Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 10-21-24

Episode Date: October 21, 2024

Bill rambles about getting to Paris, broken luggage, and 'closure'. Gametime:  Download the Gametime app, create an account, and use code BURR for $20 off your first purchase.  Terms apply. Again, create an account and redeem code [Spell out BURR] for $20 off.  SimpliSafe:  Protect your home with 50% off a new SimpliSafe system, plus a free indoor security camera, when you sign up for Fast Protect Monitoring at www.SimpliSafe.com/BURR Policy Genius:  Save time and money on providing a financial safety net for your family. Head to www.policygenius.com/BURR

So I travel a lot. I mean a lot perhaps too much to some of you, but that's kind of my gig, right? So I'm out there. I'm living out of suitcases or suitcase sometimes if I bring the big boy and I want all the comforts of home That's why I stay at an Airbnb whenever possible recently I had some gigs in Fort Collins, Colorado And I was with my friends and we were shooting some stuff and before we got to the gigs We were like, let's just get an Airbnb and it is just a more comforting existence you have a kitchen you have a yard you know it's communal living it's just a less stressful place more enjoyable experience so when I go on tour you know like I'll be going on tour

in a couple months I always am like well could my place be an Airbnb you know just to have someone watching your place while you're gone and make a little bit of money. And the answer to that is yes, yes, it can be an Airbnb. It's really just as simple as listing your place and letting it earn a little extra cash while you're away. So imagine someone staying at your home in Los Angeles while you're out there exploring the world. Turn your home into an Airbnb.

Give it a shot. You might be surprised at how rewarding it can be. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.ca slash host. Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's time for the Monday Morning Podcast for Monday, October 21st, 2024. You hear that? You hear that? What's going on, how are you?

Hope you could hear that. That was one of those sirens that you're hearing in Europe. I'm in Paris now. I arrived... I don't know. Two hours ago. I'm so happy because I have three performances this week. One, Thursday night. Two, Wednesday night. Three,ardi, Mercredi, Jeudi soir.

Et puis je suis fin. That's it. Anyway, I am out here and I'm going to have a good time doing my act in English. Obviously in between I'm going to be fucking trying out my French and all of that shit. It's been a long time. I haven't been here in like three years. It's overcast or whatever. But I am jet lagged.

I used to know how to say jet lagged in French. I can't fucking remember. I don't fucking remember. Anyway, they broke my fucking luggage. Because like an asshole, I didn't realize remember. Anyway, they broke my fucking luggage, because like an asshole, I didn't realize, you know, you know, stupid fucking locks. First of all, you mean it's it's a plastic lock. It's so dumb.

So I don't know. I'm just putting the luggage in the car. If the numbers switch, they were locked, you know, terrorism. They got to break the fucking things open. So I get my luggage My clothes are hanging out of it and shit They broke both bags Fucking assholes, but I get it fucking asshole terrorists and

Colonists, whatever the fuck you call them, whoever created the terrorists, the English, I'm blaming the English. I'm blaming the English. The English are so fucking bad, they create even like white, there's even white terrorists against them. They literally piss everybody off. Anyway, and we're following in their footsteps because we got their fucking blood in us. And with that, and with that, and with that, this is the podcast.

I wish I wasn't so tired. I'm going to do my best here to get through this. Oh Jesus, you don't want to hear that. I'm going to do my best like a fucking backup. I'm going to game. I'm going to game manage this podcast. Um, I was watching Georgia beating the shit out of fucking the Texas Longhorns and then they started coming back, but I think they held them off.

I saw until the third quarter and then my kids came in and that was the end of that. I missed all the pro football. I saw the scores. I hate to tell you this but the fucking betting against the Patriots every week has just been a lock for me. They're not only they not, they're not even remotely coming close to fucking cover and spreads. How about Michigan losing to the fight in the lion eye? And how about those helmets that the fighting a lion eye had? Those things were the shit. And how about this? And how about that? And how about... how the fuck do you say jet lagged? I mean I Can't remember anyway, I'm just gonna do that the whole fucking thing my back is better Finally here's one for you. Here's a back stretch. I came up with on the plane because sitting down has been messing up my back

If you have like that back pain, that's like, you know, in like your lower back, you know, it's funny. Some listener goes like, maybe you have kidney stones, kidney stones. I thought I had back pain, but I had fucking kidney stones. I think I would know the difference between throwing out my fucking back and passing a kidney stone thrown out. Your back is one thing I've seen.

