Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 11-14-22

Episode Date: November 14, 2022

Bill rambles about the legendary Gallagher, prevent defense, and 'amino sweets'. Fight Camp: Get started with FightCamp for as low as $9 a month at www.FightCamp.com/BURR Butcher Box:  Get two, 10 oz ribeyes free in every box for a whole year when you join. Plus an additional $10 off.  www.butcherbox.com/BURR Roman:  Use this link to get 20% off your first order at www.ro.co/BURR   

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Information and information on bmw.be Podcast for Monday, November 14th, 2022. What's going on? How are you? It's Sunday night in my house. I just put both my kids to bed. My wife is out of town, so I'm running the fucking show. Alright, I'm making the calls. I decide who's gonna have fucking granola,

or if they're eating pancakes, or if they're the healthy pancakes or the fucking other ones. I'm making all the calls. Still fucking getting over being sick or whatever. I fucking hate being sick. There's always that douche who says that. I'm sick. I fucking hate being sick. Oh yeah, everybody does.

What are you thinking? Some people enjoy it. I'll actually tell you, there is an aspect of being sick that I like. It's called clearing your schedule. I should fucking save. I should record myself right now. Here's what you do. Here's what you do. Yeah, when you're in this mode, record yourself going, yeah, hey, it's me.

I'm fucking sick, man. I can't make it in. That cough I just did would have been great. You can steal that cough if you want to make it yours. Can't make it in today, blah, blah, blah. You just save them for when you want to fake sick and just clear your fucking schedule. So I got to be honest with you. If I wasn't sick, laying in bed for like three days was kind of fucking awesome.

You know, and just being like, I don't know, like, gee, I'd love to pitch in and be a viable member of this fucking family, but I'm not feeling well. My wife was all just like, you need to stay in bed and you need to drink liquids, right? And she's like, here, drink this. And she kept coming with medicine. I'm like, what is that?

What are you? What are you fucking, Dr. Joyce Brothers over there? Like, when did you get a medical degree? She came up with all this shit and she gave it to me and she was like accusing me of not drinking it, pretending to drink it like I was in one flu over the cuckoo's nest. And I was like, I drank it. It's gross, you know, tastes like medicine. So anyway, I'm going to do as long as I can on this podcast, all right? I'm just going to do the best I can, all right?

And then expect full credit, you know? Sorry, I'm trying to relate to what I see out there. Sorry. Anyway, where should we start? Let's start at the beginning here. Sad, sad news, legendary stand-up comedian Gallagher passed away on Friday, I believe, November 11th, man, Jesus Christ, and deserved way more of a send-off than he got, you know?

That fucking guy was so huge to so many comedians of my generation. So he was like so ridiculously prolific. The guy had like an HBO special every year for like a decade. And he was a fascinating comedian in that. He existed somewhere between George Carlin and Carrot Top. He kind of ran this whole gamut, both of whom I find hilarious for different reasons. Like, I never gave into that.

You know, maybe early on in my stand-up career when I was insecure and I would listen to other comedians talk about what real stand-up comedy was. That guy's a guitar, that guy just does impressions. This person, you know, does too much crowd work. This person has props, you know? I just find it was just like, all right. That's the person, they move around too much. Like, it got so fucking snobby when I started that.

Like, if you fucking move too much, it was all, he just goes up there, he just stands there. I keep saying he because it was mostly guys doing it. You know, it was like, you know, women before World War II, like none of them had fucking jobs as far as, I don't know, maybe a documentary I kind of saw, I don't know. It was mostly guys. So like the guys that got the most respect were the guys that could go on fucking stage, like walk up to the microphone.

He doesn't even take the microphone out of the fucking stand, man. And they would just stand there. And just what they wrote, they would recite and they could kill. Which admittedly was amazing. But what I loved about Gallagher was he had all of these, you know, he was a fascinating guy, he had all of this really deep shit that he was talking about. But then he had all this silly stuff, like coming out on a giant bicycle or sitting on that big couch. And of course in the end, smashing the watermelon.

So when I was a kid, I didn't really get that bit. I just thought it was funny that this guy had a giant hammer, was smashing all this shit that was going into the crowd. I didn't get that he was making fun of advertising. And was sort of commenting on these stupid commercials that were selling you something completely fucking useless that you didn't even need. And that was not going to make your life more simple. And he was sort of making fun of that by just coming up with the stupidest thing ever, the Sledge-O-Matic.

Which basically smashed everything, right? But then he had all of these incredible bits. Like he had this one bit where he was talking about the English language. And he sat down at a school desk. I remember that. And he started off, whatever word he started with, led to another word, which led to another word and led to another word. And he did this whole long bit and it went all the way back to the word that he started with.

