Monday Morning Podcast - Mid-West Fans, Withdrawal Dreams, Youth Sports Corruption | Monday Morning Podcast 9-28-26

Episode Date: September 28, 2026

Bill rambles about mid-west sports fans, withdrawal dreams, and youth sports corruption. Truewerk: Get 15% off your first order at http://www.Truewerk.com/BURR with code BURR Quo: Try QUO for free PLUS get 20% off your first 6 months when you go to http://www.Quo.com/BURRSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Hire the right pro today. Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Byrne. It's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday, September 28th, 2020. Six, six, six. What's going on? How are you?

How's it going, man? How you doing? Yeah, that's awesome. Oh, fucking Billy Freckles. I cannot pick an NFL game to save my life. And it'd be one thing if it was the eush, like I wasn't watching. blaming the kids, we have protection issues, you know, just coming up. I am watching.

I'm home. I am watching the games. I am gathering information. And off of the things that I'm seeing, I'm making what I feel is an educated guess. And I cannot, I can't pick a fucking game. Just getting fucking destroyed. I had, who did I have? I had the goddamn Packers.

Atlanta Falcons, fucking deal. away the first two weeks, all of a sudden, you know, tour goes down. Then they bring in their backup fucking Steve DeBerg, whoever it is, he comes in. Their running backs running wild, fucking Packers. They go in, they, not only did they cover, they beat them. Then I took the fucking Cincinnati Bengals knowing the Steelers always playing difficult, but I just kept looking at Aaron Rogers' face every time he was going to the sidelines. He had this look on his face where it's just like, I don't need to look at the iPad.

I know what's going on. I understand football. You guys don't. That was his energy. And I'm like, well, you're not going to fucking cover a three and a half spread with that shit going on. You know, you ever see a couple and you know they're in a fight even though they're trying to act like they're cool? You can, you know, they're just got out of the car. They're exchanging pleasantries, but there's a hoarseness to their voice.

It's like, okay, yeah, things got elevated right through the final red light. and now they're just, they just, can we just speak going there and be adults? Yeah, I was getting those vibes. So I took Joe Burrow in the, uh, in the Bengals and, uh, Steelers won. That was over. Who else? Who else? You know, my, my day isn't over yet, but it feels like it is.

Who else did I pick this week? You guys can all laugh at me. I had the Packers. I had the bills. Did they cover? And then the Cardinals. I don't know. I've lost like six fucking.

games in a row. You know, I was watching the Patriots today. Oh, wait, wait. I watched a bunch of football. I watched college football yesterday. I watched, who did I see? I watched Michigan, Iowa. That shit show.

Once again, hey, you know, there's eight minutes left in the game. Why kick an extra point when you can go for a two-point conversion and not get it? Because the analytics say, like, what is the fucking analytics on? How many fucking times you're going to go for a two-point control? version, not get it and lose the game by one. You know, I mean, I guess, you know, Iowa threw one last second. They scored. If Michigan kicks the extra point and they tie it, then Iowa, if they make their extra point.

They would have been tied. But they didn't have to kick the extra point. I just don't fucking get it. Wake Forest game against Louisville. They go, yeah, the analytics. Let it go for the two, they kicked the extra point. Guess what happened? They won the fucking game.

I said it before and I'll say it again. It's a two-point conversion, you have to score another touchdown. You have to score back-to-back touchdowns. That's what a two-point conversion is. Everybody gets in the, oh, it's just two points. Like it's a little fucking whoop-ty-do. No, it's another touchdown. You have to score back-to-back touchdowns.

Good luck to you. Then I watched the Florida Gators bring Ole Miss down to Earth. I also watched What did I watch? Texas, Tennessee But then I had to go to a What the fuck did I have to go to? A kid birthday party?

What did we do yesterday? No, I went to my daughter's baseball game To start the day. Oh, that's why I can't remember the day. You know, they started early. She had the early game. And, oh my God, seeing her out there in the uniform, it just, it was amazing.

It was fucking amazing. and she got a great arm. She's great at fielding and all of that. And she was up there, you know, got a hit. You know, I'm trying to, you know, something that they never taught me Little League, you know, was your hips go first and the arms, your hands stay back. I never knew what the, I've heard that for years, hand stay back. I never knew what it was.

So I finally, you know, my back foot always came up like I was following through on a golf shot. And I would watch the major league guys saying that back leg stays down. So I've been working with her on that. But, I don't know, it was just, you know, I just see how happy she is. She loves wearing the uniform and it's just awesome. So I did that. So I missed a little bit of some of these games. And then on Sunday, I watched my Patriots as I always do.

And everybody's fucking jumping all over Drake May. It's three games in to a 17 game season. Last year, three games in, did anybody think the Patriots were going to the Super Bowl? Dude, I'm listening to these announcers talking about Drake May and his fucking confidence and it's all fucking shot. It's like, guys, we had issues with our offensive line last year. Okay? We didn't make any moves to fix that.

