Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 1-25-21

Episode Date: January 25, 2021

Bill rambles about Dave Richardson, long winded people, and relationship red flags.

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Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Byrne, and it's time for the Monday Morning Podcast for MONDAY! August 25th, 2021 What's going on? How are ya? How's it going? How's it going, everybody?

I hope you had a wonderful football weekend. I did. Had a great time. I rented that UFC thing, but I fucking was so tired I fell asleep. I know what happened. I'm gonna watch it. I just haven't seen it yet.

You know, kids wear me out, man. I can't. I'm not gonna lie to you. Kids wear me out. Like, I had to watch the playoff games. Playoffs? I had to watch him like I was recording him. And then I would go play with my daughter up until her nap. And then her nap would happen.

Then I would watch some more fast forward and through commercials and then fucking go back out to the driveway. It's all about you got to wear them out. You got to wear them out. You know, I played Pokemon. I played fucking why don't play T-ball anymore? I underhand it. She fucking crushes it left handed.

We were on the balance bike. Play this game where I roll the basketball down the hill and she tries to beat it on her scooter. Doesn't like to wear the helmet. I'm a kid from the 70s and 80s. I respect that. But, you know, I still got to make sure she wears the helmet. She doesn't like it.

So I like that old school NHL player. So I was doing that while I was watching the game. I was able to watch most of the Green Bay Tampa game. I missed the halftime when they let up that touchdown pass to Tom Brady and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. First of all, you just got to say what a pleasure that was as a fan to watch Aaron Rodgers versus Tom Brady when they both had great teams.

I know Green Bay Packer fans got to be upset losing that. They definitely had the opportunities because Tom started turning it over through three picks in the second half, something you don't you just don't see. Was one of them in the first half? I can't remember. I think all three were in the second half and I was like, oh, fuck, because I thought when they when they let up that touchdown

right before the half and then the second half started and they had that fumble and Tom put it in. It was like 28 to 10. I was like, oh, man, it's fucking over. I was like, this game is fucking over. And then all of a sudden Green Bay just started coming back and you got it. Well, we're not Aaron Rodgers.

What about when it was third and 15 and the guys in his own fucking end zone? You know, running for his life. Cool as a cucumber throws a fucking rope 20, 25 yards for a first down. I mean, the guy is just a beast. But Tampa's defense stepped up and was able to stop them on those turnovers. I think they turned all those three picks into like six points. Maybe if that I don't even know. But it's just fucking unreal.

Unreal Tom is back for his 10th fucking Super Bowl. It's incredible. He's got his work cut out with them. No, the juggernaut Kansas City Chiefs are coming his way. I mean, I don't know. He beat Drew Brees and the Saints and Aaron Rodgers and the Packers. Can he beat Patrick Mahomes and the fucking Kansas City Chiefs? I don't know.

I have no idea. That was really weird, that quote, though. Did you see that quote that what the fuck says name there? Bruce Aaron said Tom Brady gets to do things down here. He couldn't do up in New England like I let him coach the game. You know, he couldn't do that up. Sometimes I'm just standing there watching. Well, keep doing that, Bruce, because it's fucking working.

And say what you want. But I think we like it when Bill Belichick calls the fucking game. It worked out pretty good for us. What the fuck kind of Rex Ryan horseshit was that? That must have been taken out of context because I like that guy. All right. And I'm not even talking as a coach. I just look at that guy and I say, you know what?

That guy looks like he owns a boat and he would invite you over and you'd say, all right, Bruce, what do I need? Want me to bring some steaks when he wants some food, some booze? And he'd be like, don't fucking worry about it. Just show up and he'd be a great host, great host. Fucking said they didn't do that up in. Yeah. Oh, boohoo. We didn't do that up in New England.

Yeah. And he won six fucking Super Bowls and went to nine. Okay. Fucking Bill Belichick has more fucking Super Bowl reigns than you got. Can't go hats motherfucker. Show some respect. I thought he was better than that Rex Ryan comment. It was probably taken out of context.

You know, speaking of which, my buddy told me goes, you know, this is documentary out about, about this sports superstar. You made the documentary and they showed me a clip. They put my joke in there and they took out all the fucking punch lines. And then they applied the punch line. I was saying his wife was a gold digging whore, not the floozy he was with. And they fucking changed that too. It's not what I said.

It's not what I said. So maybe, maybe Bruce meant something else. I don't know what, but anyway, Kansas City just, they just handled the bills. I mean, I know the bills came out early and they just, they just, they just, and they were winning, but like, I just worried they did not have the running game. You, like whoever's going to beat the Kansas City chiefs is going to have to basically do the old Bill Belichick thing where it's just like, all right, we're going to take something away from you and then we're going to control the

clock. And if you don't have a fucking solid running game and you're just going to try to go, you know, I don't know, pass for pass with Kansas City. I think enough teams have showed at this point that it doesn't work. That's what kills me about the Browns was they were so built. I would have loved to see Belichick coach in that team last week. Oh, that would have been something. Um, yeah, if anybody is going to beat Kansas City, I feel like one of their

running backs has to have 150, 160 yards. You got to have the ball for like 38 minutes. And I know that's asking a lot, but Jesus Christ. I mean, Tyreek Hill is just fucking ridiculous. I mean, did you see like when he, when he, that last long catch that he had? It was like everybody forgot how to tackle it. It's like they have so much respect for his speed. They give him that cushion and then the respect you gave him.

Now you're fucked and you got to run like 40 yards and hope somebody, I don't know, slows them down in front of them. I have no fucking idea, but they, they look like juggernauts, man. Um, but I, you know, Tom Brady, won his first Super Bowl against a juggernaut. Greatest show on turf. So we'll see what happens. We will see what happens, but I would just have to say, you know, you got to think that chiefs obviously are going to be the, the, uh, the favorites.

And look at the fucking chiefs, man, they didn't want a goddamn fucking thing in 50 years. Now they could go back to back and go from having one Super Bowl that nobody even remembers. It's all of a sudden they could, they could have three and then there they are, they're almost in the elite. I think you need four. What do you guys think?

I think you need four Super Bowls up there with the giants, right? And then you have the ultra elite where you got the fucking, no, then the next level is five, which is the, what, the Cowboys, the 49ers, and then six is the Steelers and the Patriots. So I think you need four. You really need five. You need five to be, I think up there with everybody else, but whatever, they are, they are built, but I'm calling it right now, calling it right now.

