Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 11-28-22

Episode Date: November 29, 2022

Bill rambles about his french lessons, tea, and sky ads. Fight Camp:  Get started with FightCamp for as low as $9 a month, by going to www.FightCamp.com/BURR Aura Frames:  Take advantage of Aura’s Cyber Monday sale and get $50 off their best-selling Carver Mat frames at www.auraframes.com/BURR Roman:  Go to www.Ro.co/BURR today to get 20% off your entire first order

TREETING Hey, what's going on? What's going on everybody I Was just gonna say I'm feeling better It's bill Burr. That was a fucking epic somebody's got to turn that into a ringtone Epic cough. That was a minor cough you know If fucking that what's that fat guy's name Roger something or other the guy who does all of the not really a documentary the op-ed pieces

disguised as The fuck was his name not Roger Ebert. It was Roger and me Michael Moore Michael more if you heard that cough would want to do an interview with me He works at a mine, and they don't pay him right and now they moved it to Mexico And they don't lock their doors in Canada Anyway, what's going on? How are you? Do you have a nice Thanksgiving? I Obviously spent Thanksgiving alone

Believe it or not. I'm on the other side of this cough And I'm actually starting to feel good as long as I don't like you know screaming yell I'm now not like coughing like a maniac, but I've been banished My family doesn't want to see me. I've been in my fucking Room in the garage Thanksgiving my family went somewhere else. I dropped them off. They gave me a fucking tray of food They all wanted me to stay. It was my decision. I'm just being a fucking asshole I got to see you know

Everybody that I love for like five seconds, and then they gave me like a tray And I went back To the house and I watched I watched fucking What the hell did I watch I watched the football game Who did I pick I had the Giants getting ten points that worked out good Do you know what my fucking buddy did to me today? I Got money on the Falcons in the first half. He texts me. Hey your Falcons your Falcons bet is looking good

It's like what the fuck are you doing? Why don't you just tell me my cars running great? Guess what the Falcons end up shit in the bed They're right down there on the fucking goal line. I didn't even see the game, but I imagine that the commanders I Like how they pick commanders so they could still have and chiefs they should call themselves commanders and chiefs You know what I mean? Just to see if they get in trouble again The commanders probably went to a prevent defense gave the Falcons four shot it at the fucking end zone and that they couldn't fucking put it in Actually to win the fucking game because the commanders were nice enough to miss an extra point and it's just fucking

It's just like what would the Falcons be doing if they weren't in charge of their own destiny and then absolutely shitting the bed Like week after week year after fucking year So anyway Yeah, I just been fucking staying home. I haven't done any stand-up. I was like not talking Believe it or not. Oh, my wife wasn't joined the hell out of that. Oh my god She was laughed. She was just coming up to me. She goes. I think you're a fucking douche She's got get in my face was cracking me up and then I would have a coughing fit And she would laugh at me, but she was she's been great making me the hot tea with the fucking lemon and all of that shit

So I feel like I don't know like another couple of days and I should be right as rain whatever the fuck this is this has been a fucking Two and a half. I mean it doesn't help that I'm out there screaming my act for an hour and 20 minutes It's probably not what you want to do when you have a cough You know But that's what I was doing so anyway So that was my Thanksgiving and then I when I was waiting for my family to come home I went in the criterion channel and they had all this 80s horror

And I watched the first half of a movie that I've not seen since it came out on cable like 40 years ago I watched cat people Bunch of great actors in it. It's kind of a slow-moving Movie, but it's got a great soundtrack with David Bowie The fuck the song is something about cats But Yeah, that was my Thanksgiving Thanksgiving, so I hope you guys had a good one. I hope you weren't fucking sick like I was

Something going on out here something going around man. I don't know what it is, but I fucking caught it big time So I'm on the other side of it And that's it, I don't know what else to tell you I haven't been fucking working out can't go to the gym but I'm gonna get back there on Tuesday excited about that and What else do I got going on? Oh, I'll tell you what I did watch I watched that watch the game the Michigan Wolverines first the Ohio State Buckeyes Arguably the biggest rivalry in All of sports at least in America, I think

How far back it goes how much each side fucking hates each other and Michigan looking to win back-to-back years for the first time and I don't know how long and I had a bad feeling going in. I was just like I just feel like Ohio State's gonna get him and I'm watching in the first half Michigan couldn't run the ball How state's defense look great? Initially and I was like, oh, this isn't good, you know, because they're running back star running back got hurt last week And I was going off fucking it just felt like their day and then all of a sudden they just went to the fucking air Because

