Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 1-28-19
Episode Date: January 28, 2019Bill sits down with Josh Adam Meyers to talk about his podcast 'The 500', classic albums, and failed vasectomies. Â Â the 500 with Josh Adam Meyers: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-500-with...-josh-adam-meyers/id1440000749?mt=2
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How's it going?
I'm doing this Sunday night because I'm a busy, freckled beaver this week.
So I actually got a buddy over, going to smoke a cigar with him.
I was like, well, why don't we kill two birds with one stone?
And I'll just have you on the fucking podcast.
The one and only, Josh Adamayas.
Hello, everybody.
How-wa!
I can't do it.
How are you?
How are you?
My voice is like, how are you?
I know.
The voice of Howlin' Hank.
DJ Howlin' Hank.
On efforts for family.
You can officially say that we're back.
We got some funny shit for you this week.
Season four, everybody.
Season four.
You heard me on the radio.
I have a feeling DJ Howlin' Hank will be making many, many more appearances.
I hope so.
I love that guy so much.
It's not really hard for me to play it.
Just play a coke addict DJ.
I mean, that's, you know, just think back into my past.
Well, I thought you were, were you oxy pills?
What were you?
I was, I know, I mean, I mean, I kind of did the whole smorgasbord.
Well, let's get back.
Where are you from?
I'm from Germantown, Maryland, right outside of Washington, D.C.
Okay.
Sports affiliations.
My podcast listeners have to-
Here we go.
All crap teams, except for one of them.
Washington Redskins, Washington Wizards, and the Stanley Cup Champion Washington
Capitals.
I can't believe I get to say that.
It's like the greatest feeling in the world.
And no Orioles, no Nationals.
No, I'm an Orioles and a Nationals fan.
It kind of splits.
I mean, I grew up an Orioles fan, but I loved Brace Harper.
And I really just root for the whole town.
So I'm a diehard Orioles fan, but I'm also going to root for the Nats.
I just want that whole city to win.
Are you old enough to have been a Baltimore Colt fan before they left or no?
I was alive, but I was already Redskins.
I mean, they left to what, 82, 84, something like that?
Something like that, 83, 84, somewhere around there.
And I remember, and this is what sucks, is that I remember just from like,
from like zero to 10, it was just three Super Bowls.
And then at like 11, I think we got our last one, which was in 19-1.
The Redskins, yeah.
The Redskins.
And then I was just like, oh, we're probably going to be in this all the time.
Yeah.
And then nothing.
Well, that's what's going to happen to like the Patriots in a few years.
All these kids who were lucky enough to be born in the 1990s and remember 2000,
the first one, 2000, 2001, you know, it's going to be like, you know, there was,
there was kids born when I was born in 1968.
And then they got to watch Dan Marino.
I mean, I'm just saying, as far as like just being good and competitive,
I was compared to Dan Marino because that guy was the best I ever saw.
Yeah.
Other than Joe Montana.
But even then, I think Dan Marino with Bill Walls, he definitely wins one.
I only remember, I only remember bad knees, Marino.
That's, that's where I was.
Bad back, bad knees.
He's a killer.
Well, just bad everything.
When I got in, he was already in the, in the down trial years.
I always felt with him, he came in and he was with Don Shula and Don Shula like.
It was a man.
Shula was a man.
But by then everybody had caught up with them, stolen all his fucking tricks.
And he was on like his, he was in the final 10 years of going back to like,
like the 19, like fifties.
I want to say he was on the Giants at one point and he was offensive,
a defensive coordinator.
And the other guy was Tom Landry.
Okay.
Those were the two guys or something like that.
I want to know, I always forget who the hell it was.
But anyways, I just remember, you know, they went from Bob greasy to fucking Dan
Marino's and they just kicked our ass for like the first 20 years of me watching
the Patriots.
He just couldn't take it.
And I look at the Dolphins fans now, like they're still waiting for the next Dan
Marino.
Dude, my cousin is the biggest Dolphins fan.
He named his dog Marino.
Like he fucking loves this team so much.
And it was like, I remember the beginning of the season, I was like, dude, they're
looking good.
They're winning some games.
And he's like, they're going to fuck it up.
And then boom, it's just what they finished like seven and nine.
They're a seven and nine team.
I mean, I can't talk.
The Redskins are what, like six and 10.
I gave up.
Once all four of our quarterbacks broke a leg.
I was like, all right.
I was like, we deserve it.
Racist team name.
We can't, you can't be four and 12 with a racist team name.
You got to be 12 and four.
We can't help it.
I will say this though.
I still can't believe in all of this, this fucking hashtag and all this shit.
The fact that they still do the Tomahawk chop all like, I can't believe it.
All of that fucking, it's so fucking bad.
It's so fucking bad.
And they sit there like, it does.
I love when white people justify it.
Like it's literally the people are saying, don't do it.
Yeah, they're like, but we're honoring the heritage.
Like no.
I always compare it.
It's cause we committed genocide.
Who's kidding?
Who against those people?
That would be like if the Germans won and then at the soccer game, everyone was
standing, oh, he may, oh, he may.
You know what's funny too is that, whoa, is old school Hollywood imitating their singing
and all that whole thing on so many fucking levels.
It's just like, dude, what can you just, and they just, they fucking refuse.
And I don't know.
That's why that's, there's like a backlash now on white privilege.
Like there's people going out there and do what?
But just there's white people saying that white privilege doesn't exist, which is fucking.
And then you listen to their stories and all their stories are is basically that they weren't
born rich, but at no point was ever, Hey, I was driving on the street and because I was
white, I got pulled over, tased and then shot to death.
Yeah.
And then the cop got free.
The cop was released.
There's none of that.
There's none of that.
Yeah.
And like, dude, there's, there's like, look, there's to sit there and act like there aren't
privileges.
And everything.
There's all different levels to be in white.
And there's, and there's shit.
That is, if you're just like a regular white guy, shit that you see the private school
white kid doing, you know, that pisses me off.
I mean, I grew up different levels of black people.
You know, there's a hoax.
For sure.
Yeah.
I grew up, I grew up middle class, a little note, lower middle class.
And it's just like, I had that friend that just like, dude, I had a friend who was like
super rich.
His dad worked for the FDA, right?
This kid always had money.
That family always had money.
His dad went into a lone star.
Remember that, that steakhouse where they put like either give you peanuts and then you
just throw the shells on the floor, right?
His dad slipped on the floor, hurt his knee, got like $10 million.
They were already rich.
Like that's, that's the kind of shit that should happen to my dad.
Cause he had to happen to my dad.
I just remember when being in New York city one time and there was this publicist who
fucking snapped or something out on and she was out like, I want to say she was out in
the Hamptons, Long Island and or some somewhere out there.
Okay.
She snapped cause something about some club or a restaurant and she backed into like 17
fucking people drove away.
Oh, that's horrible.
Drove the fuck away.
They got a license plate.
They knew who or she was and the cop showed up and the lawyer was in the driveway, met
the cops and said she'll turn herself in tomorrow morning.
I just remember reading that going like, what the fuck?
How is that possible?
What level is that?
What is that?
Yeah.
But so to sit there and act like, I don't know, like I, it's fucking hilarious.
It is hilarious.
Yeah.
It's ridiculous.
But every, but the thing is back with the Redskins.
I used to work in a warehouse and unloading trucks.
It's just like, I know, but there was no point that anybody ever look at you and like, you
have white skin.
Get out of this neighborhood.
Yeah.
They just let him be.
That's the thing with the Redskins though, is that it's, it's every, every like six years,
a senator or a congressman says, you got to change the name.
And I completely agree.
At this point, I'm like, just change the name.
I can't believe the owner wouldn't do it considering.
I honestly don't notice now because it's just been called that for so fucking long.
But you gotta look at this.
You gotta look at the owner is, for example, we have one of the worst owners in football
because he's like Jerry Jones just doesn't know anything about football.
So he's fucking the team up.