We had issues that he had nobody to throw to. We worked on that. And Troy Brown, our number one guy or whatever, whatever fuck his name is, he gets hurt. Our offensive line was getting blown up whether we were trying to run it or throw it. You can't get into a rhythm, and that fucks with you. Drake looked great, the first three playoff games, until we ran into Seattle, and they were just blowing through our fucking offensive line,

and he was still trying to get the early game yips out in the third quarter. That's not his fault. So don't listen to these guys. They're a bunch of ball-watching morons. All right, we have no running game. We have no passing game today. We got totally dominated on the offensive line. and then guess what happens?

You start getting threes and out, and then your defense starts getting tired, and everybody starts, oh, we don't have any fucking defense either. It's all fucking connected. The knee bones connected to the leg bone, right? It's all fucking connected. We got to have time.

Here's some brilliant football analysis. If you don't have time to throw the fucking ball, if your offensive line can't get some fucking holes for the running backs to run through, your defense is going to spend most of the game on the field and everybody's going to look terrible. So, you know, we had a lot of drama during the off-season. You know, we're trying to calm the seas out there.

So basically, my analysis on the New England Patriots so far is everybody fucking relax. The regular season goes until January. All right? Drake May's like, what? In his third fucking season, he's already gone to a season. he's already gone to a Super Bowl. I'm not throwing him out the window three games in

because some fucking man-titted cunt with a fucking smartphone wrote an article or is saying some shit, all right? We're still in September. You know what it is about fucking people that say shit like that? They're quitters. They quit.

And then they project that onto other people. They don't see like, hey, man, in order to be successful, you've got to fall down a bunch of times. Anybody can fall down, but can you get back up! That's what it is. Trevor Lawrence looked great. Beautiful man.

You know, best hair since Farah Fawcett. I'm jealous as hell, the bald bastard that I am. He had all the time in the world. All the time in the world. I'm not taking anything away. Their fucking offensive line and their defensive line we're way beyond what the fuck we had. And guess what?

All of a sudden, they're running backs can go through our defense. This is all basic shit. It's all basic shit. I did catch the end of the Jets first. The Lions. Congratulations to the Lions.

And congratulations to the Jets. They're playing competitive, exciting fucking football. And I don't know. I'm happy that Jets are fucking... I'm not one of these fucking hate-n-ass fucking people. You know what I mean? look, it comes down to it. Jets versus the Patriots, obviously I'm for the Patriots, but like,

I can't sit there and look at Jets fans looking like fucking basset hounds every fucking year. You know, at some point, let him up off the mat, give them something to cheer about. Speaking of that, Red Sox Yankees, October baseball, doesn't get any better than that for me. I'm very excited about that. And they were talking about how Yankee fans applauded. gave Peyton Tolly. Is that his name, Toley? Is that how you say his name?

I've been fucking buried this year. Peyton Toley, a big round of applause, you know? Just a lovable dude. And somebody in the comments wrote, yeah, that's Yankee fans. We're like elevated. Like they're higher than anybody else because they cheered for an opposing player out of respect

or because they liked them. It's just like, it's just such a typical New York point of view where they're just such poorly traveled people, even on the internet. All they do is suck their own dicks. It's like, I'm a Red Sox fan. I'm going to tell you something right now. We can learn some manners from St. Louis Cardinals fans. They don't boo their own players. They give people a chance. Like, Midwest fans are way more elevated. Okay. Like, what are we doing here? Philly fans, New York fans, Boston fans, Jersey fans. We're fucking. We're fucking. We're fucking. animals.

Bill's fans are a bunch of fucking animals. They're animals. We're animals. All right, let's not be patting ourselves on the back. All right. Fucking just relax. I mean, didn't somebody in the upper deck

of Yankee Stadium one time throw a knife down at somebody? Okay? You also did that. Jesus. That's back. when they were just burning the Bronx down for the insurance fucking money.

All those stupid landlords in a fucking panic attack. If they just fucking rode it out, they just rode it out. Who would have known? All the lightning that they had up there. Also, I went to my first WNBA game. I don't want to butcher this woman's last name,

but it was her last game. It was my wife's idea. I took my daughter there. my son, my whole family went out. We had such a fucking great time. Great vibes. Talk about great vibes. From the fan base, WNBA game, man.

It was fantastic. And I got to tell you something. I was watching the shoot-around, and they were as accurate. It looked like NBA shoot-around. During the game, it falls apart a little bit, but it's still, you know, they get the funding,

they start making some money, they fucking go to sleep, you know, holding on to the basketball because there's a million dollars at the end of the fucking rainbow. I mean, it's dribbling a basketball. It's shooting a basketball. This is not trying to like bench press 700 pounds.

Like, women are going to be able to handle the ball and shoot just as good as men if they put the fucking time in, which I think is going to happen the more and more they put money into the sport. But I will say this, watching the goddamn, when the game started, they weren't as accurate. But I was watching the shoot around, like they would take an NBA threes in like the same amount that were going in, it looked like before an NBA game.

