Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 10-31-22

Episode Date: October 31, 2022

Bill rambles about Halloween, robots, and getting flashed. MeUndies: Get 20% off your first order, free shipping, and a 100% satisfaction guarantee at www.MeUndies.com/BURR

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Podcast for Monday, October 31st, 2022. 2022, what's going on everybody, how are ya? Yes, it's Halloween, alright? And if you're an adult, do yourself a favor. Let the kids dress up, stay out of it, alright? All kinds of, you know, cute things happen when kids dress up as their favorite, you know, superhero, cartoon character or what not. When adults do it, you know, all of a sudden somebody makes a pass or somebody's fucking

wife, somebody wears something socially not correct and goes to work and gets that dumb ass fired, you know? Don't do that. Don't go eyes wide shut, don't fucking show up in a Klan suit being like, no, I'm not in the Klan, I was dressed, I'm dressing as someone in the Klan. What do you mean I can't manage it? You can't manage a restaurant wearing that? It's a crackle barrel, yeah.

I'm not saying you can't go out there and just fucking, you know, do whatever the fuck you want to do, not saying that, not trying to wag my finger at you, okay? Is all this phonies out here in Hollywood love to do? We love to tell you how to live your lives, don't we? Well, you guys, all I am is just seven country boys, I'm just leaving all my guns and my fucking pigs. None of that's true. None of that's true.

Those are just the stereotypes. The reality is, is most people tell other people how they should be fucking livid, you know, and they're called motivational speakers. You know what I miss? I miss the guys late at night that would be screaming about whatever product they were trying to sell to the point, like they had veins would be popping out of their fucking necks. Remember that guy?

I don't even know what he was selling. I just remember he had long blonde hair that he had, and I think in a ponytail, and he would just be screaming, I used to be a bit about that guy like 25 years ago, the fucking guy was always selling something, and he'd be talking to somebody, and they would be speaking in a regular voice, and he would just be screaming at them about whatever, the latest hunk of shit that he was selling. What happened to that guy? Anybody know where that guy, I hope that guy still has his money, because there's no way

he still has his voice. The only person I ever saw scream like longer than that guy consistently on my television was Brian Johnson of ACDC. Anyway, so it's Halloween, I'm going to take my daughter out. I want to take my son out too, but my wife thinks he's too young, but I don't know. I don't think so. I guess he'd want to run around and shit. Who knows?

My kids are still young, so we go out earlier. I still remember when my daughter was three, and we were going out trick-or-treating, we were having a great time, and I said to her at one point, I go, how are you doing, buddy? How are you doing? And she goes, I'm doing good. She goes, Dada, Dada, I'm not tired. I'm not tired. She knew.

She felt me trying to wrap it up, and I was just like, oh, wow, okay. She fucking is loving this and is on to what I'm trying to do. So we went to like 20 more houses, came home with all of this candy. It's funny, and she eats her candy the way I guess my wife did when she was a little girl, where I guess my lovely wife would try to make it last as long as she could, and she would still be eating it and snacking on it in like March, which is weird to me. Maybe it wasn't that long. I on the other hand would go home, and like that night just begin, just, you know, my

parents would be like, you can have one piece of candy and then go to bed, right, the fucking the rules, right? So we would do that, and then like, you know, the next morning we wake up before they even knew it. We already had like fucking five pieces of candy, you know, all that shit, Charleston chew, all those shitty fucking just candy bars. I feel like a way better, like there was some really bad ones like Charleston chew was fucking terrible.

I don't know what I don't know what was in it. It was chocolate sort of on the outside and had some sort of white filling that wasn't quite marshmallow, and it wasn't quite like Nougat, like they didn't even use Nougat anymore. That's like one of those like man made things. Anyway, I'm just saying, you know, don't go to work as a woman dressed as a fucking prostitute. All right, because some guy's going to say something and then, you know, I know you're

not a prostitute, but whatever, you know, this is comedian Cynthia Corey used to do this fucking bit. It's a timeless joke. I first saw her do it in the late 90s was talking about women. I think, you know, walking around going, I'm a cat, I'm a cat. She's like, no, you're a whore, just coming in with like no fucking clothes on. It's one of my favorite fucking like just like the very few timeless jokes, but you could do that joke today.

You could do it 25 years ago. You probably could have done it in the 70s. Anyway, plowing ahead here, all freckles all freckles watched a little bit of sports this weekend. I watched Game One of the World Series. And still, they have not brought up the fucking Astros, that the Astros fixed the fucking World Series. So I started trolling them on the fucking on the internet, just to fun on Twitter, just

to get it going. Let's get it. Come on, man, you got to get it going. Let's let's let's get give them the shit that they fucking deserve. There is a deal like, you know, I don't give a fuck that they did it. What I give a fuck about is that people aren't still talking about it. OK, because I watched my team like trumped up charges, like complete horseshit that got fucking thrown out of court, lasted for fucking 10 years. Oh, they filmed the Rams practice.

We never filmed it. It was complete horseshit. Everyone knew it was horseshit. They kept reporting it. And then six years later, after fucking talking about it, the goddamn ESPN does a fucking tweet at two in the two in the morning, retracting it. These guys fixed the fucking World Series. I mean, they got to be getting this shit.