That was Ohio State's game. They're basically like you're not gonna beat us with the run We're taking away what you do and we were gonna make you play the game that we play Which is more of an I guess an airborne and they throw the ball more I guess I don't I didn't watch how I was think this year And evidently Michigan goes to the air Gets a fucking 75-yard touchdown And then got like a fucking 50-something yards or 40-something yard touchdown and at 35 yard touchdown They burned them three times on long plays even went for it and had a fire I don't think went for but they had a fucking running back to a jump pass if he led the receiver that would have been a touchdown

They just fucking Beat him at their own game and then after the half You know after they got burned on the third fucking pass Ohio State had to start respecting their passing game and then Michigan went to the run and then that was it They just took over the game and just fucking They just you know It's that's a really different Ohio State team. They played really really Undisciplined like that stupid fucking headbutt out of bounds. I did not see Ohio State teams doing that

You know when urban Meyer was there and I'm sure Ohio State fans are bitching about their coach so I feel like he's got one more year to Get those kids to fucking listen to him because They gave Michigan a lot a Lot of stuff and you know as much as they got called for a bunch of pass interference They kind of all were I Think there was one saw there's always a soft one or whatever But I was looking for the makeup call and it never fucking came Michigan just played fucking great. So congratulations to them

Such a great game and then next year's game will be in the big house I went to that game in like 1999 or 2000 long fucking time ago And I didn't even understand how big it was then but Whenever I see the highlights of the game, I'm so fucking psyched That I actually got to go to the game so I don't know hundred thousand Ohio State fans went home not fucking happy and That's why that program is great because

Everybody's getting they're all gonna fucking hear about it and they're gonna have to They're gonna have to fix this thing But congratulations to Michigan I'm a Wolverines fan because I have family out there and everything so I was You know, it was a really fucking Good game through about two and a half quarters As far as kind of going back and forth and like, you know, but I really thought I was stating the first half first by Quarter-and-a-half. I was like, yeah, it feels like dead day. Then all of a sudden I was like, hey, Michigan's kind of hanging around

I'm like, no, they're not gonna take over this game. Are they? I'm just so used to like fucking Losing all of those fucking years. I was urban Meyers. Jesus Christ Hadn't won in Ohio State since the year 2000. So It's a weird rivalry though. If you look up the history of it. It's just like Never seems to go like back and forth back and forth It always just seems like and then Michigan had a great team for seven years and how state had won for ten years These guys nine years. So but I feel like this has been like though I'd have to look it up probably the longest run of

Domination I want to say Michigan's only won one or two times Prior to last year this whole century. So it was a bad fucking. It's a bad time Anyway, but how about this ten minutes in I've only coughed twice And I did go to the doctor and I did finally get some antibiotics So that is that has been good Anyway, it took the kids to go see Santa Claus today I Was a good thing. It's funny. My son was excited to see him until he got close to him and then what's he didn't cry or nothing

He's just like no, no, I don't want to go over there. I don't want to go over there. He sees a fucking riot He's really really funny Like strong like he's really putting together all the words now. We were kind of walking around the mall Like all right, buddy, let's go this way. He's like no no this way and I'm like no We're going this way and he crosses his arm and he goes It starts walking the same way And then his sister when he gets really mad he has a little bit of a temper Wonder where he got that from when he starts flipping out about something

my daughter just literally falls in the ground laughing watching him lose his shit and Of course Nia thinks that's hilarious. I think it's hilarious too, but Nia's laughing at it because she You know Sees my temper and thinks it's ridiculous I just wish it is or whatever. So anyway, I Feel good, you know, I went up and I Pre-flighted the helicopter and everything so I'm gonna go fly tomorrow. Very excited to do that Fucking

Kamala Harris was out here The whole weekend so where I wanted to fly was this big fucking TFR Which is a temporary flight restriction. You can't fly Over a current vice president or president or whatever And you always check those because you don't want to be the jerk off That flies in there on your little weekend fucking warrior flight The next thing you know, you get I wonder what you would get intercepted with with if you're in a helicopter You would think they would send a helicopter up there