And I just remembered like, you know, he was talking about the pronunciation of stuff. And H-E-A-R-D, heard. And then he pointed to his face. He's like, is this a bird? No, beard. Okay, beard. B-E-A-R-D. And then he would connect it that way.

And he sat at a school desk and he went all the way around in a circle. It was a really fucking smart bit. And, you know, he had themes to him. I had one, you know, when he was addressing the fact that as we were losing all the manufacturing in this country, he had this whole thing like, what did you do to, you know, beat Japan or China today? Which nowadays would be considered, you know, you couldn't say shit like that. But like, you know, it was different back then. It was like teams.

You could just, you know, I'm actually saw like around that same era, you know, when Tom was sort of great Tom was sort of was managing the Dodgers. They went down to San Diego and it was ever starting pitching that they beamed one of the San Diego Padres. So some guy in the Padres mouthed off. He goes, I think that guy was went out there and he was told to do it. And I think it goes back to that fat Italian. He said that about Tom was sort of that fat Italian in the newspapers. You could never do that today. So to put it in his, you know, in perspective, like that's the way he was doing shit, right?

Anyway, and I know he got a little nuts in the end or whatever. But like that period in the 80s and the comedy that that guy did and the specials that he put out and the thought behind all of it. I just, I fucking, I just, I couldn't wait. I couldn't wait to watch him. I fucking loved every single one of them. And, and I remember as I was coming up, you know, I would play a club and Gallagher had been there the week before. And there'd be, you know, still stuff in the ceiling and shit like that. And I always thought I was going to meet him.

I never met the guy bummed out about that. But I do want to say, you know, thank you to him for all of those great specials. And I don't know. He just just amazing body of work that he did. And I felt he deserved more of a send off than he got. All right. So with that, I don't know if my Bruins one today, I watched the first period of my kids were screaming at me. My son wanted to watch.

He's like garbage truck, garbage truck. Da, da, garbage truck. And he was funny as the video that I watch has like this fucking garage band, like sort of speed metal, like, you know, late 80s, early 90s. It goes like, it goes, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. And my son starts like when he comes on, he starts like banging his head to it. And it's really kind of the perfect music, you know, playing metal music as his big metal truck comes up the street. Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. So we were watching that shit.

And then my daughter likes watching fucking Super Mario where they're like, you're watching. I don't know who's playing the video game. I don't understand what's going on. But she sits there rooting for Super Mario and I root for Luigi. So I basically, I saw the first period where I want to say, was it two to one? Yeah, it was two to one. Like Vancouver got the first one, but I watched the whole Buffalo game. And Jesus Christ, I mean, it looked like a friendly. Both Buffalo and the Bruins came out and I don't think I saw a check for the first two fucking periods.

They were just skating around. And I'm like, of course, I finally have time to watch it. They had like 12 and two or whatever or 11 and two or something. I'm finally going to get a chance to watch the whole game. Hang with my father-in-law. He's in town, so we wanted to watch the game. And I got to watch. They're going to fucking lose it. So it was one to nothing towards the end of the second period. I said to my father-in-law, I said, whoever scores next is going to win this game.

This is one of these games. Buffalo scores next. The Bruins are just going to stay asleep this whole fucking game. If a Bruin score next, they're going to fucking wake up and they're going to put these guys to bed. And that's what happened. Bergeron scored and then they went into third period, carried the thing, carried the momentum. But what kept us in the game was this kid, Keith Kincaid, which I think is a third string goalie. Keith Rubin Kincaid stood on his fucking head for three periods. Incredible goddamn saves. We ended up winning three to one.

I don't know, dude, we're moving along here. We're crushing it. It's only November. So, you know, just hoping we stay healthy. I don't know how you keep this pace up, but it's been fucking awesome to be reading about, hearing about, and actually sitting down watching a little bit. But here's where I start to bitch. I'll bitch quietly. The kids are asleep down the hall here.

Once again, guys, let's talk the prevent defense. One of the wildest football games I've seen in a long time. All right, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers versus Seattle Seahawks. The Bills versus the Vikings. The Bills versus the Vikings. Okay, so I'm watching the Bills game. And, you know, Vikings score first, go up seven to nothing, and then it was just all Bills. Right up until the half.

Okay, and there was just something about in the third fucking quarter. Because I picked the Bills to win it all. And I was saying, like, you know, I don't know what it is about Buffalo, man. They just, they seem beatable. It doesn't make any sense, but they do. They got all, they got major fucking talent at all the fucking, you know, sexy positions, right? The ones that, you know, get all the fucking looks on SportsCenter, but there's something about them in November. They just still feel a little loose.