My issue with the WNBA game is the first quarter it looked like an NBA game. Both teams came out. It was the L.A. Sparks versus the Golden State Valkyries. They both come out. They're fucking ice cold. Ice fucking cold. And what do they do?

They just keep launching three pointers. Launching three-pointers. It's like, what's wrong with the fucking 12-footer? Okay, the same way I go, people got to get their fucking heads around the math here. A two-point conversion, you have to score another touchdown. Now, let's talk about the three-pointer. A three-pointer is 23 feet, nine inches away from a fucking layup.

And it's only worth one more point. What the fuck are we doing? I swear to God, I watched that first quarter and I had the same fucking thought I had watching the NBA. It's like I feel like I could coach a team to a championship which is taking 10, 12 footers. First of all, they have that stupid three-second rule on the defensive player, too.

There's nobody underneath. It's the TSA fucking pre-check line. Just start driving the fucking lane. There's nobody there. There's nobody there. Lay up. Stop taking 23-3. feet nine inch fucking shots.

You can take a zero foot shot, a dunk. And all you get penalized is one less point. You let the fucking math team who can't even play the fucking game. Take all the beauty out of the game. No pick and rolls, no big men battling underneath. I swear to God, if I was commissioner of the NBA, I would get rid of the three-second rule on defense in the paint

and I would get rid of the three-point line. and I would say go back to playing fucking basketball. I don't want some, I don't want to watch some seven foot four person taking a fucking his 10 three-pointer of the quarter. All right. Sorry. You know, full disclosure,

I had my second fucking, I just drank a fucking cortado. A free one, too. That's how many times I go to this fucking shop. You know, it's like the old blockbuster. You know, you rent every James Bond by the time you get to Casino Royal. like, go ahead, just, yeah, here you go.

The way they're used to, a mom and pop plays. That's what I would do to improve the NBA game to actually bring back the beauty of the game, the physicality of the game, and you could actually see somebody dunk on somebody. Now what happens is they go in, occasionally somebody seems, I mean, I know sometimes they dunk on people,

but not nearly as much. they fucking come in and the person they're going to dunk on starts running out of frame because they don't want to end up on Instagram. That's my goddamn opinion. All right, and I'm sticking with it. All right, until you guys can hit a fucking 12-footer,

okay, can do some backdoor passing, a little fucking give and go, a fucking pick and roll, get a big guy fucking posting up in the middle, feeding the big man, battling the other big. Until you fucking do that again, you don't get your three-point line back.

That's it. All right? Or what I would do is I'd have the three-point line. Okay? The three-point line lights up the final two minutes of every quarter. That's it.

That's it. And other than that, you're just somebody taking a long two-point thing so we can actually get people down low. We can watch people play basketball instead of it looking like a fucking shoot around. It looks like a guarded shootaround. All right, Bill, you've said your things.

Okay, I've made my piece. I have no beef with college football. I don't care. They're paying the players, I don't give a fuck. You want to make these super conferences? Fine. The kids make it a million dollars. I don't give a shit that he has a fucking six-hour southwest flight.

They were never there for the education anyway. They were there to make the fucking school money. Anyway, I got the Chicago. theater everybody uh unfortunately i had to move the sunday show to wednesday because the premiere of uh the social reckoning in new york city was on sunday and i have to be there so i apologize to everybody we gave refunds to people who couldn't make it and um so there are some tickets still left for the wednesday show uh thursday friday is sold out and i think there's still a few left for the second show saturday i cannot fucking wait to get out there

This is literally, it's like, wait, I think Thursday I'm in Detroit. That's what it is. Thursday, I'm in Detroit doing a casino. Oh, that's what happened. I was supposed to fly to Detroit, go across into Canada, do the casino, then fly to Chicago, and I was doing Friday, Saturday, Sunday. So now it's become Wednesday in Chicago, Thursday, just into Canada, Friday, and Saturday in Chicago and then Sunday I'm in New York.

That's how it is. In October 17th, I'm in Mesa, Arizona, with Tom Segora and Rachel Feinstein, two of my favorite comedians out there, just total originals, headliners in their own right. So I'm going to have to follow that heat in the heat of Arizona. Looking forward to that. And as always, if you guys got any good coffee shops,

you can recommend me in any of those places. I am, uh, I'm all ears. So, oh, Billy, no weed. Oh, Billy got out of control with the weed and, uh, I don't like, you know, stuff having controlling me. And I got to tell you, man, like the chemicals, the THC, the shit they're putting in this stuff, dude, I am like coming up on, uh, be two weeks tomorrow. And, uh, I still keep having, like, I've had a couple of fucking weird ass dreams.

fucking listen to this dream i'm not going to say who it was it was a friend of mine that uh plays in a in a band you guys would all know someone i've met over the years right and uh and no it's not scott ian from anthrax who i just had on my podcast who was a fucking incredible guest and a great person too um and i have my favorite part of that interview he was talking about when you know the first drummer in their band. And they had this band where they would play like obscure covers.

