot of people that

look past this album. See that? Being myself here. This is one of my favorite like, I would say, rap albums that nobody seems to talk about.

It's an album by Eric Sermon. I think it's just called music. And I don't know who the fuck produced this thing. But some of the tracks on it, I'm not going to name other rappers. There's other rappers I've been a fan of, but their producer absolutely sucked. And I would just be like, this person is like their rhymes, their flow, whatever you're supposed,

is so much more elevated than the fucking tracks that they have them wrapping over. And it would just, it would take me out. What are some of my favorite ones on this one? Come through is great. Music was the hit where they had the Marvin Gay sample. Now what's up is just the sickest fucking, like whoever produced that thing. I can't say the name of half of these songs. But it's an incredible album.

And I also feel like it's timeless because I put it on at multiple social gatherings. It's kind of like my go-to, like random one that like my people aren't going to fuck. Caucasians aren't going to know. And everybody's like, who is this? Who is this? I'm telling you. I go, this is a fucking great album. All right. So there we go.

Let me do, so I've been listening in all of that shit. And I think my garage door is finally going to get fixed today. I'll tell you, those garage doors, you know, they do the darndest things, you know, by golly. You know, you think you got it fixed

and then, you know, Jiminy Cricket, it breaks again, you know? That's how I handle stress now. It's fantastic. I took my kids to school today and I got I got in the car and the key was, I thought the key was in the car

it wasn't and then I didn't know where it was and that would be the kind of thing that I would be dropping F bombs, flipping out and all of that and I didn't. I just said, all right, you guys just hang on. I said, you know, dad has to find the keys and then I just said something stupid to him. I just looked at my kids and I went, Mornings, am I right?

and they're just looking at me like, Dad, you're being weird. They don't get what I'm doing, but it's the way I'm keeping myself. I don't even have to keep myself calm. I fucking, I don't know what happened, dude. I got it. It's out of me.

It's gone. I cannot recommend doing breath work and taking away all the shame of all these emotions that they take away from you. Forget about it as a man, just as a person, because I think there's a lot of shame too

with like women, and stuff that, you know, all of this stuff, that you have to be tough, you got to be strong and all of that type of shit. And I think that we, you know, listen, I'll speak for myself. I hate using the pronoun we. I think that what I did was I equated that to mean in all times, that, you know, that if you ignored how you were feeling, that meant you were tough. And I didn't realize that, you know, there's times when you have to ignore how you're feeling. Okay? Somebody comes through your front door with an axe, you can't be like, oh my God, he's got an axe. And somebody's got to be like, somebody's got to fucking address it and face it, do whatever

you got to do, right? At least delay the person getting up the stairs so your kids can fucking, you know, and your wife can get out the back window, right? And then there's other times to cry that shit out. So I didn't realize that. That would be the back nine. Everybody's good at the fucking the front nine. There's plenty of information about the front nine.

But once you go through all of that shit, there's a place where you got to let that go or else your kids are listening to your screaming like a crazily fucking homeless person. You know, when the reality is you're going to go inside in under a minute you're going to find the keys and it wasn't even worth it. But they had to go through, you know,

watching you flipping out. and also, I guess, teaching them that that's what you do when you flip out. So, anyway, with that, let me do, we got a read here for this week, huh? What do we got? What do we got? We got, oh, geez, Louise, would you look at that? I'll tell you, cell phones just do the darnest things. We got two reads here.

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For Monday, January 15th, 2018, what's going on? How are you? How are you? I'm in San Francisco. It's still Sunday. The second half has just begun. The Saints go. Marching in versus the Minnesota Vikings.

The Saints was my pick this weekend. I loved Drew Breeze going into Minnesota and fucking having everybody crying at the fucking mall of America by the end of the game. And so far, the Vikings are up 17 to nothing, although I think they just fucking went three and out. Old Case Keatom. Just got put down on his fucking keister.

We'll see. You never know what's going to happen. I mean, look at the fucking Jaguars. The Jaguars just came right out, gave the Steelers the old right there, Fred. All of a sudden, they're running back, twists his ankle, right? I don't feel, I can't put any weight on it, man, right? Then all of a sudden, the Steelers come roaring fucking back, and I'm sitting there going, this game's over.

Pittsburgh Steelers, it's in Pittsburgh. This shit is over. No way, what the fuck's his name? Bryce Bortles. I can't, by the way, I can't keep up with these fucking names from the 90s. Okay, the cases, the Bryce, the Bolton's, the fucking, I don't know, you know, a lot of comics have done bits about it. But, you know, back when it was like, you know, Bill Bob, fucking Steve, Joe, greatest quarterback of all fucking time at one point was named Joe. You know, Joe Namath, Joe Montana, Joe Thysman, Joe Thysman, Joe.

fucking Blake Bortles. I, you know, whatever. I'm just, I'm an old, crabby fucking man. I guess the 90s, it was really big to name your kid after a C name, considering all the quarterbacks, right? Kurt, Carson, Case. It's like, did Roger Clemens fuck all these women? But he did that.

He had, like, fucking nine kids, and he, Cody, Kyle, Kanti, Chris, right? They were all K's. They were all K's. Yeah, why would you have them have their own identity? Let's fucking have their name be about your fucking career. What do you mean you want to be a veterinarian? Get the fuck out there, pick up a baseball, and throw some heat.

Sorry, that was my impression of what it's like inside their household. Like I have any idea, all right? I have nothing against the Clemens family. I love Roger Clemens You know He fucking did some great things with the Red Sox Before he went to Toronto Well we let him go, right?

Then he fucking jumped on that poor police horse Jesus Christ You know that horse was wishing It was a fucking Clydesdale When he got on his goddamn back I'm just in a bad move Because I'm in San Francisco Right? I fucking came here yesterday

And no guy has even looked at me No I came here yesterday And it was sunny out one of the rare, sunny, beautiful days. And San Francisco, when it is sunny out, when the weather is nice, can fuck with any city. I'll even say in North America,

forget about the continental United States, including Alaska and Hawaii and some of our tributaries like fucking Puerto Rico there. Isaac fucks with any city. Okay. However, on the usual cloudy, rainy day, this place, there's a misery to this fucking place. It's cold, wet air blowing against you as you walk up yet another fucking hill.

You know? Nothing is ever down a hill. It's always up a hill around a corner to an even steeper hill. You know, and they still have all that mamas and popas, you know, all the leaves are brown, hippie vibe going out here a little bit. Even all the evil people from fucking Silicon Valley. which I still never know quite where that is. It's somewhere down near like San Jose.

I just don't know where it begins and where it ends. But silicone to me, and my level of intellect, the amount of books that I've read in life, silicone to me is and will always be what's in fake tittyes. So, you know, I don't know what they're doing. I actually flew up here. I rented a helicopter and flew up here with a couple people,

had a great fucking time, picked up a couple of hours. And we went by this giant building that was this huge circle. And I was like, what the fuck is that? That looks like, I don't know. It looks like the Pentagon if it was groovy, man, right? I was like, what is that? And my buddy guest, he goes, it's probably, maybe it's Apple. I never seen a building like it.

It was just a total circle. Then in the middle, there was like all of this, like, it looked like a jungle in the middle. You know, and if you look down, you could see the employees screaming and waving. Don't get me out of here. He's still alive. Steve is still alive. I think that's what it said.

But I was, you know, too busy focusing on not hitting somebody else while I was up there. Turns out it was the Apple Building. Very impressive. Very fucking impressive structure. And then we went right by Stanford and saw that stadium. My buddy was hitting me with trivia before we got there. He goes, I went to a game. I went to a Super Bowl.

he claimed it was the only Super Bowl ever played at a college stadium or something like that, which isn't true, because they played a bunch at the Rose Bowl and also a Tulane. Maybe he said the last one played at a college stadium. Was it that? I forget what it was. Don't blame him. Blame me for not remembering. And I was able to guess that.

I said it was the 49ers Dolphins at Stanford Stadium, only because I had recently read that that's where they played that game. and because I got that right, he then had to be like, what was the score? I was like, I don't know, but Fulton Walker took a kickoff back for the first time of Super Bowl history. It's like 35, 10. So anyways, we fucking land at San Francisco International Airport, which it's so much different, you know, when you actually get to see how cool it fucking looks. when you're sitting in the back of the tube, you know,

and you're just looking out the back, just praying, you know, just please get this thing on the fucking ground. It's different when you come up there. It's fucking amazing. It's expensive as shit, but it's amazing, right? Sweetland, everything's going great. And I ended up doing this thing with, what is it, the San Francisco Sketchfest.

And I did this, what was it, the, who's the guy? from Cuba. Castro. The Castro Theater with Kevin Pollock. And we just went out and sort of an interview just riffing, fucking around. And then people came up and asked questions afterwards. I want to thank everybody that showed up. It was like one in the afternoon. All of these people showed out. It was a great time. And Kevin's just the greatest

fucking dude ever. And we actually, I got to do a scene with them in a movie coming up called Front Runner. It's coming up this year. We had a great time doing that. And, you know, San Francisco, why ain't a bad mood, Bill? The South sounds great. It's all great. It's all fucking great. Then I get to my hotel. Of course, I show up, right? And the lady takes my driver's license.

I forgot to not just show it to her. Like, she took the driver's license, right? So then she starts clicking on a keyboard. I say, hey, can you do me a favor? Can you not type any personal information on a license? And she got all this fucking attitude. She goes, I am not. I will tell you what I'm typing in

and bumble on this whole fucking, you know, snap to the 12 to the 6, whatever the fucking kids say. I want to be like, lady, lady, you're not going to tell me what you're going to do. I'm going to tell you what you're not going to do, you fucking cunt. But of course I can't say that. You know, I can't say that.

Dude, I don't know what the fuck happened to customer service. But her fucking attitude, the way she talked to me, it was like I told her how to parent her. kid. So then she looks me up. Of course, they don't fucking have me down, because I probably miscommunicated when I was going to come up here anyways. I just didn't say a fucking word, right? And then she went out of her way and actually got me, you know, she didn't get me out of the way. She fucking did her job. Fuck her. Still fuck her. Sir, I'm going to tell you when I'm like, like, what enough? I felt like I was getting booked. I just, I fucking, I don't understand

What has happened to customer service? So then I was just like, all right, all right, fucking whatever. All right. And then this hotel turns out they don't have the two things that I need in a hotel. The only two fucking things I need other than a fucking door that doesn't open up out into the parking lot. In other words, I'm not staying in a motel. Okay? And all I need is some sort of gym and an ironing board.

That's it. This hotel has neither. Has neither. It has a little steam fucking machine. I don't want to steam my fucking clothes. I practice my drum shit. But I'm on the road. I bring a little practice pad.

And after all these years are trying to find a fucking table that fits right, the ironing board was there the whole time. You just play standing up. Okay? And you can adjust it down. If it's not high enough,

you just put a couple of towels underneath. And then it's at the height you needed to be. They don't fucking have one. And then lastly, I went to go get a burrito and I fucked up. Like San Francisco makes the best burritos, right? They got the best bread perfected them. don't know where they came from.

