Monday Morning Podcast - Julian Casablancas | Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 7-23-26

Episode Date: July 23, 2026

Bill rambles with Julian Casablancas about The Strokes new album, Reality Awaits.(00:00) - Thursday Afternoon Podcast(44:40) - Thursday Afternoon Throwback 7-23-18 - Bill rambles about Comic-...Con, conflicting nutritional advice, and Russia.Thursday Afternoon Interlude: The Strokes - Tyrants of the Mellow MoonHelix: Go to http://www.HelixSleep.com/BURR for  27% Off SitewideJack Archer: Go to http://www.JackArcher.com, and use promo code GETJACK for 15% off your first order, and see why thousands of people have given the Jetsetter Tech pant five starsSimpliSafe: Right now, you can get 50% off your new system by visiting http://www.SimpliSafe.com /BURRMintMobile: To get your new wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to http://www.MintMobile.com/BURRFast Growing Trees: Listeners to our show get 20% off their first purchase at http://www.FastGrowingTrees.com when using the code BURR at checkoutSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 All right. Hey, what's going on, everybody? It's Bill Byrd. It's time for another edition of the Thursday afternoon just before Friday, Monday morning podcast. And obviously, if I'm on video and you listen to my podcast, listen to it or whatever, you know, if I do video, that means I have a very special guest, which today is no different. We have the lead singer of the band, The Strokes. Julian Casablanca is here. And to promote their brand new album that comes out in two. days reality awaits look at that marble man cover Julian what's going on man Bill so nice to so nice to meet you an honor honor really to meet you it's an honor to meet you too when I was doing when I was in New York right when you guys hit out of Brooklyn and all of that I always wondered if you know you were playing your band was playing some dump around the corner from where I was telling my jokes back when New York was starting to get a little polished up then. It's been a little bed bath and beyond for a while,
Starting point is 00:01:05 which I found they'd left now. They got squeezed down. Yeah, no, I remember your kind of assent kind of coming up around, like seeing you on like Conan O'Brien and stuff back in the day. Oh, you actually, that's amazing. Yeah, I used to do Conan when he was on after, what was it, the Tonight Show. when he had the blue couch and all of that, the original one.
Starting point is 00:01:31 The glory, the heyday. Yeah, and those shows are all going away now. They're trying to make it political, but I think they're not making any money because everybody's watching people, I don't know, do a little snap, and then they change their clothes and then they go out for the night, you know? Yeah. That's the new art. Yeah, I mean, the internet, obviously,
Starting point is 00:01:56 of such access to everyone. It's not as exclusive to see a movie star, I guess, talking. Well, that's interesting because I wanted to ask you, I'm like a total music nerd. Like, uh, guitar center
Starting point is 00:02:12 dad thinking if I buy the same guitar you play, I'll somehow magically be as good as you and the songs will just come out. I'm going to talk about. You're an amazing drummer. You're super legit. I don't know about that. I'll take it. I think I'm good for a comedian.
Starting point is 00:02:28 And you're good for a drummer, dude. You're good. I was really impressed. Whenever I saw it years ago, and I was like, damn, what the, wow. Yeah. Were you in a band? Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:41 I totally failed. I never got out of my parents' basement. It was basically back in the day, whoever had the drums, their parents were obviously cool with you making all that noise. Everyone would just leave their gears. Everybody came over and jammed.
Starting point is 00:02:56 at my place. And I don't think the only one time, when I finally took him out of the house and actually jammed with somebody else, it was another comedian. I'd already started doing comedy. And I think I went over Dane Cook's mother's house and dad's house, and I set him up in his basement
Starting point is 00:03:14 and we, for half a second, thought about maybe putting together some sort of musical act to do colleges. Wait, you were a musician with Dane Cook? before. No, no, no. I had gotten into comedy at that point. So I'd already like, I knew early on, like, one of the, one of my talents is I can realize quickly what I suck at that I'm not going to get good at. So, like, when I would go to a, well, when I, when I would go to, like, a music store, you know, this is before they had, like, the guitar centers,
Starting point is 00:03:53 Norfolk County Music. I would go there. And I would say, see some eight-year-old kid play drums. Now, I could play better than him because I was 20, but he was his approach to it. He was coming up with his own stuff. He was already expressing himself. He had his own ideas. And if I took the same approach to stand up that I did to drumming,
Starting point is 00:04:14 I would have been a joke thief. Because all I did was just listen to the album and play exactly what they played. And if I missed the symbol hit in the song, I thought I played it wrong. So, yeah, I was never going to get past, you know, wedding cover band, sort of. Okay, I mean, I don't believe that, but okay, that's cool. I mean, you're an amazing, I don't know what you call.
Starting point is 00:04:40 It's like a philosopher more than comedian, but. Well, yeah, no, my comedy. I stand by my comedy. It's the drumming that we're discussing here. But we're not here to talk about my hobby. We're here to talk about this amazing new album that you guys just put out, comes out in two days, reality awaits. And first of all, thank you for the LP version of it.
Starting point is 00:05:02 And I love how old school, like, the cover is. Why won't this thing zoom in? And you open it up. See, this is how we used to enjoy music. So I was listening to it, and I'm looking at the Ferrari on the inside. And I'm looking at the pictures of you guys, like, recording the album and everything. And it was just like,
Starting point is 00:05:24 a great experience. So I wanted to ask you, like, you know, 20 some odd years in when you guys, like, go into the studio or whatever, do you guys, is it however whoever comes up with an idea, do you guys kind of have like a sort of a process at this point, or is the process no process? How does it basically, first of all, how do you guys even like go, hey, man, you know, we should probably put something else out? Probably when our bank accounts run out. Is that what you guys compare? What are you down to?
Starting point is 00:06:08 Well, I just think we're always, you just kind of, it's like a sense. Like, we should tour, and like you kind of should put out an album before you tour. Yeah. I mean, it's not as unromantic as that. I mean, I'm always writing stuff. I think we take, I don't know,
Starting point is 00:06:25 know with this thing i think Rick Rubin was involved so I think the opportunity to do that um I don't know I brought in a bunch of songs we had had weird interband discussions about publishing and stuff so I guess I was bringing in most of the songs at this point um for whatever reason but yeah we we jammed a lot Rick told us he wanted us to kind of jam endlessly so he would just we had songs and we would start with, you know, we started with five or six songs. I can't remember exactly. And then, and we would just play every day for like two or three hours and kind of, where was this that you were playing? This was, this was in Costa Rica, actually. Sorry, I got confused because the first time we did it was in L.A., but sorry? That's amazing. So you just went down to Costa
Starting point is 00:07:16 and played music every day for a couple hours? I was, we were living, recording. I was sleeping in Mel Gibson's bed. He wasn't in it, but... Hey, man, however you live your life. That's, you know, I'm not here to judge. I mean, I don't know, Rick was in Costa Rica, and he was saying we should come there
Starting point is 00:07:37 and he invited us and that they had this house. And, yeah, it was pretty insane. I mean, we're going to, I can send you the video that we're going to, I think, put out in a day. or two of just like a montage of us. It was pretty surreal. I mean, we're just literally outdoors by like an infinity pool on top of a mountain. That's incredible.
Starting point is 00:07:59 Rick is there kind of, you know, orchestrating us and stuff. Does that make it harder when it's a, I mean, that would be the kind of place I would want to smoke a cigar or a join to have a drink. And all of a sudden, it's like, wait, we're here to work, everybody, you know. that's got to be a little maybe a little difficult when it's that cool no no it was great it was fun I mean we did both I think
Starting point is 00:08:22 you know we we had plenty of time to just kind of hang we would jam for a long time but it was pleasant it was fun it was I don't know I guess that makes sense because I want to say ACDC recorded back in black and like the Caribbean or something
Starting point is 00:08:39 you wouldn't know listening to that album that that's where they were at Yeah, I mean, you could probably hear the sunbeams creep in a little bit, but I think most of the songs we had worked on beforehand in New York. So, yeah, that proof. I think where you record music generally affects how it sounds, though. All right. Well, I wanted to talk to you about some of the songs on here, and I don't know if I'm projecting because I am, you know, I'm trying to, you know, I grew up in the analog world and watched it go into the digital world. and I'm finding myself trying to go back.
Starting point is 00:09:18 You know, I drive just old cars now. I don't have any, like, GPS on them, and I try to, like, you know, I bought, like, a newer Ford truck, and then once I sink my phone to it, it was talking to the truck, trying to figure out where I lived and sending it to Ford, and I'm, like, just, you know, you get a refrigerator, it has a fucking camera in it,
Starting point is 00:09:37 you open it, and it plays a little bit of music. It's supposed to make you feel calm. It's like, who the fuck is watching me? you know, making a grilled cheese sandwich here. It's fucking weird. So that, I don't know, I was reading the lyrics and listening to going shopping, the second song on the second side. And the way I interpret that song was somebody, you know,
Starting point is 00:10:00 who didn't want to leave society but just couldn't relate to it anymore and was maybe going out to the country. And I don't know. Just kind of how I, I don't know if I was like projecting. that but I was hoping there was somebody else out there that felt the way I did about the direction we're headed. Yeah, I think, well, especially doing the video, it almost took on like more of a, took on maybe like a slightly different meaning with the video where it kind of, it went to, like it's not like the consumer's fault necessarily, but, um,
Starting point is 00:10:43 you know, being blind to certain things is, sorry, to go back to the meaning of it. I would say, yeah, I definitely had a phase where I left the city and all that, and I had done it in previous songs. So I think it was just kind of subconsciously coming out. Personally, I would love to leave the city, but I would miss everybody in this. so much going on. And I just, you know, you live in the middle of nowhere. I just feel like then you've got to deal with the middle of nowhere worldview.