And of like well-known bands or whatever. Like say like you're into ACDC, but rather than playing you shook me all night long, you don't even play back in black. You don't play shoot the thrill. You don't play, you don't play Hell's Bells. You play Have a Drink on me. You know?

Oh, what's that last one on the first side? Riding on a free fly, riding on a Let me put my love into you, baby. Yeah, they play obscure shit. Well, the first drummer they had, he would play shit, the tempo would be too fast. And I said to him, I said, did that drive you guys nuts? He said, no, we all liked it.

We liked playing fast. And just sort of that guy, you know, his adrenaline going, and causing him to play it at a faster temper than the record and then them discovering that they liked it. You know, because there was no speed metal bands. It wasn't even a thing. Like, these guys were part of the big four that came up with it. He was telling the story of how this happy accident, you know,

led to this thing, you know, just like chocolate chip cookies. I mean, it was a complete act. Speed metal was a complete fucking accident. Anyway, I got like, I love hearing stories about that, but it wasn't him. was somebody else in a different band. So I had this fucking, you know, weed withdrawal. Just let you know, my weed smoke and got to the point where it was like almost every night

and I would take two or three puffs. So I still feel like I was kind of like, you know, I was like, you know, as far as my tolerance, like if it was a gummy, I was like a five milligram person. And I didn't like doing 10. I would just be like fucked up. I'm a lightweight. And even with this lightweight shit, I am like two weeks into this stuff. I'm still having these fucking bouts of like depression, like waves of depression or like irritability really came in this week. And the first week was like anxiety. But they say that you have like

these vivid fucked up dreams. The only one I can remember was I had this, I had this dream. I was at a party at this musician's house and it was funny. He was there and all of his kids were there. But all of his kids looked like this musician at different ages, except one of them who looked like him but for some reason had eyelashes that were like dyed blonde

and they looked like a Venus flytrap when he was blinking. It was fucking weird. So I'm over at the dude's house. And there's a bunch of off-duty cops there. Music is playing. And they want me to go up like outside and do stand-up. And it's like, yeah, dude, I'm not fucking doing this.

Everybody's wasted. Like, this is like a hell gig. So the cops were mad that I wasn't doing that. And then for some reason, I had to go to downtown L.A. And I took a sip of this drink. And I started like, feeling a little weird. So I get on the subway out here in L.A.,

which then was kind of New York. And, you know, I wasn't hanging on to anything. And then all of a sudden the train kind of was coming to a stop. And rather than reaching out to grab something, I started like stumbling through the train, not fast, but I was sort of spinning as I was tumbling. And everybody I went by was going, I'm sorry, sorry about that, sorry, sorry.

And then I was like, I need to get off this train. train and I saw my stop go by. I missed my stop. So I go to get off from the next stop. And all of a sudden, there's like this three foot gap between the subway and the platform. So, and I almost had like vertigo. And my head was feeling like I was under the influence of something. So I like sort of like rolled off the train. And then was like hanging onto the platform so I wouldn't fall onto the track as the train left. And then finally I got back to the party. And the musician told me that the cops were all pissed at me because I wasn't going to do stand-up and they all thought I was a pussy. And then I just finally said to the guy,

I was like, dude, I gotta be honest with you. I think somebody put something in my drink. And he just snapped his finger and he pointed at me. And everybody cheered like they were all waiting for me to figure it out that I had been roofied. And that was the end of the dream. So, I am like two weeks into this,

and I found once a fucking again, I got my dumbass addicted to something, but like I'm not like, I've never been Billy Rehab or Billy A.A. I'm not that far, but I have fucking problems. I got to keep shit out of the house. Like, I don't have any cigars in the house, so I'm not smoking cigars right now.

So, like, you know, I kept doing, these fucking stand-up shows and these weed people would show up and they'd give you a whole bag of you know here's some shit you grind up here's some pre-rolls here some blah blah blah because you know I had a whole drawer full of this shit and then all of a sudden I'm just smoking old billy fucking three puffs and uh it got to the point just like my drinking well I was like I don't want to do this I'm not doing this tonight I'm not doing it and then there I am lighten up and then I was just like god damn it now I got to go through this shit again right So I'm two weeks into it.

And, you know, I'll be fine. You know, I guess it takes like a month to get all this shit out of it. But if you're like... So anyway, so I go on the fucking Internet, and I start looking up all of the... Sorry peeking into the air conditioning. It was just getting fucking hot here because, you know, it's 90 degrees out into fucking October out here.

And the billionaires are just going to keep fucking making AI. even though everybody's saying we need to slow it down. They're so busy competing. It's like toxic competitiveness with each other. And it's just like, all right, I just at this point, you know, the Zen thought is you don't stress out over what you can't control. You know, I guess we're just going to have a science fiction ending. That's all right.