He's causing all these problems, you know, and, and he wants money so bad that you would
think that he would change the name to get all the merchandising money.
Like, dude, that's like another, you know, hundred million dollars worth of shit.
Like if that pays for a new, you know, parking lot, here's an argument that I've been, I've
been, I've been, something that I've been wondering about for a long, for a while now.
And I think I kind of understand it where in every sport, like I like major league baseball,
I thought they counted World Series titles back to the 18 80s, but the first one they
counted was 1903, which I think was the Boston Red Sox.
I literally looked it up last week.
I already forget, but like they come though all the way back to fucking 1903.
All right.
When it was a segregated league, all of this shit, right?
Like, you know, crazy leg Johnson.
It was fucking 10.
I loved him.
10 teams or whatever.
Right.
Stanley Cupcos were about that far back NBA titles goes back to the 1940s and even the
Lakers count an NBL title.
They somehow won an N and a title in the NBL and that was counted as a fucking NBA title.
Was that when they were the Minneapolis Lakers?
Yeah.
They're first of, of they, they won an NBL and then they won four NBA titles in Minneapolis.
And, uh, but they, they, for some reason count that one, but Super Bowls, they only
started in 1968 and what kills me.
Oh, I saw you post something about this.
Yeah.
It's just like, so you're telling me and people are saying, because it's, I guess because
they call it a merger, but it was like the AFL came in.
It was like the XFL or the USFL or the world football league.
It was just this other competing football league and the NFL laughs going near some fucking,
you know, piece of shit league, but it was early enough on, I guess where they, you know,
and they made enough moves and had enough money or whatever.
And then with the style that they played that they started to compete with them.
And then they played them in the first two games, Super Bowl one and two, which were
called NFL AFL championship game.
And they got the shit kicked out of them because they weren't as good a league.
And then, then the AFL one in Super Bowl three, which was still not called a Super Bowl.
It was still the AFL NFL championship.
All right.
Yeah.
So then after that, they agreed to merge all the owners agreed in the AFL to merge with
the NFL.
Al Davis was the only one he wanted to put the NFL out of business because he was fucking
Al Davis.
Which is why, which is why I gotta love him.
Right.
So, and then at that point they just go, all right.
So those first three games against the AFL NFL, that's when we're going to start, I guess
because they called it a merger rather than, but I mean, like the ABA in a way merged with
the NBA.
And they still count all that shit back to the 1940s.
They only took some teams.
They only took some teams from the ABA.
They didn't take everybody.
Okay.
But still, but still, it was, it was a competing league that was fucking with their numbers
and they had a more exciting game just like the AFL.
And then in the end, the NBA at, you know, it was losing too many players to it.
Same way was the NFL at some point.
It's like, can't beat him, join him.
And then they came together, but they still count all those Celtics championships in the
60s and all that.
So it's like, you're telling me that Johnny Unite, John Unites, I got to look at him in
a certain way or in all of the, in half of those fucking teams, the Browns, the Rams,
the Bears, the Packers, the Giants, all of those fucking teams were in the NFL, playing
each other.
Sure.
There was, it was actually in a way you could say, you know, I guess you can't say it was
more talent than, but I'm just saying like, I don't, I don't get why they just wipe that
away.
They don't fucking talk about it at all.
And that the Steelers with six fucking champ in 2018, six championships.
Yeah.
Like it's so fucking ridiculous that, that the Patriots, right?
If we win Sunday, which would be next Sunday, which would be fucking awesome.
We would be tied for the most championships one in NFL history.
And we've got our first one fucking 17 years ago.
That doesn't, that doesn't make, and you're, that doesn't make any fucking sense.
That's stupid.
I see where you're coming from, but at the same time, you know, we're going by Super
Bowl one.
I think, listen, I'm not a Patriots fan.
I think they have in the, in the, since they started winning them and what 2001, was that
the first one?
Yeah.
I mean, they're, they're definitely one season.
They're definitely, you know, one of the strongest team, but all the people that want
to fight and put up the fight about saying that, you know, well, I saw that thing that
guy posted the Green Bay has like, we've got like 14 or whatever.
But here's Green Bay though.
Green Bay's won four Super Bowls and they won like fucking 11 NFL titles.
They've been winning the entire fucking time.
Yeah, but they just haven't won in a minute.
I mean, how long has it been since Green Bay's won?
2005?
Something like that?
No, like nine or 10 or something.
Okay.
You're right.
Yeah.
But I'm not talking about that.
Well, then why would you fucking count the Broncos having won it in 20 years?
So what?
Those theirs don't count.
No, they, no, no, they count.
I'm saying they count, but I just thought you were getting mad about somebody posting
that Green Bay had X amount because they were included in the earlier ones.
No, that's my argument.
They should keep those.
Yeah.
But those should fucking count.
If the fucking Montreal Canadians can count when they fucking beat somebody playing on
a pond.
Oh, I didn't know which angle you were going with.
I thought you were going against.
I thought you were saying to fuck those people for it.
Okay, then I love the history of the game.
The NFL has been the NFL and a bunch of fucking leagues have tried to, to, to compete with
them.
They've never, they've never been able to.
The best you ever had was the AFL merged with them, but it was still called the NFL.
It wasn't called the AFL.
It wasn't called the NFL slash AFL like serious XM or whatever.
Right.
Yeah.
It was called the fucking NFL.
You joined the NFL.
Yeah.
So those other championships were NFL championships because now you call it the fucking Super Bowl.
Sure.
It was still the two best teams and those, you know, before the AFL existed, those were
the two fucking best teams up with that fucking classic Giants Colts game played in fucking
Yankee stadium.
The winner of that it can't, can't fucking walk up to somebody who won Super Bowl four
and said, I know what that feels like.
They know exactly what it feels.
A lot of people are dying off, but yeah, they know what it feels like a hundred percent.
That's a great point.
They are dying.
I don't know.
I, I count them.
I, the Green Bay Packers are the fucking New York Yankees.
And I think the Giants are next and that's the way it should be.
Did I think it was, well, the Redskins are up there.
The Redskins have, we have three of three.
And then we had, I think we had like four of the world championship ones too.
All right.
I'm going to give you some trivia.
Where did the Rams first start at?
Uh, in the city.
St. Louis?
No.
No.
Cause I know it was with Los Angeles.
I don't fucking know.
Jesus Christ.
You know, I love, you just sounded like me in math class a long time ago.
That's what I love about you.
Is that you?
I know, I know sports, but dude, you know fucking stuff.
You know fucking sports.
Like you like, I can imagine.
I know up to a point because I used, I used to know fucking everybody in the league.
And I just don't have time anymore.
So I, I don't know, but they started off in Cleveland and I've never understood why they
were called the Rams.
I don't know that there was any Rams in there.
Um, all right, let's, let's look up.
What am I looking at?
Washington Redskins.
What's your fight song?
Hail to the Redskins.
Hail victory.
Braves on the war path.
Fight for old DC.
Oh, there you go.
And then it goes into some weird thing.
Running dust and jumping.
There's a lot more.
Steve, a double Duba.
Let the point so far.
All right.
Here you go.
NFL championships.
Pre 1970 merger.
You got two.
All right.
Five's pretty good.
I'll take it.
Yeah.
So you got five.
So right now it's for the way I look at it.
You're tired with the Patriots.
We got five Super Bowls.
You got, you got five champion.
We got, we have five championships.
I wish everybody thought like you.
Cause a lot of people don't do a lot of people.
You fucking people have ever said that.
I completely agree with what you're saying.
If the, if the one before it was the official Super Bowl, it's still a championship.
Unfortunately, a lot of those people have died.
Yeah.
Who would care?
I guess.
Let's see here.
Yeah.
All right.
League championships.
All right.
The NFL champ.
Pre 1970s.
The Giants won four.
So they've won four NFL titles and they won four Super Bowl titles.
You go to the stadiums, they're nowhere to be found.
They're not listed.
It's like it never fucking happened.