I don't know what it is. And they're fucking letting the goddamn Vikings hang around. And they're doing dumb shit, like going for it on fourth and goal in like the third quarter and shit. It's like kick the fucking field goal. Take the points. Take the fucking points. You're letting these guys fucking hang around. They never talk about that shit.

And I don't get these coaches. They got all the fucking balls in the world for the first fucking 58 minutes of the game going forward on fourth and down fourth and fucking whatever in the first fucking quarter. Then the end of the game, they fucking, I don't know what they get neutered. Sorry, I'm going to lose my fucking voice on this one. So basically what happens is the Vikings are down. What the hell was 2723. They're all the way down on the fucking one yard line. They go for it on fourth down.

They don't get it. The penalty off sides. The guy almost timed the snap perfectly on the bills. He got a great jump just a half a second too early. So then they fucking they get another one. So it's like, okay, obviously now they're going to fucking score. They hand it off and they don't score and the bills fucking stop them. And they're unlike this, the fucking half yard line.

So Josh Allen can't take a knee. I guess he could have ran out the back of the end zone, you know, and taken the safety, but then they're just going to play the prevent. They're just going to come right down the fucking then it would have been 2725. Yeah. And there's way too much time left in the game. Why? Because people go into a fucking prevent defense.

So anyway, so they hike the ball and Josh Allen's just going to do like basically the quarterback sneak get himself enough fucking room where he can just down the thing and the game's going to be over. They have a fumbled snap. It's literally like the miracle in the meadowlands, except they didn't have to run it. They just land on the fucking ball and the Vikings get a fucking touchdown. There's stunned in Buffalo.

All right. That makes it 30 to 27. Okay. And in defense of people who say go forward and fourth down, the Vikings on their last touchdown on the extra point, the guy fucking did miss it. That does happen. Okay. But it happens way fucking less.

You make way more field goals than you make on fourth down going forward. I feel. So anyway, like people aren't like pissed if you don't make it in fourth and goal. You miss a field goal and extra point. They're like, what the fuck? You're supposed to man. That's the level of percentage. I feel.

So anyway, so the Vikings score this like 50 seconds left, 52 seconds left. All right. And for whatever fucking reason, the Vikings go into this prevent defense like I've never seen the second they like 15 yards off the fucking line of scrimmage. They hiked the ball to Josh Allen immediately. Everybody on defense that isn't rushing disappears out the right side of my fucking television. Josh Allen throws one to the right side. I'm just by memory here.

Okay. They get 12 yards and the guy gets out of bounds. It took five seconds. Now, considering it's all about analytics, by the way, they started on like the 25 yard line or some shit like that. So now they're all the way up to like the fucking 37 or something. They just got five yards and got out of bounds. You gave him a free fucking time out.

All right. I did that in five seconds. So now there's like 47 seconds left. And if it's all about math, okay, if they're going to get 12 yards every five seconds and there's 50 seconds left to start the fucking thing in four plays, these guys are going to go 48 fucking yards and they're down by three points. They continue to play this fucking thing. And can you believe it?

Josh Allen, he throws like four or five completions in a row to the point the fucking ball in less than half a fucking minute is down on their goddamn 25. They got down there so fucking fast. They actually had a shot. They could, they could waste one play to the end zone to possibly win the fucking game. You play to win the games, right? It doesn't work out. And then it's a fucking chip shot.

And now they go into overtime. All right. Vikings ended up going in, kicking a field goal. Bills came down. They go to kick a field goal. I think the, my, my, my feet out here switched over to the Rams game so I couldn't see it. Fucking assholes. So Bills, I think, missed the field goal or something like that.

But my point is why didn't you just play defense? Is my question in that situation, they act like the entire game when they're playing defense, every other drive, some wide receiver gets behind their safety and catches a 70-yard bomb. That doesn't even happen every game. I mean, it happens, but it doesn't happen every fucking game. So I don't, somebody, I keep asking this question. You can't tell me there's not a football coach out there listening to this fucking thing.

What is like, I thought the initial thing on the prevent defense was you gave up the middle of the field. You kept them in bounds and you just ate up the clock. Now they don't even do that. They just give them 20 yards and let them run out of bounds. So it's like, we're going to give you 12 yards every five seconds and a free time out. I don't know. I'm going to start calling it the make a wish defense, you know, because that's what it looks like. You know, you ever see like one of those poor kids is sick or something like that.

And they let them play with the professional players. They run around. They act like, oh, we can't tackle you or whatever to make somebody's dream come true. That big heartwarming moment. Yeah, they actually do that in games too. I guess to keep the other head coach from losing his fucking job. I don't know. Can somebody please explain like I'm just, you know, I know I go on shit and then I won't shut up about it.

