Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 11-15-21

Episode Date: November 15, 2021

Bill rambles about Detroit, the Bartnick story, and toenail painting.   ButcherBox.com/BURR to get FREE bacon and $20 off your first box Try ZipRecruiter FOR FREE at this exclusive web address — ZipRecruiter dot com slash [BURR].  

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Byrne. It's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday, November 15th 2021, what's going on? How are you? You're probably thinking, well Jesus, Bill, you usually have a little more fucking energy than that. You usually have a little more volume You know To watch I say stop fucking nitpicking. All right. You ever think that maybe just maybe I'm in a hotel room right now And I can't scream cunt at the top of my lungs I Am currently I am in Milwaukee, Wisconsin by the time you hear this. I'll be back though

One of my favorite cities and what sucked was I you know, I just got here Landed You know had to do two shows and then went to the Packers game and I didn't get to do all the shit that I wanted to do But the good thing is I'm gonna get to oh, I'm gonna come back and do it another time The next time I'm gonna bring my wife here. I love this fucking place, but anyways, I had a great great time out here, man First things first I got to give a shout out to another Rapidly becoming one of my favorite cities Detroit, Michigan I

Love that city like all those fucking places they call the rust belt and all that shit I'd like all of those and just watching all of these cities, you know Pittsburgh came back Cleveland came back and now you see in Detroit's heading in that direction. It's a really cool thing to see and We played the Fox theater Absolutely legendary legendary place and the sound I can't even tell you how amazing the sound was the crowds were amazing And you know, everybody's just psyched to be out and I just felt in the best way the crowd was like just egging me on To be more of an idiot than I usually am Which is fun, you know what I mean? I had a great time

Sorry, I'm reaching for something here. I don't want the fucking cord to fall here And you know when the sound is what it should be, you know, that's when you can really you know Take them on a ride because then you don't have to feel like you just got to be up there Like if you can't hear yourself, you think you got it like they then you think the crowd can't hear you And then you after a while you realize already I'm blowing out my voice. They're laughing. They can hear me. So I need to just Deal with the fact that I can't hear myself and then there's nights like in Detroit at the Fox theater where You know, I mean, it's like they turned on the lightsaber

So now you can bring your voice down You can take them on a little fucking weird sinister thing or whatever and then bring it back up and do the shit joke Or whatever you take them on a fucking ride So Just absolutely Absolutely incredible incredible crowds I got a little bit to Detroit pizza. I went touristy, you know next time I'll dive a little deeper I went to buddies. I know it's a chain. I know that why'd you go to buddies, dude?

You should have gone to fucking Mario's whatever Hey, I guess I'll just have to come back again, you know, am I supposed to hit every place at the same time? so Went there at a great time Nate Bargatze and Mike Vecchione were playing the MGM so we got to hang out you know and Just had a fucking blast hanging out with them and I stayed in a really cool hotel and You know it was fucking hilarious, you know Detroit throughout the years. It's just literally look like

You know looks like the end of the world You remember how fucked up it was when people actually quarantined or were supposed to quarantine or whatever in the beginning of the pandemic and just Cities just look like ghost towns like that's what their shit look like I Was like fucking Like zombies had come in and eaten everybody and they had gone to bed until night And you would just walk around during the day like where the fuck is everybody man it was a

Fascinating fucking place to be there's been a few like that like Cincinnati had a little bit of that vibe I'm going back. I've been on the road forever guys. I've been doing this for like 30 years. So like it's sort of the You know before computers and growing weed started bringing some money, you know, whatever the fuck happened or you know People from China and Russia trying to hide their money in glass towers over here. Whatever happened. I don't know what but These places are starting to come back which is which is great, you know, so So this time I was there I was staying in this the hotel and I fucking You know, I opened the curtain to see what my view is and I'm looking across I got there at night

I took the red eye in and it was just like a bunch of lofts with no curtains for what a reason just like wide open I Was I felt like Jimmy Stewart in rear window and I'm just looking at somebody sitting on a couch watching TV There's another one. There's a woman sitting there on a computer. I'm like what the fuck so I close the curtain And I was like, all right, this is the beginning When the city comes back, you know, the Soto so pause I always refer to that South Park now legendary episode for me What about gentrification everything trying to bring white people back white people love lofts, you know in South Park You know, they got to get the whole foods to validate yourself or whatever

I don't know where they got something going on there because there was just a bunch of fucking you know White people in these lofts and it was still so new. They didn't have curtains. I guess I remember like then like I was there for two days And at some point during the second day I opened up the curtain to get some light in there because I keep fucking losing my mask, right? What did I put it in my jacket pocket? Is it fucking over here? You know, it's my it's my new cell phone The new thing I'm trying to search for so I open it up

And who doesn't I mean, I'm white. I love a loft I Don't know why I'm making it racial like only white people like lofts But I just remember always throughout all these movies that I watch all the back to like Kevin Bacon and Quicksilver Anytime you lived in a city, they always had these giant fucking lofts and they're riding bicycles around them Everybody looked like they were struggling, but you knew they had money, you know Sort of like Parvati chic sort of look and now of course those things are you know, I guess artists used to stay in them down in Soho

Started down there in New York, I think and now they're worth like a zillion bucks. I don't know what happened. So anyway So I was gonna like window shop. I figured it was during the day No one was gonna be home and there was like a glare on my window or another person's window. I was looking down this apartment. I was like kind of looks like a Woman's face. I kind of moved a little bit I really so it's just a woman looking right back up at me and I was looking like right back It's one of the freakiest fucking I felt like I was in the ring or something. I just shut the curtain I was just like