The team that beats Kansas city, the beats Kansas city is going to have to do that Bella check thing. They just doubled tight, tight recal, if that's fucking possible and go, all right, beat us with Kelsey underneath. At least this guy is going to make fucking 60 yard runs and then you, you, you got to get a couple of stops and then you got to eat up the fucking clock. If I was playing against those guys, I would not snap the ball.

I was just talking to a buddy of mine like that. I would eat up that 25 seconds every fucking time you want Patrick, my homes, sitting on the fucking sidelines, you know, like, uh, like, like Bernie, uh, fucking Sanders at the, uh, the, the, the inauguration, which I don't know why that was such a funny picture to everybody. Isn't that hilarious? Yeah. The guy that we all know, the guy that we all know, the guy that we all

wanted, who they boxed out for the second fucking election. Same fucking time. And now we're going to have this fucking warmonger egg. Great. That's great. That's hilarious. Let's make funny memes out of it. It ignore that the fucking democratic party doesn't give you the guy that

you're fucking asked for. All right. That's another fucking argument. And that's in over my head. Let's just keep going here. Let's keep going here. So, um, let's see here. What did I want to talk about?

Oh my God. If fucking Patrick Mahomes underhands the ball for a touchdown, one more fucking time, and I have to listen to people in the broadcast booth, lose their fucking mind, like they haven't seen them do it 50 fucking times. Oh my God, yes, underhand the ball. Can you fucking believe that? I mean, they got so many little, little cute plays around the goal line. We get it.

Like, am I the only person the first time they did that was, ah, that's a little sneaky play. I wasn't freaking out like they just reinvent. That is basically quarterbacks do that all the time. They just do it backwards to a running back. He's doing it forward. He's essentially throwing a football about three feet to a professional athlete the same way I throw it to my daughter.

I'm working at overhand with her. All right. I mean, that is incredible. That's like a lateral except it went forwards. I get it. I get it. There's 9,000 channels and I get to act like everything is just fucking the most insane thing you'd ever seen in your fucking life.

I will tell you why I do think KC is beatable because when they came out after a halftime and they said to Andy Reed, what'd you tell your team? And he said, score more points. I don't know. Maybe the game has changed so much. But to me, I always think, oh, that means you're fucking beatable. That means you don't believe in your fucking defense. Right.

Isn't that what the fuck that means? I don't know. I don't know. Back in the day, if you, if during the regular season, you always scoring 30, 35 points while giving up 25 fucking points a game or whatever 2025, those teams always fucking lost by the third round or the AFC or NFC championship game. Just saw that time and again. But I think it's changed so much.

Like the rules. I'll take a couple of fucking things that bugged me. Brady threw one up for grabs over the middle. All right. And the safety's right there, ready to pick it off. And then that number 14 comes in at the last second and just bumps into the safety, bumps them off the ball and catches and catches it. Okay.

That's textbook offensive pass interference, but they got this thing that the wide receiver has the fucking right to be there. If the safety does that, everybody in the fucking field is throwing a flag. And then the other one, the helmet to helmet. Like if a running back has the fucking ball or receiver and they lower their fucking head down to their waist, what is the defensive player supposed to do? The game moves so goddamn fast. You're coming in with your shoulder.

You're going to hit him in the waist. And at the last second, he brings his fucking head down. What are you supposed to do at that point? Those are the only ones like I don't like. And I know that there was that brutal pass interference, time for a pass interference call at the end of the green Bay game. And I had got a, I thought that game was officiated. Great.

And it's just when you're grabbing onto a jersey and the guy's three yards away and you still have his jersey and he looks like fucking stretch Armstrong from back in the day. I mean, they have to call that, I would think. So, um, you know, watching it at full speed, I thought it was like, oh man, why would they call that them? But then when they had that one really good angle, where you saw what the back judge saw, it's like, all right, can't get mad at that.

So anyways, there you go. You got Tom Brady versus Tom Brady, Jr. What the fuck am I trying to say here? The fucking brain is so goddamn showdown showing off. I kept thinking the showdown facing off. There we go. In the fucking Super Bowl, who do you like? I obviously want Tom Brady.

I mean Tampa to win. It was great seeing Gronk get a big catch to every fucking New England fan. I know it's going fucking crazy right now because Tom Brady is in the Super Bowl. It's like my, my buddy tests me. He goes, dude, that felt like a Patriots win. I'm so fucking rooting for the guy. So I think that's really cool that as much as that guy left, everybody's not being a cunt about it.

I'm sure you could find a couple of cunts, but everybody's is very in New England, as far as my contacts are all very happy and are rooting for him to win. But on the other side, I also likes, you know, no, who's getting there is no other side. I'm rooting for Tom Brady, but like, I always like the chiefs anyway. So it's great seeing them, you know, back, trying to be the first team to go back to back since the 0304 Patriots, Tom Brady can stop it. Oh my God, there's so many different angles here.

He could get number seven, number fucking seven. How crazy is that? You know, then I was a little offended that they lumped them in with Peyton Manning and Craig Morton and Kurt Warner. Well, I can't get mad at Kurt Warner. You know what? I just wanted Tom Brady to be the first guy to go back with a different fucking team. But evidently he didn't.

That's what I was really upset with when they brought up that stat. He's doing what these three other guys already did. It's like, fuck. So all right, enough. Enough with my fanboying here. But that first game, I really liked in Buffalo Bills, nothing to hang your heads about what a season you guys had. And you were definitely the future of the AFC East.

I hope you go further than that. And how great was it that you got a 51 yard field goal during a playoff? You know, I feel fucking bad for those guys. They have to win the fucking Super Bowl because if they don't, they're just going to keep showing the fucking those four that you lost. They just won't let you up off the mat. And as a fucking Red Sox fan, I know what that feels like. They showed that fucking Bucky Den and fucking Bill Buckner and all of this shit

forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever. They just showed it for fucking ever. And we had to win like three of them before they stopped showing it. I remember that even when we fucking finally won it, then we weren't doing, we had some injuries the next year in September. I remember Dan Shaughnessy going, is the curse back? It was just like, oh my God, dude, fucking move forward. All right.

All right. With that, with that, let's talk about some other shit. I've been, I went out and I flew yesterday. It was raining out. It was really amazing that it was raining out and we're doing auto rotations and everything. And we were hanging around. The weather kept getting worse and worse and worse. And but it was fun.