But this is my latest thing. Okay. I'm over the Astros. Congratulations. You finally won a World Series without cheating your fucking asses off to the point you lost 10 draft picks. Your piece is a shit. All right. And for whatever fucking reason, it's still going to be, they have two World Series championships.

So I'm past that. My leg just is like a gambler to just be watching that. I actually, I'm doing all right so far. I'm two in one this week because now I'm starting to factor in the prevent defense. And if I think the other team even remotely has a chance at keeping it close, usually a division rivalry, I just factor in the fucking the prevent defense. And I just don't know how Vegas can be that good that they can figure out whether it's going to be a field goal or a touchdown. I just smell a fucking rat in this whole thing. Like it does.

None of it makes fucking sense. All right. Or maybe it's what it usually is, is I'm oversimplifying this situation. But it just seems to me that when you go into the prevent defense, you're not playing defense. The whole purpose of defense is to fucking prevent the other team from scoring. And the second you go into a prevent defense, you're conceding points. I mean, how many times you got to fucking see that shit? Sorry.

Hang on a second. Like if the other team is up by seven points and there's like a minute left, you automatically know the other team is going to go into a prevent defense. And the team with the ball is going to go down the field in five plays and then they're going to have four shots at the end zone. They just concede that. They fucking concede that and they don't play defense until they start going for the end zone. And then all of a sudden the game gets hard again. The whole time they were going down the field when you could have made it fucking hard. You know, they don't.

I just don't fuck. Okay, but we get it. You don't get it. All right, cool. All right, fine. So anyway, I made it through my 10 days of detox, you know, first 10 days of the month. I don't fucking shit now every month. The first 10 days, I don't fucking do anything.

All right, no soda, no cigars, no weed and no coffee. I was able to do everything except the coffee. Coffee is definitely in my life, but I only have one cup a day. That's a lie. I had fucking two yesterday, but I, you know, I'm doing the best I can here. So now it's the rest of the month. And now I can kind of do, you know, lazily go back in if I decide to, but then like I'm sitting there going like, well, why don't I keep going?

You know, and then all of a sudden it'll be December 1st, then I got to shut it off again and then I'll have like a little streak going here. So as far as all of my addictions, you know. Soda's done. Cigars are done. I don't have any desire to fucking smoke one, which is great because I'm an old dad and I got kids. So I really need to look out for that shit.

I went off my diet though because I got fucking sick this week and I started, you know, my wife was fucking away and I was just like, you know, you ever just rediscover something in your kitchen when you're sick? Like, oh, we got a fucking panini press, don't we? I don't feel good. I'm going to make a grilled cheese sandwich, right? Fucking cranked one of those bad boys out, right? Can't have a grilled cheese sandwich without something salty and crunchy, right?

So I did that and then that just sent me off the rails because I was eating fucking veggie. I was doing great. Land, not land, like healthy shit. So whatever. I had a bad fucking week today. I made like a turkey fucking sandwich that I was like, wow, you know, let's go. Let's fucking kick it up a notch. I broke out the panini, but for the most part I ate like vegetarian.

I went a little bit for a walk today, but I was doing so fucking well, man, but I'll get it back. Whatever. I'll fucking get it back. All right, let me do some of the reads here for this weekend. I'm going to fucking hang with this podcast for as long as I can, but I'm not going to lie to you, my fucking voice is tired. I got to do some golf thing tomorrow too.

Fucking agreed. You want to do something fucking funny? So we put together this fucking charity thing where you could like, you know, bid money to golf with a comedian or some shit. So whatever fucking reason they put me out there because I don't even golf as you guys know, right? So me and a buddy of mine are going to golf with these two people. I don't even know who they are.

And I really don't want to fucking go just because I'm sick, you know, but what's cool is, is if I wasn't sick, there's no fucking way I'm going to go out there and play that boring ass fucking game without smoking a giant cigar. I mean, that's just what the fuck I was going to do. All right. I'm out there for the cigar, you know, and, and I get the tunes going. I got a little Bose fucking speaker thing. I put it in the golf cart.

You know, we listened to fucking songs the whole time. I got my fucking root beer. I got my cigar. Oh, is it my turn to hit? What did I get in that hole? I don't know. Let's say a nine fucking gives a shit with you. I'm stupid ass game.

So I got to do that shit tomorrow. So hopefully after a good night's sleep, I'll fucking feel all right because I don't want to be like, I've never done one of these things, but it's weird. It's like we're playing 18 holes. So I kind of got to be like on for 18 holes. It's like a fucking Dave Chappelle set, you know, Dave, Dave can do stand up for like three hours, which by the way, how great was he on SNL? I can't do stand up for three hours, but now I'm fucking golfing.