They the storyline is the Houston Astros are trying to win their first World Series without cheating. And this is what gets even better. It turns out one of the guys on the Astros in the first game was using a bat that was illegal. OK, now some are saying it was because the head was too big. Another was saying because it's a dangerous wood and it could splinter. That's what Astro fans are saying. You know, some MLB guy like stated that and then quickly retracted it for whatever fucking reason. So who knows what.

And then the pitcher last night was wiping all kinds of goop off of his fucking wrist. I mean, they're just a dirty, filthy, nasty little franchise, aren't they? I'm enjoying every second of this. They were up five to nothing in the baseball. God said, you guys cheat too much and they lost that fucking game. That the Phillies came back. That's the one thing I would be nervous about if I was an Astro. If I was rooting for the team that fixed the first World Series

since 1919, when the Chicago White Sox did it. I would be worried that the Phillies beat Justin Verlander and they don't quit like last night. They were down five to one, still got a guy in base, still brought him in, still scoring runs in the ninth, still kind of making Astro fans uncomfortable. I got to be honest with you, like when the Astros got caught, I didn't give a fuck because of all the steroids and that type of shit. So I was, hey, you don't good on you, whatever.

You're banged on a trash can. Good for you. My thing is you should be getting shit for it. And then I met some Astro fans and the way that they were blowing off what happened, the way that they were blowing off, like you literally fixed the World Series and everybody does it. Everybody does it. It's like, no, they don't, they don't. You know, everybody took steroids. Everybody, if they had the money, you know, loaded up on free agents.

Everybody didn't fucking do what you guys did. Um, so that's all it is. I just want to see them get their shit and I've been enjoying the hell out of it. It's actually been a really good series. And as far as being honest with you, as far as a picture was, you know, putting stuff on the ball, that is something they all do. And hitters actually appreciate it because they don't, they want the guy to have some control, you know,

if somebody gets up to like wild thing and hit you in the head, you can end your career, your fucking life. So as far as I know, I don't think baseball players have that big a, uh, issue with it. But, um, I think the Phillies are, are, I think it all depends. I think it all depends on what's going on. But, um, I don't know. I don't, I don't know what, but I am enjoying that the fans are at least talking about it.

And I am absolutely astounded that ESPN has not said a fucking goddamn fucking word about it and they drag the Patriots for 20 fucking years, not 20 years from 07 right up until Tom Brady left. And then Tom Brady leaves and wins the title. And then they all start going, uh, is Bill Belichick nothing without a, I don't know, did it really come down to the fact that Tom Brady was a good looking guy? I think a lot of it did because the,

the fucking joy that people are getting, watching him having a tough season and, uh, ripping him apart and then enjoying watching him go through a divorce is bizarre. Um, like who, who's fucking happy that somebody's going through a divorce, you know, or looks at it like, Oh, there, this, you know, the next four hours of this radio program right itself, um, and then also the amount of people that like, uh, I don't know that they give a shit about athletes, personal lives like that.

Like you're supposed to be into sports. You're not supposed to be into the real housewife shit. So why would you give a fuck about what this person, you know, it's not like anything crazy happened. He's getting a divorce. Who gives a fuck? It's none of your business. Like leave the guy alone. Um, leave Britney alone. Um, so anyway, I, uh, watched, yeah, I watched that first game and then I was clicking back and forth,

just sort of watching the score in game two, because I was watching Michigan versus Michigan state. And, um, I love that game. That was a great big 10 game. Couldn't score a touchdown. Kick the field goals. John Madden football. I loved it. All right. And, uh, one of the announcers was going to be these field goals, better figure out how to make them touchdowns. We're looking at a tough time against Ohio state. It's like,

they're not playing Ohio state right now. And they're taking what Michigan state is giving them a team that beat them to the last two years in a row and they're making the field goals. And they're the, the, these field goals is what's making them win the fucking game. Like, I don't understand at what point the field goal became like, like this loser move, like getting three points is a bad move.

And you should just go for it and, and, you know, push all your chips in every fucking hand you dealt. I just don't fucking understand it. Paul Brown back in the day with Lou, the toe grows, uh, they changed football. They showed how important the kicking game is. And now they're literally trying to fucking get rid of it. They're almost trying to get rid of the punter. Now do you go for it here in the first quarter rather than going three and out

on your own 18? I'll tell you right now, it wouldn't surprise me at third and 12 on their own fucking 18 in the first quarter. Uh, I'm surprised they didn't go for it right there. Fucking madness. Um, I haven't said that, uh, by the way, what was a great game. Um, it's just great to see that Michigan stuck with, uh, Jim Harbaugh and he's brought the program back and that the,

the Michigan Ohio State game is going to be this great competitive game. And it has been since he's been there, especially with that fucked up spot they gave him, um, back in the day. Um, although now they have the replay because they gave, they fuck Michigan on a spot in the first quarter on a fourth down and, um, they went to replay and they got it right. So we shall see. Um, Ohio State played yesterday. They didn't actually have an easy game.