I believe France invented the burrito. I'm not sure. So there's this, fuck, I'm not going to name the burrito place, but evidently they got a great spot in the mission, and I'm all the way down near the fucking touristy area where they got like rides to Alcatraz. I'm like, I'm not fucking going all the way out there. I want to watch both these fucking football games,

and lo and behold, I find that there's a guy, there's one that's in on everybody's top 10 list that makes a fucking burrito in the mission, but also has another location down near the, the fisherman place, right? The wharf down here. So I'm like, all right, well, I know it's probably not going to be as good as the original because it's the original oven and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

So I fucking go to the new, obviously the second one that they opened. I show up, right? And there's like fucking, I don't know, a group of four in front of me and a group of two in front of me. And you would have thought the amount of time it took them to order a fucking burrito. You would have thought that they were trying to like, you know, it was like wartime, and they were trying to catch the last flight out before the, you know, the impending regime or whatever. I was going to send them to a fucking labor camp.

That's like how long they were negotiating this. And what kills me is these four people that took for fucking ever. Then the two people behind him who had enough time to fucking go on YouTube, find out what's in a burrito, go to a fucking supermarket, buy the shit, and cook one. That's the amount of time they had. They step up to the register. It's their moment of truth to order a burrito, and they start looking at the menu.

We're going to get a... Fucking ridiculous. Fucking ridiculous. So I get up there. What do you want? Give me the original burrito chicken. Chips and salsa and a water to go. Cash.

Thank you. Step aside. Over. How hard is that? You know what it is? It's somewhere in the last century became illegal to punch somebody in the back of their head when they were taken too long in a line.

And now everybody, they're just, you know, they're just a little too comfortable. They're just a little too comfortable. So I'm standing there. And, you know, now I'm behind the fucking couple that, you know, over at the salsa line. Salsa line. Salsa, salsa line. And I'm behind them again.

And it's taking them forever to get fucking salsa. They're fucking looking around. around and they're looking at other people. It's like, use your fucking brain. Mild, medium, hot. The fuck. Touchdown, sates!

Oh, win them sates. Go marching in. Ba-da-da-da-da-da-doo. Uh-oh. Plenty of time left. No, there isn't. What am I talking about? I thought that was fucking 118 into the third quarter.

Well, I guess there's plenty of time left, right? This is the way the game is played nowadays. It's like, do they go for two here? There's only a quarter in a minute 13 left. Kick the fucking extra point. Yeah. Jesus Christ, that guy just had a soul patch on the back of his head. Wow.

You know how tough you have to be to have that? Because someone's just how hard it would be to not tell that guy how fucking annoying that is. Like, dude, I just want to fucking, can you just grow it out or shave it off? All right. Touchdown Saints. Touched my prediction lives. This is such a disturbing commercial where this guy falls off the cruise ship. This is one of my biggest fucking fears in life. You know what I mean?

Just being in the fucking ocean. Praying for hypothermia to set in before something comes up to you and just takes a bite out of you. Can you imagine when you see that fucking shark fin just break the water? you know and you know you smell the thing fucking wild animals you can smell them from a mile away to the point I don't understand

how they're able to kill anybody you know you never go to the fucking zoo when you just smell those goddamn lions I guess everything stinks out there you know anyways and they just leave the guy in the fucking ocean

fucking really bothers me this got to be somebody complaining about that. You know, once a year that seems to happen, or every couple of years, like somebody goes on a honeymoon and their spouse fucking falls overboard. You know?

I got to look that up. How many fucking times? What are the odds? Are the odds higher on a honeymoon? Or after you've been married for a while? Like how many times somebody has, like, fucking thrown a spouse overboard? You know?

And if it's anywhere near the number that I think it is, I want to know why it doesn't have its own hashtag. I think we need to start a hashtag on Twitter. Let me just do fucking three seconds of research here. Spouse. How do you spell spouse? I just spelled spas. Spouse.

What would I look up here? Spouse. Dead. Cruise ship. Significant other? Question mark. When a passenger dies at sea, what you need to know. Oh my God, what do they do?

Do they have a burial at sea? You know, with the Carnival Cruise Line flag, and they try to make it look official? He's just sitting there looking at fucking Gilligan and Gopher. Is that the guy's name? Gopher? The guy became like a senator. Husband pleads not guilty in wife's cruise ship killing.

Oh, my God. I, geez, if they figure out, can you imagine that why that's that's just cruel and unusual punishment bad enough you killed somebody the fact that you would send them to that of a lonely brutal death a Utah man who allegedly brutally murdered his wife last month while on board in Alaska

oh he just he killed her on board all right well Jesus there's some fucking serious music dude who composed that hey this guy killed his wife this guy killed his wife on a fucking cruise ship and this guy just we need music for that and that guy he just comes I can't get back to the fade in that

that was what the Jimmy Page army of fucking guitars there can you imagine that you want to write the next stairway to heaven and now you're just writing fucking music you know that fits people dying on a fucking cruise ship okay this dude is accused of first degree murder in the death of his 39 year old wife wife.

She must have fucking choked her in shuffleboard or something. I'm sorry. Kenneth's wife was found dead in her cruise ship cabin on July 25th after the couple had a domestic dispute. Oh my God. You know, they should

throw this guy overboard. Jesus Christ. Said blood was spread throughout the room on multiple surfaces. He was immediately detained by ship's security and a witness said that the defendant allegedly told him she would not stop laughing at me. Jesus Christ.

What the, was she ridiculing him? You know, it's funny, if this was the other way around, I think the woman goes free. If she just said he was fat shaming her, like she put on some baby weight or something like that, he wouldn't stop laughing at me and I just made me feel like I was small. Each year, over 4,000 men laugh at their recently not pregnant wives, causing them to feel bad about themselves. Okay, he had been acting terrible all night, the source claimed adding at some point that evening, he's, yeah, she wouldn't, somebody not stop laughing at you. It's, you go for a walk. What a, wow, what was going?

That guy is not just a straight up fucking psycho. You know? Like, what the fuck was going on? How many movies could you make out of that relationship? Like, if that guy never did anything wrong in his life, and she was just so fucking sadistic and it had so gotten into his fucking head, that her just laughing at him, that he fucking snapped like that? You know, I'm just playing the other side.

I'm just playing devil's advocate here. Interception! Sell window saints. Go march it in. Yeah, da-da-di-da-da-ba-boo. How annoying am I to the fucking person next to me? Case Keatum. Case.

Case and Drew. Those are the quarterbacks. Used to be Joe versus Phillip. Roger versus Terry. What was some of the great rivalry names? Dan versus Kenny. It would be Dan Fouts. Versenny Anderson in that fucking freezing bowl.

Oh, he definitely stepped out of bow. You can see right there. That's exactly what happened there. Can't see any grade between the white line. Case Keenham got out a giant iPad. He's going to play a little donkey conk. Put on a hat. There you go.

Hugs all around like the game has been won. On the Saints side. Isn't it me either the Saints uniforms look a little cheap? I don't know what's going on. Did they take some stripe away in their shirt? It looks like they should be playing on half a field inside a hockey arena. All right, Drew Breezy's got the ball. He hands it off and a guy.

immediately is tackled. What a waste of a play. 102 to go in the fucking third quarter. You want me announce the rest of the third quarter for you? Some of you guys like when I do this shit. Right? Number 29, he's upset. What is he upset about?

I don't know, but a guy with fucking night vision glasses is talking to him. Listen, I just got from the gun range. I didn't see what happened, but I believe in you. 29, what the fuck is he doing out there? That's a running back number. isn't it? Maybe he's mad at, maybe he's mad at Case. Get off my case, Keenham. Sorry. Drew Bleas drops back to pass. Oh, with a fucking middle.

When those Sates get a fucking first down. Woo! Why do I give a shit about this game? It's literally just because I told Paul Verzi that I thought the Saints were going to win, that I need this to happen to fill me up in life. Because I'm a married guy, you know, and the compliments, you know, they're on a, they're on, I'm on like a compliment ration. I get one a season, and there's only one season in L.A.

I used to get four a year when I lived in New York. Now I'm out in L.A. I get about one. How do you get that job as Water Guy? Like, how do you know who's fucking thirsty? Nobody ever points to their mouth. You just kind of walk up, you stick it, you know? All right. I swear to God, the black guy in this commercial looks like they stuck his head on like an eight-year-old's body.

Although I do like this commercial. Bill, nobody gives a fuck. Most people aren't even watching this. They don't even know what you're talking about. You're literally doing commentary for a fucking YouTube video that doesn't exist while they're listening to your podcast. Get back on the fucking game here. Fucking Steelers.

What is what the Steelers? How many times are they going to look past the opponent that week? That's what they're saying out there. They're saying that they focus too much on the New England Patriots because, you know, who's kidding? who they beat the Patriots earlier this year you know that was a touch

you know what I don't understand about you know whether it's a catch or whether it's not a catch is the fact that the ground can't cause a fumble if you're running but if you're it can cause an incomplete pass is that how it works

I don't know I have no idea but I like that commercial I just saw that guy was like practiced in speed skating like in his living room that'll be like the latest thing people will get rather than reading about nutrition they'll literally spend like

fucking 10 grand on that thing and then they'll have some sort of app where they can project it onto their TV where they can you can be you know in different speed skating arenas around the fucking world I saw this picture today on the internet

it just fucking it made me feel so goddamn old it was this woman right where's that place where people go to vacation right it's like the ocean looks absolutely perfect. And then these grass, like these huts, and they hover out over the water. You know, one tsunami and everybody's dead, right? But it looks like absolute paradise. Okay. In the picture of this woman, she's in a thong, right? Leaning on one leg, so her butt cheek sticking out. And she's looking at the huts.

And over her head, she's making, you know, that stupid thing where you make a little bit of, you make the heart with your hands. She's doing that, you know? And it made me feel so fucking old. It's like, whatever happened to just go into a fucking unbelievable place and just geeking out and taking a picture of yourself? And you have that look on your face like you can't believe you're there. Like, she literally used that paradise to enhance her whole fucking, like, I don't know what the word is. Her harness.

I don't know. The selfie just makes everybody act like a douche who doesn't know how to behave when they get their own show. In other words, they behave like myself. What's going on? I stepped out of bounds. Eight yards. He picked up eight yards.

I'll tell you right now, you know what? I tell you, who's going to make a big, a lot of fucking money, whoever owns the Kleenex store in the Mall of America. It's my prediction. that every one of these Minnesota fans are going to fucking at the end of this game are they're all going to go down to the Mall of America and they're going to go into the Kleenex store

they're going to get their own fucking, you know, Kleenex with their own initial on it because everybody's fucking special now and you can take a selfie about how sad you are. Actually, you know, it would be amazing as if the Vikings go to the Super Bowl. Okay?

