Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 1-9-17

Episode Date: January 9, 2017

Bill rambles about the Russians, apple trees and dropping the c-note on your LAY-DEEE!

In the mountain, in the kitchen, even in the living, they are really everywhere to ride the empty boat. But now we are going to the finish, bring them to a Bebath collection point quickly. You will always find one in your neighborhood on Bebath.be Bebath! Together, better for nature and for all of us. Campaign in cooperation with the OVAM. 2017, you know, that's how bad I am at math. I can't even fucking say the date right.

How's it going? How are you? Oh, the summer wind. It came fucking blowing in. Because of global warming. It's fucking cold for about two weeks. And then it's hot. My fucking house is gonna melt. And then it'll slip into the sea.

I don't give a fuck that it's snowing in Massachusetts. Hey, what's going on? It's already getting hot as fuck out here. Dude, you should be a meteorologist. Yeah, it's gonna be hot as fucking fucking Los Angeles. How are you? How's it going? Are you out there? Are you fighting a good fight? Are you trying to be a better person?

Are you trying to turn around your fucking childhood? Well, join the club! I had a little setback yesterday, you know? Old fucking new Billy was running around and old Williams showed up yesterday. I just, you know, whatever. I just got to keep fucking, you know, moving forward, you know? Moving forward like the Celtics and the Bruins.

Okay, we're not winning championships this year, but you know, we're trying. All right, I'm not gonna get rid of all of my anger in fucking two weeks. But you know, if you can just chop away even a half a percent, you'll be a half a percent better today than you were yesterday.

Oh, Jesus Christ, you know? You know what's fucked up is knowing that you're fucked up and then actually really analyzing yourself and you're like, whoa, I didn't know. Was that deep? Anyways, so what do you do? What do you do when you know you're fucked up and you can't really fix it in a day?

Well, you know what you do is you fucking crack open a beer and you watch some goddamn sports. That's what you do to distract yourself from all this shit that's going on. I love this whole fucking story about the Russians hacking into the fucking Democratic National fucking Convention Committee fucking websites and all that. All these fucking Hillary supporters.

That's why you fucking... Trump was able to eke it out. It's just like, I can't even fucking... I can't listen to any... And then you look at the Trump supporters, you're like, hey, what's the big deal? It's just the Russians. The bottom line is you either give a fuck

or don't give a fuck about what the Russians allegedly did or didn't fucking do depending on whether you wear a blue tie or a fucking red tie. And I love how in the end of all this, like I'm supposed to listen to the fucking CIA like they don't have an agenda. Everybody in this story has a fucking agenda.

So it's like, who the fuck do I listen to? You know, good fucking Lord. Do you think Obama would give a shit if the hacking led to Hillary winning? Well, we'll do something when the time is right and blah, blah, blah, why? Because the lady with the blue bra lost? What if she won, Obama?

Well, then what the fuck would you do? You'd ride off into the sunset, get ready to do your fucking speeches for fucking 300 grand a clip to the exact people that got you in the White House. It's all, I can't, that's why I watch sports. That's why I watch sports. Because other than a couple of mobbed up refs here and there,

you know, it's pretty fair. It's about as fair as it can get, which means it isn't fair. So anyways, I love that people don't like that Trump is friends with Vladimir Putin. How do you say this? Putinim, Putinim, you know, that not being friends with the Russians the first time didn't work out too well.

The whole thing almost blew up in our face. So, you know, why don't we try to hold hands this time? I don't know. I don't get into politics. I think war should be illegal. I think war is literally, it's the temper tantrum of the fucking Illuminati and then everybody else has to pay the fucking price.

You know, and those rich, low for wearing cunts will never step one foot into a battlefield. You know, they all make the fucking money off. It's just a bunch of fucking bullshit. And when are they going to grow up? I love how I can't go over my fence and just take a bat out and beat the fuck out of my neighbor because of, I don't know, whatever the fuck they did.

You know, the apple trees on their property and I want the apples on my fucking property and I can't just fucking try to force them to fucking give me their apples and when they don't I can then just fucking come up with a knife. I don't know, some sort of angle of bullshit that I tell the rest of my neighbors and I go over there and I fucking smash up his house

and kill a few people and I don't, why can't I do that on a fucking local level but as a country, countries can do that to one another. It's just fucking beyond me. They can't sit down at a fucking table and hash it out. Give us the oil. No!

Just sit there at the table for fucking years. Just doing different reads. Give us the oil. No! All right, there's my fucking wing nut fucking conspiracy theory horseshit for you right out of the gate so let's go right back to bread and circus. Okay, bread and fucking circus.

You guys watch any of the playoff, fucking football games? I'll tell you right now, the two luckiest teams in the NFL right now are the Seattle Seahawks and the New England Patriots. Why you say? Because the other two best remaining teams in both conferences are gonna play each other next weekend.

You know? While the Patriots play, the Houston Texans and the Seattle Seahawks play the Atlanta Falcons. Now I'm not trying to disrespect the Texans or the Falcons but who's kidding who? If you're Seattle and you got the Cowboys, the Packers and the Falcons left, which is the best game for you?

Which gives you the best chance of moving on to the next round? Wow, those fucking dirty birds down there in Atlanta. With the Real Housewives and the Down Low Brothers. And if in the AFC, I would much rather, as a Patriot fan, watch us play the Texans without JJ. What? Right? Playing a home game while the Kansas City Chiefs

and the Pittsburgh Steelers beat the shit out of each other. You know? Cowboys and Green Bay are gonna eliminate one of them. Right? You know the deal. So rather than Seattle having to go through fucking Green Bay and Dallas, they only got to go through one of them. And the Patriots, rather than having to play the Steelers and the fucking Chiefs, we only got to play one of them.

Thank Christ the way that worked out. So both of us, if we play the game that we should be fucked, that we know how to play, should easily, not easily, but we should make it to the fucking AFC Championship game. And the fucking Patriots had to buy. So we're fucking, we're wearing flip flops to the AFC Championship game. Having said that, I have no idea who's gonna win the Super Bowl. I, like many people, I think we're amazed at how easily the Packers handled

the New York football Giants. And as a Patriots fan, I did not enjoy that outcome because I wanted the rematch. You know? I said that fucking for the last five weeks. I want to see, I wanted the Patriots to play the Giants again. I wanted to see if, definitively, if the Giants just fucking own us, you know, for the trilogy, or could we get some revenge?

You know what I mean? That's what I was looking forward to. So, you know, I also love Eli and I actually love the Giants, believe it or not, as a Patriots team. I don't understand, like, as much as those two losses were painful, what is there to hate? They were a great fucking franchise. They always have a great fucking defense. They had a couple of tough years.