So I don't know why that guy was talking about like how, you know, going down the field and putting points up on the board was somehow a bad thing. Um, you know, like that we would be somehow losing to Ohio State. It's like, it's going to be a completely different game. If we're playing Ohio State and we're losing to Ohio State and every time we go down the field, we kick a field goal rather than get a touchdown. I understand saying it then,

but when you're playing Michigan State and each time you kick a field goal, you put another three points between them and you thus increasing your chances of winning the game. I don't understand. Like even now, when you kick a field goal and you're winning, they're going like, yeah, you've got, you've got to get a touchdown there. I mean, we got to, we got to start getting these, these field goals got to be touchdowns. It's like, we're winning. We're winning the fight. You play to win the game.

Anyway, so I was flicking back and forth. I was mainly watching that, that game and, uh, watched it right through like the third quarter and then I went outside and, uh, took an old man walk as I did, uh, underrated the fall out here in L.A. The couple of weeks that we have of it now is nice. Um, did I watch anything else? Uh, I have no idea, but I will say this. I think if the whoever wins the next game wins the world series. That's what I think.

Phillies just have to be up in this, uh, I just feel like they're down to one. They lose two in a row and then they got Verlander coming back for another one. I just don't see it. I think, uh, the Astros are playing catch up. Um, that's the position that they want to be in. I know they came back in game one. I don't think that they can, they can do that in a game. I don't know shit about either team, but like, I don't know,

everybody talks about game five being important. I mean, they're all important, but, uh, I think it's, I think the Phillies really need to be in the driver's seat. There's nothing to his fucking Al Tube hasn't hit fucking shit until last night. Until last night. So the story would be like, well, you know, it was kind of amazing when they were banging on that fucking trash can. You knew what was coming during your home games. I mean, you, you were, you were like an all star, you know, and then last night they're just going like, you went, you got three hits. He's back.

It's like, all right. All right. This is just me, you know, being a cunt because all of you guys, including fans of the Houston Astros, you guys all sat back and you let that fucking drug addict piece of shit, Jim Ursay, slander our fucking team. And you guys all went along with it cause none of you could beat us other than the fucking giants. And I never heard any shit coming from the fucking giants. Okay. They just went out and beat us. That's what the fuck they did. Oh, you other fucking asshole sat there. His shoestrings.

You're not regulation. All right. Sorry. I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to stop. Let's stop right there. Okay. Before, before it starts to get ugly. Um, anyway, I've been, uh, Oh, Patriots beat the Jets. I did, I did mention that. I, I, uh, I saw some of that game. I just been, um, I've been trying to go to the gym every day and, uh, and now I, I just, I don't know. I overdid it with the coffee the other day, like two days in a row.

I had a cappuccino and then I got a double espresso later on the day. I did that. I know, I know, I know. There's a bunch of coffee drinks going, dude, dude, what the fuck are you doing? So I went to bed Friday night and I was just restless all night with like this ambiguous anxiousness. And the only thing I can attribute it to was like, it was like I was having a panic attack, but I wasn't freaking out about anything.

And the only thing I could attribute it to was, was drink it too much of that fucking caffeine. And I haven't touched the stuff since and I don't fucking miss it. And, um, I don't think it's good for you. I think every once in a while, if you enjoy it, it's all right. But I think when you need a nap and your brain saying, I need to fucking chill to clear the cobwebs, because you know that feeling you get when you take a quick cat nap,

like right before you take the nap, I mean, you, you feel your brains in a fog and then you wake up and you're fresh. Like your brain needs that. And the fact that you drink coffee and it, it makes you plow through that. It's kind of like Coke, right? Or that five hour energy shit. All of that stuff is like, I'm tired. Now I'm not tired. No, you're still tired. Your brain is still tired. It's just can no longer let you know that.

So I, I think in a way it's kind of, uh, I find it like unsettling because we, I got some dementia in my family and everything and I heard like naps, learning a new language, learning an instrument, shit like that is good. It's good for your brain. Sort of like taking your brain to the gym. But I really think like naps are, are, are like a big thing. And, um, you know, I think some people, they got like, uh, this pride that they don't want to be that older guy who just nods off in a chair.

You know, you know those old people, like if you just fucking put them in a chair for too long, they're like a dog. Tell a dog to go lay down in the corner. Come on, get out of here. Come on, go over there. Lay down. Like two seconds later, they're sleeping. Um, I think the more you act like a dog, you know, I don't mean fucking public. I mean, there's sleep patterns. You know, I just, just make sure I clarify that. Um, I think the more like you, uh, you, you do that,

the better. And I think when you get tired, that's how I ended up drinking coffee. We were shooting the movie and I was fucking wiped out and somebody goes, you want a coffee? I was like, I don't drink coffee. They'll go to wake you up. And I, and like, I just, I, I needed, I had, you know, I was working and we were doing a late night. So I said, all right, what's a cappuccino? They go, all right. They got it and I drank it. I thought it tasted kind of weird or whatever, but all of a sudden, you know,

I air quote, wasn't tired again. I wasn't tired. And then the next night I drank it again and then, uh, it's kind of slow during like the edit, you know, you just sitting there looking at this footage and your brain's getting tired, trying to solve shit that you don't have the skill set to solve. Um, I just started drinking fucking coffee. You know, there was a couple of days I was in the edit room and I just said to the other people there going like, listen,