Starting point is 00:11:26 I just feel like, what's that? Middle of nowhere, it's like something fucked up, homophobic or racist is coming in three, two, one. You try to keep it like. You know, you talk about how beautiful it is. out there and how it's nice to be out of the rat race and everything. But then, I don't know, it just, I'm not saying everybody, but like the level that it can go sideways, it just doesn't seem to be a, I don't know, like, if you live in this city, you know, you got these people, you see, you know, you're going to see a human being take a shit. I mean, it's just going to happen,
Starting point is 00:12:05 right? So, like, you start looking at like Wyoming. It's like, all right, you know, that looks pretty cool. And then you get out there and it's just like, you know, they live on a different planet for better force. I'm not saying it's all bad. I will say I did Wyoming one time and I ordered eggs over easy and they were borderline see-through. So I need to go back there again because I kind of judge them on that. I'm about to drive through there. Oh, man. There's a lot of themes. Yeah, I mean, the thing, it's like it's not the corporations or the consumers. that's bad. It's the kind of, it's like just the kind of being lied to, I think, that's kind of attached to it, that's kind of dark. So it's, it's not like, I don't know, it's, it's trying
Starting point is 00:12:55 to kind of say a heavier message, but in like a light, relatable way that isn't like so kind of maybe intense and gloomy, because. No, I appreciated that because I don't like when movies make up my mind for them, for me or whatever. So that's why I was asking, because it was sort of like, you know, up to your own opinion or whatever. How long did it take for you to record this album? I mean, the recording itself was probably a month or two, but three years to get it out the door. What does that feel like when you do the final take on an album? Because I know personally just acting, acting is the big thing for me,
Starting point is 00:13:45 because that's like I feel like when I'm working musician hours, where it's like really long days and stuff. And when I rap on something, I just feel like a battleship. I didn't get fired. People liked what I did. And I just feel like I just, you know, I did some little, really had a good time, a couple weeks in Ireland. And I would have to a salesman?
Starting point is 00:14:10 No, no, no, no, no. This is a little indie movie called Bender. It's not going to come out to like, well, we got to get distribution, but it should come out next year. The reason why I signed up to do it, aside loving the people that were involved, was it was one of those coming of age movies. It was kind of like what I grew up on. And like the adults are dealing with all this serious stuff.
Starting point is 00:14:30 And the kids are just trying to get laid, you know? It's one of those things. And it, you know, also took place in, like, like Dublin in 1979. So, but anyway, I just remember as much fun as I had, there is that thing when you get on the other side of it and you're done with it and you have like, you know, I had like, I go back on the road as a comedian this weekend, but I've had like two weeks off and I've really just tried to like sit on my back porch and just enjoy a cup of coffee before it gets
Starting point is 00:14:58 crazy again. And I was wondering if that is like, is that a similar when you guys, you know, do it. You got the last take. Okay, it's the last take, have fun. We got it. This is the last song, and then you guys have it. Is there that sense of relief, or is it more like, fuck, now we've got to promote it
Starting point is 00:15:17 and tour? I mean, it didn't really, it's not as organized as that at the end. I mean, my one memory of the end was, the last song on the record was kind of recorded on the last night. It was like a jam. That was probably my favorite moment.
Starting point is 00:15:33 So that was kind of a magic last take vibe. But in general, we just kind of... The songs were all in a state of complete disarray and required assemblage, so it didn't feel like... Oh, it's not... Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:51 So the months of... Basically, it's like making a movie and editing it. You know what I mean? It's like, you finish filming and you're like, well, that was the easy part. Now I need to... Oh, no, dude. Yeah, I directed one movie
Starting point is 00:16:04 and the editing process, I almost lost my mind. Like, I'm not, I think I'm a different person than I was a few years ago. I had, like, this sort of breakthrough where I got past my anger, but I was holding on to, like, 50 years of shit from my childhood. And so I've always had problems focusing. Like, I was a super slow reader. Every sentence would remind me of something else, and my eyes would continue to be eating. But, yeah, but I wouldn't retain any of it.
Starting point is 00:16:32 I'll become a much more chill person. But anyway, I just remember being in the edit room. And, you know, it was funny. My editor, Patrick Don Vito would be like, all right, go take a walk. They would literally just have me, like, go walk around the building. I would walk around the block or we do a little walk and talk, smoke of cigar, and then I would come back in.
Starting point is 00:16:57 I just couldn't fucking sit in there any longer, staring at 58 takes or whatever. So I will say listening to your album, as much as I loved the second, third, and fourth song, I mean, I loved all of it. The second, third, and fourth song, really grabbed me on the first side. But my favorites were the last two songs on the album.
Starting point is 00:17:21 And it's also a nice thing where, you know, you can, it's something else that I missed from the analog years. It's a band would put out an album that you can just listen front to back and trying the whole time. It isn't like, okay, here's this single and let's just give you a bunch of bullshit. So I just want to let you know that all the hard work you guys put into this. It's really a great album. Thanks. Yeah, the last two songs that's, I think before last is kind of the Costa Rica energy seeped in to the music there a little bit.
Starting point is 00:17:54 And then the last song was that last night. So yeah, those are two organically in Costa Rica creations. All right. Whatever, you ask. All right. Now I got to ask you about the tour bus here that you're sitting on. Are you guys already touring? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:15 Yeah, I'm in Denver right now. So when did you wrap on this recording this album? And how soon before the tour gets started? Oh, my God. I mean, we were mixes, debates, like we were basically mixing like a month. I think that's why the record got moved back. Is because, yeah, it was just like mixing, mixing stuff.
Starting point is 00:18:39 So we really went down. How do you guys do now with the band arguments? Do you know each other well enough, where you're just like, all right, I'm not going to say it this way, so. I mean, yeah, I think for most people involved, It's, I think we've, we've, we've come a long way, and I think we know how to talk to each other, you know, pretty respectfully. And, yeah, I think, I mean, I, you know.
Starting point is 00:19:09 That is a great thing, by the way. You know, I got some years on you. It is the amount of the older you get, the more arguments you can avoid. And you still learn how to be heard. Yeah. Like, me and my stand-up friends that I started with in our 20s, like, we almost killed. each other in our 20s. And then we sort of bottomed out in our 30s. In our 40s, we started to figure it out. And now we don't even argue anymore. Like you just sort of like, well, we don't have to do it the way you guys did it. Like we, you know, and I went on tour, maybe I would bring like one person with me.
Starting point is 00:19:43 But a few times I've gone out on a bus with like four or five other comedians. And then you quickly realize like, okay, this is the late guy. This is the pussy guy. This is the drug guy. Sometimes usually that's the same person. And, yeah, I went with one time this, the late guy. He would always miss the car ride to the airport. So then he would book another car.
Starting point is 00:20:06 And I finally said to him, I'm going, dude, you're costing us money. And he didn't know. He goes, dude, the tour pays for it. I had to be like, buddy, where the tour? Like, me and this other guy just paid two thirds of that car. Like, that should be billed to you. So at what point did you? guys,
Starting point is 00:20:25 uh, I'm glad you didn't do the therapist thing. I've seen bands do that. Like, just bring in, who's that giant guy with the big head, always yelling at people in those conference rooms? Tony,
Starting point is 00:20:38 Tony something or other. Just big, Tony, Tony Robbins. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Starting point is 00:20:45 like those guys, like that's sort of like, it's like, are you helping people or are you toxic? I can't, I can't. Like, you're kind of,
Starting point is 00:20:54 You're kind of yelling at broke people for being broke and tell them that need to get their shit together. Like whenever I see him yelling at somebody, I always feel like, I think this person needs some love. I think they need to be held or maybe he heard. I think they've been called a fucking idiot enough. Not that he literally does that, but I was kind of shocked when I, because he was always on regular TV. But when I saw the uncut version, I was kind of surprised that he was yelling at broke people like a special teams coach. Yeah. I mean, yeah, I don't, group therapy. I mean, I feel like that's weird when you're kind of a random person's opinion is going to override things. But I think maybe sometimes like mediators, I almost feel like every family should have a mediator or something. But I think mediators, theoretically, are not, or could help maybe. I don't know, some relationships. I don't know. I think it depends on the psychological makeup.
Starting point is 00:21:56 If you get a narcissist in there, they're only going to want to hear themselves talk, and they're not going to want somebody else to come in and hold them accountable. This has been my... Right. Wow. Okay. Can we have names, please? Specific names. Just kidding. I would just say this.
Starting point is 00:22:15 I had the required childhood to become a comedian. And this is where all of this is coming from. So you kind of live in, like, assimilation. And one of the, like, narcissists are hilarious from a distance. So you're talking about your family? If you're roughly, we'll say roughly. What's funny about them is they don't think anybody knows what the fuck they're talking about. Like they could be like a carpenter if they ran to an astronaut.
Starting point is 00:22:45 And if the astronaut started to tell them what it was like to go to the moon, they would interrupt and start explaining to the astronaut what they were doing. Like that's the sort of shit that I observed. Wow. When I grew up. Oh, yeah, no, it was, if I ever run into, you know, like outside of the internet, I can flesh out some of these stories. They're too fucking, they're really, you know, as far as me putting together my new hour, I've been touching on some of this stuff. And like, I really was sitting with my lovely wife the other night going like, I can't put this shit out.
Starting point is 00:23:21 Yeah. This is too fucked up. But I will say it in front of people with their phones locked up because I've been getting a lot of people coming up to be telling me they kind of had similar. I was really surprised at the amount of people that I thought it was just going to be, wow, this is madness. But I didn't expect it to be so relatable. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:50 Yeah. I mean, that's so many big topics like that, like how people just, it's almost like you need parent licenses. Obviously, you don't need one to have a kid, but maybe they could, you know, offer some kind of tax break to just like, at least just teach people a little bit how to maybe not fuck up kids so much. Yeah. There's like no guidance. No, they just kind of like, there's also, yeah, and there's also no very, very, very, you know, very. amazingly little information out there on how to help you not marry a psycho. Because what I think happened to a lot of people when I was growing up,
Starting point is 00:24:31 specifically women, by the time they realized that the person they married was a fucking lunatic, they were usually three kids in. And they kept buying, ah, baby, I'm sorry, I'm going to quit drinking or I'm going to quit doing this. I'm going to quit doing that. And then they would be like, you know, early 30s with a whole house full of kids. And it would be like, it was almost like the guy knew he was the psycho. So you just have a ton of kids so they couldn't leave. You just would bury them.
Starting point is 00:25:04 Bury them in babies. No. Which I heard was the working title for your album. Bury them in babies. I mean, that's related somehow. I just because yeah, I mean, you just, you people, you wise up later. It just takes so long to figure out who you are or what, I don't know, there's like two things. There's like what kind of person you want to be and then who you are, like honestly figuring that out.