And they play a home game. Ah, first dance! Oh, when those saints go marching in They're down to the fucking two-yard line. You guys like Pete Fountain? Put on the old gray bonnet. I love Pete Fountain. Fucking, he always had a killer drummer, right?

Played the shit out of the clarinet. You know what I mean? And he's never had any sexual harassment scandals. Anyways, plowing ahead here. Oh, Jesus Christ. This guy is a guy's hurt now. What happens? What happened to the guy?

Does he got to go inside the tent? Well, thank God there's an 80-year-old bald white guy to help him off the field. The dude was so short, he couldn't even lean on him. He's probably going to have a separated shoulder by the time he gets over to that little fucking pop tent they put him in. Hey, I think I found the MP3 player that now that I'm seeing this poor bastard with the umbilical cord hanging out, I'm getting out of the Apple world. right as I said that that weirdo just stared at me in the Galaxy commercial. Like he knew I was going to fucking do it.

I'm going to get a new MP. I'm going to go with one of those Sonys. You know? And I want to tell you guys the exact model so you can be like, dude, oh my God, really? You're going to buy that? Yeah, I am. I am.

Because I have a bunch of music that I didn't get on fucking Apple. and those round building cunts. Okay, with the forest in the middle where they re-educate their employees that want to ask for more money or maybe pay the poor bastards that put together their products so they don't jump to their fucking deaths.

How crazy it would be if they still advertised on this podcast after that? Yeah, I want to fucking get out of that world. I still want to use their shit, but I don't like how they're like, fucking this is our shit over here our shit only works with our

with our shit none of our shit works with other people's shit if you want to use our shit you got to buy our other shit to use our shit fuck people's other shit we're gonna fucking own everything I don't understand what is your problem how many billions of dollars

do you I swear to God at that point I know a promoter like that I know a promoter like that he wants to make all the money you know it's not enough that he's making the most money. He wants to make all the money and it actually gives him joy when other people, when other people's, you know, other promoters in his town are not doing well. He'll just say, oh, did you hear about so-and-so? They booked so-and-so. A guy took a bath.

And I'd be like, oh, I bet that makes you happy. Oh, I fucking love it. Anyways, I guess I never gave you guys a hashtag for the cruise ships. Why don't you guys come up with one? Oh, here comes the tent, the pop-up tent. Dick's sporting, good. All right, let's see you, Dick. What happened? Did he hit your left ball or your right ball?

All right, we're going to freeze it here. We're going to do a little fucking put a little designex on it, and I think you'd be all right. All right, Drew Brees, hands the ball off, and the guy runs into everybody. Evidently, there was supposed to be a hole there. You know, when I was a kid, I thought that running backs,

rather than running around the outside, the reason why they ran in the middle because they thought they'd get famous for trying to do something so impossible. What do you guys think is going to happen here? Actually, you already know. I say that they're going to score on third goal. Right?

Unless they try and run it three fucking times. How about a little play action fake here, Drew? For the love of fucking Christ. Oh, by the way, congratulations to Liverpool, huh? Liverpool, be fucking Man City. I guess you guys didn't realize I've been paying attention a little bit to the Premier League

that's soccer for everybody here in North America Drew Breeze throws a there when them saints go my shit It's fucking 17 to motherfucking 13 All right

Okay Case Keatim Case Keatim He's on the case Keenham They must do a bunch of shit like that Right Anytime

I'm, you know, they always have the puns, right? You must do a bunch of those things. Jesus Christ, that's becoming a tale of two halves. Here comes Drew Brees. He's going to break their hearts. I'll tell you right now, right now, the last ride on the roller coaster at the Mall of America is happening.

There's an overall sadness that is going to descend on that mall. Right now, there's a bunch of people that do not give a fuck. Okay, two white guys trying to do a cool hand. shake? I don't know what they just did there. Some sort of

jerk off fucking motion by Drew Breeze. He gave the okay sign. You know, well, these are the times. Is it okay that I'm stroking your dick? I think that that's what that meant. I think that was very progressive by Drew Breeze. All right. If you can tell, I'm doing this thing early and I've yet to get any

of the advertising. I don't have any fucking any of the questions or anything. So at some point, I'm going to have to fucking hit pause. Or I could tell you. X my fucking guy here to send me the bullshit, right? That could happen. That could happen, right? Let me hit pause.

You don't listen to this fucking crap. Or do you? Johnny, oh, do you? What the fuck is going on with the Blackhawks this year? I mean, I got to hit pause. I'm not to put you through this shit. All right, I'm back. Oh, you know what I was going to say is if Minnesota wins this game

and then goes to the Super Bowl. And I'm actually a Vikings fan from way back in the day, to be honest. with you. I don't know why I'm just being a douche right. Like I said, I just predicted this upset. I don't care if the Vikings win. Oh, right up the middle for first down. 13-0-2 to go in the game. He's nodding.

He's nodding like they didn't just give up 14 points in a row. Every fucking guy now acts like they just reinvented football. Look at this. All those people blocked for him. And then when there was finally a fucking guy who could tackle him, he did. And this guy gets up like he's, he'd ever see Jim Brown get up. fucking nodding? Oh, the old man.

This is what you sound like, the closer you get to death. You know, you're like, why isn't it where it used to be? Case Keenham, he is on a strict, no-passing diet right now. They saw that last one. They're like, fuck this guy, just hand it up. Now why aren't you nodding? How come you're not nodding now? If I can got stuff right at the goddamn line.

Everybody. Anybody makes a good play. They're pointing at the name in the back of the jersey. Anytime they fucking don't make a play, they're looking for a flag or they run off the field. Anyways, if I can get through this goddamn point, if Minnesota actually goes to the goddamn Super Bowl, it's a fucking home game.

All right? Everything there is purple. There's no way. You got to have like a Prince-themed halftime show. Do you think he would have played it? Think he would have had to have Prince come back. Look at that fucking throw. Case Keatham shaking off the interception.

The Saints say it's not a catch. They say it's not a catch. says, oh my God, I can't even deal how fucking great I am. It's driving me crazy. Case Keatim, everybody stops shouting. Settle down. This is a great fucking throw. Oh, he just drops it right in there.

I don't know, a little bit of wobbly there in the end. He caught it, but did he catch it long enough? Case Keenham gets to, oh, they get, oh, not in time. Not in time. The challenge flag is degenerate gambling looking head coach. This fucking wife probably cries herself to sleep. That's such a terrible thing to say. Why would I say that?

All right, he's on the ground. He has it. He has it. He has it. He has it. He still has it. If they call this not a fucking catch, look at this shit. All right, there you go.

That's a catch. He's got it. He's got it. He's got it. He's got it. He's got it. What are they going to look at? Jesus fucking Christ,

how long do you have to have it? Oh my God. Now I've got to see this replay 58 fucking time. As you see right there, He has it against his navel and his fucking happy trail. This guy pleading his case. Take back your red hanky. All right.

I know you guys, I don't think you want to fucking live. I've really limited my goddamn audience here. Let's talk about fucking, let's limit it even more. And I'll talk to my six British fans over there. Man City. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Jesus Christ

It was like a full fucking bottle of water And it's Evion too And I fucking hate that shit Evian, there's minerals in it Yeah, I can taste it It tastes fucking weird Did the water rush through a plastic rock? Why does it taste so fucking awful?

I fucking hate Evian Anyways This must be like the best bottled water It tastes like shit And how do I know it's from the French Alps I don't drink anything Poland Spring, Desani Smart water

I'll drink that box water I don't give a shit Even though it tastes like you're drinking out of a shoe Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha That fucking wet cardboard I know it's better for the environment But Jesus Christ Ugh

You know what's the worst Was when you were a little kid And you drank out of the garden hose And you didn't realize it was sitting in the sun You'd have that fucking Hot blast of stale fucking water That'd probably been in there for a week Jesus Christ

So you know they're taking out your fucking small intestine All right, let's look up this Man City shit All right, Man City Man City lost 4 to 3 to Liverpool Now for those of you who live in the United States of Merca Of Merca Man City evidently was fucking undefeated The whole year

I guess that's really difficult That's difficult to do in any sport But I wasn't sure with soccer Just seems like you score one goal And the game's over but I will tell you lately, they've been four to three, seven goals,

you got to love that. Gotta fucking love that. They lost to Liverpool. Home of the fucking Beatles. That's all I know. It's all I know about that shit. Oh, let's talk about, let's talk about Donnie.

Donnie fucking Case Keatim sacked. I know, he got the ball up. Donald fucking Trump. I got to say something, man. That was a low, that is a low point in modern United States history. That's fucking saying something.

You just can't, you know, you know, you just can't, you can't, it's not even apologize to say, hey, you know, I shouldn't have said it that way. But bah, blah, blah, blah. That was just a fucking, like, I don't know what. And people's still sticking by the guy. What? He's the tail in like it is. All right.

Here's the number two guy. Number four is going to hold the ball. The little skinny guy. He kicks the ball. Right down the fucking. metal. It was a one-hot, one horn fly. What is the Minnesota Vikings? What is the Saints guy bitching about now? What is he complaining? I'll tell you right now. Okay. That fucking appanage, you would have said no catch. Yes, you would have. Yes, you would have. You're just like my

wife. You're just like my fucking wife. Jesus, you know you're fat when you can see a man tits under the windbreaker? Oh, he was saying the guy was down. All right, nobody cares, Bill. This is one of the worst podcasts I've ever done. I apologize. Okay. And I'm sure you guys will let me know. All right. Oh, so the burrito ended up getting like it just sucked. Wasn't wrapped tight or I guess I'm supposed to keep it in the foil. I have no fucking idea. And then the chicken was like overcooked. You know, this is what happens. This is what happens when you go to a city and you go, you know what? These people are known for this. And then you as a tourist don't know where to go and you just go out and get one. And then you go back to your city with the, the wrong information saying,

I went there, their burritos sucked. It didn't take. I could make a better burrito than that. That's like, you know, people go to Chicago, New York, and they say that their pizza sucks. It's like, well, who did you hang out with? Were you with people from the city? Did they tell you where to fuck to go?

Oh, you know what I wanted to look up? Because people are sitting there saying, oh, they got to impeach fucking Donald Trump. And it's just like, well, they impeached Bill Clinton. He got impeached. I was like, holy shit. he's going to have to leave and then he didn't. He just, why didn't Bill Clinton leave?

And then I'll just write impeached, right? That should get me. He's been impeached. There you go. Impeached. If Bill Clinton, why did he finish? If Bill Clinton was impeached, why did he finish up? I don't understand how he could have been impeached, but he did not leave office.

All right. Being impeached doesn't guarantee the. person impeach has to leave office. Here's some historical examples. The problem with your question is he was not impeached in a way to have to leave office. I see you really don't understand the difference between impeachment and having to leave office. Now, you didn't have to be that fucking cunty about it.

