Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 11-13-23

Episode Date: November 14, 2023

Bill rambles about Madison Square Garden, a cashless society, and Old Dads. Indochino:  Refresh your wardrobe with the best prices of the year during Indochino’s Black Friday event.  Secure your appointment now with sales starting in-store and online November 6th, at indochino.com.

Hey, what's going on? It's Pilbara and it's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday. November 13th, 2023. What's going on? How, yeah? How's it going? You like the new microphone? Crystal clear ignorance coming at you to start the work week. Sorry, I'm late. I had to fly back. I'm finally back home my last long run of the year. That's it. All I got is Vegas next weekend. One fucking quick One quick gig and that's it. That's it. And then I'm done for the whole year and I got nothing else. I got nothing lined up.

I ain't doing shit. Okay. I ain't doing fucking shit. That's my game plan. My game plan is I'm not doing shit. First of all, I can talk about old dads now. The strike is over. Strike is over.

We didn't lose too bad, right? It's only for three years. Each, every three years now, they're gonna do more and more AI until they lose, until I just get rid of fucking everybody. That's what I think. They're gonna start with extras and then they're gonna move to character actors

and then leads and then they're going to move to character actors and then leads and then directors. I think they're just going to gradually do that. But what's great is they're going to act like AI is for everybody. And how they're going to do that is they're going to give regular people robots that they can fuck any way that they want, right? And then they're like, oh, you know, I don't think it's all bad, it's convenient. It helps you with my groceries.

Fucking blows me. I like it. And then meanwhile, there's gonna be like a fucking switch in there. And they're just gonna take all of us out. You're gonna have it in, you're gonna invite the fucking devil into your fucking house. Oh Jesus, Bill, what happened?

I thought you were all excited that you God damn weak was your travel was done for the year. Yes, very happy about that. I had an amazing, amazing, amazing weekend. I end the rest of the week. I'm trying to think, I know it was the Thursday podcast. I don't know if I talked to you about the Atlanta show. I did the Atlanta show.

I had a great fucking time. Hung out with this great cigar bar right next to the tabernacle. And then I went and I did the show. And I was just killing, just having a great time. My buddy Todd Pocker came down, billionaire Boogieman, right? He came in, he did some time, Dean Del Ray fucking killed it. And I went up, I was just fucking perfect. I was killing everything's going great. I'm going into my last bit, you know, get ready to smile and wave and get out of

there and all of a sudden everybody starts yelling up That point at this person And I'm thinking like what am I talking about that has to do with this person? I guess something the crowd had some sort of medical episode I Think it was a seizure or something But they said they they didn't when they got to them they ended up like walking them out They said they, when they got to them, they ended up like walking them out, her out, I think it was a woman under her own power. She kind of had her head down and was embarrassed,

which as much as it sucks to be embarrassed, it's also a good thing that you're feeling the emotion of embarrassed, so that sounds like the person was all right. Which was a relief. I'm not gonna lie to you, it was definitely, I had to figure out how to get out of that. Like keep the show going as everybody's rubber neck

and look at it this person. So from what I heard, they were okay. So that's a good thing. And then the next night I went down to Hollywood, Florida and did the casino down there, the one that looks like a Les Paul guitar and Just had this incredible fucking view. I Could see all the way down to Miami Fort Lauderdale

and all of that and it was you know, I could see you know some of that really I love the architecture in In Miami. I just I don't know what it is that art Art Deco, and then there's sort of the lines, you know, that a lot of them had that S sort of shape to them. Very unique. I don't know enough about it to talk intelligently about it, but that is this podcast. So that show ended up being great too, and then me, Dean and Kenny flew up to New York City, and I did Madison Square Garden, and it was funny, like people were going, I ain't nervous, I ain't nervous,

and I was like, no, I'm not, I'm not, but what I was trying not to do is be thinking, I was kind of thinking like, you know what? I do an hour and 15 minutes, I say fucking good night, and then I am on vacation. That's what I was kind of thinking like, you know what? I do an hour and 15 minutes. I say fucking good night And then I am on vacation. That's what I was looking at So I was going in and I'm like that's not the right attitude to have Bill You need to give these people a show but of course once you go into the venue you're fucking your nerves get going and everything and I had

This one comedian open up that I saw on Instagram. That thought was funny. Leah Samson, she went up, she killed it, then she brought up Josh Adam. Maya's in then Dean Del Rey. I brought the two rock and roll comedians, made sense. And then the special surprise guest,

if you follow me on Instagram, it was the one and only Andrew Dice Clay. And he went up there and was just fucking murdering to the point I was backstage going like, why the fuck did I do that? You know, I should be on stage right now and he's just going to wear this fucking crowd out. You know, even though he's only doing 10 minutes, he's fucking dice, right? And this is his house, basically. So.

And then Saguora was hanging side stage. You know, Segorah is a fucking beast. I'm like, he's gonna see my new shit. I hope I'm funny, you know? Blah blah blah, right? Little bit of pressure there. And then Dice just gave me the greatest intro and gave me a big bear hug. unbelievable. That was unbelievable. I got to play Madison Square Garden with Andrew Drice Clay. If you told 21-year-old me way back in 1989 when I was watching

the dice man that I would ever even become a comedian, forget about work with him and do it at Madison Square Garden and he was going to say all these nice things about my comedy. It was fucking amazing. So thank you to him. Thank you to everybody that came out. It was such a great crowd. And you know, I've been doing these bigger venues. So I didn't have to adjust.