That's when you're just like, oh man, they're gonna cut my license in half so But like with all the fucking games and everything, you know the football games College football games the rams game. I think the rams are homeless. I'm not sure Or usc at least at a game and then Kamala Harris is just these big red fucking circles You know in disneyland always has one They somehow slipped that in there. So it's just like Yeah, you know what I don't feel good. Anyway, let's just fucking take the weekend off

But uh tomorrow I'm gonna have a nice flight. Maybe take a buddy up or something like that Um, other than that I played a bunch of drums while I was sick I'm working on uh I'm working on like freeing myself up on the drums the way I I worked on that as a comedian and I didn't know how to do it and I've been going to this guy's website jp buve. I think it's how you say his last name um And he has a couple of fucking a bunch of courses on uh flow mode as he calls it

And uh, he had this one on just a simple lick just Right left kick and moving that Thing around and accents and all that shit and all of a sudden all these rhythms You know playing basically a three against four. I know this is drum nerd shit, but it's fucking exciting to me Um as I try to type in my fucking password here to read some of the questions. Um, oh my god, this fucking guy This fucking guy this lunatic Driver I was taking my kids out Taking my daughter out to go get an ice cream and this fucking lunatic

We're all going like fucking eight miles an hour and this guy comes up on and passes us all on the right Doing like 30 miles an hour 40 miles an hour And he gets in the right turning lane and then cuts back in And uh, we get up to the next light and I'm seeing you know the guy in the fucking passenger seat He has his arm out like you know the windows open like four inches and he's got like a fucking cigarette hanging out and um I was just looking I'm like Jesus fucking christ. Don't you realize It's like they don't they just kids. They don't get it

I'm like this fucking guy The damage he could have done and I'm telling you as a parent like I never knew it because we used to drive like idiots When I was a kid so I can only get so fucking mad It's like you fucking young asshole. How dare you do what the fuck I was doing when I was your age um But like uh You know, it's funny you you turn into a superhero in your murderous fantasies Where I literally got out walked around his car punched through his window and pulled him out of the car

The seat belt just broke. Of course. This is just a fantasy Uh I beat him to a pulp He had a fucking glock in his belt and then I stuck it in the other guy's fucking face And I like that's where my head went What really happened I waited till the light turned green and then I beeped at him and made a right That's basically what happened, you know You know that shit only works in the fucking movies. Um

But that's another reason not to be taking testosterone supplements in your 50s All of these fucking guys in my generation now where they got them all chasing this testosterone It's like you're not like let nature take its course Okay, nature isn't wrong and you're not going to fool nature You're not going to make nature like your body. Oh, wait a minute Am I 18 and you're going to live longer? I I think all of that stuff is fucking Insane and I don't understand why in your 50s you would want to go around with the testosterone of a fucking 21 year old It just it doesn't make sense

Because now you're going to be in your head. You're going to be fucking jason born But you're walking around in your in your 50s and you know what if I was taking that testosterone I would have got out of the car Thinking I could have punched through his window and pulled him on it. I would have got my shit kicked out of me If I can stress anything to young people there's nothing wrong with being old there's nothing wrong with the aging process it's actually Everything is about it is fucking amazing if you just let it happen. I mean, I'm not saying like let yourself go You know sit in the fucking sun bacon without you know any sunblock on and fucking eating a fucking You know goddamn lava cake. I'm not saying that obviously take care of yourself, but like

These fucking weirdos man They lake placid faces. That's what I don't know what lake placid. I was just pictured as like a pristine lake Like they just have like that I don't know what it is I'm shiny face All these shiny face people with their big eyes. I don't know what the they're almost like a new race of people um I don't know

I don't know. They're just they're fucking bizarre people and I I really look at it like a weakness Like when I see somebody But I'm probably wrong because you know what I'm really starting to think, you know My whole idea like you know the way I bitch about the nfl And the prevent defense and how they don't kick field goals and all of that type of shit, you know I was watching Ohio State and Ohio State was playing conservatively and they punted the ball away when I thought they should have And then michigan went for a field goal when I didn't think they should have

Uh, they ended up missing the field goal. I was like, oh my god, you're only up by fucking 10 points They're gonna go down or seven points. They're gonna score a touchdown here. It didn't work against them I think I was watching the lions game though some game. I was watching a pro game on Thanksgiving and everything that I was saying They didn't do and They ended up scoring and they were right so I don't know. I guess it's kind of like I have to accept the fact that Uh, you know, everybody in the nba is just going to be shooting three pointers

