Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 10-31-16

Episode Date: October 31, 2016

Bill rambles about Halloween, the Cubs and the Buffalo Bills.

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's the Monday Morning Podcast for Monday. October 31st, 2016. What's going on? How are you? It's Halloween. Everybody happy Halloween. Oh, happy Halloween. Happy Halloween. Da da da. You're a fucking teen. It's you're too fucking old for candy. What's the cutoff? What's the cutoff tonight when the kids come where you just want to be with some of them and just be like, dude, you're too fucking old. Cleo, get out of here. I'll feed you in a minute. Go on. I'm telling you, my cutoff is somewhere around like fucking 12. You know, even in around 10, they just start saying little wise ass, cunt-y fucking things. You know, that's the hardest thing about being an adult around a kid is they think they're so

fucking smart. And it's just like, douche, I was I was your age. I've been 10. I've been 12. Okay. Then I've been 20, 30, 40, almost up to 50. You're right. You dumb fuck. Do you think I don't know what you're doing? Do you think you're playing with my mind, man? I mean, you just want to say it too. Do you remember that? Everybody's got to have that. Do you ever have that fucking adult that just fucking, you know, when your parents weren't looking, just looked at you and just told you to shut the fuck up? It probably doesn't happen nowadays because if all the smartphones and everybody's got a video camera and the kid blogs about it next thing, you know, you get arrested for, I don't know what,

I don't know what, Cleo, get out of here. Go on. Go on. You know, but back then, I mean, that's the kind of shit you could do. I remember when we were talking in church, me and my brother and this dude fucking turned around, he goes, Hey, you shut up. He even said that. He goes, Well, you shut up. You know, it's just one of those things, you know, and my mother, and I looked at my mother and she fucking put her eyebrows up like, but yeah, well, shut the fuck up. That doesn't happen nowadays. Apparently, oh my, you don't talk, you don't, it's emotional abuse, verbal abuse. No, your kid needs to shut the fuck up. So what hour do you, there's that, that

fucking hour where they just stop being cute, you know, they just stop being cute and they get fucking annoying and then it goes over the hill where it just becomes like, you know, they're coming up to your thing and they got the shitty grinch smirk in their face. I'm telling you, this fucking year, this fucking year, if some kid comes up with a smirk on his face, I go, I'm not giving you any candy because that look on your face, this is what I want to say, but you can't because of that look on your face. And if you do anything to my mailbox or anything like that, I'm going to fucking kill you. All right, you fucking pussy. You don't even know how to drive yet the fuck out of here. All right, but you can't say, you know, you can't not,

not in today's America, not in today's America. Well, you know what, Trump's going to bring that back. Um, I've had such a bad experience like all my life, all my life, I've been, I've been waiting for like, I couldn't wait to have a fucking house. The kids came by to go trick or treating. I mean, I moved out and, um, the first time I lived like in the attic of a fucking old house that they turned into an apartment. It was fucking hilarious. And you had to like walk down the center of the apartment so your head, head wouldn't hit either side of the fucking roof. And, uh, I told you guys this, right? I didn't have a bed. I slept in a sleeping bag and I would sleep right by the window because I didn't, we didn't have any AC. And then one night there was

like some torrential downpour. I was sitting there dreaming. I was on a boat or something, something about water and I woke up just soaking wet. Um, and then he was funny. I ended up catching a cold. And like the next day it was like July, it was like 89 degrees out or something. And I had a cold like it was fucking November. Um, oh God, that fucking sucked. Um, then I moved back in with my parents, got my shit together, fucking finally graduated fucking college. And then when I moved out, I ended up going to New York city and people don't go trick or treating in New York city. They have places where they go where all the fucking candy is and they make sure there's no fucking weirdos there. Um,

and then when I finally moved out to LA, I don't know, people still didn't come to my first department is when I got my house, you know, five years ago, they was just like, all right, now they're going to be coming and I was fucking loaded for bear. And I had you, I did the bid on, I had the full size candy bars. Jesus Christ, Cleo, you're driving me nuts. Get over there and lay down. There's no way to be mad at a dog for longer than for frustrated more than three seconds. Cleo, can you please lay down? Hey buddy, lay down down. Go on. Lay down. There you go. And the follow through. Thank you. I already can tell she's not going to sit there because she's laying down, but she has her ears up and she's just staring at me.

You know what it is? I had to get up early to do this fucking podcast because I got a bunch of shit that I need to do. So anyways, people finally started coming to the fucking house and that's what I found, you know, as soon as the sun goes down the first, I know we always talk about this, but you got to admit it's true. The first like hour and a half, it's the cutest fucking kids you've ever seen. The parents are great. You know, it's just like a great, it's just, I don't know, it's fucking awesome. The kids are adorable. And then somewhere around, I don't know, between seven and eight, it starts switching over and there's just nothing but cunts. Like after like a quarter to nine, I mean, just everybody you see, it's going to be a bunch of

fucking, oh man, you know, something, we're renting this fucking house and it's got this crazy driveway. I don't think anybody's going to come up here. But next year, I promise you guys, I have to fucking, I want to open the door and be like, ah, nah, you guys, you're too old. You're too old. Look, go buy some candy, get the fuck out of here. But then you got to worry they're going to fuck up your house, even if they don't do it that night, they're going to do it another night. Just come on, man, you guys are too old. Maybe I'll just lie and be like, oh, sorry, I'm out of candy. They'll tally you. Five what? Yeah, I'm out of candy. What do you got?

Yeah, there's four, you're not four, 11. Fuck out of here. You're five foot one, bait it. Oh, you know what you do is, is what's the worst kind of fucking candy? What's just a shitty old lady kind of candy? That's what you do. You know, with the fucking fruit in the middle of it, like real fruit. Oh my God, I don't know about you guys. I don't know what grandmothers are like nowadays, but when I was a kid, man, my grandma, my grandparents had the worst fucking candy. At least one of them did. And then like the fuck I had a paper route. And then there was like a bunch of old bitties and shit that, you know,

couple that never got married and shit or their dad fucking their dad, their fucking husband died. And they'd always have like this little candy and have a piece of candy, right? And I go to bite into, Oh God, I didn't know what the fuck it was. It was just, it was just horrible. Just, it just, you know, it was like, did they put you a perfume in the middle of this shit? I'm sorry. It was, it was, I'm just saying it was disgusting. All right. So anyways, I'm actually going to a Halloween party tonight. I was going to make some pumpkin bread for the host, right? I was like, uh, at the party and Nia's going like, I was like, God, man, I got so much shit to do when I got, and I got to make that pumpkin bread.