I'm just going to shut my eyes for a second and they just kept working. And I literally, I can't like, when I take a nap, I can't do like a half hour. Like I only sleep for like six to eight minutes, but I did it and I woke up and I was fucking fine for like the next three hours. So this brings me back to what I was talking about with the myth of the siestis in Spain and in Mexico and all of that. I could, that would be amazing. If everybody could just not tease everybody about their bedhead when they

came back to work or whatever. Um, that's just not how the corporate world works. And then corporate lawyers would also scare the shit out of people going like, oh, it's going to happen if somebody's going to fall asleep and, uh, somebody's going to get sexually assaulted. That's when you'd have to spend all this money with pods where they could feel safe, that they could actually sleep next to their coworker. They were just, it's going to be prohibitively expensive. Just get a coffee machine. That's okay.

That'll be fine. Um, anyway, I have no idea what the fuck I'm even talking about at this point. Um, so anyway, Gabe three is coming up and Astro fans, you know, I'm just fucking breaking your balls. I'm breaking your balls because, you know, they should be broken. And, uh, that one Astro fan I met where he was, everybody, everybody does this. Everybody doesn't do this. These little things, there's a little thing. That was a major, major, major fucking.

I mean, look, everybody cheats. Absolutely. But when you cheat at that fucking level that after they, they, they catch you and they punish people and then everybody just shuts the fuck up. That's next level cheating. You're cheating fucked with the integrity of the game. That's what that was. So fuck you Astro fans. All of you guys fucking coming at me, not liking that. I'm giving your team shit. I'm having the same fun you were having with trumped up charges against the

Patriots. Um, so anyway, all right, let's, let's do the, uh, let's do the read. I've been doing all right at the gym, by the way. I have been, I've been hitting the, uh, hitting the elliptical and all of that shit. Oh, by the way, next week, if you're not into college football, get into college football. You got to watch Tennessee versus Georgia. This is for the,

this is for the number one fucking seat, uh, whatever ranking in the country. Um, Tennessee already fucking handled Alabama and knocked them out of the playoff, right? So what sucks is Tennessee and Georgia, neither one of them is just going to put Ohio state out of their misery. That's Michigan's job, but neither one of those teams are going to beat Tennessee or fucking Georgia or

possibly even Alabama. Like, I don't know what goes on in the SEC, but it's just played at a different fucking level. It just is. Um, all the other like football, it just looks like it's slower. So anyway, Tennessee versus Georgia, number one team in the country, versus the number three team in the country. Uh, Tennessee for my money, it has the next Randy Moss at wide, wide, wide receiver. Um, that kid Hilton and, um, he already made Alabama look foolish. So I'm wondering what Georgia's going to do. I wonder what their,

their defense is like. I wonder how you keep that kid from getting behind you. I mean, he's the closest thing to just uncoverable that I've seen, um, in a while. And man, if that kid has another big game, if he has another, if he has a game against Georgia, like he did with Alabama, I mean, he's going to be like, unless there's a big quarterback coming out, I would think he would be top three. Right. Is that what you would think? Yeah. I'm a comedian. I don't fucking know. I don't know things. Um, anyway, I wrote it, this book, Solon Ice, and it just came because I saw a store

out here in Los Angeles called Solon Ice and it had all these cool sport jerseys. I haven't gone in it, but I was just driving by and I was like, what the, oh, I go, oh, let me, so I Googled it just to see what they sold in there. And then I saw it was a classic book written by this guy that was in prison, ended up joining the Black Panthers and all of that. So I get the book and I start reading it. And, uh, the guys, you know, talking about all those experiences being a, you know, black guy and being in prison and all that. And then like he went out and made a conscious choice to become a rapist. And I'm like, what the fuck am I reading here? So I don't think I'm finished in that book. I will list, I will, I have empathy until you

start raping people. Okay. An American classic. Um, that's what kills me is that's what, that was the review it got groundbreaking and all of that shit when it first came out. The insights and all of that, you know, which are there, but at the end of the day, the guy made a decision to become a rapist. He says why he did and all that and tries, but I don't know. I don't know. I can't, I can't go with you after that. That's, that's, I'm getting off of the next stop. I'm out. Anyway, sorry. Just like, I'm just, whatever. I'm just talking about what's going on in my life, speaking of what's going on in my life. Oh, fucking Billy fucking feet up. Uh, I mean, you know, lazy about doing fuck all as they say over in England.

Um, I go, I haven't been on the road in three weeks. I go back out this week. I'm going to be in Peoria, Illinois, hometown of the great Richard Pryor, the greatest standup comedian there ever was in my opinion. Uh, I'm playing Chicago and, uh, that's free dates. I don't know where the next one is, but the tour, sorry, yawning here. The tour is winding down. I got 13 dates left and, um, then it's going to be freckles on ice as I'm not doing shit. I'm going to take a much needed break for a little bit. I don't know how long I'll, you know, no one, me, it'll be about, about 10 days. And then I'll just start losing my mind and I'll have to suck in and start doing something else. But I'm going to take a little bit of time off.

