Monday Morning Podcast - Gestapo Crowd Control, Gen X Brain, Lizard People | Monday Morning Podcast 7-13-26

Episode Date: July 13, 2026

Bill rambles about gestapo crowd control, gen x brain, and demon lizard people.Policy Genius: Head to http://www.PolicyGenius.com/BURR to compare life insurance quotes from top companies and see how much you could saveSimpliSafe: Right now, you can get 50% off your new system by visiting http://www.SimpliSafe.comHims: To get simple, online access to personalized, affordable care for ED, Weight Loss, and more, visit http://www.Hims.com/BURRSquarespace: Check out http://www.Squarespace.com/BURR for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, use code BURR to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domainShipStation: Get started with ShipStation today and get sixty days free at http://www.ShipStation.com with the code BURRSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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if you don't love it you get your money back what are you going to bitch about at meundies dot com slash burr promo code burr hey what's going on it's bill burr and It's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday, July 13th, 2020. Six, six, six, six, six, the number of the beast. Sorry. Hell and fire was born to be released by the booboo. I'm sorry. I'm back.

I'm in the saddle again. I'm back on West Coast time. It finally fucking happened for. me. I kept waking up at like 1.30, 3.30, 430, 3.30, 530, 3.30. I kept going back to 3.30. And I was like, Jesus, Mary and Joseph, am I going to be on fucking Ireland time for the rest of my life? And then finally, on Friday, I took my daughter, my lovely daughter, I took her to the World Cup. I got to go to the World Cup. We were both freaking out. I went with a buddy of mine and his daughter. And the coolest thing, on the ride there, you know, I was sitting up front of my buddy and then our daughters were in the back.

And at one point, my daughter leaned forward and she tapped me on the shoulder. And I said, I said what? And she goes, thank you. How cool is that? Nine years old. I was enough to say thank you for going there. We were both like super excited. So we get there.

It's Spain versus Belgium. All right. The World Cup, which is the World Super Bowl. You know? I know a bunch of people tune into the Super Bowl, but it's just, you know, it's a national game. This is like literally the whole fucking world is watching this to a sporting event that we're going to.

So we are like geeking out and we go up there. And dude, I got to tell you something right now. There is no fucking way to sneak into a FIFA game, a fucking World Cup game. There's no way to make, I mean, somebody probably, I don't, like the level of, like computer nerd you would have to be. Dude, these motherfuckers, it was like getting into the Pentagon.

Like the level of security. And it had nothing to do with trying to keep people safe. Like, you know, they had the clear, you know, backpacks that you put your shit in. But the main thing that FIFA is fucking concerned about is every motherfucker in that place is going to fucking pay for their ticket. Nobody's sneaking in. Nobody's going to fucking sleep.

slide in under the Zamboni, like the old days or climbing through the fucking rafters. Like, you, dude, they scanned our shit to get in, like cattle. They break you up like cattle. Like, the whole sporting experience is so different now. Then we got in, and I'm like, all right, they scanned our tickets. All right, we're in, yeah, we're in. Now we've got to walk around this fucking spaceship, which is a really weird. It's a beautiful stadium.

You know what I mean? It's like, it looks like where they make the Tesla trucks. By the way, I heard some guy make fun of some guy on Instagram driving a Tesla truck. He was bitching about somebody else, somebody with a Rubicon that it put lipstick, big lips on the front of the grill and then like eyelashes. And he was going off on that. And then he's like, I need to calm down. He pans around. And there's a Tesla truck in front of him.

He goes, and this guy's driving a fucking refrigerator. It's amazing. It looks like that, or it looks like the hood above a stove, you know, if you just put four wheels on it. But I will say, you know, I don't know, if you go to, like, museums and you look at, like, abstract art, I kind of feel like it lives in that world. Like, I'm not mad at it.

I don't give a fuck if that's what you want to drive. And that weird, like, window shade that you pull down. like, I don't think I've ever seen anybody driving a Tesla truck and actually had anything in the back. I think at this point, it's just like you appreciate the weirdness of the design, or you're just like, you know, you grew up watching wrestling and you like the bad guys and you know if you drive one, it's going to annoy people.

So you just kind of into that. I don't know. The whole thing is, is, it's beyond me. I don't give a fuck. I like all the old shit, you know, so what are you going to do? Anyway, so we scan our tickets, right? You got to download the FIFA fucking act app. And then somebody goes, put it in your Apple wallet.

I go, do I, you know, so I put it in the Apple wallet. And now the Apple wallet, new security, we got to scan your face. And I'm like, fuck you. Like at what point? At what point? Like, have you gotten enough fucking infre? Everybody's got to know, like, everybody, like, our retinas have all been scanned.