And then all of a sudden the guy goes, hey, man, this is the last one you can do because then we're going IFR and helicopters aren't allowed to fly in IFR, but it wasn't a big deal because we're at the airport. And if worst case scenario, we just set it down there, taking Uber back to the other airport. So, you know, the other airport, fortunately, was just like one puddle jump over and we were able to fly over there. And as we went over there, right as we landed, they were going to IFR.

We could still see, but it was like I never flown and stuff like that. It was obviously with an instructor and everything. And it was really, really great experience, despite the fact that I would never fly in that by myself. But I got all this really, really cool experience. And I would show you guys the video of me doing auto rotations, but I just know that all you guys are just going to say, dude, you're going to fucking die.

And I just, you know what I mean? This is it's like if you have a motorcycle, you can only show the video to another friend who has a motorcycle. But if you try, I've kind of learned that if you fucking like try and, I don't know, talk to people who don't fly, that's all they do. All they do is just predict that you're going to fucking crash. It's just like, why, what the fuck are you doing that, man? I'm having a good time.

I'm enjoying my fucking hobby. This is how much I'm having a good time. I went over just a pre-flight, just a pre-flight, just to do it again, because I'm flying the cabri, which is a new one for me. I just want to know where everything is and what all this stuff is. And I don't know, I was just going over, they're just hanging out doing that.

And then my instructor swung by, he's like, it's not that bad. Let's go out and go fly. So the big thing that I've been learning for my auto rotations is we've been doing quick stops. And once I get that under control, that's like basically a quick stop is essentially the same inputs as the end of an auto rotation. So we just did a bunch of those,

and then I started doing autos. We were doing 180 autos. We were doing over the spot, my favorite thing. And I was just like, let me just take this one. So we were like right over the spot. I bled off all my forward airspeed. We started to, we were descending the whole time, but started descending a little more rapidly.

Actually, you're able to go backwards in the helicopter and then nose it down once you've, you know, judge your speed and everything like that. And I was actually, I put one like right on the, just beyond the number of the runway, which is the goal where we were trying to stop, where we were trying to land. And I had my best one as far as like

when I was pulling the collective up and the right foot, pedal input, my nose didn't go flying off to one side or the other. I didn't overcorrect with the right pedal and I didn't pull too much power, pulling the nose to the left either. I was pretty much, I think I was just a little to the right and I was able to back off a little with the right pedal.

Because that's the thing at the end of the auto rotation. You don't want to be, you want to bleed off all your forward airspeed and then you want to be face straight ahead because, you know, if you had just a little bit, just a little bit and if you landed just a little sideways, you could roll it, which you wouldn't die, but you'd ruin your helicopter. So why the fuck would you want to do that?

So anyway, I did a bunch of those and just had the best time. And where I'm flying out of now is a decent ride away from where I live. But I'm able to listen to a French lesson on the way there and on the way back. I'm sticking with that Pimsler French. And it's really helping with my pronunciation and all that type of shit.

And I know how to say all of this stuff now, but I don't know how to have a conversation because I'm not talking with anybody. So that's the next thing I need. And somebody was telling me that who knows all these languages and shit going like, you know, they got this thing, you can just sign up and you can talk to people in other countries knowing, you know, that, you know, trying to learn your language,

you're trying to learn their language or whatever, you can fucking go in there. I'm like, it's video? They're like, yeah, I'm like, that's too fucking weird. That's too weird. Some about that just feels like a dating app. I'm a married guy. It's like, I am not fucking going in there.

I'll find somebody out here that fucking speaks French and I'll shoot the shit with them. I'll figure it out that way, I think. I think that's a better way to go about it. So anyway, yeah, the Super Bowl. Once again, Tom Brady is going in there like he did when he was a young man and he's playing a team like his first team.

That is a offensive juggernaut that I think everybody, if you, you know, if he wasn't Tom Brady is going to be picking Kansas City. And, and I just, I just, oh man, my home is just, he has, he just has it. He has, that guy has that fucking thing beyond just being fucking amazing. Is he just has like that? I don't know what it is. He's got that extra fucking thing as does Tom. So we shall see.

I think Tampa has a better, it's weird. Tampa, I think has a better defense, but not much better. But Kansas City has a better offense and they have the best offense in the league. So I think that right there, making it a little bit more effective. I think that right there makes Tampa an underdog. But I don't know. I think Tom's been an underdog the last couple of weeks. So we shall see.

All right. With that, this podcast is always from here on out. We'll be brought to you by Herbs Cider. Tim Herb Alexander has an absolutely delicious hard cider. You can go to Herbs Cider.com. It's perfect for the winter months that we're in right now. It's great to watch the Super Bowl. So why don't you order some?

You know, have a little something different for your Super Bowl party at Herbs Cider.com. Now, who else do we got here? The fuck do I got here? Oh, Jesus Christ, dude, I've been smoking cigars like a fucking lunatic. Because my daughter wants me to quit. So I was just like, all right, well, I'm not throwing out these cigars. I'll just finish all the cigars in my humidor, which has given me the green fucking light to just fucking smoke every afternoon when nobody's around.

And I gotta tell you, if those things wouldn't kill you, I would never stop. I would never stop. So what's going to happen is I'm just not going to smoke at home anymore, which really makes me sad. But I know it's doing it for the kids. So I will only smoke if I'm on the road, or if I'm locally here and a friend wants to go out to a cigar bar whenever the fuck you can do that again. We shall figure that out.

I don't know. People are getting the vaccine. I haven't heard anybody die or fucking start eating somebody else's face. It seems like I know it's early. You know, I don't know. Dodger Stadium. Everybody was over there. Two and a half hour fucking wait.

Had a buddy of mine went over there and got it. Thank God. Oh, and I've been sort of avoiding this. I got some more sad news. David Richardson passed away. I don't even know where to begin about what a legend this guy was. Um, David Richardson is just one of the top.