But I wanted the rematch. Oh, my God, that would have been huge fucking ratings. Although a rematch Patriots Seattle could also be a good thing. However, how many times have we beaten the Steelers in the playoffs? Playoffs? We've beaten them up. I don't know. Every fucking significant goddamn...

I don't even know. I've lost count. Would this be number four? So, you can't tell me the Steelers aren't due. And I don't know shit about Kansas City other than people telling me that they're really good. You know, it's not going to be an easy AFC championship game. And if you're asking me if I'm looking past the Dallas Texans,

I kind of am, but only as a fan. I don't play for the New England Patriots, so I think the Patriots will be fine that I'm kind of looking past the Houston Texans going into New England without JJ. How about that fucking catch by Richardson? You probably should say which one, the fucking end zone. That was like one of the best catches I've seen since Odell Beckham's.

It wasn't anywhere near as good as that, but Jesus Christ. Fucking literally reaching around below the guy, around his junk, past his taint. They throw a flag for an interception. You still fucking catch it. How many fucking times is there a flag in the end zone? And the offensive team gets to deny it because the fucking wide receiver reached around.

You know, that sounds fucking perverted, but around the defender. You know why? You know, they probably teach you that in broadcasting school, you know, and one of the main things you have to look out for other than staying away from advocacy of domestic violence against women is when you're going to use the expression that the wide receiver reached around

the defender, you got to get, you can't pause after a round. You got to go right to defend it, reached around the defender and then continue with your idea. Anyway, sorry. So, I don't know. A lot of people thought some of those playoff games were boring. I know I did the Steelers Dolphins one, and that was a fucking snooze fest, but it's the early rounds.

It's the early rounds. Everybody's evenly matched. I think next week's will be, will be great. We'll see what the fuck happens. Who do you like? Who do you like? I think a lot of people are on Seattle's fucking beak, as they say, right?

Everybody's fucking looking at them like, oh, well, you know, they were just there and they played pretty good against the fucking Alliance. You know, and then Green Bay, Green Bay's been there and everybody's like, oh, you know, fucking all of a sudden, you know, Aaron fucking Rogers looking like a beast in the second half, right? And then there's other people go, oh,

what about those fucking Cowboys? That's why I don't fucking watch pre or post-game analysis. And probably why you got, well, actually, maybe you shouldn't fast forward through this because I'll honestly tell you, I don't know what the fuck is going to happen. I have no idea. I don't know what happens.

I haven't watched Kansas City all year. I haven't watched Kansas City all year. I haven't watched Kansas City all year. I haven't watched Kansas City all year. I haven't watched Kansas City all year. I just know that what the fuck is Andy Reed is their coach. And the last time I watched them was the first time I saw him in a red jacket

and he looked like a big fucking tomato. And I said, you know what, I'm done with this franchise. And the only other time I paid attention to it was when Paul Verzi kept telling me that us trading Matt Castle or letting him go to the Chiefs was a huge fucking mistake. And do you think he ever apologized to me for making that sort of a comment?

I don't think he did. I don't think he did. Anyway, so I'm continuing to try to do the impossible, which is watch every home game of the Boston Celtics and the Boston Bruins while sustaining a healthy marriage. It's not easy. You know what makes it really fucking hard is the Bruins and Celtics a lot of times play on the same date

and I, for some reason, never think, but why don't you just watch one of them and then watch the other one on the off day? That's what I have to do, but I watched, you know, I watched the Celtic... Oh, I guess I taped the Pelican game. So I watched the Celtics beat the Pelicans and then I watched the Bruins fucking play the goddamn

Hartford-Wailers via North Carolina. And every time we play the fucking Hurricanes, it always goes into the lab. Sometimes in the last month, it always goes into overtime and we usually lose to those cunts. I don't know what it was. We used to own the Hartford-Wailers, but ever once they become the fucking Carolina Hurricanes,

we always lose to them. They reminded me of what used to happen when the Patriots would go into Denver. We always lost, you know. Granted, they had Craig Morton and then into John Elway. What do we have? We had Tony Easton, we had Steve Grogan. We couldn't match up.

We crushed defense and then John Elway was better than... I'm sorry, it was better than Tony Easton, but he wasn't still on the draft board. And I know what you're thinking, well, you should have picked Dan Marino. Well, you know, we didn't, like everybody else. We fucking didn't. And you know who paid the price more than anybody else?

Dan Marino, because he went to fucking Miami and they never got him a running game or a defense. And to this day, people fucking trash him, saying he couldn't win the fucking big one. Meanwhile, they had to change every possible fucking rule in passing and tip it so totally forward to the fucking, the scales to the offense for Dan Marino's records to finally start falling.

Yeah, I'm a big Dan Marino fan. Anyways, plowing ahead here. And I've been watching the Celtics, just having a great fucking time watching both of them. The Bruins, you know, they're hanging in there. They're playing playoffs for a game, playoffs. And then we won, I don't know who the fuck we beat. We've been watching so many fucking games.

We beat Buffalo twice and then we fucking lost to Edmonton and then we beat somebody and then we fucking lost and over time to do the fucking Hurricanes, I believe. I don't know, it gets crazy to try to watch 162 fucking games. But anyways, they're both fucking, we play the Blues and the Celtics got a huge game against the Toronto Raptors. Now, if you're not watching the Celtics of Boston, this is all you need to know.

I'm going to read you their wins and losses and you tell me if you can fucking pick up what's going on. We'll go back to them beating. They beat the, all right, here we go. December 16th, we beat the fucking, does that say the Hornets? One of the Hornets stopped being the Bobcats. The Hornets moved to New Orleans, then they became the Pelicans and then that name freed up and then the Bobcats like,

all right, there's really, you know, not enough Bobcats out here in North Carolina. Can we go back to Hornets? Because them motherfuckers are everywhere. They go right up our overalls and shoot fly North Carolina. All right, then we beat the Miami Heat. Then we beat the Memphis Grizzlies. Then we beat the fucking Indiana Pacers.

Then we played the Oklahoma City Thunder and we lost. Then we played the Knicks, we beat them. Then we played the Grizzlies, we beat them. Then we played the Cavaliers and we lost. You see in a pattern here? Then we beat the Heat, then we beat the Jazz, then we beat the Sixers, then we beat the fucking Pelicans.

And then Tuesday, we're playing the Toronto Raptors. So if you look, we fucking, we beat all the fucking regular Joe teams, lunch pail, Larry's, but we can't beat the Cavs. We're not beating fucking OKC. And now we got fucking, we got Toronto. So I don't know, I'll be very excited if we fucking, I'll be very excited if we fucking win that game

because we haven't really beat a contender yet since I've started to watching them. But anyways, they're saying the Celtics are like one fucking player away. They're not one player away. If you really watch the Cavaliers and you watch the Golden State Warriors, we're at least two fucking players away.

