Monday Morning Podcast - Man About Town, Strip Clubs, Wallet Protests | Monday Morning Podcast 4-7-25

Episode Date: April 7, 2025

Bill rambles about being a man about town, strip clubs, and wallet protests. Fast Growing Trees:  Get 15% off over 6,000 plants to fit any space, from indoor plants to fruit trees to full-sized privacy trees and more with the code BURR at checkout at https://www.fast-growing-trees.com/  SimpliSafe:  Visit www.SimpliSafe.com/Burr to claim 50% off a new system with a professional monitoring plan and get your first month free. Helix:  Go to www.HelixSleep.com/BURR for their Spring Savings Event and get20% off sitewide.

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burrows, time for the Monday Morning Podcast for Monday, April 7th, 2025. What's going on? How are ya? How's it going? April 7th, Jesus Christ, did March Madness already come and go I know they did the championship game happen is it gonna rain today oh fucking Billy Oldman has no idea what's going on my fucking cable went out and you know they got a number and they got a website and I'm old I'm like I'm not fucking doing that I'm not doing I'm not fucking gonna get on the phone you know what do they have like three people answering the phone now because they just want you three people answering the phone now because they just want you to go to the website so they can fire those fucking people?

And then I have to go onto the fucking website and talk to a fucking robot, you know, so I can watch, you know, an episode of Kojak. I just, forget it. Forget it. I'm one of those people. I just, is there a line to this thing that I want? Forget it. I don't want to go anymore.

I'm not doing that. I don't know what I'm going to go do now. It's probably just as big a waste of time. But at least I'm not standing in a line for it. Anyway, old Billy Broadway. I went out and I saw an amazing play today. Because I'm off on Sunday. That's a cool thing. Everybody else is like Tuesday through Sunday, but we're Monday through say, as they used to say back in Boston, say.

Come by Tuesday through fucking say. We'll figure it out, do. Um, I saw a good night and Good Luck that stars George Clooney and a friend of mine Alana Glazer who's in it. Character's name is Shirley and oh my god it was first of all the fucking set was insane. I was just looking at the amount of people that are in the cast, the amount of movement with the set and everything. I was, I was talking to one of the actors afterward and I was like,

how long did it take? And they were like, we were doing 14 hour days every day in March. And uh, oh my God. And it was seamless. I didn't notice anybody drop a line. It was amazing It's the story of Edward R. Murrow When he was going up against that senator there during the Red Scare I always remember Edward R. Murrow and I always forget the fucking guy's name Joe McCarthy

Was accusing everybody of being a communist. I don't know what he was doing. Just a fucking weirdo. But anyways, it's the whole story of that and how Edward R. Murrow was instrumental in bringing this guy down as he was out there ruining people's lives. This is fat, ugly guy from Wisconsin just decided he was

gonna conduct an independent investigation like Jim Ursay and just start accusing people of shit and I don't know anyway but like I don't want to ruin it if you're gonna go see it but like they had a live band there the saxophone player and the singer was fucking incredible Was fucking incredible. It was an absolutely gorgeous production and everybody Everybody killed it and if you get a chance definitely go Definitely go check it out. I've been old Billy about town. I am a man about town. I Did my show Saturday night and one of the cast members said,

"'Hey man, I got an extra ticket. "'You wanna come up to SNL, watch Jack Black?' I'm like, absolutely, I do. I got to sit in the crowd, watch him absolutely kill it. And then the musical guest was Elton John with Brandy Carlile, who is just an absolute 10 out of 10 rock star. Looks cool, sings like you never heard and plays guitar, just everything.

Total package. And Chad Smith was on drums and he was murdering it and and then the sketches were great. My personal favorite was they did a sketch about the first time there was ever a play and the people in the crowd didn't understand what was happening that it was pretend. So they were reacting to everything and yelling out and it was also sort of like the first hecklers or whatever. So just as a standup comedian, watching that sketch, I was sitting there like, I've been in front of this crowd

where like, oh my God, you'd just be on stage and be like, you know, I was walking down the street and I went into this store and then there'd just be someone up front where like only you could hear them and the people immediately around them but no one else in the crowd. And they'd be like, why'd you do that? You have to ignore it and you keep fucking going and then finally you fucking snap on

them. And 90% of the crowd was like, why did he just yell at that person? Everyone was just sitting here listening. Is he having like a, you know, a a shit fit like what's going on here so anyway I went to go see that and Jack Black is just of these just a tour de force like the energy that that guy brings and was awesome he came running up into the crowd which reminded me of Sam Kinnison's first time he did Letterman that that guy brings and it was awesome. He came running up into the crowd, which reminded me of Sam Kinnison's first time

he did Letterman where he just ran up there. He ran up into the crowd and went by a bunch of people. He went by in my row and everything. It was just, it was so frigging cool. And what else was awesome on that? God damn it, this stupid phone. Oh, also, yeah, the weekend update. Marcello Hernandez crushed it, and then Ago did this just amazing impression of a bad comedian. And I was talking to my buddy, I was there with going,

like, she just, like, killed doing, like, on purpose bad standup, making fun of bad standup. It's like, and it was written, like, perfectly, to the point, you're like, I've seen this act. I've had to go on after this act Just you know if you missed it, it's just one of those things where you just Like what I don't know I can't do it like there's no way I could have written it, but she absolutely murdered And then the weekend update

You know all the jokes that they were doing were all fucking great. And what was cool was just watching all of it and just being like, this is great. This is still like human beings doing all of this. And they're all working together and seeing all the cameras going around. And, you know, creativity, human creativity, being alive, entertaining people. It was fucking awesome.