I don't, I don't see the angle you're coming with right now.
And I respect the, what you're saying, dude, a hundred percent.
That's not fair.
I'm not saying it's not fair.
Well, no, it's just, it's not fair.
I'm just, I'm just asking why.
Why won't you buy the championships?
Dude, league championship.
Chicago Bears.
Okay.
They won fucking nine 19, 21, 19, 32, 33, 40, 41, 43, 46, 1963.
And then they won a Super Bowl 1985.
And all they have is one fucking banner hall hanging over their stadium.
Check one of the scores when they beat the Redskins in one of those league championships.
It's like, it's like crazy fucking lopsided.
Like 70 to 78.
I'm not mistaken.
So I don't know a lot about sports, about facts, but I do know that that is right.
All right.
Let's look up the Los Angeles Rams.
All right.
Are you nervous?
Are you nervous about Sunday?
Oh yeah.
Always.
I'll tell you what's the funniest thing.
My Verzi texted me and he's like, dude, Todd Gurley.
Is it Todd Gurley?
Todd Gurley.
Yeah.
He goes, he's hurt.
And in my head, I'm like, dude, there's no way to stand up comedians know the injury
status of the key running back for the Rams.
If I got a guy on the inside.
Yeah.
Who's your guy on the inside?
ESPN.com.
This is my, if he was really fucking hurt, we wouldn't know.
They would keep that under wraps.
But he was hurt in the last game.
I saw him on the bike for a little bit.
I know, but here's the thing.
Everybody's hurt this time of year.
They all said he's got two fucking weeks to recover.
He's going to fucking play.
If they're leaking it out that he's hurt, that means he's way better than they thought
he was going to be.
Cause that's just good.
Oh, he's hurt.
But they know Belichick is going to be like, well, I guess we don't have to prepare for
Todd Gurley.
But it was just funny.
Oh no, he showed up.
Yeah.
I felt championships pre 1970.
The Rams, they won in 45 and 51 and then they won in 1999 and they were the York Cleveland
Rams from 1936 to 1942.
They took 43 off to finish off the Germans in the Japanese 1944 1945.
That was the last year.
And then they moved to Los Angeles.
They stayed there till 94 came back to 2016, which brings me to something I was making fun
of and a lot.
Did you see, do you watch the Saints Rams game?
All right.
Everybody thought the worst fucking thing in that was that fucking helmet to helmet, no
pass interference call.
The worst thing in that game was when they cut to the stands after the Rams one and you
saw those guys in the Rams jerseys in their twenties, maybe early thirties crying.
I saw that.
Yes, I didn't see that.
Girlfriends were trying to comfort them.
It's just like, buddy, you were fucking two years old when they moved away.
Like what are you doing here?
You've been waiting since 2016.
It's just, listen, you're fucking crying.
Bill, when you, because you remember how what happened when we watched, because you watched
the Caps game with me when they won the cup or you were on my computer.
I was in London.
You were in London, but I was FaceTiming you so you could watch the game.
Everybody was asleep and I was pitch black and I was in the bathroom of my hotel.
My wife and daughter were sound asleep and I was going, dude, I'm so happy for you.
I was sitting there going like, I did.
Congratulations.
I was FaceTiming with you and you had your fucking TV on.
But you were like, congratulations, buddy.
My wife probably thought I was the greatest feeling in the world.
Trust me.
I know it.
But my wife probably thought I was in there talking to a hooker.
Okay, everybody's asleep.
Oh man, it's so beautiful.
It's so beautiful.
But what was, but what was so funny is if you would have seen me and I mean, like I remember
in 91 with the Redskins one, but I remember the day after because my mom was watching
the game and then the, uh, my mom made a bunch of, of her famous Super Bowl chili and I ate
a bunch of it and then I fell asleep in a laundry basket.
Uh, I was 11 and then I didn't get another championship until this Caps won and we were
watching it together and you were facing the screen and I remember I was just like
cheering as the clock ran down and then the, remember it stopped for a second.
There was like a stop at your play at like 0.06 seconds.
So I was screaming and then I got quiet and then they win the game and everybody's
running on the ice and I'm just dead silent.
I thought I was like, am I dead inside?
What is wrong with me?
And then they brought the cup out and dude, I just started weeping, just weeping
dude.
Just like, why does it matter so much?
It's so super.
It's everything.
It's just all the, it's all, dude, it's everything.
It's all the, it's all the, it's all the, you know, the times that they, they chunked
it before when they were supposed to win and all the times that, you know, they, they,
they just, you put so much into it and to finally get it just was so sweet, man.
And it was like, I started thinking about like, this is, I'm going to go really like
John Cougar melon camp here.
But like, I thought about all like the middle class people that live in the Washington DC
area that work these dead end jobs.
And then they just, they get that championship because they want it so bad.
And that, that team, whether it's the Redskins or the Cavs or whoever, it's like, that's
what they have to help them escape.
And so I, you know, I went full spring senior team raised the cup is just like, I, I, I
kind of was just like, I don't think I'm ever going to see the Bruins do it.
And when they finally did it, I watched them from 1980 to 2011.
That's how long it took me to what's that 10, 20, 31 years.
I watched them.
And so from age 12 to what is that 43, when they finally, they finally did it.
And I was, I told this story before I was at the Chicago theater on Jim Norton's tour
with Jim Brewer, David Tello, myself on this tour called the anti-social tour.
And I watched the first period and a half, then I went on stage and then when I got off
stage, I watched the final seven minutes upstairs in one of those, the green room or
something like that.
And I remember being up there by myself because none of them cared because it wasn't their
team.
And the show ended and they went out to do the meet and greet.
And I stayed up there and there was like three minutes left and they scored a goal or it's
just not enough time for the other team to come back for Vancouver.
And I was by myself and I went up like nine octaves.
I was like, oh my God, they're going to do it.
And all I wanted to see, they were like, come on, you got to come down from meet and greet.
People were saying, where the fuck are you?
Calling you a phony for not.
I was like, wait a minute.
I just had to see them lift it up.
I told my wife to tape it.
I knew she was taping it.
And just when I saw Zidane, I'll just lift it.
I'm just going, yeah.
Yeah, dude.
Dude, that was 31 years just coming out of you.
Just all those years of not being able to get past the Canadians, not being able to win
in the forum.
Yeah, man.
Fucking getting past the Canadians and then run into those fucking Gretzky Edmonton Oilers
and the Marc Messier Edmonton Oilers.
And just, and then just, you know, Neely's getting his fucking leg taken out, you know,
and Bork having to go somewhere else to win a cop.
And it just fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck the lockout.
Oh yeah.
All of that.
It's just everything.
It did.
It all just goes through your head and then bam.
It's like, you literally feel like they're good.
They're just going to like, look at, look at your television screen and go, all right,
do you want to hold it up?
And you can just like grab it.
It's just such an incredible feeling.
I have such respect for that trophy.
I would never touch it.
I wouldn't even touch it.
Why?
Because I'm not, because you should be on a team that fucking won.
Players who play in the league won't even touch it unless they want it.
So me, some fucking asshole.
Just walk up.
Fucking lift it up and drink it.
They're not going to let you lift it up, dude.
They might let you get like a bomb on it, but that's about it.
I respect that.
I've seen pictures of guys I know that no players and shit and they're like holding it with
them like, what the fuck are you doing with your hands on that?
I respect that.
No, I respect that.
I respect that.
I respect that.
You, you appreciate it.
Back to back.
Back to back with the green beret that saw action and you got your face all painted too.
Like you did something.
You're paintballing with your paintball gun.
I watched you on CNN.
Anyways, I got a little bit of advertising here.
I have to read.
Let me, let me see here.
What do you got?
What the fuck?
This, this always happens.
George Santa Myers.
Why does this always happen?
Okay.
Oh, 1 800 flowers.
Valentine's Day is coming up there, buddy.
By now, most of us have started racking our brains about what Valentine's gift is truly
going to make her day special.