Not true. He was impeached for a public official impeached. This is just people arguing. Bill Clinton was acquitted. The Senate did not reach the two-thirds majority needed to fully process. impeachment. To further break it down, Clinton was impeached by the House on two charges, the first being perjury, the second being obstruction of justice. Following this, he was acquitted by the Senate. The impeachment process takes place in two steps. First, the president

has to stick a cigar in somebody's pussy. No, that's right. First, the president has to be impeached in the House of Representatives. That is the equivalent of an indictment. Ah, then the president is tried in the Senate with the chief justice of the United States presiding. Oh, this is why all the lefties are saying we got to fucking kill these elections in October so we can get Trump out. I was going, what the fuck are they talking about? So then they could actually indict him in the House and then impeach him in the Senate. It requires a two-thirds vote of the Senate to remove an impeachment. You think if he got impeached, right, if it went to the Senate and he got impeached.

Like, I actually think that he would leave before they took the vote. He would get on his own fucking plane, and he would just leave, and he'd be on the, like, just so his ego could handle it. Like, you know, you're not going to come walking in here and have me pack up my shit and have me escort it out, like I just get fired at, you know, some fucking corporation. All right? I haven't been, I don't take the amount of time that I take to comb my hair

over the top of my fucking head to be treated this way. All right, so evidently, they fucking didn't think the guy was down. I'm literally commentating a game that you already know the results of that you're not watching. This is the stupidest fucking thing I've ever done. All right, I'll be honest with you. I'm just, I'm fucking lonely, okay? I just felt like talking to somebody. Can you guys just be there for me?

All right, the fucking guy did his goddamn job. He hit it twice. Hey, how about a run? of applause for the person who's making the field goal kickers helmets now they finally you know they gave them like two bars you know remember back in the day they just had that like fred cox joe thysman all those guys just had that one bar across the front of their fucking i don't know i don't know how those people survived all right you know and this is going to be a mercy pause right here i'm going to just wait for all the information to come from my fucking podcast so i can actually do this

Okay, yes, we'll send over in five getting advertising now. All right, I still got advertising. All right, I'll talk to you in two seconds here. All right, I'm back, and I got all the materials I need here. By the way, oh, when the States, they fucking scored again. They're up by one point. That's where I am in the game. Vikings just got a pass interference call with number 19 or some shit on the Vikings.

who has the smallest shoulder pads I've ever seen in my life. Remember the 80s how big fucking shoulder pads were? What do they make those things out of now? I guess if everybody has small ones, then it's a fucking... It's a fair game. Oh, by the way, so basically what happened with Bill Clinton was he got indicted in the House of Representatives, and then when it went to the Senate,

they needed two-thirds of the vote, and none of the Democrats voted to impeach him. So that's how he got off. The liberals looked the other way with the sexual harassment. And, you know, it's all just politics. It's not like one side's better than the other. If it was a Republican, they would have voted the, they all would have voted the exact fucking opposite way,

except maybe one or two fucking actually decent human beings. And the result, but so Bill Clinton got acquitted, but he did lose his license to practice law because of that. And that fucking unbelievable. unfucking blow what a one of the hardest things I think is to become a lawyer just all like trying to pass the bar and all of that

you go through all of that shit and then what do you do you stick a cigar in some fucking woman's pussy that isn't your wife and then you lie about it and then all that studying goes right out the window Jesus Christ I love cigars and I love women but I'm telling you if I learned anything you got to keep them separate

All right. Okay, let's do some advertising here. Three reads. All right. Honey. All right. Number three, Bobby A. Bear. They brought him back from the fucking retirement.

He's loosening up his... Wouldn't he used to wear that number? He's fucking loosening up his leg here. To kick a fucking field goal, which would win it. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Was my prediction true? Are these poor Viking fans?

fans going to get fucked again. Are they going to be crying at the Mall of America? How many yards does he need? They need like another 15 yards. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Okay, here we go. The Vikings are one play away.

Unless this guy comes in and just hits like a fucking 70-yarder. Oh, you got to catch that. You got to catch that. He fucking, what a throw. It was right there. Drew Brees. Oh God, the coach has on his reading glasses. He's already in the off season.

He's going to be catcher in the rye or some shit. Come on, man. Come on, Drew. Why do I give a shit? The Vikings have had a drought. The Saints won in 2010. I just want to be right. I said the Saints are going to win.

I apologize. Everybody in Minneapolis. St. Paul, Duluth. Oh, no. First down. fucking fun. The Saints. Oh my God.

I have to turn this up. Oh my God. He's in the guy's field goal rage. Oh, no. You know what's funny? I love Minneapolis. I don't want you people to be sad. I was just joking around. Oh, Case Keaton, puts the hat on, takes it off, puts it on, holds his head.

How am I ever going to talk to my loved ones again? Holy shit. 10, 9, 8. Jesus Christ, Drew, what are we doing? knowing. I learned from Tony Romo. Oh, it's a play clock, you fucking moron. All right, 40 seconds to go. It's like, Jesus, he's nonchalant. I learned from Tony

Romo. You want to kick it with four seconds left. I think it's four seconds left because then you don't have to kick off. Like, that's how long a field goal takes? But with Tony Romo, after he's done bobbling and it probably takes 11 seconds. Oh, come on he shits on Dion Sanders. I can give him a little

fucking rough time. I love Tony Romo, by the way. All right. Practice T. All right, he kicked it. Okay, I put it into the net. 37 seconds to go. Oh, my God. It's just... The Mall of America.

Oh, God, why didn't I invest in the Kleenex store at the Mall of America? One of the dumbest things I ever did. Blitz! And Drew Brees fucking picked it up. It's a catch! Oh, I'm going to talk so much shit to Verzi. I'm going to talk so much shit to Verzi. Dude, what did I?

say I called it. Oh, the ball was babbling? No, he got it. He caught it. Did he catch it enough times for it to be a cat? No, that's not a catch. The little tail was hanging down the bottom. See, now here goes all the fucking drama. This is going to be 20 fucking minutes of this shit.

All right, I'm not even looking at this goddamn game at this point. That is not a catch. The Vikings. Come on, you've got to throw the challenge flag. Did the Vikings coach just come from the gun range? What is with those goddamn glasses. Da-da-da-da-da-da. You can see the point of the ball touches the ground right there.

Yeah, it's not a catch. Everybody knows it's not a catch for the fucking love of Christ. All right, this is hilarious. The first letter that I got this week. There's the water guy. Now, how did he know the guy wanted the water down his back? Wouldn't that be annoying?

Tub of fuck is the name of this one. Dear Billy Boozhound, I have been a big fan of the podcast and your stand-up for several years now. I am writing you to tell you that I owe you a lot. Oh, Jesus, look at this. It was about a year ago, I heard you first say

that every now and then you would look into the mirror and call yourself a tub of fuck. I do. I thought it was hilarious and it made me realize I was a tub of fuck as well. Hey, look at that.

We're born. fucking sound eye cloud preferences i don't know my password and you won't give me you won't give me a second chance so i don't want to update it all right since last february i have woken up every morning and told myself that i am a tub of fuck i made my phone wallpaper a picture of me when i was at my heaviest two 555 so whenever i unlock my phone there is a reminder of the tub of fuck i am and no longer want to be that's great i'm proud to announce that i have loved to announce that i have lost 70 pounds in 11 months. Dude, that's awesome.

And honestly, I owe you a big thanks for giving me the motivation to do this. Because of you and Joe Rogan, probably more Joe Rogan, he's actually in shape. I have done a lot of things in the last year that have taken me out of my comfort zone. You've been a great inspiration in my life in many different ways. Hope you and the loving Neil and the baby have a great 2018. From one tub of fuck to another. Go fuck yourself. Well, that was just, you know, for all you guys know, I wrote that.

There was really no question there. After further review, did he say that was a catch? What? How the fuck was that a catch? You saw that little cone of the ball? Case Keenham cannot grow a beard. God damn it, he's trying. What the fuck?

Oh, my God. Everybody's got on their granny glasses. All right, Drew Brees. What's he going to do? He's going to get any hands off the fucking ball, and nothing happens. but he didn't fumble it. All right, you guys want to listen to this shit? Do you want to listen to the sound of a bunch of 80,000 people

of already start crying and go to the Mall of America? If I ran the Mall of America, I would say free roller coaster rides for the entire month. Well, maybe for the week. You know, they've got to make their money over there. Can't imagine how much. Oh, my God. How does this always happen to the fucking Vikings?

It always happens to them when they're at home. Remember when they were like 15 and 1? The dirty birds came in and just somehow came in and fucking beat him. It's unreal. Didn't they have a game against like the fucking Redskins or something like that in 88? Well, they had the game won and then it just fucking went away. Ah, Jesus Christ. All right, here we go.

Bobby A. Bears fucking lining up for the kick. The kick is up. Oh, and it's good. Oh, no. No! Oh, when the Saints go marching in? Oh, my God. The game is not over because they got Case Keenham. What the fuck?

I'm already typing in capital letters to Paul Verzi. What the fuck did I say? What did I say? All right, let me turn this down. What did I do to the fucking thing? Is there an exit button? Exit. Holy fucking shit.

Shit. I can't. I can't fucking believe they came back and won this game. I just said, you know, I don't know shit about football. I just had a feeling. She had a feeling. I was like, Drew Breeze. He's like third all-time passing. He never gets to respect.

He fucking deserves. I think he's got, I said it last week on the podcast. Oh, I'm texting Paul Verzi, right fucking now. Paul Verzi. Should I do? I should wait, right? What if this guy takes it back? All right.

25 seconds left. Keenham is going to present his case that he is the key numb to them winning. Sorry. What the fuck? I mean, they did a bunch for Aaron Judge. I can't have fun with Case Keenham's name. That's what I'm going to do someday. You know, when I retire from being a comedian, I'm going to ghost write headlines for sports pages.

You know, and I'll finally get to do all my pun jokes that I'm not allowed to do in a comedy. You do a pun joke in a comedy club. You're going to get a grown. and you do enough of them, people are going to ask for their fucking money back, all right? The Daily News, the New York Post, all of these guys, they live on it.

Uh-oh, uh-oh, false start, false start. Everybody's pointing at everybody else. Oh, a little disco dancing. Oh, on the Vikings. Oh, geez, look at that guy. How much does his breath stink? That fucking beard. He's probably still got cereal in there.

Uh-oh, that wasn't good. That's not the way you want to start your two-minute offense. I liked the Vikings when I was a kid because purple was my favorite color. When I was a little kid, I wanted to be a painter. I like of art, I just wanted to paint houses. I thought it was going to, that would be a cool job. And, all right, prevent defense.

They're on the 38 yard line. Don't take a dumb penalty. I just wanted to paint houses. And I was going to paint everybody's house purple whether they liked it or not, because that was my favorite color. So right out of the gate, you know, I was a cunt. Oh, Jesus, here we go.

Paul Verzi, here we go. I'm actually going to text it right now, because if I'm wrong, you guys will, I will put the sound on. You'll get to listen to me, delete it. Dude, I fucking called it. Called it. Why is it so much fun being right about sports? It's probably because, you know, I'm so wrong in the rest of my life. It just feels good every once in a while.