I saw Joe Barton pass a fucking kidney stone at the Rose bowl tailgate. Um, that was not back pain. So anyway, I kind of came up with this, this stretch that really worked for me. So you're sitting there, right? You're in the, you're in the airplane chair there and I cross my because it's lower my lower left back right so I cross my left leg over my right and I have my foot resting right on the knee the left foot resting on my right knee, basically that. Then I reach up with my left hand and stretch over to the right. And I take my right hand and I press down

on the knee of my left leg. And then with my right foot, I lift up onto the ball of it. Why would I think an audio you could understand that opened the hip up and kind of freed up the nerve? Cause I was really worried that I was gonna be fucking 10 hours on a plane and I was gonna be in traction this week so, oh Billy, oh Billy's having a hell of a day. I made so many rookie mistakes.

I didn't make sure that my luggage wasn't locked. I get it, they get a fucking bust of things. Those goddamn bags, they've been everywhere. I got my little fucking Paris sticker on it from fucking 10 years ago. I got to start all over again. And then I packed my toiletries. I checked the bag.

And what I usually do, pro move here, if you have any sort of liquids, lotions, or anything, you just untwist the cap just a little bit so the air pressure stays the same and then the cap doesn't fucking, you know, burst open during the flight and shoot fucking whatever, shaving cream, lotion or whatever all over the inside of your plastic bag. Oh Billy, oh for two! Gonna hear those sirens all week when oh no no no no Anyway, let's let's talk a little talk a little sports here the New York Yankees are going to the World Serious and You know is fucking hilarious. I had like three friends of mine Yankee fans and they had their head in the oven after losing whatever they lost game was it three I think it was game three and they were like no

this is a devastating loss I'm like you're still up two games to one you're a 300 million dollar team going up against a hundred million dollar team but no these are the kind of losses that can really affect you they came back and won the next two games I was I texted one of my friends who's a Yankee fan I said don't ever send me another panic text about the Cleveland Guardians by the way why didn't they just go with the tribe could they gotten away with that the Cleveland Guardians. By the way, why didn't they just go with the tribe? Could they gotten away with that? The Cleveland Tribe could just add a. The Guardians, they just sound like they're fucking rent a cops.

Guardians of the Galaxy, Guardians of Lake Erie. And I feel like the Dodgers are going to close out the Mets. It's going to be Yankees and Dodgers. You can have $600 million with the fucking baseball players out there. I haven't looked at like payrolls because I was like, I was like, you know, rooting for the Mets. I'm going to fuck the Dodgers with that giant payroll. I looked up the Dodgers payrolls, like 320 million.

Then I looked up the Mets ands like 320 million. Then I looked up the Mets and the Mets they somehow spent more money. But I've been enjoying the baseball and but I do have to I keep harping on this. I just think these home run trots and bat flips are just fucking bizarre. And I don't understand why as a stand up comedian, I can't drop an F bomb, but they can clearly be dropping F bombs right in. Let's fucking go fucking motherfucking bitch. Yeah, motherfucker.

The whole way around the basis. I don't understand what the big deal is. People have been hitting home runs in Major League Baseball for over a century and no one ever needed to do that. I don't understand the fucking punching yourself in the chest like Celine Dion cursing your fucking brains out and then the new thing too is I love right before we get to the third base bag, you got to do your little fucking, what's that Irish dance with the wooden shoes or whatever the fuck they do? The forbidden dance of the fucking Phantom of the Opera. One of those things that people with that like save programs know about.

You ever see those sad people? They have their programs just on the shelf of all the fucking things they went to. This was the Auto Show and then I saw Rave. It was a musical about Burning Man and they just save all of them. I don't even know what the fuck I'm talking about. man and they just save all of them. I don't even know what the fuck I'm talking about. Uh, I'm going to remember that jet lag thing. The second I fucking stop this podcast, I swear to God. Um, what else?

Oh, I watched the Moto GP. I'm so caught up with Moto GP. I even saw the sprint How about that fucking crash? I can't believe the dude on the yellow bike. I forget his name. Is it Marco Pasecki? I can't believe he didn't break his legs the way he was ragdolling and After they crashed the other dude was so maverick vinales was it he

was so fucking mad he jumped up and he gave the other guy the finger and the other guy wasn't moving I was joking with that with a buddy of mine and I was like I think he was just mad so he jumped up and he gave him the finger then he looked going like oh fuck that guy isn't moving please don't die because then it's gonna be like how could you give the finger, then he looked going like, oh, fuck, that guy isn't moving. Please don't die. Cause then it's going to be like, how could you give the finger to a man dying after falling off a motorcycle? Um, so Jorge Martin won the, uh, won the sprint, which is seven points. And then Pekka Pekka Benyai was like, I don't know where the fuck he was.