Starting point is 00:25:36 And yeah, you just, you get a job you hate or marry the wrong. You just kind of, you're forced into these things. it's almost like I wish like you went to college in your 40s or something. That's when I'd be interested in learning. There's so much cool information out there, but it's like you're forced to
Starting point is 00:25:56 kind of learn it in your teens and you don't give a shit and then you're forced to make decisions that you're not ready to make. And then if you get out of it, I feel like maybe we have evolved through that. And I just feel like so much more in a better place now.
Starting point is 00:26:12 Well, I didn't know I liked to read until I was in my 30s because there was always, because they were always, you know, having you read like bail wolf for some shit from like 400 years ago. And I was just like, I hate this. I don't know what it's about. I'm stupid. I'm not good at reading. And then I didn't. And then one day I finally, I don't know, I somehow was in a bookstore one day. And I was just like, oh, wait, I can choose what I want to read.
Starting point is 00:26:39 No, I... This can be fun. Every book I read in school you hate, but then if you try reading outside, and yeah, it's just like, oh, wow, this is inspiring. All right, it's time for the reads here. It's Helix, everybody. Hellix, you know, there's nothing more important than a good night's sleep. A bad mattress can hinder your sleep, for God's sakes, which can affect your mood and your longevity. Next thing you know, you're fucking snapping at people.
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Starting point is 00:33:03 greater than five gigabytes, may, slow when network is busy includes up to 220 gb hotspot capable device required available speed and coverage various cementmobile.com I don't know they said it and it kind of felt like they took it away there in the end you know it's like when you got a shut out you let up that homer in the back of the night uh the back of the night the end of the night uh congratulations to the red sox by the way 15 game win street comes to a close but god damn it that was exciting dude let's start another one fast growing trees man Did you know fast-growing trees is America's largest, most trusted online nursery with
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Starting point is 00:35:07 I, I, I, we read this story and it was a short story and it was about this little kid who was up in a tree and he was yelling at these older kids. And he was annoying the shit out of him. I think they were playing catch and he was criticizing him and he was yelling at him and stuff. And in the end, he ends up falling out of the tree and he cries and his mother comes and gets him. So the teacher comes in, it's high school. And they're like, so what did you think of this story?
Starting point is 00:35:34 and everybody was like, go, stupid. I thought it was stupid. Everybody was saying it was stupid. And I was sitting there. I loved it because there was always that little wise-ass kid and you wanted to beat the fuck out of him and you couldn't because you'd get in trouble. And by an act of God, he falls out of the tree
Starting point is 00:35:54 and you got what you wanted. And then you could stay there and watch him cry in front of his mother and not get in trouble. His pain soothed me. No, now I don't look at the story that way, but that was probably, you know, those are the years when, you know, I was a teenager and I didn't think I was angry. I thought I was normal. This was a book?
Starting point is 00:36:21 It was a short story. So you had to go home, he had to read it. And that's what it was. It was some kid in the tree making fun of these older kids, throw playing catch. And then in the end, they wanted to beat the fuck out of him, but they couldn't because he was little. And then he fell out of the tree. It was great. I considered it a happy ending.
Starting point is 00:36:37 They all thought it was stupid. So anyway, this is, this is going to be a, this is going to be a tough segue. The album's called Reality Waits. The Wights, um,
Starting point is 00:36:49 I'm at a reality was waiting the guy in the tree. Yeah, I just want to, yeah, I want to congratulate you on this album. And what I love about your band is that you're continuing to grow. And this album does not sound
Starting point is 00:37:04 like any other album. One of the hardest things I think to do is to continue to grow as a band. I think, like, as a comedian, you can do it subtly. I definitely have people going, like saying I'm not funny anymore, but most of them are racist.
Starting point is 00:37:21 Wow. Oh, yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I get hammered on for that shit. Anyway. Which way? Oh, they don't like who I married and they don't like that, you know, so they think you're racist against white people.
Starting point is 00:37:37 I mean, I feel like I'm balanced. I make fun of Joe Biden. I make fun of Trump. I don't know what it is that they want. But like, you know, it's one of those things if you're, you know, if you're on the left, it's like fucking shut up these fucking celebrities about politics. Shut the fuck up. But then you can go to the UFC event at the White House.
Starting point is 00:37:59 And that's like totally fucking okay. It's just like, all right. That's not fucking hanging. out with celebrities and that's not hanging out. I don't know. I don't understand the math, but I haven't lost sight of what my job is. My job is to make fun of all of it. So that's kind of like what I do. And I don't know how we got on this thing. Oh, I was talking about how you guys
Starting point is 00:38:23 continue to grow as a band. And I know, you know, every single band when I was growing up, there was always somebody like, I liked their first two albums. Now they sold out. Like, you're supposed to to be eating fucking hot dogs without a bun for the rest of your life and that means that you're making good music and that always annoyed me especially once I started
Starting point is 00:38:43 doing stand-up that these people felt that they like why would you be upset that you know someone's continuing to grow so like when your albums come out it's an exciting thing as a music lover because I know that you're
Starting point is 00:38:59 going to try new stuff and I felt like a lot of of like, just like what the band was playing. I felt in a lot of areas that was more like a vibe or an aesthetic kind of thing. And then you doing the auto tune over it, like kind of like it worked. I thought it worked. So congratulations on that. And when are you coming to L.A.?
Starting point is 00:39:22 So I can see you guys. I mean, I'm personally going there in a few days. But we're playing on the 22nd of all. Oh, I'll be here. I don't know. Round the 29th I'll be on the road. Okay, where are you guys playing? We're playing.
Starting point is 00:39:41 It's a festival. I think it's in Pasadena, just like heaven. Oh, okay. What do you call that? I want to play, like the guy who whispers the line. Where, who? Andre? Yeah, you go line.
Starting point is 00:39:55 Little bus demon hiding over there. I didn't see you. All right. Well, we talked briefly about RVs. really quickly before we started because I was talking about your bus and you said how much you loved it and you would live on one. Will Farrell has a new series. I think it's on Netflix called The Hawk or something like that. He's a professional golfer. And it's really cool because the guy's absurd, but it's grounded. So it's getting to see Will do dramatic and his comedy stuff. It's really great.
Starting point is 00:40:27 But he has an old school bus that he pulls up in, an old school tour bus. Remember those old greyhounds where you'd have to step up? So you had the two-layer roof. Remember those? I'm older than you. And when you sat up, like you sat up much higher than the bus driver. So they had like a second windshield for people that were up there that was like on like the roof. It was only like, you know, like six inches or whatever.
Starting point is 00:40:55 It was like a double-decker? Sort of, but it wasn't. It wasn't. It was more like you stepped up. It was the ultimate in Greyhound luxury. and like the 60s and the 70s, and they had a few of those left over, but he has a tour bus like that. If you're a nerd like me and you want to check it out. In real life or on the show?
Starting point is 00:41:15 No, on the show. Oh, okay, okay. I don't know those guys. I'm just watching the show. All right. Anyways, the album comes out, which will be tomorrow when this comes out. It comes out on July 24th, an amazing new album from The Strokes. Reality Awaits. They are touring right now.
Starting point is 00:41:32 Go to, I imagine, thestrokes.com. Where can they go to find out where you got? Dot net? Hotmail? How do you do it? I mean, yeah, you can probably hear it anywhere. I don't know. YouTube, Spotify.
Starting point is 00:41:46 No, no, I'm saying for your tour dates, where they can find your tour dates. Oh, yeah, sure. Strokes.com. That sounds right. Thestrokes.com. Yeah, you can look up. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:55 It's the Internet. It's easy. All right. Hey, man. I came up during websites. Everybody had to have a fucking website. I don't know what I'm doing. So anyway, we're going to, you know, this cool thing that we do is we always play like
Starting point is 00:42:07 back-to-back epist. We have an old-school, almost like a rerun, like the old days of television. But in between Andrew Semilis, who you met earlier, always plays the track. And we would love to play a track off of your new album to get people excited to buy the album. So if you had to pick one, Julian, what are you going to go with? I guess you said you liked the last two songs. Why don't we start with do the last song that I was talking about earlier?
Starting point is 00:42:35 All right. Tyrants of the Mellow Moon. Yeah. Last song, second side. All right. Well, hey, man, it was really exciting to finally meet you. I've been watching you guys since way back in the day when I used to do. Remember that place, Surf Reality?
Starting point is 00:42:51 Did you ever play that place? No. Yeah, yeah. Sometimes they'd have bands. Sometimes they would have really just out there, comedy. I used to bomb there all the time, but it was worth bombing just because I would see cool bands and really cool performance. No, it was, I want to say it was just south of Houston.
Starting point is 00:43:15 Soho, as they call it. But it was more like on like the east side, and it was like shady. It was like 95, 96 when I used to go over there. Yeah, it was one of my favorite rooms. So anyways, all right. Well, thank you so much for, coming on. I hope this wasn't too painful to talk to a comedian about your new album, but you guys should be proud of yourself. I wish I want to interview you sometime. I should be interviewing you.
Starting point is 00:43:43 You're way more interesting and cool. And thanks for taking the time to help me move some units. Absolutely. At the end of the day, that's all it's about, pushing tickets and making money, you know? I mean, get another bag of blow. It would be cool to, yeah, talk not in public on the internet, but, you know, I get it. That's how. Well, whenever you're out here, hit me up. And my wife is always looking for an excuse for me to get out of the house because I, you know, you'll see. I'm a lot.
Starting point is 00:44:17 That would be amazing. No, man, such a fan and keep up the greatness. And, yeah. All right. Well, right back at you. Tireants of the Mellow Moon, the last song on the second side. of Reality Awaits, which comes out tomorrow, and check out the strokes on the road.
Starting point is 00:44:35 Julian, thank you so much for coming on. Thanks, Bill. Very nice meeting. Hope to see you soon. OK, bye-bye. So we go for one more ride. And that's OK, because I did my time. But now I wait when I will take everything I can.
Starting point is 00:45:01 Oh, I can. Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burrow, and it's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday, July 23rd, 2018. How's it going? How are you? What do you say there? Before I get going, I have something to promote. Oh, freckles. Old ringside red face is going to be at the next rough and rowdy event. August 1st in Youngstown, Ohio. Legendary. Legendary in the fight game. Youngstown, Ohio. It's Sunday, August 5th,
Starting point is 00:45:42 2018 at 7 p.m. Eastern Time. You can pre-order at RNR4, pay-per-view stream. You go right to their website, rough and rowdy brawl.com. R-O-U-G-H, the letter N, R-O-W-D-Y-B-R-A-W-L.com. Check it out. I was at the last one. And, you know, it's one of the most favorite things I've ever done in show business.