It's all right. It's all right. What are we going to do? it is and i really have to feel like this is what's supposed to happen you know like we were supposed to there's a beginning and a middle and an end and like the reason why there's sociopaths and narcissists and just like i don't know selfish fucking people out there they are they are here so that our time on earth can end and then something else can have a crack at it you know and i really feel like this has happened over and over and

over and over and over again and i'm willing to bet that the earth is even older than what the fucking scientists have been able to figure out by digging into the ground i think all they're digging into is what was what came out of after the last people fucked it up like i've had a theory for a long time, of course, this is based in a summer school education, that water is the toxic waste from the last fucking people that fucked up the planet. This was their plastic, this was their nuclear waste or whatever, and we just grew out of it. I know none of that makes sense. But that's just what I think. So anyway, going back to wherever the fuck I was at, I went on the internet and I was just watching all of these videos on people quitting weed and what they're going through.

Now, a lot of these people that, like, you know, the people that have, like, ridiculously high tolerances, like, which to me is anything north of 10 milligrams. Like if you can take a 20 and still have a conversation, go to work with 20 milligrams in you and you're just like, you know, and then I'm projected in the fourth quarter, we feel blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like that to me is like any sort of wake and bake person. Dude, these people were talking about the withdrawals they went through. It was like listening to fucking somebody kicking heroin.

So, I don't know. My whole life growing up, they said that weed was not addictive. But now that it's legal, and big corporations are making money off of it. I mean, they made Doritos addictive. So that's how they, anything you ingest, they make addictive. You know, so I imagine that whatever they're putting into it, which you're never going to know, they're never going to tell you,

it's probably really not good for you. I'm not going to lie to you. After a really fucking stressful day, you know, Having a drink, having a puff of weed, smoking a cigar was something that I enjoyed. But I don't have the ability. I just wish I had the ability to just have a fucking glass of wine and drink it and enjoy it and just go. Like, yes, that was, you know, I wish I had the ability to eat a fucking couple of Oreos. I just can't fucking do it.

I just got to ramp it up. fucking fucking sucks but I you know but anyway I don't I don't think about drinking anymore

but I'm almost eight years into not drinking so I just got to I don't know what I'm going to do I don't know what the fuck to do with this shit I think I'm going to treat it like cigars but look at me I keep treating cigars like cigars and then I keep fucking going back to Billy one a day

and then I got to shut it down and I don't smoke for fucking three months it's just I don't know that's what my life has basically become my life has been just become like okay I'm not addicted to this but now I'm addicted to that

now let me stop this and then I'm addicted to it just goes from one thing to another I was thinking of like trying to do something for like a week but I can't because I'm self-employed like what if like

for a whole week, I just lived like I did when, before I ever had any sort of substance. Like, you know, Billy 12-year-old. No cell phone, no coffee, no weed, no booze, no cigars, nothing. Like, then what happens? Then what happens is I got to go outside and do something. That's why you went out and played. fucking high. You go ride your bike, you go play some sports. I don't know. But I'll tell you, man, I am fucking squirly right now. All right, let's get into the, anybody else trying to kick this

fucking kicking weed? Like we're talking about heroin here? Anybody else who thought they, no, I'm a casual fucking person. And then all of a sudden you go to stop and you're like, give me drugs, give me drugs. Remember that? The greatest John Travolta fucking Vinnie Barbarino episode. when Horshack gets addicted to the pills. Give me drugs. Give me drugs. All right. True work, everybody.

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On to you guys. Reading to M-E-S. Here's your questions here for the week. Oh, look at the first one, new Tiger Stadium. I've been talking about this, you know, how they, you know, keep talking about they need a new stadium so they can compete. They don't need a new stadium. They need to draft better, get better coaches,

have a better GM and a better owner. The new stadium doesn't do anything. It does absolutely nothing other than make the value of the team go up, the owners to make more money, and for you to have all your tax dollars that could have helped out public schools, giving you health care and all this shit,

go to these fucking assholes. All right. Hey, Billy Nip Slit. I just heard about the new name for Tiger Steelech. stadium. Currently, Comerica Park. Starting next season, it will be fifth third park. What the hell, the person says. Naming stadiums after Banks is gross enough, but on top of that, this one sounds ridiculous. Yeah, fifth third park is weird. Jack White had a hilarious and angry Instagram post about it mentioning how it sounds like something Sylvester the cat would say,

Pretty spot on. Dude, Jack White, by the way, is low-key, fucking hilarious. He did some movie. I just saw a clip of it where he played Elvis. He was amazing as an actor, as everything that he does is amazing. Anyway, P.S., another great underrated 70s movie is figures in a landscape. I never heard of that. It's basically just Robert Shaw and Malcolm McDowell.

Now that's Quint from Jaws and Malcolm McDowell from um, um, um, Clockwork Orange, running from a mysterious helicopter through an unnamed country with almost no context, strange, exciting and captivating. Oh, and I love the fucking metaphor for that. Big brother or fucking freaking out on drugs. Anyhow, thanks for all the laughs. I will definitely check that out.