Well, incomplete. It only took fucking two seconds off. All right, you know, this is going to be boring. The amount of time this is going to fucking take. Let me read the next goddamn question.

Is it going to be another love letter? Oh, Bill, tip on making oatmeal. Okay, I started eating steel-cut oats. And they have this gluey consistency unless you just keep stirring the fucking thing. He said, get an Instapot, and you can make steel-cut oats in like three to four minutes. They're like $90 on Amazon.

I should use honey. See if I can get it for 87. If you go to your website and click the link, they'll even throw you a little bit of cash there, chief. What the fuck is an Instapot? You mean like a microwave? Instapot? Let me see this.

It's like a vaporizer for oatmeal. Instapot. I need to Google a fucking picture of that. Instapot. That looks like a complete piece of shit. Oh, instant pot. Wait, is that what you wrote? Am I losing my mind? Where is it?

No, you wrote Instapot. It's instant, instant pot. Like I'll have this breakfast made in an instant. Oh, but then on Amazon, it says Instapot. Maybe the instant pot is fucking ripping them off. All right, what is it? It's balling on 30. What down is it?

Case Canaan, back for a fucking pass, throws the ball. Incomplete. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Yeah, that's what an Instapot is. 120 bucks. So this is just going to be something else in my fucking cupboard

because I can't wait an extra 26 minutes of my oats. You like how this person was just trying to help me out and I'm still being a jerk about him? I am into, I didn't see that. new Matt Damon movie about downsizing, but I am all about that shit. I just fucking, I had a lot of layoffs in my wardrobe. I just sent everything. I'm gonna be like three pairs of pants.

One black, one blue, and then just one for every shit moment of my fucking day. Uh, oh my God! That could not have just happened. Oh my God. I have to, I can't fucking believe. This is the greatest podcast ever. That could not have just happened. Happened.

Holy shit. All right. Wait. Unfucking believable. Oh, you know what? I didn't save the thing when I texted to Versey. I almost said, dude, I fucking called it. How did that fucking just happen?

On the last play of the game. And that he missed him and knocked his own guy down. You have to be fucking kidding me. I have literally seen it all. I cannot fucking believe that just happened. Are you fucking kidding me? Exactly. Case Keenham.

Oh, my God. I just thought when the guy caught it, I was like, holy fuck, are they going to have time to kick a field goal? Why won't anybody hug Case Keatom? Look at the wide receiver acting like he just did something. I mean, he caught the ball, but the Saints completely fucked up. He acted like he faked out that guy. Wow.

Oh my God. I don't know what the name of that saint is, but I got a feeling everybody's going to know that name by tonight. Holy shit. I cannot fucking believe that just happened. That was a nothing. When Drew Pearson caught that fucking ball, the Vikings are finally on the right side of one of these plays.

Holy shit. Oh my God. I cannot fucking believe. I cannot fucking believe that just happened. That was unbelievable. Happy for Minnesota, But Jesus Christ, sad for the saints. What the fuck?

Now, how, if you're that guy in the Saints that missed the guy completely? Didn't even put your fucking arms out and then took out another player. How do you go into that locker room? What do you say? What the fuck do you say? Oh, my God. What were the fucking odds I was going to be watching this game the entire time? Oh, Jesus, now the rest got a look.

Reviewing the score, it's a... He didn't step out of bounds. Don't take this away from football fans. Don't take this away. What did he do? He just put his head down. That's like some pop one or shit. Oh my God.

Reeling the field is confirmed. Look at the ref taking a lot of time here. He never gets cheered. We must kick the field goal. I just shut it off. I cannot. Wait a minute. I got to leave it on.

What if they fucking block it and score a fucking touchdown, right? I got to leave that on. I can't. I don't believe what I just saw. I cannot fucking believe that. How many times have I said that? That was fucking unbelievable. How do I follow this up with questions?

I just did all of that. Now my next question. Do you miss the Prius? I swear to God, that's the question. Oh, now they're going to clear the field. We have to fucking kick the extra point. The Saints are gone. Now they've got to come out of the locker room.

Can you imagine if the guy would just fuck that play? block this extra point and ran it back for a touchdown. That would be like watching a Tosh. Point O, like, you know, when he has the people be able to do their redemptions without needing Tosh. Point O, it would be a self-contained episode. All right, hang on a second. Let me fucking get my password in here. Let me read this Prius thing while we're waiting.

Okay, do you miss the Prius? What up, Billy Buick? I actually love a Buick. Back in the day, I love Buick. you know, when a Cadillac was a Cadillac and a Buick was like, you know, you weren't quite a Cadillac guy.

I wonder if this would have put him at least in field goal range. The worst fucking attempt ever at a fucking the fact that that guy is a safety. Oh my God. I don't fight.

I just, I've seen a lot of shit. I have seen a lot of shit. What the fuck? Anyways, do you... I know you're thrifty for years while driving your Prius, Bill. I was wondering if you still like driving a nicer vehicle or regret spending the money. I'm in the recovery from buying new vehicles. I wasted money for years on new cars and never really got any satisfaction from it.

For the past three years, I've been driving a 2007 Honda Accord. Awesome. And surprisingly, I'm pretty happy with it. Yeah, dude, once you get it paid off, it's a shit. I still have to fight the urge to buy a new ride often. Anyways, happy New Year. from down in Alabama. No, because I didn't buy a nice car until I could afford one.

That's a mistake a lot of people do. You know, they're trying to get some ladies' attention or whatever the fuck it is, or they just love cars so much. Like, if you're really, really a car guy, I understand, like, along the way you're going to have, like, nice cars. But I was always about paying off my house and getting the bankers off my back.

I was into that shit. This is what's fucked up. Is the Saints right now, they have a chance. A very small chance, but they have a chance, don't they? To block the extra point and return it for a touchdown. Can't that fucking happen? Anyways, yeah, I was always, I was always way into no debt

or working my way towards having no debt. like I just I can't stress that enough to young people when you get like a credit card and all that shit it's just like be be really careful with those things and you can't like um oh this is smart they're just going to go for a two point of conversion and just down the ball so that can't happen there you go that's smart my dumbass that's why I don't coach on any level um anyways the um yeah i was i just was always into like just not being in debt you know it just absolutely paralyzes you and it affects your ability to go after what you want to go after i've told this story before like i kept a day job until i moved to new york the first three and a half years

i was a comedian probably the last year well actually it's not true because i was still living in home with my parents i could have basically you know, said, hey, can you help support me with my dream? And I could have just been sitting around the house and just making comedy money. But I continued to work. And before I moved down to New York, I paid off everything. I paid off my student loans. I paid off my car, which died right before I went to New York.

And I saved up a chunk of money. And I just moved down in New York. And I was never a ramen noodle guy. I definitely ate a lot of fucking rigatone and spaghetti and shit. And I just did that. So when I finally got it, when I finally bought myself a nice car, I could afford it and felt like I earned it. And yeah, I loved it. But I also loved the Prius.

The Prius is a fucking great car, you know? Cheapest shit to fucking own. It's never a problem. You can park it wherever you want. No one's trying to steal a fucking Prius. You know, I always joked like, you know, once mine was like eight or nine years old, I literally could leave that thing on with the door open in the middle of a fucking, you know, riot and no one would take it. Like, you know, whenever they do the trap car, they try to get people to steal that car, they've never,

I will be willing to bet they never did that with the fucking Prius. Now, I want to know how many of those Viking fans stuck around. You know some people left. You know that they fucking left. And as they were winding down the fucking stairs, they just heard everybody going, Oh my God. Oh, my God. And they had to fucking run their fat asses back up there.

Congratulations to the Vikings. Holy shit. The Vikings did not win that game. That was the biggest fuck up I have seen in a long goddamn time. Ah, Drew Brees. And once again, Drew Brees, the silent assassin. Nobody knows how good that guy is. And now he's not going to get to prove it in the NFC championship game,

potentially trying to win a Super Bowl. Oh, tragedy. All right. Bulletproof glass. bullshit. Dear Billy Dad bought, you know, that hurts. I was listening to your podcast a while back where you read someone's email concerning owning a store with a bulletproof glass where his grandfather was almost killed and he was outraged at the mandate and claimed the person pushing the bill said bulletproof windows are racist. I just wanted to point out that it was

bullshit. Most people in this country who get outraged over the things are oftentimes just misinformed. And because we live in a consumer culture where the customer is always right, no, they're not. That's old school. The customer is not right. The customer can go fuck themselves and talk to a fucking robot on the phone. If you're bleeding to death, press two, the mindset has transitioned to politicians

saying the citizens are hardworking, honest, honorable Americans, rather than saying the truth. Most citizens are ignorant, entitled tribal mouth. tribal mouth breathers. Sir, I don't know at what point in political history politicians were saying that. They never said that either. So you're kind of speaking in hyperbole,

I believe is the expression. But I understand what you're saying. You're trying to build up your point. This is the bill that was proposed regarding bulletproof windows. I'm not fucking reading all of that. It's regarding restaurants and no other places of business.

So that person that wrote you in fear of having his bulletproof glass band is basically an outrage over nothing. Oh, in outrage. No, in outrage, you mean no deal. It doesn't even affect him or his grandfather. Well, that's good. It was never called racist.

We want to make sure that there isn't this sort of indignity, in my opinion, to serving food through a plexigas only in certain neighborhoods. What? That doesn't make sense. Well, who are you to say it's indignant? Ah, you know what? That's sneaky.

He writing right there. You're going to get offended for people? I don't understand what's going on here. It was never called racist. We want to make sure that there isn't this sort of indignity, in my opinion, to serving food through a plexiglass only in a certain neighborhoods. Well, whenever I was doing gigs in bad neighborhoods and they had that fucking bulletproof glass, I always looked at it.

Okay, heads up. Keep your head on a swivel. I appreciated it being there. I didn't feel like fucking... I don't know what you're trying to do here, but I am in favor of hurting some people's feelings if it keeps people who want to just have the honest job of working at a restaurant alive.

I would be in favor of it. I don't think it's plexiglass. Is it? Plexiglass stops a bullet? I don't fuck it, no. That's from Philadelphia Councilwoman Cindy Bass. All right. Let's look up Cindy Bass.

Cindy can be your friend. Pretend she's your fucking councilman. Why does it always take me to fucking Wikipedia now? What the fuck? Where are we? Cindy Bass, images. Cindy Bass appears to be African American. All right. So this person was saying that she was being racist.

Now, according to some people, it's impossible for a black person to be racist. I don't even know what the fuck is going on right now. I don't know. All I know is if I worked in a goddamn restaurant and somebody nearby had shot someone in a restaurant to the point that somebody felt that there needed to be some fucking glass up there, I would want it. But who the fuck am I to say what people need in their neighborhood?