And then I was just thinking, uh, you know, that these, like, these nerds out there, like the Tesla guy and that fucking jerk off who put the plastic on the apples, Bill Gates, but is somehow still considered a philanthropist. They're just deciding that these fucking robots are coming and it's just like, why? Because you don't want to pay anybody? I don't know. Just know this, they keep going, you know, with AI technology, they're acting like all of that's your friend. It's not your friend, it's not for you. It isn't for you. It's for them. Yeah, they're gonna make human beings like DVDs.

Look at me like DVDs, and the next technology comes along, and then that's just gonna be it. And they're gonna be sitting there, you know, I like you, I'd give you a job, but at the end of the day, you're human, and you need to sleep. And I could just hire this robot, and you know,

and it'll work like fucking 24 hours and blow me. And I don't have to have a case, you know? The cops aren't showing up, it's my robot. Yeah, it's fucking wild. I'll tell you what, I don't watch the news, but it's hard to avoid with all this terror stuff going on. This is going to be fucking wild. Like Trump is literally gonna bring Democrats and Republicans together, simply because all of those fucking Washington politicians, all they give a fuck about is their insider trading on the stock market and

the tariffs are tanking the stock market. So both Republicans and Democrats are fucking losing their ass like everybody else, he might actually bring them together. Hey, I'll tell you, it's been a heck of a fucking two months. Jesus fucking Christ. Jesus fucking Christ. Maybe the Nazi can figure it out. Maybe he can fucking, you know.

Oh, what a time. What a time to be alive there. Anyway, I watched that next MotoGP. I watched the one from Austin, and Mark Marquez crashed. Got a little too aggressive on lap 12 and then Alex ended up going on to win Peco came in second and now all of a sudden because Alex has been I think second place I think him and Mark have been first and second place in every sprint every race so by mark not

finishing the race And Alex winning the race He's now the points leader Alex is by a couple of couple of points or whatever, but it just looks like I Mean I don't think anybody's going to catch Mark all year. I don't know what these guys need to do. But like, it's a game set match him on the factory Ducati. And as they always say, like how he can just break so late, and how one he is with the motorcycle. I mean, these guys can't they can't even keep up with them.

It's like they go around the track six, seven times and he has like a fucking three second lead. And he's just cruising around. It's exciting to see him back, but somebody's gotta be the David Sioso. Like when I first started watching the races, like hopefully Alex can do it. They can have like a little back and forth.

I know Peco tried something in one of the sprints where he got super aggressive and just sort of took off and tried to establish himself in the beginning, which he did, but it only lasted for half a lap. And then Mark was back in the front again. But I guess that that's the excitement for the rest of the season is going to be watching these other teams trying to solve the Mark Marquez problem. That's going to be a hell of a hell of a fucking job to try to pull that off.

job to try to pull that off. Anyway, here's a fucking story for you, right? How New York City makes you like mutter to yourself. I can't believe I said this, but like I was coming out of a coffee shop and there was this woman on her way in. So I opened the door and I stopped to let her in. And then she was telling me to go. And I'm like, no, you go. And she's telling me to go. And it's like, I'm the fucking man.

Men hold the door for ladies, right? So finally she gives in and she goes. And she said, thanks. And I said, you're welcome. And then I walked away and I muttered, you're not gonna out gentleman me. And then I said away and I muttered, you're not gonna out-gentleman me. And then I said, after you bitch. I just, I don't, she just kept fucking telling me to go.

And it was just driving me up the fuck. Maybe that's how women feel, that they feel that way. I thought like holding the door for women was nice. Maybe I'm behind the curb? Am I fucking, uh... Is being a gentleman now fucking toxic? Am I trying to...am I suggesting that she can't hold a fucking door? Or am I really mad about something else and it just...I got upset about that.

But I'll tell you, it legit upset me. How long I had to fucking stand there. You know the rules! I'm the guide, come on in. Fucking hell. Fucking waiting for me like I'm wearing a dress. Oh man, I'll tell you. I'll tell you, trying to be a gentleman out there, I tell you, it ain't easy, it ain't easy.

So, anyway. So anyway, there was that. But on a positive side, I feel like we had one of our best shows twice this week. I forget what day the first one was, but the second show Saturday night was fucking amazing. It was fucking amazing. I don't know, it's been getting like, I'm getting really comfortable with what I'm saying up there. It's funny, like I've been trying new things and I find when I try new things and I change the cadence, I can lose my place a little bit, but you know, Michael McKeon's always there to get me back on track I'm gonna tell you the funny stories

About how Michael has got me back on track after this fucking thing is over so at some point Cuz he is just a gem like What I say I always joke like the monologue that I do, not monologue, my bullshit that I'm saying. It's like you do two donuts in the parking lot before you leave, and in those two donuts, if you're not fucking paying attention, if your mind drips, you forget where the fuck you are.