I just felt totally ready for it. And just, it was perfect. I came down there earlier, played drums. They had the drums mic'd up and shit. It was fucking ridiculous. My life is this weekend, it's just been, this whole week has been ridiculous. And then the next night, you know,

oh, then we had the after party, it got them comedy club. You know, Steve Mozilla thanks to everybody down there and everybody came down, they had the after party at Gotham Comedy Club. You know, Steve Mazzilli thanks to everybody down there and everybody came down. They had the cake boss, make a cake and all of that shit and all of my friends were down there. Like everyone from people I've known for like a year to like people that I started out with like 31 years ago. So that was amazing.

And then the next night I went back to Madison Square Garden with the lovely Nia. And we got to fucking go to the UFC sitting right down fucking low. Like front basically if there's one row, you know, the Joe Rogan row I'll call it that the announcers row and then there's a space and then The first row so we were like right there. I'll be honest with you I was fucking nervous. I was like, you know, I watched this violence like On on TV, you know, it was a separation. This is gonna be like right in front of me Watching some of the greatest athletes in the world just beating the shit out of each other I'm gonna be able to handle this

You know you never know so I ended up going down there and We sitting down there and I don't know why but for some reason being there You can see the adjustments fighters are making a lot easier than on TV. I don't know, it's because you're just sitting there watching it and you're not sort of like dealing with the director editing and so on. You can kind of just, and what I kind of, I don't know any of the fighter's names, so I don't even fucking start with me.

I'm too busy to follow the sport the way I need to. I do love it, I just don't have time. So I kind of noticed with like fights, it was like they were all, everybody was so fucking good that night, that it was like whoever figured the other person out first, won the fight and like, and I felt like all of them did it like a half a second

before the other person figured them out. Especially on like that last fight because I was just looking at those two fighters who look doing the yellow and then the dude in the red, right? And I was watching it and I'm looking at the dude in the yellow. And like that guy looks like he means business. The other guy looked like he wasn't in quite a good shape. So I said I think maybe the guy in the yellow is going to win this, right? Then the guy in the red comes out

and he's got this weird little fucking faint that he would do. He just didn't know what was gonna happen. He led with an upper cut and it landed. And I was like, oh, he's one of these guys, the weird angle guys. All right, let's see what fucking happens. And the yellow guy started coming back and I know the yellow guy's gonna win and the fucking red guy comes back

and then all of a sudden the guy in the yellow get me all right there Fred with a couple of fucking elbows caught him that was to end the night but like I can't even tell you how what a different experience is watching it that close it was fucking amazing it was amazing the only thing was annoying me was in between fights. All the fucking walking around and people talking and glad-handed. No one was talking about the fights. It was a lot of that pointing and fall at Hollywood. Shit, hey, fucking you, there you are.

And you know, you know what's fucking hilarious is when two straight guys go to hug. There's always that pause before the tense up and then the fucking literally hard slaps on the back. Um, type of shit. All of that shit that was going on in between, um, it was weird. I mean, yeah, we just sort of was sitting there talking about the fights and, uh, and then it was also cool watching when Joe gets up, Rogan gets up to go in, you know, to interview the fighters and stuff

because I was like watching him calling the fights too. And like that is not, I knew it wasn't an easy job, but watching all the movement that that guy has to do and then come back, sit down and then get going and start talking about the next one, that is not a, he makes it look easy, but it was, whatever, I don't know. You know, it's always cool when you see something like a million fucking times on TV, then you actually go to it and you're like, you can't believe you're there. So I don't know, I kind of liked all the decisions except for one, I thought that baby shark,

I thought she won that fight. And I was looking at the other fight, I'm like she's got a big bruise under her eye and she's their nose is all messed up. And the other one looked like other than her braid was a little fucked up. That's like, that was a split decision or whatever. Other than that, I thought everything was cool.

So anyway, thanks to Dana and everybody at the UFC for hookin' us up, we had a fucking, we had a great time and I went there with the Verses, you know, in club soda, Ketty and, you know, was Paul's birthday. I forgot that. We did that beforehand. Then we like, do we smoke a cigar before we get him? I don't know.

Let's get over there and get to the fucking fights. It was really, really cool. So whatever. All I'm doing is just telling him what I did this fucking week. I'm not even talking to fucking try and make you laugh at some point, right? I guess I did a little bit, the fucking bro hugging. I did enjoy all that bro hugging and stuff because like, you know, they always talk,

oh, I can't live out in, I can't live out in fucking LA, man. It's just too fucking phony. I gotta be honest with you, dude. I haven't seen phonyness at that level, those in-between fucking fight schmuzin. The fucking schmuzin that's going on is on at like a Hollywood award show fucking level dude It was like Hey, bro

It was an embarrassment of human behavior rather than that other than that the fucking fights were great and all of all of that All of that shit. It was also kind of cool to be come back to the garden like the very next night episode doing a show there and look at him around being like this looks totally fucking different totally fucking different and I don't have any pressure I can just fucking sit here and fucking enjoy it and get fucked up but I don't get fucked up anymore so that's the only part that sucked. However, what I did do is, I've had like nine coffees today,

so don't get on me about being all fuckered amped up here. I'm also excited because I haven't seen my kids yet that come home in a second. I fucking hung around Sunday, and we went out to Brooklyn and they wanted to go to that JZ exhibit. I was like one of the last days, went out there, you know, really cool. Anytime you see like a self-made man, you know, telling the story, it's always good. That's like I heard still loans documentaries, fucking amazing, like Schwarzenegger.