Dude, fuck that.
Any woman out there fucking racking their brains about what kind of fucking stupid thing they're
going to get you.
No, you know what guys should do?
We should get into some, what fucking thing could you pressure them?
We'd be funny like ladies, you know, Valentine's Day, what kind of flat screen TV is thinking
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Alrighty.
Hey, you have a podcast.
I do.
You know what's funny?
I was watching you read that and like you just keep going when you make the mistake.
And like when I try to tape stuff like that, if I like, if I fuck up at all, I just like
I'm like, God damn it.
And I just like have to start over.
It's just seeing you do it so effortlessly.
Yeah, perfectionist.
Well, you're so comfortable doing it.
Well, I do I've established right out of the gate that I'm a moron.
Yeah, I got out in front of it.
Yeah.
I was like Bill Clinton saw what happened to Gary Hart and you just got out in front
of it.
They were just like, did you?
He's like, I fucked him all.
And then he fucking, you know, yeah, but then he went back to his old ways.
I did not have sex with that woman.
That's a good Clinton.
Dude.
And then if I said, if I went, I, I do not have problems reading out loud.
Like that would be the end.
I would get impeached.
Sure.
I'd be, you know, I wouldn't leave just like him.
I need to leave my flaws in.
That's what it taught me to do.
Yeah.
I have a podcast.
I love it.
Bill, I'm telling you, I love this and more than 500.
The 500.
It's about stock car racing.
It is not about that.
It is about the 500 greatest albums of all time.
I'm going through Rolling Stone magazine's list of the 500 greatest albums, starting
at 500, working my way down to one.
Each week I sit down with a comic actor or musician now, you know, and I give them a
week with the record and then I break the record down and we sit down and talk about
it.
His kiss.
Got one in the top five.
We did.
I just did.
I just did with Jeff Ross.
Kiss destroyer.
I was going to say, you know, you should, you could have got Steven Adler.
Oh, I mean, I've got, I would love to get Steven, but dude, I love this so much, man.
Like cause it's not just being able to sit down and talk with my buddies about the album
and ask them questions around like the meanings of the songs and the facts from the record.
But dude, since I've started doing this, like I have listened to music that I thought I
would never listen to, didn't even know about.
And it's like touching me and it's just so incredible.
Right now I'm listening to Steve Earl, guitar town.
You ever heard of him?
Oh, this guy is funny.
He's like, he's like the key.
This is like his born in the USA, but country record.
Dude, I never listened to country.
I fucking love this record, dude.
When did it come out 1985?
And he has a song called guitar town and it's, it's just, it's just incredible.
I mean, well, especially once, you know, the history of this guy and like how he dropped
out of school and then went to Nashville, like, you know, to, to find towns, Van Zandt
and like was writing songs for people.
And then the record company was like, all right, well, we want you to make a record.
And he was like, all right, and he's, he just sat down and wrote the first song and the
last song and then just the whole album came together.
But it's like, that's what I love.
How many albums does he have?
Oh, he's got a shitload.
Oh, does he?
But I haven't listened to anything else.
So he must be real quality cause I don't know who he is.
You know what I mean?
Cause I don't, I, I figured like, if I know who a country person is for the most part,
they suck because it's going to be like, you just know, like the pop kind of, you know,
you don't know.
It's like, you know, like if, if, if you were, I don't know, if somebody say, hey, name
a speed metal metal band, everybody would know.
You'd say motorcycle.
That's right.
You would say motorcycle.
Motorcycle.
No, this is, this is the thing.
The guy could have been like enormous, but then he developed like a drug problem and
then kind of fell off.
And now he actually still makes music, but country, the country fan base doesn't really
fuck with him anymore because he leans very left.
And I was actually watching a documentary of his cause I'm getting ready to record the
episode with Tom Everett Scott from that thing you do.
He played the drummer.
When he came and did it at the jam.
And you look at the YouTube comments, you know, of this documentary and it's like, I
used to like his music, but he's a fucking stupid leftist libertard.
And it's just like, because they can't accept that, you know, you can play country music,
but still lean towards, but it's also why I think, you know, you shouldn't be constantly
putting out your political opinions like, listen, I, I just completely, I completely
agree with that.
People, you know, the white privilege thing I like, this is, I make fun of feminists and
shit.
I try to be like even handed or whatever.
But you know, all you do is just like, nobody, all you do is get people who agree with you
to agree with you.
And then people who don't agree with you to now hate you and not want to watch something
that you do because they can't separate the two.
Like I can stay at a fucking Trump hotel and not like Donald Trump.
A lot of people can't get past that because in their minds, the people who run the Sheridan,
who were also billionaires for some reason, didn't vote for Donald Trump.
Yeah, they're all, they're all the same fucking people.
100%.
Yeah, but not to mention like, it's just, they're just paying for his name outside the
thing.
It's not like.
And it's, I've been in a Trump hotel.
They're extremely nice.
Oh, they're incredible.
They're incredible.
Yeah.
I said nice.
I mean, everybody knew what I meant.
You have to one up me and say incredible.
No, it was incredible.
I've only stayed at one.
It's fucking.
It's fantastic.
Like that one up and incredible.
What this guy should be doing.
Fuck.
Yeah, dude.
Just stick to hotels.
If his presidency was as competent as his fucking hotel, I mean, this, this, we would
be back.
He wouldn't make it great again.
If his tax cuts were as good as his bath towels, I mean, come the fuck.
You know, I was making fun of the other day, somebody said, you know, like there was some,
I guess there was some sort of taxing out there if you make $11 million or more and
people make $11 million or more were complaining.
Oh, yeah.
So somebody had tweeted that, you know, hey, you know, there's fucking bullshit.
Just pay your fair share.
Someone makes $11 million a year doesn't work any harder than somebody who makes 20 grand
a year.
And I was fucking dying laughing.
I was like, oh, yeah, they do.
Yeah, they do.
Yeah, they do.
You wonder why a guy making $11 million is getting a fucking divorce is because he never
sees his wife.
That's true.
That's why he doesn't see his kids.
Has a pool.
Never been in it.
And it's just like, yeah, there's this 24 fucking seven.
I've made 20 grand a year.
You know what's great?
It's the second the fucking whistle blows.
You don't even think about that job.
But what's what I think nobody calls you up, hey, Bill, tomorrow when you unload the boxes,
could you maybe do it?
We need to get a fucking conference call on how you unload the fucking truck.
It's just because people don't think that people think of like when you think somebody
makes 20 million a year, like we just know shit from like Falcon crest and dynasty, all
those shows and they're like, they don't do anything to hang out at country clubs and
they piss on us 20,000ers and you have petty, petty fights with people within your family.
Yeah, that's all they do.
Like nobody sees them like, you know, in the office from, you know, from six a.m. until
like three a.m. and then they go home like walking to their kid's room, the kid's sleeping.
They should a single teardrop falls and then they go bang the maid and go to sleep.
That's kind of why that's what I assume happens.
I have no idea.
I grew up lower middle class.
But I love, I, what I love about this podcast is that I would do this if nobody was listening
because I wanted to listen to, to these albums and I started to, I was just gonna, I wanted
to feel inspired.
I think I was just musically tapped out and, and I was like, all right, I'm going to listen
to an album a day over 500 days and I started posting about it.
And when I got to like 498, which was like on the third day, Jim Jefferies reached out
to me.
He's like, dude, he's like that stone roses record is one of my favorite records.
He's like, oh, the stories that I think of when I hear that music.
And then it like hit me.
And I was like, that's the podcast I've been waiting to do is a great voice.
He can sing, he's incredible voice.
But he came on and he did, and he did that episode and that's basically what it is.
It's like, you know, we're going to go through these great records and we're going to talk
about them.
We're going to, I'm going to, I'm going to ask you need more than a day.
No, I give them a week.
He just pointed right at me.
No, a week.
I give you a week.
Yeah.
Well, you did it.
You did.