Which is I don't know. I find it mind numbingly boring um And then when I go to a game I get livid with the fucking asshole who sits in front of me and every Single time there's a three-pointer has to hold up three fingers put their arm up every single Fucking and the fucking team like takes like 53 pointers. It's not special. They're almost taking one a minute I don't understand it like how come when they take two, you know, you don't put two fingers up Just it's just that dumb shit

You know like when college football teams or whatever they started doing the thing where in the fourth quarter They all just started holding up four fingers You know what I mean? The football players started doing like the fourth quarter is ours and then the crowd started doing it as if they were playing You know like you ever see like, you know, like when a defensive player You know is is nodding vigorously like he wants to fucking contact Have you ever seen some stupid fucking idiot guy in the crowd doing the same thing like nodding? like like

you know Like he's actually down there playing. It's like you're not doing anything You're just in the crowd um I don't know Whatever I'm just getting grumpier every year. What else bothers your grandpa? I'll tell you what bothers me is this week. I just anything with a lot of points. I just took I won my bet. I took the Giants with the points falcons fucking

Didn't do anything and now the Rams are in the process of just fucking shit in the bed goddamn cunts l.a. Rams Score come on come on Ah 20 to 3 you fucking Well, it's 20 to 3. I got 15 and a half points This oh, but there's a lot of time left. I just figured they're gonna just take their foot off the gas and give them a touchdown And they're just not Oh, well

You know, what are you gonna do? Um Anyway, um, I don't know if I mentioned this I did find it fucking If you just really want to see What I'm talking about when I talk about This phony outrage Um You know The new york times does a piece

on How gambling has become sports gambling has become legal Okay, and like anything if you don't fucking, you know, watch yourself it could ruin your life So they want to say how fucking bad this is So the fact that the big four now allowed you to gamble I think at the stadium In all of those fucking sports The new york times decides that they're gonna write a piece about it

And who do they go after do they go after the leagues? You know that are now doing this no they don't they go after a guy who runs a sports website And they make him the bad guy and you know why that is You know why that is? Because they're they're protecting their fucking money if they really gave a fuck about the average person out there falling into fucking, you know A tremendous amount of debt through sports gambling Why wouldn't you cut the head off the snake and come at the nfl? They're not gonna do it because I guarantee you whoever owns the fucking new york times

You know is owned by a conglomerate that owns a bunch of shit and one of them makes money off of one of those four fucking major sports So instead they go after the individual Or it's just the millionth time they've gone after this guy trying to fucking cancel him It's just it's such fucking bullshit. They do that shit all the goddamn time um They go after comedians they don't go after big pharmacy and all of that type of shit They go after fucking an actor They'll go after uh, I don't know a fucking um

Trump supporters and shit like that they never but they never go after the money man They don't go after the fucking money. All right, shut up bill. Okay. All right. I'll shut up whatever um Fucking rams. Can you score a goddamn touchdown you fucking idiots? um, all right, let's go to uh, let's read some of the uh The advertising here for the week and then I'll get into some of the questions here um Oh, I didn't mention I've been watching a couple of french shows. I've really been fucking uh

You know working on my french. I have a tutor now And uh, I'm just gonna do this shit man. I think it's it's really good for your brain I've been we're playing drums playing drums is good for your brain You know, I've been laying off everything else other than coffee But the first 10 days of every month if you haven't been listening I just detox from everything So now I'm not guilty that I'm crushing a fucking, you know, cappuccino and a double espresso It's like back in the day when I used to drink I'd get a beer and a shot like I literally I do those back to back Then I just drink a bunch of waters or whatever and I'm fine and um

You know, it's my little thing, you know, it's what the fuck I do my wife gives me a look and just laughs I'm just like what what else do I do? I don't smoke cigars anymore. I don't I'm like I don't fuck with weed Again, this is all I got. All right. I'm a little fucking My little coffee thing here, right? So anyway, I've been watching um two shows, uh somebody told me, uh Oh, Bianca, uh, christa vow who by the way if you live over in England, she's gonna be doing some shows over there

And if you run any rooms man, she's a great comedian. She's looking for some stage time I believe the beginning of december. Uh, she told me to watch this show called the bureau um Fucking great great show great acting great, um It's basically about a guy Who works for the uh

french CIA or whatever he's coming from being undercover and um You know, he ends up catching feelings for some woman and that's making him You know Behaving a certain way that could be a fucking issue. That's great. And then I went back to the agency Which at first they were speaking too quickly But now it's not as bad and I feel like the agency that they're younger people so they're kind of talking