I put it into that Schwarzenegger still loan, JZ, all of that. Like, you know, they said we couldn't do it and then we fucking did it. That whole thing. It's just, you know, I'll amped up, like, looking at shit like that. And, um, really cool exhibit, if you get a chance, they had, like, they sort of rebuilt his studio in one place, um, that kind of matched the photos on the wall. I like that. And then there was also a great picture of him in, like, I look like a late he built his studio in one place that kind of matched the photos on the wall. I like that. And then there was also a great picture of him in like, I looked like a late 90s or early 2000 Mercedes.

Like Jay-Z very quietly has really great taste in cars. I saw him one time he had a Porsche that was like silver and it was really clean. It wasn't, it was just, you know, it was like one of the top ones, but like, I'm not a big Porsche guy, but he didn't have all this, hey, look at me, shit on it. It was just a, it was like James Bond sort of done up, man. It was fucking really cool. But anyway, it'll be really fat tits.

So, you know, I got a little bit of break here, so I'm sitting there thinking like, all right, I'm going to go, I'm going to fucking go, I'm going to go to the gym, hit the gym when I get back so I can be a little bad here. So we went to this famous ice cream and candy place on the Lower East Side. We come walking in and I see this in egg cream. I've always wondered about that because it always sound gross to me. Like there was like a fucking raw egg in there or something. I go, I go, what's an egg cream?

The guy's like, you don't know egg cream is, I said, no, I go, let me try one of those. So he goes, most people get like a black and white one. So I said, all right, I don't know. No egg ever went in there. So I don't know what, how it's called an egg cream Who's a couple of shots some syrup and then some milk and then they just stirred it up to like a froth and

I drank it and I got to tell you something matter. It was out of this fucking world So now I'm just like all right I got to try and forget that because that's something that I'm gonna Gonna fuck up and try and recreate out here what you can't do. You know what I mean? It's like this morning I'm at Newark fucking airport, and I got a burrito. I'm on my way to LA, I'm in New Jersey, and I order a burrito. Like what the fuck am I thinking? You know, total heartburn, right? Stupid. And now I'm out here in LA.

I'm all fucked up. I'm out here in LA after I got a burrito in New Jersey. And I'm out here in Los Angeles thinking about an egg cream. Stupid. So I gotta get my fucking head right here. Anyway, let's talk football. What a, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada, bada. The only game I got time to watch was I, unfortunately, you know, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop And of course, you know, they're not gonna shut the game off. It's like fucking 21, nothing, 28 to six

before the half or something, and then just not gonna shut it off because it's in the giants market. So I just sort of had that game on. I watched the highlights of the Patriots game, which was my lock at the week. I did pick the Browns Against the Ravens, but I also

Took Joe burrow I had the Lions I had the Browns. Those are my wins for the week and then I had the Patriots that was my hot stupid and then Joe burrow up against those goddamn Texans. I'm telling you right now. Dude, if you're a gambling person, if you, I'm not gonna say it's a general, if you're a gambling man or gambling woman, the fucking Texans cover. They like low-key fucking cover and they're winning games that they shouldn't be winning. So I'm sure this week everybody's gonna jump on them. So the fucking lines are gonna come down or whatever. Also Celtics next tonight. I'm gonna check that out because I've been just

been trying to watch the Bruins and everybody that's you know is a Celtic fan in my life just keeps telling me you know how fucking amazing the Celtic star or whatever, but Anyway, I'm all over the map here. I Apologize I'm trying to think of anything, you know, I just did a bunch of work I'm trying to think if anything funny happened to me a woman had an epileptic seizure. That's not funny It was in the middle of me doing a bit Talking about rape how about that that funny? Because it wasn't. It wasn't when I was doing it. I was like, yeah, Jesus Christ. I thought it because I just made fun of somebody fat. I was, I thought it was somebody fat in the

crowd. I'm like, is this the fat person from my story in the crowd? Is that why they yelling? I had no idea what the fuck was going on. Anyway, I don't know, probably the funniest shit I saw was the bros around ringside. You know, it's always great when you go to a fight. There's always that local famous guy that dresses with really loud clothes. They had that going on.

It was, yeah, it was definitely fun. And there was a few people that look like, if you see those things, my daughter watches them sometimes. You know those creepy like YouTube families, they all sing together, or they all do do ninja warrior stuff. And it's just so fucking perfect

that you're just sitting there thinking, in 10 years, these kids are gonna tell the true story. You know, I didn't have a childhood. He was the Joe Jackson shit. He was fucking overbearing. Speaking of that, shout out to the fucking Osmond family. Donnie, Marie, and all of them, like, there was never any sort of like overbearing parent it's seen, making them, at least they didn't say anything, because it always seemed like with those families,

you know, where they were like, you know, we're just a family that likes to sing together and they have all these fucking, like, albums come out. Usually about 10, 15 years after then they make the lifetime movie about what really happened and people getting locked into fucking closets and shit with purple crayons or whatnot.