And that's happened to me. We've done the show 32 times, it's happened to me twice. And it's fucking hilarious. And we always somehow get out of it. But Michael just knows how to like, it's like he's, he's like the dad teaching me how to ride a bike, you know, and he's just starting to let go and I'm starting to tip over, gets me back up again. So but it's, it's so it's, I can't even tell, it's fucking thrilling when, as

much as I don't want it to happen, it's like, you're just sort of flying by the seat of your pants trying to get back to it. It's fucking exhilarating. It's like a rush. This this like, what have I done to this scene how the fuck do we get this back on course really well so I ran into somebody last night who had sang in I think Chicago and she was telling me story that she was up there singing this song that she had sung through the whole fucking run of the play and she had it

down and I don't know she just goes I just came for the next verse and I just blanked and so she started singing like she said it sounded like she was singing in a different language and then she tried to like go be like Michael Winslow and like make like sounds like her mic was cutting in and out and all of that and she was so embarrassed and what was funny was nobody noticed because I think there was other people singing. But I have to tell you something, losing your fucking place in the middle of a Broadway play

is as fucking hilarious as bombing as a comedian. There's just something fucking, it's fucking hilarious. And the other actors are backstage fucking laughing. It's just, it's fucking hilarious. And the other actors are backstage fucking laughing. It's just, it's so much fun. It's so much fucking fun. I can't, I cannot, I can't overstate how much fun it is. And then the nights, you know,

then the rest of the nights have all gone great. And it's not getting old, man. I'm just enjoying it because the people I'm working with are just trying new stuff and there's new laughs and everybody's excited like oh what was that what did he do you know is that gonna become part of it now or is that just was that just a one-off it's really fucking cool Today is Sunday when I'm I'm recording this and You know, this is my day off so I you know, this is me not doing shit I still fucking you know, I Still record a podcast but

Anyway I went to that play. I didn't do shit today Had two cups of coffee, which I usually don't do. I'm usually the one cup of coffee. But I stayed up late last night. I didn't get a lot of sleep. I forgot to close the fucking curtains, so I woke up with the sun. And I just had a cup of coffee, and I went over to my big gay gym with all the fellas, and they're all fucking shredded, you know?

So I go over there and they're motivating me to try and keep up and I've just decided, I'm fucking going over there every goddamn day, even when I don't want to. Went over there today, legs and eggs, legs and eggs. Remember that? The Foxy Lady, anybody from Providence, Rhode Island? You remember those commercials when they would whisper

on the radio, like if you were sitting next to your girlfriend or your wife, she couldn't hear it? It's like, hey guys, come on down to the Foxy Lady for breakfast, for legs and eggs, legs and eggs breakfast on Thursday. Who the fuck wants to eat runny eggs while looking at some fucking dancer's clam? I mean, I just, you don't combine those things.

You do not have food at a titty bar. Maybe a titty bar, but if they're going full nude, alright, if they're going full fucking nude, like you can't, you just, you can't eat there. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I've ever come. There's no fucking way. I have been in way back in the day. I don't think I have been in a fucking Titty bar in 20 years. Oh my God. This is crazy. You know, one of the last ones I went in, I was in Dallas. This is how long ago this was in 2004. I was on the road with, uh, Dallas, this is how long ago, this was in 2004. I was on the road with Charlie Murphy, Rest Your Soul,

and Darnell Rollings, we were doing this repel show, Rich Bitch Tour, and we went to Dallas, and Vinny Paul came out. He was just, oh yeah, he had just started Damage Plan. I'm not gonna get into that. All the sadness of that, but it was before all that horrible tragedy happened, so I met him. He came up to me, it was funny. He was looking at me like, do you know who I am?

It's like, who the fuck doesn't know who this guy is? I mean, nobody looks like him. Nobody played like him. Nobody played like him. I just loved his feel his groove just incredible. He's like, Hey, man, you know, I'm selling like DVDs. And like he was looking like, Hey, man, like Vinnie Paul, I'm like, dude, I know who the fuck you are. I have you on the cover of Modern Drummer magazine. I know who you are.

I can't believe I'm meeting you. You're an incredible... And we just hit it off. And he's like, you know, I got a club if you guys want to come out. All right, so we come out. And he owned a strip club. And I went to this titty bar and I sat down, I swear to God, rest his soul, with one of the greatest drummers of an entire era, Vinnie Paul.

And we sat in that titty bar and talked about Alex Van Halen. And Vinnie brought him up. Because I said to him, I go, all right most underrated drummer of our generation he goes maybe I didn't say underrated I said favorite and he was naming his favorites and he goes he goes oh and also Alex Van Halen I go to the originality of Alex Van Halen's drum parts, you know, are just so unique, so next level, the sound of his snare, he had his own voice, he just, um, like you know one of the coolest fucking things ever is when you listen to that song Jump, and as it's fading out, Alex plays like this little lick on the double bass as he's going out.

Forget about that mind twister during that part where David's going, can't you see me standing there, I got my back against the record machine. That fucking linear syncopated fucking do I lead with my right or left hand thing that he was doing. The end of the song he does this double bass thing that almost sounds like Stuart Copeland's snare thing that Phil that he does on every little thing she does is magic. He was doing something like that with his feet on the way out. I never like, I had to like try and write it out to figure out what he was doing. And he just threw that in on like a pop song. Like as they were like riding out.