He wasn't in the top floor four. So all he got was one point. So I think Jorge picked up six points there. And then on the main race, I'd never seen this happen before. They do the warm up lap. They all come to a stop. Marc Marquez is like, I think he's like second. And they got those tear away visors

if you get some stuff on it. So he tears away his visor right before the lights go out and the race starts. And he fucking throws the thing over his shoulder. It floats in the air and lands underneath his back tire. So when he lets out the clutch and he rolls on the throttle, like he fishtailed left, right,, and at like 10 bikes went past him. He went from second to like 12th and within the first two turns he had already

passed four people. It was unbelievable. And he came all the way from back then that horrific start to actually win the race. And he had a great back and forth with Jorge Martin at the end of the race and I feel like with two laps left Jorge just said fuck it you know I'm picking up another four points on Peco this will get me you know I guess ten points over the weekend more than him I got this this weird feeling. I think Marc Marquez might take it. I don't know how far back he is. Last I checked he was in third place in the points,

but I feel like he's riding better than any of them. And they kind of saying he turned back the clock or whatever, but I just think he's, I don't know what happened. He got his confidence back, but then also he's riding the Ducati. I don't know what happened with the the Rexall Honda or whatever but it was a great race down under in Phillips Island or something. I don't even know where the fuck that is but I'm all in with that stuff. Dude I'm sorry my fucking brain is beyond fucking exhausted at this point. So, I don't even remember the flight. I just got on it and I fucking passed out.

And I woke up, it's funny, like, they always wake you up. With like an hour left in the flight, they like wake you up. It's like, why are you waking me up? I'm sleeping She wakes me up. She's like do you want breakfast? It's like who wants breakfast when they're sleeping That's as bizarre a question as if you woke me up and said you want to go play tennis I guess they're anticipating when you got up. I Think I said yes, I woke up. I just had a cup of tea and a croissant and that was the end of my flight. I didn't watch one movie. It was a really easy flight.

But now I am completely completely wiped out. You know what I keep thinking? I keep thinking hors du prix, which means, that's too expensive, right? Say share, hors du prix, unaffordable, right? But that's what I'm thinking of when I'm trying to think of jet lag. It's something like that. It's like three fucking words. Um,

all right. Do I need to like shut this off and fucking start over again? You know what? I'm just going to go into the reads. This guy's, this is fellas and ladies. This is just good. Oh, I know what I wanted to talk about. I saw that movie, the wild robot. I saw it with my lovely wife and my two kids. They all loved the movie. I thought it was a really good movie. Just a couple of weird messages in the movie that I didn't like. Not to be an overprotective parent, but I kind of felt there was no father figure.

It was all about this single mom robot. It was kind of pro-robot in this weird way way where it was kind of saying that in the future, because like the animals on the island didn't get along, predator and prey, and the robot brought them all together. And they realized that, you know, most of the reasons that they didn't like each other, the animals was because of fear, which was obviously this metaphor for racism and what the fuck's going on in the country. And so then they were kind of saying that a robot with a good heart is gonna fix it. So basically the

sociopaths who own the robots, somehow one of them is gonna be good and they're gonna solve solve all social problems. And then very subtly, there was sort of an anti-ginger message I felt in the movie. And then they did the usual thing. Somebody's parents die. I don't understand what the fascination is with kids movies. Like somebody's parent always has to fucking die. Spoiler alert on the wild robot.

The thing lands on a fucking nest of birds and fucking kills all of them except for one egg and then the little bird thinks the robot's its mom. That's the jump off point. The fox tries to eat the bird. Nobody likes the fox. The fox has red fur. All right. And then the fucking bird is a goose. But for some reason, they call it.

It doesn't have the same coloring as the other geese. It has a red bill. And they call it bright bill. And they don't like him until he basically does something to save all of them, which is sort of a reoccurring theme. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, anything with red, everybody hates it in your fucking outcast. But if you risk your life and save everybody,

like being a deer and flying in fucking IFR without any sort of raiding, towing this fat fuck who underpays midgets to make fucking toys. If you do that, then everybody will then accept you. If you do something extraordinary as a ginger, they'll let you in. And then whatever ginger character always accepts their love in the end, once they shouldn't. Like Rudolph should have been like, no, fuck you bitch, you know, fuck all you guys.