If you wanna see something great, can closets and shit with purple crayons or whatnot. If you wanna see something great, watch the Osmonds with share covering Stevie Wonder's superstition. It's actually, in a lot of ways, the history of this country, where it's like somebody not white did something, then white people do it, and then the person that did it kind of fades away. Initially, I know it wasn't like that.

Everybody knows Steve you wanted to do it, but there's just something funny about that. Very superstitious. It's such a fucking badass song. It actually still not that bad when the osmins and share do it. It still sounds like the music still sounds fucking good. All right, what am I doing here?

Getting into the weeds here. Christ, I'm off the fucking road here. Why does my fucking screen keep shutting off? I'll I know why. I got it on the save. I got it on save mode every two goddamn minutes. I saw a dog I wanted to adopt when I was in New York and he has said the same thing I'm just cute little look like a bull Terry with like pit bull mix or something like that

You know got to take these fucking pit bulls for as much as they try to outlaw them. They're out there fucking, you know. They're out there banging a lot of dogs. Everything seems to be mixed with like a Pitbull. At least when it comes to like a rescue. And the person was walking it and it had like a little sweater on. And it said rescue me.

And I saw a second, oh man, I would fucking rescue a talk. And then Nia immediately said that. She goes, we lived in New York, we own that dog right now. I was like, you felt that too? She goes, yeah, she goes, that's how I am a dog. I just look at him and I know immediately. I was like, yep. I also ran out of underwear as in socks the night I had to go to the UFC. So I googled like closest underwear, right? Siri and they lead me to this fucking place because we stand down a low-resight, ended up down in Soho. You know, those shops that have like you walk in, they have like 10 pieces. It's not like walking into the gap

where they're trying to close half the fucking world. These things just have pieces. People walk out and they have like, you know, one little bag. I was in that part of town. And so I show up to the underwear place, the address, and they're not there anymore. So now I'm down there with like, this is where like all the fucking fashion people are.

So I'm walking in these places, like you sell underwear and socks, they're like, no, no we don't, we only sell outfits, right? And oh my God, the fucking Tourettes that I had, the fucking Tourettes because when I walked in, like I had a really small window too, to be able to get back to the hotel and make it for the dinner and then the ride to the UFC. And I'm fucking, I struck out in the fourth straight place. And I'd be like, do you know any place around here

that sells underwear and socks? They're like, if you go all the way back up to house to the Adidas store, I'm like, fuck, go all the way back up to the house to the Adidas store, like fuck, so I start walking out, and I'm fucking cursing my brains out, walking up the street, and I end up seeing this fucking dog like coming down the street with its owner,

and it has like shoes on. And that actually made me laugh. It's like that dog has shoes and I can't find underwear and socks. Underwear, underwear and socks. So I ended up going into, when I go into polo, I might they'll have that there. So I went in there and I just, I was like, where's your underwear?

They're like right here. I'm like, I'll take those. They need some socks. Yes. They're like, how are just, I was like, where's your underwear? They're like right here, I'm like, I'll take those. You need some socks? Yes. They're like, how are these? I'm like, good. And then I left. And then Neat told me she didn't like the underwear.

She goes, it's too big. I go, no, it isn't. It's a large. It fits. She goes, no. It's too like saggy. Like, oh, I didn't want the grape smuggler once. She goes, eh. She goes, those are more flattering.

I'm like, what would I make it a walk down the street? Like a fucking underwear model? I like the baggy underwear. They're fucking putting my nuts in a vise. Like, why would I want to do that? I don't know. But she gave me shit. So now I'm like, if I have for a second, I was questioning the other way and then I was just like, now fuck that I'm keeping these.

You know, I like Ralph Lauren, poor guy, Jewish guy trying to fucking be the marble man, knowing that he wouldn't be accepted in most states. He still went for it, you know. be accepted in most states. He still went for it. You know? Another self-made man. You ever watch his documentary? That's what I do instead of reading. I just fucking watch documentaries. And what I loved about Ralph Lauren was that he liked like Ferraris and stuff and would take stuff from that and put it into his clothes. Because other than that, that's just about clothes and then on board shitless. But it was a nice one of those overlap ones. You know, you can watch with your wife, right? All right, dude, I'm done babbling here.

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Let's read the fucking, the questions here. Down under. Hey, you bald freckled. Hey, you bald freckled. Nothing else after it. Are you avoiding the Australian sun because of your condition? You know ginger, pale, legs too thin to fight a kangaroo or what? I'm

waiting. Perth is waiting. The sun is waiting. We want another sunburned ginger on our beach. You can never have enough pink balding men. Love your podcast mate, go fuck yourself though. I know, I haven't been there a long time. You know, during the pandemic, I did one of those things that all entertainers thought we're gonna take over where they basically, you know, you go to a place in like the Valley, that's why they

had to went to play someone's house in the Valley, I stood there. And they're like, dude, like 20,000 people are going to fucking order this thing. And that isn't. There's like 400 people just order it. Because like entertainers thought, like, you know, be fucking great is if rather than having to go on tour, you know, I could just do one show for the whole fucking world and then get paid, like you just toured the world and you only had to do one set. That's what people were talking about. And I was sitting there going like that ain't gonna fucking work. That's not gonna, it's not the same thing. It's not the same thing as going there and seeing it.