And it's just like, he just did that off the top of his head. It feels that way when you listen to it. So anyway, I was in this titty bar in Dallas, just talking to Vinnie Paul, just talking. I was talking drums and he was talking comedy. He was asking me about comedians and I was asking him about drummers. And at no point did either one of us eat any food. I don't remember if he served food in that place, but I think that was one of the last times. Yeah, that was one of the last times I ever I went to one of those things. How the fuck did I get on the subject of that? I don't even remember. But anyway, plowing ahead here. Yeah, so I've been going to the

gym. Let's get back onto that. I've been going to the gym. And I've been doing the protein and everything. And then I've also been doing the cardio on the days where I'm not doing legs. Or, uh, or what you call it the upper body or whatever. I'll tell you right now, gay guys do not skip legs. They do not skip leg day. Jesus Christ. skip legs. They do not skip leg day. Jesus Christ. Fucking wall the wall dudes in the fucking leg room all day long. All fucking day long. Every gym, like wherever the benches are, and you know, curling and all that, there's always a bunch of fucking guys standing there. But these fucking dudes, they get in, they get in the fucking leg day. It's actually really frustrating because I go there and it's just like,

oh my God, every fucking machine is taken. And you know what's the worst now? Is now that there's the fucking iPhone, you know those people who do a set and then they sit there like drooling out of their mouth, staring at their phone, thinking they're taking a minute, 90 second break. And it's like, bro,

you were just looking at your phone for like six minutes. There was this fucking guy, leg day, and he was on the, that one where you sit down, it's for the back of your legs, right? The sitting down one, right? He was on that one. So I was on the other one that's for the back of your legs. The sitting down one. He was on that one, so I was on the other one that was for the front of the legs.

I sat down next to him, I'm thinking like, all right, he's already been here, so he's probably gonna do three sets, so right as I'm wrapping up with mine, I can transition over, I can fucking do that, and I'm fine. I did three sets on mine, he's staring at his fucking phone. I go over, I do the leg press,

he's still on the fucking thing. Then I go over, I do the leg press. He's still on the fucking thing. Then I went over, I did another machine and he was still on the machine because he was staring at his phone so fucking long in between sets. You just want to be like, dude, you're not fucking working out. I mean, I guess you are, but you're also on your phone.

I don't know, but you're also on your phone. Um... I don't know. So whatever. I did legs today, and I'm on this machine, and this guy came over to me. He goes, he goes, how many more sets do you have? I said, I got one. I'll be out of here in a second. So I knocked out the set, and then I'm going over to wipe the machine off. My stuff is laying on the floor next to it. This fucking asshole's getting on the leg machine.

And I just look at it, I go, can I get my stuff? Oh yeah, yeah, sorry, sorry. None of this shit really bothers me. I just miss my family. And their spring break is coming up. So, I gotta see them soon. Because that's the only thing, I'm going out of my mind with that. Like I FaceTime with them all the time and everything, but I, it just doesn't replace hugging them. So, uh, I gotta have that happen.

Fucking getting upset with people that are saying, no, no, after you at a, at a goddamn. Cafe, coffee bar, whatever the fuck you call it. Um, all right, let's do some Reads here for the week. Oh, Billy Reads, oh, Billy Reads, where the hell are they? Where are they? Scrolling, scrolling, scrolling. Oh my God, Fast Growing Trees?

I thought that that was somebody writing in. That's why I went by it. All right, did you know? Fast Growing Trees is the biggest online nursery in the u.s With thousands of different plants and over two million happy customers They have all the plants your yard needs like fruit trees privacy trees The bouncers of trees floweringing trees, shrubs, and so much more.

Whatever plants you're interested in, fast growing trees has covered, has you covered, find the perfect fit for your climate and space. Do you sell those trees where you can dress up as a tree and scare people when they go down the street? Can I do that? Order online and get your plants delivered directly to your door in just a few days without ever leaving your home. Their alive and thrive guarantee ensures your plants arrive happy and healthy. Plus, ah, fuck, sorry. I just hit the scroll thing and it fucking, all right. Plus get support from

trained plant experts on call to help you plan your landscape. Choose the right plants and learn how to care for them. Big yard, small yard, no yard. We've got over 6,000 plants to fit any space from indoor plants to fruit trees to full-size privacy trees and more. Their 14-point quality checklist ensures you're getting the best quality plants possible. Each plant is cared for individually based on their needs from watering routines to the amount of sunlight giving your plants the care they deserve from the time they start growing to when they ship to your home. You don't have to drive around to nurseries and big garden centers and choose plants from a limited assortment. This spring

they have the best deals for your yard up to half off on select plants and other deals and listeners to our show get 15% off their purchase when using the code burr at checkout. That's an additional 15% off at fastgrowingtrees.com using the code Burr at checkout. Now's the perfect time to plant, use Burr, B-U-R-R to save fucking time. God damn it, this stupid phone. You go to scroll and it goes up to, I'm missing my family. It's not the phone.

Okay. Sorry phone, I'm not mad at you. Now the perfect time to plant, use Burr to save today, offer is valid for a limited time. Terms and conditions may apply. All right, I got through it. Okay, look who it is everybody, Simply Safe. Do you wanna keep an eye on the privacy shrubs

you just ordered? We have all routines that bring us calm in a chaotic, often scary world. For me, it's arming my Simply Save Home security system. Traditional security systems only take action after someone has already broken in. That's too late. Simply Save's active guard outdoor protection

can help prevent break-ins before they happen. AI powered cameras backed by live professional monitoring agents monitoring your property and detect suspicious activity. If someone's lurking around or acting suspiciously these agents see and talk to them in real time. Activate spotlights and even contact the police all before they have the chance to get inside your home. No long-term contracts or cancellation fees. Monitoring plans start affordably at around a dollar a day. 60-day satisfaction guarantee or your money back. Visit simplysafe.com slash burr to claim 50% off a new system with a professional