I will say right now, I am on a, um, I'm on a big music kick, too. I've been listening to a bunch of Bill Evans. And as much as Miles Davis has always been my guy as far as in all the musicians that he played with. There's something about the emotion that Bill Evans plays with that I don't know. It just gets me. and I like it in the morning or at night. Anytime I need to like chill,

anytime I'm sad, anytime I'm hopeful. I put on his stuff and it's just incredible. I recommend the album, Everybody Diggs Bill Evans, which, by the way, there's a movie that came out about his life this past year that I really want to watch that is called Everybody Diggs Bill Evans. And it's about that period of time where, I think that's the album that he recorded live at the Village Vanguard. And right after, I don't want to ruin the movie,

but right after that, a tragedy hits him that causes him to stop playing piano and blah, blah, blah, blah. So I actually tempted to watch that tonight, although my lovely wife and I, I told you, downloaded that series Dallas. and we are now into the second season and we just watch one or two episodes a night and it is so fucking funny

how much my wife is into it like she is talking to the TV like she does when she used to watch real housewives and I laughed last night I go oh my God you are so fucking ridiculously into the show and she started laughing she's like fuck you so are you I go no no I am I'm totally into it

I'm loving it, but, you know, my wife is like the coolest, knows where to eat, knows all the music, knows all the spots. Every once in a while, I have an idea or a plan or something. So I was just happy that, you know, she got into it. So we've been watching that. Anyway, all right, yeah, that is fifth third park. Fifth third is where enough. It's weird enough I don't picture

it's the best of the cat saying T.H. To T.H. Man. There's a lot of hard shit in there. Then the RK. Fifth Third Park. You know what that is? That's like the fucking, you know,

Wheel of Fortune is like the cheapest fucking game show out there. Like they don't want anybody to win the grand prize in the end. This is like the final thing. Like, the final puzzle you'd have to solve. Fifth Third Park.

Oh, I'm sorry. It's fifth third park. Like, that's the kind of shit that they would do in the end. Like, nobody's getting that. All right. Lizards infiltrating kids' sports. Hey, Billy Bulbous balls. I guess it's alliteration and insulting my body.

I have no idea. All right. How do you know what my balls look like? Bulbous. Wait a minute. I thought that meant swollen. Does that mean like colorful? Hang on a second. To match my personality. Bulbis. Do they spell it right? Ah, geez. I got to turn the internet back on. I got to turn it back on. All right. Bulbis is that means fat, rounder bulging, often resembling a plant. All right. by the way did anybody i don't know where the fuck i was but did anybody see robert plant come out with his band and do that on um on uh uh oh fuck whose talk show was it i can't on one of these fucking talk

shows i was death scrolling or whatever stephen gobert and he did his uh version of uh rambleon a zeppelin tomb it was amazing here's something right here You know, when people, like, everybody's trying to get fucking plastic surgery and just, I don't know, they're afraid of looking their age or something like that. If you want to see how it's done, look at fucking Robert Plant. Guy has just aged gracefully. He's acted his age. He has a sense of humor about himself. And he just sang that song at the age he was at, and it was absolutely gorgeous.

Check it out if you get a chance. I reposted it. It might still be in my stories. on Instagram there. All right, Billy Bulbis Balls. You got kids getting right around the age where youth team sports becomes a thing, so I need to go down,

I needed to go down this rabbit hole. Private investment firms are buying up youth sports. Yeah, I know. The whole thing is fucking ridiculous. It's ridiculous. They've taken all the fun out of everything. Let me shut off this fucking air conditioner. It's loud as shit here.

the old rattle and hum my fucking air conditioner yeah it's awful they just as they've done with everything everything has an outfit everything has pressure

and all of this stuff like sports is supposed to be fun and before you even get into this if your kid is going to make it into the MLB people are going to see it and they're going to come find you and all of this shit where people are going out and they're getting coaches for these kids

and sliding mitts and compression sleeves. It's there. I mean, it's just, it's stupid. And then you get all, you know, your level of commitment to your child's sports playing future and all of this shit. It's just, all you're going to do is just burn them out. And they're not, and they're going to miss out

on all the great things that you learn in sports, you know? Handling, winning, and losing, being a good sport, being a teammate, choosing the team over your own, individual wants and all of that shit. And I just think the more you get into those travel teams is the more you're going to run into these toxic sports parents that used to just be like stage moms back in the day

who wanted their daughter to be the beauty queen of fucking, you know, I don't know, the greater Worcester area. I have no idea. Anyway, this person goes on to say that one of the wildest examples of private investment firms buying up youth sports is Murray Gunty, founder of Black Bear Sports. Oh, the Black Bear Sports Group and Black Street Capitol Holdings. Black Bear has bought up nearly 50 ice rinks, but they also own youth hockey clubs league tournament. Yeah, dude, like, this is not capitalism. This is monopolies are not capitalism.