I could tell you that watching the UFC on TV is fucking amazing. You have your friends over and all of that shit. It's fucking great, but being there was, I can't explain it. It was just fucking, I don't even know why it it was just fucking. I don't even know why it was so much better. Like I actually felt I could see what was gonna happen

in the fight or understand it better than you know, I guess when you watch it at home, you got Joe to break the whole fucking thing down. But just stuff I never noticed. I don't know, it's kind of like the same thing. If you go watch, you go to a football game live, you can actually look at the defense rather than just seeing like the lines in the quarterback,

because they got that angle where, you know, I guess if they're up on the line there showing you the look, you can kind of guess what it is, but I'm not good at that stuff. And I like, you know, look at the different packages or whatever the at that stuff. And I like, you know, looking at the different packages at whatever the fuck they have, and hopefully somebody near you understands the game more

than you, and you can like watch that, or like watch like a matchup or something like that, you know, gives you like the options or whatever. So getting back to that, like, as funny as a comedian's gonna be on TV, it's never gonna be funnier than actually seeing the person live and I feel like music too You know is amazing is all of these musicians are and everything There's just nothing like being there in the energy of the crowd. That's is what sucks about the phones though

You know people on their phones and stuff. So I like those ones where you go there and they make you put your phone away and shit and stuff. So I like those ones where you go there and they make you put your phone away and shit. Because that fucking sphere thing in Vegas, Jesus Christ. Every fucking video was about what was floating on the ceiling. Nothing was about the band. Oh my God, look at that. Dude, what the fuck? holy shit. Just sitting there filming shit. I kinda feel like that's a little too much. You know, if I want to see shit, I'll just take mushrooms. I don't need a sphere. You know what the fucking spend all your money?

Earn the hallucination. You know, do some psychedelics. Alright, sorry. I probably shouldn't say that. Okay. Grandpa doing pull-ups. Dear Billy Biceps, I recently heard what you're doing, that you're doing pull-ups now. I'm back to doing pull-ups. I've done pull-ups my entire adult life until I messed up my shoulders. He said, what? Doing push-ups isn't enough for you anymore? I know. The rotator

cuff. Yada, yada, anyway, get this. You said that you want to be able to do 10 pull-ups at the age of 70. I think you'd manage a little bit more. And here's why. My grandfather did 30. Yeah, but some people, I don't know what it is, they just built gym, norton can do a thousand fucking pull-ups. I'm not one of those people. I got a fucking work for every one of them. My grandfather, like the first time I ever tried to do a fucking pull-up was they used to have this thing, the president's physical fitness test. This is before body shaming, you know?

And you had to be able to do 10 pull-ups. Like when I started to do a pull-up, like, I felt like I was paralyzed. Like I wasn't even born with those muscles. And I somehow, like, willed myself to do three. And I never forgot that. It's just like, I just felt like such, and everybody was watching. I felt like such a fucking pussy. Because I could do, you know, like, 10, 15 pull-ups, but, I mean, chin-ups. But the pull-ups, I couldn't even do them.

So, from that moment on, I've had a chin-up bar, my entire life, I had in my parents' basement, in like two or three different houses, we moved around a lot, and then every apartment I ever had, I had a pull-up bar in the door jam, somewhere in the apartment. Usually the bathroom, because I had like studio. So it's something like I had like I wasn't going to stick it in like the fucking obviously must the door swang out to go inside. Anyway, I'm babbling here. So your grandfather did

30. I bet your grandfather was always good at him. Clean pull-ups, fully extended arms to chin above the bar at age of 90. That's 90. Damn, Prussian discipline. Yeah, and that person never stopped doing them and had like perfect form. That's awesome. I can't even do that many pull-ups in my mid-30s and I'm quite athletic. So he was and is an absolute inspiration for me. For a few months now, I've started training pull-ups and I started out with a maximum of eight. A few weeks in, I already was up to 10 and now doing

between 12 and 14. Yeah, I got up to seven before I left. They weren't good ones though. Depending on the day, if I slept all right, eight and up, et cetera. I only started this because of my grandfather and hope to be able to continue training until I'm old. My grandfather also started out with jujitsu at age, the age of 70. 10 years later, he had his black belt

and kept progressing to third degree D.A.N. triple black belt basically in his early 90s. If that is in an inspiration, I don't know what is. Yeah, that's why he's still living. He has a reason to get up in the morning. Stay disciplined and keep at it. You guys insult me. I always feel the love. It just cracks me up. It's just something funny that you give somebody inspiration and then trash them after. Stay disciplined and keep at it.

And raise your brother and say thank you. It's you ginger cunt. Anyway, other than that, I love your sense of humor. You always bring a smile to my face, even during my dark times. Greetings from the old world and of course, greeting to your, your whaff. Go fat yourself.

All right, that's awesome. All right, well, I'm gonna get back on it, but I'm also like trying not to push myself because I don't want to get re-injured again. Like I could, I can do seven shitty ones or four good ones. So I'm like, let's just go back to doing good ones. I mean, I got four good ones. All right, cashless society. Oh, here we go. Here we go. Here we go.