How the fuck did I get signed out of that thing? Hey, when it signs you out and goes, you want to make a report? No, I don't have time for that shit. Who has time to do that? I was trying to do a podcast, and all of a sudden I was signed out. It was never called. While I still don't agree that any type of business should be mandated to remove a type of security for whatever, it was websites like steadfast and loyal.com that wrote bulletproof glass is now racist in their title.

However, you know what? I actually understand what you're saying here because that type of shit happens to comedians all the time. Where they just, you know, they float something out there, Huffington Post, and then they try to get you in trouble or make it more sensationalized so they can get views. However, in the body of the article, they admitted that the councilwoman

never used those words, but of course most people don't read beyond this article. Yeah, see, I mean, that's the internet. There's really no, there's no libel, there's no... I cannot fucking...

I gotta hear what this guy said. God cared. God cared that this guy yes. God cared. The other guy had too much. devil in him. The safety on the saints, he prayed to the devil. That's what happened. And the devil misled him to tackle air, to tackle his own fucking teammate. I know you're a comedian and not some fucking political correspondent, so it's not like I'm trying to hold you up to some Barbara Walters type of standard. But I know some people in your audience

forget that and believe everything they read and everything they hear that feeds into what they already believe. Like you said, I am right.com. Yeah, well, dude, nobody's coming to this fucking website to become informed. Okay. Don't put that on me. Okay? I did not pursue that, which is why I became a comedian. All right.

I tried the serious world. It didn't fucking work out for me. I failed miserly. Okay, failed my wife. All right. Dear Billy Buddy Guy. My wife and I have been married for a year and a half. We both have a child from prior relationships and a seventh month old daughter together.

She's an angel, by the way. Of course she is. She is Latina, and I only bring that up because she fits all the fiery stereotypes, both good and bad. She completes my life with this, although arguments can get very difficult. Dude, I thought you were talking about your seven-month-old. That's fucking hilarious. She went right into that. I thought you were going to have arguments with a seven-month-old, and she's fiery.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. That's fucking talking gibberish. Okay, your wife. Okay, she's Latina, and I only bring that up because she fits all these stereotypes. She completes my life, I love, blah, blah. I have some of the same temper issues that you use to describe yourself and your bit about kneeling on the ball when I'm right has paid off huge. So thank you for that.

Yeah, I wish I should probably rewatch that bit because I have not been doing that lately. I've been airing it out. Anyway, to cut to the chase, we decided together to fight for primary custody of my son. The case is very complicated, but for the sake of everyone listening, I'll summarize it with as few details as possible. In family court before appearing in front of a judge, there is a conference where a mediator tries everything they can to make sure you can come to an agreement and avoid a judge deciding. My wife and I had a plan going in to not cut a deal with my ex at the conference and hold out for a judge to rule on custody. However, I had no idea the level of pressure that they'd be able to put on me and I buckled under it and made a deal for the next year. Then I had to go home and explain to my wife that I had failed our plan.

I don't know if you've ever completely disappointed your woman, but this is the worst feeling in the world. Well, wait a minute. She's going to judge you because they probably used your love of your own kid. Right? Against you? Anyways, and as you can imagine over the past day or so, she's cutting me into it. me it's just about every opportunity for all the little failures and i can see it right in her eyes that her man had a moment of weakness and didn't come through in the clutch worse is that she absolutely

hates my ex and feels like i let her get the better of me us yeah i you know kind of had a feeling yeah okay all right oh geez you're in the middle of that you're in the middle of two ladies you have ever disappointed your woman with a grand fuck up about every three days. I guess a good boxing analogy is that my hands are down, and I don't know how long to let her continue jabbing at me until I put them back up. Thanks and go fuck yourself.

I wouldn't take another ounce of shit from her. You need to sit down and talk to her and be like, wait a minute. I'm trying to get my kid back. I'm going back with all of this emotion. Wait, let me make sure this is. You decided together to get primary custody of your son. Now, whose idea was that? Was that totally yours?

or was the hatred your wife has of your ex-wife played into the thing? I don't know, dude. I don't know what's going on, but it sounds when it went into my head. Okay, now notice, know that everything that you say is now perverted because it went into my brain. As I say, once you say something, it's not what you said anymore. It's cut with the other person's experiences. It's like drugs that have been stepped on. What you said was pure cocaine.

now it's in my head and there's all this ex laxif, fucking laxatives getting fucking put in it. All I hear is that your wife, your current wife resents your previous fucking wife. And she's doing that woman thing where they don't solve things with their fists. They try to fucking make, they just do that thing

when they try to make the other woman as miserable as they possibly can. And she knows probably how much it would break your ex-wife's heart to lose, primary custody of your son and she really wanted to do that to her because that would make her feel better and more secure in your relationship i don't fucking know i have no idea to do there's too many fucking variables here but um i wouldn't take an ounce of shit if i had a son from a previous marriage and you know i was trying to do what you were doing and then i caved under that pressure

my wife wouldn't understand it if she ever gave me shit i would be stunned and then i would fucking read her the riot act and i would go out to a bar and have a couple of cold ones there that's what I would do. Okay? Now, I get into a lot of arguments in my relationship, so you probably don't want to listen to me. I have no professional background. Okay? I'm the type of man that already types out, dude, I called it with 25 seconds left. It fucking jinxes the saints. Maybe it was my fault. All right. I don't know what the fuck that was, but you can't say it wasn't compelling if you're a football fan. Everybody else, I apologize to go fuck yourselves, and I'll check it on you on Thursday. What's off everybody and welcome back to the Anything Better podcast.

NFL edition for, oh my God, going into divisional weekend. What a wild card weekend it was. I'm your host, Paul Verze. Bill Burr is your host over there. We have the Greek freak in Beverly Hills and we have Jake the Snake with our injury report from an undisclosed area. As always, nobody knows where Jake the Snake is. But what we do know is that he has. The ladies know where he is.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, the latest is nowhere he is. I'm not going to lie. Me and Bill crushed Wildcard Week. Well, you were 5 and 0 at one point. I was 5 and 0 at one point. And what did I tell you, though, dude? That, that, that, my stupid, stupid, stupid fucking speech, oh, Aaron Rogers and Tomlin are going to have a meeting alone and say, let's fucking stick it up everybody.

It was a, it was a pipe. It probably did. It just didn't happen. No, it didn't happen. What are you going to do? How about Tomlin? What a run, huh? Dude, Tomlin and Harbaugh. Harbaugh, the new coach. By the way, I'm very happy. My New York Giants, I have John Harbaugh is the new coach of the New York Giants. Thank God.

They got somebody in there with a, you know, with actually a record like Tom Coughlin, first time since Tom Cofflin. He is going to turn that team around. Like, that guy is not, the game is not past him by. No. It was just time. It was just time. And I think the same thing with Tomlin. I love how Tomlin, such a prideful guy that he was like, I'm just calling the Steelers. I don't know if you heard what he did, but he didn't even, I guess the Steelers wanted to have a meeting with him.

And apparently the Steelers said, dude, we're going to run this back with you, you know, for your 20th year. And he was just like, you know, he's got the fans cheering fire Tomlin. And he's like, dude, you know what? My time is done here. And thank you. No thank you. I'm done.

And both great coaches, dude. Amazing coaches. You know what's insane is I'm going to be 58 years old in June and I look this good. They have had the Steelers have had three coaches in my lifetime, I think. I think Chuck Noel, maybe he started in 69. I was born in 68. Dude, the Steelers have had two coaches since Chuck Noel. Steelers have had two coaches in my lifetime.

No, three. Chuck Noel was still a coach when you were born. Oh, was he? When did he end? When did he stop? Like 83, 84, 85, somewhere like the mid-80s. After Terry, Lambert, Mel Blonde, all of those guys left. All the super sealers were gone. Then he retired.

And then Bill Cower, let's go. He was the first guy. Let's go. He was the first guy saying that, I feel. And then after him was my tongue. And everybody is one, like, Noel got four. Cowher got one. Tomlin got one or got one?

Tomlin went to two, got one. Got one, yep. So, I mean, that's a hell of an organization, dude. It's a hell of an organization. You got to give it up to the Steelers. Amazing. Amazing. No, I'm really glad the Giants actually have some young weapons

and now a coach to build it. You know, and then Bill, you lost with the Eagles, and I lost with the Steelers. than that, we fucking five and one. Dude, Bill and I, we go 10 and two. Ten and two. You know, somebody reached out and goes, you guys wanted me some money. I had some fans reach out, go you guys wanted me some money. Nice. That's what we're here for, Paul. Give us some laughs and maybe we make them some money. Always make them laugh. Don't always make them money. This past week, we made him some money. Here's what I learned over the week. I learned that Josh Allen will make a

big time throw that not many guys could make in a big moment and seem unfazed. And I also learned that that Caleb Williams kid, the quarterback of the Bears, is actually really good, like really good. You know, I- You know what he's really good at? He's good at rolling out, running. Yeah. And throwing unbelievably accurate over 20 yards down the field. Like his mobility, extending the play and all of that. Like, it was weird, dude. Like, the first half, I mean, he was, didn't look like he was good. It was like, I don't know what happened in that game. I don't understand why the Packers were stopping them.

You know, I can just say halftime adjustments. Like, I don't know what they did. Like the Patriots charges, I was what, my brother knows a lot about football. He was going like, yeah, I go, this game's getting kind of ugly, and he was just going like, well, you know, what I said. I said, dude, we've got two good running backs. They're going to eat up the clock. The charges completely took that away from us.

And then we were trying to throw our passes. is that the running game usually sets up and their defensive backs were too good. But when we started dumping it off to the tight end underneath, I think that kind of loosened stuff up for us. But I don't know what the hell happened in that Packers game all of a sudden. But I will say Jordan Love to the end was throwing strikes. They didn't catch them.

Yeah. There was that one right over the fucking middle. That guy caught it. He would have gone right in the end zone. And that would have been it. What about A.J. Brown of the Eagles, dude? I mean, that was right in his hands. That changes everything.

He dropped it. He was the guy complaining all year, and he dropped it. A lot of drops this year, but you're right. Dude, Caleb Williams running left and then just like on the run just through a fucking unbelievable ball out. That kid is for real. Like, if they get him, you know, I don't know what they're on. I don't know much about the Bears.

I'm an AFC guy. But like, if that kid has an offensive line and people to throw to, you obviously, you know, that's the dream. so you can see, you've got to give your quarterback that. Because if you don't have those two things, you're not going to be able to see what their capabilities are, which is why it's a curse to be the most highly touted quarterback in the draft because you're going to go to a team with no offensive line and nobody to throw to,

and then they give you a big sack of money, and all the fans are like, this guy's the fucking bust, and he's out there running for his life. So that's why I love Baker Mayfield Because he went to the fucking Browns In places where quarterbacks go to die And you also happen with this Williams kid People go quarterbacks go to Chicago to die

And this fucking guy is is you know I wouldn't say thriving But he's doing better than anybody I've seen in a long time Yeah and the thing about him that I noticed And like I said that's why I kind of picked him a lot all year Is he does it in the fourth quarter a lot As the game gets more tight and there's more pressure on the kid,

he makes bigger throws, which to me is a winner. By the way, speaking of winners. The Bears could have quit, dude, on that last, when the Patriots came back, you know, after they came back, and they went up by a couple of points,

and the Packers came back and scored a touchdown, not a field goal. Like, a team can get down on themselves. They didn't. So good job with the players and the coaches and all. Oh, gee, Billy compliments this week, Paulie.