Just make the fucking robots already. Jesus fucking Christ. So we fucking get by the first thing. Then we walk around the flying saucer. Now we're going to go in the gate again. They scan them again. Scan them again. Because now, okay, you've established that you have the tickets.

But now we're going to. have to make sure that you're not trying to go into a level you don't belong in. So they scan them again. Now they've scanned them twice. Then we get past that. And then they scan them again. A third fucking time. And then they all break us up with like bracelets and shit.

Dude, I'm telling you, it's all like going to a sporting event and getting checked into like a concentration camp. It's the same shit where they're dividing people, separating people rather than a number on your fucking arm, you're getting a fucking bracelet. This is what they're doing right now, tracking all of us. Like, why the fuck are they tracking all of us? Everything that we do. Why are you acting like we're John Goddy sitting inside our supper club,

planning to murder somebody at Sparks Steakhouse? We're not doing anything. Why do you have to fucking watch us to this level? What are you up to, you lizard people, cunts? That's the question. So by the time I get in there, I'm just like, it's a combination of like going to a sporting event it's like it's the same thing as like boarding delta airlines it's classism it's racism it's all fucking it's all the same game except it's just going it's just like

you are a mezzanine level person you will only interact segregation you will only be with mezzan dude back in the day if you had a you had a hard ticket nobody scanned your feet you face, you walked into a stadium, you entered any fucking place you wanted to enter. They don't, you know what? That's not true. If you had, they finally figured out people were buying bleacher tickets and then just walking around sitting behind home plate. So if you bought bleachers, if you had center field at a Red Sox game before you

could do Green Monster, like they finally were like, you fucking animals are out there. Right? But if you got right field bleachers, you could just walk all the way around and you could just walk down and there would be empty seats because there was 81 home games and only sports fans went and there wasn't luxury boxes and any of that you could go to a bruin's game you could get an upper deck ticket you could just walk down you could go down you could fucking throw an usher five 10 bucks if you need to and you could sit down low if the game was a fucking blowout or nobody showed up they didn't give a fuck if people moved down they didn't give a fuck now it is like

this is who you are this is the lover you're at and you will sit in your seats story the entire game. I'm sorry, sir, sir, sir, could you not serve in the sir, please? You know, they're always doing like that shit. Sir, I'm sorry, no, sir, no, you can't go down these stairs. You have that wristband. You have to go down those stairs. And then you get out of the fucking stadium at the end of the game,

and it used to just be a fucking free-for-all. Everybody getting the fuck out of Dodge. Now you're looking at the cops like this shutting down, streets and just funneling everybody like don't you are all going to sit in the same hellacious fucking traffic it's all fucking it's all gestapo controlled it's crazy but anyway as i've always said though the game is still the game and it's still a beautiful game so we got in there and uh you know i just like i was i couldn't believe how excited i was like i couldn't get over the fact that i was there and um we saw a great game

game, Spain was like dominating, like the time of possession and everything, and it just looked like they were going to walk away with this fucking game. It was one, but it was only one to nothing. Then they did this fucking water break, you know, because America, we got to show commercials, right? I love that we pretend that we're caring about the athletes in the country that turned its own foods. A lot of small group of people turn our own food supply into poison. They fucking, I don't know what happened. They made some sort of fucking adjustment and all of a sudden Belgium started coming back.

And right before the halftime, whatever the fuck you call it, this gorgeous goal, like the goal of the game, even though Belgium didn't win like a corner kick. And it just came in nice and low and this guy came out of the crowd and just fucking sailor dived and sent the thing into the net with his head and all of a sudden it was one to one

everyone was going crazy and by the way, the level that the Spain's jerseys and fucking Belgium jerseys were the exact same was fucking insane in the crowd. I couldn't tell who was who and then finally my daughter goes Spain has the blue

and I went oh okay I get it now I get it. A couple old timers had the old school one that said a spagna and I was like I know that's the Spain one. So anyway, and then also the Belgian people for whatever reason were wearing cowboy hats. I didn't know, I don't know what that has to do with their culture or if they're mocking that they're in America. I have no idea. You know, like as an American, when you go to Holland, you feel like he got to buy some wooden shoes. I don't know if they came here and like,

let's be out in America. We need to get cowboy hats. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what they were doing. But anyway, Spain ended up winning like two to one. And, you know, I've always made fun of soccer or whatever, but I was always just like fucking trolling people. But like, I liked it. But now I'm actually like into it. And beyond the World Cup is now I'm like, hey, maybe I'll start watching some of these Premier League games.