Starting point is 00:46:13 It's just, you know, it's everything you want to see. You know, it's conflicting groups of people, duking it out with not a lot of skill. And you just get to sit there and enjoy it. I'm thinking there's going to be a lot of maniacs there as, you know, Youngstown is no joke, all right? And I can't wait to be there and not fight anybody. Like the coward that I am. Having said that, let me be, let me live my best life. Let me be a hero to myself.
Starting point is 00:46:49 My goals for the second half of 2018 is to be my own personal hero. these fucking social media people, have you ever, like, there's nothing, I don't know, I didn't know where to begin with this. If I see one more fucking fat, miserable loser was wearing a t-shirt that has some sort of self-help advice to me like they've reached the mecca of peace and happiness. It's just like, is that fucking t-shirt for you or is it for me? You know, I just saw this fucking miserable-looking person sitting down in the air. airport, you know, tens and tens and tens of fucking pounds overweight, eating shit food with a t-shirt
Starting point is 00:47:39 that says love yourself. You know what I mean? And all of this fucking crap now where you pat people on the back because they're fucking up their lives, but they still feel good about it. You know what? I like who I am. I'm not saying you shouldn't like who you are, but I mean, you got to look at yourself in the mirror at some point and just be like, dude, the fuck are we doing here?
Starting point is 00:48:01 You know? Not saying I'm perfect. I'm not. Right? But I'm not, you know, sitting around here like calling myself a hero. You know, based off of all my fucking shortcomings. Hollywood puts pressure. It's not a Hollywood.
Starting point is 00:48:29 Hollywood gives people what they want. All right? You fucking cunts. I'm so sick of everybody blaming. This innocent town. We here in Hollywood happen to be some of the most dependable, loyal, honest human beings you're ever going to meet. I couldn't even get through without laughing. Whatever.
Starting point is 00:48:56 Fuck you. This time will give you whatever the fuck you buy. Okay. And you've been looking at fucking abs and big tits since the second they had moving pictures. So I don't want to fucking hear it. These fucking assholes. You know, then I like those other people, the fucking fat guys with the, with the tough guy shit on their shirt, you know. Do I look like I'll give a shit?
Starting point is 00:49:22 You know, that's, no, no, you don't. Yeah, I don't, I, I would believe that you don't give a shit about anything. All right? With your fucking fungus riddled toenails while wearing your little fucking flip-fops. Oh my God. Do you ever see people that their toenails? They look like fucking petrified wood. And they're literally walking around just, you know? I guess living their best life been making you look at them.
Starting point is 00:49:51 I swear to God, man. I saw somebody in airport recently that had these flip-flops that also had like this toenail flap on it. Which I was really excited. But I hear stomping feet. That can only mean one thing. Oh! Hey, buddy. How you doing?
Starting point is 00:50:09 Daddy's in here making a fool of himself. Look how big you're getting. Uh-oh. Come on. Come on, buddy. Do what your mom says. Trust me. I've tried it the other way.
Starting point is 00:50:32 It doesn't work. All right. The Monday morning podcast has been briefly interrupted. Oh, somebody's tired. Bye-bye. Oh, you want to say hi? Let me give her a hug.
Starting point is 00:50:48 Hang on. I get a pause. All right. I'm back. Crisis averted. The fuck was I talking about. How good? great people are in Hollywood, how trustworthy
Starting point is 00:50:58 we are. You know, there's a couple of bad apples, I'm not going to lie to you. There's a few people out here, you know. I might be one of those people. Who knows? You know? Anyways, what was I talking about? Doggone it. Ah, Jesus Christ, they just interrupted.
Starting point is 00:51:18 Christ had fucked up my whole flow. I don't know what I was talking. Who gives a shit, right? What do I hit stop and go back and fucking try and listen to it? Um, anyways, I have no idea what I was talking about. Let me plow ahead here. As I always do.
Starting point is 00:51:40 I swear to God, this fucking house. I swear to God, this fucking house. If it's not one thing, it's another. Every time I get something fixed, something else breaks. You know what I mean? This can't be what owning a house is like. I just, I had to have bought out.
Starting point is 00:51:59 It's got to be some sort of fucking lemon law. It's unfucking. It's unfucking believable. What are those people, they have a lawyer on retainer. That just means they're constantly getting in fucking trouble, so they're just constantly paying the fucking guy. I should have a plumber on retainer. I know what that means.
Starting point is 00:52:21 What the fuck does that mean? It just sounds cool. I have a lawyer on retainer. Oh my God. Oh, my God. Give me an idea what the fuck my dad does. That is got, I still cannot get over the fact that an adult. said that to another adult.
Starting point is 00:52:40 Do you have any idea what the fuck my dad does? You know, it's like, it's like you're there and the other guy's there. You guys are facing off with each other. And then the fuck another dude grabs him by the throat, throws him down to the ground, and then he stands up and all he has is, you're fucked. You're fucked. And evidently he walks away to go get his dad. The kid's in his 20s.
Starting point is 00:53:04 Dad! What's the matter? Is that 35-year-old across the street picking on you again, son? Anyways, I went down to Comic-Con, old freckles, who's done nothing but make fun of Comic-Con forever. I went down there on Thursday because Vince and all the guys that Better Call Saul were nice enough to ask me to mediate. Is that the word? Basically host the panel. the better call Saul to promote their season premiere, August 6th on AMC, season four premiere. And after that, the 10-year Breaking Bad reunion, 10 years since their first episode debuted, I would think, 2008. And I went down there and there was all these people dressed like superheroes.
Starting point is 00:54:01 Most people are not dressed up, but there's enough people that dressed up that it was cool. and I went down there. And I got to tell you, I really liked those fucking nerds, man. They were really cool people. I only teased them one time because I was saying something that was a spoiler.
Starting point is 00:54:15 And I was like, hey, spoiler alert. Everybody saw it last season, A Better Call Saw. You saw it happen in the last episode. And this dude down front was like, yeah, I didn't see it. And I was like, all right, well, stick a couple of lightsafers in your ear
Starting point is 00:54:28 because I have to fucking read the show. Something like that. And everybody laughed. Everybody had a good time with it. I wasn't sure, you know. The self-sets. sabotage in me wanted to walk out and open with, how you doing, you fucking nerds?
Starting point is 00:54:40 But I just didn't want to bring them back to high school. I figured I was in their dojo. I'm going to be polite. You know what I mean? As fun as it is to do what that fucking guy in Fox News did that one time when he went on that show with Barbara Walters. You know, remember that? And half the fucking crew of them walked off the stage.
Starting point is 00:55:02 I can't remember anybody's fucking names anymore. Anyways, I was down there, and I had a great time, and I flew with my instructor down there, and an R-44, it's the first time I've flown. I hadn't flown since the end of May. You know, I was overseas, you know, doing gigs and celebrating my birthday, probably far too long, admittedly. And then the last week of June, I, you know, in the beginning of July, I had to get caught up with all the work that I lost. I missed, I mean, sorry. And I flew, and I did all right, man. You know, a little rusty at first, and then it all fucking came back.
Starting point is 00:55:35 And I had my best effing landing I've ever had as far as, you know, not having to look at my instruments too much and just feeling it. Becoming one with the fucking machine, man. It was getting dark out. We came back to Burbank. And we were listening to the AITIS, which is just the information that's updated every hour for the airport. You have to listen to it. at some computer voice. You know,
Starting point is 00:56:06 Wins coming, 270.0. You have information Yankee. So then you get on with Burbank Tower. You're like Burbank Tower. Helicopter, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's fucking Hollywood Reservoir.
Starting point is 00:56:18 Requesting full stop at Atlantic with information Yankee. So they know you got the latest information. Then they tell you what to do. And there was a bunch of traffic coming in. So they told us to hold over old Mako, which is this fucking hunk of shit, Macy's off the 170s
Starting point is 00:56:32 that they're finally redoing. And you just fucking. orbit over there to all the big boys go in and then they say you know helicopter blah blah blah cleared for landing runway 8 west of delta 8 so then you just say all that shit back so i said all that shit back i come in they got the uh the fucking whatever they go you know those those fucking the power lines there should that chop your head off i flew over the tower like you're supposed to not over the wires and then i was coming in at the right speed because it was a jet behind me but I was a little too high
Starting point is 00:57:06 so I just banked it really hard using my Gs to make the fucking helicopter heavier. Don't ask me how physics right and then it fucking came down I was coming down like 600 feet per minute which as long as I'm moving forward is fine but as I slowed down to 300 commercial fucking landing
Starting point is 00:57:22 right in the fucking glide path right on the numbers and fucking banged the left on Delta 8 and my instructor goes that's the best landing you've ever done you're becoming one with the helicopter and I turned around and my wife's in the back and her headphones weren't working and she didn't hear it and you know what I hate to say it so it was like it never happened and I was literally sitting there like a five-year-old talking to my mom going yeah did you hear that did you and she's like what no I can't I can't
Starting point is 00:57:50 you know there's a part of me that actually thinks she did hear it you know but to keep me in fucking line to keep me keep chasing the fucking carrot she acted like she didn't hear it So anyways, moving long, I want to thank everybody on the cast of Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul for doing the heavy lifting and telling the stories and all that. I mean, I was having like, you know, nightmares about hosting that and me turning into the real version of Chris Farley, you know, that character he would do. Hey, Paul McCarty, remember you and John Lennon, you guys wrote the White album? Yes, Chris, yes, I do. That was awesome. Like, I was worried that I was going to be doing that.
Starting point is 00:58:41 I'm not going to say there wasn't a couple moments of that. But, you know, the whole time I was up there, I was like, why didn't they get Jimmy Kimmel to do this? That's my first fucking thought. Because I remember he did the, when they had the final episode. And in L.A., they did this thing at the, Hollywood Forever Cemetery. And they showed the
Starting point is 00:59:08 final episode you could sit outside and fucking with all these other Breaking Bad fans. It was really a fucking awesome night. And Kimmel hosted it and he did a great job. So I imagine the reason why he didn't do it was because he had to host his own show. And yeah, that makes sense. He had host his talk show tapes at five
Starting point is 00:59:29 and that was going to be from 3 to 530 down in San Diego. Oh, there we go. There you go. That's why old freckles got called up from the miners, for a cup of coffee. Speaking of called up from the miners and a cup of coffee and all that. I'm back into watching the Red Sox. Braley's paying attention, man.