You know nowadays. I'm like, oh fuck is she gonna feel not safe and she gonna like report me and stuff It was like I wasn't layering at her. I was trying to make out what I was looking at not for nothing She was fucking staring at me All right speaking of which I'm not gonna say who this was All right, because it's this person's story Alright, how do I do this? We were hanging out We went to a cigar bar in Detroit. They had a great time met some great people

and They were saying now the cigar bar was was actually on a suspension bridge The owner came over and he was talking all about it and I guess he helped design the place and everything so we'll listen and all that shit and There was this other guy over there And yeah, and like I'm just gonna tell the story had this fucking chick with them and she was just like attending to his every need right and he was sitting there, you know One of those portly guys you could tell was gonna get the gout, you know

He wasn't a heart attack guy. He was a gout guy, you know rich food drinking the wine and shit his toes were gonna be on fire You know before he hits 35, right? So this woman is just sort of Hanging with on him and I'm thinking like Wow, that's amazing. He's got like an old school Chick dead like she's just like the level of attention that she's given this guy. I mean, it's fucking ridiculous, you know rubbing his shoulders and stuff. I'm like, wow Yeah, you never see that right So Then she kind of left

And like didn't come back and everything that was like wait a minute does she like work here Is that like a fucking option or something? I couldn't I could not figure out what was going on So anyway, we're fucking hanging out there whatever guys are having some drinks and shit. I don't drink anymore Long story short Somebody maybe has a couple two three too many We all go back to the hotel And said person is uh, you know goes to sleep. They're fucking butt ass naked. They wake up. They got to take a piss, right? So that's dark. They don't see too good. They're feeling around for the fucking door

And they finally find the bathroom door. They open the door and they shut it behind them And then they quickly realized they're not in the bathroom. He was out in the hallway Fucking butt ass naked out in the hallway of the hotel like some wacky sketch, but it was real So I was like, too, what did you do? He goes, what can I do? He goes, I just covered my junk with my hands and I just started walking down to the fucking front desk Fucking butt ass naked. He goes down there and it was like three in the morning. So he's thinking, well, maybe It'd just be the person who works the front desk and god willing it's a guy and I'll be all right He goes down there. There's like 10 people there and he comes walking around the corner. He's like, whoa

Whoa, what the fuck? freaking out And he's so chill. He's just like, I thought I was in the bathroom. I just need like a key and everybody just starts laughing They give him a key. They start escorting him back up and some woman slapped him on the ass This is my favorite part he wasn't even embarrassed Like the next day it was just walking around talking to me. Hey, how you doing? What's going on? Like I would be mortified I would just be like, I have to check out of here because I'm naked guy

I got to get the fee. He just completely didn't give a shit. Nobody cared and it was uh, I don't know It's all how you carry yourself um But Jesus christ Fucking crying laughing And I love that the woman slapped him on his ass when he left too and then we were all laughing too Going do you imagine if it was the other way around if you did that? But I mean, yeah, obviously, you know There's a physical strength difference. I get it. I get it's a different thing, but it was fucking hilarious. So, um

Anyway, and then we just did three shows at the fox, you know, uh, always think chris cornell when I'm there Um, it's the last place he performed unfortunately and uh, so you definitely feel like what am I Doing here, how do I deserve to be here and you hear that sound and the people the fucking Detroit comedy fans are fucking unbelievable. I'm just gonna say that And that that place was incredible and it's it just shot to the uh Top of the list of my favorite places to play I've been there before but I don't know I don't know where my act was at and then also, you know, it takes a certain type of, you know

Adjustment to play a place like that And to feel like you should be there. So this time I came out there and I just you know, I'd done it before You know, I didn't feel like uh How I was feeling before like jesus christ I think I probably looked up the people that had played there and I got a little shook or whatever But anyway, this time it went great. So Then we uh, we fly over to uh, Milwaukee and I'm going I'm you know, I'm meeting all my buddies You know, my knucklehead friends from high school and shit and I'm just like

You know, because we're gonna go to the uh, they're gonna come out to the show And then we're gonna go up to uh Lambo the next day to go to the Green Bay Fucking uh, Seattle Seahawk game Right So, you know, and during that time somehow we're gonna take a steam at the fister hotel my favorite fucking hotel I know it's a it's an unfortunate name, but it's the fister family p f i s t e r And it's got the sickest steam and right as we were pulling up I was like, oh fuck Should I book we're getting here on a saturday shit because I've never had to book a steam there

Of course we get there and they're all booked up and I didn't didn't get a chance to get a steam So I was bummed out by that. I was here with Nate Craig who's a wisconsin guy You know, I love milkshakes. He goes. I'm gonna get you a custard. He wouldn't even call it a shake He goes we got up here. It's called the customer and I get you one didn't have time We had to do two shows don't worry. We'll get it tomorrow in the way of Lambo. All right didn't get we never fucking got him Then I know this place to get great brats. We didn't have time Didn't get him. It just it was just not enough fucking time But what we did do is go to the uli cigar shop

Like we did last time and they let us come in there and hang out I bought some cigars and I got to catch up, you know with some family members and some high school buddies of mine and we just laughed our asses off and And then we fucking go up the next, you know, we went out we did two shows The crowds are great Had one knucklehead both shows You know, there was some woman in the front row. I mean she just was not laughing And I was like, all right. Well, you know, I am saying the shit. I'm saying so I get it, right?