And then she just goes like, well, why don't you just like not do that? We'll just, you know, we'll go get a bottle of champagne. She always does that. She always goes, you make your life so fucking hard. It's like, it's pumpkin bread. It's not that it's just like fucking, it's going to take me like, you know, 10 minutes to put it together and then throw it in the fucking oven for an hour. It's just a pain in the ass to do it. She, why don't we just do this? It's like, what the fuck? You just be another asshole showing up with a bottle of wine as opposed to showing up with pumpkin bread. The fuck is, you know, I don't know. I don't know. Sometimes, but sometimes that I don't know. Sometimes we don't fucking, we just don't see eye to eye. Like,

I want to make my own steam dumplings. She goes, I just buy him a trader Joe's. You know, those are the, those are the times, you know what I mean? Those are the times we just want to kind of smile and nod and just slowly back towards the front door, get in a car and just never come back again. Yeah. In other words, lie to yourself that that's what you're going to do for the next 20 minutes as you drive around, you know, talking to yourself at fucking red lights and you look over at some beautiful woman, half your aides going, look at that crazy bald old guy and you just sit there and you gotta be like, wow, I'm the crazy bald old guy. No one's going to want me out here. And then you get to go back home. And then that's it.

That's how it works. But every once in a while, not actually once in a while, more people than not can commit to that. They can back their way out the front door and they can go through with it. They take it all the way to the divorce, you know, they go out, they get themselves a two-pay, you know, they painted orange, they get a red tie, they run for office, they start people up at truck stops. This election is so fucked up that it's got really quieted down after the last fucking debate, if that's what the fuck you want to call it. My big thing this year is I want to know it's just fucking lose, lose. It's fucking lose, lose at the thing. And you know, something as much as I've been sitting here fucking saying,

you know, Trump's a fucking racist and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's just like, well, you know, the Clintons are from Arkansas. So, you know, I don't think they're too fucking enlightened down there either, you know. You know, I know I'm just fucking being stereotypical here, but give me a break. Oh, Bill and fucking Hillary, they grew up in Arkansas in like the 50s. You might want to go back and look at some of those fucking racist, you know, the racist people screaming at black people, kids going to school for the first time. You might want to try to pick her head out or something like that. Give me a fucking break. You're from Arkansas. I love

that shit where just because you're a Democrat, that just means that, you know, that you're not homophobic, you're not racist or I have a I wear blue. I just don't fucking or that if you're Republican, then that automatically means that you're, you know, you want to bury babies in the backyard. You know, unless they're fucking blue, white, white babies, you know what I mean? Like that whole fucking year in the corporations and all that, they're all fucking cunts. You know, I know that because I'm a cunt too, and I'm somewhere in the middle. I like to think I definitely lean more fucking left, but I'm also contrarian and now I live out here in Hollywood and I just can't fucking deal with these people out here and that it's driving me.

I don't think it's driving me to the right. It's it's driving me to say things on the right, just to fuck with these people. Like I love Trash and Hillary out here. It's one of my favorite fucking things to do. You know, I last time I was fucking around the stage and I was talking about that. I was talking about, you know, well, Hillary's from fucking Arkansas, everybody, and they all kind of laughed. I go, you know, those those fucking flyover states that you guys all shit on out here, you know, and, you know, of course it gets fucking, I don't know, whatever. You know what the big thing is on this ballot is wherever the fuck you live, more important than one of that orange-headed fucking racist cunt or that devil woman with her fucking issues.

Right. She lived in Arkansas in the 1950s. Jesus Christ. Right. Me a fucking break. You know what the biggest fucking thing is? Sorry, I'm losing my train of thought here. Is those is all the props, the state propositions, you know, and this is what pisses me off. So I go to this website to try to figure out California's 17 ballot measure propositions explained. All right. And all they do, they sort of explain the thing, but what they don't have, what I cannot find is all the bullshit that is attached to each one of these propositions. Like this shit is so fucked up. And I do not understand why this is never addressed. Why on all these propositions like no means yes, yes means no. And then there's a little bit of maybe

in there. And then if you vote for the fucking shit, there's some other measure saying that, you know, yeah, it's okay to fucking stick a baby in a snow bank for fucking, you know, 13 hours until it freezes to death or whatever, however fucking long it would take, you know, I just, I can't find anything that says all the shit that's attached to it. Why can't the fucking ballot just be fucking the proposition just be written clearly. So regular people understand it. Yes means yes, no means no, and there's nothing else attached to it. You know, like they'll say, all right, here we go. Proposition 51 allows the sales of nine billion in bonds to pay for for new kindergarten to 12th grade, and community college facilities, the basics.

Roughly six million students attend K you know what the fuck it is proposition 51 wants to address the needs by allowing the sale of nine billion in general obligation bonds to pay for buildings and modernizing K 12 and community college. It's the first school bond measure on the state ballot since 2006. It's unusual because it's sponsored by the building industry. Okay, right there, the fact that it's sponsored by the building industry means they're going to charge us up the fucking ass. And in the end, even though they get nine billion, they're going to come in with the fucking tab of about 15 billion. And then they're going to be like, well, we already started. So I guess we got to physically move from talking shit and something like that.

Typically the legislator would be the path for getting this kind of proposition on the ballot, but it hasn't been able to do so in recent years. Yeah, the fact that the building industry wants to do it, you already know this is crooked as shit. What you're voting on about seven billion nearly eight seedling this shit, seven billion would be allocated to the K to 12 thing and what another two billion would be for the community college. I got to read all of this shit. Supporters include developers, builders, school board officials and business groups. I don't get any of those people. All right. Supporters say, all right. Supporters say, many of our schools need repairs and upgrades to make them safe for our children. That's very vague proposition 51 will improve

education overall and help expand space and community colleges. So more students can attend opponents say prop 54 would add to the state debt, which is already more than 400 billion. How the fuck is California 400 billion in debt? Bond measures should be passed locally, giving communities control of how the money is spent. Ah, Jesus. I mean, do you feel any closer? All right. So there's one comment. Close the border, eliminate anchor baby citizenship and re-institute and re-institute of all provisions of prop proposition 187. Let's talk about building more schools. Sorry. I used to always vote yes on these. Now Sacramento has changed my

vote. I always vote no on school bonds. Quid pro quo, baby. What does quid pro quo mean? What a fuck is it quid pro quo meaning? I love that everybody else is dumb as me. A favor or advantage granted or expected in return for something. That doesn't get me any close to understanding it. Quid pro quo. Jesus fucking Christ. What am I in law and order here? Quid pro quo means an exchange of goods or services where one transfer is contingent upon the other. English speakers often, is this tit for tat? Yeah, Jesus fucking Christ. English speakers often use the term to mean a favor for a favor. Phrases with similar meanings would include give and take, tit for tat, and you

scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. Quid pro quo. I guess that's the fucking snooty way of saying that shit. Let's go back to close the borders here so I can try to figure out what his fucking point is. Oh, I get it. Close the fucking borders and then I'll fucking, then I'll give money to this. All right, I see what the guy's saying. I don't know if it's right or not. All right, fuck politics. All right, you know what? I tried. I fucking tried. Old Freckles has not flipped out about technology and I figured out how to watch the NHL on my phone because somebody in the room knew how to do it and they walked me through it and at one point I started to get upset because I go, it's not going on. He goes, what do you mean it's not going on? That's supposed to

go on now and I go, and then I started to get mad. I go, why would it go on? Why would it go on? It's me. If I fucking on it and just brought it down, bring it down, bring it down. You know what I mean? Like you ever seen somebody like revving up the engine ready to do a burnout? And then I brought it all the way down, you know, before the tires stopped moving and I realized that was not the tires. I was actually burning out the clutch. That's one of the most disgusting things you'll ever see is somebody trying to do a fucking burnout. And I don't know what happens. I still don't quite understand. I've never done one. I just never wanted to beat the shit out of my car. I basically get it with a stick shift. I don't know how you do it with an automatic. I've watched