The way I would hear french people talking when I go over there again the next time but um I don't know. I'm really like Fucking locked in on this shit, man. Like I do though that that pimps are french Uh, I write out all the stuff and then I after I'm done writing it out at the end of the lesson I put it on like flash cards. I've been working on that now. I got a tutor. So who knows man. I might be old billy bilingual You know, I think I think it's going to take about 18 months. So Whatever, I'm just going to keep doing it and see what happens. But check out the bureau that's on uh amazon and the agency

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Thing it's it's ro.co slash burr Sorry when I copied and pasted the uh the first Um subject tea Um, this is somebody that's going to give me shit about drinking coffee You guys are so judgmental Um tea dear billy coffee queen. I'm a tea fanatic I never got into tea Yeah

It's like cbd of coffee I buy loose leaf tea and steep it in a steel steeping ball This is for the fucking dr. Seuss right in I buy loose leaf tea and steep it in a steel steeping ball Would you could you in a steeping steeping ball? I would not could not in a steeping steel steeping ball You can get them cheap anywhere. I think you might like the tea world if you get sick of coffee. All right That's why I did say I was sick of it Um, and then I took a few weeks off and then I came back

There are a lot of different types of tea you can order from around the world and most are better than store-bought bags Uh, not that store-bought tea is bad. Just so you can level up a bit from there. All right. Well, I'm interested Coffee and tea is like the difference between smoke and a cigar and a pipe. I feel Like I feel like uh pipe smokers get all that different flavored tobacco and all that um It seems cool. Anyway, also brewing your own iced tea is a is great when you get into flavors and varieties You like spice teas are good for the holidays

All right My wife likes tea I don't know something about it. It just seems really effeminate to drink tea Um I don't know. Maybe I'm not secure enough in my manner to start drinking tea. Do I got to stick my finger out when I do it? Um, I'll try it. All right. Can you give me some suggestions? Um, anyway, you need protein Oh, I like this fucking person. Okay. Here we go. Now. What am I doing wrong? I need protein. How the fuck do you know what I need?

um, all right Let's take a swig of water here while I wait to fucking you at this person. I say you need protein Dear billy burr longtime fan recently Started binging your podcast funny guy Love it when Nia's on you two are hilarious. I love it when Nia's on She's a busy little so-and-so Um, I wish she was on here more. Um, I heard you talk recently about your breakfast and getting into shape and whatnot

And espresso and an orange Really? Yeah, really. I'm on the fucking road you asshole And I'm playing all these fucking middle of fucking nowhere towns. They don't have healthy food, but by all means you fucking judge me Um, do you realize that as a man in his fifties? Which I am as well that you need at least 1.6 grams of protein per kilo of body weight to ensure you maintain proper muscle density Let me ask you this. Do you know that? You don't know that you just read that and now you're puking it back to me

One kilo equals 2.2 pounds So that would be roughly 0.7 ounces per pound for you americans down there I weigh about 185 pounds So I need about 130 grams max of protein per day sounds nuts, but that's that Even if you hit 70 percent, it's better than most Lean meats are great like chicken fish and turkey. Oh, are those great? How do you know they're great? What do you even know you don't even know what the fuck is in what you're reading neither?

Well, maybe you do in canada. I don't down here sir I live in the united states of america our food is fucking poison The fda was infiltrated by everyone that it was supposed to be watching and they just pass it They feed cows to cows There's fucking man-made salmon sitting in fucking maggots or whatever the hell that I don't even know what I'm eating And if you can somehow go online and sift through all the misinformation about what the fuck you need and what you don't need You're a better person than me All right, but I don't need you brow beating me the fact that i'm on the fucking road and I don't go downstairs

To a fucking waffle maker every morning for the continental breakfast All right, there is something to be said too about giving your digestive system a little fucking break You know, I a nice light breakfast. You don't know what I eat the rest of the day I eat a lot of salads when I'm out there. I'm doing all right. Okay Jesus christ. I'm fucking halfway through my 50s. I'm on my way to my 60s. I'm still not a fat fuck I think I know what I'm doing You know, but you read a bunch you really at 1.6 grams of fucking Are you a personal trainer?