It's been a great run. I want to thank everybody that's been buying tickets and coming out to my shows. It's been, uh, it's been incredible. So, uh, thank you to everybody in advance who's coming out to see me this weekend. I'm going to say a bunch of dumb shit and I hope I make you laugh. All right. And with that, let's get to the, uh, let's get to the, uh, the reeds. I got one read here. Oh, but it's me on these everybody, but up, but me on these me on these. I will read your book, but do do do me on these me on these, even if you are a crook. But if you start raping people, that's when I'm out. I don't give a fuck what you said. I'm going to shout. Let me off at another, the next fucking stop. I don't give a fuck what you have to say. You're fucking rapist.

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Go to me on these.com slash burr. That's me on these.com slash burr. There we go. And with that, let's do the reads for this week. Everybody Astros and Astro fans writing it. Bill, correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't you go on several rants that, that the Astros didn't do anything that bad? Um, no, that's not what I did. He goes and I quote, they all do it. I don't want to hear about some jerk off hitting a trash can when the Yankees bought half the league and the Red Sox. Yes, that's what I said. That's what I said. Uh, in the last few weeks you said, and I quote, I mean, they knew what pitch was coming next. Here's where I extend my handheld recording device in your directions and say comment. Well, I hope you're listening. I hope you're listening. This is my

beef. Is not that you fucking cheated and fixed a world series because you did. I didn't give a fuck that you did that because the Red Sox and the Yankees were fielding $200 million roided up free agent teams. Okay. So as far as I was concerned, teams like the Dodgers, the Yankees and the Red Sox couldn't complain. All the other teams could complain, but I'm a Red Sox fan. So I can't complain because of the ridiculous advantage that we had because we all have had all that money. All right. My complaint, my complaint is that no one has given you shit about it. Okay. I had to sit and watch fucking the NFL and all of these guys, these analysts, Steve Young, all of these guys trash in the fucking Patriots calling us cheaters all the fucking time. I'd

listen to that all the fucking time over trumped up fucking bullshit charges, even spy gate with like the magnitude of that was fucking bullshit. That was the first game was illegal to do that. And you can still have a camera up in the fucking booth. They just don't want it down on the sidelines. They feel it looks bad. It was an aesthetic thing. That's all the fuck it was. And we got ratted out by fucking Manjini, who's the coach of the Jets. He used to fucking, you know, do it with the fucking Patriots. You know, and we got like 12 years of shit for that. You guys actually fixed a fucking World Series and there's a gag order like nobody's talking about. That's when it pissed me off. If you've noticed, sir or ma'am, I haven't talked about it. I haven't given a fuck about it.

Like for the past five years, it's now that you guys are back into the fucking World Series and no one is saying like, well, let's see, you know, this would be great for them because the last time they won a World Series, there was the whole you fucking cheated scandal. That's what it is. All right. Did you get that in your recording device? If that doesn't sum up this, the way the world is right now, recording devices, filming people and all of this shit, everybody's trying to get everybody in trouble. It's really, you know, I always call young people like the rat generation. I feel like they're all like everybody's like that now. Older people are like that. Everybody just wants to try

to get somebody in trouble. It's kind of funny too because like the way we're wired, you know, it's hard to get out of your own head. So like what you see and what your brain then tells you, you saw is the truth and no one can tell you different, you know? And if you didn't see it correctly or more importantly, if you're a fucking moron, you know, you're not going to know that you're a fucking moron because you're trapped between your ears. So that's why I just feel like people just like film shit and they feel like they're like proving something and half the time they end up making themselves look more guilty than the person that they're filming or I love when you they just show like, like take that Michigan state thing or that Michigan player got

the shit kicked out of him. He got stomped, right? The first clip of it looks like they just jumped them. And then I saw a bar stool sports thing where the guy was skipping into where they were taunting them. You know, I mean, that's got to be the dumbest thing you could ever do. And I mean, I'm not saying what they did was right, but like that kind of puts a different spin on it. Like, well, that was pretty fucking stupid. No? That's not something I would do. It's like, you ever see somebody get attacked? Like, if somebody's like truly minding their own business and are where they should be, that's what I feel bad for. I always feel bad if somebody gets attacked. But like, if somebody,

you know, there's only once a year, some fucking idiot has to go to the zoo and test the animals and get too close. And then they find out, you know, how much faster or how much stronger they are. And like this, like, you know, you still look at it like that somebody's dad, that somebody's brother, uncle or whatever, but you're also kind of like, you're a fucking idiot. And now other people have to risk their lives to try and save you. I mean, that's basically the Coast Guard. I would love to get somebody on the Coast Guard that anonymously could come out here. That's basically the branch of the military strictly for fucking idiot civilians. Now, I'm not talking commercial fishermen, okay? They got a job to do. They got