fucking the videos, but it's basically you get your RPMs up, you let the clutch out, and then you stomp on the fucking brake. So your tires are already fucking going, but somehow if you fuck that up, you let the clutch out, and you're revving the engine and your tires aren't fucking moving, and then you burn out your clutch. And it's, it's the, I don't know what that smells like, but the smoke is evil looking. All right, let's move on here. Oh, did anybody watch the Patriots game yesterday? Cleo, get over there and lay down every, oh, isn't about you. Go on, go lay down, go lay down. I can't even fucking begin to tell you how much I enjoyed that, that the fact that the fucking Patriots beat the bills yesterday, I didn't say this

because I take a beforehand because I take a nod. I get what Bill Belichick does in his press conferences where he's like, I'm not going to say anything negative about anybody. I'm not going to give you any advantages because you fucking fat cunts in the media are going to take this and give bulletin board material for the other team. I got to tell you watching the fucking Buffalo bills when we played them, when we had a third string quarterback with a broken fucking hand or whatever the fuck was wrong with them, how they got in his face before the game was such a bush league fucking move to the point like I've always liked Buffalo. I might be done with that franchise. Like I used to give a shit. Ah, you know, they lost four in a row. Now I'm just like,

you know what, fuck them. You know, it's like you're that insecure that you're not going to win the fucking game that you got to try to pull some shit like that. And I was just like, but then I was just thinking you're like, you know what, two great things happen. We lost. So now we don't have to deal with the pressure of the fucking undefeated season, all of the extra media hype that comes if New England's going undefeated, if you fucking Indianapolis with old fucking, what the fuck is named there? Peyton Manning, you can be all the way to 13 and nobody's saying nothing, man. They're right down the street from them calves. Right. So you took that away. And then also I'm like, the Patriots are going to beat the shit out of this fucking team the next time because of that

bullshit. Because I know in house, they must have talked about it. And there you go. He get 41 fucking points, whatever the fuck we scored against you. Haven't said all that. I'd like to say a lot of positive things like Tyrod Taylor's, I can possible to fucking tackle. I know the bills had a bunch of fucking injuries and I'd make those excuses, but they don't give a fuck. Those fucking animals, they don't give a shit. They were talking all kinds of trash to a third string quarterback, like they were coming out on the field, getting ready to lose another fucking Super Bowl. I love that you're fucking ringless. I love that you're four and three. Hey Buffalo, we're on our way to the playoffs. See you next year, fuckos. Oh, I enjoyed that. I really fucking enjoyed that.

You know, fucking Rex Ryan told them to do it too. Oh God, I've been waiting to go off on this. You fucking get out there and you fucking fucking fucking fucking because we're the best fucking fucking in the fucking AFC fucking East. Yeah, go have another fucking hero, you tub of shit. You want to talk about cheating, you know, we let a little air out of the ball. He got fucking that stomach gastric surgery. He's not fees a fat fuck. He cheated. Letting air out of the ball. He had to fucking choke out three quarters of his stomach so he could actually see his dick every once in a while. Oh, sorry. Sorry. Anyways, yeah, I, and I got to tell you something else to fucking watching this world series.

I've gone back and forth back and forth and back and forth about who the fuck I'm rooting for. I mean, how do you do it? One team's waiting fucking 70, not quite 70 years, right? 68 years. Is that what it is? Yeah, 68 years. The other team hasn't even been to the fucking world series in 71 years. And I know you guys think, well, Bill, you're a fucking Red Sox fan. How can we not for the Cubs? I was totally for the Cubs until I saw the 30 for 30 on fucking Bartman. And when I watched it, all of their, hey, let's play two, you know, hey, you know, we're the lovable fucking losers. We always show up. We just root for them. All of that went out the window. The way that they fucking, what the, what they did to that kid,

I just looked at that shit going like, that's exactly what would have happened to that. If someone in Boston did that, New York, Philly, Cleveland, these Cubs fans for all their fucking, you know, Mr. Smith goes to Washington fucking Apple Pie and Chevrolet way that they did. They're just like us. They're fucking animals. I'm not saying they're as bad as Bill's fans or that fucking franchise. Those cunts, the time I was wearing a Patriots hat, it was the Bill's jets I was rooting for the bills. I'm taking a piss in the bathroom and somebody pushed me from behind while I was taking the piss. What kind of a fucking coward? Maybe there's a reason the last four in a fucking row. You know, I used to think it was because of my

he was just too nice to win a fucking Super Bowl and he went up against Jimmy Johnson. Let's get him some hookers and a Corvette, right? And fucking whatever that other guy's name is, Jerry Jones with his real housewife fucking looking face. Good Lord. That guy always looks like, you know, he got like first degree burns on his face or maybe like slightly like into the second degrees, but he was like, all right, he refused medical treatment and he just put some salve on his face. I know I'm going hard this week. I don't know why I have no idea why I'll tell you why. You know why? Because last night I wanted to fucking come home and do my goddamn podcast, but my wife, you know, wanted to watch a scary movie. So I said, okay, let's watch

it. So we started watching that, but doka doka, whatever the fucking that thing is. And I got about like, I got about 40 minutes into that movie. It's like, honey, I don't want to watch the rest of this. All right, I hate watching scary movies because I buy in, I fucking buy in. And I'm just like, I don't want to watch this thing terrorizing this woman and their kid for the next fucking 90 goddamn minutes. Because I know neither one of them is going to die. And I know eventually they're going to figure out how to put but doka doke back into the fucking thing. And then they're going to do something with the book that lets me know that there's going to be another one because they're always, you know, fucking horror movies can never just fucking end.

You know what I mean? Every one of them, they got to get greedy like Friday the 13th part, fucking 97. You know what I mean? Nightmare on Elm Street. You know, they did like 20 of those Hellraiser 15, Evil Dead part six, they just want to keep fucking going. And I don't know. I just don't like fucking sitting there being have an anxiety. You know, and with each scene, they gradually going to ramp it up. The first time, oh, it's just a little bit of knocking. And then there's a shadow. And then, you know, I was just like, this thing's going to I got a bad feeling this thing's going to kill the dog. And I don't want to fucking see that. All right, they already foreshadowed in the book that that's what's

what's going to happen. You know, they kind of showed you basically with the pop up book. Fuck off if you think I'm ruining this. It's this is like paint by numbers. Every fucking one of them I get upset because I just hate so I was like, I don't want to watch the rest of this. So she ends up shutting it off. And then she's like fucking pissed. She's like fucking pissed at me. And it's just like I like Westworld. My wife doesn't give a fuck about Westworld. I'm still on episode two because every night I want to fucking watch it. She's like, I want to watch the real housewives of fucking St. Louis or whatever the fuck it is. So anyways, let me get back to the Cubs thing. So right out of the gate,