And how about this? The Bears don't have a huge, big-time receiver. You give that kid a big receiver, too, man. That team could be dangerous. But by the way, speaking of winners, Bill, speaking of winners, not only did you almost beat the book, you were a game and a half off, but then you win five. So technically, my friend, technically, if we count everything, you are over that mountain, baby. No, no, I lost by a couple. I needed to go three and one, and I went one and three. So I'm at least two under.

Well, you won five. What I was already under. So I'm like, I think I'm about even, Paul. Billy wins some, lose some. No, no, you're over. That tax isn't, and me going 500, Paul. You're not going to lose your house, but you're not putting on an addition. Hey, that's why we say bet responsibly.

Speaking of bet responsibly, guys, we got to shout out our, before we bring in Jake the Snake for our injury report, we are going to shout out our sponsor. It's BetMGM. We've been with them for years. We love them. The best lines out there, guys. You know how to do it. All you do is take your device and you download the BetMGM app to that device, and you use

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So Jake, tell us what you got for the last four games this, or for the four games this week in divisional weekend. What do we got? Yeah, we're fortunate. It's not too bad of injury this week. But in the Patriots, Texans game, we have the Patriots best defensive back and the Texans best receivers. That's Nico Collins for the Texans.

And Christian Gonzalez, they both left the weekend's games with head injuries. it seems like Christian Gonzalez is more likely to play than Nico Collins, but hopefully they're both out there, but they both have concussions. So something to monitor. That Gonzalez, I can tell you, it's a shutdown corner. They don't even throw his way. Amazing, Claire. Yeah, so that's a big.

Wait a minute, but doesn't the NFL have a rule if you get a concussion in the game? Isn't there a minimum of a, don't you have to miss a game or no? If you make it through the protocol or whatever, then you can play. But it's been stricter this year, but I'm sure for the playoffs, it might be a little, you know, looser. So I'm not sure what the exact policy is there, but that's kind of like we have to get through to play. And then we all saw, but George Kittle tore as Achilles against the Eagles. So he's obviously done for the year. Really unfortunate. The Niners just have been dealing with injuries all year. And then last one is also the Niners. Fred Warner is trying to come back,

the outstanding linebacker for the Niners. But we'll see. He seems like a long shot to play as now, but they've activated him from the IR. So he has a chance, but it's a very slim one. So that's kind of like the big the big injuries i i see and i love i know go ahead i was going to say jake you're just like even though it's the end of the year you're in you're in midseason form i mean you that was um you're coming in hot yeah and i love your um i love the giants hire uh john harbos i was when i was like what are their best fits for him like that's that that couldn't be a better place and i think that has to crush jet fans so that has to crush them dude it's just like because you know you guys couldn't really talk too much shit this year because

because you suck, too. But like the Giants, even when they, they don't suck for a long time. And the Jets, the Jets have type 1 diabetes. The Giants have type 2. Like, you know, you can eat your way in and eat your way out. You know, yeah. Sorry to bring up that reference. I'm just waking up too, Paul. We're going to get some emails on that. You know, I assume with type 1 diabetes. will we want to be your insulin injection this week. Okay, let's try to pick some winners here, Paul. I can tell you, as a Patriots fan, I don't want to play any team that's left in the

AFC. These are all fucking good teams. Andrew, can you pull up so we can take a look at here? I feel like the NFC is more wide open. This is anybody's Super Bowl this year, dude. It really is. I'll go first on this one, and then, Bill, you tell me what you think. We just say one thing first?

Yeah. At the beginning of the year, if you would tell me that Kansas City, the Ravens, the Lions, the Lions, who else just people you would just assume would be, like, those are the big three. No Eagles, yeah, I would have thought that, but, you know, after, like, all of those teams weren't. weren't there for the whole fucking playoffs except for the Eagles. Like I would never have guessed the Patriots. Seahawks, I had no idea. They were going to be

like that or certainly not the Bears. So this is a weird year, Paul. It's a weird year. Yeah, you off the one seat. All right, well, this one was, I'm glad this game, the first game we're looking at is Bill's Broncos because this was the easiest one for me as far as what I thought. I instantly thought it.

and I'm sticking to it. Josh Allen is going to win this game. I think the bills are going to win this game. I think that I just, I don't know, man. Bow Nix has not won a playoff game yet. The Broncos have inexperienced. I also don't like that an inexperienced team has a buy week and a team like the bills coming in.

And it's a one point spread. Andrew, it says one and a half and one. Which one is it? That would change. So, yeah, it's, it's, That's one. Let me... Okay.

So this is basically a pick-em. It's a pick-um. I'm taking the bills all day. I'm taking Josh Allen. I think that this is a year for him without the Chiefs. So that's what I'm doing. That's my pick. All right.

I love what you're saying there, Paul. But I think the Broncos are going to beat him, and then there's going to be a big shake-up in Buffalo. Wow. Because all of their... There's nobody... Everybody who beats them every year is not in the playoffs. I just think the Broncos are, they're at home.

They've got a great defense. I think, you know, there's a reason why it's a one-point spread. This is going to come. There's plenty of time. It's going to be one of these fucking games. And who the hell was I watching? Shout out to the fucking bears, by the way, for playing 60 minutes of football. that, you know, once they went up,

they were right up on the line on that final drive, on that final drive. They weren't doing that, like, they give you like a fucking 12-yard cushion. So it's just first down, first down, first down, all the way down. And then, you know, let's wait to play defense

when we get in the red zone. So, but even with that, the fucking Packers still went down the field. What am I babbling about? I'm taking the Broncos. Take a Broncos, Paul, just to make it interesting because I actually, on paper what you said makes sense to me.

All right. I like that. The first one head to head, it's nice. All right. So here's the next one. Forty-nine is Seahawks. Seahawks are looking like a fucking juggernaut. Forty-niners have a huge injury. But, you know, this has happened to them all year. And they've been in games the whole year. And that's a really disgustingly huge disrespectful spread. And I like the 49ers. I like Brock Purdy. I like their coach. Shanahan, who I was calling fucking Schottenheimer. It's Peyton.

No, no, 49ers. Oh, okay. 49ers. I'm going to take the 49ers getting seven points. It's a division rivalry. They know each other. It's a playoff game. I think, you know,

teams have a tendency to go up and then try not to lose, which is, you know, a big spread like that. That's a big number to cover, Paul, in January. Yeah. And as much as the 49ers are hurt, I'm guaranteeing you. The Seahawks are hurt. Everybody's hurt this time of year, undisclosed shit.

I want to, all right, well, the nice thing is we're going head-to-head a lot this week, because I want to believe that. I want to believe that. And I want that to happen because I love the 49ers organization. But I think no kiddle. I just think that it's going to run out on them. I think the Seahawks defense is nuts. Sam Darnold has to prove it,

but I think a touchdown is something they can do against this team that's banged up. I hope I'm wrong, but I'm going to take the Seahawks to cover that. Yeah, he seems to put each other too. It felt like a mismatch, but, you know, Purdy's really stepped it up. I mean, he's looked great these last few weeks. Yeah, Purdy's great.

Who won the last time they played? They played not long ago, right? Yeah, it was the last game of the year. Seattle won, so that's why the one. That was for the one seat, so that Seattle's now the one seat. What they win by? What was that score? Oh, good question.

I'll look up real fast. All right. They kind of pulled away, but it was close early. What do you think, Bill, your Texans and Patriots, I know where you're going here. You have to go. I know, I know. I am scared to death of the Texans. They have an unbelievable defense.

They have a great coach. They got the whole thing. They have the team to go into Foxborough and win the fucking game. But, you know, this is your pick, but you know who I'm already. This is yours. But you know where I'm going with this. This is the hardest one for me. I've been going back and forth in my mind.

Nico Collins being out really changes things. I think if Nico Collins is in this game, I think the Texas could win. Nico Collins is not in this game, dude. And C.J. Stroud doesn't have a big wide receiver to throw to. I am stuck with this. It's a perfect number three. It's just Vegas being that asshole

that you're just like shaking your head at. I mean, this is as much of a – I know it's all a coin. Yeah, this was for Paul. It's a no-brainer. You're going on Texas. Oh, this is four. This is just, dude, Nico Collins being out, and we don't know if he's going to play.

The team has push written all over it. It really does. It really does. And who's favored? The Patriots are favored. Yep. That's not the ring one, too. And look at that number, too, Paul.

Look at that over under, 40 and a half. That's a compliment to both teams. Oh, my God. Unless you look at us offensively. The defensive line. The defensive line is so crazy. Every time I watch the Texans this year, the defensive line is crazy,

but I don't know if C.J. Strauss got anybody to throw to. Look, since we're going head-to-head on all of them, I could see the Patriots winning this game big, but I could see that the Texans. All right, look, I'm just going to say, I love the look away. I love it. I really like this one. Hey, can I get a pass?

Let's just not do this one. I'll take the Texans just to make it interesting because you're taking the pads. This is a push game. I'll be honest. Dude, if it wasn't a Patriots, I would take the Texans. I'm going to take the Texans just because it's three. And like you said, they're getting three.

And when a defense that good gets three, I'll take them. But I don't know about that game. I'm just going to take the Texas. It's the last week. I would be honest with you, dude, their number one receiver being out would not scare me. You know, you don't throw to that guy every time. And there's somebody's going to step up. I know, but he changes the defensive schemes.

I would take the Texans. I believe in that team, but I am a Patriots fan. And I'm from the South Shore. That was a 15-minute drive for me, Pauley. I know. And I was wrong last week about the weather. The weather was wrong. Well, Steelers and Pats, they said there might be some snow

or some precipitation. There was none. This week it says that there could be some snow and showers in Foxborough. Andrew, save that for the Chicago game, It's supposed to be freezing there. It's supposed to have a little bit of six. I'm taking the Patriots minus three. Because you have to.

Because I have to. And as a fan, I'm just happy to be here. Yeah. As you should be. You know what, though, Bill, I got to say, as much as you can't throw to your best receiver, it changes the defensive scheme, him being out there. And I think you guys are taking them away anyway.

to a certain extent. So, it's like, you know, and then they, like last week, they took away a running game, so you have to beat him another way. Like, that's Belichick, you know, if anybody learned, I don't know where Belichick learned it, but that's what he would do. It's like, all right, what is their biggest asset? We'll take away. Like, we're going to have, it's like you'll make you throw with your left hand.