So now I have to channel Dave Chappelle. I should have asked him for some fucking pointers. So I got to do that. No, I'm fucking with you. It's going to be a great time. I'm just being a bitch because I'm fucking sick. I'll get out there. It'll be fine.

And we'll move on from there. All right. Oh, here's something else. Here's something else that I was going to talk to you about. I'm not going to say any shows here because I know how hard people work on shows when they write and work and all of that type of shit. All right. So I'm not going to name the shows, but like my wife always gets into these shows, these

series, right? And she's like, why don't you watch this series with me? And I try to watch them. And I'm just finding more and more that these dramatic series, like you watch like three episodes and you're like, okay, like, who am I supposed to be rooting for here? Like this kind, there's nobody, nobody's like the hero anymore. It's just 15 to 20 people that are just pieces of shit. Like everybody's a piece of shit.

So then it's like, well, what am I supposed to get emotionally invested that this piece of shit did a piece of shit thing to this piece of shit? Who did that piece of shit thing to that other piece of shit? And it's kind of like a thing that happens is my wife hangs in there and I just after three episodes, I'll just be like, I don't give a fuck about anybody in this series. They're all just fucking horrible people. So anyway, she's on the road, right? Not on the road.

She's out on a wedding, right? She's doing some gigs. Oh God, that would be great. She started doing the gigs and I got to stay home and be fucking fantastic. Drop the kids off at school and take a cooking class. I'll do that. I'll be the stay at home mom fucking taking a Pilates class. And I'd enjoy it for three months and then I'd fucking resent her because she gets to

go out in the world. And I do that. My wife doesn't do that shit, but that's a big thing a lot of women do. They want to marry a guy that makes enough money that if they don't want to fucking work, they don't have to. I mean, the fucking balls are that. Can you imagine that? Like just every day you have a day off and you're living in a fucking house and somebody

else's at work paying for it. I mean, that's just fucking amazing. I don't know if they said it or not. I don't know if they fucking, and then like what ends up happening, you know, I've seen this happen is the woman, she ends up getting bored. I didn't know my identity is anymore. Yeah, you do. You're that chick who fucking sits around the house all the time.

You know, you tried a couple of hobbies and now you're fucking bored. And then they end up getting mad at the guy who's out there fucking working his way to an early grave. You can't win. That was all vague. There was no names involved. For all you guys know, I just made up that scenario and said it's a common thing that happens in relationships.

No, I think it happens with like, you know, maybe it's these fucking shows my wife is watching, but it just always seems like there's the rich guy and he's fucking working his ass off. And then the wife's at home, totally taken care of, but she's bored and needs some excitement. So then she either tries to kill the guy or she starts fucking somebody else or both. You know, wait a minute, is my wife plotting something? I'm kidding.

I miss when she's on this podcast because she would have rolled with that and talked about how she's confronted fucking. Anyway, all right. Let me, let me read some of the advertising. Oh, here we go. Fight camp. Hey, man. Are you looking for one of the most exhilarating and effective forms of home fitness?

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This is people writing it. Sorry. Oh, my God. My fucking head's killing me here. All right. Amino Sweets. Dear Bill, to aid in your years long quest to casually bring awareness to the problems with the food industry, I wanted to give you an update. Oh, this is pretty amazing.

As part to me, A-S-P-A-R-T-A-M-E, the artificial sweetener that is linked to numerous health problems, has been officially renamed. Oh, my God. I can't wait for CNN and Fox to blow the lid off of this one, huh? It's never going to happen. Anyway, it's been officially renamed, and the fine folks at the FDA continue to have our backs by letting them do so. Yeah, the FDA evidently was infiltrated by people in these food and drug businesses a long time ago. They just get their own guys in there and they just approve shit. That's what I heard.

Anyway, the artificial sweetener is now listed as Amino Sweets. So this guy is saying to avoid this shit. I'm not sure how many documentaries they need to make about this before people stop thinking diet soda isn't making you fat. Yeah, I stay with that shit. Fat-free ice cream, diet soda. It's like, when we have a soda, I get the original. I know it's still shit for you, but like, I don't want the one that's trying to be, like, actually healthy, you know? I don't know what the fuck I'm saying.

Don't listen to me. All right, blue versus red, or maybe neither. Bill, on Monday you were talking about the recent U.S. presidential results and asked whether a bunch of red people thought Trump had it in the bag and didn't show up or did a bunch of blue people show up who didn't in 2016. That's not what I said. I didn't think. I was talking about every midterm election. It seems like if we just voted all blue, we run over to all red, and then if we vote all red, we run over to all blue. And then I was talking about Trump, where how did all of these people that didn't, you know, want him show up and all the people that wanted him didn't show up the second time?