Starting point is 00:59:50 I started with me like using, listening to baseball as a way to not flip out in traffic. And, you know, and just settling in to just, I just stopped fighting the city, just like, yeah, man, there's going to be a lot of traffic. There's going to be a lot of people doing things that I'm not going to like. And I just need to just sit there and watch it happen. And just sort of inch along as I listen to five innings of a baseball game and go maybe three quarters of a mile. That's what I'm going to do.
Starting point is 01:00:24 And that's what I'm going to do. And I just listen to the Red Sox games. And the Red Sox, I'll tell you, dude, they're on fire. I was worried that the All Star break was going to slow him down. They'd won 10 out of 11. I'm sorry, they won 11 out of... Not 10 out of 11. They won 11 out of 12.
Starting point is 01:00:44 That's right, because they went 10 and 0, then they lost one. And then they won right before the All-Star game. I know I sound like the fucking rain, man. Then we just took 2 out of 3 from the Tigers, so we won 13 out of the last 15. And the Yankees just keep winning, too. But I got to tell you, I watched a little bit of the Astros, too. I've been watching those guys.
Starting point is 01:01:04 I still think they're the team to beat. They get Verlander. They got a great pitching staff. They got the bats. They got the whole fucking thing. And they won it last year. And nobody's really talking about it. Everybody's all excited for fucking Yankees, Red Sox.
Starting point is 01:01:19 And this is what I think. All right. Yankees bullpen sucks. That's going to come back and bite him in the ass. And Chris Sale is our guy. And, you know, as much as I love David Price, you know, he had a really rough outing against the Yankees in New York. And him cursing out Dennis Eckersley. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:01:48 I don't know. That goes like, oh, that's a Hall of Famer, man. You don't curse out a fucking Hall of Famer. So I'm worried that that guy is a little, you know, what are you? A little shaky between the, uh, the year. there. Little old Del Beckham there, right? You know, I don't know. I hope he isn't. Because if he isn't, we got two beasts. He is a beast,
Starting point is 01:02:18 but I'm just worried that when he went down in New York and all those people, let's go, Yankee! You fire! Fuck you! You're being fuck! He kind of imploded. Rather than being like, I'm going to ruin that fat, man-titted, singing, fucking jackass Yankee fan. They still do that roll call thing. It's like, Jesus Christ, I always feel like a musical's going to break out after that. Yeah, they do have a lot of that. And then they do the YMCA thing. I mean, it's just,
Starting point is 01:02:47 you know, and every time you think that's the worst thing, then we sing Sweet Caroline. It's just, I don't know what has happened to both of those franchises. It's so weird how so much shit just got nicer, but people are so much meaner in a way. You know? Like you go to New York City. Like, fucking Yankees. I went to a game in 1983 there. The whole family went down there. And it was like taking your fucking, we went to a day game. And as you got to New York, there was literally cars just burned out on the side of the fucking highway. And I don't mean in the middle of nowhere on some side road, on the side of the highway, like burned to the fucking ground.
Starting point is 01:03:35 I remember that was one of the things when Giuliani got in office. So it was one of the first things he did was he got those things off of the highway. It was such a bad fucking look for New York. Or maybe it was a good look because it was warning terrorists, tourists, about what they were about to experience. But I don't know, everybody who gives Giuliani credit? Who was the head, the chief of police there that he fired along the way so he'd get all the credit? Oh, Bill, do you always have to be a cunt?
Starting point is 01:04:02 Yeah, I do. Juliani Chief of police fired Let's see this guy's Come on Come on slow internet
Starting point is 01:04:17 He's Bill Burr He has the slowest internet In Los Angeles Still fucking going Um And now man I don't even know I don't even know
Starting point is 01:04:31 Like a sporting event There used to always be like an old Men of hey Keep your head on a fucking swivel And Jesus Christ You have no idea what you're going to see Like people acted like fucking animals.
Starting point is 01:04:40 It was fights in the stands and all that type of shit. I'm not saying, obviously, that I wanted to go back to that. But somewhere along the line, like, it just became like, it's just weird. It's like you're going to a Chucky Cheese. It's still loading, by the way. Still loading. That's probably because I typed in Giuliani and something negative. That's my guess.
Starting point is 01:05:04 I'm going to go with the old conspiracy theory here. Yeah, anyways, I don't know. If you go to sporting events now, it's like every time there's a stoppage of then something happens up on the fucking flat screen. Everybody just stares at it with their mouth hanging open. And I really think that that's like this thing so people like don't fight and behave themselves. You know, you know, you get that camera on your flat screen TV and all those fucking nerds at the best by sit there watching you jerking off to the fucking Charlie's Angels on me TV, whatever you're doing, right? But, you know, in between those times when they're waiting for you to fuck your wife or whatever those fucking nerd perverts are doing down there,
Starting point is 01:05:45 that for some reason is not fucking enforced. You know what I mean? You got all this fucking Me Too shit happening. And meanwhile, these fucking nerds are watching you in your living room. I'm not making this shit up like they've gotten busted doing it. I don't know why they admitted to it. They're like, are you doing that? They're like, oh, you know, we're not going to say we're not.
Starting point is 01:06:17 Anyways, yeah, they just sit there fucking. I mean, if you're going to, if you're going to go out, after the pervert. Okay, Giuliani renews ties with police chief he ousted.
Starting point is 01:06:31 In 1995, William J. Bratton left the New York City police commissioner with Mayor Rudolph Giuliani, the two men.
Starting point is 01:06:40 Yeah, that's the guy. And what I've heard, granted, this might have been people that hated Giuliani, which God knows a lot of people do. This might be bullshit,
Starting point is 01:06:52 but I don't know. Who's this coming from? This is the New York Times. All right. So they hate Giuliani. All right. The two men, Rudolph Giuliani and his former police commissioner,
Starting point is 01:07:02 William J. Bratton, had not spoken to each other in 10 years. This is from 10 years ago. This was written. When they had crossed past the social gamut, they exchanged little more than icy nods. But time, tragedy, and presidential campaign has started to change all of that.
Starting point is 01:07:16 All right. I don't know what the fuck is. I think that was the guy that really turned it around. That started it on the road where it's now like, it's weird. It's like a, my father-in-law said, when he came down and he was standing in Brooklyn, and goes, gee, wow, this is like, it's like a theme park. You know, it's like people ride bicycles along the river and all this stuff.
Starting point is 01:07:42 It's sort of like a, it's sort of like if you have money, it's become this utopia or something. I don't know. When does the pendulum swing back? That's what I want to know. Jesus Christ. Because I imagine in the 70s, when. New York almost went bankrupt. There was a bunch of old people going,
Starting point is 01:08:07 I remember when this place was a dreamland. When was that, Grandma? Back when whites were only allowed to play baseball. Back when hippos, well, I suppose those things weren't right, but you could leave your door unlocked. That is the thing, man. Anytime you say good old days,
Starting point is 01:08:34 there's always some fucked up shit going on, right? I don't know. Yeah, Bill. Yeah, that really wasn't anything deep. I didn't say it was. All right. So what I've been doing lately, besides not boozing, I'll tell you right now, oh, fucking, uh, old freckles here, I haven't drank all this month.
Starting point is 01:08:59 It's been great, man. It's really been great. I'm still fucking tired, though. Having a kid, you're still tired. But, um, I remember, like, I remember one day waking up when I was on the road, anticipating a hangover. and not having one. And I was like, wow.
Starting point is 01:09:17 It's pretty awesome, you know? I'm trying to eat well. Thinking of talking to a nutritionist. You know what I'm saying? I got to get the answers to the test here. Rather than listening to fucking every Tom, Dick, and Harry. You know, Dean Del Rey knows what the fuck he's talking about,
Starting point is 01:09:34 but I'm getting bored with the diet. I got to add other shit and want to add some vegan meals, you know? You know, not because I want to go vegan, just because I know you eat them, then, you know, your stomach is flatter. Just give my body a break from, you know, beef, borgian, skirt steaks and all of that shit, you know. I saw this thing the other day.
Starting point is 01:09:57 It's like, you just, you don't even know who to fuck to believe. Like, one of the things, you know, when you look at vegetarians and you look at vegan people, you know, there's an astounding level of fleshy fat people that don't eat meat. You know what I mean? and they'll eat French fries because it's made from potatoes and they're a vegetarian, but it's fried. And they'll say, you know, potatoes aren't good for you anyways as far as I know. I may, I shouldn't even say that.
Starting point is 01:10:24 Now, I don't want to be all Oprah here and get people to stop eating potatoes. And then the whole fucking potato farm farming industry sues me here at the Monday morning podcast. But there's just a lot, you know, they eat like fucking just all carbohydrates and shit. And they just stay away from meat. I think a lot of people love animals, but they hate. reading is what I've sort of learned from looking at vegetarians and vegan people. You know, so they don't eat meat, but then they don't really know what the fuck it is they're doing. But the people that do take the time to do it right, like nobody who lived in this house
Starting point is 01:11:04 for a hundred fucking years evidently, took the time to do something right. Oh, they didn't do that. They just called their fucking friend to fix it, didn't it? Fuck it in a permit. Fuck it in somebody licensed. Fuck all of that. What did they do? They just fucking lived here.
Starting point is 01:11:26 They had a problem. They asked a friend. And I think a lot of vegans and vegetarians do that. They fucking talk to people rather than reading. And that's what I do, because it's easier. It's easier than sitting down and actually doing the fucking work. So, you know, I see that, you know, like can anybody, if Gundy your fucking head, can anybody tell you whether having an egg is good for you are bad at this point?
Starting point is 01:11:54 Eggs have been good, bad, good, and now they're starting to be bad again while people who are saying they're good are fucking, you know, they're duke in it. This is like the rubber match, the rubber game, whatever the fuck it's called, right? So I'm going to talk to a nutritionist and I'm going to, you know, try to read up on it, but it's really dry. And if you actually look up shit on becoming a vegetarian or, or, you know, or eating a little like that, like a vegan or something.