And she was just sitting there just staring at me like so glumly This look of pain on her face and I'm just thinking like why doesn't she just leave? Right I just don't understand You know what I mean White women for some reason when they don't like something they won't leave It they they can't just be like, okay. This is not for me They they the everything has to change

Everybody around them is enjoying it But they're not enjoying it. So the whole thing has to stop like I sort of saw a glimpse of something that happened in some comic Some white woman came up on the fucking stage and was just standing there And and as usual the absolutely horrific security at a fucking comedy club So anyway I'm getting into my final fucking 10 minutes. She's in the front row and she has her head in her hands Looking down at the floor and at that point I'm like, did she take some edibles? like I don't know what the fuck is going on here, but like I

Am seasoned enough now that I never even fucking addressed it and I was just like well Everybody else is having a good time and she has free will to get up and fucking walk out of here. So I you know Had a great time and right as I was getting to the closer She she got up and the guy she was with got up and they walked out Which was fucking hilarious to me because it's like you literally had 90 minutes I Well, I mean I wasn't on for that long I was on for like an hour 10 hour and 15, but you had well over a fucking hour

To just stand up and leave Um, I don't know. Maybe she was sick She looked like she fucking You know just lost a playoff series in the end like the level of drama was uh Not gonna lie to you. It was a little disturbing So to the point like I'm doing my shit and I'm thinking in my head Like did she just get a text that something's going on bad at home or something?

You know did she just get dragged to the show and so anyway But the rest of the crowd every had a great time and that was it and then I fucking uh The next show I do crowds even fucking better And you know my friends already saw me on the first show so I was winging it fucking around so it really freed me up And I had an even better set on the second show was fucking having a great time And then that just had the commenter down front Trying to guess where I was going and blah blah blah blah and just so wanted to be a part of the show

So I ignore this guy I ignore this guy and I'm catch I caught a zone and I'm just the set is it's flying Just flying Clear skies everything's great 30 years of experience no one else can hear the guy Don't say anything and then I'm doing this corporate guy what I'm saying You know with when you have great sound you can bring your voice down and sail this crazy shit And I'm in the middle of that stuff and this guy's trying to guess the punchline and I just I don't know the old me came up

I just snapped I was like will you shut the fuck up will you shut the fuck and he stands up? Oh, oh, oh couldn't wait to stand up Couldn't wait to stand up. I go stop acting like you don't know what you're doing Shut the fuck up and he was trying to talk. I just go and shut the fuck up Sit down and shut the fuck up. You've been talking the whole Fucking show just a complete 100 attention whore So then I fucked up all the momentum I had You know probably fucked up the end of the show a little bit

And then the self-involved douche I almost started laughing. He was sitting there with like this hurt look on his face um You know it's just like dude if you're that much of an attention whore do what I do go down to a fucking open mic Right five minutes of joke, but shut the fuck I forgot another guy when I was in Detroit I was towards the end of my act this guy just goes hey bell bell bell bell bell If I go what? He goes it's always been a dream of mine to hug you

Or something like that. It's just like all right. Well Unfortunately, sir. I don't share your dream, right? And I just fucking I don't even know what the hell happened with that guy I think some people, you know, they know where I'm from and then they watch goodwill hunting too many times And then they think that they're just gonna fucking Start saying, you know, it's not your fault. It's not your fault And I'm gonna like collapse and cry in their arms. I don't know what the fuck was really weird There was like one weirdo I did five shows and I had three weirdos

But everybody else was unbelievable and I want to thank Everyone in Detroit and Milwaukee that came out Just You know good lord, I mean just as far as back to back cities to do for comedy That's about that's about as good as it gets man. I was I had I could not have had a better time So then along comes, uh Sunday You know, and we got Seattle versus the fucking seahawks and on the way up

We got the patriots game on and by the way, is it me or are the new england patriots the six and 14? No one wants to play Isn't that what they always say Bill Belichick in november I don't give a fuck other than though the team he had like last year Which we would just you know All of a sudden tom brady's gone. We're trying to get used to cam newton, you know who I liked but you know He had nobody to throw to

I heard today they were using him like a fucking wildcat offense or something like that It's like can you give this guy a break? He's fucking 35 or whatever It gets somebody to throw the fucking ball to So anyway, uh, we were watching the game and they just fucking destroyed Absolutely destroyed and outclassed You know, one of those things where like the coach I bet of the other team was just like, uh, you know Can't make any exclusive excuses, you know, we they we got beat on both sides of the ball

You know, they came out there. Uh, they were ready to play and we weren't so you know hats off to them and uh, we're not going to stand here and make any excuses and uh But you know, we're going to put this one behind us You know, we're going to have a good week of practice and we're going to go out there and uh Get after it next week because uh, that's all we know how to do around here Coach so and so are you going to have to put your house up for sale? um Anyway, so we go to lambo field

like the holy grail of Uh You know football stadiums This is the only one left. I would say soldier field too, but like Soldier field is likes, you know, like when uh, uh One of those real housewives goes out and just gets too much plastic surgery just gets like frozen face like if frozen face Was a football stadium Uh

I mean they had one of the baddest No, fuck around stadium soldier field With those fucking columns and just I mean it was just it was something to behold and I actually got to go to a game there Before they changed it and then The poor people of chicago always said it looked like they landed a spaceship on top of the fucking place because they just built something on top of it. It's just It was uh, yeah, it was just a complete clash You know, my name is I was driving on a detroit some landlord built the biggest fucking bootleg Two family I ever saw was one of those great old houses in detroit

They had a big porch around the front Like a wraparound porch and this guy built an enclosed staircase That went up the side of the porch right along the front of the house and entered the middle of the front of the house You know and he put gutters on it too, you know It was like up to code It was the ugliest thing I ever saw and I And I was trying to think when they entered upstairs Did they enter through a walk-in closet or was it like a shared bathroom?