Into the fucking weeds here. Hey, Bill, fan from Australia here. Have you happened to hear about countries going? I never asked answer that guy. When am I going back to Australia? I don't know, man. My kids have to get older because I got to bring them. I just, there's just something about being that far away. And I don't know, I did do Europe. Europe just, you know, it's in the same fucking hemisphere though. That's like literally like a day ahead, but I fucking love Australia

and I also loved Perth and I went there on Australia day and it was just a bunch of animals and like what look like El Camino's driving around fucking shit face and I'm like this reminds me of Massachusetts. And the most beautiful beaches in the world. You know, I've never been to South America or Africa, but as far as what I've seen, I've never seen more beautiful beaches than in Australia. And I am terrified of the fucking ocean, and I felt compelled to go into the ocean. Thank God it was freezing cold out, so I didn't,

but it was unbelievable. They're just, I think it was in Melbourne, and I was just sat there just staring at it. It was kind of rough seas too, so that was another thing, just seeing the fucking power of it. Anyway, cashless society. Hey, Bill, from Australia here, have you happened to hear about countries going cashless?

I don't remember anyone here voting on the matter. And yet it seems to be happening anyway. Well, that's like AI. Nobody wants that shit. That's that's for the rich people. Well, that's like AI nobody wants that shit. That's that's for the rich people There was recently an outrage with the company that controls Transfers called Optus

That prevented millions of people from completing transactions even though everyone can see how this will cause huge Problems in the future to not allowed people to use cash, experts are saying there is no turning back. Yeah, you don't have a choice in any of this. Everything that you're worried about is going to happen until there's some massive revolution. But then what's going to happen is just another socio-path is going to get into into power. I saw people going nuts the other night for this sociopath, fucking sociopath. And I'm like, this guy is robbing literally everybody in here. You know, it's just, it's just how people are.

They buy you, buy into a fucking ideology. In this country, it's like, I don't know. I think they're all in bed together. I think at the end of the day, when they, when Fox News and CNN, when they shut off, I think they all go out drinking together. I think it's like wrestling. I think it's just a big fucking show. I don't buy any of it.

I think the politicians do the same thing, and then they all fucking go to some giant fucking circle jerk or some shit. I don't know what the fuck they do. Anyways, changes in history have nothing to do with what people want, and they just come out of nowhere. Here's an article from MSN about it.

Well, it wasn't linked. I don't have the link. I don't want to, and I honestly don't even want to read it. They're going to say that the casual society is for convenience. What it really is, is it's an ability, if they want to get you to limit your ability to move and run away. Because they will just freeze everything. They'll freeze your credit cards and now you can't get to any cash and nobody accepts cash or believes in it anymore. You're fucked. So that can get you on an individual level. And more importantly, it dramatically takes away the ability to revolt against an oppressor.

Because you need money to buy your illegal guns and all of that. Because God knows it's going to have to be done in a violent way. But the thing about it is is is the human fucking brain. Okay. With determination, we'll always figure out a way. We'll always figure out a way. I still remember this time this guy was in jail and he was building a fucking hang glider out of dental floss and bed sheets and all that. Now, I'm not saying it didn't work, but like he had the fucking time and he was, you know, I mean, when you look at dental floss, what do you see?

I see dental floss. I don't see something too Thai, to PCP pipe, whatever the fuck he had in bed sheets and that this could potentially help me fly. But when the need is created, so I just don't think that they're gonna be able to, they're not gonna be able to stop us. The big fucking thing is if they keep us

pitted against one another, which is why I try to stay out of like, you know, all of that politics shit, all of that crap, this 24 hour news networks, I stay out of that shit and I try to act as an individual and I try to act, just try to be nice to people. You know, and try to help people out if you can. I think if you just do in that, um,

I don't know. That's, that's what I'm hanging on to because everything else gets too big and gets too fucking, um, overwhelming. Like, what is amazing is, I think the hardest fucking human emotion is empathy. And, and it's funny. We'll just, let's just, let's just act like there really is only two ways to look at things. Conservative and, and liberal. What's funny, K, the conservatives stereotypically speaking, do not have empathy for anything. They think they do, but they don't, right? And then you got liberals who think that they're empathetic, but they actually, you know, they're too busy congratulating themselves. Like, what does that douchey thing now? I'm an empath.

I'm an empath. And they literally make like having empathy, like this thing that you're now supposed to help them with. Like, oh my God, there must be so hard. God, you care so much. Like, what in the fuck is that? I'm an empath. That's right up there when they said Donald Trump, you don't see that humble and then he just went like, actually, I'm one of the greatest, you know, I'm the one of the most humbles people you're

ever going to meet. I don't think you can even comprehend how humble I am. And you're sitting there looking like, dude, you're doing a bit, right? And he's dead fucking serious liberals with that. I'm an empath, you know, like things like that are hard for me because I'm an empath. You're not an empath. You're completely self-involved. You're totally self-involved. You're so fucking self-involved.

You're actually using one of the most beautiful emotions a human being can have Empathy and you're turning it in into this this fucking self-congratulatory thing. Oh Here's some fucking dating advice for you All right, if you meet somebody and They describe themselves as a fucking empath run out of the room. Just get out of the fucking room. That is a totally self-involved fucking cunt that is never going to admit when they're wrong. All right.

Oh, God, I hate everybody. All right, let's up one four. Let's see if I can still name all the tracks starts with black dog Then it's rock and roll Then it's going to California Then it's Stairway to heaven Then is it misty mountain hop? Then four sticks. Then something else and then

when the levy breaks I can't remember. I don't fucking know shit anymore, right? Dear Billy music brain, 58-year-old fat fuck from Germany here. How's it going? Guten Tag. I recently read a story about Led Zeppelin that might interest you. A lot of people predicted professional suicide for Led Zeppelin with the decision that also set alarm bells ringing at their record company, Atlantic Records in 1971. The new album was not to have a title and Led Zeppelin's name was not to appear on the cover. Instead, there was a strange picture of an old man carrying a load of hazelnut rods.