The fact that they want to move like fucking Marcus Smart, a fucking J Crowder, for that white kid who used to play at Butler, for Brad Stevens, you know. I'll tell you right now, I'm reverse racist when it comes to fucking basketball. We're going to try to black guy and draft picks for a white guy who plays in Utah.

I don't know. Verzi's telling me the guy's a beast. Whatever, he's a Hawthorne or some shit like that. I don't know shit about who, but I just started watching. I'm like a fucking housewife that finally got her Celtic apron and has stopped making ham hocks and is peeking into the living room. So I have no idea what I'm talking about.

All I can tell you is that I'm loving watching the games. Dude, the Pelicans got a great fucking announcer, too. I was so pissed because I love listening to Tommy Hightson and the other fucking guy, who I don't know his goddamn name, I should. He's been doing the Celtics games forever. But the Pelting, that was, see that? That was the Pelicans and the Celtics.

The Pelicans or the Peltecs, they actually combined during World War II. They played the Stiegels. They got a great announcer. Old school fucking, I don't know, had a lot of elements of Vince Scully. I thought he was a class act. He could tell he was rooting for the Pelicans,

and he gave, you know, when his team committed files, he said, all right, that's a file. You know, he wasn't a total homer. I like guys like that, and I also like total homers like Tommy Hightson. All right, I'm going to stop talking about fucking basketball because that's about as deep as I go. Oh, let me read a couple of advertisements here.

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There's nothing convenient about shaving. It fucking sucks. And when you're a kid, all you want to do, you get old and fucking shave. It's the fucking worst. It's so ridiculous, man, that you didn't have to shave for like the first fucking, I don't know, 13, 14, or 10 if you're one of those fucking hairy people,

years of your life. You want at least a goddamn decade, 12 years, without having to fucking shave. Although you never know today with all the horse tranquilizers that they put in their fucking food. You've seen kids today, you know what I mean? They'll be like some fourth grade boy with a beard talking to some fucking fourth grade girls

who's beginning to have titties. You know what I mean? They're like nine or 10 years old. You just look at them. But are those fucking, are those little people? No, they've just been drinking the milk from the cows that have been fed other cows, and that's the result. They're making little fucking adults.

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The third blade one became too thick and you can't get under your cute little button nose to shave there, so you got to start fucking grabbing and pushing it up, giving yourself a pug nose like that complete fucking psycho Orange County wife. When are they going to retire those fucking brats? They're like on season 98. I walk by the TV and I'm like,

that fucking lady's still here? She hasn't gone to the Looney Bin. Her fucking nose looks like the Lincoln and the fucking, what's that other tunnel in New York? Did I move away that long? Wasn't the Hawthorne? The Holland Brook. What's the one down there by fucking De Niro's restaurant?

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that bit that little girl's ear off? And then the person goes, No, I didn't. And I said, of course you didn't. They just, they don't report on it, all the other shit. First, so I look up this whole pit bull thing is once in a while, people just going like, these pit bulls, man, they're crazy. They're licking your face and, and they love their owner. And then one day they just kill them in their sleep. All this bullshit. I looked it up. Okay, two things.

One, the dog's name was Scarface. Repeat the dog's name was Scarface. Number two, they lived in Florida. Okay, can we quit blaming the fucking breed here? Jesus fucking Christ. That poor fucking dog. I can't imagine the abuse that that dog went through. The dog's name Scarface.

What kind of dog you think they wanted it to be? What do you think they trained it to be? That's what the fuck they did. Do you know when I was a kid, we had a West Highland white terrier. Okay, and me and my brothers teased the fucking shit out of that dog and it bit us routinely, bit me in the face one time and I almost lost my eye. You know why? Because we were horrible to the dog. That's why.

Okay, if you get a pit bull and you name it fucking Scarface and you start feeding it fucking raw meat and making it attack shit, eventually, you know, I guarantee you they abused the fucking shit out of that thing and what happened is when you put a sweater on a dog at some point its head is underneath the fucking material and it probably flipped out. And then what happens is you've abused the dog and rather than it being a little West Highland terrier that you can push off your fucking face,

you've done it to a dog that is in a weight class that you cannot fucking handle. But then what happens is they blame the dog because human beings are so fucking precious and fucking make no goddamn mistakes. It's fucking ridiculous that they keep blaming those fucking dogs. And I know what you guys are thinking, well Bill, didn't you just give away your pit bull? Yes, I did because I understood that I didn't have the capabilities as a fucking owner

because of the abuse that happened to my dog. You know? My dog, when I first got it, I picked up a hockey stick to fucking stick handle in my living room and it ran to the other side of the room and started shaking uncontrollably. Okay? I don't know what the other people did then. But you know, when you do that to a fucking dog, you know, I don't know. I still love pit bulls and I hate that people come up to me with those fucking stories.

I don't give a fuck. You know, dogs bite people all the fucking time. All these different breeds bite people all the fucking time. Every day a dog bites somebody. You're bringing a fucking animal into the fucking house. Okay? And if you're not a good owner and you don't know what the fucking you're doing, you could get bit.

You get a hamster. You're going to get bit. You get a pet snake. You're going to get bit. You're bringing a fucking animal into the house. My whole fucking life, pit bulls were biting people. But it didn't get brought up until somewhere in the 90s. When I was growing up, it was one German shepherd, one Doberman pincher after a fucking other.

You know? Meanwhile, Dalmatians are out of their fucking mind because they're purebred. You know? I don't know. All right, let's get back to the fucking podcast. I just, I don't buy into it. The same way I don't buy into the fact that there's people in other countries, you know, just sitting there more evil than what the fuck is down the street from me.

We're all fucking human beings. Some of us are good. Most of us are cunts. You know? I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about at this point. All right, let's continue on. Let's continue on with the podcast here. As you might have guessed at this point, still no babies.

So we're still fucking waiting. We are still waiting on pins and needles. And I am getting to the fucking point where it's just like, it's, it's like enough already. This is just like, it's like waiting to go on stage in front of a rowdy crowd. You just want to be like, can you just bring me up already so I can fucking get this over with? Oh my God. And I've become, I've become an expert at talking people out of the vortex of them giving me, giving me advice about what to do on the day because they just start telling me their stories.

And then I'll just be like, Hey, did you see that fucking nor'easter they just had back? You got family back east? And I just, I waltzed them out of the conversation because I've tried being blunt with people and being like, listen, listen, listen, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, I don't care. I don't want to hear your fucking story. Your fucking story is not going to help me. Your story is all about you and you just talking about yourself and everything that you learned. I don't give a shit.

I've talked to a thousand fucking people, it seems like. And every one of you tells me a different story and a different thing for me to expect, which makes me feel like every fucking thing's a little bit different. So for the love of God, can you please shut the fuck up? Please stop with the verbal home videos. I can't wait to be a dad and not tell other people how to be a dad. That is my goal as a parent. I probably won't do it.