He was there from day one with Ephesra family in the writer's room. He had the funniest, darkest, craziest creative mind in the room. I thought like just the stuff. So much of what Ephesra family is, is because of his talent. He was the one that, he was the one that made Frank a Republican and defend Nixon and make fun of the Kennedys and was for something that I never would have thought to do. And it made this great back and forth between the character of Kevin

played by the great Justin Long. You know, who's an artist and he plays guitar and he smokes weed. It just, it just added that extra like conflict. And, um, I don't know. And some of the, oh my God, so much of the shit that he said in the writer's room that we couldn't even, he couldn't even do on the show just to entertain us. I talked about this a little bit on the Bill Burt podcast. I remember when Prince died and everyone was just, oh my God,

I can't believe Prince died. And he came and goes, yeah, I think he's overrated. And just started this big fucking argument just for the fun of it. And we all took the bait and he was a big almond brother's fan. He was talking about Dwayne Almond and he just took on the whole fucking writer's room and he had a fucking ball doing it, big shit eating grin. And we all knew what he, what, what, what he was doing. And we just had so much fun.

We had so much fun with him and, uh, he was 65. I'm 52. So he was that age where he was like this cool older brother and this father figure. And I got a chance to spend a lot of time with him outside of the show. You know, we went golf in one time. We were always trying to go golf and I just never had time, but we did get that in one time. And, um, he came out to a couple of my shows when I was in Vegas. He came out to a bunch when I was here in LA.

And what I loved about him is I always felt how proud he was of whatever new thing that I was working on, that he really rooted for me. And I also felt that we just really connected comedically. And, uh, I am absolutely stunned that he's gone and, um, I don't know, man. Like I said, remember a few weeks ago when I, I said, I went, I got, I went to that pizza place and there was that, that kid there working there, she probably in her 20s, whatever. It's a kid to me. She said, uh, she had a hoodie on that said assholes live forever.

And I just was, that was such a profound statement from as far as where I'm sitting in life, where it just seems like my greatest friends and the nicest people I've ever met. I don't know why. I don't know why. In the last 15 years, I can't tell you how many of them I've lost. Um, I'm fucking sick of it, but I've realized that this is part of the part of the journey of living is that as you get older, people, you know, are going to die. So enjoy the hell out of them while they're still here and pray to whatever you pray to,

that there's something after this so you can see them again. So who knows who knows what's going on. So to the great David Richardson, thank you so much. It was an absolute honor and a pleasure to work with you, you know, to be, get a friendship outside of the business and hear all your incredible. This was a guy who was in the business for 40 years. Like he, he broke into the business. He used to submit jokes to the show.

Back in the late seventies and he worked on everything from massive hits to big flops. And he had all these hilarious, everything from like Malcolm in the middle. And, um, he worked on that show. I just forgot the name of it with, um, Charlie Sheen and Jonathan Crier worked on our show, obviously wrote movies. And if there's one thing I learned in my five seasons at Ephesda family is the, how hard people work in the writer's room and the editors and people that draw all of those people that for some reason,

when they give out the fucking awards, like the, like those people, they, they do it like between commercial breaks. So there's like a pre tape. It's really wrong because, um, I'll tell you, one of the things that made my drinking go off the fucking rails. And I finally had to quit was sitting in a writer's room 12 hours a day. And I remember when I quit drinking, you know, David was sober too. And he used to talk about it.

He goes, you know, because he has two, uh, younger boys from his second marriage. He used to say, when they get older, you know, and they're out of the house and, you know, being a great dad and blah, blah, he goes, I, I, he goes, I don't know. I think I'm just going to have one cold Miller high life. And I just, we should just sit there thinking about that. How great would that taste right now? But we both knew because we were old dads that we couldn't do it. So that was another level that I bonded with him on.

And, um, I love him to death and I am going to fucking miss him a crazy. I said, I love him to death and he's dead. Fucking sucks. I fucking hate this shit. I swear to God, you know, I swear to God, I, I, I don't even, I don't even understand what the fucking purpose of life is when shit like this keeps happening. You know, uh, thank God I got kids cause I swear to God, I would just be like, so, so that's just fucking it.

I mean, what, what is the point? Maybe these fucking people that just party and die. Maybe that's the way to do it. Like it makes you think shit like that. I know this is fucking dark and all that crap, but, um, it is what it is. But, uh, absolute, absolute fucking legend, David Richardson, and I cannot tell you how many times that guy had me crying, laughing in the writer's room when he would just say some crazy shit.

And what was, you know, it was great was I existed in between where he was and the younger people in the room where they grew up in a much, just a much different time as far as like political correctness and all these new terms. And, uh, he would just say shit or I would say shit knowing you're not supposed to say it and that he would laugh and other people would be like, what the fuck? You know, it was just so much fun, man. That's so much fun. So, uh, that's it.

That's it. Rest in peace, David Richardson, man. You were the best, buddy. You were the best. All right, let me see here. Uh, all right, we got Viome. Is that how you say it? Pronounced Viome, like biome.

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Oh, see, things are getting easier already. Sorry, beard cannon, Duke Cannon. I could have fucking read that a lot better. All right, here we go. Let's get into what you guys think here for the week. All right, over baked birthday cake tip. Oh, by the way, thank you to everybody who watched the hot box and with Mike Tyson. That podcast, I got to do a podcast with Mike Tyson and Jeremy Piven.

Fucking incredible time. I still can't believe I got to meet that guy twice in my life. I think I've met the best that ever did it. Lawrence Taylor and I met in Mike Tyson. Lawrence Taylor, Mike Tyson. I'm trying to think about anybody else. I think that's it. I never met Richard Pryor.

All right, over baked birthday cake tip. Aloha Billy Bolo head. Hawaiian pigeon word for bald head. Oh, cool. Aloha Billy Bolo head. Okay. I used to do gigs in Hawaii before this bullshit happened. I'll listen for that.

Hey, you fucking Mahala, you Bolo head. Is that what you say? I was listening to your podcast on January 21st, 2021. In regard to your over baking your daughter's birthday cake. Yeah, what I should have done when they said it was like, you know, whatever, 30 to 35 minutes. I should have come in there at 25 is what I should have done and checked it, but I didn't.

I was fighting off a cold. All right, I am a professional baker and pastry cook from Hawaii with 13 years experience. Oh, please give me a sage advice. If you've ever accidentally over baked a cake in the future, you can always cut the cake in half horizontally with a serrated bread knife and apply and soak simple syrup on the tops of each to moisten it

before you ice it. No way. You can watch video tutorials on how to do it. If you really enjoy baking, I highly recommend the book, The Art of French Pastry. Amen. Anyway, Mahalo Mahalo. Is that how you say it?

Mahalo. Was it Mahalo? Mahalo. Get low, get low. Mahalo for the laughs. And I can't wait for next season of efforts for family. Aloha to you and your family. Ah, wasn't that nice of you?