The band wanted to prove to journalists who had strongly criticized the previous album that their records sold even without a reference to the authors and they were right. Oh yeah, they used to get a ton of shit from critics. Hey, guess who else gets a ton of shit? I always do. They always fucking trash me. You know, critics trash. Well, the big publications like the old Dead's, but we got a lot of sh- I always do, they always fuckin' trash me. Um, you know, critics trash, well, the big publications liked old dads, but we got a lot

of shit from people. And- but then the people liked it. You know what's funny is the amount of people that can't even remember the name of the movie Old Dads? I was in, uh, Hollywood, Florida. There's elderly couple go to take a picture with me. And the woman goes, she goes, I loved your movie, Old Guys.

That's it. That's it. When I was in Brooklyn, somebody said, I love your movie, Bad Dads. Someone else called it, Old People. And I just fucking, and then like, Nia's always there. So Nia is just cracking up laughing

and teasing the shit out of me. And I'm like, I don't give a fuck, you know? I get why they can't remember it. There's like, they're like scrolling through Netflix. All of those fucking movies. It's like, you know, you hit the jackpot if they select your thing there. So anyway, so they got a ton of

shit and they were right let's up and for as the album is on let's up and for as the album is unofficially called because it is the band's fourth record even became their most successful release selling 37 million units said cover of the classic album has become an icon of rock music and as a huge fan of Led Zeppin of course you know it. A lecturer at the University of West England has now managed to unravel the mystery of the egnigmatic, enigmatic image while preparing an exhibition for the Wiltshire Museum. Oh, dude, this is like right up my alley. Musical trivia.

I love this shit. He found the original picture by chance is in an album that presented around a hundred early photographs, mostly houses, street scenes, and some portraits of farm workers. He investigated further and discovered that the man was most likely the rougher, lot long, or a lot long year, who lived in the village of Meir from 1823 to 1893.

Next year, an exhibition at the Wiltshire Museum will commemorate those times. The photo that ended up on the Led Zeppin cover will also be on display. Oh man, I got to see that. Perhaps you'll be performing in England again in the future and fancy a trip to the southwest of England to see a bit of rock history. I would 100% do that. There are beautiful cities like Bath or Bristol impressive landscapes and last but not least Stonehenge, which is only a few miles away from Wiltshire Museum. Plus, the people have an incredibly nice, they're incredibly nice. I have experienced this myself time and time again during numerous visits. Of course, I don't know if the coffee

there meets your standards. I don't give a shit because England is obviously tea territory. Well hey, you know, I would definitely drink the fucking tea then. Keep up the great work, all the best to you and your family and go fuck yourself. I also really like an English breakfast. Bangers and mash, whatever the fuck they call them. A little sausages and the eggs. I like that, I like it German breakfast. Well, they have the hard boiled egg in that thing

like it's a fucking trophy. I actually, you know, it's, I'm trying to think of all the different breakfasts I've had going throughout the world. Everybody has a weird take on it. I mean, obviously partial to the American breakfast, which is just all about shavon as much fucking shit down your throat as you possibly can. You know, the Grand Slam breakfast. Who would have a problem with that? I mean, the Grand Slam breakfast. I mean, around the world.

Okay, we're talking two eggs, however you want them. Two sausage, two bacon, and a short stack of pancakes, you know, glass of orange juice and some water. That's the classic, Grand Slam fucking breakfast. All right, not saying that we, like, in this thing, nobody does that at home. That's not me, you go out, you go out to Denny's or the international house of pancakes or a fucking greasy spoon or some shit you do that. I mean, you never do that at home. You know what I mean? It's too much fucking work.

You get the batter going, then I got to get the eggs going. And as I'm thinking this, I'm like, I'm going to fucking do this. I'm going to make a grand slam break. So I'm going to do it one of these days. What do you say? What's what's a good, is there international house of Pancake Day? Will you just go out, who does the grand slam? Is it Denys? I always like I hopped better than Denys.

And it's just the colors. I just like blue. And that blue roof was peaceful to me. And for some reason, I thought that there's sticky tables who are cut above Denys. I would say the I hopped is a little sweeter. And for some reason I thought that there's sticky tables who are cut above denys, you know? I would say the eye hop is a little sweeter and I would say denys is a little more savory. I just felt He's a lot more salt Coming from denys side, but might that might just be like psychological because of the colors

You know But anyway, I Don't know what to do with myself now. I got one more fucking gig and I'm gonna go to that F1 race. It's gonna be fantastic. I also have a movie coming out that I did a voice-on called Leo that stars the one and only Adam Sandler. So that's gonna be coming out.

I know there's a premiere this weekend that we're doing. So I'm gonna get, I gotta promote that. The strike is oh, it feels weird. I feel weird talking about projects. So can I talk about old dads? If you guys have any questions now about old dads, about where we shot things, about making it and all that, because I can tell you that is the most work I've ever done in my life.

And it's another thing too. People keep saying he wrote it, directed it, I co-wrote it. I co-wrote it with Ben Tishler. All right, and Ben Tishler is the reason why that movie got fucking made because it never would have got written without him because I told him the idea that I had.