Anyway, you get exactly zero protein with your current breakfast And it's the most important meal of the day said just about everyone ever Oh, Jesus christ I'm not listening to a protein shake for breakfast would do you well Simple and easy. How do you know? How do you eat a protein shake? Oh that little fucking scuba chemicals. What what is that? What the fuck is that? What is it if you have a looking on the back of that half of the shit in GNC, I can't pronounce any of it I've seen absolutely jacked

Shredded people on the internet that are vegetarians And they say they get all their protein out of fucking plants Okay, and then you go on the internet and it says the exact opposite. So I don't know what to think all I know Is eating a grand slam fucking breakfast and baking and all of that shit, you know, I don't know everybody I like I have friends that ate like that and are dead now All right, so I I like a nice little light breakfast You know

No sugar no salt. It doesn't get me freaked out either fucking way You know, I like the caffeine. It's sort of uh, uh, you know It doesn't fucking Make me crave other things and then around lunchtime. I have a nice big salad With a protein. I think I'm all right You know, I actually, you know, I'm in really good shape Okay, I mean I haven't worked out the last three weeks, but you know, I was up to like doing like a fucking two and a half minute plank

At 54 and a half fucking years of age. You find me another 54 year old The average 54 year old they're not doing that shit. All right Fucking sit here judging my goddamn breakfast Unbelievable Keep them laughing and eat a chicken breast for god's sake. Why don't you look up what the fuck and the chickens down here? They don't have beaks and they pump the chicken breasts full of fucking steroids. They can't even stand up. They do face plants Living in their own shit. I mean, that's the average chicken down here um

I don't know I like eating veggie I really do if you can get an organic and that type of stuff After you've done eating that you don't feel full You're hungry like two hours later because your body's able to digest it easily and you fucking you got this crazy energy You know, I don't know Like I'm always gonna still eat steak and that type of stuff, but I'll tell you this if I was like fucking 60 percent Veg uh vegan or whatever, you know

those fucking people live forever and uh I don't know I don't know. I don't know, but I will tell you this. I appreciate it. I know that that was coming from a good place But like I'm not going to just take random nutritional fucking Advice I don't even know what the what the fuck you do for a living

Do you realize that as a man in his 50s that you need at least like what what did you get that information? What the fuck did all of these fucking guys now? I don't know. I like they like my whole generation now I'm you know, I've been doing a bit about this. I see these guys like they're taking before and after fucking photos Uh, uh Of them like having a dad bod and then they're shredded in their 50s. It's like dude. You're on steroids You're on HGH. There's no way to do that at my age naturally and it's okay Like what are you trying? I don't understand. What is that? What the fuck are you trying to do? You know

You're gonna go out there and try to bang a 25 year old You know, I talked to a 25 year old I talked to a 30 year old they sound like a fucking child I don't understand these people are fucking weirdos, man. I think they're fucking weirdos You know Just fucking eat healthy Keep your fucking shirt on You're old no one wants to see that Okay, go get yourself a fucking sport coat

And act your goddamn age Fucking 55 years old trying to look like a backup dancer in the 80s. Um, anyway, um night sky ads Hey, billy twinkle dick Oh Sorry, oh my god, I love that Um, hey billy twinkle dick, uh, I've maintained that looking up Is the only direction that doesn't have any distractions Uh, well that might be out of the cards soon too. I saw an article about speculative business prod to

Project ads onto the night sky in certain areas of the city Are you kidding me? Like what what I'm fucking but like the the fucking chasing of a dollar That these fucking people do I swear to god, man At some point there's gonna be a revolution and I think everybody Like every fucking sociopath money driven fucking lunatic That works for a corporation should be dragged out lined up in front of a mass grave and just shot and we should just fucking start over again

Like this whole fucking mentality that there's just you can never make enough money It's never enough. You can never have enough stuff, you know That whole fucking idea Of just fucking work and work and work and work and work so you have a bunch of fucking stuff Is so stupid Can you imagine the soulless people that sat in a fucking room? And came up with that idea To just project ads now people can't even enjoy like a fucking

You already can't see the stars because of the glow of the city and now you're gonna fucking put ads up there Um And I'll tell you this nobody wants that Nobody wants that but all of the politicians are grossly underpaid And the ad revenue people are just gonna grease their fucking palms and they'll say how oh, this is gonna be great It'll raise a lot of tax revenue And da da da da and they'll just ignore the fact that the reason we have to keep selling our souls Is because we're all under the thumb of the fucking Ponzi scheme that is our fucking economy