to get out there. And I mean, the amount of fucking weekend warriors on boats, fucking people not paying attention. Hey, there's a rip tie. Don't go out there. They fucking get their dumbasses out there. I can't imagine. I mean, their job just has to be like, you know, one fucking idiot after getting out. There's a hurricane. Please stay inside. Don't go outside. People go out there with their fucking surfboards or they go out there with, you know, I got to get my boat out to sea or whatever the fucking is they're trying to do. And then they get themselves into a shit storm and some guys got to fly a fucking helicopter into that shit. And somebody's got to repel out of it to go down and pluck your dumb ass out of the

ocean. You know, they always have a load like those videos on YouTube where they have like, you know, dumbest criminals or like dumbest drivers or whatever. I bet the fucking Coast Garg could, could really, uh, I would think the same way some sort of whoever goes up and rescues those lunatic skiers and snowboarders. If you see those, they, they, they drop in and just, it's not even a ski resort. They just go to a mountain and they just drop in and they cause like a fucking avalanche. And now they're trying to get, now they're trying to like beat it down the fucking hill. If you die doing that shit, I always feel like, you know, do you remember when you were in the waiting room outside like the principal's office

and he would be in there, you know, talking to another teacher about something completely different, but you already knew that he knew what you did. And you remember that look when he would just sort of look out, look out at you and just for, you know, give you a nice three seconds stare that look, I feel like that's what God does when you show up sitting and you're like, you're not next to have your life judge, but like, he, oh, come on, come on in. You know, some old lady lets him in and then he just kind of looks out the door and gives you a three second stare. He's like, oh boy, here we go. That's when you got to come and be like, I know, I know, I know. It was stupid. I didn't think it was going to happen.

I mean, you should get mad at yourself. I mean, you're the one who made me, you know, maybe if he gave me a better brain, I wouldn't, I wouldn't have done that. I wouldn't have added to your day here, having to sit through another reel to reel of somebody's boring ass fucking life. All right. So anyway, so does that clear that up for you astrophant? Yeah, I didn't give a shit. I wasn't going to look at you guys like you were any worse than, you know, what the fuck we were doing. But my thing is, is you should get shit for it. You should get shit for what you did, because I thought I was being really cool saying that having roided up free agents was on the same level of knowing, you know, whatever pitch that was,

that they were hitting the breaking ball. You just knew that that pitch was coming. I mean, that's, that's a level of advantage that in hindsight really was beyond. Okay. But I had empathy for smaller market baseball teams that, you know, like the Cleveland Indians, like the fucking amount of the Yankees, the Red Sox, the Phillies, I lost count of the amount of teams that won World Series with a monster talent. You know, Jim Tomei, CeCe, Sabathia, Manny Ramirez, there was another pitcher in there. There was just a lights out fucking pitcher. The fact that the Indians never won one is insane. So that's, that's where I was coming from back then. But, you know, I still thought, you know, you were going to get, I was actually sticking up for you thinking that you

were going to get a bunch of shit, which you did for a minute and then it all went away. And then that's when it pissed me off. All right, Sam, I'm done talking about it. All right, shit ways to protest. Yo, Billy double time. I'm writing in to your fine podcast to comment on protests. My kid is in the middle school and one of the classes covered good ways to protest. The list was laughable slash creepy. Like why, why would they bring that in? Well, I agree if they say don't ever try to stop traffic. One of the effective ways to protest according to this list was shouting. It went on to vaguely say that it's not always a good idea, but shouting can be very effective in getting your point across. It should have included footage of

me and my idiot friends arguing at a sports bar. Also on the list was sabotage. Oh, all right, you know what? I judged this too early. I don't know what fucking school they're going. I kind of like this school. I told my kid if she got arrested for sabotage, I was going to testify against her and use the school distributed list as admissible evidence. So no one thought I was a bad parent. She knew I was kidding because I didn't raise a psycho who thinks that generally speaking sabotage was a good idea. Unless you're breaking into an imperial base with Migs Mayfeld. Mayfeld, yeah. Thanks for the free podcast. Yeah, I mean, it's like anything, man. There's a time and a place for yelling. There's a time and a place for

sabotage. It's all how you apply it. That's real. That's kind of the art of life. Everything for the most part is on the table, except reading a book written by a rapist. Uh, an admitted rapist, uh, skinny shaming. Hey, Billy barbecue head. Um, I love that we're talking about skinny shaming and then you're fucking immediately start trash. I don't get barbecue head. I'm trying to think about that. I have a ghost white head cast with a friendly ghost head. I don't know. Billy barbecue. Maybe it's just a litteration barbecue head. Uh, wife and I are big fans and I've been listening to the podcast for the last six years. Thank you. Always cracking up on the long camping road trips. Oh,

that's awesome. They're road tripping. Um, anyways, you're always on about fat shaming, but what about skinny shaming? I'm the youngest of three brothers and ever since I could remember, I've always been called skinny, the skinny scrawny kid. My two older brothers used to make my life a living fucking hell growing up, punching, kicking, throwing shit, getting pushed off my bike. You name it. Yeah. Yeah. That's what all the brothers do. Uh, too skinny and weak to do anything back. Mom and dad didn't care either. When I finally hit 18, I moved out with a few boys, few of the boys, and I lived the bachelor life for a few years. It was the same going out to try and pick up some flange. Uh, chick said, I don't know. I don't know flange. I got to look that one