monitoring plan and get your first month for free. That's S-I-M-P-L-I-S-A-F-E.com slash burr. There's no safe, like simply safe. All right, how many more of these? I think this is the last one. All right, here we go, here we go, here we go. Helix, everybody, Helix. Everyone I know with the Helix mattress loves it. I've been advertising Helix for several years

because my listeners have been purchasing and enjoying their mattresses since we started. Take their test and find the right mattress for you. Whether you run hot, cold, sleep on your side or stomach or back, Helix will match you with the right mattress, match you with the right mattress for you. Go to helixsleep.com slash burr for their spring event

and get 20% off statewide. That's helixsleep.com slash burr for their spring savings event and get 20% off statewide. Oh, I thought this was part of the, that's the end of the advertising. I've almost read the title of the first question that we have here.

Whorehouse in Major League Ballpark. What? They have a brothel? All right, before we get into this, if I had to guess which baseball team would have a fucking whorehouse, Um, I mean, you got to go Atlanta. That's a that's a big strip club. Miami. Tampa. Oh, I think is Tampa the winner? Wait a minute. Boy, I'm going around the league.

Arizona? I don't know. They're a little conservative. I'm going to go with Tampa. Long time, Billy Baseball, long time fan and listener. A few months ago, you joked how the Major League, how Major League Baseball might need to get creative with what amenities they offer at the ballpark to keep fans interested in attending games. You joke that maybe the ownership should consider having strip clubs in the stadium.

Well that might not be too far-fetched here in Kansas City as talks of building a new ballpark for the Royals are starting to get heated. Dude, they're not gonna put a titty bar as like an anchor store for a ballpark where they're already in gambling. Dude, did the mafia take over fucking baseball? What are they gonna do next? Having umpires unloading trucks down on the wharfs? Collected money from union guys? Before I get into it, I need to explain that people don't realize

the majority of our city is located in Missouri, where both the royals and chiefs currently reside. Yes. Yeah, there's Kansas City, Missouri and Kansas City, Kansas. That's important to this situation and leading to some hilarious stadium proposals as Missouri and Kansas officials compete to land the teams. One proposal, I gotta be honest with you, like Arrowhead Stadium and Kauffman Stadium,

I don't know if they still call it that, where the Royals play, they're both next to each other There's nothing else like that anymore As far as the era of when those things were built The Royals during the cookie cutter baseball stadium era the only other one left. I think is the Dodgers And then Arrowhead I mean that goes I believe that goes back to the end of Len Dawson's career like i think that thing has been around since 1970 or 71 possibly before a little after um but anyway one proposed location is in the heart of downtown Kansas City, Missouri but would require displacing many local businesses which obviously pissed off a lot of people.

In a desperation move to make this location work, city officials and the Royals are suggesting they'd offer space in the stadium for displaced businesses. One business is the totally nude strip club. I guess it would move into the stadium too? Obviously this shit isn't being completely thought through, but is hilarious. Just want to let you know that your joke might become a reality and wanted to hear your take on these millionaire cunts asking for taxpayer handouts to build their stadiums to profit even more millions using threats of leaving to get their way. Yeah, that whole fucking thing where it's like,

if this city doesn't pay for a, if the city doesn't pay for a new stadium, like how do owners get away with that? It's like, you guys are multi-fucking millionaires. Multi-millionaires, if not billionaires, whatever the fucking Royals are worth, right? Pay for your own fucking stadium Why do they mean like I remember Indianapolis now you guys all know I hate the fucking Colts

But I'm a man of the people the fact that the people in Indianapolis hadn't even paid off the RCA dome And then Lucas oilfield is already built. It's just it's unreal It goes back to the banks when they're like we're're too big to fail. It's like, no, you're not let them fail. Start over again. It's this toxic fucking relationship. I don't know how that started. That all of a sudden the city had to pay for it. But I have to be honest with you, it was such an easy sell because every meathead was excited to sit in a new sports meathead was excited to sit in a new stadium. Like, dude, that would be

great. We can have a fucking amazing stadium like the so and so is like whatever team you play where you were jealous of their venue. Um, yeah, 100% think that's bullshit. They should, they should pay for it themselves. All the money they're making. Near death pilot story. Oh no, I don't want to hear this. Hey Billy, bad Bonham bass. I'm Canadian and have a commercial pilots license and a multi-engine instrument rating. And I have a great story for you. Well, you're the real deal, dude.

When I finished my license, licenses, I was time building an additional 50 hours to get a multi crew rating Which is called an I a t r a That's so funny multi crew and then the acronym does not have an M or a C in it And I was doing a solo cross country in a Cessna 172 about 50 nautical miles west of my home airport at the time. Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, CYXE and your playbooks, I mean programs. I was doing a touch and go at this airport and was going to head east back towards Saskatoon. As I was in the climb out of the touch and go

I was around a thousand feet AGL heading east and I started feeling tingly. Oh my god and my vision was getting blurry. I sat up and thought maybe I just needed a little snack when I got it up to cruise. Next thing I knew, no my vision tunnels. Oh my god. Dude my palms are getting sweaty. And goes completely black Say out loud I can't fucking see right now. Holy shit. Remember that at this point I'm in full power climb and heading eastbound. Okay I don't know a lot about planes but if you can't see anything you can't look at your instruments you don't have it on autopilot so if you were to somehow you know what the wind changes and whatever input you had when you last could see changes you could end up in either a dive or a fucking too steep of a climb and stall it. Oh my God.