Starting point is 01:12:23 I mean, it's just Hatfields and McCoy's between the fucking meat eaters, the carnivores and the vegetarian people, and there's a lot of money at stake. No pun intended. Sorry about that. So,
Starting point is 01:12:39 I think, like, the big farming cattle fucking people, you know, they're trying to have all their shit come up first and then all the tree hugging like hey man like you know trees are alive man those fucking people are trying to say that you know eating meat is is like like I saw this thing right well they was saying that this guy was trying to say that like animals get protein from eating plants and when you eat an animal it's an indirect protein because she should just gone directly
Starting point is 01:13:17 to the plant. And it's like, well, then explain tigers in their fucking, you know, Mr. universe physiques. As far as I know, which is I don't know shit. So I should shut up right now in Google. What do tigers eat? What do tigers eat? Meat only? I wonder. They're always in a bad mood. I can't even take a shit. Siberian. The species died ordinary, about 50% wild boar meat. Doesn't that sound delicious? If they cannot get their paws on some wild boar, they've been known to eat elk. Deer and licks. They're like, what are you fucking with me for, man?
Starting point is 01:14:04 I didn't do nothing. And sometimes even bears. Oh my God, what size? Jesus Christ. That's a big thing in Asia, huh? Putting like a bear and a tiger and a fucking king. cage and just filming it. If large sources of meat are not readily available, Siberian tigers will eat rabbits, fish,
Starting point is 01:14:29 and any rodents they can get to. Let's see. Okay. Well, there's no meat in that. And that's the first thing I saw. Do tigers eat plants? What do tigers eat? Siberian, the species diet consists.
Starting point is 01:14:52 It's still this. Tigers diet eating. Tigers eat a variety of plants. prey ranging in size from termites to elephant calves. Oh, that would break my heart to see a baby elephant get killed. However, an integral component of the diet are large body prey weighing 45 pounds or larger such as moose. What do you fucking mean moose and bear? Where the fuck are those things?
Starting point is 01:15:18 I thought they were the moose were only over here. Deer species, pigs, cows, horses, buffaloes, and goats. Yeah, well, they have a different digestive system, evidently, because if you just fucking ate that, they're basically on the Atkins diet, right? Yeah, he's as much fucking bacon as you want. Tiger's looking at you like, yeah, I realize that. I realize that. So anyways, I'm going to try to fucking, I don't know. I'm going to talk to nutrition.
Starting point is 01:15:51 Somebody read all the shit that I'm supposed to read and maybe try to get them to tell me some, oh, Bill. Are you really going to buy books of nutrition? like you're going to fucking read them. Do they have a lot of pictures? Anyways, I should probably read some advertising. I don't feel like fucking doing that. Hey, I'm almost like halfway through this season six of 77 sunset strip. And evidently, as I said, season six, you got to watch it.
Starting point is 01:16:24 It's on a 4 a.m. on Me TV. Just tape the fucking thing. I'm going to get more people to watch it, because I'm worried because I found out that they started broadcasting all the episodes back in November, and I missed the first five seasons. And we're getting towards the end here of season six because they didn't do a full season. They got canceled like three quarters of the way through. And I'd like to see the original ones because I'd like to see what L.A. look back then.
Starting point is 01:16:49 You know, hopefully they do some exteriors, although I know most of it was filmed on the back lot, filmed on the back lot in Warner Brothers. But I'm loving this season. So I'm worried that the other one's going to be a little hokey. Because I guess a lot of people didn't like season six. First of all, they fired the whole fucking cast. As I mentioned. Sorry.
Starting point is 01:17:14 But I also didn't realize that they made Ephraimless Jr.'s character a lot more surly. But I'm loving them. So now I'm worried that I saw season six first. And if I go back and look at the others, I'm not going to like the show. The same way of the other people. Because you just get used to how the guy behaves. know, but some of the lines, man, some of the shit that people say on there. Here's some, and like, you know, women are, are talking about how guys behave around them,
Starting point is 01:17:42 you know, like, and some of the shit that they say, it's like, Jesus Christ, I mean, I'm sure that guy's out there, but what the fuck, you know? Season 6 of 77 sunset strip, sounds like what some of these women are describing. Here's some of the shit I heard them say Guys saying to women on that show Pipe down Shut up Not to mention
Starting point is 01:18:09 Ephraim Tries to bang his fucking secretary Tried to look up her dress one episode I'm just sitting there going this guy would get me-toed so fucking fast And have his full head of hair spinning Right And then my favorite one ever Favorite one ever as I mentioned on another podcast
Starting point is 01:18:25 He sat down in this episode with the actor that ended up playing the professor by Gilligan's Island. Sorry, I'm talking through yons right now. The actor that played the professor in Gilligan's Island, and the guy was three drinks in, and Ephraim's meeting him. It's the middle of the day,
Starting point is 01:18:47 and the guy orders his fourth drink, and Ephraim goes, you got a pretty act available for lunchtime. You want the sauce? That is the one thing. also that I love about that show. It makes you feel better about drinking and smoking because Ephraimble is almost made 90.
Starting point is 01:19:12 And there's barely a scene he's not smoking a cigarette and he's really smoking it too. And that's just on the take that they use. So who knows? All right. With that, should I read a little bit of advertising? Yeah, why don't I do that? 77 Sunset Strip.
Starting point is 01:19:30 Oh, Jesus. Here we go. There's somebody new. Hey, by the way, you know what, I got an email from Darren King, incredible drummer. One of the best drummers I've ever seen, to be honest with you. And I had no idea that he could sing and play guitar. But he did a cover of Richie, oh my God, I'm saying, is it Richie Havens? Let me make sure I have this right.
Starting point is 01:20:02 Yes, I was correct. Richie Havens does a song called Freedom. And he did a cover version of that that then goes into something else that is fucking incredible. I tweeted out the video and we'll have a link to it on the M.M. Podcasts. Jesus Christ, you know. Watching how talented that guy is, I don't even know what the fuck I'm even doing in this business, man. Incredible, incredible. Monster talent. Check it out.
Starting point is 01:20:29 And I heard he has a solo album coming out. People are alluding to it. I hope he does. If he does, we're going to promote it here. and I hope you guys buy it because he is the real deal. All right. Let's check out some... Am I going to read some stories?
Starting point is 01:20:45 I know what I'm actually going to do? I actually came across this fucking thing. It says news is bad for you. Okay? This is from something the guardian.com. It says news is bad for you and giving up reading it will make you happier. All right? Now I'll tell you right now.
Starting point is 01:21:04 I didn't need this fucking article. to tell me this. I just realized it. I figured it out after I went down a rabbit hole of fucking, uh, you know, conspiracy theory. You guys remember that? People listened to the podcast 10 years ago. I mean, I was fucking, I was, you know, I was missed a, you know, chem trail guy, you know. I was that guy saying you got to shut down the Federal Reserve and I had no solution to do, like, what would, what you would do after that, you know? I'm sure people that are well read on it had the solution, but I didn't. So I was just watching. walking around freaking people out. I was a
Starting point is 01:21:38 cunt, basically. So anyways, it says news is bad for your house. So I just stopped watching the shit. All right? I'm just banking on the fact that there's going to be some smart people with a good heart that
Starting point is 01:21:56 are going to lead us out of this fucking mess because I don't have any solutions. All right? I go on stage. I jump around like a monkey and I make you laugh. Okay? That's my lane. And as the rock used to say, know your role and shut your mouth. So I'm staying over there. I try to watch the news. I try. I can't, you know, it's the weirdest thing. Going from Obama to Trump, going from Obama, where all they did was lick his balls for eight years. And then they go to Trump.
Starting point is 01:22:26 And it's just like all they do is shit on the guy the entire fucking time. And they're both kind of doing, you know, with the foreign policy, the same fucking shit, although I don't, Trump is like a fucking lunatic. You know what I mean? I heard, I was listening to the Howard Stern show and he went on this fucking rant about Russia. It was just not talking about the fucking people, just talking about, you know, old Vladdi Daddy over there.
Starting point is 01:22:55 He goes, I'm sick of people fucking talking about Russia. You know, like they're not that bad. He's like, they fucking, you know, they kill gay people. They kill reporters just for having a difference of opinion. And he's right. he's fucking right um i don't know i i once that his his his his fucking wife wore that coat when he was going to go visit those kids that she was going to go visit those kids that they had stuck in cages and she wore a jacket that said i don't really care to you and then try
Starting point is 01:23:28 oh that it had to do with fake news it's just like it's literally like listening to a toddler lie and i god bless you if you can still watch that and try and stay politically active because, I don't know, it's just too fucking depressing. I can't fucking deal with it. So I choose not to watch. And the last presidency, you know, I just, I just, it was, I couldn't fucking, you know, I had hope. And then I was just like, oh, oh, this is going to be more of the same.
Starting point is 01:24:01 Oh, bankers don't go to jail. Oh, yeah, insurance companies can do whatever, whatever they fucking want. And, yeah, we're not going to constructively criticize our. foreign policy and we're just going to stay the fucking course and shut down the government every fucking August for a week. And our solution is always going to be to say, well, what if we raise the debt? Right. You know, and then meanwhile, everything that his wife did was just considered like angelic.
Starting point is 01:24:24 The whole fucking thing was annoying. That was like, when he was in office, it was like watching a fucking award show. Everybody's just walking around blowing each other talking about how fucking brilliant they are. And then this, we went from an award. show to a fucking train wreck. I honestly don't know how people have the stomach to pay attention. Like, you're a whole other level tough mentally than I am. So anyways, here's this whole fucking article here.
Starting point is 01:24:53 It says, news is bad for you and giving up reading it will make you happier. All right. In the past few decades, the fortunate among us have recognized the hazards of living with an overabundance of food, parentheses, obesity and diabetes. and having started to change, have started to change our diets. But most of us do not yet understand that news is to the mind what sugar is to the body. News is easy to digest. The media feeds of small bites of trivial matter, tidbits that don't really concern our lives and don't require thinking.
Starting point is 01:25:25 That's why we experience almost no saturation. Unlike reading a book or long magazine articles which require thinking, we can swallow limitless quantities of news flashes, which are bright colored candies for the mind. Today we have reached the same point in relation to the, to information that we faced 20 years ago in regard to food. We're beginning to recognize how toxic news can be. And I agree with all of this, but everybody can't stop paying attention or else, you know, somebody has to pay attention, right? Somebody's got to be like, you know, she can't put it on cruise control. So I don't know if I 100% agree with this.