Like, I don't know. I feel like the Premier League, does it wrap up around July? I can never remember. I know the CFL is done by November. It's just too much to pay attention to, but it was, it's a gorgeous game. And like, the level of shape that soccer players are in. And I'm going to keep saying soccer for everybody overseas who goes, let's fucking call football. Yeah, but we don't call it that.

Get over it. I don't give a fuck, you know, we call it a hood. You call it a bonnet. I mean, you know, we say basil, you say Basel. Who gives a fuck? You know what I'm talking about. And most of you cunt's bitching, you didn't even invent the game anyway.

And don't you like it that we call it soccer and that we don't give a fuck and it's another reason to hate us? Isn't that kind of fun? There you go. All right. Well, I'm going to keep calling it soccer. So then the next day, I watched England

playing Norway with that Holland dude and I'm expecting, you know, see if he can take over the game. And then I'm also watching England because the England's sort of like the Knicks. Like they haven't won since 66. Also, very few teams have won the World, countries have won the World Cup.

I had no idea. Like Brazil won like five of them. And it's only been played since like the 1930s, I think. So if one country wins five of them, you know, there goes 20 years out of like 100 years. It's sort of like the Yankees. The Yankees won in like 27. you know, there's going to be some people out in the cold shivering.

So England's only won once. So I don't understand why they're acting like it needs to return home. It's like you guys have only won one. I don't know why you're talking all this shit. Like there was this time when you guys were great and you were always winning it. You won it once, unless I'm crazy. I don't know what. But I will tell you this, watching them, England has a great fucking team.

But I noticed like any time the other team does something, their whole team puts their hands up like it's off-sized. So I'm already starting to not like them. Like they're sort of like whining, whiny cunts. I never saw like Norway doing that. Every fucking time. They're all putting their fucking hands up. You know, they got a goal called back.

They're just fucking whining. I will tell you, I stand by this. You know, people that play soccer need to learn how to do a one-timer. Watch hockey. Watch Ovechkin. And do that. This fucking shit where they kick it to you and you're right there in the box and you stop it with your foot and then have to do a move.

And by the time you do that, some defender blocks it. It's coming in as it comes in. Just kick the fucking thing. Put it on net. Half the time these fucking goaltenders, It seems like they go to catch it and they miss it. They give up a sweet rebound and somebody goes top shelf. Fucking ball comes in, kick it.

That's it. Dan Marino. Arm goes up, ball comes out. Ovechkin, one-timer. The guy's got the most goals. Got more goals than fucking Gretzky. I don't understand why they don't do it. I've seen people do it.

They have the ability to do it. But they always want to stop and do the extra pass or fucking slow down. Put the puck on net. good things happen when you put the puck on net. I would think the same in soccer. S-O-C-C-E-R, soccer. I just am fucking beside myself. I love the parallels between soccer and hockey.

I find myself yelling the same shit. Like, shoot it! Shoot the puck! Shoot the fucking thing. Jesus Christ. It's like, why are you trying to? to get everybody involved. There's no one around you.

Shoot the fucking ball. They just, they don't do it. So, anyway, and I've heard from people that actually watch this shit all the time, that like certain countries get the calls, you know, and Argentina

owns FIFA and England and France, you know, they also get calls and shit like that. And then that's what made me as I was really starting to fall for this sport. It's like, I can't, do this again. I can't fall in love with another sport and watch one country get treated like

the fucking Lakers. Like, I just, I can't do this anymore. You know, you know, there's always the Lakers or the Canadians or the Yankees. It's just like they've won so much that the refs are like afraid of the fan base and they just call fouls and power plays and people lean into balls during run downs and they act like they don't fucking see it. I just, I, can I do, can I do this again? I get into college football. Why didn't I just root for Alabama? No, I got a root.

I got a root for fucking LSU. And then I, I, I, I, I don't want to do this. So I will just, because I'm finding myself after watching England play twice and watching every douche on defense, just calling off sides every time they get beat. It reminded me, rest his soul, of Kobe Bryant. Every time Kobe Bryant took a shot and it didn't go in,

he'd look at the ref like, foul. Like, it didn't go in. I obviously, obviously I got fouled. And you always make that face like, like, what? You kidding me? I don't know. See, look, look how much it's already upsetting me. A sport I don't even give a fuck about.

So anyway, I, I've been back to flying, and I've been with my instructor, and I was just like, dude, I'm just going to fly with you, like, five times in a row. Let's just do nothing but hover autos, auto rotations, 180s, chop and throttle. Let's just do this shit. Let me get back.