Oh my God. A couple seconds later, I woke up nose pointed West and almost straight down about 190 knots with full power still in. about 190 knots with full power still in. Fuck! Oh my God! Oh my God! And you were eastbound flying away, so now you're headed back towards the airport and somebody else could be taken off on the same runway.

Couple seconds later, I... Okay, uh, I will okay, I ripped the power out and tried to pull out as gently as possible. So I didn't rip the fucking wings off. You didn't say fucking I added that as I was well above the maneuvering speed of the aircraft. Oh my god, luckily, I pulled out and I was below the grain silos. Oh my god 40 to 50 feet above ground level and The training fully kicked in I made my radio call that I was making a left Downwind and coming in for a landing

climbed up To circuit altitude. I guess that's flight pattern altitude and came around to land. Oh, my God, how long did that feel? That was about as close to a mushroom experience as I have ever had without the mushrooms. Changed my life and I feel gratitude every day. Dude, how do you still have a license? What was the medical reason for it?

You have a commercial license, you're flying passengers and so there you go, Bill. That's my story. Would love to see you get into fixed a fixed wing and get a nice little plane. Check out a diamond da six two. That's always been my lottery plane. Yeah, I would love to get a fixed wing. I just, you know, my kids are little, I have to be there for them and I'm an old dad. And by the time they're out of the house and I would have the time to go for a license,

I just, I'll be too old to fly. You know, I'm not gonna be one of these guys that flies until he's 80. You know, the second I feel like I'm old, I'm gonna bow out, you know. I absolutely love it. And you know, a couple nights ago, one of the cast members, John, had a bunch of friends come down and there was this whole family of aviators that didn't just fly privately. They all would join the Air Force and learn how to fly and they were just telling me stories and stories and stories and I was telling them some helicopter stuff and we were like,

you know, it's always funny when a fixed wing talks to like a helicopter pilot and you know fixed wing guys get freaking freaked out when they hear about auto rotations what you have to do which I totally get because it's like if the engine quits in a plane you're still flying a helicopter the engine quits you have to, you're still flying. A helicopter, the engine quits, you have to do something really quickly so you're still descending, you know, in a way that, you know, the RPMs don't drop to a point where you can't recover them, basically.

But what always scares the shit out of me about a plane is how fast it goes when you're, it still has to be going when the wheels hit the ground. 50, 60 knots, and dude, you are in a fucking golf cart, and if you land in a field, all it takes is a rock or a stump, and you are cartwheeling in this fucking thing, and you might as well be in a 1940s jalopy.

Anything on the other side of the dashboard is coming right into your fucking chest. It's gonna be a shit show So what I do like about helicopters is With the autorotation is right at the end when you enter your flare you bleed off all that forward airspeed All of that airspeed that makes your brain slam into you the inside of your skull and fucking kill you Yeah, that's you know, aviation is it's not for the weak. Like stuff can happen. But anyway, so we were just

comparing notes about that. And I don't know, I always like talking to pilots because they just did. They're just like these dialed in. They're fucking dialed in. I remember like the few race car drivers I've met as the same thing. They're just like, they're just, they're talking to you and they're already like, their energy that they vibrate with, it's like they're fucking, you know, top of the food chain focus.

It's incredible. I'm not talking about a jerk off like me who just has a private pilot's license and flies for fun. I mean like professional pilots, race car drivers, motorcycle guys. It's really amazing to be around. Anyway, all right, next question. Okay, this says wallet protest.

And for some reason it's scrolled back up to whorehouse and baseball. Okay, wallet protest, wallet protest. All right, let's read. All right. So this person goes to right. And of course, it goes back up to whorehouse. And this iPhone really wants me to read that again. All right, wallet protests. Billy, the reason so many companies, companies conglomerates and politicians are able to get away with everything is because most people don't really give a fuck.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know what? I tip my cap to you. I think you hit the nail right on the head. And he said, and if you continue to go back to this rule, you can find peace knowing that that majority of people don't give a fuck. This is including the people who claim to give a fuck and shout about it

every day up to the point where many make it their personality. Yeah, I know, but they don't go to a protest. You know, you know, they're not all in like Luigi. The only people who protest matters. Only people whose protest matters isn't from the loudest assholes. It's the ones who vote. It's the one who votes with their time and money. Example. This says, fuck Jeff Bezos and Amazon for destroying middle class consumer businesses. Also, the same person. I just ordered something from Amazon. Oh, I see what you're saying. Oh yeah, it's okay. The only people who protest matters isn't from the loudest assholes. It's the one who votes with their time and money. So he's saying by patronizing Amazon that someone can say, hey man, fuck this Jeff Bezos and Amazon for

destroying middle class consumer businesses. Also the same person I just ordered some things from Amazon. That person who may include you it absolutely does. I apologize as a moron. Yes, you're right. I try to buy as much as I can from store. And at this point, like, I even think going to a fucking box store is better than doing business with these online guys like Amazon. But I will tell you though, the internet is so full of fucking lies.