not only is the country it seems for the for the Chicago Cubs, it's kind of having this vibe of this foregone conclusion that they're kind of going to win this thing. So I have family where I had family back in the day out in Ohio. My grandmother worked for the Cleveland press, you know, and way back in the day, I had family, you know, I just had family about there, right? And so growing up, I kind of was, you know, I was always a Red Sox fan, but you know, I kind of, you know, through my relatives also kind of rooted for the Indians. You know what I mean? Like I didn't, I didn't mind the Indians, even though they were in our division way back in the day. That and the Tigers, you know what I mean? Just because

of relatives, cousins and all that shit. So I was just like, you know, I kind of like the fucking Indians and you know, that Steve Bartman shit, like the level that they took that to, that's exactly what would have happened in Philly and all this shit. If it happened out in LA, that poor kid would have got killed. You know what I mean? You know, San Diego or Sacramento or Fresno or one of these fucking lunatic fucking cities out here where they take sports Oakland way too seriously, San Francisco, you know? So it made me just kind of fucking sort of pull back. And then also it's like, you know what, I'm kind of over these fucking cities that have two professional teams in one sport. It's like Chicago won a World Series. They won it

in 2005. And that whole fucking thing where it's like, well, that was just, that was for the south side of the city. So what, you need another one for the north side? Fuck the white socks and the cubs. If one of them wins, just fucking jump on a subway or walk three blocks downtown or uptown and join the fucking parade already. Same thing with the Yankees and the Mets, the Lakers and the Clippers and everything in fucking New York, Giants, Jets, Yankees, Mets, fucking Rangers, Islanders, Knicks and Nets. Just fuck off with that shit already. It's a New York team. If they win, buy your championship hat and go down there and just be happy that especially New York that you're so fucking filthy, stinking, fucking rich that you're going to have eight teams

where everybody else is doing backflips that they just have one in every sport. You know, isn't it amazing that New York has all those fucking teams and they don't win that much? You'd think that Jesus Christ, you got eight, eight at bats every fucking year. The fucking Yankees, I swear to God, are like the sugar daddy of New York City. You know what I mean? The Giants are the favorite son and everybody else is getting written out of the will. That's basically how it works with the sports in New York. You know what? New York should get three teams in every fucking city. Maybe they could fucking do something other than the Yankees and the Giants. I have totally fucking respect for them, but Jesus Christ, the fucking Knicks

should combine with the Nets. You know, make like a fucking dream team of those two shit shows. Same thing with the Rangers and the Islanders. You know, I don't know. The Jets and the Mets, I don't know what they should do. They should both retire and they should start playing badmen. Oh, Jesus, Bill. So anyway, so I'm really fucking sitting there and I'm loving seeing Terry Francona killing it and it gets all the way up to three games to one. All right. And I don't know, something happened. Okay. My Cleveland friends, comedians, one of them in particular just starts, he's just talking all this shit and blah, blah, blah, blah. And he starts to, we got, we won the basketball.

Now we're going to win the baseball. You know, you watch, we're going on a fucking run. You got it with no fucking respect. And he's talking to a fan from Boston. You know what I mean? It's just like, oh, you're going to win two in one fucking year. Yeah, we did that. We did that a couple of times. And then we won every fucking, we did all of this other shit. I'm not fucking throwing that in your face. I'm always the guy going like, I don't know, they'll say, no, no, no, the other team's tough. I never believed we're going to do it until we do it. And then we do that. I'm fucking psyched. And you can go back to my podcast. I wasn't even a cunt one when we beat Seattle. So these guys are acting like such fucking cunts.

You know what I mean? Oh, we got LeBron. We're going to fucking do it again this year. Oh, LeBron. Oh, you mean the guy that you guys all burned his jersey and you're all done with? Verzi called that one. Oh, Paul Verzi called that one. Paul Verzi fucking when he was in Miami, and these Cleveland fans were saying, fuck that guy, blah, blah, blah, blah. Verzi said to him, you guys are all going to be sucking his dick when he comes back to town. And they were like, no way, that's never going to happen. Well, it's happening. That whole city's on their fucking knees. So anyways, so at some point after they went up three games to one, I went back to the Cubs. The reality is, is I don't give a shit who wins this fucking thing because it's going to be great

for one city. It's going to be devastating for the other city. Obviously, but so here's the deal. This is what's at stake with this world series. If the Cubs win, the Indians become the Cubs. They become the ones that have gone the fucking longest, all right? So they can't fucking lose. All right. If Cleveland wins, all right, not only the Cubs still the Cubs, as far as my quick research research showed me, the next people in line for second place would be the Colt 45s slash Houston Astros that started in 1962. In 1962, the Chicago Cubs were already 54 years into their drought. Okay. 1962 is 54 years from where the fuck we are right now, right? So the Astros are 54 years into their drought where the Cubs were in 1962 and the Cubs are now twice that at 108.

I don't know what the fuck that means. Does that mean that you should go play the lottery right now? 54, 62, 108. I have no idea what that fucking means. It's just, you know, one of those, one of those number things. But I got to tell you, it's almost fitting that if the Cubs were going to win that they would torture their fucking fans to this level. And it's fitting that if the Indians were going to lose it, they would go up three to one to lift their fucking team's hopes. This is why I think the Cubs are going to win. If Terry Francona wasn't in that dugout, the master, by the way, he needs that guy needs a nickname like the assassin. He needs like a boxer nickname. Like remember lights out James Tony, you know, or the executioner Bernard Hopkins,

he needs a name like that. It's just that he doesn't look like that. But that's exactly what that guy is. All right. But what I'm saying is because of what these teams have done to their fans, it would be fitting that the fucking Cubs wouldn't just go in and win the fucking thing. So their fans could just relax and finally enjoy your series. They would have to go down three to one before they'd come back. And then Cleveland couldn't just lose the series, they'd have to go up three games to one. So this is what's crazy about three, you're up three games to one, you're like, Holy fuck, you're starting to take the wire off the champagne bottle at that point, right? But then all of a sudden, you fucking lose game five. And just instantly it's like, Holy fuck,

if we lose the next one, it's all tied up. So now the pressure is on the Indians. I'll tell you the Cubs are going in there, they're playing loose, they got nothing to lose other than fucking a 108 year drought. I don't know who's on the mound. I don't know what, but I'm going to say the obvious, the Cubs got to go, they got to score early and make the fucking Indians tighten up. That's what the fuck they got to do. Or that's what's going to happen in game six, either the Cubs are going to score early, Indians fucking tighten up and then lose the game. And then we get a game seven, or if the Indians go up early, it's going to be a bloodbath. It's going to be a shit show.