I'll probably fucking follow the herd right over the cliff and be like, you know what you got to do? Tell you right now, look out for this. You know, this person told me the other day that fucking I would never play drums again the second my kids bored. Can you fucking believe how ridiculous that is? You won't be playing drums anymore. Oh, really? Well, you know, fucking Dave Grohl plays drums. He plays guitar too.

And he sings in a band while touring the world. As far as what I've read, he's got a couple of kids. I think he's doing fine. John Bonham had a kid when he was fucking 19. His band didn't even make it yet. He had a fucking kid before his band made it. He was a teen dad before MTV. And he went on to become arguably the greatest rock and roll drummer of all fucking time.

You know what? I think old freckles can sneak in a couple of paradiddles. What do you think? You don't really think about parents. I think that there's certain people that know how to be a parent and not lose themselves in it. And actually still have a balance in their life where they have a card game every once in a while. Obviously, your life has to adjust. But these fucking people that just like they just they have no life and they just sit there staring at their children.

You know, honey, honey, honey, don't. No, no, no, no, no, no. They never let their kids fall down. They don't let them fucking do everything. They just sit there like a fucking penguin with that goddamn egg underneath them, except the kids are already bored. I don't think I don't know. I don't want to do that. I don't want that to be my life.

You know what I mean? I think if a kid is inside considering that we were cavemen and we used to have babies and they were in caves. And at any point, a saber two tiger can come in and fucking just take the kid from you. And then that's it. The fact that you're fucking inside with with fucking central air, heating and food, you don't have to hunt. You can go right down the street and go to the grocery store. I know I'm oversimplifying this, but I have I have to be honest with you. When I talk to other parents, all they do is just give me anxiety.

I'm so excited for this thing to happen. And then I talk to people that have kids and they they they just dump all this anxiety on you. And I swear to God, I might be reading into this, but there's like a certain like 30% of them that take like a certain perverted joy. And making you feel not feel well about this experience that's allegedly the greatest experience you're ever going to have. Like they actually take this perverse joy. And I think that those people are actually bad parents, because I think I'm totally guessing here. I think that they resent their children and what they took from them. And they still wanted to do blow and go around and fucking have random sex with people.

And there's their state never quite got passed. They didn't quite fuck enough broads or jump on enough dicks. I don't know what it is, but I found it equally with men and women like 30% of them will take a perverse joy in trying to infuse some sort of like preemptive misery into your fucking life. Because I can tell you this right now. I'm still going to play fucking drums. I have to because if I don't, I will go out of my fucking mind. I'm not saying I'm going to play as much as I play, but to sit there. And if you fucking think that I'm going to sit here with the 71 green sparkle fucking Ludwig drunk pit and I'm not going to keep fucking playing this thing.

You know, those people who out there who play an instrument, okay, but you don't make a living off of it and you stop playing it because you have a kid. Do you ever think about maybe, you know, just playing the instrument in front of your kid and maybe that they'll take to it or maybe they'll play in an instrument that they could play. And you took together, you could have your own little fucking, you know, good time together bonding through the, I don't know, the wonder of having music as a fucking hobby. Who are you hurting? Right now, you better play that ukulele because once that kid comes, you're never going to play. I mean, what is this kid like some little Donald Trump and he's going to fire me as a dad if I continue to do my little rudiments on my practice pad. How about I watch less TV, the amount of time I spent watching all the Bruins and Celtics, why don't I take that out of my life and then put that towards watching the kid and then continue to play drums. I mean, there's just much you can make, right?

Oh, fuck, I got to tell you this story. I always look at houses, you know, I'm not going to sell my house. I love this fucking place as much as I bitch about it because I love this fucking house. And I'm going to continue to fucking repair it and I'm going to do the fucking homeowner 360. And when I have the whole thing fixed, I'm going to start over again on the first job because now it's going to be fucked up. Whatever I repaired at that point will then be fucked up. So anyways, there was this house for sale and I went to go see it and it basically had everything that you could ever want. Right? It was a beautiful house, you know, from the outside.

It was a beautiful house. It had a fucking pool. It had a garage detached from the house with a room above it, which to me is like, oh, there you go. I got the kid. I got the house with the I got the garage with the fucking room above it. I put my drums up there, turning into a drum room slash podcast room. There you go. That is my fucking dream.

So I go over to go look at this fucking place, right? No info. Well, I'm not going to fucking buy it. Because I can tell, but at this point, having bought a fucking house that needed all the work it does. But as as I'm driving up to it, I can already see the fucking windows need to be replaced and it needs a new roof. Even though they told me, you know, we checked out the roof there. We had some inspectors. They said it's fine.

Oh, yeah. Is that what they said? Why are all these water stains all over the side of the fucking house? What's that about? I like how the windows don't fucking quite, they're not flush. Look at that. Look at the rot around all of those fucking windows. This house, I can tell you right now is already a borderline tear down.

And I haven't even gotten into it yet. So I walk into this fucking house and holy shit. Holy fucking shit, dude. I took a tour of this house. There was three separate times that I thought I was going to get murdered. All right. First of all, we go to look at the room above the garage first. And there's just this, this moss growing on the side of the house, which I don't know if it was mold or if it was moss.

It was fucking green. And the guy trying to sell it is, you know, he's doing his best going, you know, it's a mother-in-law suite. You can fucking do this. You can do that. There's room to add a little more onto the garage. And I just point to the, I'm like, what is that? And he goes, yeah, you know, you need to definitely needs a little bit of work. And, uh, so I go into the house and there's this random guy living there who isn't the owner as a pony tail.

It's sparsely furnished. It was made in the 1920s. So it's already like creepy. You can already feel how many people have lived there and are now dead. And, uh, we just walk around the house. It got remodeled sometime in the nineties. Yet it still had the fucking, uh, you know, long chainie junior vibe of it from the twenties. And, uh, I go downstairs.

It was like a basement, which they just don't have out here. And, uh, the guys like, you can make this into a TV room. And there was all like these fucking files and film and all this shit down there. And like, you know, that was the first time I was thinking about like, uh, saw or the Blair witch. And I'm like, all right, uh, can we go back upstairs? We go back upstairs. We go all the way upstairs. Then there was this random, like teenage girl living there that was the daughter of the dude downstairs who wasn't fucking, who lives there.

But I don't know. It's not his house. And we look up there and there's this stuffy fucking smell. And then as we go down to go to the master bedroom, they said, oh, the owner is, uh, the owner is just like, you know, the owner is there. He's in the house, which usually they fucking leave. There's all these people just there and this fucking cat just sitting there looking at me. And I do the after you to go to the master bedroom and he does the after you to me. And then I didn't want to be rude.