You know like those in those old houses they have like the double entry like the old brady bunch house Which was a mid-century these this was an older house than that um So anyway, we're we're going up to uh Lambeau field and this is my third attempt To see a game there. I did see a preseason game with brett farf a long time ago Where he played the browns and uh, I don't know what it was like He played like half the first quarter and that was it

And uh, I was playing the skyline cafe in appleton wisconsin. I went over to that game I think or I maybe I was doing some college gigs up there. So then The next time I went up there I had tickets for the sunday night game and it was me bart nick and versey and we were all fucking psyched to go to the game And at that time I was in the middle of you know, we got the tickets and then I booked an acting gig And I was in the middle of shooting this thing. So they let me do the gig But then right after the gig I had to fly right back So

I had to say goodbye to them knowing they were going to lambeau because I had to shoot You know, I had an early call monday in atlanta. So I had to fly and I missed that game. So i'm finally getting up there all right You know fucking green bay versus seattle And uh, I'm all fucking excited for the game and everything and I can't believe I'm going in and it's snowing There's snow flurries on the way up And I'm playing like the music from fucking NFL films, you know

We're all laughing talking about growing up watching nfl films just having a fucking great time So we get in there We got the perfect seats we're on like the 45 yard line right at the the last row of the original stadium Because that was big to me. I wanted I wanted to sit um You know in the original stadium And by the way the way they added on it looks fucking great the stadium is amazing and the fans were awesome everybody up there was super polite And it's just it's just and it was just like going to the movies, you know

You're like, I can't wait to see this movie There's nobody loud sitting next to me and all of a sudden this fucking seattle seahawk fan comes in Okay, and it was just like You know couldn't hold his alcohol And he was just coming he's like, ah, fuck the packers He was just sort of giving the finger to nobody like both hands Like throwing punches with the finger, you know, oh like i'm the crazy guy And everybody's just sort of looking at him and then they were introducing the uh

You know the packers you know number, you know fucking 12 Aaron Rodgers Aaron Rodgers. Fuck you suck a dick suck a dick Suck it like doing that. There's like kids around and stuff just being a complete ass And i'm like, oh this guy's not gonna last Yeah, i'm looking around And people in green bay they're decent people they're polite people They're not doing anything but every all of a sudden, you know, you start seeing the wrestlers The football players that people are not to be fucked with start like turning around looking at this guy And me and Nate are just laughing going like this isn't gonna end well

And he's like fucking hitting people on top of their little fucking pom poms Going i don't like you. I don't like you. Fuck you. Oh, it's fucking. It's just an idiot So finally, you know, i'm like You know, he starts saying shit to me and i'm just like, dude I've been trying to go to this For fucking ever i have the perfect seats and i gotta sit next to this guy and i did something That i've never done before rather than confront it

I was just like, you know what i'm just gonna get away from this guy We got six tickets and i just asked my buddies you guys mind if i sit down there Because my buddies they have a better temperament than i do and they're like, yeah, no problem, right? So i get down the other side and my biggest buddy All right, big fucking irish dude. He goes that guy's being a problem down there. I got you know, he's harmless I go believe me one of these fucking locals is gonna handle him and he goes, all right And you know, i'm watching the game and all of a sudden like i don't see my buddy and i look down And he and he had gone all the way down and sat where i sat and just started looking at him

And the guy goes Why are you here? And my buddy looks at him He goes, why do you think i'm here? The guy completely imploded and moved two people over and um And that was kind of it and then fortunately i actually bets uh the seahawks because you know me and verzi are going head to head and uh

I didn't realize you know, you could tell russia wilson's figure is not healed because there was some throws that he made that you know I don't see him make so uh, I didn't understand that and um, erin rogers look great They both had two bad picks in the end zone, but other than that there's a great defensive fucking game It was fun watching that guy get shut down. He ended up touching the hat of some fucking you know packer fan and Well, I put the fuck did the guy say he talked to him like a child

And this kid could just tell he really was just like this passive aggressive fucking pussy Who wasn't going to do anything and then everybody kind of realized that and then the packers like totally shut him out and just shut the guy down But I was really amazed with the patience and the friendliness of the uh packer fans just completely outclassed This guy, I don't think all seattle fans. I like this but like this guy is unfortunately one of those guys that exists in every fan base and it was just like He was kind of fascinating. It was just like you're in lambo field This is like where nfl football began. You're basically in the yankee stadium

Of the nfl the most titles Have been one here nfl titles most titles nfl titles were one here vincent barty barge star All of those guys Nitsky all of those great nitsky all of these guys played Max McGee You know All of these guys fucking played here and you're not even taking it in