Because I couldn't believe, like, how much, just after a month of not doing them, how rusty I got. and oh by the way one of my favorite things ever I'm a big fan of the rock you know the original rock wrestling and all of that and then watching him getting into movies and having this great career

so that's been a fun thing to watch but he did a movie one time and he flew a helicopter he was flying the helicopter and the engine quit and his character goes we have to auto rotate it's one of my favorite pieces

of exposition dialogue dialogue. Dialogue is exposition for those of you not in this business is when you have the characters explain what's going on either the backstory of another character

or like it's funny. His character had to say it because if you don't fly helicopters you don't know what an auto rotation is. Most people think if the engine quits you just, that's it. You're fucked.

So his character had to say, we have to auto-rotate. And the reality is, you know, I don't know what the deal is with the bigger ones. They have more inertia in their main rotor, but like if you fly something that I do, the second the engine quits, you have about a fucking half a second

to slam the collective down and pull back, um, pull back to stick to fucking, you know, get that air coming up underneath you to keep your fucking RPMs going, or they're going to drop to a point you can't recover

and then you are fucked. So the engine would never quit and you wouldn't look at somebody and go, we have to auto rotate. You would immediately enter an auto rotation. And this is the best way that was ever explained to me. Like when you're flying a helicopter, you're going forward.

If you just picture the main rotor, it's like tilted like at a 45 degree angle like towards going forward. Okay? And you're drawing air into the disc. and then when you, the engine quits, you then want to have it going 45 degrees like pointing towards the tail rotor.

As your forward momentum and you now falling, that is, and that angle of the main rotor, that's what keeps it fucking going. But your RPMs, especially if you're going really fast and your blades are totally turned, is going to drop like a motherfucker. So you have to do it immediately. You do not have time to look at your passenger

and be like, we have to auto-rooted. But in defense of that movie, I understand they have to do it. That's like, you know, in the pilot episode, a character has to be, but Mark, you're my cousin from Milwaukee. Like, they have to, like, so you'd be, oh, okay, so these guys are related. Like, you end up saying that. And that's sort of the challenge in the writer's room to do that as little as possible

because you don't want to put the actor in that position, you know, because in real life, people don't. You would never tell your cousin that he is your cousin from Milwaukee because both of you know that. But when you're doing a show or a movie, you have to sometimes do that so people understand.

They know what the fuck is going on. And that is called exposition. There you go. Anyway, so I'm going to be doing a bunch of those over the next few days. And then I think I'm finally going to do that flight up to Paso Roble. I am back into working out and stretching and all of that

is just one of the best things that you can do. Like, you know, I got a left knee talks to me, but like if I stretch my right side, it doesn't talk to me. And it's so important for me to do that because when it's talking to me, it means my body is out of alignment and I'm wearing out the cartilage, I'm wearing out my knee,

and I'm on my way to a fucking knee replacement. And these fucking cuncts, out there will not tell you that if you just stretch and you get a massage, you can work this shit out, and then you don't have to walk around with a fake fucking knee. Or you can at least put it off. So I've been doing that. I've been watching some movies. After watching that Electra Glide in Blue with Robert Blake, I am obsessed with watching more movies like that obscure. If you guys know any obscure car, most of that. motorcycle movies.

Like I looked up motorcycle movies from the 70s and it just immediately goes like grind house. I'm not into that grind house shit. Like one of the first ones that came up was like something black motorcycle riders from hell. And I'm like, all right, what is this? Maybe it'll have some cool, like, motorcycles in it and stuff.

and it's just like, it literally looks like, you know, when Tarantino makes fun of Grindhouse, it looks just like that, but except it's not a joke. They're like being serious. And I just can't sit through that shit.

Like, like, that Robert Blake movie was fucking gorgeous. And it like really did something for me of like remembering growing up and like, you know, I'm a Gen X guy. So I lived in an analog. world and I lived in a digital world

and I just like how my this is such a fucked up thing to say but I just liked how my brain felt when it was still analog so going back to reading and just watching movies and being away from my cell phone and

you know these fucking cars these surveillance self surveillance on wheels just not into this shit so And watching that movie, like, I don't think I've ever felt so compelled to drive a car or ride a motorcycle in the middle of nowhere for my own, like, mental health is something I really want to do. So I've been talking to my agent about like, you know, maybe doing a gig up in Montana.

I've only been there like one time to do a gig. And I want to go back and like do like a run up there and, you know. I don't know. Somewhere up there, you know, go up there with Dean Del Rey and just fucking, I don't know. Just not be, I don't know, under surveillance all the time. It's like making me fucking paranoid. It's insane.