So now I'm walking towards the master bedroom down this creepy fucking Transylvania hall. With the, with the fucking, the guy's smiley real estate agent behind me, who, you know, he's the, I'm sitting there going like, he's regular looking good looking guy. That was to make me feel safe. And now I'm fucked. And I'm walking towards this fucking door and I opened the fucking door. And I look in there and I swear to God, this is guy with like gray skin, totally fucking bald, like the landing strip. And then like, you know, like the little fucking, uh, Mr. Whipple fucking hair around the side that he sort of died at some point. But now it was like this gray.

He was totally gray. You can see the veins on the side of his head, like Clint Eastwood, but not like I wouldn't want to fight Clint Eastwood. More like, did this guy die and then come back? And he was sitting down hunched down. I think he was typing on the side of his bed. The place was a mess. He just sort of looked over me and just like, Hey, he looked like the fucking dad in the Texas chain song massacre. And I was just like, what the fuck?

So I went like, Hey, man, how are you? I sort of stepped around him. And then when I went to look into the bathroom, which I did for fucking two seconds, you know, trying to feel the backside pressure, by the way. You know, like when a quarterback doesn't feel the rush, you know, trying to feel that fucking axe that was already going to my back. I look into the bathroom and all along the bathtub, this guy had knee-high dress socks drying on the thing. And I was just like, I was just like, all right, man, I'll fucking see you later. And I did, I like, give us see that walk racing that that was a big fad in the seventies. I did that right out of that fucking house.

And I told, I said to the real estate guy, I go, Jesus Christ, I can see why this has been on the market for so fucking long. How the fuck he's supposed to sell it when the goddamn creep keeper keeper is creep keeper, the creep keeper. I'm like verbally dyslexic. Forget about trying to read. He's sitting up there. I didn't dare look, you know, I was standing there and I said all this shit. I know those old houses, you can hear everything when you're outside. I was standing right underneath the fucking bedroom window and I didn't dare look up there because I had a feeling he was going to be standing in the window staring at me. And I was going to have fucking nightmares.

And, and I just, I just, I fucking left. I left and I have this creepy fucking feeling that because I went into that house, I got exposed to something. And at some point today, my home phone, which I never use so it never fucking rings is going to ring and I'm going to pick it up and it's going to be that guy's voice going seven days. And then I got to somehow expose somebody I know to it so I don't fucking die. Haven't said that it was a great house that had a lot of potential. Oh my God. Jesus Christ, that, that house needed a giant fucking hug needed to get that guy out of it and just the, you needed to buy all the sage in the state of California and fucking set it on fire. And if one thing either happens, either burns out all the spirits or it burns down the house and you start over again.

Having said that though, despite how fucking creepy it was, the fact that it had a room over a garage. That's, that's the only way I would ever leave this house is if I could find a fucking house. You know, I don't know. I got to get out of this fucking state. I got to get out of this fucking city. It's so fucking stupid. Every fucking house. I don't care how nice it is.

You can literally stick your hand out the window and before your hand completely extends, you can touch your neighbor's house. It's unbelievable. It's like, where the fuck do you have to go? There's just too many fucking people. Anyways, plowing ahead here. Should I do some reads for this week? Let's do some reads. What do we got here?

I got a little more advertising to go. Who the fuck wants to listen to me read out loud anymore? Let's, let's read some of the, some of the questions for the week. I'll read two of these and then the last two advertisements. How about that? All right. And then I'll read the rest of the questions. All right.

Polish invention. Hey, Bill, I saw this on Reddit. How the fuck do people go to Reddit, by the way? How do you even figure out what's going on? It looks like computer code. People always telling me, you got to go on Reddit. It's like, I, it looks like a fucking declaration of independence. I'm not reading all that shit.

I saw this on Reddit. It was a machine made by some Polish guy to cut wood. Does knowing it's Polish make you double guess yourself? Double guess yourself as to whether or not it's good invention because of Polish jokes? Double guess yourself. And this guy's making fun of Polish people. I definitely did. I'm at the point where I have no idea your thoughts.

Well, I don't know how to click. I got to go back here to click the link. I can tell you this. We know, I don't think we need any better way to cut down fucking trees. Do you ever see that fucking invention? It looks like a fucking bulldozer without, without the bulldozer front end. And the thing just reaches out, grabs the tree, rips it out of the ground, turns it fucking horizontal and goes up one side down the other and completely strips it down. And it does this within like fucking, I don't know, within 10 seconds.

And literally one man in that machine can do the work of like an army of lumberjacks for a year. It's, it's terrifying when I saw it, to be honest with you. You know, as I talk about looking at a house that I don't need and then redoing it. What are you going to redo it, Bill? What are you going to redo it with the fucking wood that that machine cut down? All right. Let me see if I can find the, all right, here's the link. Let me look at this thing.

All right. Oh God. Well, you know what? I know you're making fun of Polish people. This is just some guy in his backyard came up with this. I bet you couldn't come up with this fucking thing. And to be honest with you, I just had to cut up my Christmas tree for this year. Sorry, I'm sure that was really annoying to listen to.

That's great. Let's see what people say underneath. This is way better than the 1000 degree knife videos. I'm irrationally angry at the completely different sizes of cuts of the second log. Short on fire load. We specialize in short firewood. I don't even know what this guy put on there, but he basically. He hooked it up to his, what's that thing between the transmission and the differential past the universal joint.

I'm going fucking blank here. He basically just hooked it up to that. And he's using the engine, turning of the engine. Why do people just hate on everybody out there? Good for him. I don't fuck it. What is I supposed to trash Polish people? I like Polish people.

I like their food and I don't know. I mean, I'm sure they've made movies about it, but not here in the United States. Because we're so focused on our own fucking point of view like most countries, but Poland. I'm fascinated with because during World War two, they were sandwiched between two of the biggest mad men of all time. Adolf Hitler and Joseph Stalin. They were stuck in between the two of them. The most precarious fucking position of any country that I can ever fucking think of and they somehow fucking survived. So I don't think they're dumb.

And I look forward someday to going there and seeing that beautiful country, eating their food and doing a fucking show. We're having a couple of fucking beers. All right, from Turkey. I'm sick of being called a delusional conspiracy theorist by my family and my lady. He said, I live in the Republic of Turkey. Maybe you've heard that there was a coup here last year. Yes, I did. I put it in quotation because it was the most pathetic attempt in Turkish history.

So it didn't go down like the Ukraine. Long conspiracy short. Your guys were losing control of our guys whom they installed here to have a nice little proxy to the loves to the lovely oil desert downtown. Deserts downtown. I already love how this person is thinking. So they try to pull the carpet from under our guys because God knows they can't pass aggression wars in your Congress anymore since you American citizens are woke as fuck now. Thankfully, I guess we're not because I don't know what any of this means. By the way, you don't write like you're from Turkey.