I'm hoping the first thing happens because I want to see, I want to see a game seven against a team that hasn't won it 108 years and a team that hasn't won it and fucking, what is it, 68 fucking years, 68 is adorable to a Red Sox fan. That's fucking hilarious. I'm out of here. That's like, that's what we were there in like the 70s, right? What was 68 for us? What was at the Mets? Let's see, 1918 to 1978. That's 60 years. Right. Yeah, 86. That was 1986. So you're just a Bill Buckner. Go fuck yourselves. You know, you just did Bill Buckner. As far as where I'm coming from, you got to go another fucking another 18 years to 2004. So I guess I won't root for the Indians. No, I can't. I fucking,

I don't know. My relatives got me into the Indians. I don't know what to do. I don't know who to root for here. You know, I'm rooting for, I'm rooting for a game seven, rooting for a game seven, and then they're going to go up against each other. And one team's finally going to win that critical game seven to get the monkey off that back. And then the another one is just going to add another giant cinder block right on the fucking hearts of their fans. It's going to, oh God, this one has train written all over it. All right, let me read a little bit of fucking advertising. Ah, Jesus, the ability didn't fucking copy and paste them. I hope by the way, you guys are watching the series because it's been unbelievable. What a

fucking great series it's been. Oh, Christ, what am I doing? Come on, Bill, click here, click there. All right, how many do we got here? All right. Okay, here we go. Oh, Lucrete, everybody, give me the loop. Are you looking for gear, collectibles, housewares and more and more from your favorite pop culture franchise? We've got you covered. This is how like hipsters and I guess nerds get laid. You know, this is all about Lucrete should be like nerd crate. You know, it should be like a pocket pussy in there or something. We've got you covered. Lucrete offers a range of geek and gamer items for less than $20 a month. Gamers are weird. They're either total nerds or they're like fucking jocks. Have you noticed that like video games kind of transcend

like the whole, what was that Matthew brought up movie war games sort of thing? You know, we get the underwear on top of your head and you're like trying to make a woman through your computer rather than just fucking getting a hooker like a normal kid who plays sports with hand-eye coordination. You just, you know, because what it is is nerds don't know how to flag down a hooker like we're an athlete, you know, sends the signal to his athletic hand, you know, and just brings them in. All right. You want to bring your loot to the next level, get a bigger box with even bigger loot with Lucrete DX. If you're more than the type of love to see the sizes of these fucking t-shirts, what do they start at? I just picture everybody who goes to

Comic Con, looks like a young Bert Verlanche, Bruce Verlanche, who's that fucking guy with the red glasses, who thinks he's fucking hilarious and writes all the speeches for people. He's really the craft of writing jokes and he has those Sally Jesse Raphael glasses. If you're more than than the type to wear your geeky, he looks like a, like, you know, where the wild things are, like the way he has his hair and shit. If you're more than the type to wear your geeky heart on your sleeve than loot, wear, sorry, our monthly wearables and accessories subscription is the droid you're looking for. That chill running up your spine isn't your imagination. It's loot crates, October theme, horror. We're taking over 40 years of creepy, campy, bloody icons and putting

them in this month's loot crate. Channel your best final girl with items from the Walking Dead Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13th, Texas Chainsaw Massacre in Halloween. What's final girl? I gotta look that up. You have until the 19th at 9 p.m. Pacific to subscribe. Well, it's the fucking 31st, the 19th of what? That month's crate and when the cutoff happens, then it's over. Make sure to head over to www.lucrate.com slash burr. Enter the code burr to save $3 off any new subscription today. Just go to the website. I don't know what the fuck they're offering now. I'm sure there's some sort of horror movie that had a turkey in it, right? So that'll take you into November. Oh yeah, what's his face?

What's his face there? We did Reservoir Dogs, Quentin Tarantino. He did that movie, Sex Giving. All right, Dollar Shave Club, everybody. Guys, you know to go to Dollar Shave Club for a fantastic shave there. What you probably don't know is that they have other amazing products too. The quality is the best on the market. Their body wash is great and won't dry out your skin. Their pre-shave and post-shave stuff keeps your skin soft and smooth. Their stuff will have you looking and smelling like a million bucks. Oh well, it must have just came from the mint, man, because money's pretty filthy, right? You don't want to put that anywhere near you. Dollar Shave Club got stuff for your hair, for your face, for your underparts, for everywhere you

want to keep you, to keep you feeling and looking fresh. Once you're in the club, you'll see they got the best grooming products out there and they're affordable. Right now is your chance to see for yourself why so many people love Dollar Shave Club. If you're not a member yet and have never joined now's the time, you'll get your first month of raises for free. Just pay shipping and that's only a few bucks. Join today. Go to dollarshaveclub.com slash burr. That's dollarshaveclub.com slash burr. That's actually great shit. You know what I mean? You look and smell great when you go on a date. You know what I mean? That's good for the ladies. You know, maybe they'll be a little less upset when you go to make your move that night. All right. What do I want to talk about now?

Let's go, let's go to, oh, I went down to, I went down to Lago last night, been slogging through my new fucking bullshit, trying to see where the new hour is going to come from. And I don't know, we'll see. We'll see. All I know is I don't have any fucking rogue gigs till February. So I can just totally chill out. I've been working out and eating like a fucking animal though. You know, I made this pumpkin bread and shit. You know, Rogan gave me some of that elk burger I made late last night and then a slice of pumpkin bread after it. So it's weird. It's like I'm in really good shape, but I also got this belly. But I don't know, like I love the fucking holidays. And to me, the holidays is you throw down your cook, you make stuff for your

friends. You know what I mean? Fuck that. I'm not getting a fucking bottle of champagne. You know what? I'm going to finish this fucking podcast and I'm going to go out and make some goddamn pumpkin bread. All right. I'll show my wife. I'll show her who's boss. By the way, you guys really enjoyed that two hour podcast, huh? I think we just went into a zone. The two hour podcast is a long ass fucking time. Unless you're hanging with Joe Rogan, who I hung out with and finally got him on the podcast last Thursday, if you missed it. Once again, he has a new amazing stand up special called triggered. We talked about everything from hunting elk and wild fucking bore to working out UFC shit, election stuff, stand up comedy. Just had a great fucking

time. But his special is on Netflix. So definitely check it out if you get a chance. And all right, let's get back to, um, let's get back to the, uh, the podcast here. Oh, F one action and F one action. I totally missed the fucking race, but I read up on it. Lewis Hamilton wins again. For those of you sort of keeping score now that I'm been keeping score, um, you get 25 points if you win 18 for second, 15 for third, then it's 12, 10, eight, six, four, two, one, right? That's the top by the top fucking 10 works. Um, Cleo, you could not be more adorable right now. And what it is is she wants F O O D. I got up a little bit early to do this podcast. So now she's come over, she sat down next to me, her ears are down and she's rested her head on my arm and she's just

staring at me like I don't know what's going on. All right, dude, I got another 20 minutes, just fucking relax. No, no, no, no, not coming up on the couch. Go on, go lay down, go lay down, go lay down. Cleo, get out of here, please. Jesus Christ. What the fuck? I get it. Get out of here. Cleo, get off of the couch. Lay down. Oh, now she's needy. All right. Anyways, so Ross Berg had a fucking league in the last two fucking races, Hamilton has won both. So he's shaved 14 fucking points off of the lead. All the fucking Nico had to do was fucking win one more race. I felt if he could have won it yesterday, he could have wrapped this thing up. I'm kind of glad that he didn't because I want to see the person fucking wrap it up. So the next race, I believe

is in Brazil, which is not until November 13th. And I apologize to F1 fans because I know I got into this shit and then I've just dropped the ball and like the last four or five ones, but I'm fucking living in this goddamn house. I fucked up. I forgot that it was this week and that I actually figured out through Apple TV or some shit that I patiently worked my way through and actually figured out that I could actually get, was it NBC Sports? Is that the name of the channel? And I could have watched the game, should could have watched the race. So I got to go home today, my house around the fucking corner, tape that fucking thing. By the way, the kitchen's just come to a grinding fucking halt. I don't

know why, but they're still telling us that they're going to finish on fucking time. So whatever, whatever, I'm sure they will fucking sure they will. All right, let's get out of this. Let's do some, can I talk about now? Did you guys watch Clemson, Florida? Fucking amazing game. I also watched the, not Clemson, Florida, Florida State, but I also watched Florida fucking Georgia. And you know, I was thinking when I first saw it, I was just like, man, I got to go to that game. I got to go to that game in Jacksonville, the biggest outdoor cocktail party in the world, as they say. And I'm like, I bet the fans are cool with each other. They're fucking, you know, because it's a neutral site. You know, everybody's just psyched to be away from their house. Sorry,

I'm fucking yawning here. Georgia scores first, they cut to the Georgia fans in the stands. And I clearly see this guy turned around, not facing the field and just giving the finger to the Florida fans above them. And I'm just like, wow. All right, it's at that level. Okay, it's at that fucking level. You know, I really had no interest in going to that game. I'd want to go to the swamp and I've been to a Georgia home game between the hedges. And I've been to a Jacksonville versus Bengals game. So I felt like I'd been to that stadium. But after seeing it, I was like, fuck, man, that looks like fun. And I always have a great time in Jacksonville. Everybody shits on Jacksonville. It's a good fucking time. If you take the stick out of your ass,

you can go to a gun range, shoot guns with the, with the fucking silence around. All right, Cleo, the only thing I'm going to do is just sit here and pet you as I do the rest of this. All right. All right, Westwood. Dear Bill, glad you love Westworld. For some reason, he wrote Westwood in the beginning. Glad you love Westworld. I look forward to hearing your thoughts on the rest of the season. If you like that and you're looking for a great movie to watch, check out the 13th floor. It came out in the late 90s and deals with similar themes. Are you into reading fan theories a common one now that is a non spoiler is that Ed Harris's character and the nice guy who's new to the park are the same person. Another claims that it's actually all on Mars.

Oh, for Westworld? Yeah. Well, I got to get caught up before people ruin shit. I'll definitely check out the 13th floor. And I think I'm going to watch an episode, episode three of Westworld, because I think they're up to five at this point. I'm going to watch that today. And I'm going to get caught up in, you know, because my wife fucking cheated on me with TV. You know what I mean? When you guys have your shows, right? We watch that show below deck with a yacht. He's get on there, right? And it's just, it's a reality show that we can both watch because they're always in the fucking Mediterranean. They got a fucking yacht. It's the shit. We always think, ah, we should do that and be fucking awesome. And then you look up the prices and it's like the price of a house

to rent one of those fucking things. You got to be like Beyonce and Jay-Z, like both of you can sell out the Rose Bowl on any given fucking night, you know, you got to be that level of wealth to fucking justify. Do you realize that two of them are almost worth a billion dollars? So for them to blow 250 grand on a fucking yacht is like, let's just say you're worth $100 million. If you're worth $100 million, 250 grand is like 0.25% of your money, right? Cause a million is like 1%, right? So I don't know how to work that out. It's like 25% of 1%, whatever the fuck that is, of your money. And they're worth 10 times that. So that, that's like you and I go, hey, you want a yacht for a

week and you take a penny out of your pocket and you break it into four fucking pieces and just hand it to them. There you go. There you go. Yeah, we'd like all the amenities. Anyways, I will definitely be, uh, be checking that out. Ed Harris is like, as always, as always, one of the greatest actors of all fucking time. I'll watch anything that that guy's in. I swear to God, the only thing I never saw was when he was the one where, oh, fuck. The only one I never saw was the one when he played the painter and that got nominated or he got nominated for an Oscar. So I still haven't seen that one. So I got to check that out. All right, old toys, uh, dear Billy potato head. I love that. That's a good one because that kind of

shits on my Irish heritage. And then also makes fun of the shape of my head. Um, if, if, if you ever have kids, will you try and expose them to toys that you enjoyed as a child? You strike me as a matchbox car kid. I don't force the toys of my childhood on my kids, but I've put a couple army men in their general area to give them a chance to play like I did. I am a huge, um, um, agree of that proponent of that opponent of that proponent. Oh, that's what proponent means. You're pro, right? I never knew what that meant. I just kind of figured that out. Opponent, proponent, old pumpkin bread, pro pumpkin bread. I get it. Um, yeah, absolutely. I absolutely, uh, I absolutely will do that. Um, my big thing is playing catch and, uh, you know, I'm going to buy

a fucking, I'm going to buy a, uh, a lefty glove for myself is what I'm going to do because I can throw a little bit with my left hand and rather than just sitting there firing it into my kid, I'd, I'd fucking, uh, I'm just going to, I'm going to go with the left hand. We were doing that yesterday. We had a football, right? This place that we're renting here has this fucking great pool. So it was halftime of the Florida game. We were out there smoking cigars and shit. And when we finished that up, we got the game turned up loud. So the game became, there was four guys, right? So you had two on one side of the pool, two on the other side of the pool. So you had to throw with your opposite hand. First person that sent it into the pool, or if you had a catchable ball and it fell

into the pool was, uh, I don't know, whatever the fuck it was, was, was that thing, that word you can't fucking say anymore. Cause everybody gets offended and it's not a racial slur, but it is, you know, you know, you know the word. Um, nobody said it, but we all knew we had, you know, without saying, you know, we're older guys, like that's what it means. Um, so anyways, uh, yeah, I would definitely do that. I was, I was not a matchbox car kid. I was Corgi cars. We used to call them Corgi cause we didn't know it was pronounced Corgi until we got older. And I'm so old that I remember when they had rubber wheels on them and I had the giant oil truck. I was big. I had all the race cars. I had the Johnny player special. I had the Jackie Stewart elf car. And my mother doesn't

throw out shit. So I still have all of them. Um, I had one of those, you know, that, that kind of racing where the car just looks like a giant doorstop. Um, it wasn't formula one. It wasn't, it's not Indy car racing. It's not open wheel. You know what the car looks like a water slide like you could, you could slide from the fin all the way down to the front. I don't know what kind I had a white and red one of those, um, Lincoln logs, Lego, Lego blocks. Um, um, you know, stuff like that. I think it's big to not have to keep your kids, you know, I don't know. You got to get them outside and you got to, you got to keep them in their own. I don't know. I have such a hatred of computers and iPads and all of that shit. Um, and kids just

love them. I mean, they go up to it like, you know, liquid television type of shit, you know, back in the day, the MTV, I remember that graphic. I used to just make me want to sit down and watch it. Um, I don't know. Mr. Potato Head. I don't know about that. Definitely like board games. I think it'd be fun playing cards. I think it's cool to expose your kids to that. You know, so they have like that old school shit. Like, wasn't it always the greatest? Like, when, like for me, if I met, uh, some woman, I took her out on a date and she had, she had some old school stuff about her. You know what I mean? That stuff that was sort of passed down. I think that's really like a cool thing. And I think, uh, like some shit, like playing cards, playing catch,

like going outside is just like, you know, riding bicycles, just like all that shit is going away. And, um, I'm not one of these old people that I look at young kids and be like, you know, what are they doing today? They're fucking nuts. And these kids today, they don't get it. And it's just like, um, I totally get why they're doing it because I had to tap out Grand Theft Auto three in like 2003 or 2004. I had, I had unplugged my PlayStation and stick it in the back of the closet. I literally just one day, it was like the fifth day in a row. I was just playing all day long and I could not stop. I had already beat the game. I got the cheats. I did all of that shit. And then I was just going on rampages every night, just shooting up the city. And, um,