It's really fucking insane. Anyway, on that darkness, whatever, it's the summertime. And what I do in the summertime is I always make sure I do something every single day with my kids when I'm not on the road doing like gigs and stuff. Speaking of that, though, before I get going too far into talking about my kids. Thank you to Matt Rife. He sold out the Greek theater here. Remember that movie, Get him to the Greek.

He's playing there three fucking nights. The kid is killing it. So he was nice enough to ask me to come down And I jumped at the opportunity Because I like that dude He's a good dude And then also I've never gotten to do stand up there And

You know, I wanted to see kind of like What it was like and it was fantastic It was You know, it's like a 4,000 seat I mean this kid is moving tickets here Four, five, six thousand something like that But it's really like intimate And the crowd

God was great. And I got to work with Chappelle Lacey. Now, what did I just fucking do with this thing here? Why does it keep scrolling up on me? Anyway, Chappelle Lacey, I, Eric Griffin, myself, and then Matt went on. And he was like promoting, he's in like Super Troopers Part 3. I think that's coming out next month. But anyways, thank you to him.

and everybody that I was hanging, just a great bunch of people I was hanging out with that night. And it reminded me the last time I was there, I saw Primus go up there and just fucking, oh my God. They were on fire that night. They were just on fucking fire. So it was fun to go back there. Anyway, I was going to ride the motorcycle over,

but I chickened out. I was like, I'm going to get stuck in fucking traffic. And then I'm going to show up and say it's me. and I'm going to have the helmet on. It's going to be a big fucking pain in the ass, so I just drove over. But anyways, the kids, I've been just like, you know, they came over with me over to Ireland.

So I saw him every day, but I was doing the acting gigs. But on the weekend, you know, we did a bunch of stuff and went out to all these gorgeous parks right outside of Belfast and everything. So we did that, like, every weekend. And now that we've been back, we've just been doing, like, Now they're back into soccer.

They went to baseball. They went to soccer. We've been swimming, riding bikes, playing drums, and taking them to get donuts. And I'm just trying to like just be there. You know what I mean? And just,

they're just growing up super fast. But it's one of the advantages of being an old dad. You're not sad that they're growing up fast. You're just excited like, okay. I saw another thing, you know. I think when you're younger, you get sad. But if you're older, it's like, when you're in your old dad,

you're worried that you're going to die before they grow up. So them growing up fast is not necessarily a bad thing. That's fucking nuts. But anyway, yeah, so I don't have any more acting gigs for the rest of the year. All I'm doing is stand up. And it feels, dude, I feel like, I don't know, I feel like I lost 80 pounds. Stand up is like, it's just my favorite thing in the fucking world. And I'm also the way I'm doing the road coming up is going to be so goddamn fun to actually get to stay in these cities again.

As opposed to just visiting them one night. I just cannot fucking wait. It's going to be great. Anyway, and with that, let's do the reads here for the week. Policy Genius, everybody. Policy Genius is an online insurance marketplace that allows you to compare quotes from some of America's top insurers side by side for free. Their licensed team helps you get what you need fast so you can get on with your life. Easily find what you need, coverage amounts, prices, terms, no guesswork, just clarity.

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head to policy genius.com slash Bill Burr to compare life insurance quotes from top companies and see how much you could save. That's policy genius.com slash Bill Burr. You know what they should have before you get life insurance is you should tell the person, man or woman that you're living with, or they that you're living with, right? And you just tell them that you're getting life insurance, you got life insurance and they're the beneficiary for a million dollars in life insurance. Okay, and then just watch their behavior for three months before you actually sign the fucking thing. Have scientists test your food, make sure they don't. Because, you know, life insurance is fantastic if you have good people in your life. If you have bad people in your life, you've given them motive.

I'm sorry, my wife is just like that S&L sketch. She watches all these fucking murder shows. And I swear to God, the amount of fucking people that never even cheated on their taxes and then all of a sudden could get a million dollars and they don't like their job and they don't want to work anymore and they don't like the way their husband eats toast. And next thing you know, they try to get away with murder. And the worst thing is, is they don't get away with it and they killed you. So everybody loses and you're fucking dead.

It's fucked. My wife right now is watching Worst Neighbor Ever, worst neighbor ever, which is the funniest name because it's like neighbors killing each other. And then like it's like, worst neighbor ever. It should be in parentheses. It should say, am I right? Worst neighbor ever is just like somebody,

they have loud parties or they're always working on their old car and they got a bunch of junk. in the front yard. That's the worst neighbor ever. Somebody fucking kills you. I think we're not talking neighbor. My neighbor is a fucking bloodthirsty psycho. Maybe you call it that.

Worst neighbor ever. Back me up. Am I right, guys? Anyway. Plowing ahead. Oh, look who it is everybody. It's simply safe. You know, in the U.S. there's a break in every 26 seconds. That means somewhere right now, an intruder is getting closer.