He was acting like he was just at some fucking espn zone. I was really like I don't know. It was really fucking bizarre He did come by and hit me on the head. He did that little thing and he hit me as he walked by and I kind of you know I don't know. I just fucking pushed him Stupid fucking 53 years old pushing somebody felt good though I Did feel good Well, I've been going to the gym, you know, I can push a drunk if I want to right so other than that it was amazing

They had a flyover. It was fucking snowing. It was a great game great defensive game Which made sense, you know the frozen tundra and all that shit and then this old guy I don't know who he was looked like chuck yeager saying god bless america Uh at some point. I think it was like halftime and uh He absolutely crushed it and um Oh, that was another thing that Seattle guy was doing like the national anthem was going on and he was riffing his own lyrics

Sort of singing patriotic lyrics while saying green bay could eat a dick and I was just like This is a support the troops area, buddy You come from a city that big claim to fame is is you know, starbucks Starbucks was started here and after we throw we catch the fish we throw it to each other. You know what I mean? It's not exactly known for uh fisticuffs What do they do they have new world order fucking riots or some shit? I don't want any fucking problem with seattle. I'm not gonna take down the whole fucking city because of this fucking jerk off

but um My buddy actually was telling me this theory that how they came up with the 12th man Was because they were fucking their fans over so bad when fans realized that a large beer and a small beer or whatever You know, they had one tall skinny cup and one big fat one And someone finally emptied the short fat one and poured the big one in it was The same amount of beer and they were completely fucking over their own fan base and I guess all The original lunatic fans from the kingdom said fuck this and they weren't coming around so they had to fucking kiss their ass and create the 12th man And they bought into it

They bought into it. Uh, they also want to fucking Super Bowl. So I think it worked out for everybody. That's a weird way to get there You know Who the fuck made that move? Hey, let's fuck over our own fan base Um, all right, so that's it. So, uh, I had a great time You know, that's how great wisconsin is I didn't get a milkshake I didn't get a brought I had one at the game that's stunk But that's what you get when you buy one at the game and I didn't get to take a steam here at the hotel but I still had a fucking awesome time and, um

Great shows and it was just sort of a weird weird thing, you know three weirdos that shows and then the one fucking weirdo at the uh At the fucking packer game, but it was fun watching everybody just sort of shut the guy down But I did see a bunch of other seattle fans there that weren't acting like assholes I saw one other guy acting that way, but then, you know, it is how it is. Okay. Let's uh, let's read some, um Some advertising here for the week

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We got to wrap it up here right mandalorian pinball machine Hi bill Hello from australia. Hope you are well. Would love to see you tour here at some point in the near future Uh, I would love to do it. Um, I got my mandalorian pinball machine great game really enjoying it. You got one of those things Those things seem really fucking cool I just don't have any I got the kids. I have no room for it. Uh, it's awesome to hear your callouts in the game I didn't know that happened puts a huge smile on my face every time Hopefully stern the maker will send you one if they haven't already they have not and i'm not asking them to

I have no room for it. All right, and uh, I enjoy pinball, but I don't need one in my house I don't play it to that level If I see one I'll go play pinball, but i'm not like a uh A pinballer um But you know it takes up a lot of space, right? All right Hey pussy hater. Oh, jesus

This might be from the ladies Um, oh jesus I went oh and four in my picks this week. I have to go in four now Hey carrot no top. I cannot believe your response to the lady whose boyfriend had a cat that meows loudly at night Oh, I can't remember what I said Uh, you immediately put the blame on the dude and told her fuck him and his cat. He's a piece of shit dump his ass Well, yeah They had been together for three months and every night the cat meows so loudly this person can't sleep All right, i'm paraphrasing, but that was the gist of it

Usually even when you have a hotheaded reaction to something You are able to stop yourself and think of it from the other side Which is a big reason big part of why I like your advice portion of the podcast Well, thanks for the almost fucking compliment. Look at you putting yourself above me Usually when you have a hotheaded reaction um But here you're a hundred percent on the girl's side Yeah, i'm on a hundred percent on the side of like letting somebody get a good night's sleep

Yeah, what kind of an asshole gets into a relationship if they have a cat that fucking meows all night long So loud that the person that they're with can't get any sleep That'll literally drive somebody insane Anyway, do you really not see why the guy might be hesitant to just get rid of something he loves so dearly? Uh, no, I just you shouldn't fucking be living with somebody else At some point you got look I loved my pit bull dearly, but I knew it would eat my kids. So I gave it away And I found someone that could fucking handle the dog which it He did until the dog passed away

I don't understand this. I think you just like you're one of these people that psycho loves animals You know, maybe that's what it is. Do you ever think that maybe you're maybe you're getting a little hotheaded here Anyway, for a lot of people they consider their pets to be like family How about that chick gets some earmuffs or earplugs? Oh, fuck you Ah There's a lot out there that work great Oh, you don't feel them when they're in your ears. All right I wear earplugs all the time because my ears are shot

You do feel them you do feel them in your fucking ears And I've always even gotten those high-end ones for musicians and they end up not working after a while all right I mean I have to go home and listen to Oh The whole fucking night I have to get earplugs I'm not the one screaming and yelling. Listen if I was in a relationship And and the person had a cat and the whole time the cat was trying to sleep. I was going. Hey

Hey Hey, I can't yell too loud. I'm in the hotel I would expect to be the one that gets you know, I'm the problem. I'm gonna be gone right Anyways, let's get back to uh, you know seeing it from the cat's perspective um Some earmuffs somebody's gonna wear earmuffs earmuffs. Do you mean like like Earmuffs like your ears are cold?