But I thought you only took a day to listen to it because you're so busy because you're
making $12 million.
So you're out.
I'm making $11 million and $1 a year, 11 million and one.
So I was the one who complained.
I can tell it was you.
It was.
So, but what it is is like, I give every comic or actor, whoever it's going to be a week
with the record and then I break the album down and like ask them questions about their
life using the meaning of the songs, the facts from the record.
So, so the album is really just like the celery and the carrots and the onions of the soup.
But it's really just, you know, the basis for me to have a really, you know, funny or
deep or whatever the fuck it is.
It's just a good conversation.
When you run out of those albums over that, no, I know how you do it.
What do I do next?
You do the 500 albums that should have been in the top 500.
That'll be in 9.6 one years and that's not a bad idea.
But I might just be, you know, I think I'm going to retire it on May 31st, 2028.
Oh, that's what we're going to have.
My goal is on the final episode to have Oprah.
I don't know why, but it's just, it's my white whale.
What's the number one?
Washington Pepper is a Lonely Hearts Club band.
Then it's, then it goes to number one album, number one, then, then number two is Pet Sounds
and then number three, I think is Revolver.
This is white rock.
The number one white rock in the top 10, no, Marvin Gaye is in the top 10.
Marvin Gaye is number six.
Marvin Gaye, what's going on?
But it's, it's all over the place.
The like album 500 was Alcaste, Queminine and then 499.
What they're probably saying is because the Beatles, who really went rogue and started
their own Beatles were essentially a boy band.
And then they, that's, yeah.
And then they took control of their careers with a lot of people because the Beatles now
get a ton of shit by people being like, you know, like they, there's like people who think
they stink.
Like I've, I've listened to who thinks the Beatles stink?
Dumb people.
Well, they're, they're dumb.
Yeah.
I'm not saying you can't be into them.
They don't move you or whatever.
I mean, it's been a long time.
That's, that's, that's like saying Count Basie stakes or something like, no, it's just like,
no, yeah.
They don't, that's the thing is that somebody like my age, I'm 39, like I, I, you know,
was born in 79.
So I wasn't really alive during the Beatles era.
And from what I've been told and everything I've read, like there will never be an artist
as big as the Beatles were.
Like they were enormous.
Like we can't even, what it was was they broke out of what usually binds you and they took
control of their career and started their own label.
And then when they should have fizzled out, they made this left turn where they reinvented
themselves, you know, when they started doing drugs and grew their hair and all that shit
and rubber soul.
And then, yeah, and revolver and all that stuff.
And then when that kind of went to, they were, now what the fuck do we do?
It's like, all right, let's just play characters.
Now we'll be these, these guys, how would these guys do that?
So during that time, Marvin Gaye, I think he was stuck in the Motown shit and he's
got to sing what they're writing for him.
And by the seventies, you know, he was doing what they did as far as he kind of broke away.
It's like, well, I want to sing about what I'm thinking about rather than doing my version
of she loves you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, he's doing like her to through the grapevine and all that stuff, which I still love all
the songs.
But then he wanted to go like deeper.
So maybe they think that that's cause.
Well, Sergeant Pepper, I was, I think what's going on is a better record than Sergeant
Pepper.
Yeah.
I mean, it's, listen, the, all of these, all of this whole list is completely, you
know, yeah, it's, it's, it's all over the, it's designed to do this.
It's, it's, there's your, you got like, because of the way they made it, because I've already
had this discussion with people is like, 20 years ago today, Sergeant Pepper dropped the
bed to play, let it go in and out of style, got to skip a lot, but down to down to you.
The one and only Billy, she is.
Yeah.
Ski, but deeper, ski, but do, but do something like that.
One of the best moments we've had on the jam is when Jim Jefferies sang that first time
he did it.
He did Sergeant Pepper and then into with a little help from my friends and he was wearing
a jacket that he bought at John Var Vados, that the only reason he bought it's the gaudiest,
like most expensive, weirdest jacket you've ever seen in your life and it costs like $10,000.
And he only bought it because he was at this John Var Vados like event and he put it on
to laugh about it.
And then Ringo Star walked by and went, you look good in that.
So he was like, well, I got to buy it now.
I mean, if a beetle tells you you look good in something, it's like, you got to fucking
up.
Get the fuck up.
Ringo Star was there.
Ringo's always at like Var Vados events.
He wears all that like interview with the vampire clothing.
Yeah.
It wasn't an event.
It wasn't a store.
Not it did.
No, no.
So it was an event.
I spaced halfway through the okay, but it's great.
It's great.
So what I'm saying is, is that, you know, Sergeant Pepper was this huge thing for the
Beatles because what was the coat?
What did it have on?
Oh my God.
I'll send you a picture of the story.
It was like an alligator gold style, like, like rock jack.
I don't even know what you'd call it.
Just like a piece of that.
If he buys it, was it a Beatles coat?
No, it was just a John Marvado.
He was, he was seriously saying he looked good in that fucking coat.
He was just saying to John, he was saying to Jim that you look good in it.
And so he told him, you know, he's like, you look good.
So Jim bought it.
That's the story.
It was boring the second time.
It was interesting.
The first time when you spaced out, but everybody's laughing that, you know, I'm not fucking
listening to problem.
We're not paying attention or whatever.
You didn't think that when I sang Johnny Paycheck, take this job and
take this job and shove it, I'm a demon, I'm a demon new.
What Josh has been trying to get me to do.
You're going to do it.
He wants you.
Motherfucker.
You are going to do this.
He wants me to get a brown curly wig, go out on stage is Don Henley.
And then he wants me to play drums and sing Hotel California.
I'm a duck.
There's a highway.
Yeah.
I can't sing dude.
You can.
I'm going to help you.
I'm going to help you.
And the crowd's going to help you.
So everybody knows, because Bill's talked about it.
I do a show called the goddamn comedy jam where comedians do stand up.
They tell a story about a song and then they sing it.
Bill has done it.
You've done it more than fucking like anybody.
Nobody counts it because it was pre the NFL AFL murder show.
They don't call back.
But we had my birthday coming up and I asked you, I was like, could you please do that
and you said, I'm going to do it.
And then you called me and you give me one of your, I've gotten this call a few times
where it's like, Josh, dude, I got too much shit going on.
I can't learn this fucking song.
Don't make me learn this fucking song.
I can play the song, but the fact that I have to sing along with it and I can't sing.
But you, you understand that's a song that's so popular.
The second you start playing it, the whole audience is going to fucking join in with
you and then you can just kind of mimic it and, and then I'll be singing in the bass
player will be singing.
I mean, I'll need like all the fucking lyrics in front of me like it's, it's going to be
a shit show.
I think I could do it.
I think, you know, I can make that happen.
We listen.
There's one in March.
I got one coming up March 20th.
We haven't done one in a while.
Yeah, dude.
Like my schedule doesn't open up again until fucking April.
Like I'm just, I'm straight.
I don't want the fuck happened, dude.
I got in this business to not work and now we're doing, we're doing efforts for family.
Man, I gotta be cannot wait, right in shit.
We're already up to episode three.
We're cruising.
That's great.
Yeah.
We're cruising, but I mean, yeah, it takes a lot, a lot of time.
All right.
Let's get into some point.
I will sing hotel California.
I just wanted you to do that one part where it's like, boom, boom, boom.
Yeah.
On the Tim Bali.
All right.
Body shaming.
We got people right in and then they, for some reason they wanted advice.
I know this goes down.
All right.
Body shaming.
Yo, Billy Brown shirt.
I don't know what Brown shirt means.
It wasn't that the people is sympathetic to fucking Hitler.
I have no idea.
What brown shirts, what brown shirts?
Wait a minute.
I got to look at it.
You got to Google it.
That's something political.
Maybe they just saw you in a picture that you posted in a brown shirt and they are,
they're just rhyming it.
Brown shirt.
Dude, they've said so many weird things like Billy elbows or Billy Dingledong.
Yeah.
So they just made it up.