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All right. Now, we're into the business of your business. Oh, the cops are flying low over the neighborhood. Good. New laugh. Bill, has everyone told you that your laugh has changed in the last eight years? No, but I've changed. I'm listening to the throwback and you have a completely different laugh. Not because you're older, but the cadence itself. For lack of a better word, it's more sinister, like a cartoon villain. Have you talked about this at all? Has anyone ever told you? No, and I have to be honest with you, I don't give a shit. My voice is also gradually getting deeper.

Everything changes as you get older. I like this person. This person is very self-involved. Like, has anyone ever told you that your laugh has changed in the last eight years? Like, in what fucking world? That's such a random thing to say. That's why I think you're self-involved because you think, like, well, if I notice this, then every...

everybody noticed this because what I think is what everybody thinks. I'm starting to get those vibes. I could be wrong. I'm listening to a throwback and you have a completely different laugh. I have like five different laughs to let you know. It all depends on what I'm talking about and how funny shit is. And I don't know if you've noticed, but over the last fucking 10 years,

shit has gotten pretty sinister. You know? Like, am I the only one that have noticed like the white, supremacy vibes of the current administration and a certain sports league. It's fucking insane. Insane. You know, if you told me 10 years ago somebody was going to whack a CEO, I mean, it's that a standing president, you know, his administration was going to put the heads of the Obama's on

the bodies of monkeys and they wouldn't immediately get impeached and all get fired. I mean, you know, I don't know. But no. to answer your question, no one has told me that. I don't know, but it's nice to know that somebody is paying attention to that shit. Anyway, all right, shit tech families. Shit, S-H-I-T-T-E-C-H. Shit-Tech families.

Hey, Bill, did you hear about the companies? Oh, God, I don't want to hear about this. This is already making, what are they doing to families now? Started by that huge piece of shit Bill Gates' daughter. It's called FIA, P-H-I-A. It's an app that finds you the best deal on items you wish to buy. When you buy, they get a kickback. Of course they do.

Well, if this app is on your phone and you buy something without the help of the app, the app opens a browser window in the background and then quickly closes, tricking the site into thinking Fia drove the traffic to that purpose. purchase. You know, how much money do these people need to make? Like, what is Bill Gates' daughter worried about? Jesus Christ, why don't you go to one of those DJ shows and fucking stick fucking drugs on a tampon and whatever the fuck these kids do now? Jesus. I'll never forget when I first heard that people do that. Because the membrane in your ass is like thin or something. I have no fucking idea why you would do that.

Like, how bad do you want to get high? Like, why would you just be like, hey, man? I draw the line at, you know, drinking, snorting, and smoking. You know, I don't want to inject anything. I don't want to insert anything. Like, how do you talk to your buddy about, hey, man, I got you. Dude, you want them really cool high, man? Your buddy breaks out some fucking tampons.

dipped in Molly or whatever the fuck. What are we doing right now? What are we doing? Nobody, and like nobody, okay? The tampons are out. You're soaking them in the drugs. Starting to drop your pants. And nobody's saying,

hey, wait a minute, man. What, what, hey. Last thing. Last time I check weeds legal. You know, like, let's, let's keep this, new rule. New rule. If you got to take your pants off, if that's part of getting high, we're not doing it, right? Am I right? Come on, man. All right, anyway. Now, I'm not naive. I expect people who weren't brought up by psychopath tech monopolizing health scare, gifting ass clowns like Bill Gates

would also do this. This is the guy who just happened to buy into farm companies, right before the leak of a virus. This is the guy who destroyed the chance for us to have a variety of computing options and had to hire a PR firm to ship public perception of him. Maybe when his daughter uses all those connections to build something, we shouldn't be too surprised that she's ripping people off. Yeah, I know, dude. It's fucking, it's the Wild West out there.

And while I'm at it, these tech ass hats have no power without. the banks that fund them. Elon does not have a trillion dollars. It's paper leverage. It's a complicated game of stripping wealth through retirement portfolios and market monopolies. Fuck this shit, I'm going Amish.

Yeah, you know, I don't know how to start the rebellion, but I'll definitely join it. You know, I don't know what's going to happen, but I do know that what they're doing, people have tried to do forever and they always feel like

they have a big enough army or enough technology and it never works so I don't know I'm just trying to be cool and nice to people and be empathetic

I'm trying not to be a racist fucking moron white guy that thinks his country is being taken away from him by people who aren't white It's being taken away from us by white people. And they are not your common everyday run-of-the-mill people. And they are not sinister or evil-looking.