Like I remember I wanted to, I was trying to find this store. I needed a tie. So I was trying to find this store. I needed a tie. So I was trying to find Prada and it showed me Prada on, on Fifth Avenue. So I go to the Prada store and it wasn't Prada. It was Saks Fifth Avenue that had a little section of Prada. So, you know, I'm trying to find like cell phone case stores or whatever. There's just a bunch of shit that just doesn't exist anymore. Sometimes when you even like try, there was something else my wife,

there was this fancy lotion that she wanted and she was coming to town and I was like, I'll get you some, I'll go, you know, you know, send me the picture, I'll go get you some. And I Googled where it was and it was right near my, where we were rehearsing for the play. And I was like, where to buy such and such, you know, facial cleanser or something.

And I ended up, yeah, where to buy it. And I ended up going to the address and it was the offices of that company and you couldn't buy anything there. And I Googled search where to buy it. So that's another thing. It is a pain in the ass, but I know what you're saying. Example, another example.

Climate change is going to destroy us. Also the same person. I fly around in planes and support every war sold to me by the energy and military conglomerates, which cause more harm in the environment than several generations of mouth breathers put together. Okay, I agree with all of this. I'm hoping you're going to give us a solution here. At this point, everyone showboating their concern is doing it for their own ego.

I also think for their guilt. Remember there was like that, that thing that liberals were doing, always talking about wanting to be on the right side of history? Remember they kept saying that and not being tone deaf and all that? And what they really would just do, just, yeah, prancing around. Prancing around like Freddie Mercury. Uh, they don't really care.

People who volunteer to feed others, donate their time to clean beaches and read actual books on subjects are the ones who care. I mean, guys, out of all the people that have ever written into this podcast, and he's criticizing a lot of shit that I do, this guy, this lady is 100% right. This person says, yeah, who subjects, read actual books on subjects are the ones who care, not the ones who are triggered by something on Instagram that supports their already present anger about someone or some topic.

Oh man, I mean that that was just oh, so wallet protests, you can protest with your wallet. I want to thank you for saying all that stuff. I learned something in that and I hope other people did too. Yeah, I try to as much as I can. I'm not a big chain guy. as far as going to stores. I like to try to go to the mom and pop places. But even then I think I kind of do that selfishly because I lose my mind. If every fucking town I went to, I went to the Steak and Shake or the Applebee's, I would

lose my mind. So I do try to patronize these businesses, but you know, it's for them, but it's also for me. It's always great when you go in because you can actually talk to a person and they're super nice, but I wallet protest. I like that. Thank you for that information. All right. Japanese bus protests done right. All right. Hey there, Billy red deflated. Kanikas Kanikas Spanish slang for balls That's great Billy red deflated Kanikas Spanish is a cool fucking language balls, what sounds better balls are Kanikas Kanikas Kanikas, It's gotta be canicas.

You know what's funny? Somebody who speaks Spanish could tell me to go up to a taco truck and order some canicas and I would. Um, you want a soft or a hard shell there? I recently saw a story online about a Japanese bus drivers union that decided to go on strike. You know what? Shout out to fucking Japan. Good for you guys. You know, the government's got all you guys. You put the government first, you know, then your family, then your landscaping, and then you. Something like that. Good for these guys. Busting out of that.

Um, I recently saw a line about a Japanese bus drivers union that decided to go on strike. But to their much deserved credit, they didn't stay home and thus fuck over the common man and lady. Alright, so how does that work? Here we go. Instead they drove the city buses, they picked up the city's passengers, and they dropped them off at their desired stops. So where's the protests you might ask? I did, I did ask! This guy's in my head, man! Well, they didn't collect any bus fares from the passengers.

They worked for the people and fucked over the bosses. Oh my God. That's fucking brilliant. Wow. Okay, so this is like in response to what I was saying. Those people were blocking the road and all you were doing is pissing off the common man. There you go. Okay, they got their point across and earn respect from the public. I think there's some solid lesson in there somewhere.

Yeah, there definitely is they had empathy, like they knew bosses have cars, they could get where they're going, all they're going to do is screw over their fellow countrymen. And then also they're going to lose favor. You know, they're gonna lose favor you know they're gonna you know there's these people like I said there's always people out there like there's something you know important they have to go to a job interview dialysis as something you can't fucking stop people from getting where they're trying to get to because you have no idea what they're going through that is

brilliant anyways it says keep up the good work and go fornicate with your trying to get to because you have no idea what they're going through. That is brilliant. Anyways, it says keep up the good work and go fornicate with your oversized ginger push. Damn, you got me coming and going. The top of the email and the fucking the outtake. Jesus Christ, give me a fucking two piece. A ginger fucking two piece. All right.

Would you guys still come out to my stand up shows if I got a toupee? I've been thinking about it, you know, OK. Do they even make two pays for redheads? They don't make Grecian formula for redheads. Disrupted protest. Hey, peaceful protest bill. Just wanted to jump in on the discussion regarding disruptive protests I don't think those protesters are trying to convince the drivers to be on their side I think they want to cause enough disruption to be covered by news outlets

So people who agree with them will read about it and decide to join the cause They're trying to convert people that already agree with them But haven't done... Listen, I'm all about trying to do something about global warming, as it was originally called. Jefferson Airplane, before they became Jefferson Starship. Climate change, whatever the fuck you call it. But like, I'm not sitting in the road and making some guy late for fucking work.

I'm not doing that, it's dangerous. It's a dangerous thing. Like I said, someone could be in labor. That's not the way to get your fucking point across. Being a douche, oh my God, how ironic. Me saying being a douche is not the way to get your point across. I literally just described my entire fucking act.