No.
Brown shirts political.
Nazi parties, original parliamentary play a significant role in Adolf Hitler's rise
to power.
Oh, I guess all he needed was brown shirts.
See, that's what the internet's stupid because I just, I just fucking grazed over all that
grazed, breezed, grazed.
All right.
Yo, Billy Brown shirt.
I vomited a little of my mouth halfway through your tirade against fat cunts.
I don't remember doing this.
Those who don't conform to your body dysmorphic ideal should get therapy and sort out their
lives.
Did I say that?
Guys, you have to understand something like I have to do an hour usually by myself and
whatever topic comes up, I have to destroy it because I'm trying to make you laugh.
Anyways, I haven't heard anything less healthy come out of your mouth for some time.
All right.
You know something dude?
All the, I vomited a little bit in my life.
The fact that I'm supposed to literally take what you're saying seriously and you're speaking
in sound bites.
Let me guess, then did you shake your head before you rolled on the floor laughing your
ass off?
Anyways, if my partner thought my weight was a deal breaker, I'd thank her for the honest
glimpse into her vacant prison soul and abandoned her in a heartbeat.
No, you wouldn't.
You overly sensitive jackass in a heartbeat to the Greyhound inspired Instagram influencers
and consumer program.
Nealists, you seem to champion diversity is not a mental illness, but body shaming is
God.
Yeah.
Wow.
I gotta, I gotta, I gotta like that's, that's worded so much in that speak that I don't even
believe that that's true.
No, they're just throwing buzzwords together.
Brown shirt, all of that type of stuff.
Oh, now I see why they call you Billy Brown shirt.
Like I'm a man.
They're mad at you.
Yeah.
They're mad at you.
No, cause what it was, was there was a guy who was with some chicks.
She had a little meter and a bones, whatever.
And he was, went into it thinking I should probably fucking lose it eventually.
I don't know why I thought that people tend to just get fatter.
Yeah.
Yeah.
People do tend to age.
They'd be like, this guy has a little gray hair.
Maybe it's going to turn brown.
No, it's going to fuck.
It's going to get more gray.
Yes.
So what happens is, but she was putting it on at what he considered to be an alarming
rate.
So he wanted to stay with her, but he needed to know how to approach to ask her in a polite
way to stay in shape.
Well, here's what all these, or not least gain way, here's what all these proud fat
people are not doing.
They're killing themselves.
So if somebody does an intervention and then the thing about fatties is they'll fucking
sit there and I'll talk about how addiction, food addiction and all that is no different
than drug addiction.
I completely agree with you.
I completely agree with you.
You have an intervention with people to be like, you're killing yourself with this heroin.
So I have a friend.
For some reason with big max, you can't fucking be like, Hey, why don't you lay off your fucking
chicken tenders there?
So I have a friend that just had a kid, my buddy, and he was, he lost a little bit of
weight because he had prediabetes, but he's putting it back on again.
And like we had a thing tonight.
And I was like, I was like, Hey man, like you, you know, you look like you're putting
on more weight.
And he goes, Yeah, you know, it's just the stress and blah, blah, blah.
I'm like, I know, but you know, we're celebrating your kid's birthday.
It's just, you should just, you know, and he, and he wants to it.
It's like that by saying that it's just that reality check just to let him know.
I'm not shaming him, but I don't think he's shaming his girlfriend either that, that,
you know, that dude that wrote in.
So it's, it's just kind of like, Hey, you know, it's like you said, it's health.
You know, it's, you gotta, you gotta stop, you know, yeah, fucking just, you gotta be
exercise.
If you want to live, you gotta exercise and take care of yourself.
What you eat is fuel.
It doesn't need to be delicious every time.
I'm not gonna say his name, but a guy I knew a couple of years ago, yeah.
The last time I saw him, I saw him sit down, I go, this guy does not look good.
And he was not eating healthy food and he fucking dead a month later.
Fuck.
Yeah.
Dude.
And it's just like, but you're not supposed to say something.
If somebody was addicted to heroin and I got a temper and shit, my wife can step in
on that, but there's something about like, you know, being fat.
These people are just like, no man, I'm a fucking eight.
You've just been convinced by, like they take it like you're saying they're not beautiful
people.
It's like, you know, if I just thought you were just some fat shit, you know, I don't
know.
It wasn't my fucking idea either, man.
So yeah.
Yeah.
You can go fuck yourself with all your stupid, like that all, all of that.
So you want to talk about brown shirt, the way this whole thing is written.
This is the kind of person that tries to make you lose your job.
A million percent.
They're very active on Yelp.
Yeah.
All right.
NFL titles.
Hey, pasty pigs being pigskin professor.
You've asked about Super Bowl titles versus NFL champions.
Oh, great.
Maybe this person has the solution.
The issue here is not the answer.
It's the question.
If someone asks which team have never won a Super Bowl, it has a different answer than
if someone asks which team has never won an NFL championship, even a complicated more,
you could ask who's never won a league championship, which also includes AFL championships and
other leagues.
All right.
I understand all of this.
For official NFL champions from 1920 to 1932, there was no championship game.
The championship champion was decided by the best record only.
Okay.
Now, none of this is answering my question.
That's like back in the day when baseball, all those World Series that they count, you
know, you know, winning the pennant was back in the year, back in the day.
You had the end of the regular season.
If you had the best record in the American League, you won the pennant.
There was no playoff.
Yeah.
And then you went to the championship.
You went to the World Series.
Yeah.
So all those years, the Yankees won all those fucking titles.
They had one playoff series to win.
It wasn't this divisional.
It wasn't three rounds of playoffs, which people have to do now.
Were they doing, but were they doing when they got to that World Series was how many
games was it?
Was it five?
That was seven.
That was seven games.
1900s, where it was best, it was best five out of nine.
That's five out of nine.
Yeah.
Fuck.
Dude, that would go into like December if they did that now.
Like, I think the Red Sox, 1903, we won that World Series five games to three.
Game eight, man.
It's game eight coming to your house for game eight.
Um, anyways, from 1933 to 1969, there was a championship game and the winner of that
was the NFL champion.
From 1966 on that champion went on to play in the Super Bowl and the winner was called
the world champion.
That's not true.
66, 67, 68, the end of those seasons or whatever those are, 66, 67, 68, 69, whatever it was,
those first three against the AFL was called the AFL NFL title was not called the Super
Bowl.
Later on retroactively, it was named the Super Bowl from 1960 to 69 AFL had champions.
That's true.
They aren't counted as NFL history, but they are counted as the team's history.
If you are asking how many, yes, okay, uh, from 1966, 69, the NFL AFL champions played
the Super Bowl.
This guy's just telling me shit.
They didn't play the Super Bowl.
It was renamed that this email should be called facts.
Yeah.
Just facts, facts, facts, facts, facts.
Okay.
So in 1966, the AFL champ was the Kansas City Chiefs, the NFL champ was the Green Bay Packers.
This is the plus one league championship for each team.
Chiefs lost when they played in the first NFL if, so they didn't get a Super Bowl win,
but they still the AFL champion.
I understand all of this.
I understand all of this.
None of that cleared anything up.
I'm saying, why don't they count those?
Yeah.
It's like you go to the stadium, like the AFL merged to be part of the NFL.
You're saying that at any, at most NFL stadiums, there are no trophies to represent the league
championship.
Yes.
If you look at the flow, I'm sure in the somewhere in the stadium, maybe they'll have,
they'll have that, but it's just like, you know, when you go to, uh, you know, you go
to fucking Red Sox family park.
I mean, we have our banners right down the thing, 1903 to fucking 2018.
Yeah.
And everybody has all of their, their, all of them count.
No, that, that's, sir, I appreciate it was fun to read all that history, but that didn't
answer my question.
Why aren't they counted?
I mean, when it comes to the Super Bowl, man, it's just, if it's not in there's those words
super and bowl aren't before them, they, they just, they act like it didn't happen.