Starting point is 01:26:00 I just know I'm not going to be the Gandhi that leads us out of this. You know, so as long as I know that, I mean, I will be just. can be content to listen to Howard in the morning, and then I listen to fucking baseball at night. That's what the fuck I do. I don't pretend to know things. All right. News misleads. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 01:26:24 What? Take the following event. A car drives over a bridge, and the bridge collapses. What is the news media focus on? The car, the person in the car, where he came from, where he planned to go. How he, was he transitioning? They didn't say that. How he experienced the crash, parentheses, if he survived, but that is all irrelevant.
Starting point is 01:26:44 What's relevant? The structural stability of the bridge. That's the underlying risk that has been lurking and could lurk in other bridges. All they get to that, after they go painstakingly through the horror of the end of that man's life or life-altering injuries, and then they get to his family and they're all crying and all of that shit. You know, as much as a moron as I am, I always turn that shit off. You know, like out here, we had a hostage situation at a Trader Joe's. And the people I was with were just watching it and watching and watching it.
Starting point is 01:27:19 It's like, like, just out of curiosity, what are you going to do if this guy just runs out and start shooting people in the fucking head? Like, you want to watch this? These people in the store are fucking terrified. This is the worst fucking moment of their life. All right? the news eventually is going to tell you what happened and they're going to give you an edited version so you don't have to see people's brains getting blown out
Starting point is 01:27:41 you know and why you know they literally had like the employees were crying and all that shit and then I found on the end you know some poor woman died it was it's fucking terrible I'm just going to sit at home watching it for hours ordering food you know going online are they tweeting from there or what's going on
Starting point is 01:28:01 and then all these fucking assholes on YouTube, I don't know, YouTube on Twitter. One of these social media people are going to go on and say the obvious. Oh my God, this is so sad. I'm like freaking out right now. I love that. Oh, is that what you're doing? Are you freaking out of the safety of your own home?
Starting point is 01:28:18 Why don't you make this about yourself? You fuck. Oh, Jesus. Social media, I bet, is people. There's a lot of shit that says that's depressing, too. But you know what? Podcasts actually feed the soul. I believe I'm part of the problem.
Starting point is 01:28:33 News misleads. Bill Burr misleads. Anyways, plowing ahead. We are not rational enough to be exposed to the press. See, this guy saying we're all dumb. Watching an airplane crash on television is going to change your attitude toward that risk, regardless of its real probability. If you think you can compensate with the strength of your own inner contemplation,
Starting point is 01:28:54 you are wrong. I think the subtext of this is, you dumb fuck. Bankers and economists who have powerful and. incentives to compensate for news-borne hazards have shown that they cannot. The only solution cut yourself off from the news consumption entirely. News is irrelevant. Out of the approximately 10,000 news stories you have read in the last 12 months, name one, that because you consumed it, allowed you to make a better decision about
Starting point is 01:29:23 a serious matter affecting your life, your career, and your business. Well, I would say anything about the environment, you know? Jesus, this guy's chip off the old block here. Pain with a broad brush. The point is, the consumption of news is irrelevant to you, but people find it very difficult to recognize what's relevant. It's much easier to recognize what's new. All right, I think we get the point here.
Starting point is 01:29:48 News has no explanatory power. News items are bubbles popping on the surface of a deeper world. Ooh, that's deep. That's not like a fucking progressive rock band, like a line in the song. in 7-4, I imagine. Will accumulate facts that help you understand the world? Sadly, no.
Starting point is 01:30:09 The relationship is inverted. The important stories are non-stories. I would agree with that. Slow, powerful movement that develop below journalists' radar but have a transforming effect. The more news factoids you digest, the less of the big picture you will understand. Maybe this is why everybody's yelling each other.
Starting point is 01:30:26 News is toxic to your body. I'll just read the headlines here. News increases cognitive errors. News inhibits thinking. News works like a drug. News waste time. News makes us passive. Well, that worked with me. News kills creativity. Well, there you go. Jesus Christ. That's pretty fucking negative, huh? Let's get to some positive shit. I got a fucking note from possible visit to Dovronvik, Rovnik, Croatia, my friend. While you're checking where the hell I'm contacting you from, let me jump you with invitation to my country slash city. I run brewery, and we are in debt at the moment, so don't expect this is money-interesting invitation.
Starting point is 01:31:15 This is opportunity for you to check out crazy side of Baclin's and getting hours and hours of future material. By the way, you're funny. Well, thank you, sir. that read like a fucking ransom note from Eastern Europe. And I would be lying to you if I wasn't a little afraid to go to your bar. I need a couple of those in there, you know. While you're checking where, oh, you got the hell I'm contacting you from. Let me jump in with an invitation.
Starting point is 01:31:44 Let me jump in with invitation. You fucking talk like Ivan Drago. Listen, buddy, I'm going to try to get as close to Dombrovnik as I possibly can. I wish your bar was making more money. And I'd love to go in there and help you out with your fucking monthly rent by booze my face off. But I don't, I can tell you, I don't think I'm going to make it there. Eastern European Tour. Jesus Christ, this is all I'm getting. This is all Eastern Europe, where, Eastern European Tour.
Starting point is 01:32:17 Dear Billy Baldberger. Oh, come on. I was feeling, I was feeling good about myself. I'm a huge fan of your comedy and F is for family is my favorite thing on Netflix. Well, thank you very much. Therefore, I am very excited that you're thinking of visiting Prague, Czech Republic.
Starting point is 01:32:34 Comedy scene in Prague is pretty much non-existence. Oh, geez. So I'm sure you would kill with your knock-knock jokes. If you are interested, pint of beer costs between one to two dollars and it's delicious.
Starting point is 01:32:47 You also have to try traditional alcohol drink Slivovis. It's made from distilled plums and has about 51% of alcohol. Okay, I'm in. You could visit the Czech Hockey Hall of Fame, or you could go to see Yarmir Yager play some second division hockey. Oh, that would be cool as shit.
Starting point is 01:33:09 I'm probably only going to be there for a night. I think this is going to be a bunch of one-nighters here. A while back you mentioned you saw the movie Anthropoid about a Czechoslovakian paratro. was assassinating high-ranking German Nazi official. I love that movie. The movie ends with the final shootout in the church. You can actually go to the crypts of the
Starting point is 01:33:28 church and see the bullet holes from the incident. I'm fucking doing that. I hope you decide to come and share your American wisdom with us savages. Thanks and go make love to your lovely wife. Oh, thank you. God bless you. Go fuck your wife, you fucking red-headed prick. Eastern European tour. Hey, Bill.
Starting point is 01:33:49 I've just wanted to say that I know a lot of people waiting for you to come to Poland. Oh, great. I guess your agents already figured out that Warsaw seems the most logical place to do your show as it's the biggest city in the capital and it's located somewhat in the middle of the country. So most of the people from outside Warsaw like me will be able to come and see you live. I'm 100% sure you'll sell out all of the tickets. Plus Warsaw is a great place to visit because of its history and of course all the cool stuff going on there. I guess people from the states think you'll see white bears and trams and horse-drawn carts in the street, but that's not the case.
Starting point is 01:34:20 I didn't think that. I just thought I'd see four people trying to screw in a light bulb. Ah, I'm sorry. Just like everywhere else, we've got hipsters and Starbucks, moderately fat, lazy fucks and shopping malls and generally people wasting their lives on social media. Yeah, that's a recurring thing. Anyway, my friends and I can't wait for your show. Thanks to go fuck yourself. Yeah, everybody's staring at their phones is a big thing.
Starting point is 01:34:44 And I do that all the time. Persistent cold. You may have walking pneumonia. go see a doctor when you get back to L.A. I need a doctor. Soft tires and Nazi symbolism. I love this guy. This guy's just doing the whole gamut, isn't he?
Starting point is 01:35:04 Run in the gamut. Hey, let's look that up. Let's see what the fuck that means. How did that expression come about? All right. Run the gamut origin, meaning the entire range. The word gamut traces its origins to the middle ages and a system for designating musical notes around the turn of the second millennium.
Starting point is 01:35:28 But fuck, you mean the second millennium? I thought this was the second millennium. 2000, right? Isn't it a millennium a thousand years? A medieval monk developed a system. Oh, Jesus, Bill. You know, just gets to the point. I try to be informed.
Starting point is 01:35:49 Like, the second you're going to bring up a fucking monk, around the turn of the second millennium, Guido of Arizzo, a medieval monk, developed a system of solmization, i.e. designating musical notes by syllable names. While today we are familiar with the sung syllables, do re me faso latito. Back in Guido's time, he died in 1050. They had a hextonic scale, six note. And he used the symbol, Othri me, fae, soul.
Starting point is 01:36:24 And la, and la. The Oot represented the lowest note. Otre B, far soul, and la. And la. I can't. That's why I play drums and tell jokes. U.T. U.U.T. U.S. represents the lowest tone recognized in music theory at that time. The second G below middle C.
Starting point is 01:36:48 What the fuck? I don't give a fuck about what is the gamut. What is the gamut? The range of notes? Okay, building on this denotation, detonation? I don't know. Gamut eventually came to mean the whole musical scale. Oh, so you're running the whole fucking scale.
Starting point is 01:37:07 Okay. Jesus Christ. All right. Hey, Bill. Soft tires and Nazi symbolism, by the way. Hey, Bill, I think I can answer both of your questions from Thursday's podcast. I'm in law school and a motorsport fanatic. So the questions, these questions are right in my wheelhouse.
Starting point is 01:37:24 All right. You're in law school? So you know about Nazi symbolism? Do you prosecute hate crimes, I hope? Number one, why the soft tires in MotoGP? Principally, you're right. I know it. The tires degrade towards the end of the race. So it makes sense to use harder ones to get consistent performance, especially now that slightly sliding the bike is the quickest way around the track. How the fuck you learn how to do that is crazy. I mean, I've seen people do that. cars, you know, drifting, but you know, you're on four wheels. Like the level of balance and scale, the ability to become one with the machine. It's a work of art. In Germany, Lorenzo used a soft front tire while Marquez took the hard one. For the rears, Lorenzo was on a medium tire and Marquez on the soft. Marquez is a special driver and tends to get a better feeling for the bike with a hard tire. The sidewall simply don't wobble around too much. Lorenzo's bet was to use the superior pace of the soft tire, more grip, to build enough of an advantage to win. This is fascinating.