up. F L A N G E chick said, I'm too skinny, no muscle, blah, blah. I meant my now wife at 22. I'm 36 now, but all my twenties, I keep hearing the same old shit. You're too skinny. You need to eat more when I hit 30. I said, fuck it. I'm tired of this skinny shit. I joined a gym and started eating 3000 calories a day. Six years on, I'm six, one, two, 55 with 12% body fat. Now when I see my brothers at my family gatherings, et cetera, I always threat slash fake punch them as a joke and they squirm like little fucking bitches. Ha ha. I know I can't keep this diet up forever, but I am slowing down, but still keeping active in my late 30s. Long story short, skinny slash fat shaming works. Bill, keep it up. Much love to you and your

fam from another ginger drummer, your cunt. Um, yeah, being skinny sucks and being scrawny, you know, when you're younger, cause all the chicks want to go for the fucking, you know, the beefcake guys, but, uh, those guys usually end up being fat fucks with man tits in the end. So you're sort of front end loading the shit. The same people trashing you, you will eventually be able to trash and having a high metabolism and being skinny is fucking great. Um, it's actually a great thing, I think. Um, I don't think you need to go to the gym too and eat like a bunch of calories and put on a bunch of muscle. I would go martial arts and they'd be that skinny dude that fucks somebody up, you know, you're already skinny. So it's just nothing but bone. It's like

you got a fucking, you know, you like, you like a fucking walking shank. Um, anyway, uh, robots filling prescriptions. Oh my God, what could go wrong here? You know what that's also like? That's like the, um, I heard they're getting rid of umpires. This is all just for money, I feel. At first it's just going to be for money to replace people and then the next move is they're going to try to make us feel inferior. So we accept our new place in life. Um, and then I think eventually they'll get rid of us. That's, that's how I think it goes. And we'll, and, and rather than rising up against them, we'll be too busy yelling at each other politically and, and racially and all that other shit. I will tell you, I was at a hotel and this fucking, this fucking, uh,

like robot cleaning thing came up and we could not close the, the, we could not close the, it overwrote road, like the elevator. We had to ride down with it. I should just fucking tip the thing over. I don't know why I didn't. It's like I'm not riding down with that fucking thing. And I remember it was like sort of like, I just, it was so fucking creepy. People who work in fucking corporations, I swear to God, they, they should all be put down. They're like, they're like fucking sick animals. I think the only thing that fills them up is just scaring people and creeping people out and shit. Like how much more fucking cool can life get? It's like, we have enough technology, just enough to stop. And all of these fucking egghead scientists,

they all end up working for sociopaths. You know, right back to fucking Albert Einstein. Even he fell into the same thing. All right. Robots filling prescriptions. Dear Bill, I work in healthcare IT. I don't know what IT means. I looked it up one time and I forget. Intensive tracheotomy. Let me see what, what does IT stand for? Here we go. Let's look this up. What does IT stand for? It's probably going to stand for a lot of things. Let's see. Yeah. What does it mean in technology? Information technology. All right. I work in healthcare information technology. I was in a conference call with a senior executive from supermarket slash pharmacy retailer with 2,200 locations in North America that starts with the

letter K. Please don't read on air. Oh, okay. Roger, I won't say anything. Like all of corporate America, uh, they want to automate everything they can. He said that they are testing automated machines to work in pharmacies and fill prescriptions instead of humans. He was very excited to report that the error rates by robots are way lower than humans based upon data from their existing pharmacy network. He said he could not reveal a deployment timeline but was optimistic about three to four years. Since you are putting in so much good effort to stay healthy, are you concerned that our future medications for blood thinners and other critical medication for our golden years will soon be managed by algorithms and

dispensed by automated machines? I've been to four of your shows and will happily continue to pay for tickets. Oh, that's what a nice compliment. Thank you. Best regards. Um, I'm not worried as an old person. I'm not worried about robots. I'm worried for you younger people and what your world is going to be. Same thing with like climate and all of that. It's like, you get to a certain age and you realize it's not about you. It's about what you leave behind. What are we leaving behind and all of that stuff? And I don't know how to get out of this. I really don't. The only successful way to get out of anything has always been violence. That's how this whole country came about. Genocide and then a revolution. A lot of people

fucking died and then, uh, you know, who would have thought those robber barons of the 1800s, the influence that they still have, the game that they set up and played so brutally effective would just like those heartless fucking people would just affect like everybody is just under the thumb of that. Like there's no fucking reason for all of this. It's, I don't know. You know, all you smart people out there who can like come up with these amazing things like robots being able to fill prescriptions, can't you? You know why? Because you get paid by sociopaths. Can't you just come up with something that like can figure out if somebody's a sociopath and when you get like a hit, then you literally just have like a hit man robot. Isn't a sci-fi movie

is like, what if you didn't upset the whole system is you just went out and whacked the right people with them. The non sociopaths have the ability to be like, all right, let's try to, you know, kind of ease up here, man. Everybody's sort of live and let live. You know, man, I don't know. I don't have any answers. You know, I just did the Tim Dillon podcast and I had a great time and I already knew that that guy was super funny, but he is a deep thinker, that guy. He thinks about big subjects and he was asking me a lot of this stuff and I was trying to be, I was trying to have hope, you know, because I feel like I've had a really good life and I got to live during, for the most part, a good time and I hope that when I'm gone that other people get to have the