Susie, the pastry chef, I'm going to check that out. Who would have thought simple syrup? All right, emotional boyfriend or am I a bitch? I love when the lady's right in. Dear Billy, bagpipes. I love the bagpipes. I know a lot of people hate them. I love the bagpipes.

I don't like how they get treated like a kazoo or as a bagpipe, just a difficult kazoo. I've been with my boyfriend for two years now and it's going pretty good. I don't know how you talk. So maybe that's just how you talk, but that's kind of funny. If you were somebody for two years

and it's going pretty good, don't you want it to be going great? I think it was going to go great. It would have been going great by now. Anyways, maybe just how you talk. Yeah, it's going pretty good. We have the same hobbies, humor, goals, communication. Wait, an interest.

The problem is, however, is our emotional communication, meaning he's a complete Nancy boy that makes me some sort of a G.I. Jane, I guess. Oh, and that makes me some sort of a G.I. Jane, I guess. Although I don't know you personally, I feel we communicate similarly. I talk a lot of shit, say, fuck you casually, tell it like I see it.

Oh Jesus, no matter somebody's feelings. Whenever somebody says I say how it is, I always think like, all right, that means you're being an asshole. I tell it how it is. That's how racists like to say that. All right, I know what you're saying though. Okay, I tell it like it is,

no matter someone's feelings. What's taught crying is a signal for weakness. He cries all the time, constantly over explains his thought. His happy go lucky even at 6 a.m. and it's the type to wake me up whispering how beautiful I am. I have to choke back my laughter when that last one happens. Jesus Christ.

Okay, I love him dearly, but the majority, oh so you actually, it's going great, but you're so walled off emotionally earlier, you said it's going pretty good. All right, I'm starting to understand you. I love him dearly, but the majority of our fights stems from my attitude in quotes, not taking any responsibility for that, okay?

My attitude and it becomes unbearable for us both. I personally like my coldest because I feel it's made me a stronger woman and has led me not to victimize myself. I would be a liar if I didn't admit that I would like to tap into my emotional side a bit more. I've even shown him clips of you and Nia talking, saying, see, she doesn't get mad at him for, wait,

I've even shown him clips of you and Nia talking, saying, see, she doesn't get mad at him for having an attitude. And he replies with, yeah, well, he's actually funny. I'm not a seasoned comedian and my tone isn't paired with the silly Boston accent, so I'm shit out of luck. Well, I would think the fact that you say Nancy boy, you probably got some good English accent going on.

Sometimes I feel like I should go and find someone who understands my tones better and therefore I wouldn't have to try anymore. Exactly. Sometimes you get sick and you don't want to fucking, you get sick of it, you don't want to be challenged. But then again, I've dated guys more similar to me and it was boring,

not having the challenge of seeing someone so different. Have you ever had this, this same dilemma and do you have any advice on either being more soft or at least delivering your harsh words in a charming way? Compliments, compliments, compliments, thanks and go fuck yourself. Yeah, I've been where you're at. I'm a little further down your road.

Listen, I think you love this guy. You're not going to leave this guy and he's just, you know, when you're in a really good relationship, the other person is going to challenge you. So I think that the fact that he wakes up and tells you how beautiful you are,

the fact that you're laughing, I get it because you're like, we talked about it. I got morning breath, my hair's all over the place and you want to laugh. I think wanting to laugh at moments like that, speaking personally, is part of your childhood, your fucked up childhood that made you the person that you are.

And I've said the exact same thing. If I didn't have the childhood that I had, I don't think I would be able to, you know, handle the bullshit on the job that I picked, which is just a job. This is the job I picked. It's a fucking job. You show up on time, you do your fucking job,

you get paid, you say thank you when you leave. That's what it is. Anything else is just a fucking, it's bullshit. So being the way you are can really help you. Yeah, when you go out into the world, because it is a cold place, but the thing is, is when you come home, you got to shut that off.

Because I remember way back in the day, when the seller was the seller and the table was the table, my wife could tell when I went to the seller and when I didn't. I'd come home and I was so on bustin' balls mode, I'd come home and I needed to leave that at the door. So what you need to do is you need to come his way. All right, so I would work on coming his way

and then talk to him about fucking crying at the drop of the hat, because you don't need that either. I mean, that's not really reassuring as a woman that if some guy comes through the front fucking door, he's at least gonna fucking grab some sort of blunt object and give it a shot. You don't want him screaming louder than you. But I would say that you're with this person.

This person is going to make you a better person if your life works out the way mine did. And I love my wife and she's funny as fucking hell and can bust chops with the best of them. But she always lets me know when I go too far and then I legit feel bad. So I don't know if you're there yet. I mean, it took me, I mean, oh my God,

from like fucking my teenage years to being about 35 before anybody telling me what they needed from me emotionally didn't immediately gross me out or make me have to fight back laughing. I mean, I used to have this thing when people would cry talking to me. Like I would burst out laughing. I would, I still to this day, I watch movies and I laugh in the wrong parts.

And that's just part of, I don't know, whatever the fuck happened to me. So I think you got a great guy and I think you know you got a great guy. So I would come his way, but he needs to cry less. All right. I can say that without even knowing him. All right.

Okay. But you also have to accept him for who he is. All right. If he's going to fucking cry. I mean, I don't know. I don't know what he does for a living. I don't know. All right.

Let's move on. Talking all this emotional stuff is making me uncomfortable. All right. Long-winded girlfriend. Hi, Mr. Beautiful Burr. All right. So everybody's, everybody's talking about this. There are significant others this week, it seems,

except for the wonderful lady that taught me about the cake. Thank you so much. Me and my girlfriend have been dating almost five years. We live together, have a great dog together. We used to go to concerts before the pandemic and have the most fun and explore consciousness together. Ah, okay. Elevated way of saying take hallucinogens, of course.

My only issue is she tells the longest, most uninteresting stories with five million tangents and unimportant side characters. All right. Well, yeah, that can happen. So I would say my next question would be, well, how many stories does she tell a day? Anyways, I'm not only expected to listen to these 30-minute soliloquies, but follow every plot point and then respond at the very end.

I often don't know what to say at the end of her story because they take so long and involve so many topics that I get lost and uninterested. She then always tells me I have conversation issues and I'm not good at holding them. Conversation issues, is that even a thing? I figure she just would have thrown out the hacky ADD. My question is, is this something that will happen in all relationships?