And any time they try to stop monopolies, all they say to everybody, this is socialism. And then maybe it was like, communism? What's going to happen next? Vans are going to pull up and just grab people off the street

and you never see them again? Oh, wait, that's already happening. Yeah, but that's illegal aliens. That's not going to happen to us. Oh, no, you got nothing to worry about. You're eventually going in the van, you fucking idiots. Unless you just keep sucking the corporate cock. All right, Black Bear has brought down,

bought nearly 50 ice rinks. They also own youth hockey clubs, leagues, tournaments, scoring, software, streaming, and merchandise. Their co-president Tony Zezowski has basically described the strategy as keeping as much of the money as possible inside their ecosystem. Yeah, there's nothing, this is how everybody's doing business now.

These people, I swear to God, I swear to God, it's beyond they need to be broken up. Like something needs to happen to these people. Like they have to go to jail. You got to start putting these greedy cunts in jail. That's what needs to happen. This is not free enterprise.

This is dominating a market in creating a toxic, you're just making the herd run. I fucking hate these people. They're not human beings. Who would do this to kids? Who creates an ecosystem in youth sports? Anyway.

And it's much bigger than hockey. KKR bought varsity brands for 4.75 billion. EQT bought IMG Academy for 1.25 billion. brand velocity group co-founded by Eli Manning, recently acquired RCX Sports. I'm surprised that professional athlete is involved in this. They usually speak out against it, which operates official youth programs for the NFL, NBA,

WNBA, NHLB, and MLS. I'm going to predict this right now. What you're going to get in there is you're going to get a bunch of toxic people, burning kids out. They're going to get an unlawful. unbelievable amount of injuries. They're going to need therapy after it.

And then not to mention that, you're going to, if they dominate it and this is where all the kids are, who gets what else is going to show up? All the fucking predators and pedophiles and all of that type of shit. It's not good. Congress actually held a hearing in June called Field of Fees, Private Equity's role in the commercialization of American youth sports. I'm a strength coach and a new dad and the more I read about this,

the more it feels like lizard people discovered the final untapped market. Parents who will spend almost anything if they think it gives their kid an opportunity. Would generally love to hear your take on it. Yeah, I am anti-travel team. But I also am at the very beginning. I don't know if it's inevitable

if I want my kids to keep playing organized sports. I have to tell you, And I think a lot of people will attest. Did you ever, when you were growing up, did you ever have more fun than just getting together with your childhood friends playing pick up hockey on a pond? Did you ever have more fun just playing pitchers poison when you could actually just go to a fucking baseball, they were just public.

And if you got there first, you could just play. And if more kids showed up and then you played each other, pick up hoop, you know, all of it. we used to play in my hometown. We started playing this game every Friday after school, tackle football in high school. And we would come in on Monday just talking about how much fun we had. And it just kept getting bigger and bigger and bigger to the point. It literally became like 11 on 11.

And it's the first time I ever hurt my back. I was playing that game. And it just, it was the best. I would just say, you know, you don't have to participate in this. And I don't know. I just think it's a tragedy how everything is owned by so few people now and how they just, you know, they're going to do this with natural resources they already have, but they're going to continue on with, like, water.

And I hate to tell you this, your politicians are going to sell out to these people as they're going to. always do because they're even out of control. Like they, you can't even, like bribing them is legal now. And it's called a gratuity. And they actually have a rule, though, that the politician cannot get the gratuity until they do what it is the person who's going to give them the gratuity wants. And all that does is just protect the person that's buying a politician.

And it happens on both sides. But as long as we keep playing this game, I'm white, You're black. We're on different teams. I'm blue. You're red. I'm West Coast. Your East Coast.

All of this dumb shit is all designed so they can keep doing this to everything. That's my take on it. And I don't know. I don't know if there is a way to bring people together. I don't think. I don't know. I think at some point we're going to have to like the way that they're going to start shutting off the power and shit like that and fucking with.

the food supply, we have to get organized and fuck with them the same way. Be like, all right, we're not on the internet for a week. We're going to go on strike on the internet. Now, we've shut down all of your businesses. Because what they have done is they put all of their peas in one fucking pot. And it all hinges on us being on our phones. You get in a totally nonviolent, no protest, nobody has to get maced. Nobody has to get the shit kicked out of them. Nobody gets to be the first people. They try that thing that shoots like 200 decibel sound at you. and fucking makes you deaf? Like this is the technology

because they know we're eventually all going to get on the same page and rebel against this. You can stay in your fucking house. Just I'm not participating. I'm not streaming anything. I'm not going to be on my phone. Yeah, I'm taking all the TVs off my fucking wall.

Sticking them all in one fucking room. And we're going to, you're going to have to have in a fucking safe room in your fucking house where you guys can tell you. talk with your neighbors and plot to try to figure out how to stop literally 0.1 of 1% from staring this whole thing into the abyss. They're out of their fucking minds. They're out of their fucking minds. To the point that this shit is the shit I was talking about when I first

started my podcast and everybody thought it was crazy. Now there's mainstream people going, if they don't stop this fucking AI, there is a chance we could all be dead in five years. This is like being said, nobody says anything. And they're still going after like, musicians that make comments about people committing genocides. They just made a comment about it. And everybody gets mad at the musician. It's like, why don't you focus on the person that's involved in the action with the body count? It's all just misdirections.