Starting point is 01:38:34 Marquez, meanwhile, expected a tight field and wanted to nurse his tires while keeping with the pack, thus having enough tire left for the last lap and a final attack for a win, which is exactly what he did. Simply put, the drivers have to decide between an early pace advantage and therefore superior track position with soft tires and the consistency of the hards. Add changing conditions, different riding styles and bikes to that, and you'll see how hard it is to pick up a winning package. Well, my thing is, is there a way for him to know what Mark Marquez is going to be running, considering he's the best rider out there, as far as I can tell?
Starting point is 01:39:14 No disrespect to Jorge Lorenzo. I know he's won it a couple times, but the championship, I believe, he's won two of them. No matter what tire you're going to have, you're not going to open up this, like, insurmountable lead. So I just think eventually that soft tire is going to fucking wear out, and then Marquez is behind. He's going to overtake you. And then he can ride hard for the first time in the race. He beat the shit out of those tires, but by the time they get fucked up, the race is going to be over before that happens. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:39:49 But thank you for that. That is fascinating because everybody goes, you watch race. It's just a bunch of people driving around, drive around the track, driving around a circle. Stock car racing. The only thing you need to know, go turn left. Yeah, that's all you need to know. Band Nazi symbolism. I'm enrolled in one of the best schools.
Starting point is 01:40:08 I love how people are too dumb to understand racing and then they sit there and they shit on it. I'm enrolled in one of the best law schools in Germany. Over here, displaying Nazi symbolism is punishable with up to five years in prison. In the context of the whole legal system, it's quite an unusual article of the law. This is amazing, because you're a lawyer in Germany. Usually, the political background of an opinion is irrelevant to the criminal repercussions. To avoid discrimination, usually objective factors are used instead of political ones. It was discussed whether banning and punishing Nazi sympathetic displays is constitutional.
Starting point is 01:40:47 It is an infringement on the freedom of speech. Yes, it is. and it also let you know who the Nazis are. The one argument that won in court was the historic significance in Germany. The Constitution was, by the way, I'm loving all these letters from around the world. This is fucking incredible. If I could just get some women to write in. I know I'm off-putting, ladies, but, you know, that kind of gives you an opportunity to put me in my place,
Starting point is 01:41:14 which is one of my favorite things. You hear when my wife's on here, she shits all over me. I love it. Giggling, like a schoolgirl. The Constitution was put into place. place in 1949, while most cities still look like downtown Baghdad, circa 2004, and when the ovens of Auschwitz had just cooled down, Jesus. The content of the Constitution is an answer to all the shit that went down between
Starting point is 01:41:39 1933 and 1945. Yeah. Because most of those lunatics died or were put to death. And then some more rational people were like, hey, yeah. Let's try to prevent that happening again. Hey, look at the city. This is amazing. You can see all the way to the other city because there's no cities left.
Starting point is 01:42:02 Anyways. So the Constitution is the answer to that's really, you don't see a lot about Germany other than 1933 to 1945 or they'll show shit about, you know, World War I. But they don't show about the steps that they took afterwards to ensure that this wasn't going to happen. again. I'm sure there's a nice book on it that I could sit down and read if I wasn't such a moron. Anyways, denying support of that regime is part of the Constitution's inherent character. I agree with that. The problem, it doesn't change anything. It's symbolism. We can now point at our laws and tell other countries see we learned. And what do the neo-Nazis do? They use
Starting point is 01:42:45 fucking code, which is not forbidden, such as 88. I guess that means Heil Hitler. or HKN KRZ shirts, which in German is recognized, is saying Hakenkruits, which equals swastika. I swear to God, those fuckers parody the run DMC logo with HKN space KRZ shirts. I had no idea. Wow. Thanks for the podcast. They keep me laughing during exams, looking forward to your German-European tour, you freckled cunt. You know, that's got to be the most fascinating shit I've heard about Germany since, you know, the same shit that they show a zillion times on the history channel.
Starting point is 01:43:33 I mean, obviously, you got to show that. So, you know, hopefully that never happens again. But they should probably shine a light on this to know that that is going down. I don't know. It's hard, man. I really look like the Nazis. They're kind of like a fucking, I think I used to do a bit on this. They're kind of like a band that had a bunch of hits like fucking 40 years ago.
Starting point is 01:43:54 And now they're coming back and it's just, you know, there's no original members. They don't have the magic anymore. It's just, it's over. It's over. It's a, you know, it's like a, you know, some bands, it's just their name becomes toxic after a while. You know? Although sometimes they're so bad that they come back and people love them again. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:44:18 It's probably a bad analogy. But that's pretty frightening that that shit's going down. That people still like, you know, I don't know. I've never really been to a Holocaust museum. It's just I just don't think I could handle it. You know, knowing that people are capable of that level of fucking evil. Just literally separating, you know, that shit in slavery, the shit at the border. To separate parents from their children to sit there and fucking do that.
Starting point is 01:44:51 I don't give anybody a pass. Even the fucking kid down there, like, this is my job. Quit your fucking job. I'm not fucking doing this. Like, when is that kid screaming, crying voice going to leave your fucking head for the rest of your life? Oh, my God. Especially not having a kid and knowing how much they need. Like, my daughter just came in.
Starting point is 01:45:13 She was like, whining and all that. For whatever reason, she wanted to hug me. You know? I don't know why, but they need, just to take that. that away from a kid. It's just, it's fucking, you know, over some, I don't know. There's got, you know, there's got to be another way. Right. Anyways, you sent my brother to the hospital. What the fuck are you talking about? Can I legally read this without getting, all right. Hey, Billy Brokiller. My brother and I went to your show early, your early show in
Starting point is 01:45:47 Minneapolis a couple weeks ago. And as we were leaving, he was complaining about his back and shoulder hurting. Being the douche am, I assumed he was whining about the uncomfortable seat. So over the next few days, he started coughing and hearing a rattle in his chest. Yeah, okay, well, go to the doctor. He went to the dock, and as a precaution, it turns out at some point during your set, his right lung made like the Falcons in Super Bowl 51 collapsed. Well, that's not from laughing. That was like, you know, you went there. Yeah, it's probably everything he did up into that point. He spent, I would love to take credit. for any joke being funny enough to make somebody's lung collapse.
Starting point is 01:46:27 But I think you're, yeah, you're looking at the ass end of the problem there, buddy. He spent the next six days in the hospital and had to get a tube stuck through his rib cage like Carl Weather's death scene in Predator. Then they hooked that shit up to a dustbuster, sucked out the air that was outside of his lung, and sewed the hole shut. That's fascinating. He finally got out of the hospital and is doing fine, but I just thought you'd appreciate knowing you're at the level where your comedy caused someone's organ to explode
Starting point is 01:47:00 like the goddamn death star. Keep this up and you'll be well on your way to fixing the overpopulation problem. Anyways, can't wait for you to come back to Minnesota so you can finish the job and get his left lung. Hope all is well with the family. Thanks. I'm glad you guys came out and I'm glad your brother's doing all right.
Starting point is 01:47:19 All right. I think that's the podcast here. for this week. All right. I think there was a Formula One race today. I'm taping this Sunday night. I got to sit down and watch that, but I got so much shit to do.
Starting point is 01:47:37 Is that it? Do I have anything? Oh yeah, this weekend I'm going to be with Nate Craig in Houston. All right. Houston, Texas, in July. There's a bald red-headed male. And then I'm going to be in Dallas. I don't know how many shows I'm fucking.
Starting point is 01:47:53 can do it yeah. Let me check it out here. All right. So here's the deal. Thursday, I got a show at Revention Music Center in Texas. Friday, I have a show at Revention Music Center in Houston, Texas. There's still tickets to Thursday. Friday sold out. And then I got two shows in the pavilion up in Dallas at the Toyota Music Factory.
Starting point is 01:48:22 Also, I added a show right before the Rough and Rowdy in Rochester, New York, right outside of Buffalo, which I haven't been to in a zillion years. Rochester, former home of the Rochester Royals, that then became the Cincinnati Royals, then the Kansas City slash Omaha Kings, then the Kansas City Kings, and then the Sacramento Kings. Hey, Bill, why were they Kansas City and Omaha Kings? Well, because they used to split their home kings.
Starting point is 01:48:52 games between both those cities, seeing which town gave a fuck more. Kansas City didn't have any college football. Omaha did. Well, I guess it's Lincoln, Nebraska, right? Where is University of Nebraska? I only went to a fucking game out there. I always forget where it's that. Then they became the Sacramento Kings.
Starting point is 01:49:10 I'm into that shit. I'm into past history. You want to hear a couple of cool ones? All right? Here's a good one. Kansas City Scouts, NHL team. moved to Colorado, became the Colorado Rockies, and then moved to New Jersey and became the New Jersey Devils.
Starting point is 01:49:28 Okay? I can't do all your homework for you, but I can do some of it. All right, the original Washington senators, 1901 to 1960, they left and became the Minnesota twins. And then the senators came back briefly in Washington, almost like they retained the name like the Cleveland Browns. and there was a second incarnation of the fucking Washington senators. And they also failed.
Starting point is 01:49:56 And then they moved to Texas and became the Texas Rangers. All right. You want to hear some more? What else do I got? All right, the New York Yankees. Who were they originally? The Baltimore Orioles, 1901 to 1902. Then they became the New York Highlanders, 1903 to 1912.
Starting point is 01:50:18 then they became the New York Yankees 1913 to present. Now, the Baltimore Orioles, I knew they were the old St. Louis Browns, but I didn't realize they were the first, they were the Milwaukee Brewers in 1901. Then they were the St. Louis Browns, 1902 to 1953. And from 1954 till now, they became the Orioles. All right, that's it. Okay, I don't want to talk to you guys anymore about this. What, the Oakland A's?
Starting point is 01:50:46 Is that what you were asking about? Well, they were the Philadelphia Athletics, so 1901 to 1954, then the Kansas City Athletics to 1955 to 1967. And then they became the Oakland A's, 1968 to 1986, and then the Oakland Athletics, 1987 to present. I don't know what that means. As far as I'm concerned, they've been the Oakland A's or the athletics since 68, but that's what this fucking thing said to me. You know, I learned about all of this shit. A lot of teams have passed through Kansas City, started there, or gone through there. and then they just fucking, you know, Kansas City Scouts, Kansas City Kings, Kansas City Athletics.
Starting point is 01:51:28 We've had a lot of people come and go, you know, and there's only one solution that I can think of. There's a lot of cunts in Kansas City. All right, go fuck yourselves. I'll talk to you on Thursday.

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