Don't think that's the problem you need something that gets rid of sound Um, there's a lot out there that work great and you don't feel them when they're in your ears That's not true or maybe shut the door and get a white noise machine that would drown out the sound a bit Listen, I didn't say to get rid of the cat I didn't say that I said get rid of the guy and the cat goes with them get the fuck out of here. This is it That is the tip of the fucking iceberg if somebody's gonna show up with something that just yells and make noise all night Uh, yeah, I think maybe that you just you're into animals and you don't really even understand human beings How about that? All I know is if a girl said to me, it's me or your dog

I would show her the door 10 times out of 10. Well, that's fine and you can keep your dog and you can jerk off Well, she's supposed to sit there and deal with your dog growling at her or shitting at her slippers and still fuck you I mean who I Well, you know, there's these companies that make plastic You know booties that you can put on before you put your feet in your slippers in case there's dog shit in there Maybe you're not a cat person or something, but it's a myth that they don't show affection They could be every bit as lovable and as loyal as a dog Well, I think the fact that you have to to show that they're fucking awesome. You have to compare them to dogs says a lot about cats

Um, yeah, I don't have any beef with cats I don't have any beef with cats if you have there's a lot of cool cats out there. They just sit in the windowsill You know, they walk around your property and the road. It's fucking, you know, they know not to come by there It's like when you see an american flag and a trump sign. No one's breaking into that house, right same fucking thing I like cats. I don't have any fucking problem with them. I don't want to fucking live in a one one won't shut up the whole night Shut the fuck up. We're all sleeping all right Or let the fucking thing out whatever its problem is

Let it go run around and murder some shit, you know all right, anyway He said I like like I said, I just literally can't believe you took her side so hard buddy. You just love cats You just love cats I get it without even considering what the guy might be night think about his girl Telling him to get rid of something. He clearly loves a lot Um, he doesn't clearly love anything a lot. That's what you deduced from that because you're you're super imposing Your love of cats and pets and that they're a part of the family You're also thinking that I never had a pet and I don't know what that feels like

While all the while calling me hotheaded like I have knee jerk reactions to shit You know for the record, but I don't pre-read these either. So, you know, there's gonna be a lot of shooting from the hip here Um, hope you revisit it at least Have a great day and go fuck yourself. Hey buddy Uh, I I don't plan on revisiting it Like there was this is some bad moment in history It's unbelievably fucking selfish to have a fucking pet that is keeping the other person in your life up And to do absolutely fucking nothing about it

And so, you know, maybe you could get a sleep apnea mask and fucking, you know, duck tape it around the cat's fucking face Why do I have to put something on the on my girlfriend? All right Fucking cat is living here rent free. It shits in the house. We take care of that. We feed it We rub its fucking belly when it's in the mood if it isn't it tries to scratch us You know instead of just being like, hey, I'm you know, I'm not into this However, cat would fucking communicate that. I mean, I don't know I don't know, you know something I think you need to revisit it at least because nowhere in there

Did she ever say that this guy loves this cat more than love itself? All right, that was all shit that you put in there and you got all butt hurt Because you you love your kitty cat, which I think is fantastic And I think you should live with your kitty cat until it dies. God willing 17 18 years from now And uh, but I think if that cat is a cunt and you choose that cat over somebody else, uh, you don't deserve to have them All right, I don't think that's fucking a hotheaded response I don't know, but you know, I don't think I've reached your level of of you know, enlightenment All right, southern accents

Do you ever think that maybe just maybe Maybe that cat saw action over in iraq and has pts. I mean how much of a backstory are you going to build for this fucking cat? All right, southern accents Now I'm gonna have to listen to people talking about shelter animals Uh southern accents Hey, billy the kid burr on the topic of southern accents and ignorance I came across this pretty cool and quick explanation of where the different accents and draws

Nothing else that's just a period you mean come from The women in the video explains how the american southern speakers are the only ones left who still sound like our ancestors All right, is that a good thing you mean the slave owners? I mean the people who exterminated uh indians Uh, she explains that the first and second generations from great britain spoke in more of a british accent But the kids of those parents began to develop an elongation In the way they talk. Well, then they they didn't I mean We initially came over with with the accents of whatever country we came from

Right The only ones who sound like our ancestors. I don't know about that Um, the women and the woman in the video then shows the different accents from the various southern states It's very interesting and I thought you'd enjoy it. All right, I'll check that out and I will I will tweet out the link here belgian listener Trying to understand cancel culture Uh, you owe it to yourself at some point to go to belgium

Oh, you got to go there And how seriously they take beer and every beer has its proper glass. It is just a fucking art form And if I ever go off the wagon, that's the place to be Um, all right, dear bold burr, uh, big fan of your work humility energy Well, talk to the cat person because they think i'm a fucking hothead and uh, yada yada yada. All right, I don't know I don't know you I know you don't read this shit. Anyway, all right. I'm reading it. You know, I'm going to therapy now I'll take a compliment now

I'm living in belgium Come here someday. I I did antwerp one time bros and I saw tommy aldridge in the fucking Lobby And I said tommy aldridge And I knew he was tired from the fucking road. So he turned around like hey, and I just said thanks for all the great music I just walked away. Didn't ask for a picture. No autograph. No fucking nothing