So my little nonviolent rebellion is I try to live as much of an analog life as I can. I read. I go outside, I swim, I ride bikes, I play baseball, like soccer, I play sports with my kids. That's what I do. And if some lizard people want to fucking take over all of them and make you pay $4,000 for my kid to learn how to play fucking hockey, then, you know, I'm just going to find a fucking frozen pond and teach them how to skate and play like I did, you know? That'll be their next move.

They'll buy up all the fucking lakes in Minnesota. the way they bought up all the fucking beaches in Jamaica. Anyway, moving on here. Ficked up ways to die. Oh, okay, I like this. Ficked up ways to die. Hey, Bill, you red fuck. I heard you on a recent podcast talk about

the brazen bull way of torture and death where the victim is essentially cooked alive inside a metal bull. You had me thinking about other fucked up ways. to die. Have you ever heard of these methods? Oh my God. I hate reading. I hate reading fucking people being... Dude, can somebody write in where we're being nice to each other? Scafism? Parantheses, the boats. I don't know if I said this right. The Persian Empire did this.

They would strip you naked and bound you tightly inside of a hollowed out log or boat with another boat fastened on top so only their head, hands, and feet protruded. Executioners force-fed the victim milk and honey, which triggered severe, uncontrollable diarrhea. They would then smear honey over the victim

and expose his face and eyelids left under the blazing. son, the buildup of excrement and the sweetness attracted thousands of swarming. I'm not reading this. I'm not fucking reading this. Like, I just, the cruelty of human beings, I think we know it at this point. I don't want to know about any of this fucking shit. And my thing at that point, why wouldn't you do, oh my God, there's a gecko in my

fucking, in my goddamn office, a little fella. Dude, you're going to die in here, man. I don't got any food. Maybe it was running from a snake. Like that video. Anyway, maybe it just likes the podcast. Why wouldn't you just do what Hillary Swank's character did

at the end of a million-dollar baby? Just bite your fucking tongue off. So you bleed to death. Jesus Christ. Like, they, these, it's like this fucking ice shit. Okay, these people are illegal immigrants. Do you have to be so mean to them?

Do you got to feed them food that in the broth has actual maggots? Like, why do you have to do that? Because you're saving money on the quality of food? Like, they haven't committed like some sort of violent, like, violent crime. Like, what the fuck are we doing? This is the United States of America. Why are you treating people like that?

If you read our history, you know why. Yeah, you have like our propaganda, and then you have what really fucking happened. It's like, I remember when I used to do stand-up at colleges, you'd read their pamphlet, and somehow they were all number one in something. They would figure out how to work the numbers that they were number one in something.

You know, number one community college and blah, blah, blah. in the greater fucking part of this area. They would figure out a way that they were number one in something. I don't know what. But anyway, I'm holding out, I don't give a fuck at this point. I'm just going to be nice to people.

That's all I want to do. I'm just going to be nice. I'm going to try to help fucking people out. All right? That's it. I'm not hating people. I'm not going to be racist. I'm not going to be nationalistic.

I'm not going to be homophobic. I'm not going to fucking hate you because your political views are different than, mind. I'm not doing any of this shit. I'm going to say hello. I'm going to be nice to you and I'm going to wish you. I have a nice day. How about that? Can I do that? Does that do anything? Does that do anything fucking positive? And I'm not going to fucking stress out about shit that I cannot fucking control. I'm just going to go Buddhist Zen shit here. The robots are coming. There's nothing I can.

can do about it. There's wildly ignorant people that are getting fucking more racist by the goddamn second. That is even infiltrated stand-up comedy. The amount of overt fucking racist comedians that I've seen, it's just fucking, it's, it's fucking insane what is going on. So there's nothing you can do about it. So other than choose to not be that. So that's what the fuck I'm doing.

And I watch sports. if I can figure out how to do it. If anybody can tell me, figure out how to fucking tape a game on YouTube, let me know because I'm trying to figure it out. I don't know how to do it. I can't figure it out.

They always say, go into the fucking settings and click on this. And then click on it. I always click on it, and the next thing they say to click on is not there. And then I got to figure out,

well, when was this information given? Do I not have the new one? Do I have the old one? Or is this the old thing? But I have the new thing. And then I just say, you know what? I don't give a fuck. There used to be two football games on when I was a kid,

the one o'clock and the four o'clock, your game and then somebody into division. Do I need to look at all the fucking games? Am I an analyst? No. Just watching the Pats. All right? And I believe in Drake May.

I believe in our coach. I believe in our offensive line. We're going to fucking turn it around. Everybody relax. That's it. That's the podcast. Go fuck yourself. and I'll check in on you on Thursday.