I just, you know, I kind of just lost everything else in my life. I wasn't writing jokes and all that shit. So that was like 13 years ago. So I can't imagine how amazing the games are. And, um, um, like the virtual reality goggles and all of that shit. I can't even fucking imagine, like, how you get your kid to go in the backyard and just have a game of catch. Like to me, that's the greatest fucking thing ever. I think it's a great way to communicate with your kid. You know what I mean? Cause it's like you're doing, that's another activity going on. So they're not really paying attention. You can praise them when they're doing well, you know, build up their confidence. And then you just slide in. So how's it going at school? You know, and then you just read them.

That's going great. All right. So it's going good. If you hear him kind of look down, you know, it's all right. What's the matter? What's going on? And they can kind of open up to you. I think it's like a great way to, uh, I think it's really important early on to be able to do that. To have your kid be able to come to you if they have a fucking problem is a, uh, is a huge thing. But, um, how you sit there with a glove and a ball and, uh, how that competes with putting on fucking reality glasses and you feel like you're going to fucking base jump off of a building or whatever the fuck they do. I don't know what the fuck they do with those things. Um, yeah, that's a, uh, that's, that's a difficult, that's a difficult one. I love Lincoln logs. I like,

I didn't like Lego blocks. You stepped on them and your bare feet, they fucking hurt. Not the Lincoln logs did, but like that plastic shit. I wasn't into that as much as, uh, the Lincoln logs are cool. We used to fucking build those things. We build houses and then we would, you know, with that corgi, corgi car, corgi cars, whatever the fuck they called, drive them around. We'd have traffic jams and all of that type of shit. We had names for everybody that drove the cars. Remember, I had all the fucking race cars in, in all my, uh, it's weird. They drove like a formula and car to work. And then they drove the trucks. I had trucks and racing cars. Then my other brother, who's a total fucking gearhead, he actually liked, like the real looking

cars, like a Volkswagen bug or like a station wagon. Like he wanted to look like the cars that you could actually fucking drive. Um, I know my mother didn't throw all of those out. Jesus Christ is fucking nuts. They're all up in the attic somewhere. All right, election bill. The election is right around the corner. A couple of weeks ago, you, you eulogized the Great Barrier Reef. Any last words for this election, uh, not the country as a whole, because I don't think it'll fall apart by an imagine this has exposed the side of our country that we've been able to keep under wraps for a while, which is that no one ever pays attention to anything unless it's an easy talking point. Um, not everything is more fucked up than we know or would like to

admit. What's the worst thing that will happen if either candidate wins? Uh, well, if Trump wins, the worst thing is we're going to have to listen to all these European countries talk about how dumb Americans are, especially people in England. And I just want to say to them, like, you know what, what if you threw out the person every four to eight years, and I would love to see what the fuck you end up with. You know what I mean? Some years it's just not a good draft. The fucking, whatever the fuck his name is, Tony Blair, that guy's been in there since Bush, not even saying that guy's good, but you just get somebody in there and they just stay there until they die. Doesn't he have like Margaret Thatcher's job? Oh, the original Hillary Clinton, Hillary Clinton

can't even say her fucking name. What's the worst that will happen? Um, I don't know if Trump wasn't such a fucking jerk off. He wasn't such a jerk off. It's really what the country needs. You need somebody who isn't a part of the fucking system. You don't, but you just can't have a guy like that in there. And then Hillary is just going to be more of the fucking same. It's just going to keep driving this country towards ruin. Dude, none of them talked about the population problem. None of them talked about the nationwide heroin epidemic. None of them talked about genetically altered food. None of them talked about fucking global warming. Maybe they touched on it for a second. They haven't said shit. They're not going to do anything. None of them. I'm going to try to

stop the banks, put them in fucking line. They're building another real estate bubble. I'll tell you what's fucking hilarious out here is they are building up LA like I've never fucking seen. They bought up the house of blues right across the street from the fucking, um, um, from the fucking, uh, uh, comedy store. They played like $28 million for the thing. They're going to put these, these high rise fucking million multi-million dollar fucking condos in there. It's like, who the fuck's going to afford to buy those things? All right. And this is the thing after 2008, after we saw what happened, they fucking gave the house, none of the bankers went to jail. They gave them the houses back so they could do it all over again.

They're building another fucking bubble. And I'm already calling it right now, by fucking 2021, 2022 or some shit, there is going to be a bunch of empty fucking condo fucking high rises going along the sunset strip. And they have knocked down the rainbow room, the Roxy, the wicks, whiskey, house of blues, maybe the comedy store. They're going to wipe out all of these fucking things. There's going to be nobody in those buildings. And even if they are in those buildings, they're going to have no fucking place to go because they knocked down all the cool places to hang out on sunset strip. It's so fucking stupid. You know, I was getting gas the other day, another place on the sunset strip. And this guy said, I say, yeah, you're on

the gas station. He goes, I wish I did this property just sold for 14 million bucks. And, you know, they're knocking down the two buildings next to it, and they're going to put up a fucking, you know, 170 unit fucking, I don't know. I just don't know where all these people are going to be coming that can afford to pay. I just don't know where they're going to come from. And for what I heard, you know, at least the ones on La Cienega that was like oil money, you know, like Saudi Arabian money came in and they don't give a fuck. I mean, they got money forever. I don't know. What's the worst thing will happen if either candidate comes in is that they're not going to stop what's already going on. And I got to be honest with you, I don't even think like,

you know, all the Bernie Sanders and all those types of people, you would literally need an army of those people. And then they would need bulletproof vests to fucking, that's how powerful corporations are. And that's how off the fucking rails we are. I don't know, which is why I'm trying to focus on the propositions. And I wish if anybody can find a fucking website out there that not only lets me know what I'm voting for, but lets me know what is attached to it. Like, because who doesn't want to improve the schools, you know? But you know, whenever they have stuff like that, like, hey, let's clean up the drinking water, then they attach all this other evil shit underneath it. I don't know. I don't know. It's, it's very overwhelming. So it's so fucking overwhelming