And you guys have good defensive backs. You guys have good defensive backs, too. No, but Gonzalez is out. Well, not definitely, no. Yeah. Well, you know, he got his fucking head rattled. All right, here we go. The last game of the divisional weekend is the Rams versus the Bears.

It's a perfect spread, of course, because that little point, that little dot five will make you lose sleep. Oh, that point five has gotten me, buddy. The Bears are home. Oh my God. Matthew Stafford having the season he's having Pooka Nakuwa. It's a perfect number. Polly, looking down a lot.

You're very like... This is tough. This is tough, dude, because Caleb Williams, they're like a fourth quarter team. The bears are like down 15 and they're not out of it, ever. All right, let's not get crazy. Let's not, let's, you know,

they fucking came back against the Packers. They're also still the goddamn bears. All right? Let's not like, you know, Let's not crown them just yet. You want to crown them? You want to crown them? Chicago fans were exactly who we thought they were.

And we let them out of the hook. That's, that's, um, you know what, Bill? 20 degrees. Jake's right. It's going to be very cold. What times of the game? It's a night game. It's going to be 11.

Eight degrees in that game with a negative six wind show. All right. Yeah. All right. You ready? I just flipped my mind. mind. I'm going to do it. I did hear, and I don't know if I don't know if this is true, I did hear that Matthew Stafford's record under like 40 degrees. It's like one and eight. I'm going to take the,

I'm going to take the home team on this run getting, getting three and a half. Are they getting three? Yeah, the bears are getting three and a half at home. Soldier Field is going to be so cold. And Caleb Williams has now, you know, from what I've seen, he's up for the moment. He's up for the big moment. I'm going to take the bears getting three and a half against Matthew Stafford and the Rams. Paul, the numbers speak one in record cold, rainy or snowy games since joining the Rams. His performance in such conditions shows a 54 and a half percent completion percentage, 14 touchdowns, 11 interceptions, 76 passer ratings in 90s below 40. Some of those games, he was playing with the Lions and they were terrible teams. I hate

Like that. I know. I understand. Like what is the fucking MVP of the league doesn't try when it's cold out? Right. It's ridiculous. Okay. On paper, the Rams should easily cover this.

Yep. With experience, with the coaches where they've been and all that type of stuff. My thing is it's the playoffs. I believe in the Bears. It's the half a point. It is the half a point. I also, I do feel that the cold weather is better for defense. And the fact that they're just putting this on Matthew Saffert,

it's harder to catch a ball. Coming at you, it's like a fucking cinder block. I think that all of that's good for the bears, plus their home and the half a point, and the half a point. Yeah. I see the, I think the bears go to the NFC championship game and then they turn into a pumpkin.

That's what I think. That's what I think happens over there. So you're going to be bummed out, and they're going to have their hot dog, but then think, well, hey, they got that. It's going to be like a Patriots thing, you know, like this year, how far can we go? The future's looking bright. So that's my, I'm taking the Bears getting three and a half at home.

All right. So the only one me and Bill agree on is the last game of the weekend, which is fun. There you guys have it. Those are our picks. And yeah, I mean, that's it. What do we look at this? Perfect timing, Andrew, right? What else do we got to do here?

What do we have to? There's no Monday night special. That's what it is. Jake, you want to hit them with your picks, Jake? Yeah, I think I picked everything Paul picked, except I'm going Rams at the end. So I really like the Bills. That'd be my favorite pick.

I really like Seattle. I think just because Paul has said it as well, I think the Niners injuries are just going to catch up to them there, and I think they're going to pull away. And then Houston's defense is just too good. This is the best defense I think I've seen in like a decade. this is like Legion of Boom. You have to go back to something like that.

They're just unstoppable. Oh, Lord 2. Boom. Legion of Boom. How many those guys tested positive for steroids and nobody gave them shit for fucking cheating? It's such fucking bullshit. Dude, they're like three players on fucking steroids.

That was Sherman. Yeah, right into your right butt cheek, your fucking cheap pieces of shit. With that fucking stupid stadium that's like designed to make their proud sound even louder. That the fucking shit. The fucking shit you can get away with in Seattle is why Robinson Canoe decided to play there. Oh, shots fired, Paul.

Oof. No. Nobody's paying attention up there. You're halfway to fucking Russia. The Reds Bears is the toughest games, but I just think I'm taking the better team with the better defense and a better offense. But I think the Bears is the blueprint for how you want to build a team. You look at Caleb Williams. He was sacked.

Some crazy amount last year. I don't remember the exact number. now you look this year they built up they beefed up the middle of the O line they got a new coach in there that's what the chargers need to do other than getting a new coach in there they need to fix that o lineup and then you see what happens this is exactly the blueprint for how to make a deep run in the playoffs then the bears are going to be really good for a long time jake i'm so happy you don't talk a lot in this podcast because you really know your shit you make me look like an idiot no you guys talking about like um short up the pressure on the side earlier you guys had some really good

I was like, dang, I didn't think about that. I love when you give me a little pat on the head. Thanks, Jake. You said something 20 minutes ago that kind of made sense. Paul, where are you going to be? What do you got coming up? Where's Paul Versey going to be bringing his vibe? Where am I going to be?

Well, actually, you know what? You guys? Oh, yeah, because we're going to be, we only have two more weeks of this, guys. I don't have two more weeks. We only have two more weeks. I'm only going to say that, Paul. Don't talk like that. Jake, I'm going to miss that haircut.

Jake. I'm going to miss you. I'm going to miss the blurry background. I'm going to miss the women sneaking out. Guys, we live vicariously through you. But I will tell you, I will tell you a hot ticket going around. Valentine, a month, a month away, Valentine's Day weekend, I'm doing five shows in Tampa. I'm running my hour five times at side splitters in Tampa from February 12th to February 14th. Dude, one of the best clubs. in the country. So get tickets to that. Tickets are going. I'm told they're going to sell out. Go to that one and Paul Verzi.com for dates. Oh, oh, oh, I'm going to be in L.A. I think I'm doing doing something in L.A. They're trying to get me, it's last minute. So I'm like, hey, can you get me an

hour somewhere? But there's a room. I think I'm going to be doing it called the Lab at the Improv, I think. Oh, yeah. The Lab at the Improv, Hollywood Improv. I think I'm going to run that on February 17th, I think, but I'll let you guys know. But by the way, I wanted to talk about this real quick because it's a cool thing to talk. Yeah, Paul will look over your picks up at the bar after. I'm going to be doing a meet and greet,

and I'm doing a meet and greet, and I'll look at your NBA sheet. Dude, did you see the handshake? The handshake of the Bears Packers was nuts, dude, where, like, apparently they don't like each other. So, like, the Packers was, like, really quick the other time. So then this time, the Chicago guy, he just runs out. Dude, doesn't look at him, puts his hand out and just takes it away and runs off.

And they asked him in the interview. And it was so awesome, he goes, yeah, because we don't like each other. He's like, we don't like them. They don't like us. I'm not going to. And it was just so honest. But, I mean, a little shitty sportsmanship, but it was funny. It was funny.

No, I like that. I like that. I love a rivalry. I mean, you look at that NFC North going forward. You're going to have Campbell, Jordan Love, Joe Williams. and then the Vikings are, you know, always are going to bring it too. So that division is going to be a lot of fun for the next five years or so. It is.

And then the Lions being like, what the fuck? I thought this was our division. Which is crazy. I didn't even realize they had a force record. They had the same record as the Vikings, but the Vikings swept them. So Lions finished last in the division, going from the one seat to last in the division. It's crazy. Not to shift gears too much.

You guys hear the Royals might have been talking to officials in National. No, they moved the Kansas City Royals. If I read it right. Then they move the ballpark in like 10 feet or something. They moved to like the home run line. I saw that too. I don't know. I don't know if that's really.

I heard that there was talks that they were taking meetings. And just like the teams are just really. Yeah. No, there's still the Royals, you know. No. To go to Nashville. There's other teams like. The Oilers.

Like the Miami Marlins. Oh, the fact that there's not a team in the NFL called the Oilers, when you look at our foreign policy, it was one of the most accurately named teams out there. How about the Houston false flags? By the way, how great were the Houston Oilers? We should just own what we're doing. The Nogal natural resources. The conglomerates. The conglomerates.

The Tallahassee. too big to fails. The Philadelphia pharmaceuticals. It's just a needle. It's just a needle on the helmet. It's a drip coming out of the syringe. The Orlando opioids. I will say this. I will say this. The Houston Oilers uniform was, dude, the Houston Oilers uniform was incredible, dude. Fantastic. Oh, God.

Warren Moon? They can't just change it back. But they're to the Texans now. Ken Burrow, Dan Pastorini, Mike Barber? Remember Jeffries, the wide receiver? Jeffries. I don't. Jim Jeffries? No.

God, that kid is telling us it. Was it Hayward Jeff? Dude, yeah. Heywood. There's a fucking old school black guy name you missed. Dude, Haywood? Oh, my God. Haywood.

That's when there was still white guys with the last name, Kowalski. All right. Here's an old. Here's the podcast, brother. Hold on. Here's an old rich man name. Ready? This is a great one.

Arthur. Dude. Arthur is, if you don't think of, if you don't think of a glass of scotch and a fucking bowtie or whatever. Ascot. All right.

It's Utah. From a barbershop in the 1800s, allo-o-wishus. That's that dude coming. in with the part right down the middle and the curly cues like that and a little stupid mustache. That's how I introduced that

Reggie Miller. I'm Dan Patrick every week. Dan Patrick, every reason I guess. Reggie, Aloitious Miller. I don't think that's a real middle way. All right. Alawicious, dude, that's nuts. All right, guys.

Well, listen, that's the show. Those are our picks for NFL divisional weekend. Enjoy it. It's going to be good. Dude, could you imagine a Bears, Texans? Dude, by the way, Paul. because we picked three different games.

That means one of us is going to be eight and two next week. The other part, oh, Billy wins some lose some, might come back down. If I go one in three, I will be six and four. And that's about right above. But Paul, you're a streaky guy and you haven't hit your streaks yet. So if I'm watching this podcast, I'm thinking I got to go Verzi's due. Well, we'll see, man. I don't know.

That's a big number seven with the C-Lexam. And listen, you're right about the Broncos. Broncos got a really good defense. I'm curious to see Josh Allen go in there. That game is, that game is... Oh, you got up off the table, you ripped the IV out of your head, and you're walking down the street with your ass out. The show crushed.

You're about ready to commandeer somebody. Give me your sport coat and your jeans, and you're going to drive away to a casino. I see it happening, Paul. What did you say, Jake? I just said the show crushed on the Wildcott weekend, and then I called you the Verzonator. Yeah.

Well, we'll see, man. It'll be good weekend. And we will see you guys next week for championship weekend for myself and everybody here. We're out of here. We'll see you next week. Are you interested in effortlessly growing your Bitcoin portfolio? I sure am. The Bitcoin credit card by Gemini earns you Bitcoin back on every purchase.

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