Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 11-8-21

Episode Date: November 8, 2021

Bill rambles about San Jose, 'Indians' vs 'Native Americans', and the south.

Hey, what's going on is Bill Burr and it's time for the Monday Morning Podcast for Monday, November 7th, 2021. What's going on, how are you? How's it going in your world, man? You having a good time? What the fuck is wrong with these headphones? Oh, I see what I did wrong. I see what I did. I see what I did. How about now? Oh, there it is. Oh my God, that's amazing. Didn't have the whole fucking thing plugged in. Jesus Christ. Is that an Omen? Omen? Omen? Usually, I would stop at this point because I'm only like a fucking 40 seconds into this thing, but you know something? I got shit to do, man. Right? I am currently in San Jose, Cruz, San Jose, California, and I still have one more show to do here. I had

a great time up here in San Jose. I stayed out in their area there that it's sort of like they just decided to build their own rodeo drive. It's really bizarre because like across the street, diagonally, there's like one of the most fucked up CVS's I've ever been in. I'm not shitin' on CVS. I've never really been in a fucked up CVS. They're all kind of the same. This one, you know, is like a barn find where it's just original paint, you know, all original floor tiles, original shit that they sent to the store. I mean, the fucking shells were bare. I mean, there was, there was a, didn't feel like a CVS, you know what I mean? You know, when you're sort of going into the ripoff chain of the

chain you want to go to, that's what it felt like. Didn't feel like a Rite Aid or a Dwayne Reed. Didn't feel like a mom-and-pop one. It's just whatever fucking CVS bought, I don't think that they remodeled this one yet. But then like right around the corner, they have like this, you know, this whole little fucking area, you know, those areas where people have a certain fucking, you know, they're just bored and they need to buy the nicest version of dumb shit. You know what I mean? It's like, you can go to fucking CVS and buy some nail clippers for like, I don't, I mean, what are they, what do they cost? I have no fucking idea. I feel like George Bush's senior when he did not know what a dozen eggs cost. I just don't know because I don't pay

attention. Like I don't get, like I just walk up and the lady just goes, and I go, okay, can I just stick my card in? I can't. The amount of times that I'm just not listening, whatever, say like nail clippers, we'll say they're what they're like, I don't know, a couple of bucks, three bucks. You know, this is the kind of area where they would actually have $50 nail clippers or some dumb shit like that. They have a patisserie, which was actually nice. I will give them that. It's nice. It's just that with my mask on and their mask on and the sound of the refrigerator, we couldn't hear each other. And I was ordering, you know, I was like, can I get some oatmeal? He's like, what? I got some oatmeal. I got some oatmeal. And then I finally just,

you know, she said, we don't have oatmeal. And then I panicked because there's people behind me. And I just said, all right, let me just get the quiche. She's like vegetable or bacon and cheese. I said vegetable. I'm sorry, I said bacon and cheese. And she goes, okay, and then she brought me vegetable. And my dumb ass, I ate half the quiche before I was like, there's no fucking bacon in here. This is called killing a day. And then there was like two or three Ferraris that just kept circling the block, which after a while, I just became convinced that this whole little rodeo area, they rent them. And their job is to drive around the block. So people think that they're in this, I don't know what, this oasis of Illuminati people. Those super cars are fucking

hilarious though. Park them in front of the hotel and all these people gather around, they take pictures of them and shit. I don't know, you got to have a certain personality to drive that car, huh? Just who the fuck wants everybody looking at him all the time. Listen to me. I only do it for an hour a night. And then I just I slip off into the darkness. I go right out the back of the theater like a fucking rat, I get in a car and I leave. And that's it. And that's what the fuck I'm doing tonight. That is what I'm doing tonight. Oh, freckles, I'm getting right in the car and I'm fucking driving home. I was gonna fly back, but I miss my wife and kids too much. And it'd be kind of fun if I get home in the middle of the night. And my daughter wakes up because she didn't

think I was coming home, wake up and make her pancakes or something like that, like fucking Joe Pesci and casino. This character, I should say. So I'm going to be doing that tonight. We drove over from Reno. And there's no way to be in Reno and not think about Lake Tahoe. And there's no way to think about Lake Tahoe and not think about the Godfather part two, you know, and thinking about Fredo going out there to go fish and getting fucking shot in the head. And Michael Corey on hanging his head down classic, classic goddamn scene. But I was psyched. I was able to take Dean Delray was over here. And I've been telling you about this place for a long time. Bizarre Guitar and Gun Shop out there in Reno. And I took him over there. Got all these amazing guns. And then