Like this is your second language. You're using like really high level slang for someone who lives on the other side of the world. Anyways, this pathetic coup attempt created a lot of turmoil here. I mean, it would be less destructive if it succeeded because now through their paranoia, they are going full ape shit, which turns Turkey to a bittersweet heaven for conspiracy theorists like myself with all the stuff going on. All right, well, there's no fuck away. I'm reading your names. You don't end up in a jail if you actually are from Turkey. I can deal with my family's indifference to all this and my friends are most likely are most like me regarding these subjects.

But the fact that my girl stonewalls me goes, yeah, doll. Okay, really a noise be down deep. Of course it does anytime you're passionate about an opinion. And somebody just goes, oh, really? Okay, sweetheart, forget about it. If it's a woman that you have feelings for, she is a totally dope chicken. Every other aspect. Dude, you're not from Turkey.

You're not from Turkey, but I'll continue with this. Fun to hang out hates the movies and music. I hate has sea cup fun pillows that were sculpted by God himself for my palms, but I can't help lose respect for her when it comes to her not giving a single shit about politics and stuff. She's convinced she doesn't get affected by them for some reason and it doesn't matter. I'm curious how you dealt with this feeling. Also, I'm very interested in how you reach information about the world and what news outlets you trust from Turkey with love to you and me. All right, well, let's say you're from Turkey, very impressive. You're English and you're slang.

You're actually better at my language than I am. All right, here's what you have to understand as a conspiracy theorist is that you're really, you're a lot to deal with and you really wear people out. This is what I learned when I went down the rabbit hole, which I got out of a good two, three years ago, is that as much as you don't trust what the fuck people are telling you, which is really common sense. And I'm not saying there's a bunch of fucking crazy people living under a mountain pulling the strings. But what I'm saying is that everybody is spinning the shit because everybody has their own agenda. So you can't, you don't like, if you just, if you fucking showed up to a two car accident, okay, both people are going to spin it in a way, even if one person was 100% right, they're still going to spin it. So there's no fucking way that, you know, they can be perceived. They're going to spin it just because the other person is spinning it, just to offset their spinning.

It's like listening to that whole fucking Russia tapped into, you know, hacked into our shit. You're going to listen to the Democrats spinning it, the Republicans spinning it, the CIA spinning it, and then fucking Russia, their spin on it. So at the end of it, who the fuck knows what happened? I just love how our country is acting like we don't spy on Russia and we don't try to influence elections around the fucking world. And we haven't placed people in power, taken people out and all of that. It's fucking hilarious. All of a sudden it happens to us and it's a big goddamn tragedy. So I would say respect the fact that she's not into politics. I'm envious of people that can, you know, I kind of did that after a while.

After a while, it's just like you screaming into a tornado. All right. It's way bigger than you are. There are people out there that have the ability and the influence to fucking, I guess, turn shit around, but I'm not that guy. I'm just some fucking guy ruining your beer at a bar by bringing all my delusional, paranoid fucking thoughts. Whether I'm right or not, which I was probably right on a few things like Mel Gibson in that movie where he drove the taxi cab. I was probably right about a few fucking things, but I don't know what they are. So all you're doing is just annoying the shit out of people. And I have to be honest with you, if your girl actually loves you and she's to the point of responding of, yeah, doll, okay, I think you've probably worn her down.

I bet she didn't say that in the beginning. She probably listened to it and you probably freaked her out and you don't have a solution. You're just saying all this fucking shit that's just going to ruin her day. So maybe that's her defense mechanism. And what I'm doing is I'm not going Dr. Phil here and just siding with the woman because I don't have a female audience. Unlike that fucking dishonest cunt, right? You need to do what she says. Woo!

When you look, ladies, when you look at Dr. Phil, when you honestly look at that man, do you see somebody? Do you not see how volatile a human being that guy is? Can you just imagine living with that man when he loses his shit? Just imagine that semi bald head and face just beat red screaming at you. His spittle getting caught in his mustache. Just imagine that. And he's a big man too, okay? I'm telling you. I know he's got that Southern drawl and you just think everybody's a fucking gentleman, you know, the way women love a foreign fucking accent.

I guess guys like it too. I don't know. I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. Anyway, so let's get back to this guy. To lose respect for the fact that somebody's not into what the fuck you're into, is that's a sign, you know, it'd be one thing if she just didn't give a fuck about me. I don't know. I'd have to know who the fuck she was. That could just be a defense mechanism where it's just like whatever doesn't affect my life.

You know, I've done that with global warming and all of that type of shit. I've just started to block it out because there's nothing I can do to get people to, and I don't even know what the fucking solution is. The only solution I have is to fucking exterminate most of us, 90% of us, and then just fucking everybody sits in a ball in hopes that everything that we've put into the earth and into the air kind of goes away after a while. That's the only solution I have, which I don't think that that's going to work. So, I don't know, I just, you know, I try to fucking do whatever the fuck I can do,

which is, you know, I don't know. See dude, this is why people don't like concede. You literally bringing this up has brought me to a dark fucking place, and your email alone just told me that, just got me to say that we need to exterminate 90% of the people on the fucking planet. How insane is that? How are you going to do that, Bill? Are you going to do that to babies too? Or are you not going to do babies, but you're going to kill all those fucking parents,

and then what, you're going to have the most giant fucking nursery? It all unravels. The whole fucking thing. That's why I kind of stopped doing the conspiracy theory thing, even though I still throw it out there because it's fun. And I also don't believe a fucking word anybody's telling me. When it comes to that shit, you know, one on one, you know, if I sat down with somebody and there's not cameras around,

then I feel like they can really be honest with me. The second you're on TV, you know, it's only so honest you could be. So, I don't know, I would probably guess that on some level, you're a lot to be around during certain news stories. And I think you should lighten up a little bit, take your girlfriend out, go get a fucking ice cream, and enjoy the fact that someone as beautiful as you're saying is, she is, she actually can tolerate you and your fucking theories.

All right. Having said that, if I ever go to Turkey, I'll definitely have a beer with you and I'll fucking, I'll go fucking toe for toe with you with conspiracy theories. All right. And thank you for listening to the podcast. Okay. Girlfriend was unwillingly married. What?

All right. Dear Billy Psycho Tits. I don't know what that means, but I like that one. I'm 25 years old and finally found out the girl of my dreams and finally found the girl of my dreams. Well, good for you, dude. You found her pretty young. She's 23 years old, smart, super attractive,

and we have been in a relationship for the last nine months. I don't even have the urge to go to bars and sleep with women anymore. She has me all types of screwed up. It's amazing. My family loves her, especially my father, who never gives a shit about my relationships. She's from Yemen and is Muslim. And although she, she doesn't really follow the religion.