It's just like and they just never address it. They just keep playing the fucking game Anyway, instead of seeing the naked sky You'd see an advertisement for coke Aren't they selling enough coke who doesn't like coke a giant bottle pouring in the sky. It's pretty fucked up Maybe once a year for Christmas or the fourth Otherwise fuck that. Yeah, I remember when they first started having tv screens in fucking taxis cabs And everyone in new york was like, we don't want this. They were fucking stabbing them in that shit They went away

And then they came back like a year later and now they're just there There's gas stations out here where you pump and gas and they just blast this fucking They just attack you with this fucking Advertising It's just fucking There's like there's no like peace Um I'm telling you like they're they're really gonna they're really fucking with people

Um People need solitude. They need quiet. They need a time to reflect And this whole fucking thing of these corporate lunatics That they're just gonna barrage You know you with this advertising and you're gonna listen to it whether you fucking like it or not Is I don't know there's gonna be a breaking point to this. I hope um I mean I find like I can't even go to a fucking NFL game anymore

like just the the fucking The just the sheer volume And it's not even the crowd the crowd. They just got these fucking speakers And like who is this fucking idiot asking me if I'm ready every fucking five seconds Are you ready? And then they just they pump crowd noise in over the crowd's just sitting there not doing anything It's fucking bizarre. I know I know this this podcast eventually is just gonna be be me complaining About every fucking thing that has changed since I was a kid. Anyway girl says I should know how to please her

I Hey bill been seeing this girl for a few months now I'll skip to the nuts and beans of the story during a conversation about sex not during sex I asked her a basic question about what she likes during sex A conversation she initiated. I'll add she got annoyed and said I should know what she likes during sex I was speechless and the conversations changed. I spent days thinking about this. Is she she's out of her mind, right? Yes She is out of her mind. I don't think she's out of her mind. She might not be comfortable

With saying, you know, what she wants But that that I find That is uh Females have that thing like, you know when they get mad at you, but they don't you don't even know they're mad at you And then they get mad because you don't notice that they're mad And it's like why didn't you say something? It's like, you know, you didn't notice that I was Sitting here with my fucking, you know looking out the window It's like I thought you were looking out the window

listen Here's something You don't have to put up with that shit. You don't have to get in a argument with her Okay, you don't have to be fucking mean about it. I would just be like You know, I would, you know, have the conversation again, just just I would revisit just say listen, you know I only brought that up or you brought it up actually But like I'm just interested because I care about you and I want you to be enjoying having sex with me but, um

I don't know if you noticed I don't work at a carnival as a mind reader. So I mean don't say shit like that. You know what I mean? I don't know how old you guys are um, but like that's I don't know. I'm guessing she's more uncomfortable about talking about it, but she's just like But if that's like her attitude in general that you should just know and you should like figure it out like, um, she's this giant mystery and fascinating person like I can tell you that uh personally that would get old quick for me That's not an adult an adult like communicates And uh, you know like me, you know

How good I am at communicating, you know screaming and yelling and having murder fantasies Um murderous fantasies I should say All right, deleted all my apps Hey bill, I deleted all the social media apps off my phone I only use it for email phone and text. It's a different world bill I still use it for music, but no youtube. That's amazing Um, my job doesn't require me to get more than five or six emails a month So I don't need to monitor that as well. I'm two months sober

I'm sharing this because you've talked about how addicted they are. Have you tried this one of the trick Is to always have a book with you I've read three books since the start of october If I go to reach for my phone, I reach for the book. It becomes an addictive escape. Well, Jesus christ I'll light at the end of the tunnel That was amazing. Well, if I wasn't in the business that I'm in, uh, I don't I wouldn't be on social media um

I think I would still be on youtube and then I'm I'm on every Streaming platform to watch movies. I'm sort of addicted I like watching movies about cars or that have cool cars in them old police cars and shit like that and um You know, that's the genre That I like I like watching movies from the 1960s in 70s and I just like looking at the cars

and you know The clothes and the music and the style and all of that shit. I don't know why but That shit will never get old to me um Like there's a few things that I follow of like they'll show shit Someone will have like video of like the 101 highway In the 70s and I just look at all the cars and I try to name all of them and then I get fascinated to

with the mix of cars You know Where we try to do that on efforts for family where I was just like, okay This takes place in the early 70s in the early 70s every car wasn't from the early 70s because that would mean everybody Had the money to buy a new car that year. That's not how it worked people drove New cars all the way to cars like 10 years old um People in that were in high school in the early 70s