same experience and I just feel like this type of shit with like putting all this money in robots because you don't have to pay for people because they have needs and they complain when you abuse them is kind of unsettling. All right, let's get back to the comedy everybody. Oh jeez there. Oh jeez there. Flashed at work. Oh my god. Hey Billy, the bald-headed bastard, I need your advice. I'm a 25 year old with a shitty delivery job. Today while listening to your podcast, I pulled up to a house in a gated community in the rich part of town. As I'm looking for a package, I see the guy who I'm delivering to run up to me, I guess I'm supposed to say in his boxers. I know, super fucking weird. All I wanted to do

was try to find this fucking package as fast as I can so I can get the fuck out of there. As I'm grabbing the package, I see him fiddling with his dick a little, fucking disgusting. As I go to roll down the window to hand it to him because he was close enough to the door that I can't open it. And what do you know? His 65 year old dick pops out. All I could say to him was what the fuck dude? I've seen a lot of weird shit when I'm out delivering but nothing like this. This is just one of the reasons why I hate my job and I'm kind of to the breaking point. Yeah I would think of fucking 65 year old dick. Good lord. Some Vietnam era dick flashing in your face. Yeah that would be annoying. I'm a college student so I know this is the only temporary but I'm not sure I can take

it anymore. If you were in my shoes, what would you do? Would you stick around knowing you only have a year left in school or would you quit and find a new job? Please come to Boise on your next tour. I'm going there. Thanks and go fuck yourself a man with hair. Oh you son of a bitch. All right now why are you at your breaking point? Because it's a shitty job or because you keep delivering to this person? Or is that the final straw? Look if you're at your fucking breaking point I would figure out a way to get another job. You know what you should get another job because you want another job. This is kind of a good moment in life where things aren't going the way you want it to go and you need to build the right

muscle memory here which is if you're in something that isn't working for you you take the positive steps to get out of that situation. So you're only 25 years old so I think walking away from this job and finding another one is not going to financially ruin you. It's not going to hurt you one way or the other and I think you went out there, you didn't like the job and then some 65 year old guy shook his fucking dick in your face or whatever happened. Yeah I think you know the line yeah I would say the line was there and he went over it and yeah that's a good thing because I can tell you what I would have done at your age is I would have fucking just I wouldn't have done anything. I would have continued to work there. Now if I had to deliver another pack to

the guy I'd have the package ready and what I would do is as I was driving up I would frisbee it out at him you know as I was like that's how I would handle that but I think it's a really good thing for you as a person to have boundaries. I think everybody should have those and you just have lines like hey you know this is the deal if you do this this and this I'm cool if you do any of these things I'm out and then you stick and you stick to it so it sounds like you want to you're resigning yourself to a year of fucking misery. I don't want to jinx you but like I feel like what can be worse than a job you hate and then some guy's shaking his fucking dick at you. I mean there's got to be a better job than that out there I would think

and you know what you're actually speaking of that I like you know a lot of people saying like you know a hiring but like nobody wants to work ever since you know the the COVID thing nobody wants to work I love how that's how it's processed. It's like maybe for the first time in their lives they had time to just stop and think and assess and see how fast time's going by and seeing how they're being treated and they would like to have a better life. I don't think people don't want to work I don't think people want to be treated the way that they're being treated. I think that that's more so I mean there's definitely people who don't want to work that would be me like right now I don't want to work. I'm a little burned out but like I know when I get to these points that I just

have to take like a couple weeks off and I'll be fine but like I don't think that people like literally don't want to work. Oh and there's something else I wanted to post out here there's some question that they're voting on like vote no on 27 or 29 or something like that and it was talking about how one of those sports gambling sites like because the company's based in New York in Boston like all the revenue from the money that they make goes to Massachusetts in New York state of New York and then they get all that tax revenue so to show how dumb it was they make this commercial they're going like yeah do you know that all the all the gambling money goes to blah blah blah goes to Boston and New York and then they just have like these Joe these

actors playing like Joe Sixpack people from Boston and New York like oh how dumb are they in California and then they have this woman going in Boston like hey Mack did you know California's just a state full of suckers and they got this guy in front of Fenway Park like jumping up and down like acting as though they get the money like the people get the like the people of Massachusetts the people of New York get the money they don't the governments get the money and then the people that get the politicians into the office and get their projects to go through and overcharge and all of that they get the fucking money I got to post that commercial because the the lady actually she looks like you know when I was growing up some fucking disheveled woman from Dorchester or maybe

up on the North Shore all right that is the podcast everybody Stomach growling here I gotta get something to eat over there enjoy your week don't take your dick out and shake it at somebody if you employ people treat them as human beings please don't replace them with robots and I don't know I got nothing for you go fuck yourselves I'll check in on you on Thursday from what I heard because my center rice packages and fucking work in the Boston Bruins have their best start in franchise history and Brad Marchand came back six weeks early uh I'm loving it all right that's it I'll talk to you later