She is forced, she's forced to by her parents. That being said, one weekend last month, she told me her sister was having an arranged marriage and she was headed to the wedding. I did not hear from her for three days. She finally contacted. Oh no. She finally contacted me back after I constantly reached out to her and she told me we had to talk. Oh no.

Once we met up, she told me she was unwillingly married off to a man from Yemen and that she had no idea this was going to happen. Oh my God. Is this real? Is this a lifetime script? She told me that since her parents signed the marriage documents, she really had no choice in her religion. In God's eyes, she was, she's married.

She made it clear that she was in love with me and that she wanted to be with me. Is that fucking chick who punches herself in the chest going to start singing at this point? What's her name? She does the casino gigs. She's from Canada. She sang the Titanic song, right? Leonardo DiCaprio on the front of a ship. Whatever the fucking song.

No, that's in the arms of the angel. That's about rescue dogs. What fucking song? Oh yeah. Near far well. How much does she fucking hate that song? Having to sing that to a bunch of casino dope sitting there and flip flops, getting teared up, you know?

Anyway, she made it clear with me. She made it clear that she was in love with me and that she wanted me to be with me only. She told me she pleaded with her parents, but they wouldn't budge. We then came up with a date that if her parents still wouldn't budge, she would just move in with me out of her parents' home and we would figure it out together. During the week after, text messages turned to about three messages a day and I did not get to see her at all. You know, even if you made this up, this is an incredible story.

I then got a message from her best friend and she told me that my girlfriend was lying to me. Oh, now who do you believe? She told me that my girl had been engaged since she was 16 years old. Her new husband is forcing himself to try to fuck her and she is threatening her and is threatening her with violence. All right, dude, this is going outside the realm of my silly little podcast here. As well as taking her away her phone, she does make it clear that my girl does love me with all her heart,

but will never leave due to her parents disowning her if she decides to leave this marriage. What the fuck, what period, the period, fuck period. I immediately contact my girl and she admits to everything. She told me she knew about the wedding beforehand and doesn't think she could do that to her family. He's trying to have sex with her, but she cries and then he just stops. Oh boy, well, you know what, I commend that other guy, you know what I mean? Any guy who can plow through a woman crying is just a fucking animal that needs to be shot in the back of the fucking head.

So this guy's actually not a bad guy, I don't think. He's just wrapped up in the fucking custom. Ah, Jesus Christ, gotta love religion, everybody. I have no idea what to do. She won't go against her parents, but she loves me and she's just given up. She was such a strong and tough person and now she's just going with the unwilling. Maybe she should just keep crying and that guy's decent enough to do, to just be like, all right, you know what, fuck this.

Her friend told me she's depressed and doesn't have the fight in her. Currently, she's blocked by friends, our mutual friends and our family are from social media. My family and friends have been calming me down. This guy who thinks he owns my girl would get American History X curb stomp. If I find out he lays a hand on her. All right, this stopped being funny like at least nine paragraphs ago. I usually have like lighthearted, funny shit here. But that might also complicate things for her.

Yeah, if you murdered the guy, absolutely. Anyways, I love your podcast. Don't stop what you're doing to go fuck yourself. I don't believe that. I don't believe that story. I'm not saying shit like that doesn't happen, but I don't believe that someone would write this level of serious shit into me. Yeah, I don't, but that, that, that got a little too fucking sensational for me.

Not saying that shit like that doesn't happen, but, you know, if that actually is true, I don't know why you're writing to this podcast. Um, I think at that point you need to write to, uh, I'm going to say is wrong. Is it Neum Leesam or Liam Neesam? That fucking guy, you need, you need to write to that guy and find out who wrote the scripts and the words that he said and then find out what they based that off of and gradually go back and find whoever the fuck Liam Neesam, Neum Leesam is pretending to fucking be. I should know who that guy's fucking name is, right?

Considering I act every once in a while, I should know who one of the best guys out there, Liam Neesam. Oh, Liam Neesam. He's born in 1952. Jesus Christ, that guy's like 60, 63 fucking years old and I still wouldn't fuck with him. Not even remotely. You know, certain actors that play a character and you're like, hey, he's just pretending to be a tough guy. What other people will you just like, you know, you know, I think that guy could really beat the shit out of me. You know, you're just on the ground.

When is the scene end, Liam? All right. Banged Friends Virgin X. Dear Strawbilly, pubes forever. A month back, I recently acquired, I recently acquired friend was at my house and unbeknownst to me, his girlfriend at the time was my next door neighbor. All right. I was just thinking about the Beatles.

I got distracted. Let me read this a month back. He recently, oh, Jesus Christ. You know what? I forgot I got to read those other two advertisements. I know you guys are like, what the fuck? I know. Just let me just knock these out really quickly.

Can I just do this here? All right. I did me on these. Oh, wait a minute. Do I only have one left? Oh, what a bonus. I got one left. Stamps.com.

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Your computer and printer to get official US. I think they missed a paragraph there. Official US postage for any letter or package. Then the mailman picks it up. I'm missing a paragraph here. All the bullshit you go through going to the post office, driving there, finding parking, fucking smelly old people, crazy people. Going up there and having the wrong envelope being told that you have to go back to the end of the line. Thinking you're next and then fucking the person puts the sign up next window, please.

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Don't miss out. Don't fucking miss out. We got a special guest. All right. Here we go. Banged Friends Virgin X. All right, let's start again. Dear Strawberry, Billy, Pubes forever.

Strawberry, Pubes forever. There we go. A month back, a recent recently acquired friend was at my house and unbeknownst to me, his girlfriend at the time was my next door neighbor. A few weeks later, they had broken up because she wasn't putting out. Apparently they had dated for three months and he couldn't take it anymore. Here's the thing. Oh, Jesus. One thing led to another.

Next thing you know. Long story short, a week ago, I was drunk with a different buddy. One thing led to another. Sorry. And we decided it would be funny to invite her and her roommates over to play board games. I was pretty buzzed and had all the confidence in the world. I walked over to her house and it just so happened. She was the only one home though.

Jesus. She invited me in. It's just like some red shoe diary as this really happened. She invited me in for some cookies. Her sorority made one thing led to another. There we go. And we ended up fucking one thing led to another. The classic phrase she was obviously inexperienced.

So it was nothing to write home about. This normally wouldn't be a problem except she's my next door neighbor. So naturally I have repeated the process about a dozen times. My question is, should I tell my friend? Normally I wouldn't say anything, but I think I'm falling for this girl. He's been kind of distance lately. So he might have some suspicions. Thanks and go fuck yourself.

Please come to San Diego and congrats on the baby. Jesus. Is there anything funnier than a young man with a dick? You know, Jesus Christ, dude, you think he's getting suspicious? She lives next door. You've been over there 12 times. Yeah. He's going to figure it out.