They look like Bill Gates. They look like the Tesla guy. You know, they just suits. And you can tell none of them know how to fight, and they have never gotten into a fight, you know. You go to a dojo and they teach you, and you got a billion dollars, and they start giving you fucking belts.

you know, you know, it's like, all right, okay. I mean, I don't, I don't know. I don't get any of it. I really don't. I don't understand any of it. But I do know this. Standing on stage and making you guys laugh is still a human-to-human connection,

and it feels fucking great. It feels fucking great. So I'm just going to keep doing that. And, you know, shooting the shit with people while I drink a cup of coffee. That's my game. That's how I'm fighting eight. I'm just going to keep doing what I've always done.

And I wish I never got this new iPhone because you literally cannot talk on it. You feel like your brain is scrambling. So I'm thinking of downgrading buying a used one. A little less. You know what I mean? Go back in time. Anyway, all right.

Film industry. Bill, I lived in L.A. for 30 years. Since I moved here, everything has become more uncomfortable while my industry has slowly disappeared. This didn't just happen. Every governor, mayor, and person in power position has done this through regulations and tax laws. I'm not even just talking about stripping the industry of its tax breaks.

I'm talking about choking production with permits and taxes that overtly make it impossible to conduct business here. I have no political affiliation anymore, though historically I voted down. Democrat in most elections, local and federal. Once a year, I give lectures to young, yeah, well, I mean, like, like Netflix was not movie people. Netflix was like, I think, private equity. And private equity has gone in everywhere and just whatever industry,

they just fold it up and put it in their back pocket and walk away from it and pay off all the politicians. And the blue ties and the red ties are more than willing to take the money. So I like that you have no political affiliation. I don't either. My affiliation is with my fellow American. And I don't give a fuck where you lean, Republican, Democrat, Libertarian Party.

I don't give a fuck. If you work for a fucking living and you are getting fucked by these, you know, the people living in the stratosphere, you know, I am on your side. I don't give a shit what's, state you're in. I don't give a shit about your accent. I don't give a shit what color you are. We're all in the same team and I'm not buying into this crap that, you know, oh, you're a

Republican Fox News guy and I'm a, I'm a fucking this guy and you're a that guy. No, no, no, we're all, we're all getting fucked by the same people. And they're just making us point our fingers at each other. They're destabilizing the country for their own greedy wants. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what their deal is. Anyway, once a year, I give lectures to young people with hopes of working in the industry at a few schools in the area. When they would ask why this happened and why no one did anything about it, as it was happening, I didn't have the answers. A few years back, I made a chart of every policy and politician that made this reality. The worst of the worst happened starting in 2005.

People often want to look at the 2008 financial crass but this was already in motion. Oh yeah, yeah. Once they started taking us off the gold standard, I know Nixon's, you know, you go all the way back to fucking

Woodrow Wilson, the creation of the Federal Reserve all the way up to Nixon, he takes us off the gold standard. And then Clinton did something that set up that bubble I believe it was Clinton

that signed it and it set up this thing where people who weren't qualified were now qualified to bid on houses so that drove up artificially the price of the house because now rather than trying

to outbid one or two people you had to try to outbid seven and they got all these people in these fucking houses knowing good and goddamn well that they were going to go bankrupt and they would just kick them back out the other side. It was fucking...

And nobody went to jail. So anyways, yeah. 2008 didn't just come out of nowhere. We were on our way there. It was like in the early 80s when they first started deregulating capitalism. When that administration in the early 80s was in there, I'm going to avoid...

I shouldn't say president's names, so people just listen to information rather than being like, well, fucking Trump. dude, like, they, you know, first started deregulating,

you know, those rules of media ownership. I think actually one of the worst things that happened in this country was the baby boom generation stopped the Vietnam War. And the people that profit off of false flag wars

were like, what the fuck just happened? We lost the kids, we lost the media, we lost our war, we lost our money-making thing. and they were like, you know what, that's never going to fucking happen again. And they systematically broke down media and critical thinking in the colleges.

They went after that type of shit. It's like when Seinfeld went into fucking syndication. And I feel like this whole fucking industry was like, how the fuck do we owe a stand-up comedian half a billion dollars? we're never giving out this deal again. That's what they do. They don't like to lose. These are just my theories.

Why don't I shut the fuck up for once? For once, Bill. Okay, so let's continue on. The worst of the worst happened started in 2005. People often want to look at the 2008 financial crash, but this was already in motion. It was largely done by Democrats whose campaigns were filled.