that you're asking, extend up comedian what's going to happen. Or maybe you just did because you want to hear me make a fucking ass of myself. All right, here we go. Cool guy, terrible in bed. Oh, Jesus. All right. Dear Billy Bush beer. I'm a 20 year old female college student. I go to Holy Cross. Oh, in. Oh, he said is I go to Holy Cross. Oh, okay. I go to Holy Cross in Worcester. I had a boyfriend for the first three years of college and now I'm single. I hooked up with a guy that I didn't know was kind of an asshole. He's sort of popular and seemed friendly. One drunk and night I did the worst thing I could do. Fed his ego. Had I known he was a moron in a pompous

douchebag, I would not have done this. I'll save you the reasons why he's a douchebag, but just picture lame 80s preppy bully who thinks he's God's gift. Again, I didn't know this because I'd never paid attention to him. Well, after we hooked up, he told some people that I told them he was the best fuck I ever had. This found its way back to me and bill. I was shocked. Why? Because he was the worst fuck I ever had. He had no idea what he was doing. He was for lack of better words, not present. No rhythm and average at best. I wasn't mad at this because it was my choice to hook up with him, but now he's putting words in my mouth. I really just want to tell someone how bad he was and wait for it to get back around to him. What is my move here? Bill

and or Nia. Well, wait a minute. Did you say he was like one drunk at night? I did the worst thing I could do feed his stupid ego. Does that mean that you slept with him? I can't tell you by feed his ego. You, you, he was so bad. You felt like you had to say something nice. Now there's no fucking way you said, there's no way you said he was the best fuck. I think you're saying, yeah. Yeah. I think you're saying that you fed his ego by hooking up with him. Had I known he was a moron and a pompous dude. Okay. So he's walking around saying that you said, and you're also saying he's putting words in your mouth. So I'm assuming that you never said that. So fed his ego means that you fucking hooked up with them. That's what I'm guessing. I don't fucking know. Christ,

they speaking riddles. I wasn't mad at this because, um, well, oh, this is a tough one. I would, I would call him up. Then when he picked up, I'd be like, why are you walking around saying that I said you were the best fuck I ever had? I never said that. Okay. I never said that. Okay. And hear what he says. And you know something that might be a thing. This is the thing. This fucking, a lot of these guys like this are tremendously insecure. Maybe he knows he doesn't know what the fuck he's doing. So he's walking around saying that so he can feel better about himself because he feels that awful about himself. And he feels so fucking awful about himself

that not only does he got to go that big, that the fucking way he feels about himself is such a big thing that it doesn't, he doesn't even think that that's going to get back to you. Or he doesn't even consider your fucking feelings. So you can either be the biggest person and know that this person is tremendously insecure and walks around and probably doesn't like themself, which is a fucking horrible feeling to have. And just take peace with that. Or you can call the guy out, which I kind of like. Okay. And I, you know, and at that point you gotta be listen, if you were the best fuck I ever had, I would have said that to you. And just leave it at that because you haven't told him that he's completely fucking inept.

You know what I mean? But you're also kind of putting the guy in check. And then you have your final option, which is, you can go around saying that he wasn't the best fuck I ever had. He's fucking terrible. And then you know what happens is everybody just gets to sit back and enjoy watching you guys fucking do this shit. I understand why you'd want to do it. I don't know. I don't do the revenge thing. I kind of go to the person that's doing whatever they're doing that's fucking annoying me. And I just kind of chopped the head off there. And then if somebody comes up to me and says what they said, I would say, I would just say it personally. Yeah, that isn't true. I never said that. I don't know.

I don't know what the fuck to do. I'm sorry that this happened to you. And at 20 years of age, it's probably hard to understand a lot of the shit that I'm saying that of what that guy feels about himself. But, you know, you can't have somebody walking around saying shit like that about you. So I would, first thing I would do, I would confront the guy, call him up and be like, why are you saying that? I never said that, you know? And if you continue to say that, and if he kind of goes around, if you continue to say that, you're leaving me in a position here that I have to tell them the truth. Okay? You're not the best fuck I ever had. All right? I don't know. I don't know. That's, that's a, you know, guys, if you listen to this thing

and you're a young person, that's such a fucking asshole thing to do. All right? That's totally coming from your own goddamn insecurity. All right? And as an older wiser fucking man, you know, I wish that somebody older told me that when you hook up with somebody, you keep your fucking mouth shut. You know what I mean? You're quiet about it. You know, it happened. Who gives a fuck who knows? You know what I mean? That's, it's an insecure fucking move. And just sit there and then she did this and then did that and she fucking did this. Like, that's a really fucking asshole thing to do. And in women, if you hook up with the guy, and he's fucking terrible, or he's got a little dick and all that type of shit, right? If he's not out there talking

shit for you to walk around fucking doing that too, that's another fucking asshole move. It's an asshole move either way. And in this case, the guy's the asshole. So I don't know, you know something? If you can hang on until Thursday, I'll run it by Nia. I'll have her on again and I'll run it by her. It's just that she's still sleeping here. So anyways, all right, let me, that's it for the questions. Let me read the last two advertisements here. And then I got some pumpkin bread to make. All right, SeatGeek buying tickets online for sports and concerts has been a confusing process for a long time. It's always been hard to find the best deal for that game or show you want to go to. And none of those older ticket sites want to change that. But it's SeatGeek,

it's different. They've come along and created an amazing app and website that makes it easier than ever for fans to buy and sell tickets. SeatGeek does all the price comparisons for you by searching multiple ticket sites and ensuring that you get the best possible deal. And SeatGeek wants to help you get the most bang for your buck. That's why every ticket on SeatGeek is given a grade based on value. You'll immediately see why any underpriced seats, immediately see any underpriced seats and be able to find the best deals fit for your budget. Best of all, my listeners get a $20 off rebate, their first SeatGeek purchase to get your $20 rebate on tickets, download the SeatGeek app, go to the settings tab and click add a promo code, enter promo code burr, SeatGeek will send

you $20 and after you've made your first ticket purchase, oh, after you've made your first ticket purchase, download the SeatGeek app and enter the promo code burr today. All right, and stamps.com, our old friends here, some small businesses still think an expensive postage meter is the only way to get postage without having to go to the post office, but they are wrong, wrong, wrong. There's stamps.com. Oh, with stamps.com, you can easily print postage for any letter or package using just your computer and printer. No extra hardware to buy, no long-term contracts. Stamps.com can save you at least 50% compared to a meter, plus you can do more with stamps.com than you can with the meter, like send package tracking information to recipients with one click. The choice is clear.

Stamps.com offers more features at a fraction of the cost. I've been using stamps.com for years for my show, for my posters, actually, it makes mailing and shipping really convenient. Right now, sign up for stamps.com, use my last name burr, B-U-R-R, to get a four-week trial plus a $110 bonus offer that includes postage and a digital scale. Don't wait. Go to stamps.com before you do anything else. Click on the microphone at the top of the homepage and type in burr, B-U-R-R. All right, that is it. That is the podcast. Let's go cubbies. I want to see a game seven, and then... Listen, I don't want to see either one of you guys lose. You know what I mean? You've both waited long enough, but I got a roof for the cubs in game six because I want to see a game seven.

All right, that's it. I got my app. The NHL app is working for me now. I'll be watching Bruins Games and that type of shit, and I'm going to try to watch that Formula One race for all you fucking gearheads out there. All right, go fuck yourselves. I'll check it on you on Thursday.