It just came off for like one day, like I was, I was dropping my daughter off at school or something like that and they got on the jungle gym. I was like, oh, you on the jungle gym? And she's like, dad, it's called the structure. It was just every single thing I said was like wrong. And then I had to's like, Dad, it's called Destructure. It was just every single thing I said was like wrong. And then I had to think like, I have not been in fucking preschool in 50 years.

Like all of this shit has changed. And it just gave me like this little bit of an idea and I just mentioned it to Ben. And he was like, dude, we should write that. And he just kept showing up every day to write it. So I mean, I didn't have the discipline to do it. I've had a bunch of ideas for movies and stuff. And I've just never done them. And I finally understood that I needed somebody with the discipline to do it.

And I've been working with Ben. I've been working with Ben since like 2005, 2006. I forget how we came together, but we somehow, the NFL wanted some sort of, when it's some sort of like funny commercial to promote the league. And through that, I got hired, I think in an audition and then they hired Ben to direct it. And then we got to know each other and then that was it.

And of course, what we did, we thought was hilarious. And they were like, no, no, no, no, you're making fun of the fans. We had two fucking funny ideas. The first one was, I get why they didn't use it. Like, we were kind of making fun of, you know, like, we went to a Raiders game. This is when they were playing in Oakland.

And we went there and we would go up to the people that were all dressed crazy. And we would ask them about going to the Raiders game. They'd be all fucking amped up and everything. And then gradually I would start asking questions about like, you know, politics and global warming. And then they would just totally change their tone. And then they had this ridiculous outfit on and they, you know, going, you know, dressed like Darth Vader or something and just being like, you know, well, I mean, I think that's more of a federal issue. And then they would just be talking about that. And then the final question was, are you currently in a relationship?

So they were like, that one's two means. So we, so that one struck out. And then years later, I was at this sports bar big wangs on Coanga. It doesn't exist anymore. I don't think I think it moved to downtown LA. And the Patriots were playing the Ravens. And there was this Ravens fan that was so fucking obnoxious. I wanted to fucking kill him. And it was that playoff game

where they're first run from Scrimmage where they just won. And this guy was going like, ah, like yelling in our faces and stuff. This day, I don't know why he wasn't thrown out of the bar, but like, he was bigger than me and could kick the shit out of me. And he was upsetting me so much. I was thinking like, yeah, but I'd get that first one in.

Then I just turtle. And he'd probably get, you know, two punches and a couple kicks and then the bounces would break it up. And maybe to be worth it or whatever. And I just thought, it's like, Bill, it's not worth it. Okay, I was fucking, I was in my 40s. But this guy made me so fucking mad. And my team lost.

And he was a mouth breathbreathing fucking moron that I was like, I have to get something out of this. So then we wrote an ad campaign for Direct TV, the NFL package. And basically what it was was how to fuck that a go. It was a guy sitting in a sports bar trying to watch his team play. This is like, you know, 10 years ago. So I know everybody can now watch the game on your phone. You couldn't do this back then. So basically the, the, the, the bit was, you know, I was going to dress like, you know, fucking nerd, right? Glasses and all of this shit. And I was just sitting there trying to watch my team. And everyone's just screaming, yelling all day, you know, screaming and spilling drinks on you.

And you can't see it, you can't hear it. And I'm just getting pushed around the room and all of that spun around, you know, a lot of side gags. And then in the end, it was going to be, you know, I just looked totally frazzled like I'm not having a good time. And then the end of the commercial, I'm sitting at home with direct TV. And I just turn on the game and I'm just sitting there totally relaxed. And it said,

the NFL package on direct TV. And then you just, like the guy was yelling in my face, drives by in the car with his head out the window like Ace Ventura on his way to the sports bar. Just goes, booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo the NFL package. Yeah! And then it pays for itself. Something like that. And it was him being at home.

You get the point. So anyway, we've been doing shit like that forever. I think we ended up doing something for the NHL. I can't remember. I just remember shooting these things with like Billy Gardell before he was on Mike and Molly. Just a long fucking time. Anyway, it's the point is I've known Ben forever, Ben Tishler. And so when people say I wrote the thing, say that I co-wrote it.

So anyway, if you guys do have any questions, I'm so fucking excited that I can finally fucking talk about it and all the great actors that were in it and all the people that helped me with it because I had a ton of fucking help. But I do want to take the time to say thank you to all you guys. The movie was number one, the number one movie streamed on Netflix globally for two weekends in a row. The third week it was still in the top The third week, it was still in the top five and the fourth week was still in the top 10.

So it's been a huge, huge hit. And if you guys didn't watch it, it wouldn't be. So thank you very much. I really appreciate it. All right, so that's it. That is the Monday Morning Podcast. Go fuck yourselves and thank you. Thank you to everybody that came out to my shows. I had such a great time at such a great time at MSG, you know, doing my show. Thank you

to Dana White, hookin' us up with the tickets. My wife and I have always wanted to go to one of those things. It was fantastic. And thank you to that person that made me that egg cream, whatever the fuck you call it, I am absolutely sold on that. And that's something that I will only get in New York City at that place. I got something else, some old, other old man thing to do here. All right, that's it. Enjoy your weekend. No, I'll check in on your in Thursday. That's what I'm supposed to say. All right.