All right. I'm gonna go Philadelphia here and I'm gonna try to gain some knowledge from what you're saying, because this doesn't make sense to me, but this is a new meme. Gonna be a little open-minded here. The guy stuck in traffic trying to get kidney dialysis

has enough problems to worry about. I think most people stuck in traffic trying to get kidney dialysis has enough problems to worry about. I think most people stuck in traffic have got too many problems to worry about climate change. They just happen to be the unlucky victims on the day of the protest. Well, you're being pretty cavalier with this person's kidneys. What does that mean? He has enough problems to worry about? Yeah, like not dying? His four vegans? A fucking trailer of blocking the... hey, you know what?

But I'm gonna die. I gotta get to kidney dialysis. Hey buddy, I think you have enough to worry about if you don't mind. This is this protest isn't about you. Anyway, there was a protest at Shell headquarters in London two months ago. Here's a link shell protest. All right. The problem is nobody gives a shit shell executives are smart enough to know that fighting back will just give the protesters wider appeal. If protesters knew that their tactics were working, more people would join and they would put on more pressure by just cleaning up the mess and moving on. Shell knows people won't care and fewer people will read about it if they are kept just busy enough with just enough for their needs fulfilled.

They won't have the time or the energy to worry about next year's problem, let alone next generation's problem. All right, I agree with that. But I still don't understand blocking somebody trying to get to fucking dialysis. You mentioned that it would be stupid for you to be disruptive in order to get people to go to your shows. And I mostly agree with that. But I also started listening to your standup mostly because of your Philly rant.

Are you gonna call my Philly rant a protest? No, he says, which I would argue was kind of a disruptive protest to that show. Well, I would argue that you, uh, yeah, yeah, you fucking boiled that down and reshaped it into something. That wasn't, that was me doing standup comedy and taking on a crowd. That was not a disruptive protest. I was not protesting anything.

I was going back and forth, but I mean, you know, I'm with you with some of this stuff. I don't agree with that example. Just because you call me telling the crowd to go fuck themselves, just because you're going to brand that a disruptive protest. I mean, that reminds me of that time when you'd be on stage telling jokes and then afterwards someone would come up and be like, you know, some of the statements you made in your act statements, whoa, wait, I didn't make any statements, I was telling jokes.

I kind of feel like you're doing that. I might be wrong, I don't know. I do think it was funny and you were still trying to be entertaining in the moment. No, I wasn't. I wasn't. I had abandoned that and I was just trying to make them as angry as they were making me, but it wasn't a disruptive protest. It was me motherfucking them back Um, but I mean if you're gonna cast a wide net with the definition of that's a disruptive pro. All right, I mean

What else is a disruptive protest? Um, can I get a straw are you Disrupting and uh the the the waitress who thought she was done with your table? Was that a disruptive protest? Um, alright. But I would also guess that you were trying to fight back in your own way. Yeah, I was, but every fight back is not a protest. Like, if I get into a bar fight with a guy, is that a disruptive protest?

It's a fight. I don't know. I think, um, I'm feeling like you're trying to just win this debate. I'm not getting it. Like it's been a couple of paragraphs before there was some information here. I feel like what you're doing right now is you're trying to groove me into your definition of disruptive protest. I think a lot of people listen to you

and a lot of other comics in general because of the unexpected opinions you have about culture that might go against social norms, but still resonate with the listeners. Someone, no dude, people listen to me because I talk the way that they talk. These aren't unexpected opinions. You know, the people who didn't have empathy for that CEO with the Luigi thing

was not unexpected. That was totally predictable. The only people who thought it was unexpected was the cable news channels. They were the only ones scratching their heads. Everybody else was walking around like, well, you know, live by the sword, die by the sword. You're gonna fucking sit there and let somebody's grandma die. Eventually someone's gonna get upset enough that they don't give a fuck about their own freedom. I mean, how did you not see that coming?

There's a reason why those CEOs have that fucking security. It's not just because they're worth a lot of fucking money money They also know that they're doing a lot of fucked up shit Anyway, someone posts a clip of you or someone else with some clickbait titles saying some out-of-pocket opinion and You get more followers. Oh I do I Oh, I do. I get to someone who took my shit out of context and turned it into clickbait and they click on their page. I get more followers. I didn't do that. So then you're going to say that that's me being disruptive protesting. I think these protesters are just looking for their audience in the same way So me just going off and trying to sound like your buddy at the bar is the same as sitting in a fucking road to try To stop climate change. All right, buddy. You know what agree to disagree. I am fucking tapping out

I have no idea where the fuck that just went That was Phil in IKEA, that's what he was doing. He wasn't giving me new information. What he was doing was he was trying to win a debate that I was not trying to have. So I learned through that, that when someone's in that mode, you just walk away. And that's what I'm doing. Walking away. Whatever. Those are your opinions and I'm glad that you have them and thank you for taking the time to express them anyway That is the podcast Enjoy your week Go fuck yourselves. I think there's only like 30 tickets left to the Patrice O'Neill benefit. So it's obviously gonna sell out

May 18th to 12th sell out in a row from the bottom of my heart. Thank you so much for doing that sell out in a row. From the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for doing that. And I mean that from a sincere place, not from a disruptive protest space. All right, that's it. Oh my God, I almost said love you guys. What is going on with you?

I'm just becoming a fucking softie. Go fuck yourselves. I'll check in on you on Thursday.