But I got to talk to him, which was awesome brussels is full of anglophones Close to the folks you get to meet in scandinavian countries who all speak perfect english somehow Um, well, let's not get crazy. They don't they speak english. I can understand Let's not get crazy Welcome to sweden Um, I must say I struggled to get the whole canceled bullshit going on in the us I know we have it here too, but as a sort of watered-down version of what you guys have once again a great us

First to spread on the world. Thank you. I know. Sorry. I do get the idea I do get the snowball process of it. Well, then there it is. Yeah, it all starts with the good idea There's guys taking the dicks out at work They're fucking raping women and they have no one to go to and yeah that and let's we should get rid of these guys And then it becomes a moneymaker both uh with news organizations and and these non-profits air quote that fucking start up and then You know, it's no different than like when a hurricane happens

Then a bunch of people lose everything everybody else wants to help Right. So what do they do? They fucking, you know, they uh Start sending money to these organizations that pop up and inevitably you end up finding some of them are bogus and people just keep the fucking money and this This stuff this cancel culture me too shit. Unfortunately is no different. There's always going to be opportunists And uh, you're starting to see people use cancel culture Now that they're educated on how the snowball works to try to just take somebody out

Who didn't even do anything they just don't like his politics And it is really fucking amazing to watch All of these people that are so-called progressive sit back and say nothing and just let it happen because they also don't like that person's politics It's pretty sickening Um, anyway, I do get the idea says and I get the snowball process of it yet every time I try to dig a bit into it seems so disproportionate that I end up confused Let me explain my confusion On the recent dave chappelle thing

I see famous americans like joe rogan Like bill marr sort of jumping on the subject and trying to defend their fellow comedian Yet whenever I see the actual attack by which I mean the first outrage take And not the even lazier retweeters Oh, the retreaters are worse. They just see the accusation and then they just write and i'm surprised why? You know actions have consequences You know big surprise And they don't know they probably haven't even watched the clip

Anyway, I see some dude or chick with a rather low quality media platform mediocre audience Which is what I meant by disproportionate. Yeah, they're the ones that get it going. I guess. I don't know I try to ignore all of that shit. He goes. I'm not trying to make you say the obvious I know right these untalented want to be famous douche dick riding the easy train of lazy outrage to get some publicity This seems very clear. Well, you actually just described most of media Um, you know, there's just a lot of stuff to look out there a lot of video games to play a lot of shit to stream Every month as people walking around going. Oh my god. Have you seen squid games?

It's the greatest show ever It's the greatest show since the greatest show a month ago and everybody's got to stream it and get caught up So I think news agencies um, is that how you say it news platforms People getting in trouble gets clicks So that's what it is and then when a person defending themselves Is, you know, somehow considered going against the narrative. So then they don't really cover that so they just sort of

become, you know They get used to take people out. It's fucking gross Anyway, what I don't get is what's the concrete basis of all this shit? Could you define the stages of cancellation for me? The example you brought with norm mcdonald on his multiple hilarious snl bits On oj helped me a lot understanding his being kicked out of the show and also made me discover the guy a lot better Thank you so much for this the guys now Sitting on the top

On my top comedian list. That's awesome Alongside your ginger ass, of course, uh, there's a big gap between the two of us. But thank you. Hopefully you're more than likely real experience with this can shed a light on the subject and do Come to brussels. Don't make me go to london. These fuckers left the union. They don't deserve you also Out of religion and out of therapy Good for you. Now it's time for zen Uh fellow buddhists here won't push His practice any further than this line

I could get into that buddhism. I still need a lot of therapy though You kind of got to work your shit out. I can't just be like, well, you know, I'm not going to worry about what I can't control Zippity doo da zippity day. I dude. I can't explain cancel call. I can't explain it to you I can't tell you that I am a lefty and I am Shocked at what people on the left are doing To other people with no trials or no nothing and it has just gone so fucking beyond So beyond You know the initial

you know Legit dirtbags that they were getting and now now what they do is they try to just You know dig up Some sort of fucking something that can get you cancelled. They literally go out and try and find it Um to get rid of you because they don't not not even because they want to stop whatever they're allegedly even happened If they even fucking happen, they just don't like you and they're using

You know what I mean It's just fucking weird. They go. I I hope somebody got raped so I can get rid of this person It's like wait, wait, you shouldn't be hoping that the fight like it's just It's gone kind of bananas and I think uh, I don't think it's a lot of people that are doing it I just I'm hoping you know, I feel like there's a bunch of people in the middle on the left and the right are just sitting there Waiting for shit to settle down So they can poke their heads out again because everybody's trying to like not get in trouble

And uh, there's got to be a way for the middle the rational people to be like, hey, can everybody just fucking settle down here? Like what are we everybody has a right to have an opinion? Everybody can say, you know You know can chime in just because they don't agree with you doesn't mean you now have to fucking Try to end their ability to uh, you know earn a living I mean does any of that sound crazy? It's fucking It's fucking bananas Anyway, girlfriend wants to paint my toenails. Oh Jesus Yeah, go go fucking buy a doll

Hey, billy one punch. I've been with my girlfriend for about six months now. I'm 32. She's 30. She's great We've been getting along well I've met some of her friends and we both spent many nights at each other's apartments I got a couple of tattoos, but she Has a lot of very big ones and plans for more Uh, she also has gauged ears. I'm imagine that's when you stick like the washer in your ear And a septum piercing That's the nose deviated septum. Yeah, okay. This is all fine and I find her very attractive