No, you're just dating someone that doesn't know how to tell a story. How do I approach this? But that's weird that you would say this. Does this happen in all relationships? I mean, I can tell you this. If you're going to break up with somebody because they can't tell a fucking story, then I don't think you ever love them.

You know? My wife tells a great story, but if she's telling a bad one, I just start hackling. I'll just be like, stay on target. Not important information. This is what I would do if I was you. I would say, listen, I know that when you tell a story, I don't listen

and I know that that bothers you. My problem is, is your stories are really long and you just say a lot of stuff that doesn't need to be in there. You give me the director's cut. The 256 minute once upon a time in America. Like you guys suggested I watched last week, which I'm still trying to find where I can watch that. So what I would do is say, okay,

you're going to help me become a better listener. Are you going to do that for me? Oh, that's what I would say. That's how you go into it. You just say, okay, listen, if you help me with something, I'll help you with something. Right? And then you just say, listen,

can you help me become a better listener? Because I really want to be a better listener when you're telling your stories. Okay, because I know how much that bothers you. Can you help me with that? And she's a woman and they're giving, so she'll be, you know, unless you got somebody ice cold, she's going to be like, absolutely.

I'm so happy you asked me that. And then say, great. And then what I'm going to do is I'm going to help you tell a better story. At that point, she's going to get mad. And just, we're both going to have little fun. Both going to have little flags. I have a red one.

You have a blue one, just like politics. All right. When you feel I'm not paying attention, you wave your flag. And when I feel you're going off the rails with the story, I'll wave my little flag. Okay. And I think what you're going to find is

you're going to be waving your flag right after I start waving mine. You're going to start to learn where you lose the listener. She's not going to go for this shit. I'm just trying to be funny. Anyway, she says, my question is, this is something that happened. This is something that happens in all relationships.

How do I approach this? Have you tried to write time? I try to explain to her to simple, simply try and make the stories more concise so I can respond to her point. She gets upset. Yes. See, you're not going to learn anything.

See a lot of broads. They can't take it. They cannot see the thing about women as much as they're all out there, especially the white women are out there acting like you know, they, they exist in some slave labor fucking universe. The reality is, is most of them are so fucking coddled

that by the time you get into a relationship with them, they can't even handle the slightest of criticism. Not even the slightest. And then the, oh, so what you're saying is I'm fucking dead. It's not what I'm saying. It's not what I'm saying. And the big thing is, is when they do that,

you don't get drawn into a fight. You got to maintain your cool and just be like, listen, you know, you give me pointers. You try to help me be a better person. I'm just trying to help you be a better person. Now, what would happen if every time you did that to me, I just got mad? I would not grow as a person.

I'm doing right now what I'm supposed to do in this relationship. We're supposed to help each other become better people. Okay. And if I'm the only one listening to you, then what you're saying is that you're this complete person. Or you're just so much better than me that you don't need to listen to any of my critiques.

Then what the fuck are you doing with me? What are you slumming it? I'd try one of the two of those. The flag thing would be my wife would find that funny. I don't know what yours is like. And he goes, I don't want to end the relationship. Doing a silly issue. Sorry, I'm yawning here.

But I'm also at my wit's end. Any advice would be so helpful. My best to your whole family and thanks. Uh, yeah. Yeah. I do have to tell you, man. Like, how many fucking stories is she telling that you and how bad are the stories that you're actually

considering leaving? She just tells one bad story a fucking week and it's long as shit. And that's making you think I got to get the fuck out of here. I would get the fuck out of there. Okay. But she's telling one every day and it's becoming a fight or even every other day.

Then I guess I get it. Anyway, all right. Oh, speaking of flags, girlfriend and red flags. Dear Balsak looking ass. And hopefully the lovely Nia. I'm a 24 year old from the land of wheat, beer and fat girls. Good old Kansas. The Jayhawks.

That's my college basketball team. I've been dating my girlfriend now for about seven months with no problems whatsoever. And I've talked about moving in. Why am I yawning about moving her into my house when she is done with schooling come summertime? She's a year younger than me and almost done with school, blah, blah, blah.

Anyways, there's been no red flags in a relationship until recently. Oh, Jesus. He writes she has recently mentioned in a joking manner. We all know and ain't joking that she would like to get her boobs done. No red flag there, right? I mean, I think the Kardashians have made that shit so fucking mainstream. Anyway, well, a few weeks go by and she mentors wanting to get a nose job

along with lip injections and Botox in her forehead. Okay. Yeah. See you. Bye. Bye. I was taken by surprise by the amount of insecurity she truly holds in herself, which is something she has been.

She has been open about before. This is a major turnoff to me and seems to be her trying to chase temporary happiness. She's a very attractive lady already in most people's eyes. All right. You need to tell her that she's attractive and lead off the in most people's eyes. Um, I would, I would, I would, oh, then he says, so here's my problem. Ball sack looking ass.

Now, wait a minute. Are you the one giving her this comment complex? This is the second time you said I look like a fucking ball bag. I'm ready to get Botox halfway through this goddamn question. Um, I would suggest to her, I would just listen. I would say, I would talk to somebody first for a long time. You're still young and you're still beautiful.

That's not even still as bad thing to say to somebody like that. You're young and beautiful. I don't know what's going on with you. You need to talk to somebody before, you know, you start making. This is like you're getting a tattoo on your face. That's what plastic surgery is. It's a fucking tattoo on your face. Your eyebrows are going to be that way forever.

Your lips are going to be that way forever. Um, I don't know. Well, a few weeks go by and she mentions wanting to get it. Okay. She already says a nose job. So here's my problem. Ball sack looking ass in my eyes. She will never be happy and there will always be something that isn't good enough for her and it will drain me in the long run.

I know this seems ladies like he's being ice cold, but this is how you need to be in a relationship. You got to really weigh what you're into. I mean, what's your, what you're in for? Because these fucking things are hard. All right. And, uh, you know, I think it's pretty fucking weird if you married someone and by your 15th anniversary, uh, people look at your wedding photos going like,

I didn't know you were married before. No, that's the same woman. Um, anyway, she doesn't seem to think it's a big deal about getting all of this and would, and would make her feel better about herself. So what's the issue? Should I let her do what she wants with her body and not worry about it? Or is this a real concern for me to get out now? Give me your thoughts and hopefully we can hear from the lovely Nia as well.