Well, look, you know, he broke up with her. He was only there with her for three months. How well did you know? How well? How much? How? Are you great friends with this person? Yeah, it gets messy.

It gets messy. I don't know what you're asking me here. You know, it's a fucking great story other than it used to be your friend's girlfriend, but he fucking tapped out. Maybe that's what you should say to him when he calls you on it. You just been, you shouldn't have tapped out, man. You should have kept mining for gold. There's gold in there, Hills.

Um, I don't know. The fact that you've been with this girl 12 times and you think you're falling for her, I don't think you're falling for her. I think you love the convenience of it. I had to guess. Um, you really didn't write too deeply about your fucking, um, about your fucking feelings for this girl. I think you went further into the fact that how you fucking nailed this girl and your,

your, your friend didn't. So, uh, I don't know. If you're really not into this girl, I would just pull the fucking plug and I would never bring it up and I'd wait till that guy is a couple of Miller highlights into him. And at that point I would stay out of his wheelhouse cause he might fucking suck a puncher cause you know what happened. All right. What did he say bang friends ex-girlfriend?

So he didn't say he accidentally did it. So yeah, well, you know, you knew what you were doing and you did it. And now that's the, that's, that's the world you created and you're living in it. So I don't know what to tell you. Um, other than if, if you're not really falling for this girl, I would stop fucking her. There you go. I don't care how good the cookies are. All right.

Calling girlfriend a cunt. Hey Bill, hope father heard his treat and you well if it finally happened has not happened yet. Recently my girlfriend was being very unreasonable and running her mouth about something and I said she was being a cunt. Didn't call her a cunt rather acting like one. You know what? There is a loophole there.

There is a loophole there, but when you drop the C word, it's, it's very difficult. Like I've never called my wife a bitch ever. I've never done it. The entire time I've been, I never called her that once. One time I did say that she was acting like one. And, uh, she brought that up for like fucking three years because she knew how important it was to me to never call her that. And she fucking, we got into a fight and then she pushed my buttons trying to get me fucking

more and more mad because that's what they do. And they're not doing it maliciously. That's how they fight most of them where guys go, what'd you fuck you say? And then you start fucking fist fighting women usually don't get to that level. So their fist fighting is a, they, they've already broken you down psych psychologically and they just try to make you as mad as they can. And, um, if you're with a cool woman, they'll, they'll take responsibility for that and they'll eventually forgive you.

Um, so anyways, all right, so you said that she was acting like one. Okay. Since then she's had her panties in a twist and thinks I owe her an apology. I haven't given her one. My thoughts are that if anyone male or female is acting like a cunt, I can call them a cunt. What's your thought thoughts on women calling women a cunt? And have you gotten into trouble for calling a woman a cunt? I've never done that, uh, to a woman that I've dated.

Have I ever called a woman a cunt? You know, it's funny as much as I use that word. I don't think I've ever done that. Um, no, I don't do the name calling thing. As angry as I am if I ever done that. I've definitely like, yeah, fuck you. You're fucking psycho. I've done that.

But I don't, I don't do the, uh, I don't do the, the, the fucking the, uh, those classics. I don't, I don't, I don't break out the classics. I don't say bitch cunt. I don't say any of that. Um, yeah, I don't, I just don't, I saw, I saw that early on in my life that that doesn't work and I saw what it does to a relationship. I just saw it. Um, you know, I had, I had a paper route when I was a kid.

So, you know, you get to step into a lot of people's homes and watch a little movie trailer. And, uh, a lot of times you're walking up to the house and you can hear the, the director's cut of what's going on before you went in there. You know, so I saw a lot of that, you know, being from Massachusetts, there was a lot of hotheads and, uh, I don't know as much as, as a dick as I am. Um, I've never done that and I can tell you that it gets you nowhere. So, um, and the thing, the stubborn thing that you're doing right now that you're not apologizing for it is going to cause her to dig her heels in.

And what you're doing is you're creating this toxic fucking cesspool in your relationship. Okay. You could have said a bunch of other words and you went to DEF CON five or whatever the fucking, is it one is one the worst or is five the worst, whatever the worst one, you went nuclear honor. I think you should apologize and just say for the record, I didn't say you were a cunt. I respect you enough to not call you a cunt. I just said you were acting like what?

Okay. I won't do that in the future. I was wrong. And don't even, don't even defend you. Just say, I apologize for what I said. I shouldn't have said it. Just, just apologize. All right.

And there'll be some rigid residual shift, but I can tell you right this right now, if you're going to make a relationship work when you're in the wrong, you have to apologize. You have to do that because if you don't apologize, if you always get your fucking back up, if you fight him every fucking step of the way, then you stop being a person to them. You just this thing. You just this loud, annoying fucking thing. Okay. But if you say you're sorry, if you ever, if you say like, you know what, you're right

and blah, blah, blah, blah, the times when you actually are defending your position, you have clout because you've admitted that you were wrong when you were wrong. So there you go. Now I'm not saying she wasn't being a cunt. Okay. Now that's the type of thing. If you want to say that, that's what you say when you got you one fucking buddy who for the most part can keep his fucking mouth shut.

Even then you can't depend on that. Okay. If you're ever going to call your woman a cunt, you fucking do it. You go for a drive and you do it in your car by yourself and you yell everything that you want to yell because she's not listening to you. You make all your fucking points. You fucking crush it. You give your closing argument to the invisible jury inside your car and then in the end,

you know, and if you actually stopped for a second and listen to me, you don't understand that, but you can't because you're such a fucking cunt. Right. And then you look over, you know, at the other person sitting there at the red light with you. And if it's another guy, if it's me, I'm going to laugh, you know, not at you, but I'm going to laugh knowing what the fuck you're doing. And if it's a woman, she's probably going to laugh knowing what the fuck you're doing.

If she's a cunt, she's going to fucking squint her eyes at her and be more of a cunt. There you go. So, um, yeah, I do not know what I ever do that. I would to the, to the, to my wife, I would never fucking do that. I wouldn't do that to any woman that I was in business with. I wouldn't do that with any fucking, I wouldn't do that in general. But, uh, generally speaking, when I talk about people, um, I kind of just call men cunts. I think it's funny to call a man a cunt, to call a woman a cunt is, uh, it's just not

funny. Calling a guy a cunt is fucking hilarious. And I stand by that. All right. Not saying that this is not cunts. God knows that word exists for a fucking reason, but, uh, it's just too fucking mean. And I'm telling you, you lose, you lose in the end because, uh, you know, they can just make your life miserable.

And every court of law generally speaking out there is going to side with them. And next thing you know, you will never play drums again because she's going to take them from you. All right. Not the fucking baby. Okay. That's the podcast for this week. God bless you.

All right. You fucking cunts. Uh, go fuck yourselves and I will check in on you on Thursday. Thank you.