Fuck all you guys, fly your fucking sleigh yourself. Anyway, but that is a reoccurring thing, but it's still a great movie. It's still a great movie, you know,, you know, I don't know what the... I mean, robots are for fucking sociopaths who run everything. That's what it's for. Like what's his face? Oh my God, the fucking Donald Trump ads are unbelievable. It might be the greatest ads ever.

This fucking bullshit. My people, white people, we fall for it every four years that the problem is non-white people and immigrants. That's why the middle class is shrinking. Not because of the greed of these fucking assholes at the top who are white. No, it's not them. It's not them. No, no, no, no.

They can't be them. They look like us. We fall for it every fucking time. It's going to happen again. That's my prediction. I feel like it's going to happen again. Build a wall. Build a wall.

There is a wall in those fucking gated communities. You can't even get in. Those people have infinity pools overlooking fucking infinity pools. Now, those guys aren't the problem. That's not the problem. It's this guy over here who doesn't have fucking two nickels to rub together. That's why you lost your farm. Every four years, every four fucking years.

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All right. Let's get to your questions here for the week. What do I got? Tea in Paris. Hey Billy, tea tits. While you're there a trip to Mariage Ferre would be in order. It's in my opinion consistently the best tea on earth and that shop is like stepping back in time a hundred years. It's phenomenal and I think you'd enjoy it. La Maison des Trois Tays okay is also worth checking out. She knows her stuff and it's great. It's a great space to spend time in too. Enjoy Parish you ginger cunt. Oh that would be fantastic. That reminds me, I went to a coffee shop when I was in

Athens and it was a hundred years old and they had all kinds of crazy coffee. So maybe I'm getting the tea version of this Mariage Frère. Something brothers. Okay, I will try it out. Maybe I'll try like black tea or something. I just kind of go with the green tea. Oh, Billy green tea. You know, it has a lot of antioxidants. Somebody's telling me if Kiwi is really good to stave off lung cancer if you smoke a lot.

There was another thing claiming that Kiwis like rebuild your DNA. I mean, how do I know this isn't coming from the kiwi lobby? You know, and how do I know where that kiwi was made? And fucking what's in it? I have no idea. However, I've been eating kiwis lately. They're fucking delicious.

Billboard for kiwis. You should have one. They're fucking delicious. Yank Pep Talk. Dear Billy in the city Hillbilly. Love and good vibes from Germany by the way of Scotland. Oh he's a great cunt. Top cunt. I know you Yanks have a lot of moral issues to deal with during this time. What does that mean? Are those all the weirdos into politics? And yeah, you've got a history of messing up some things, to put it short. But I just want you to know that you've still got an amazing country and more freedoms than most of the world. Even when I shit on you fuckers, which is

a lot, I have great respect for the American cowboy attitude that helps shed your lives of a queen. Excited for all your future work. Love to the family back west. No, we're still, we're still, this is an English colony. We just broke free of them. We still have all of their, I don't know, it's weird. We still like look to them. Like I was doing this bit in my act where like even in

America like if you have some shit business and you want it to sound better your outgoing message you hire a voice actor that does like a British accent like hello you've reached TC by TCBY yogurt or whatever it's like fuck? You know, that all goes back to them colonizing this place and then sort of dangling the carrot that if you spoke the king's English that you could ascend this ladder up to the castle or whatever and it was all fucking bullshit. It's amway. It's amway. You're not moving up. All right? You needed to get in early. It's amway. It's amway. You're not moving up. Alright? You needed to get in early. Girlfriend's ex-boyfriend. If you quiz me, if my life was on the line and asked me what I said in the last three minutes, I would have no idea.

Girlfriend's ex-boyfriend. Hey Billy Boy, I'm 27 years girlfriend's ex-boyfriend. What is with this lingering shit? I'm 27 and live with my girlfriend of three years. She's also 27 throughout our relation relationship We've had disagreements about the amount of contact. She still has with her ex who she dated for five years When we first started dating she wanted to go and meet him for lunch so they could get closer started dating she wanted to go and meet him for lunch so they could get closer. Closure which I said yeah they're still fucking dude. Which I said yes to thinking that would be the end of that for her. Then later on yeah don't date somebody that still needs to have closure with somebody else. Then later on

I noticed they were still texting regularly about new restaurants and movies and things they enjoyed. Yeah, they're still banging. I told her that I wasn't comfortable with that and it should stop. I then found out when she was going for a new job that she had still been texting him and even calling him to talk about things and getting advice and saw messages from him saying things like, don't worry, remember how great you are, babe?