Thanks and go fuck yourself. I would get out now. Just the way this whole thing is written. I don't feel like you love this person. I think, uh, yeah, I don't think you're 24, you're young, I mean, you know what, that should freak you out at 24 that someone wants to change their fucking face. You're young, get the fuck out, just get out. I would get out.

That's exactly what I would do. I would get the fuck out. And if you're going to stay in, I would tell her to go talk to somebody for at least a year, a year in therapy to figure out why when she looks in the mirror, she sees whatever she's seeing. But this, her issues are not your responsibility. And your issues are not her responsibility. When you guys get in relationships, your issues are what's going to come to the forefront. And it's what you're going to have to deal with.

And that's where the love has to come in. Because if the love isn't there, it's, it's not going to make it. And just the way you've written this fucking thing, I just feel like it's not there. I could be wrong. If it is there, um, what I would, and you're going to stay in this, I would suggest that this person finds out why it, I'm guessing she's around your age, right? A year younger than you, 24, dating a girlfriend, blah, blah, blah, blah. Well, let's say she's your age, 24.

Me, you shouldn't be getting plastic surgery at 24 with the, you know, what are you doing? You're in, you're in the prime of your life. You should be, this is the beginning part where you learn you're undoing all of your childhood and learning to accept yourself as an adult and see what your strengths are, what your weaknesses are, and have a sense of humor about your weaknesses. You work on them. And then you, you go to your strengths and find somebody fun to share your life with.

That's what you should be doing. I really don't see, um, it's really why, you know, I don't know the cultural effect of that Kardashian show, you know, where you got like some of them are like models and they're already, it's like, you're a model. You're making a living by being beautiful and you're already getting work done before you're 25. It's just, that's a hell of a fucking statement. Um, that's crazy.

I don't know. It's fucking nuts. Anyway, that's just my opinion. What the fuck do I know? All right. Major girlfriend, red flags drama. Okay. This is what I just read, right?

20 years. Is this just like all red flags? Oh, not the red flag here. Major girlfriend, red flags drama. All right. This is the red flag fucking podcast. The challenge for the people throwing the challenge. So we're going to call it from now on.

I love, I'm in a relationship with this guy. There's woman, whatever. And I'm feeling like I got to throw the challenge flag here. All right. All right. Hey, Billy bust inside. Bust inside. Is that because I'm a dad twice?

Is that what it is? I have a situation on my hands and would like some advice from you. So I am 20 years old and I've been with my girlfriend now for about four months, but we've known each other for about a year ever since starting to date her. I've have dealt with nonstop drama and it's getting to the point. I'm seriously considering ending this. Wait, ever since I started dating, I've dealt with nonstop drama.

Yeah, these are easy. Get out of this. You're 20 years old. Run free young man. And don't get into another relationship immediately. Sit down and process and be single and figure out what the fuck that was and how you stepped on that landmine so you don't do it again. Anyway, he goes, this all started when about a month ago we started dating.

She told me she was going to get flown out by this dude to celebrate his birthday. What is she a call girl? I immediately told her that's not happening and freaked out. She told me he's already booked the ticket for her and that he's just a friend. Go fuck yourself. Yeah, go listen to Bismarck key for this. You don't need me. And also, even if he wanted to have sex, he couldn't because of his religion.

Which I immediately called bullshit on. He's a guy and has a dick. All right, good man. You're wise beyond your years. Good for you. I told her if anyone is flying her anywhere, it's me. She then apologized and said I was right and it wouldn't happen again. Bullshit.

She also has basically only all guy friends. Dude, get the fuck out of this thing. And they're all super shifty saying stuff like, when are we going to date? And I want to fuck you. I don't care if you have a boyfriend. Yeah, what are you doing, buddy? Hey, you're 20.

This happens. I have talked to her over and over about this that I don't appreciate that the other guys talked to her like this and she does nothing about it but play it off like it's some sort of joke. But nothing ever changes. She never cuts them off. Yeah. Yeah, dude. If she hasn't already fucked all of those guys,

just get out now before you leave with an STD. The last straw came tonight when she told me that one of the guys said he's going to fly her, show her up and fly here. Oh, sorry, show up and fuck her. When she told me this, I completely lost my shit. Yeah, dude, she's playing you and mentions the guy only for him to say, I'll fly you and your girlfriend out. Then we'll kick your ass and double team your girl.

Then I'll kick your ass and double team your girlfriend. I completely lost my cool with the guy. Guys in my girlfriend for putting up with this shit, putting me in a situation where I have to deal with this. Yeah, dude, this chick is just fucking ridiculous. There's tons of other red flags. Dude, that's the biggest. The fact that she's doing this to you,

she's a garbage human being. She's, I can't even say garbage at this point. She's just super young and maybe she needs some fucking therapy. If she was in her 30s, she's a garbage human being. Anyway, this, come on, Ed. You need to go back to the house and get keys. All right, hang on a second. Oh, it's the love we need, everybody.

Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on. You make me walk back. No, I was going to make you walk back. I'm in the middle of answering one of the easiest questions ever. This guy's in a relationship. Are you a jerk? Yes, I am a jerk. No, she's, this guy, guy's in a relationship with this chick

and she has all these guys like texting her all the time saying, I want to fuck you. I don't care if you have a boyfriend. I'll fly you out. And then she shows them to him. Oh shit, bye. Yes. Oh shit, bye.

Did you hear that? That's exactly what I said. We're long distance, so maybe this is why some of, oh, we're long distance relationships. So maybe this is why some of these problems occur. I'm not sure. I do love this girl and I just am starting to think this isn't worth the drama and hassle anymore.

Would love some advice what you would do in my shoes. Thanks and go fuck yourself. He's 20 years old. Dude, this is the easiest ever kick it to the curb. What say you, Nia? Yeah, I think so. Is this one of these? Well, this is why you need to move to my city

because if you don't, there's all these guys here. Like, is that what this is about? Is this some kind of manipulation thing? Or is this just to make you jealous? Is this to sort of keep you on your toes? Either way, it's a mess. Well, if you have to ask any of those questions, it's time to leave.

Definitely, definitely. Are you almost done? Yes, I am almost done. You know, I got in some good ones on you last week. Yeah, I know. You know people tweet me and tell me that like you're talking shit about me. Like I can't believe what Bill said.