That's what I was saying. So this person said the answer is both. Wait, let me reread what I said. On Monday you were talking about the recent U.S. presidential results and asked whether a bunch of red people thought Trump had it in the bag and didn't show up. I don't think I said they thought he had it in the bag. Who knows? I can't remember what the fuck I said. Or did a bunch of blue people show up who didn't in 2016?

The answer is both. Trump had more than 11 million additional voters in 2020 than in 2016. See tables below. And Biden got more than 15 million additional voters than Hillary did in 2016. So the problem was Hillary, right? The Census Bureau reported that 2020 was the highest voter turnout of the 21st century. And that's because of Trump, dude. I mean, that guy is fucking PT Barnum.

You know, that guy brings the fucking eyeballs. However, that's not the whole story. Where there was a reduction was in the number of voters choosing a third option. Oh, you can do this whole shit. You're going to blame. I still don't think it's bad to vote third party. I want to encourage more fucking people to whatever. I'm just going to stay out of this.

There were nearly 5 million fewer voters casting ballots for a third option in 2020 compared to 2016. Yeah, people, enough people just were like, I don't even give a fuck if we get a warmonger with dementia. Anything but Trump. That's what ended up happening. Donald Trump, man. That fucking, can anybody wear out a welcome like that guy? My God. I honestly, I don't know if I said my, my opinion was what I thought happened to that guy was I don't think the people like in corporations and in banks really give a fuck.

Whether it's a Republican or a Democrat, what they want is consistency. Okay. They want to be able to anticipate what this person is going to do so they can protect their money. All right. And when you had a fucking guy like Trump, who no one could predict what the fuck he was going to do. Other than he was going to totally surprise you. I just feel like, I don't know, I feel like they just got him out of there. That kind of got him out of there.

I don't know dude. I'm fucking cynical dude. I mean, I literally think the fucking NFL has a side deal with Vegas with these stupid fucking prevent defenses. Anyway, obviously most people who vote view the third party vote as a throwaway with no real chance for success. That's not what they're doing is they're actually voting for the person that they think is going to be the best, which is what everybody should be doing instead of being blindly loyal to these two stupid fucking parties. All right. And you would actually get better candidates and you'd have a third party fucking option and stop making everything. It's either this or that and turn everything into half fields in the course.

That's what I think. I don't know. I'm crazy. Anyway, but what if there was a choice for an actual third option, the null void vote? What do you think it's not a null vote? It's it's encouraging a third party. You guys are all just you're institutionalized. Anyway, what do you think would happen if every ballot had a no option and a candidate couldn't be elected?

When the null ballots exceeded a third of the cast ballots? I don't know what I would think because I don't understand that question. Let me read this again. Obviously, most people who vote view the third party vote as a throwaway. Well, yeah, they do with no real chance for success. But what if there was a choice for an actual viable third option? The null vote. If you're saying it's a viable third option, but also saying it doesn't count.

What do you think would happen if every ballot had a no option and a candidate couldn't be elected when the null ballots exceeded a third of the cast ballots? It would essentially be a referendum on the candidates sending a message to the parties to go back and find better options. Food for thought. Food for thought, dude. I mean, I don't know how smart you think I am. I don't even get that, but that that sounded like you found some sort of solution in there. Oh, my God, dude. My fucking head is throbbing here, guys.

Let me just blow through these last two. These will be quick answers. But the reading will still be as excruciatingly long. Girlfriend is a dreamer daydream believer and a homecoming queen. Isn't it crazy how two Beatles died before two monkeys died? You know, no monkeys had died, right? There was two Beatles were gone and everybody in the monkeys was alive. You know, they had a two to nothing lead and then the monkeys came storming back and three of them died.

You know, and now it's three to two monkeys. All right. If Mickey Dolens goes, that's the fucking game. Who would have thought, you know? Who would have thought? Mickey Dolens, by the way, one of my favorite all time fucking comedians. I love them on that show, man. Funny as hell.

All right. Girlfriend is a dreamer. Hey, Billy Ball game. Huge fan. Can't wait for old dads to come out. I was, well, I appreciate that, man. I'm going to listen. I'm not going to lie to you guys, man.

When that thing comes out, I'm calling in a favor. I need you guys all to fucking see it wherever it's going to be. I need you to go fucking see this thing and you will not be disappointed. This movie is fucking hilarious and I need you to fucking go check it out. All right. I'll keep you posted. Anyway, but thank you.

00:48:57,160 --> 00:48:59,160 I got one person wants to see it. I was wondering if you still give advice since I haven't heard much of that on the podcast lately. Anyway, if you do, I wanted to ask about my girlfriend. I'm an engineering student and will likely have a well-paying job in the future. She did not go to college and has recently began going only recreationally to get a literature, literature studies degree. Hey, this chick knows how to live. Okay. She told me the other night that she wants to go to graduate school like Oxford to study English and just be a student.