Yeah, bullshit, right? Yeah, I would say that is bullshit. So we had a big fight and we didn't talk for a while and she came back apologizing, saying what never happened again. And I made it clear that it can't ever happen again. Oh boy. You're like Robert De Niro in Casino right now. You're

letting Sharon Stone back in. Not Sharon Stone, her character before anybody starts any shit here. Now here we are living together and she went to a work function the other night and I just found out there was no work function. She went to dinner with the guy and didn't tell me about it. I found out by going on her phone and seeing messages About them planning this a week in advance. I asked her if she'd done this before and she Said only for coffee When they have met up She's given a few different excuses like I just wanted closure to put him behind me parentheses he writes again.

Yeah, she's not over this guy. And they're still banging. And that dinner was so I could tell him that we can't keep in contact. He writes, why do you need to go to dinner, book a movie and have two bottles of wine to discuss that? Yeah, dude, I mean, you know, you don't need to be fucking Colombo here to figure this one out. I'm a public sector shift worker and work nights every four days, so it's difficult to be away so much not trusting someone. We're trying to work things out, but it's been three months since that and I am still just as unhappy and things don't feel the same. Am I wrong for wanting

to break up with her and not work this out? Thank you and go fuck yourself. No dude, you're saving your life by breaking up with her. Do not marry and start a family with someone that's going behind your back like this, okay? Look, I don't know who she is, I don't know what's going on, but she's still banging that guy, is what my gut's saying. It's fucking ridiculous. It's ridiculous, it's not fair to you, it's not fair to your country, and it's not fair to the fucking Great Barrier Reef. I don't know what, I don't know what. Just get out of it. Break up with her. I can't believe you stuck around this long. So two things. You need to break up with her and figure out why you put up with this shit

for that long. And I'm not judging you because I've been there when I was younger. I was an idiot. All right? But you're not married. You don't have any kids, you can just fucking walk away from this and it's a learning lesson. You learned what you don't want. All right, now why don't you go out there and try to find, you know, stay single for a minute, shake this one off, get your closure so you're not trying to get closure.

You know, it'll be fun, you'll be amazing. There's like a 30% chance you break up with her and she's still gonna be meeting you to get closer and then she's gonna be... Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha to your friends. I'm sure all your friends will fucking tell you to walk away from her. But I'm just happy that you're not married, you don't have any kids. Alright, YouTube rec. Recommendation, I guess. Hey Bill, just wanted to tip you about Simon Fordman, one of the best channels on YouTube, a young guy fixing old cars and motorcycles. No talking, no music, no bullshit, just great filming. It's addicting to watch and even better than power washing driveways. Simon Fordman. F-O-R-D-M-A-N. I will definitely check that out. Thanks for all

the last bill and remember to smile and wave because that's all we can do by now. Well that's fantastic. You know somebody told me that they have a Tesla right and the latest update made it a self-driving car. You can still drive it yourself but it's self-driving. I don't understand why don't we get to decide on things like that? Is that what the future is going to be? Self-driving cars? And anytime you step out of line, it just drives you to the police station? So you can get re-educated? I don't know.

That shit freaks me out, man! Anyway, wow. I am definitely jet-lagged only did 34 fucking minutes and I'm literally out of shit to talk about I don't know what I don't know which I don't know who shot. I don't know who's not I don't know what else to talk about you guys gonna have to accept a short one a Short one. That's what she said. You have to accept a short one. That's what she said Podcast this week just because, oh, what is that fucking goddamn expression? I'm gonna look it up right now.

No, I can't, because I'm not online. What the fuck is it? Something collage or something, I can't remember. Anyway, I'm gonna sleep this shit off and I'm gonna probably be up till like four in the morning tonight, you know, watching, I don't know what, chips or something with subtitles, but whatever.

I'm very excited to be here. I wanna thank everybody that's bought tickets to come see my shows. I'm here with my lovely wife. I'm here with Club Soda Kenny. Bianca, Chris DeVos is going to be opening up. It's going to be a great time. You know what's funny is I should have done this podcast when I was still in the States,

but I was like, no, I know what I'm going to do. I'm going to wait until I get to France and then I'm gonna be all excited and I'll have stuff to talk about And what did I have to talk about I'm here. It's overcast. They broke my luggage and my lotion went all over my toiletries That's all that's going on. Seems pretty nice here. I don't see anybody protesting. One thing I do love about France is they will fucking protest in a minute. That used to happen in the United States and then they just systematically got rid of it. You could still protest, which is literally a right that you have and then they just systematically got rid of it. They literally you could still protest, which is literally a right that you have.

And then they're like, no, you can only protest down the street where the media isn't. This is the protest zone. You can scream your fucking brains out down the street and away from the TV cameras. We somehow put up with that. They can't get prosecuted for insider trading. We put up with that and now you can bri prosecuted for insider trading. We put up with that. And now you can bribe them in the form of a gratuity, according to the Supreme Court.

And we've had no fucking problem with that. As they're running these fucking ads, I saw them actually on one of these ads in California. California. on one of these ads in California, California, they went and they got a veteran who lost his legs in Vietnam. They're using what happened to him to try and like trash this other guy. It's just fucking, it is filthy. This is one of the, just straight across the board, across the nation.

This is one of the most filthiest fucking campaigns. It's kind of amazing, to be honest with you, the levels. They're letting immigrants in. In some cases, they're murderers and rapists. It's like this fucking murderers and rapist all over the United States. All over. Our jails are filled with them. Naturalized citizens. We can't handle a couple of more.

Are those the ones that took away the middle class? Um, is that who it was? Or was it a bunch of these fucking tech nerds from Silicon Valley who are consolidating every fucking business like that Cunton Sweden, who now owns all the music, evidently? Nope, it's not that. That's not what it is. That's not what it is. It's that family of three that just showed up from Belize.

They just destroyed the middle class. All right, I'm done. I'm not talking about this shit anymore. I don't know what I'm gonna do. I'm either gonna fall asleep for eight hours or I'm gonna go, oh, you know what sucks is I can't fucking smoke over here. I'm still in the middle of my cigar thabatical.

83 days. And this is a huge smoking city. Every other block you just see tobacco, big fucking red sign. One of my favorite cigar shops. Near the Louvre is, I'm still gonna have to go there and buy a few You know, oh my god, I just want to sit in a fucking cafe Drink fucking coffee and smoke cigars, but I'm not gonna do that

Because I can't I'm this close. I promise my daughter. I wasn't gonna smoke for a hundred fucking days So that's what I'm gonna do. All right, so that's it. By the way, I'm doing Comics Come Home again. Dennis Leary, Cam Neely, November 3rd at the TD Bank, North Boston Garden. I've yet to watch a Bruins game this year. I've been... Torel Occupé. I've been super busy. been uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh,

uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh at me in English, you'll be like, you know, your fucking English isn't good either. You're mispronouncing like literally almost every fucking word is mispronounced, but I don't act like it's an abomination and I can't understand what you're saying. You know what the fuck I'm saying.

All right. You beret-wearing cunt. It's going to be fun. And when I return, I'll be back in the race room. But I do have some goals with my helicopter, where I want to solo to. There's three where I want to solo to. There's three airports I want to go to and that are like outside the LA basin.

All of them are really fun flights. I just don't have the fucking time. I was going to fly on Saturday, but I was hanging with the wife and kids. I can't leave, I'm going to, I'm here for a few days. I was gonna see my kids for a couple days, so it's like, all right, I can't fucking, I can't take off here, right?

So, I don't know. I didn't end up flying or whatever. I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. I didn't end up flying or whatever. I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. I apologize. I'm going to go to sleep. And I hope you guys have a good day. Bonne journée. A demain.

A bientôt. Au revoir. And if you're here in Paris, I hope to see you at the shows the next three nights. I still can't believe I'm doing shows here. It's fucking amazing. I'll make up for this short podcast next week. All right. La semaine prochaine.

Okay. Au revoir. So I travel a lot, I mean a lot, perhaps too much to some of you, but that's kind of my gig, right? So I'm out there, I'm living out of suitcases, or suitcase sometimes if I bring the big boy, and I want all the comforts of home. That's why I stay at an Airbnb whenever possible. Recently I had some gigs in Fort Collins, Colorado, and I was with my friends and we

were shooting some stuff, and before we got to the gigs we were like, let's just get an Airbnb and it is just a more comforting existence. You have a kitchen, you have a yard, you know, it's communal living. It's just a less stressful place, more enjoyable experience. So when I go on tour, you know, like I'll be going on tour in a couple months, I always am like, well, could my place be an Airbnb? Just to have someone watching your place while you're gone and make a little bit of money. The answer to that is yes, yes, it can be an Airbnb.

It's really just as simple as listing your place and letting it earn a little extra cash while you're away. So imagine someone staying at your home in Los Angeles while you're out there exploring the world. Turn your home into an Airbnb. Give it a shot. You might be surprised at how rewarding it can be. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.ca slash host.