They act like it didn't happen.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, it's just, you could still say championships, but I, I completely see
what you're saying right now.
It's kind of fucked up.
They always said about the Eagles.
They've never won a Super Bowl.
The last thing they won was an NFL title.
It's like, yeah, well that was the peak of fucking 1960.
They were the best fucking football team out there.
And you're talking about it like it would, like they, they, they, they lost the election.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Anyways, living in Wyoming, Hey, Billy, city, city, city slicker.
I was listening to some older podcast episodes and came across a rant you had about Wyoming.
I like Wyoming.
I didn't remember what I said, like these people, they just find tidbits.
I live in Wyoming.
I got to say you are not too far off.
I listen to the podcast every week while I feel my cows off, feed my cows off the back
of a flatbed truck.
Shut up.
I know this guy's fucking me.
Last week we killed a problem mountain lion and next weekend we'll be entering into a
competitive coyote hunt.
I live in the absolute middle of fucking nowhere.
This sounds amazing.
This guy, this guy listens to Steve Earl.
Yeah.
But this guy is way more interesting at a party than I am.
I do stand up comedy.
Oh yeah.
What did you do?
You know, I saved five of our sheep, you know, from a mountain lion by, uh, by just pegging
it off.
I came in third in the coyote hunt nationals.
I want to talk to that guy.
The nearest town population is 3000 miles and it's 40 miles away.
Also just to clear the air, most of the billionaire cunts live up in Jackson.
And the rest of Wyoming, oh, that's what I was saying.
I still want to be the douche in Hollywood that gets a place in Wyoming.
And the rest of Wyoming pretty much discounts Jackson as being part of the state anyways,
all pretty much discounts that is being part of the state, partially unrelated.
I finished getting my pilot's license last year and hope to start on my helicopter rating
within the next year.
Good for you.
My family has used a bell jet ranger to hunt coyotes.
Jesus, how much more of an advantage do you need for three generations now?
And I'm ready to start flying the heli.
Do you have like one of those fucking Vietnam guns?
Hey, how do you shoot a dough?
Easy.
You just don't lead him as much.
Am I ready to start flying the heli to carry on the, oh, and I'm ready to start flying
on the other carrying the tradition.
So cheers to a fellow pilot.
That's cool as shit.
I just wanted to let you know there's at least one kind listen to your podcast in Wyoming
and love all the shit you put out.
Thanks to go fuck yourself.
That's cool, man.
I'm trying to get eight hours a month flying.
Have you been flying a lot recently?
I got 7.9 for this month and I'm flying tomorrow morning.
And when are you going to take me up, dude?
When I have over 300 hours and I'm going to do a little bit of instrument training and
just get better at it and like do some full, I would do full downs and the whole fucking
thing before I would ever take up my first passenger.
And I love you too much to have you be my first passenger, but there's a few people in
my life that I like.
So I'll be taking them up first.
Okay.
I believe that.
You know what I mean?
It's just like, do I want to kill this guy or this guy?
Wait, dude, it's like Sophie's choice with a helicopter.
Are we going to go?
We're going to go to see Iron Maiden in Las Vegas and then that should be like the time
that we do that.
Just round to the hills.
All right.
P.S.
If you want to try a new cigar, check out Deadwood Tobacco Company out of Deadwood, South
Dakota.
The sweet Jane is my favorite cigar I have ever smoked.
See you.
You see it.
What the fuck?
Well, I mean, some guy out there in the fucking range, shooting coyotes, I bet he knows what
it is.
Smoking at Deadwood.
Yeah.
That sounds fucking pretty cool to me.
All right.
We got to wrap this thing up too.
We got some smoking to do.
Smoking to do.
All is good.
It's an hour, three minutes.
Perfect.
All right.
Drone.
Yo, Billy up there.
You were talking about a drone last week that would taxi people around sounded like the
one you mentioned was unmanned.
Check this thing out.
57 batteries.
Yeah, dude.
That is, I was joking about that fucking thing, dude.
They're going to do this thing rather than deal with the population problem.
The next thing they do is have like, like, like it looks like a, it looks like a helicopter
and you just get in it.
There's nobody in there and it'll just like take you across to LA.
Now, first of all, I would think it would be super expensive unless it's electric unless
yeah, uh, uh, Elon Musk can make the thing.
But dude, you know, your fucking laptop crashes, your phone craps out on you.
I was joking like, dude, you're going to fly somebody like over a like the level of
insurance.
Like how are you going to do that?
I was joking that you're going to have some hipster come flying through was on his way
to a pocket watch convention out in fucking, uh, Venice beach or something.
All we found was his handlebar mustache.
Yeah.
He was on his way to this, to meet this food truck.
Um, yeah, whatever.
I think it's, so there, there is a, so what I, just so I get this clear, can I show you
something super, please show it to me, but I'm just trying to, cause I'm not, I'm kind
of confused.
You're saying there is going to be a transportation that like is a drone.
So it's like you get into a tube and then it just lifts the tube up and flies you kind
of looks like a helicopter.
It looks fucking cool as shit.
I think it looks fucking cool.
Are you showing this?
Are you showing to me now?
No, I want to show you this, this app here for flight, um, and this is what I'm getting
better at here.
So this, this here, once I get good at, you know, confident enough in my abilities and
I take up a passenger.
So it just, you don't have to know.
It's not like back in the fucking day where you had to have like a fucking sectional map
on your, on your fucking thigh as you're flying around.
This thing gives you all the, uh, the airports, all the, um, Santa Barbara, where are we?
Where are we?
There's Van Nuys.
There's Burbank right there.
So it's pink.
So that's a Charlie.
And then you go, what's so great is you can just fucking type in whatever you want to
type in.
It gives you the eighties.
It gives you the, uh, contact tower.
It has a map runway eight.
This is probably what most time when you land out there and why they slam on the brakes
because this is so fucking short.
That is a small ass landing strip.
Yeah.
Uh, well, I don't know how you can tell it from the app.
I think cause I just told you it was, um, I'm being a cunt right now.
Uh, there's, I fly Burbank.
There's El Monte.
That's one of my favorite ones, but it has all, but it has, see what you see what this
is so boring for people here, but you see right there, that's a Delta.
So ground to 2,400s right here.
When you're flying along the, the two 15, you know, I'm going to be in the airspace.
I got to call them and they'll just give you clearance all the way through.
And then once you learn how to read this fucking thing, you can kind of just fly around out
here.
Now the rest of the country, they actually have to deal with weather.
See, I don't have to deal with it because people like, you just fly across the country.
It's like, ah, this is a dry climate that I don't have to ever deal with.
Hey, everything's beautiful.
Yeah.
And then all of a sudden, you know, I can't see anything.
There's a brutal fucking call of a guy who like me is not instrument rated, which means
that the clouds came in underneath me.
I don't know how to get back down other than to just shut my eyes and go through the clouds
and hope.
Fuck.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So he's up there in the soup is or whatever the fuck they call it and do this guy is
free.
I'm going to die.
I'm going to die.
The guy talked him down and then afterwards he fucking, so he lived.
Yeah.
But he called the tower.
He goes, oh, yeah, thanks.
And the guy says, total ice.
Yeah.
He goes, what happened up there?
Yeah.
You fucking pussy is basically what you're saying.
What happened up there is he got involved in some shit that, that, you know, he wasn't
ready for.
So that's, that's the one weird thing about flying is you learn by other people dying
are doing dumb shit.
Cause he died.
Somebody showed me one, one time, somebody showed me one, one time with this guy was
doing a tour in the 44 Robinson 44 and he had three people there when he took off, right?
Yeah.
Fucking just did this really just.
I don't know what he just didn't go like he just ignored everything you're supposed
to do.
He was loaded up with people.
He had, I imagine, you know, a lot heavy with fuel.
So what you want to do is use your forward momentum to get going and he just pulled all
this fucking power and his low RPM horn comes on.
Yeah.
Now the weird thing was the chicken, the passenger sheet was going like right at this, like the
same fucking note.