I didn't shit on her dream, but I was just sitting there thinking, where's this money going to come from? Like, what are you going to do to pay that off? She's a very hard worker enjoys making her own money, but she also wants to be an actress, which scares me a little because of how risky pursuing that is. It's not as risky as you think. Okay. If I can get acting work as a bald ginger, I mean, there's work out there. Anyway, she works as a server and makes about a grand a week, which isn't bad. It's unbelievable.

She works as a server. She makes a thousand bucks a week, but she has expensive here in Long Island. She's making four grand a month, waiting tables. It says one K a week. I swear to God. Anyway, we have a family. I'd like it if she were also contributing to our income. Oh, if we have a family, I'd like it if she were also contributing to our income.

So I wasn't the only one treating our kids to vacation or financing their futures. She's always saying how she is to be rich when she is older. I think you want to say once she's always saying how she wants to be quote rich when she is older, but I feel she has her head in the clouds all the time. This bothered me. Should I look for someone else? I love this girl and she's super down to earth when it comes to disagreements and compromising. And I love that she is a nerd like me. However, this has become a recurring worry for me.

And I wonder how big a deal it seems from someone more experienced. Sorry for the long email. Thanks and go make a pie crust. Yeah, that's a tough one, dude. If that's something that's bothering you. See, this is one of the things where it's not fair. You know, this is not avatars to be a guy in this situation. If it was a woman and she felt those things, you know, all of her girlfriends like we need to sit down and talk to him about that.

You know, he's not going to just be fucking staring at his neighbor while you're out there busting your ass. He's got to fucking bring some income home. But it's also like a dream. So I mean, it's a hard thing. You know, I would just kind of go into it in a nice way and I would just ask her like, you know, try to see if she has some sort of a plan. How you fit into it. And how it works.

And if it seems that shit crazy. It's probably not going to happen, to be honest with you. I mean, you really have to have a fucking plan. If you're going to make a dream come true, you got to go after it, but you can't just be going after it. You got to have some sort of a plan. It's okay to dive in and figure it out as you go, but you got to be like taking in information. And like applying it like I didn't know shit about stand up other than that I wanted to do it. So I signed up for a talent contest.

I got into it. And then I got into it. I started realizing how the whole thing worked. And then I started thinking about my age and where I wanted to be. And then do I need to go to New York? Do I need to go to LA? I checked out both places. New York spoke to me.

I went there. I got to New York and you just kind of do that. You know, if you kind of fucking like want to do it, but you got like your head in the clouds and shit, like, yeah, I don't know. I don't know. That's a tough one, dude. But you know something? It's a progressive time. And like this is whole thing now talking about equality and, you know, they earn money too.

And, you know, some of them are starting to pay alimony because they're making more money than the guy when they get divorced. So I mean, I think your generation is it's more like leveled out like with my generation. It wasn't like that. Like I'm sort of the last generation was just like sort of expected to make the fucking money and pay for the date and all of that shit. So I would sit down. I would talk to her about it. And, you know, because it's your, you know, I know it's her dream, but it's also your life. And you don't want to fucking start a family with somebody.

You know, that's going to be going after this dream doesn't really have a plan and you're going to have to fucking support it and move or whatever the hell you're going to have to do. Yeah, I would just, I would just in a nice way, you know, just sort of poke around and then see if you feel like you can get into it more deeper or something like that. Or just say, listen, I don't know how to approach this. I don't know how to approach this subject, but, you know, you know, I want to support you. These are these, you know, but I, there's, I have a couple of concerns as far as like how I fit into it. So if you come at it like that way, then it's like, you're not saying like, hey, you know, if you fucking think you're going to be out there, you know, memorize the lines while I'm over here fucking digging ditches. You don't do that because then you come up like you're not supporting her. So just ask her how she plans on going about it and how you fit into it.

And then, you know, with that information, you can then decide if, if, you know, this is a situation you want to be in. I always, you know, I don't know. I can't say this, but I just always wonder when someone's with somebody there. I like her and everything, but she's saying that and it's kind of making me feel this. It's like, if you're really sort of head over heels, you kind of look past shit like that. But if you stay with somebody long enough, maybe you start, no, I don't know. Just do whatever the fuck I said 30 seconds ago. Sorry, my head's pounding right now.

All right. All right. Moving from North Carolina to New York, LA or DC. Oh, okay. Oh, man, fucking the Carolina is out by the Appalachian mountains are just incredible. Dear Billy, insert clever alliteration here. Oh, you tapped out. All right.