Okay, I'm already starting to get like this. You know, and I mainly vote Democrats, but Democrats fuck this all up. It was largely done by Democrats who can't, campaigns were filled with dribble about caring about the working class. Yeah, that's why I always think Democrats are worse because

they actually... Well, I guess Republicans do it too. We're going to drain the swamp. No, you're not. And neither are the Democrats. You guys are all in the swamp. No human being can say this at a podium and then work with demons to destroy a workforce and a culture

in such a short time. And there's nothing wrong in a case where Democrats were largely to blame to actually blame them. Republicans destroy us overseas and Democrats destroy us here. I think that's overly simplistic. I think they both destroy us overseas

and they both destroy us at home. I mean, that Iraq war fucking bankrupted us and there wasn't a Democrat or Republican that voted against it. Maybe there was one or two. They all know what's going on. I feel like they're all wetting their beak out of the same puddle, and they just...

I believe in the illusion of choice, that theory, and that they're all doing the same thing. I don't know. It's all a gift to siphon money, 100%. No one is going to be safer in the Middle East. No one is going to be better off in L.A. To top it all off, when I am critical of poor leadership,

I occasionally get shamed for my opinion. Oh, toughen the fuck up. adults saying they get shamed. Somebody doesn't agree with you. I love L.A. and I love America, and I have every right to speak. And I have every right to speak my mind. Yeah, well, grow a fucking spine.

Stand by what you say. You're not being shamed. They just don't agree with you. Welcome to my fucking world. And I have every right to speak my mind and anyone who thinks I'm political baiting is a moron. All right, well, there's a nice absolute that's not going to end an argument.

If you don't agree with me, you're fucking stupid. I want actual change. I don't need some Manchurian candidate who didn't grow up in L.A. to tell me why I'm wrong for being upset about the current state of things. I also blame ourselves to not having the right leadership

or awareness in place to lobby in favor of policies that would have protected our industry. P.S., California is raising taxes on the middle class again because they hate us. I mean, that's just stupid. They don't hate the middle class.

We're bankrupt. You understand that we are trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions of dollars in debt. And they have to get the money somewhere. And rich people are, they have enough money to not pay fucking taxes, so they got to take it somewhere. They don't hate you.

To say that they hate you means they actually think about you. They don't give a fuck. they don't care about anything. They are in the, at this point, it is so fucked. They're all just looking out for themselves. And wherever they can squeeze an extra dime out of somebody, they're going after that. But don't take it personal.

Anyway, but yeah, no. And also, what happened to the entertainment business has happened as far as I can tell with every single business. Like, it just seems like one or two, people came up with an app or a business plan like a Spotify

to just take all of music and all the royalties and just stick it in their back pocket and they walk away and they become billionaires and the people that actually did the work and created it all get fucked we're all in the same boat

which is why I try to avoid the Democrat Republican thing I try to avoid the that shit because you know and it's really fucking hard because people are so on purpose

they've been brainwashed to just sit there you know I mean this whole Epstein Island shit it's like the fact that nobody is going to jail for that and nobody's get investigated and when you try to have a conversation with it

with people it's like they're so protective of their political candidate because candidates, it seemed, on both sides went there. And people are so fiercely protective of their party that all, they can't get past, well, so-and-so went there too. It's like, great. They should both be in jail.

You can't get past that. It just becomes, well, you know, this blue tie guy did this. Well, what about this red tie guy? And we just sit there and argue and nothing seems to get done. So, I mean, I don't know, I've been saying this forever. It's like we all have to kind of let go. with this stuff. It's like what you were saying.

Like you're getting, you know, shamed, which I think is, I don't think adults should talk that way. All right, I think, okay, if you bring up, you know, your conservative thought in L.A. in Hollywood, people just bark at you and blah, blah, blah. They're not going to agree with you,

but like, I think that's stupid because, you know, conservative thought is right just as much as liberal thought. as long as you don't go into the extreme of either one. And the extreme is what CNN and Fox News are showing you to get you into a heightened emotional state so we won't listen to each other

so we won't get onto the same page so that these fucking demon cunts can keep doing business with the lizard people. I mean, is it... Am I crazy? I think it's that simple. Anyway, I like you guys. I got no beef with you.

And I got no beef with your fucking political opinions. As long as you're not a racist, a homophobe, or a fucking white nationalist. I got this new bit that I'm working on. Like, there's yet another white nationalist hate group. And I just love that it's like, what was wrong with the other ones? Were they not hating enough?

Or is it just, we want to strike out on our own, you know? I want to make my own name for myself. You know, like when the Zildjan brothers got into a fight and then one of them left and created Sabian. I don't know. That shit strikes me as funny. Anyway, that's it, people.

All right? Go fuck yourselves. And I'll check it on you on Thursday.