So he didn't hear it at first and all he had to do, he was bank, come out of the bank,
lower your collective and it'll go off and then just gradually climb up and he did it
for a second and then he pulled it again and it came on again and then he just started
descending and your instinct is you want to pull because you want to go up.
You actually want to, you actually want to bring your collective down.
He kept pulling power and he's fucking running the ground.
They all fucking died.
Oh, fuck, man.
Yeah.
So I'll take you up.
All right.
Girlfriend is pregnant.
Hey, Billy.
Sad tits.
Um, I'm, I'm 28 years old and my 26 year old girlfriend just found out she's pregnant.
Now you're saying this dude, like you didn't blow the load in her.
She found out she's pregnant, like she got fucking shingles or something.
This came as a big shot because I previously had a vasectomy when I was 22.
Ah, there's the answer.
Jesus Christ at 22, you either had nine kids by then or you never wanted any.
He had a vasectomy at 22.
He said it never had never wanted kids.
After she told me, I went to a urologist who told me I had regained a sperm count, although
rare.
It was not unheard of when I met this girl.
She changed my life.
I had never trusted or loved any woman the way I do her.
She's the light of my life, but weren't planning on this.
We both have okay jobs, but living in California is expensive and adding a third mouth to feed
and paying for doctor's visits will crush us financially.
She doesn't have health insurance.
Do you have any advice for me?
My fear is losing the chance to have kids with her as this may be a miracle considering
my vasectomy and considered you waited a long time to have kids.
I want to know if you think this would be a good for someone in my position to go through
this.
Having time to read this poorly and probably not understand my situation.
You old gray cunt.
The old gray cunt.
He ain't what he used to be.
Love your shows.
I hope to hear more of your ramblings from you.
Best of you, the baby, and go fuck yourself and your gay ass patriots.
All right.
Can I take this?
Because I think that he should do it.
I think you do.
Don't wait on life for your financial situation, man.
If you guys will make it work, that's what you will make it work.
You'll figure it out.
You might not think that you have enough money right now, but life is constantly changing
and evolving.
And it's just like...
Yeah, lay off the micro bruce and have the kid.
Yeah, exactly.
You'll make it work, just have the kid.
You should consider it a miracle, just like you said.
I think it's a great thing.
I'm actually really happy for you.
And I think, put it this way, I wish I didn't wait as long as I did.
The other day, I was watching this kid's song.
It's just as simple as it's like, snowflake, snowflake, little snowflake, snowflake, snowflake,
da-da-da-da-da.
And my daughter was trying to sing it, and she was throwing her head back going, snowflake,
snowflake.
I think it wasn't quite in pitch.
Dude, I had to fight off getting emotional.
Just watching her do that.
I bet it's the most beautiful thing in the world.
Ever.
Yeah.
And there's nothing up until then, anything.
I've done Madison Square Garden was not as good as that.
And not even remotely, Madison Square Garden was like, wow, that's amazing.
But that moment with my daughter was like, this is what life is all about.
100%.
This is what it's all about.
And then another great thing is you become a dad and one of the greatest fucking things
ever.
And some sage advice I learned from a good dad is he said how awesome it is because
he goes, it's not about you anymore.
At first I kind of took that as like, you know, because I'm a very like, like, don't
tell me what the fuck to do, idiot sometimes.
And then I realized how great that is.
Like the other day, I finally had a day off and my wife wanted to go out and go get some
breakfast.
She goes, you want to do that?
I was like, no, I'm finally home.
I want to stay home.
So I was just like, all right, fuck it.
That's what she wants to do.
And we just went out and I said, yeah, it's not about you.
They want to go out to breakfast, take them out to fucking breakfast.
And I went out to breakfast and I had a great fucking time and I had a great time.
And it's weird when you're home, you're a dad or whatever, blah, blah, but when you
go out, you kind of feel more like a dad.
I don't know.
No, it's like, you guys take them out to dinner or whatever, taking them out of the
car.
You're walking.
She's holding your hand or you're carrying her.
You go in, you get her in the little booster seat.
You get her or whatever.
Like it's usually like a mac and cheese or like a cut up hot dog or some shit.
I assume that she's at that age and you just people are looking at the kid, look how beautiful
the kid is.
And you're like, oh, I know.
It's just like, dude, you're in your element, man.
Yeah, no, it's awesome.
And what's cool is she's really, really beginning to talk now.
So yeah, it's getting the point where I can actually convey to her and she will understand
how much I love her, which is going to be great.
Yeah, because obviously you're as much I love you.
Do you understand that?
And she'll just be looking at you smile or whatever, but I'll actually be able to say
it.
She'll be able to understand it.
Yeah.
I can't wait.
Can't wait to fucking play catch with her.
I'm going to teach her how to drive my truck three in the tree.
You're going to take what, what kid born in 2018 is going to know how to work.
Sorry.
No, no, I didn't forget about driver's stick drive three on the column.
I took it today.
I took it over to a Jiffy Lou, which I know a lot of fucking car people are going to give
me shit for that.
You went to Jiffy Lou.
Well, I would change it.
But the way they designed the guy, whoever fucking designed the engine did not talk to
the guy who fucking designed the frame on that truck, because the frame, there's like
literally a piece that goes from one side to the other right underneath the fucking plug
for the drain plan.
So the only, it's just a giant fucking mess.
Like when they do it, they have to have this giant thing underneath it and it comes down
and it splashes all over that, that piece that goes across.
And then they have like this spray thing and then the air thing that they shoot all off.
It's like, I'm going to do that in my garage and have a fucking oil spill.
I can't do it.
I hate it.
You got to take it in.
I used to love doing it when I was a kid.
I used to, that was like my favorite thing because I knew how to do it.
I would change the fuel filter.
I knew how to do a lube job.
I knew how to do the whole fucking, all of that maintenance stuff, but I never had the
balls to start taking apart the fucking engine or whatever.
But anyways, that's the podcast.
We got a cigar to smoke.
Hey, your pick for the Super Bowl Patriots Rams, I think it's going to be the Patriots.
I really do.
I do.
And to be honest with you, like I kind of, I love watching greatness and I know people
like to hate on the Patriots and I know I tease you sometimes, but it's just like, dude,
he's so good.
That team is so good, man.
And it's like, to be able to say that I watched Michael Jordan win six, like, I know I was
alive during that and nobody else has matched that greatness except for Tom Brady.
Well, I think it's going to, I'm going to die a thousand deaths as always.
And I really think that, I mean, dude, we're going up against what's looking like the next
Bella check.
I mean, it's like fucking 33, 34 years old.
I mean, it's fucking ridiculous.
He was a skin, dude.
He was our offensive coordinator.
And we gave him up like he, we have fucking one of the goddamn grudans who ain't doing
shit.
I know Bella check coach the Browns at one point and it happens, dude.
It happens.
All right.
That's the podcast.
I'm hoping my Patriots win.
I have no idea what's going to happen.
The fucking Rams look great.
And I think their quarterback, like they just don't make quarterbacks the way they used
to.
Like they don't come into the league scared.
They just fucking come in like, I whatever.
I don't know what it is.
Maybe because they video games and shit.
They've already seen.
I remember that guy used to beat them all the time in eighth grade.
Now I'm playing them.
Now he's fucking older.
I'm not scared of any of these people.
All right.
I'm rambling.
Can I get my final pitch on the podcast?
Yes.
Guys, everybody, my podcast is called the 500 with Josh Adam Myers joined the record book
club.
We're going through the 500 greatest albums of all time.
Bill's done it.
Jim Jeffries.
We got a just table.
Wanda Sykes doing earthwind and fire.
It's, it's, it's my fucking favorite thing I've ever done.
It's the greatest music of all time.
And then hear me in a, in a comic talk shit about it.
Not shit.
We just go through it.
Just join us.
I had a great time.
Listen to it.
Check it out.
Josh Adam Myers, the 500.
All right.