Long time listener here. Obviously, I think you're funny as shit. Your shit's funny. Sorry. So keep it up. Thank you. I grew up in a small town of less than 10,000 in Eastern North Carolina. That's amazing.

I was born in a small town. It's a very country area. Most never, most never leave my hometown. I decided to do something drastically different with my life. I graduated from school and I'm now practicing so-called big law. No one in my family has ever done anything close to this, so I have no guidance. Are you stepping out there? Good for you.

I know you're a comedian and not a lawyer, but you are well traveled and I need some advice. Okay. My job has told me that I may have to move from North Carolina to either DC, New York City or LA. What advice would you give someone moving from North Carolina to either of those cities? I'm a 29-year-old male with a noticeably beautiful bride who will be joining me. All right. So you've got the hardest part out of the way. You've got the person you want to spend your life with.

That's great. The biggest city we've lived in is Raleigh, North Carolina. Research Triangle. Raleigh, North Carolina. I've got to go down to Darrell's on Hillsboro Street, but I know that is nothing compared to these places. I'd appreciate your advice on this. Thank you for your podcast. I went through a spell of substance abuse several years ago and your mindset on drinking helped me switch my outlook away from the court-ordered AA brainwash.

You're doing more than comedy. As always, go fuck yourself, but do so responsibly so you can take care of your beautiful family. Okay. All right, dude. Living in any of those cities is not a fucking problem. All right. You know how to take care of yourself. You already have a job and you already have your wife.

Okay. You know, with your smartphone, you can find out where to shop. What it really is, is it's like, you know how to do all of that stuff. It's no different. What you really have to do is it's your mindset. You got to be in the right mindset in all of those places. Like as far as everywhere you're going to go to, LA is probably going to be the biggest different things. The other side of the country, different time zone, all of that stuff.

I know, you know, DC still has a Southern vibe. New York City, obviously that's East Coast, higher energy or whatever. You'll be fine. The biggest thing is your attitude. The one thing I learned the first time I lived in LA was it wasn't the city. It was me. And I came out here and, you know, I had all these preconceived notions about what Los Angeles was. You know, I was an insecure person.

So me being from the East Coast was a big thing for me. And I had to wear my sports gear and my fucking three quarter leather jackets. Everybody knew that, you know, hey man, that guy's from the mean streets of the suburbs of the safe suburbs of Boston, Massachusetts. You know, 20 searching for some fucking identity, right? And it wasn't until I left LA that I thought and I discovered, you know, years later coming back with more of an open mind, the incredible cuisine, the hiking, the outdoor activities, the museums and all of this incredible shit that is in the culture, the music, all of the stuff that is out here. And I would say the number one, like worst travelers that I've met are New Yorkers, people that grew up in New York. It's this weird thing that they have everywhere they go.

They have to like shit on it. And I don't know, I think there's just too many songs written about New York, ball washing that city. Like, I don't know what it is, like they go to other cities and they count skyscrapers and talk about when shit stays open until and you can't get any good this year. But it's like, dude, do you really think this place sucks and everybody just sits here accepting that it sucks? It's like, everywhere you go, there's fun to be had and it's going to be different fun and it should be different. It should be different. You're going someplace different. The whole purpose of travel. That's what's funny to me about New York is it's like, I went, I left New York and I went to this other city and it was fucking different.

It's like, yeah, yes, that's what's supposed to happen. I went to Jacksonville, Florida and had a fucking blast one time. I was just like, oh my God, what the fuck am I going to do there? And I tried alligator. I went to a fucking gun range. I shot guns with fucking silences on them. I went to a Jaguars game. I had a fucking blast.

I had a blast. It's not a place I would ever live. But like, when I think of Jacksonville now, though, I have a happy thought going there. Now, if I went there and I try to do LA shit or Massachusetts here and fucking New York shit, I love New York City or whatever. But like, that would be my advice. You're going to do fine in all of those cities. Just move there and have an open mind. And if your wife is a little nervous or whatever, just say, listen, you know, we're young. We don't have to stay here.

We're just going to be, you know, I'm working my way up in this firm, whatever. If you want to go back to North Carolina someday, I have no problem with that. All right. None of this shit is permanent. We're young. And what ends up happening too is you live in a fucking city for a while with the wrong mindset. When you get pulled away, you know, it's then when you think like, oh fuck, I could have done all of this shit when I was there and I didn't do it because I was too busy hating on the place. So just keep an open mind. You'll be fucking fine. All right.

Anyway, that's the podcast. Go fuck yourselves. Fuck the prevent defense. Go Bruins and I will check in on you on Thursday. BNB premium selection. Vertrouw your instinct. Volgen verstand. Info en voorwaarden op BMW.be.