Maybe even drove a car from the 1950s, which wasn't considered a classic It was just considered a piece of shit out of style car um Which is funny because I follow this thing on instagram That it's like some like old school muscle cars or something and it's all like these polaroid pictures Of guys with their modified muscle cars From the 60s that did them in the 70s back when they would jack up the back end and put the slicks on the back You know more rubber on the road more traction or whatever

Like they would take him down the drag strip and everything that they were doing to those cars was lessening the value of them um, which was hilarious because To them they were just fucking Cars that were seven and eight years old now. They're like classics. So I find that like fascinating like, um What's his face uh, james taylor and uh Dennis wilson the drummer for the beach boys did a movie called Tulane black top or something like that

And what was funny was they were going from town to town and how they were making their money Was they were having drag races with people And the car that they drove around in I believe was a 55 chevy bel-air And it was just like primer body You know everything just pulled out of it, you know to race cars. So they don't want to have any extra weight in it Um did have a passenger seat in it or whatever But like I was looking at the that thing going like these guys are just like beating the fuck out of that car pulled out the original engine stuck something else in there

And uh, if they just left that car all original and hung on to it for a little while They could have made way more money Than they were in that movie, you know as those characters drag racing the car. So I find all of that shit Like fascinating I like being on like That part of the internet But uh I kind of have to be on social media because of uh the business I'm in but I think that's great that you're reading like books and stuff like that That's why I'm kind of like

You know, I've been taking these drum lessons. I'm gonna take this these french lessons too because I'm trying to combat Because I'm 100 addicted to my phone And staring at it and like, you know, I'll be out with my wife and she'll be all right No phones in the meal and I just feel myself like Just like not even thinking and just grabbing for my fucking phone. So um I think that's great that you're doing that and that's something to aspire to To be reading more. Um

There's actually a comedian, uh, Todd Parker that wrote this really fucking good book um Of course, I can't remember the fucking name of it right now, but he's gonna come on the podcast and promote it But I started reading it. I was really enjoying it when I was on the road And then I forgot to take it on the road and I kind of got out of that habit of like reading So I'm gonna bring it on this next trip that I have So when Todd comes on the podcast, uh, hilarious comic by the way and he actually The first time I ever did stand up

It was a contest at nick's comedy stop And he was one of the judges so he saw me the first time I ever did stand up um So that's always like a running joke that he didn't vote for me as the best one or whatever um But he's a really just a great guy and a really talented guy. So I'm gonna you know And it's a fun read. So I should get back into that. So I think that's cool. You know, I'm doing like that 10 day detox From like all like stimulants and everything like maybe, uh

You know, I should monitor my, uh Social media use or something like that. I have no idea I don't know But instagram's fun though because I like looking shit up like I I'll tell you the fucking truck i'm in love with right now Is the ford f450 regular cab You know the duly with the pickup back end. I mean that is just the one of the sickest fucking trucks I've ever seen and um

You know It's getting close my f250 is gonna be here soon, man I can't believe it That's gonna be great, uh Cruising around that fucking thing Big fucking goofball that I am. Anyway, that's the podcast. Let's check in on the ram score. Come on you fucking Come on chiefs. Go into the prevent Go into the prevent take fucking

Take what's his face. There you go. There you go ram score to touchdown Ram score to touchdown seven 29 left All right I don't like that kc is still gonna fucking play, but I feel like at the end of the game They're gonna go into a prevent and the rams are gonna cover That's what I think let's see what about my saints when the saints go marching in Oh when them saints go Ah

Fuck they getting killed 13 to nothing I got them getting nine and a half My theory this week was any spread north of eight and a half Like the odds of the other team covering because they go into the prevent and give the other team a touchdown at the end of the game Which still could happen We shall see I'm one and one at this point So I need the saints to cover nine and a half and I'm getting like 15 or 15 and a half with the fucking rams So right now they're only down by 10

So that's good right I'm still still up five and a half. We'll see. All right. That's it everybody Um, oh billy's back And he's redder than ever Go fuck yourselves and I'll check in on you on thursday