I can't wait for Nia's response. And you know what? That's not fair because I don't even have a chance to defend myself. You just come on here, you talk shit. I'm a part of the podcast sometimes. You know what I mean? And you're not even going to give me the opportunity

to like be a part of the discussion. You're just going to talk shit about me. Maybe this is how I get you on the podcast now. I talk shit. You could just ask me. Well, you got you're always busy with the kids. I know if I talk shit, you think I don't know these fucking racks are going to fucking tech tweet you.

Oh, they racked. Of course they are. And here you are. And here you are on the podcast. You fucking walked right into the trap. So what did you say about me? I'm trying to remember what I was trying to remember what we were arguing about.

Try to remember. No, you can you have a better memory than me. What was it? Because I didn't think I was right, too. Boxes or something stupid. Oh, when I became box boy. Oh, God, here we go. Yeah, boy.

Yeah, defend yourself. Against what exactly? You are a box open. That microphone in my face would defend yourself. Like you're some sort of got your reporter on the street. Is there any truth to the rumors that you wouldn't cut up boxes forcing your husband, Hollywood golden boy Bill Barr to cut them up and throw them away for you?

The fuck is this? Yeah, you got to cut up some boxes sometimes. I have I have other shit that I'm doing. Oh, do you? Oh, yes, I do. And I don't always get to that. And what? I don't have other shit.

Sue me. Sue me. Sue me. I don't have other shit that I'm doing. We both have shit that we're doing. I just don't. I have shit that I'm doing. And when I open a box, I fucking cut it up.

I just don't think that it's productive to pick at each other about the petty things. OK, I think this is a petty thing. So my things are petty. You're trying to make me out to be like some sort of inconsiderate person. And I don't appreciate it. Did you say meow or me out?

Meow. How's it going? We're getting sassy. Me out to be sometimes like this, you know, some sort of attack on my character by going on and on about the boxes. This is an election year. Huh?

There it was. I'll attack your character all I want. Well, you know what, Nia? It's not that you don't cut up the boxes. It's the way you just fucking throw them, you know, or stash them. I don't throw. I don't like open a box.

Just throw it across the floor. That's what it looks like when I walk in there, like you handle this shit. Well, it's not that. And you're such a fucking everything that anyone does is automatically against you. You take shit way too personal. Like I'm just expecting you to take care of everything

that everyone does. You're the dudes. You're the only one I'm talking to. Stop trying to drag invisible people into this shit. But you're sitting here trying to make it seem like I'm trying to get you just like you just take care of it. You're the box boy. When it's like I'm just being careless in the moment

because I'm trying to. All right, let me open this shit. It's usually for the kids. Let me put it away. Careless in the moment means most of the times you cut up the boxes. You're you don't cut up boxes. I do.

And you can ask my mother who watches me cut them up. Lies, lies, lies. Yeah. Ask her tomorrow and see what she says about me cutting up boxes. Ask her. Okay. Why are you acting like you're scaring me?

I'm not. I'm just telling you what it is. And you need to stop taking the shit so personally like I'm trying to come after you or make you my servant. You always do that. Anytime I ask you to do something, anytime you have to step in and do something, you're like why do I always have to do it?

Why me? That is a big heaping pile bullshit. You know what is it? Because you're like I'm Aaron Boyd. I'm Box Boyd. What do I work for you? It's just like everything is after 900 fucking days

and you keep going like oh, I was going to do it. I was going to do it. You need to go on the road because like. I need to go on the road. You took it to there. Yes. You fucking love me, you asshole. You can go home tomorrow.

And you're the only fucking broad out there that I cut up. I cut up your fucking goddamn trash. We've been around each other too much. This pandemic is getting to us, baby. That's bullshit. You really think I'm like treating you like Aaron Boyd just because I don't cut up boxes?

No. The way I have a temper, I have to learn to accept the fact that when you make a sandwich, you're so focused on making the fucking sandwich that I'm going to walk out there two hours later after you did and the mayonnaise jar is going to be open with the top off. The ketchup's going to be over there.

There's going to be a bunch of crumbs. It looks like a fucking eight-year-old made it. You are totally exciting. I am not. Let's talk about the fact. How many glasses of water are around the house at any given time? How many half-cut lemons?

Watch this. Watch this. No, no. You don't interrupt me now. How many half-cut lemons and half-cut tomatoes are just littered on the fucking countertop? How many hoodies and hats are strewn about all over the house?

I don't say anything because it's not that big a fucking deal, okay? All right, now watch this. The whole federal case actually. Watch this. And then you went, I'm not watching anything. Listen to me. Oh my god.

So go on your goddamn podcast and trash me. Those people love me that listen to this podcast. They would never turn against me, okay? Wait a minute. Okay, watch this. That shit about the glasses? You're 100% right. I need to work on that.

And I'm going to do better with the lemons and the tomatoes. Same thing with my hoodies. Why is it so fucking hard for you to do that? All right, fine. You're right about that. Fellas, that is the way it's done. I will do better. People, say it again.

I will do better. Thank you. You know what's actually I really have to admit to though? And it's going to make my whole argument, my whole craziness just really seem like I'm nuts. But after that last argument we had about boxes, I started to walk upstairs and I saw a box that I had just left on the chair after I opened something

and I was like, God damn it. Nia, I'm not asking you to be perfect. I just want an attempt. That's all. I'm a mess, okay? I know. I'm a fucking pain in the ass to live with. Just every once in a while,

if you could just fucking acknowledge one of my fucking complaints without dragging up everything else that I've done for the last two fucking decades you've been with me. If you could just do that. If you could just remain in the moment. That's all.

All right, fine. There you go. Okay, great. See? We're friends. We're good. See people? That's how you have a productive argument.

At some point you got to yell, shut up. Oh, come on, it was funny. It was an off the mic. Off the mic yelling doesn't count. All right, that's the podcast. Go fuck yourselves. Congratulations to the Kansas City Chiefs,

the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Buffalo Bills and unbelievable season for where you guys have been. You're going to be there again. It's going to be great watching you try and topple the new beasts of the AFC, the Kansas City Chiefs. My condolences to Green Bay Packer fans. I know, I mean, you guys are the Yankees of fucking football. So you guys, this isn't something you're building towards.

This is something you guys have always been doing. So I know that was a bitter pill, but that's it. You know what? Your Milwaukee Bucks keep beating my Celtics. So there's that. All right, that's it. Go fuck yourselves and I'll check in on you on Thursday.