I'm just trying to get her Personality across most of her belongings are unique heirlooms or just Out there like decorative animal skulls or gemstones I just want your opinion on this thing. She keeps bringing up. She wants to paint my toenails I said no, she said why not? No one will see Are you so out of touch with your feminine side that you can't get your nails done in a hidden place? Well, that's an easy answer. You just say yes Or you just say, um

Are you so up your ass about what you want to do to me that you can't hear me saying no I would just make a joke out of be like no means no You know You got to give it up to women. I mean, they are just the best manipulators Can I paint your toenails? No. I mean no means no. Isn't that what they say? Why not? No one will see are you so out of touch with your feminine side that you can't get your nails done in a hidden place? Well, you know, I'm not a woman Isn't that a good thing do you want me to have a big feminine side?

Aren't I supposed to balance you out? You know, I mean you want to go to fucking brunch and go get uh, you'll get a fucking Bundt cake. I don't give a shit She goes I like the way she does these odd sort of things, but it makes me feel weird having it done to me I feel I show enough femininity towards her in our texts and snapchats Why do you have to show that towards her? It's because feminists are controlled controlling the narrative and if you don't fucking do shit like this They automatically think you know that means you're a toxic male You know, I don't know

I think she'll respect you more if you just stand your ground and it's just as long as you're being a good guy You're not calling her a cunt and you're taking her out to dinner. Like I don't think that you I don't think that you know, it's You know, she does you know, don't fucking paint my toenails if you don't mind um anyways Does she want me to go through my routines with this paint on so she can think about How I'm being reminded of her. What is she trying to mark me?

Wait, I missed something here. I I like the way she does all these odd sort of things But it makes me feel weird having it done to me. I think you should honor that you should honor that emotion. Just use what they do You know, you're not honoring my feelings. You're not making me feel safe That's what I would do. I would just say you're not making my toes feel safe right now I feel I show enough feminine towards in our text and snapchat. Is she trying to mark me? See that's your paranoid. They'll do all of that. Does she want me to go through my routines? With this paint on she so she can think about how I'm being reminded of her Or am I being too defensive about this whole thing and it's just some fun?

um Listen, it could be fun if that's what you want to do, but if you don't want to do it And then you do this like I don't know. That's just seems like this this new chatter out there That this is a balanced relationship that you as a man Just always do what she wants to do and that shows that you're a strong man and that you're in touch with your feminine side and fuck that Fuck that. All right. If you're a good guy and you're treating her right

Okay, there's going to be some things that she wants to do and you're going to want to do them And then there's going to be some things that she's going to want to do and you're not going to want to do them And that's all right. Let's let me ask you this If you said something to her can I do this and she said no, would you still be fucking asking? You know, maybe she's to get more in touch with her masculinity side Anyway, um She he goes it hasn't happened yet, but she's brought it up a few times Do I go go along with it or shut the idea down for good and see how she takes it?

Thanks and go fuck yourself. I don't think this is about her This is about you. All right, this this A relationship should not make be made a Make a break on this and if this is something you don't want to do then don't fucking do it That's it Yeah Why does she want to do it? And don't even do that because then you're back in the conversation and they'll just fucking wear you down

And then you'll actually have to have that conversation and you know one day when you're in a fight You know, I fucking bring in the trash barrels I pay my half for the mortgage, you know, I let you pay my fucking toenails and your fucking neighbor's head swivel around Um I don't uh Yeah, I I don't think I think that's a very dangerous way That men are starting to think I've noticed with a lot of you younger people writing in

um A woman asks you to do something relationship and you don't want to do it And then you immediately question yourself like wait a minute. Am I being toxic? Am I not being enough in touch with my feminine side? And let me ask you this. Did they ask that question? All right, is there any sort of social pressure for them to ask that question? I guess they have that. Am I pretty enough? Am I tits high enough, you know, I don't know, but don't they kind of put that on themselves. I don't understand What the fuck, you know Most of us are happy if you just bang us, you know, I think that's all it is

I I don't think you should have to go through the fucking the clown makeup on your toes if that's something you want to do but like, uh I'm a big believer that, you know You you roll with most of the shit You know That they want to do because if you don't they're gonna pout and you have to now you got another kid You have to fucking deal with right? So you just go with that shit But then there are certain things you just got to be like, yeah, I'm not doing that Why what are you what are you afraid of?

Uh, I'm not afraid of anything. You just asked me if I wanted to do something. I said no Why is it so difficult for you to hear me? he just It's kind of fun. You just go right back at him like that You know I don't know sometimes I wish I could just fucking remember in ghost Where Patrick Swayze would go into

You know whoopee. I wish I could do that with some of you guys and just fucking have the conversation I could have it done in three minutes I'm not saying when I walked out of you that they wouldn't be a little pissed more pissed than they were three minutes ago But these are really easy fucking Things the hounds are the good exercise and you should go out and go do it So that's it ladies if you're listening if you ask you got to do some shit and he doesn't want to do it Why don't you fucking lay off every once in a while? You know, we're still going to give in to 90% of your bullshit

And I think you know, can't you live with that? All right, it's the holiday season everybody Don't skip over Thanksgiving. That's it. Go fuck yourselves, and I'll check in on you Yeah on thursday