they down downstairs at the fucking music store, they got this unbelievable collection of guitars and all this shit. And Dean was just losing his mind. He was going like, dude, look at that Marshall stack. The all red. Are you kidding me? This Marshall stack from the 80s, like literally, you could play the fucking Worcester Centrum or the Providence Providence Civic Center. Sorry, those are the ones that I grew up in the Boston Garden or Madison Square Garden with this fucking stack. They had two giant ones and they were red. And Dean had never seen them in red. I guess I never saw him in red either. I thought Eddie Van Halen's were like that matched his guitar. I have no idea. But he saw him and he fucking freaked out. And then we just had nothing but great

shows. Nothing but great shows the whole week to Friday to Saturday. And now I got one tonight. I'm going to go up there. I love one show after doing two shows a night for a couple of nights. And you have one show. It's like having a half day of school. Remember that? Is anything better than the half day of fucking school? It was so stupid that we all showed up, but it was just great to be there and be excited with every other kid. We got a half day. We got to have we can get the we're getting the fuck out of here at noon. Now what time was a school for nine to three when you were a little kid, you'd have a half a day because there was a teacher's meeting. And even the teachers were excited because they weren't going. They weren't going to the meeting. You know,

I'm sure there was the one that did or the two that did. And then the next day in the teacher's lounge, you know, gave him dirty looks. Didn't see yet the meeting, you know. Here you are always complaining that there's not enough number two pencils and vanilla fucking legal pads. You know, where were you at the meeting? You just come in here to smoke your cigarettes. Is that what it is? So anyway, I'm in San Jose and I was going over to the CVS because you're free. I'm forever like running out of fucking toothpaste or vitamins or fucking or me because I'm going to a football game. I went to the 49ers Cardinals game and I had to get earplugs because the fucking game, the goddamn scoreboards are so fucking loud now. I feel like I'm at a concert and my ears ring loud

enough. Thank you very much, right? So we go over there and he somehow brings up the Winchester mystery house because you ever been to that dude? It's red. I'm like, no, I haven't. What is it? And he starts describing it and my brain went back 40 years ago and holy shit. I remember hearing about that house. Anyways, this is his house out here. This woman, Sarah Winchester, who was married to William Wirt, W-I-R-T, William Wirt Winchester of the Winchester rifle fame, the rifle that, you know, how the West was won. That was the gun that was fucking used. So they were living in Connecticut. They were making all this fucking money and then the guy dies. And I don't know, I sort of breezed over it. The big fucking thing was she bought this house,

right? And she was convinced that it was haunted by all the people that had been killed by the rifle that her husband had invented and that they made all the money off of. So for some reason, she went to some psychic or some shit and the guy told her, they were in Connecticut saying, you need to move out West, buy a house and keep fucking building on it to keep these fucking ghosts at bay. And she did and she built like staircases that led to nowhere. I had no idea the house was that big. It was like 160 fucking rooms. We tried to go in. We just didn't have time because we were going to the game. And I remember seeing a story on this house on one of those PM magazines, you know, they get like a white guy and a white woman, you know, the guy would wear like a sweater.

She had like fucking pleated pants, the fucking early 80s, right? And, you know, she'd have like the Lady Diana haircut. And then he'd have sort of the fucking Grant Goodeve from eight is enough haircut. They all had this, they all looked the fucking same, right? And they did a thing on this. And they made it seem like she was just talking about, you know, ranchers shooting fucking horse wrestlers and fucking, you know, okay, Corral and Billy the Kid, Jesse James shit. And, you know, since being out here and I just started, I don't know, I was looking up the 49ers and I was like, what exactly, what was the gold rush and all of that type of shit and just reading up like, holy fucking shit. Wow. Yeah, so I came up, I talked about this like there was like a genocide out here.

Oh, I did talk about this of Indians, right? People wanted to, you know, went into pan for gold. And it was really inconvenient to these people who came out here when they were staking their claim that there was already other people here. And they would kill them and enslave them and take their kids away from them, just fucking horrific shit. And it's just funny today. I'm like going to a football game. And, you know, the cheerleaders are called the, you know, keep it going for the gold rush dancers. And they got this dumb mascot, you know, doing like the 49ers dressed like a minor. I'm like, Jesus Christ, like how soon before fucking woke culture comes for that one fucking NFL, man,

they're going to have to change after goddamn thing cardinals. Somehow they'll relate that to the Catholic church. They'd be like, are you advocating the rape of children? All right, fuck it. We'll call them the sparrows. