Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 10-3-16

Episode Date: October 3, 2016

Bill rambles about The Ryder Cup, owning a Pit Bull and dead people's guitars.

Hey, what's going on, it's Bill Byrne. It's time for the Monday Morning Podcast for Monday. October 3rd, 2016, what's going on, how are you? Oh shit, wait a minute, today was supposed to be the fucking first day of the pink football and I didn't see any of that shit out there. Did they abandon it? Did I dream that it went away? Ah, they probably walked away. Too many people were getting wise, they made their money. The old filthy stinkin' NFL snuck away. With all their pink money to raise awareness. We made our fucking money off of it. I thought it was in October, isn't that when the pink lady takes in all that money because everybody's suffering? Fucking asshole to buy yourself a pink yacht, isn't that how it works?

Then everybody walks around with a little fucking pink pocket square or some shit. Let's take a moment of silence to elicit all the money that is not going towards the disease we all think we're trying to fight right now. Jets pass over, fucking somebody eat some fucking cotton candy and on to the games. All right, I'm not going to be like this, okay? It's Sunday when I'm recording this. I just got back from a fun weekend. I did two nights in Madison, Wisconsin and then I did a gig in Omaha, Nebraska. Went into the Cornhuskers game versus Illinois, which is a great time. Legendary, legendary football stadium. Can't believe I finally got there. Back in the day, I used to do, I'm going to actually talk to my agent because I used to do

so many fucking college gigs back in the day when I was coming up and then somewhere along the line, you know, you get a following and then you just go to the city and you either go to the club or if you're lucky, you go to a theater or some shit and somewhere along the line. I just kind of, I got out of doing, I want to get back to doing that shit. But all I remember was I did a zillion fucking colleges in Nebraska and Kansas. I was forever flying into fucking Kansas City and driving out to Hayes. Is Hayes, Nebraska? Is it Hayes, Kansas? I can't even remember Dodge City, Grand Junction. I can't, I can't remember the names of them. It was so fucking long ago. I just remember when you got on the 80 in Nebraska. Jesus Christ, Cleo, are you going to scratch the whole podcast, buddy?

Let me help you with that. It's under your collar. I got you. I got you. I got you. There it is. There it is. Oh, look at that face. You know, when they stick their face out a little further, oh, that's the spot. There it is. Good. All right, great. Okay. Anyways, Jesus, go on, go lay down. Go lay down, buddy. Go on, go on. So you go across the, the 80. You get about halfway across the state and it was just weird, like a fucking foot bridge. We'd just go across this highway and major highway. I mean, basically take that thing all the way out to San Francisco if you go west. And I think it, I don't know where the hell that one dies. I drove the 70 the whole way. That one dies. So I drove it from like, picked it up in

like Utah off of the 15 drove the 70 all the way into like fucking Pennsylvania, like a madman. I tell you that I drove cross country in like three and a half days by myself with all my shit in my car, my big square fucking TV, you know, parking next to, you know, in parking lots, sleeping. I wouldn't even get a fucking hotel room. I got a hotel room one night, but then I had to like pick the fucking TV up and take it in. It was just a pain in the ass. So I was just like, ah, fuck it. The next night I slept in the car. Anyways, I drove like a fucking lunatic like 70, 80 miles an hour the whole way there. And didn't get pulled over till I got to the George Washington bridge. And that's when I got pulled over and the cop came up the window and go, you know,

it's funny. I drove here all the way from Los Angeles. The guy goes, shut the fuck up and give me a, he didn't, he didn't, he didn't give a shit about how, how I thought it was a funny little moment that, you know, I just drove fucking 2,500 miles and I didn't have a problem. And I got down to the last three miles of my trip. And then I'm getting a ticket. And this, this man did not give a shit. And he gave me a ticket. So anyways, I had done a bunch of college gigs out there. So throughout the years, that's how I went to all the baseball stadiums, football and all that shit when I was on the road. And every fucking time I would be anywhere near Nebraska. If they had a game, it was always at night. Or if they had a game, they were on the road and I

was never able to go. So fortunately, I finally got to go. And it was pretty cool. Actually, met Larry, the cable guy there. I'd never met him seen him, you know, blow up throughout the years. And got to hang out with him. And he's like the fucking president out there. So like they had like that all their Heisman trophy winners were there that day. So Mike Rosear came in and actually got a picture with him and Larry, the cable guy, photo bombed it in the background. I was there with Nate Craig. We had a great fucking time. So thanks to Larry for letting us in to his, his, his fucking, what do you call the living room, the suite there? It was just great. But anyways, the

stadium was amazing. Those people are fucking loud too. That wasn't like the most riveting game either. Like the first half, of course, the part that I saw before I had to drive back up to Omaha kind of sucked. And also, it really sucked because I bet Nebraska and they were given 20 and a half points. And halfway through the second quarter, I'm just thinking, why the fuck would I give 20 and a half points to Lovey Smith? This guy, this guy fucking coached in the NFL. Sorry, I'm yawning here. Guy coached in the NFL for like, I don't know how many goddamn years. Now he's at the college level. You're gonna give, I'm gonna give this guy 20 and a half fucking points. And Larry kept going, Don't worry about it. Don't

worry about it. We scored more points in the fourth quarter than anybody else. And they actually came back and they made it close. But by then I was long gone. And we drove up and had a great show in Omaha, which I've never done a gig there. I've landed at that fucking airport a zillion times. But I have never, never did like an adult show that was always like a college show. So that was it was just a great fucking weekend. But I come home today. I came home really early because I want to come home and watch the Patriots see if we can go for now. And I knew this was going to be a tough, a toughest game because Rex Ryan really gets up for the fucking Patriots and Bill Belichick and all that. And we got a butts kicked. Basically we lost on all levels offensive

line. Couldn't protect whoever the fuck's our quarterback NC State guy there. Got our asses kicked on special teams. And you know, when you keep going three and out, your defense is going to get tired. But I got to tell you something, after all of that bullshit to only lose 16 to nothing. I was pretty happy with that. And now fucking what's his face Tom Brady's back. So it's over. It's fucking over. The whole fucking thing is behind us now. You know, I was worried, what if we go on four, you know, one and three would suck two and two would be great. Three and one would be ridiculous and four and oh is like fucking impossible. We went three and one. And then meanwhile, the cry baby cults, oh, your balls were too squishy. That's why we lost.

Right. Those fucking cunts went one and three. Those fucking cunts flew to the other side of the world to get their asses whipped by the fucking Jacksonville Jaguars. You know what? And in the end, all of this bullshit, the Patriots are three and one, the Colts are one and three. The football gods have spoken fucking horseshit dumbest fucking most pathetic as fucking every every fucking that drives me nuts. I keep saying I'm going to stop talking about keep going up and I just I keep looking up the Colts and all the fucking shit that they did and just nothing they get nothing. Suck for luck. Remember that? Let's tank a whole fucking football season. Been able to luck wishes they didn't do that, huh? Anyway, so it's all back to normal and you guys can

all fucking relax because I'm never going to talk about this again. I'm never going to trash Jim or Jim or say again, I make a promise. I'll promise you guys that I will go at least I'd say 30 minutes into the next podcast before I trash him. Now, I don't know, whatever the next fucking things he does, I'll fucking trash him again. But I'm just like Tom Brady's coming back, coming back against Cleveland, which is a decent team. It's where fucking Bellacheck used to coach and then they let him go. They fired Bill Bellacheck. Who knew? Who knew? Did anybody watch that Clemson fucking Louisville game, man? I was on stage when I was in Omaha, so I missed the first half, but I came back about midway through the

third quarter. What a fucking unbelievable game. I also miss Tennessee. Tennessee had like, if it wasn't for the Clemson Louisville game, basically had the game a week, two weeks in a row. I think they're undefeated at four and oh, or five and oh, two and oh on the SEC. Just a bunch of great games. And I got to talk to people like my people, all right, people in Massachusetts, people in New York, places where I've lived. Those are pro football cities. I'm telling you, you're fucking missing out. I feel bad for you if you're not into college football. I understand if you're married, you got kids, and at some point you got to take them out for a fucking ice cream. I get that, but you're fucking missing out. I would just say, just pick a fucking team. I was never like a

B.C. Eagles fan. I just now, I liked, I liked Boston University and their football team, you know, doesn't exist anymore for whatever fucking reason. I don't know what happened. I used to go to those games when I was a kid at Nickison Field there, where I also went and I saw a USFL game. I saw the Boston Breakers versus the Washington Federals. We won, of course. The place was packed too. I don't know. So just pick a fucking team. Just pick a team to follow. Don't be a douche and pick Alabama, but you got to pick somebody competitive or you're not going to get into it. So I picked LSU and I'm going to see LSU next week when they play Florida. And I don't know, it's going to be a weird, I hope that game doesn't suck. I didn't see how LSU did this week, but I know that they

fired less in their fucking offensive coordinator. So it's kind of crazy to do that in the middle of the fucking season. I've never really seen that before. But anyways, I made an ask of myself, as always, when I, when I landed in Nebraska, because we had to get up at seven in the morning, because I thought the fucking game was at 1230. I don't know if when I was out here, when I bought the tickets, if it just said it was just doing like Pacific Coast time, because we were two hours behind him. I don't know why you would do that. So I thought the game was at 1230. So I got like seven AM flights out of fucking Madison, Wisconsin, connecting Chicago, O'Hare, which is always a nightmare. You know, that fucking airport's like nine miles long, right?

So we fucking, we connect there and then we land. And when I got off, I was so fucking tired. And I'd gone out the night before like a fucking asshole. And when I landed, I saw this kid when I was going to the rental car place, he had this Kansas Jayhawks shirt on. And I've always loved Kansas. I don't know why I was one year, I just, I started watching them. I just liked them, you know. And so I've always wanted to go to the field house and everything. So I saw it. I was like half asleep. And I was just like, Oh, shit, Kansas Jayhawks fan. He goes, Yeah, I go, they play in Lincoln or Omaha. Like I wasn't even thinking like in the kids like they play in Lawrence, Kansas. And I just walked away and I was so fucking tired. It didn't even hit me till Nate started

laughing at me. I was like, Oh my God, he's going to think I'm a fucking idiot. He was like, Hey, listen to the podcast and everything. I was just like, Oh yeah, Kansas. Do they play in Nebraska? That's basically what I said to him. He just sort of looked at me like, No, he probably walked away like, Wow, that really isn't an act. He really is that fucking stupid. So anyways, I want to read this thing to you. This is one of my favorite things that I've seen in a while. The Ryder Cup in golf. All right, I'm sorry that this is all fucking sports. You know, I can talk Trump for a second if you want to. What is this horseshit that they get to guys fucking tax information? Somebody sent that in. All right. I love everybody go. Oh, somebody,

somebody that works from sends it in. Now, why aren't they being prosecuted for something? Like, you just can't take somebody's fucking tax refund and send it in. And then the fucking they all they got is like, they got like one year of his shit or something like that. And they just looked at it and he claimed to fucking 900 something million dollar loss when his casino went out of business or something like that. And then they go, um, and he legally found these loopholes. Key word there is legal. So I don't understand. I fucking can't stand the guy. And I'll, I'll tell you, I'll tell you, I'm not voting for that fucking guy. I'm not voting for fucking Hillary either. And fuck all you cunts who go, Well, if you don't vote for Hillary, that's like vote for

Trump, go fuck yourself. It isn't. I want to try to find somebody. You know, that's, that's, I don't know, remotely fucking honest to try to encourage more honest people to run for this fucking office. I just don't understand all the pussies out there. They're just cave and go, these are our two choices. I'll just fucking pick one of these. And if you know, they like to keep writing, I guess this is guy Gary Johnson. People are freaking out about like he's the next fucking great white hope, you know, he's going to somehow stop the bankers, right? Or some shit. And, uh, so they keep writing these fucking articles because they're, they're worried that they just make the assumption that if you would, if you didn't vote for Gary Johnson, that you would

vote for, um, what's her face? Oh, crooked fucking, uh, Kathy there, Hillary Clinton. I hate when they do that. Like they don't understand what people are doing when they vote for a third option. You know what I mean? It's, you're saying fuck these two people and fuck both those political parties. They just always assume that when you go that to that third party, that you're really a Democrat, like there's no Republican out there sitting there going, there's no fucking way I could vote for Trump or Hillary. You know what I mean? I don't know. Anyways, let's, let's, uh, but the guy, like somebody swipes his fucking tax return that can't be fucking legal. I don't think this guy has it laying around somebody. It's from 1995. Somebody obviously snooping

for the fucking thing. Like basically there was a legitimate crime committed. The New York Times looks at his fucking tax refund. All they can say is that he legally found loopholes. So great. So then he didn't cheat on his taxes. Um, I don't know, like, like the fucking Clintons pay taxes. What the fuck are they doing? Throw their daughter a $3 million fucking wedding. The best, the most money Bill Clinton ever made was four and a grand a year fucking his president until he started giving all those speeches to the cunts that funded them. They washed all their bribe money. They're all filthy. Oh, I'm the angry voter. I'm going to write in my dog. Hey, when people, now that's, that's throwing your fucking

vote away. Like everybody in Washington goes, wow, this guy was so fed up. He wrote his dog's name in guys. I think we all need to stop and figure out what we're doing. Cleo, why are you so itchy? Cleo, did you get into something? Stock, we got this great backyard is waiting for the fucking kitchen to get done. Did I tell you guys what happened? Did I tell you when they went to the floor with the fuck they found? That's not going to make it go an extra two fucking weeks. Um, and we don't have this place as long as that. So I think I'm going to be staying in a fucking hotel. It's just, I don't know why we did it. I don't know why we did it. I mean,

I was kind of all for, Hey, why don't we just stay in the house until it catches on fire. And when the cloth wiring flashes or whatever the fuck it does, and just burns the whole thing down, we just walk away from this. Wouldn't that be great? Do you ever think of how fucking great having everything you own just burned to the fucking ground? As long as you got some money in the bank, obviously, if you don't have any money in the bank, that would be fucking. But if you just get, you know, you're working, you can just walk away from all of it, right? No more trips to goodwill, right? No more nothing sentimental that you just can't get rid of anymore. It's just all you got the fucking shirt on your back. You like fucking Johnny, Apple seat. You know,

I got to tell you the longer I live, the more urge I have. Like I was out in Nebraska and I was fucking in like Wisconsin and I was envious. I was like, look at all this fucking space these people have. Who has trees? They have water. Shit doesn't just catch on fire out here. Sure, they got them tornadoes out there. You know, but I went down this road when I was in Wisconsin. I swear to God, it's like one of those roads that they shoot a car commercial on. I was just out there like in Nebraska going, this right here, this is where you could actually, you could have a fast car. You could ride a fucking motorcycle and not worry that someone's gonna fucking kill you every three seconds. You could actually get your car, you know, up to 80, 90 miles an hour out

here. LA, you got to try to do it at three in the morning and you get on the fucking highway and that's the only time those poor baskets can try to fix the fucking thing. So then they have it all go down to one lane and you're sitting in traffic again at three in the morning. So it's beautiful. I fucking love Wisconsin, man. I'm a big fan of Milwaukee too. And Nebraska was the shit and I don't know. I think I would slowly, you know who would go crazy? My wife would go crazy if I brought her out there. First of all, cause she'd probably be like one of the only black people in fucking Nebraska, but, but I would also be able to leave, you know, I could fly around and go do gigs and go to a big city and then fucking come back, you know, be hilarious. Then, then she'd

want to be a road dog with me. Like then she'd be all excited. Where are you going? I want to go. Cause like, I don't know if you guys noticed, but Nia never goes on the road with me unless I go, I'm going, if I go to Miami, all of a sudden she wants to support me because I get lonely out there. If I go to New York city, anytime I leave the country, you know, but when I really fucking need her, you know, when I'm fucking going to, I don't know, going out to El Paso or some shit like that, but I can't even say that because I had a great time when I was there. That's the fucking thing. When I go on the road, I, whatever people do, I just, people, there's no way people just sit around not having fun. They're going to figure out how they're going to have fun.

You just got to figure out where the fuck it is. And, you know, who knows. Next thing you know, you're in Jacksonville, Florida at a fucking gun range, shooting a gun with the silencer actually got to fucking do that. And everybody, whenever they bring up Jacksonville, oh my God, there's nothing there. All I think about is feeling like I was in the secret service, right? Right, Cleo? One of those James Bond fucking movies, they was a disappointing sound, by the way. Um, the silencer, it didn't have that cool fucking movie sound. It goes like, didn't sound like that. A metal clanky sound. It was really quiet. If you were a light sleeper, you'd wake up and be like, did somebody just get killed in the other room? But if you're,

if you're like a normal sleeper, Cleo, you can't scratch the whole podcast, all right? Now, god damn it, you weren't scratching it all before I started. And the second this thing comes on, you just lay on the wires. Come here. Do you have any concept of a podcast? Do you? You can't just lay on the mixer. You're just looking at me like, can you fucking start rubbing my belly here or what? What are we trying to do here? Um, all right, so let me, let me get to my favorite fucking thing I've read in a long time. Cleo, you got to get off the wires. That's my fault. I called you off. I love you, buddy, but you got to go. Go on. Get over there. Go on. Go see mommy. Go see mommy. Go on. Go on. I love that she knows what that means. All right. I got to read

this fucking thing here. All right. So the Ryder cup is like, uh, I don't know what it is. I fucking hate golf. I don't hate it. I like smoking cigars. I like getting drunk, but I just can't fucking, I can't fucking asshole stand over the ball for like nine hours. You're going to slice it. Just fucking hit the thing and then drop another one and they all fucking, you want to talk about fucking cheaters? Jesus fucking Christ. Yeah, I had a six, six, what? Fucking lost balls, you asshole. We fucking saw you whacking at it. One of my favorite things to do when it golf is I count every fucking stroke. If I'm on the fucking, if I'm teeing off, whatever the fuck you call it, all right. If I swing and miss, I count that fucking thing because people are not,

no, no, no, no, no. I was trying that counts. You're cheating, cunt. You know, there's so much cheating and fucking golf because the people generally speaking who play it are not fucking athletic. You got a lot of bankers. You got a lot of stuff. Sure. You got a lot of people just motivated by fucking money. They were never picked in gym class. Okay. They had their underwear yanked up over their fucking head and it had this anger in them. Oh, I'm going to show them someday when I come back to the fucking high school reunion, I'm going to have this fucking unbelievable car or whatever the fuck it is that deal or maybe they're born into money or maybe I'm just completely full of shit and I don't like the sport because I am, my legs are white like the

mozzarella. Maybe that's what it is. But anyways, I've been telling you guys that I really like wearing golf clothes. It's so fucking comfortable. It's breathable and movable because there's so many fat, fucking unathletic fucks that play that game and they got to walk around. Who's kidding who they get the golf cart and they water up to their fucking ball. You know what I mean? They got all this shit. They're stooped. They're fucking socks matches a stripe in their collar, right? They got the baggy shit on. And you know them when they go, when they go fucking, when they go back with the club and they got to move that, that fucking mush of mantits and belly underneath that shirt. You know what I mean? Like the way your lat is or where that lat should be,

right? There's all this. They said it's all marbled and that shirt has to fucking stretch, right? So because of those fucking people complaining to the clothing companies, like that I'm telling you, the shit is crazy how comfortable it is. I love it. My wife hates it. So anyway, so the Ryder Cup is basically when the Americans play, I don't know, I guess we play Great Britain and somebody else who gives a fuck about golf and it's country versus country. It's like the Olympics, except nobody really gives a shit, right? I know people care, right? So anyways, there's some fucking guy, Danny Willett, and he has a brother and his brother just went off on Americans, the American fans. It's fucking hilarious. And I guess of course it's some

big goddamn controversy because somebody had the nerve to call Americans, you know, I don't, I don't, I don't, I've never understood why, why you can't do that or why if somebody, if your brother says something fucked up and you're in the public eye, all of a sudden you have to answer for it. Like this guy was like stammering, like apologizing for the guy. I'd be like, who said it? Your brother, who? Who said the thing that Europe said it? Who said it? My brother, right? Yeah, well fucking go talk to him, you cunt. The fuck. And why can't they say that? Why can't they say that? And why does that make the sport lose fans? You know what I mean? You know why? Because there's fucking kids in the world. Oh, my kid heard

that. Well, did he? You know what else he heard? He heard you fucking your wife the other night. All right, that's his mother. What do you think that did to him? What do you think was worse? Oh, Jesus, Bill. I'm always grabby when I, when I fly that day. All right, here we go. So anyways, so I guess they're playing each other. And I guess we play in England in golf or some shit, like anybody gives a fuck. I guess a lot of people give a fuck, but I don't. So I assume no one else does because I'm self centered. So anyways, his brother was texting with somebody. This is once again, I don't know how somebody found this if it was a fucking email or whatever. Well, when I read for Danny Willett was quietly going

about his business during a Ryder Cup practice round Wednesday morning when all hell was breaking loose on social media thanks to a scathing screed his brother wrote for a website in which he called Americans fat, stupid, greedy, classless bastards. You know what I love about that? That guy, he just hit the nail on the head. Can we honestly, can we fucking argue any of that generally speaking? Come on, let's go through a fat, you got us stupid. Yeah. Yeah, you know, I'll give you that greedy, absolutely, classless bastards to totally 100 fucking percent. Dude, this guy's insults on the fucking golf fans that show up to this thing. It's like when Larry Bird would just be doing the three point contest

and he just kept shooting him through the net, you know, and when he ends it with classless bastards, that's the two point ball, the colored one in the end. Dude, I read this thing like the headline says family few will, will let's brother have the fuck you say his name. It just says colon Americans, fat, stupid, greedy bastards. And I was on the plane and I burst it out laughing. And I was like, please let this article be as much of a joy to read as the headline. And it was, he said the man, here we go. Stupid. I can't even say this word. The excoriating of American golf Shirley was not a part of Darren Clark's captain's handbook, part of which states, the visiting team shall not rile up the opposition's home crowd with trash talk.

These were some of the choices of his words in the article. I got to read this fucking article. This is what he said for the Americans to stand a chance of winning. They need their bang mob of imbeciles. The only thing that can make this funny is listening to this guy say it in an English accent. This is the greatest shit I've written a while to get their bang mob of imbeciles to caress their egos every step of the way. Team Europe needs to shut those groupies up. They need to silence the pudgy basement dwelling irritants stuffed on cookie dough and pissy beer pausing between mouthfuls of hot dogs so they can scream bubba booey until their jelly faces turn red. He just keeps going. They need to stun the angry unwashed make America great again swarm

desperately gripping their concealed carry compensators and belting out a mini belting out a mini erection inducing mashed potato hoping to impress their cousin. They need to smash the obnoxious dads with their shiny teeth Lego man hair medicated ex-wife and resentful children. Oh my god if I wasn't so lazy I'd give this guy a standing ovation. How do you get mad? I mean how do you get when a guy goes that hard how the fuck do you get mad at that? I mean that's hilarious. Come on man you know you could do the same thing about them they're their fucked up teeth the fat fucking fish and chip eating jackasses neo-nazi fucking races beating the fuck out of each other at their fucking stupid ass pussy fucking football games

you can't use your hands everybody flopping around the ground dude soccer is such a shitty fucking sport women's soccer is actually better than the men's all right and I'm just talking legit I don't mean like volleyball because they're fucking hot it dude look at the fucking ass on her I'm not looking at them even remotely even objectifying them I'm just saying straight up as a sport the fucking ladies play somebody trips them they get up these fucking guys are rolling around on the ground oh my god it's it's it's like watching musical theater without the fucking music it's horrific there so I did that now just does does my brother have to apologize to me uh it's fucking standing ovation what the fuck I gotta give that guy a shout out not to Danny because Danny

then for some reason he asked you know he laughed his fucking balls off and you know in some really comfortable clothes golfing clothes he must have been laughing his fucking ass off and just be like dude why the fuck did you do that to me um he just goes uh I just after that fucking masterpiece all right whether you agree with it or not that was a fucking lego man hair our pissy beer come on they have they have fucking concealed carry compensators okay and then this is what he says you know off the record he laughed his balls off and then on the record he's just like I just like to apologize to everyone involved I spoke to him on the phone after and I was made aware after I was made aware of what was being said and I said to

Pierre I was obviously disappointed at what was said and what was written about the American fans they took me under their wing fantastically back in April I guess when he won the masters and as soon as they got off the golf course I went to see Davis and me and Davis had a chat for a few minutes about it all he took it really well and he's uh he took it really well they were fucking laughing their balls off and you know what's funny is then they got they got a picture of of the American fans you know and these there's three people in the photo and there's not one of them that I would not go out and get shit faced with I mean these these yeah these are the fucking people you need those people these are the people they're not gonna do anything in life

they're gonna watch other people do shit in life and go fucking nuts right when you accomplish something and when you don't they're gonna say you suck and talk a bunch of shit about what they would have done right who doesn't love being that guy they're all draped in the fucking one guy's dressed like uncle uncle Sam another guy for whatever reason he has an American flag shirt and then he has like a park ranger hat on maybe that's a golf thing and the other guy has got the fucking he's got the American flag over his head while wearing a baseball hat he looks like an he looks like an old woman like when she like he's wearing like a shawl or something oh that's fucking late you know and there's nothing better too the dumber the fans are at

a golf event when they're around pros that's one of my favorite things you know what I mean because you just say everything about like tennis and golf is like stop talking you know what I mean it's fucking you look at the fucking NBA you're going to take a fucking foul shot like a third of the stadium is doing everything but taking their dicks out and shaking it in your face and these guys can consistently make it how about a little focus tennis is the same way quiet please quiet please you know what I mean they don't boo they whistle oh speaking of which there's a fucking incredible documentary out there about Serena Williams last year when she tried to do the Serena slam I mean she won four in a row I mean she won the

US Open but it was in 2014 and then she won the Australian then she won French and then she won Wimbledon so that's four in a row right there she did it the way Tiger Woods did it they like four majors went by and but I guess but Serena Williams actually not Serena one sorry Stephie Graff actually did it and somebody else I forget her fucking name actually I believe I haven't looked it up in a while but I believe that they did it in a calendar year so I'll give them that one but when they will break in Tiger Woods balls give me a fucking break nobody's even come close to doing that and he fucking he won four in a row so whatever and if you've read Andre Agassi's book Open which even if you're not into sports which

I don't think anybody left listening to this podcast is not into sports after this fucking shit that's all I've been talking about this week if you read his book it's one of the best books I've ever fucking read as far as like an autobiography it's like I fucking hate reading I got ADD out the fuck I got I guess a mild foam and dyslexia and I'm a fucking moron so I mean I got a lot working against me all right and I was riveted reading that book totally fucking engaging and if you've actually read that book and then you watch the Serena documentary just like the just what that sport does to your body and shit it's fucking half the fucking thing is her laying on a table getting a massage you know that probably just sounded all creepy but

I'm seriously if you read the Agassi thing and the guy sitting there talking about he's taken like a fucking hour long shower trying to get his body to be able to move again when he's just played the first round of a major and he's got to somehow fight his way through that and getting shot up with shit it's fucking unbelievable but it's a it's a great great fucking documentary and you got to love the documentaries because my wife will not watch sports you know but there's a documentary about it like a 30 for 30 you know documentaries bring people together you know like I won't watch Real Housewives but if they did a documentary on one of them and how the fuck they ended up on there you know they would be interesting

you are an absolute fucking failure if you if you make a document an uninteresting documentary I'm trying to think the last time I ever saw a documentary that wasn't on some level interesting like you literally fucking watch somebody like hey this is how they make milk bottles you know the the what the fuck you call it the the way we go about making it whatever that big word is the process that's not that big that's a medium word Bill has has not changed it's remained the same for hundreds of years and there's you just go I go down a fucking rabbit hole just watching that shit Tom Papa the great Tom Papa fucking um made me a loaf of bread me and I was kidding who made it for Nia Nia was the one asking for it right Tom doesn't give a shit about

me the man uses me you know comes over here he smokes all my cigars he drinks all my liquor I'm totally joking Tom's one of one of the great human beings I've ever met he's a great guy he made it for both the bus because he's a sweetheart and so he was telling me this whole thing about how you know how you make sourdough sourdough bread like the old fashioned way and how the the yeast bacteria is in the air and you make like this concoction of like flour because yeast eats flour and you mix it with water and you got to leave it out and then when it starts to like for a couple of days and then when it bubbles up you know it's going to start to smell like beer and you know and if you didn't fuck it up you know once it gets to

a certain point I don't know you put like plastic wrap it's like this whole fucking process just to get this thing called your starter so you can get the fucking sourdough taste in there I guess and and that concoction is one of the most disgusting things I've ever seen in my life and you just you just it's fucking unreal because once you make it you just keep feeding it and it keeps living and evidently in France they have these these concoctions that somebody started this starter or the or mother they call it mother which is really creepy um like they started it like hundreds of years ago like a hundred years ago somebody started it and they just kept passing it down people just kept feeding the fucking thing it's really it's fucking bizarre but that

shit like if there was a documentary on making bread I would sit down and I would I would watch you know but if there was a fucking sitcom about people that made bread I would fucking take a gun out I wouldn't kill myself but I would want to you know what I mean why do I always go to suicide does anybody else like I just always think that I just always think about like yeah you know I could I could either sit through this or I could I could dive under that passing bus I'm not gonna do it hey would you do it if you absolutely fucking knew without it that'd be weird if you knew without a doubt that there was there was a better place you know what I mean if you knew without a doubt there was a better place and you were going to

it like you gotta you gotta be thinking back this there had to be a couple events you know we just like jeez I got this paper do I'm with this girl I gotta break up I don't fucking break up with her you know it's just all right that was dark okay let's let's get out of that you should never do that it's not an option there's always hope you know you know it's a great thing you don't want to get you out of a depression you get a dog you get a dog like mine that'll put you in a happy mood dogs are the fucking best you know you come home they're just I know every comic has done a bit on this but they're just so fucking psyched to see it they're always fucking psyched to see it you can never disappoint them you know what I mean they just love you they're the best

do you know the other night you know when I was I was fucking uh I had to move my car right um and it was like you know street cleaning day so it was opposite side of the fucking street parking so you know I'm like god damn it I'm gonna drive like 15 minutes down the fucking road or some shit right and my dog was already asleep but because it heard me going outside it immediately got up and was looking at me like are we going out together we're going out and I was looking like no I just I'm fucking just moving the car relax dude so I go out there I drive down the street and it was like a 15 minute walk back took me you know a couple minutes to drive over there so I was gone like 15 20 minutes I come back to the house my wife's already in bed she's already

in bed she's not concerned about me right the lights are all off on the house I open the door quietly and who's fucking sitting right there still waiting for me my dog still fucking waiting for me and I just looked at thing I was just like yeah you know and it didn't it wagged its tail and I locked the door and then it walked with me down the stairs to go to bed it was like it was like a bodyguard it's you know I'm telling you they're the fucking best haven't said that some fucking lady on my flight on my way out like dude this whole um I need my dog because I'm afraid to fly the fucking thing is getting out of control like the size of dog that you could bring on this person brought on a dog that was like uh the next weight class up from a carcass spaniel

and a poor husband like is bringing the the the whole fucking doggy bed and I'm thinking going are they really thinking they're going to stick that in between the rows and they didn't they jammed it in the overhead compartment like the two of them took up an entire rows overhead compartment just fucking selfish cunts and every time I you know she'd walk by with the dog and look at her she'd do that smile like isn't it adorable oh yeah the dog's adorable you're not you know you're a selfish fuck that's what I was thinking but then you know what the dog was totally well behaved it wasn't a fucking problem and of course they sat in the row right in front of me and um I don't know I don't know you know I I gotta learn to let the shit go I really I actually

I'm trying right now two things I'm trying to do all right not flip out when I drive and not get mad at technology if I could do that I would yell 80% less and uh I think my wife would would would enjoy her life a lot more you know all right well I gotta pause here to uh to read some advertising I don't even know if it's come in yet and then I gotta read the questions for this week um by the way congratulations the fucking buffalo bills they've they've been looking great the last two weeks you know all you guys all the buffalo bill faithful out there you were ready to kick wrecks to the fucking curb a lot of you were all right like he was gonna turn around that shit show in a couple

of games he's a fucking damn good coach and I don't I don't know what his his record is against Belichick but he's got to be the closest to 500 of anybody I mean Tom Coughlin's the guy that owns Belichick you know he's the guy that when they all fucking hang out in the end Bill's gonna sit there laughing going you know why you guys all gave me a rough time but this guy this motherfucker right here this guy's the guy um all right uh let's see if I got the fucking advertising here come on give me the advertising one time one time six 24 where the fuck is it and nothing all right I gotta hit pause it ain't gonna be a big deal in your life it's just gonna be a couple of seconds all right I'm gonna give my dog a fucking flea bath all right what's wrong with you

all right I love you too okay all right I'm back just like that just like that um of course I didn't fucking why would I turn it on till I get hang on a fucking second okay and I'm back again all right ah fuck god damn phone is hot as shit um all right oh shit give me the loot give me the loot uh loot crate hey you fucking nerds you're looking for gear collectibles housewares and more from your favorite pop culture franchises we got you covered loot crate offers a range of geek and gamer items for less than 20 bucks a month want to bring your loot to the next level get a bigger box with even bigger loot with loot crate dx um does that mean the the sizes are bigger you get more shit you probably get more

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going i never will get that fucking sentence out right mailing and shipping are a routine part of of running your business dot dot dot important comma keeps your operation going how the fuck am i supposed to read that mailing and shipping are a routine part of running your business important oh so important keeps your operation going oh that's what they're doing the dot dot dot oh i see i see you want the end so forth and so on read okay let's do this again take 200 uh stamps.com mailing and shipping are a routine part of running your business important keeps your operation going that didn't work important fucks the whole thing up i'm not saying it anymore important's off the fucking roster i don't give a shit okay you want

me to cook the dinner you gotta let me buy the groceries um but if you're making who knows who's that about everybody come on pats fans what who who said it and what player was he talking about in three two one bang bill parcells terry glenn who did he say it to robert craft um if but if you're making constant trips to the post office that's a routine you need to change there's a much more convenient way stamps.com stamps.com brings all of the service of the post office right to your desk you'll never waste valuable time going to the post office again so you can focus on what really matters growing your business trying to fuck the chick next door i use stamps.com for whenever i sell posters after my shows i'm going to be selling an exclusive

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i know why because you just want to hear me read out loud i know it is i know you don't take it seriously and anybody takes this seriously you're on your own this is a disclaimer all right why would you take advice from me i went to summer school two out of four years in high school should have gone all four my sophomore teacher hooked me up gave me the d minus in senior year it was like what's the point evidently i have to learn to trade all right comic book stuff dear billy unbreakable we all know how you hate comic con stuff i actually i don't i don't it's just they're an easy target and i'm lazy you know what i mean i don't i i although i'd recently watched some reality i was on a plane right it was on the plane the plane and uh there was some

show and it was just these guys standing around in um oh what the fuck it's a comic book store out here and i started to watch it and they were all doing that fucking if this comic guy comic book guy fought that comic book guy and i can't i can't sit through that but i can sit through dude who is better gratsky lemieux uh tell me if lemieux didn't have those years off but i will i'll i'll fucking stay in that forever um but you know i i can't get into comic book shit as much as you know i like the superheroes when i was growing up but then you know i got older and i uh i grew up all right superhero movies and loot crate i don't hate that shit i just like making fun of it he said you've mentioned in the past the only superhero you liked

was luke cage aka power man no i like spider man too captain america iron man batman was cool more the comic book on tv was you know i'd like that show when i was younger but then it was just sort of silly too campy for me um i'd like the the heath ledger batman and i loved that christian bail you know even everybody made fun of his voice it fucking made sense that he would change the sound of his fucking voice you know you guys know what my voice sounded like if i had a three quarter fucking mask on and i just started talking to you you'd be like too what the fuck's with the mask bill you know anyways uh well you should be you should be excited to know he has his own netflix series now get the fuck out of here luke cage does it's super popular and getting attention

not just because it's great but also because it's topical it knowingly acknowledges the significance of a bulletproof african-american wearing a hoodie through the series luke engages with police officers who shoot him and leave holes in his hoodies the police often interrogate and harass black people in harlem who have done nothing wrong oh i gotta watch that he goes my questions are do you still like luke cage will you watch the series yes yes do you think it's good to acknowledge dravon martin and the black lives matter movement in this way yeah why not when you watch those fucking those Pixar movies they talk about global warming you know they had the ant thing and they go you know one ants not top but you gotta

if all the ants start moving they could take us over that was all about like the fucking bill de berg people if they can do all of that shit why can't they bring up that stuff i love is that is that a good way to acknowledge this first of all who the fuck am i to say that that's not an issue that that that has made my life like uh i don't have to worry about my life you know what i mean so i would ask why don't you ask black people that do you think it's good to acknowledge anyways love your podcast and you stand up greetings from Ontario um yeah i'm just like that's i mean i like when uh i like um as much as i i've i like superman vs batman all right i like when they do the comic book stuff and as much as like

you know the people can fly and they're fucking the size of an ant and shit like that the more reality that they bring into it the more grounded that they keep it the more i like it and i know superman vs batman they're like jesus how many people did they fucking kill that never entered my mind i didn't give a shit they're like they did billions of dollars with the damage who gives a fuck my favorite thing was they were saying that superhero can't they can't be out there acting unilaterally like they didn't like that superman was going around just helping everybody regardless of uh you know whether they would trade with the united states or not and i just love that the united states felt that they could claim superman was fucked up i guess he got adopted by united

states parents and he did get a free education yeah the fuck are you doing you know what i stand by the american government on that one um no but the more that they can bring in like the uh just the real world reality i i think that that shit's great and the dark i mean in the comic books it isn't always like dark depressing they're fucking loners like i never liked the x-man thing it just sounded like a bunch of whiny teenagers to me they didn't go dark enough or make it adult enough it was probably for teenage kids who's kidding who um it probably wasn't for a fucking bald 48 year old male we gotta get these guys these this is our demographic they these are the guys that are gonna buy all the fucking swag um i actually uh when i was a kid i read comic books and i really

liked the drawings in the different ways that they would go about it and when when you know sometimes they take up a whole page and they draw something or they'd have like three of the squares would all like a bullet gut shot and they just show where it went and stuff like i really liked it and i thought it was incredibly talented in that thing but i i stopped short of uh like dressing up like them and having like a fucking lightsaber fight you know what i mean um i guess that's where you lose me and you know to be honest with you what i'm doing is what a lot of people do is i'm i'm taking like you know most golf fans are not like those fucking animals at the rider cup screaming and yelling like a bunch of fucking lunatics you know what i mean a lot of them are uh you know

you know that you know i went to the masters people the people were fucking cool but it's just it's just fun to make fun of them i guess jesus built did you retract everything that you've ever said about it uh sort of i'm trying i'm trying to be a better fucking person man i i gotta stop like i just that the word cunt and all this stuff that just flies out of me in public and it's getting worse and uh you know it's gotten to the point where now it actually for the first time in my life like embarrasses me so i'm trying to see the other side of that and i know people who didn't you know going to be funny anymore i just believe me i will fuck up plenty of my life i don't need to be screaming cunt when there's children around on a fucking airport all right

montreal pitbull ban hi bill i think your special let it go did a lot to educate people about what sweet and loving pets pitbulls can be i don't have a pitbull myself but i do not believe in breed specific legislation or banning certain breeds of dog just because they're more likely to be owned by assholes who will train them to be violent i live in ontario where pitbulls are already banned uh when mark behah b u e h r l e how the fuck do you say that blah blah was in the was in the toronto blue jays you mean on the toronto blue jays he chose to live alone in toronto away from his family rather than give up their pitbull recently montreal voted in favor of a bill to ban new pitbulls and other dangerous breeds as well as impose strict

regulations on pitbulls already living in the city including muscling oh putting a muscle on them from what i read the bill seems to be a panic reaction to the death of a woman who died following a dog attack here is the article if you want to read it i would love for you to speak out against this super lame bylaw and continue to use your fame as a platform to educate people about dude i don't do that i'm not going to be that person hey i have a podcast now you should listen to me about social issues um perceived as dangerous you're a bit about doctrine clio is seriously one of my favorite things in life oh thank you i wish everyone could hear it thank you so much bill go fuck yourself um yeah yeah i mean i i i don't i don't know i don't know what the fuck happened up there but like

i don't think pitbulls are bad dogs um i will tell you my dog's a fucking psycho and would try to kill you if he came into the house would attack you because it's possessive it's envious jealous whatever the fuck it is and uh my dog is dangerous and um you know and if i'm standing there i can't be like clio these people are fucking cool but i think what it is is with my dog with its personality and the the information that i did not have access to um and i don't have like like this dog like really like if this dog when this dog's with my fucking trainer like and it stays with him people come and go complete strangers come into his house and the dog doesn't flip out but with me it does i let it up on the bed i fucking snuggle with the thing and shit it thinks it's on the same level

as me for whatever reason it feels like it has it has to run shit and um i just you know after a while because i'm so fucking busy i just had to like sort of adjust my life around the dog which is not another thing you're not supposed to do but um you know i can walk it down the street it doesn't go after people but if someone just walks up to me i don't know when it starts talking to me it it starts barking it doesn't growl or show its teeth but it definitely considers it like a threat so um but this is the thing what i've noticed since having this dog is that there are a bunch of dogs that do that of all breeds when i walk down the street and what i see rather than the dog is i see the owner and um i am not uh you know i made a lot of mistakes

with my dog and um whenever my dog passes and i go to get another one um i i don't know if i can do it dude i don't know if i can not have the dog be up on the fucking bed i i have to be disciplined enough to do it i actually when i was in vancouver one time or seattle some this woman told me like she doesn't let her dogs walk on the rug i come home she goes i don't even look at him until i set everything down they're waiting for her and waiting for her my dog just gets to do whatever the fuck it wants and i think that that can be you know a dangerous thing um the bigger your dog is so um i i what i would actually say is rather than have a pit bull ban um what i would say is if you're gonna get a dangerous breed and a pit bull is a dangerous

breed and all that me i'm not saying the dog is inherently dangerous i'm just saying that if your dog goes to bite somebody like anybody's dog can the level of damage that a pit bull can do versus if you get bit by a chihuahua you have to understand you know you have to respect what you have so what i would say rather than have a pit bull ban um i would say what if people before you you you're able to have a pit bull you have to take an intensive course and become a fully educated great dog owner which is what i wish was available to me before i got my dog because i had to learn all these lessons the hard way and you know trying to undo all of the shit that the dog learned as i'm leaving every other

weekend and i'm in a writer's room all day it was you know like owning a dog is a tremendous amount of responsibility so that alone forget about all the fucking horrible people human beings that are out there that do horrible fucking things to animals um i mean i'm hypocritical because i eat chickens and cows and pigs and shit and uh you know they don't exactly treat them you know they always oh it's free range it's organic and all that shit and then you watch the documentary and they're cutting their beaks off and feeding them cows and shit and it's fucking horrific um but but you know these people who fight dogs and these people who like you know i mean i honestly think like you know there was some case in like new york with this guy just he was in an argument

with his girlfriend he snatched the girl's dog out and fucking like spiked it on the ground and killed it and the girl's woman's daughter was in the other room and this motherfucker only got 60 days it's just like uh you know i i just kind of feel like somebody big enough should have grabbed him and spiked him down on a kitchen floor and then he'd have to fucking deal with the ramifications of that rather than my tax dollars paying 60 paying for 60 dollars with the free fucking meals for this guy to be in some fucking halfway house um like the level of fucking anger issue that that guy has like i mean that that is like i don't know i don't know but that's that's that's really a shame and that's a really that's what they're doing up there is they're trying to protect people and

they they're not going to throw any money at it so they're just gonna say all right no more of these dogs no more of these dogs um that's what they're doing so uh you know but i gotta be honest with getting mauled to death by a fucking pit bull i mean do you want to go out like that i mean that's that's pretty fucking horrific um but um and then also horrific is them then killing every other pit bull out there so uh that that would be my suggestion is that you know and if you are considering getting any dog i'm sure that there is there's things that you could go out like that's the number one fucking thing that i wish i did because i absolutely fucking love animals i love dogs i fucking love them and uh everything that i do you know is probably wrong because the

dog feels like it's on the same level as me and it has to run shit and that's why people come through the door and it flips the fuck out and i have to put the you know i just i just know how the dog is what i did i just adjusted to it i'm just like all right i know i'm having people over so i just take the dog downstairs and i just keep in the room downstairs nobody even sees the fucking thing um that's the way i i had to operate with my dog and um i can tell you that that's one way to do it but it's not the way to do it because there's that constant anxiety of thinking what if it ever got out what the fuck happened oh my god blah blah blah and i have to live with the guilt of someone else getting hurt and then i'd get the shit suit out of me i mean it's a it's a really

serious fucking thing when you get a german shepherd if you get a pit bull if you get a doberman pincher if you get a fucking golden retriever i mean those dogs can fucking do damage and the fact that you can just go oh my god it's cute and just take the fucking thing home um forget about if you found it by the la river and you have no idea what the other people did to it i mean i know my dog got abused i um i picked up my hockey stick when i first got it and i was stick handling in the living room as you do right and the dog immediately ran to the other side of the room and i was like oh my god somebody was hitting this thing with with some sort of a stick so what i did was i just laid the hockey stick down in the middle of the room i went to the all the way in the

opposite side of the room and i just i'd call the dog over and the dog would come over and go all the way around the stick and then come over lick me on my face and i go i go back to your bed and it would go back to its bed and each time it sniffed the stick a little bit more a little bit more and i just baby stepped it to the point where by the end of it i could you know stick handle in my garage you know with the tennis ball and shit and it didn't give a shit but um i wish i did that on other areas but i never once you see a dog going after somebody you never quite trust it again and then you have that fear and then they sense the fear and they process that is the fear is the person at the door and it's a fucking it's it's i've learned so much by fucking up so

my next dog um i will not make those mistakes but um i don't think that it is a problem with the breed i think it's uh it's the the the size of the dog and the mistakes that i fucking made you know so anyways moving on all right moving to the states uh hey billy slut peg uh i'm a 21 year old guy from sweden and i'm thinking about moving to the u.s but i can't decide where i've narrowed it down to three cities new york san francisco and la great fucking choices so my simple question is where do you think a guy in my age will have the most fun uh and by the way will your new special be on netflix yes yes it will be uh i can't wait to see it in season two of f is for family hope you and neil uh lives continue to be great well thank you uh go fuck

yourself and fdt i don't know what that means fuck uh fuck something or other um all right um it depends on what you want to do all right you are going to get fucking laid in all three of those cities coming over there swedish guy you can speak fucking another language i mean it's over it's a fucking wrap you can have an accent you know it's it's a wrap you're going to get laid it all depends on uh what type of women you're in and what kind of weather you like if you can deal with the winner i would say go to new york city new york city is the paris the united states it's the best one we have um as far as like just culturally it's just fucking amazing um san francisco is it is fucking unbelievable too like the the first of all the food and all

three of these are unbelievable san francisco is going to be the most expensive believe it or not um all that computer money i guess is fucking ruin that city um then new york and la is actually starting to you know get really expensive too um la brutal fucking traffic uh there is a drought and uh what would i do 21 you know what man i i i think i would go with new york just because if you want to go back and visit it's it you're cutting out like five hours of the flight um when you were in new york i would visit san francisco in la you know but you know don't sleep on others there's other bunch of great madison wisconsin's fucking great pittsburgh's the shit cleveland's coming around you know every time i go there it's getting fucking better and

better i love all those fucking rust belt cities um chicagos the shit nashville new orleans there's so many fucking places to go so many fucking places to go uh but i think new york is a great place it's a great place you know and there's a lot of liberal new york's there new york is there and they just think anything from another country especially um any country from europe is just automatically better and more amazing so you know and you'll be a good person for them to fucking sit there shit on the united states it's like you guys put your shoes on this way and we do it that way it was like i was just my wife was just npr and they were sitting there talking about how in one of those fucking you know countries over there where they have a million

people on bicycles no one really gets fucked over by someone opening the car door into them you know when they parked because they have this thing called the fucking whatever they open the they open the door with their right hand so that gets them to look over their shoulder and they acted like it was this astounding fucking achievement and why didn't we ever think of that i'll tell you why we never thought of it because no one rides a fucking bike over here 90 of people do not ride bicycles over there everybody rides a fucking bike just about most people can't even afford a fucking car they have bike lanes it's a part of how they grow up that's the only reason why it's like i never used to look for motorcycle riders until i rode a motorcycle

and then now i always you know i creep over to the left let him drive along you know in between i always make sure i'm looking for him you know and i never did that before i rode so anyways i'm off on a tangent here okay friend being taking advantage of at a fire station the fuck does this mean they're making him cook all the chili are we talking molested here dear mr burr a good friend of mine is trying to be a firefighter and i feel like he's totally become their bitch instead of being hired full-time his fire department has him hired as like a reserve or whatever and has him working full-time hours basically that would be nice but since he's a reserve he's literally getting paid like below minimum wage he's been doing this for around a

year or so and the department he's in definitely is understaffed they just don't want to make him full-time because they would have to pay him an actual salary now i don't know anything about jobs and careers and stuff but i feel like he's definitely getting taken advantage of what should i do should i tell him he's being fucked over would love to hear your opinion on the matter love the podcast can't wait for us for family go fuck yourself and when are you coming to northern california um all right um i would say uh i would just say to him say hey listen you know i know that you know i would just bring up work how's it going at work blah blah blah blah do they have any plans of making you full-time anytime soon listen to what he says and then

just ask him well you know how how long uh so what are you what so what's the game plan did have they hinted anything about it and just see what he says sometimes it's hard you got to let your friends learn hard lessons sometimes you just got to kind of let him get fucked over i mean just bring it up see what the person says and uh hopefully your friend isn't like that guy in the joke and good fellas you know that just me means he's content to be a jerk what am i going to say that my wife two times me um yeah that's what i would do i would just bring it up i've had friends in those situations and uh you know that can be very difficult um yeah so that's what i would do that's a simple one just bring it up ask him how's it going and ask them if they have

any plans and then i would say so you know not trying to be nosy i'm just looking out for you you know because i want to see you succeed what what is your plan then because uh there are other firehouses out there where you could maybe get hired on all right jim ursay guitar collection oh jesus my buddy jim ursay hey billy b bender i was reading the guitar affix shinago affix shinago magazine this month and there was an article article about warren haze playing jerry garcia's guitar tiger at red rocks a few months back this was the last guitar jerry ever played live before his untimely death anyways long story short the article went on to disclose jim ursay was the actual owner of the guitar well that's what happens with most most of those

instruments they are owned by rich people who are not musicians i'm not saying they're not lovers of music but um that's where it all ends up and then actual musicians they buy their own gear and then they make that gear legendary you know what i mean i was i was you know i did that shit i bought a 71 Ludwig green sparkle john bonham fucking kid like so then what now i'm gonna play like him that was an expensive lesson to learn you know but i know there's some other kid you know going down to fucking uh pro drum shop out here in la and he's gonna buy a fucking kit that's a particular color and everything and he's gonna tune him up or she's gonna do it and they're gonna have a sound and they're gonna put it together and then everybody's gonna want

that kit so it doesn't surprise me i mean he owns a team in the nfl this guy's a fucking billionaire right um he said he paid eight hundred fifty thousand dollars for it at auction you know what's great about jim ursay money um is if he's a fucking billionaire all right even if even if you fucking if you had if you had a hundred million bucks spending eight hundred fifty thousand dollars is spending less than one percent of your fucking money um but if you're a billionaire then what is the the fucking decimal point moves over one more is that it is a point zero one percent less than that i don't know he said he paid in a fifty thousand for an auction not to mention he also owns bob dylan stratocaster from the newport festival george harrison's gibson sg

jesus what a fucking collection and even prince's yellow cloud guitar although i appreciate someone preserving musical history like he has as a long time guitarist and patriots fan i say fuck him for not allowing these guitars to be in the hands of musicians what are your thoughts um i separate jim ursay the football owner when you start talking about his guitar collection then he's just a regular person to me you know what i mean so he's just a rich guy that he's a music lover and i don't think they should necessarily be in the hands of musicians because um i think that you should be influenced by great artists not go out and and try to do what they already did i think the fact that you as a musician will go out you know like i if i was a musician

my goal would be like i would want my guitar to be famous too like how steve iray vons you know what john bonham's vista like kit became famous like none of the none of those things were famous no one knew what they look like until they got into the hands of those unbelievable artists so um i think that the reason the fact that they go for all that money and they end up in rich people's hands is just a testament to the greatness of the musician and how music affects people even a guy who's a fucking nfl owner the fact that he's into the dead he's into george harrison he's into prince he's into bob dillon i mean i you can't fuck with any of those influences the guys got good taste in music you know um but there's no magic in those guitars though

i mean i could literally have bonham's kit and i'm gonna sound like a comedian playing drums and you guys are all gonna be like hey can you fucking knock it off you know what i mean so i don't think that the i think that they um they're just like pieces of history now i think like uh if you have like fucking napoleon sword i don't think that uh well that should be in some other fucking dictators hands chopping somebody's fucking head off i mean i don't think so i just think that uh if you're into that type of shit which i totally am i'm completely into memorabilia but i refuse to buy any because so much of it is fake and also um i just have enough shit in my fucking house i don't need any more shit in my house and uh i also i i i don't want my fucking house to look like a fucking

a fucking hard rock cafe you know what i mean where i got fucking jim Morrison's fucking me undies on the wall framed you know and they're probably some guy and it's probably it's better chance of being jim her say he's fucking me undies than jim Morrison so yeah i don't begrudge him and um i think it's i think that's fucking awesome that he has it because uh well i guess and that's why musicians should put maybe i don't know there is something cool to touch the thing like if you could ever like just hold that that jimmy page double necked sg that he played stairway to heaven on if you could just fucking hold that thing and just feel like like i think if you just start whispering when you had it like

oh my god this is a he looked at john bottom and would give him the nod when he was coming out of the solo you know okay that was probably creepy listen we fucking whisper i would be like that around that shit but um hey man if you got the fucking money you know they can have it so there you go man go make your guitar fucking legendary and then see how much jim mercy will pay for yours you know but then again you'd have to be dead well bob dillon's not dead when you give it up for auction my dog right now is sitting just to the left of my computer she's staring intensely at me she's been fed she's been out and everything like that and all that says is she wants to be let up on the couch and you know what i can't do it i'm gonna turn it around

i'm too weak i can't resist you too fucking adorable why is your head shaped like a fucking muscular light bulb you ever noticed that your little bare face huh why can't you be like this with company why can't you see that i'm relaxed around him and then you're relaxed why do you treat everybody like they're a fucking axe murderer huh all right that's the podcast um go fuck yourselves and uh i gotta say again congratulations to bills and that they're turning that fucking thing around there i always like the bills back i don't like their fucking fans because i had a bad experience when i went out then i wore a patriots hat this thing you know three fucking people when i was taking a piss pushed me fucking pussies um but anyways i also

had a fucking patriots hat on in their stadium and i had my dick out what the fuck was i thinking give me jesus christ why don't i just slip my own throat but i i like them from back you know joe furguson oj simpson in all those days and it was always snowing and uh i always like the buffalo bills from back then so that's what happens if you start to like a team when you're a kid you know even when they become your rival you don't give a fuck so uh psych tom brady's coming back and i'm just gonna say a bunch of shit that i already said all right go fuck yourselves and i'll check in on you on thursday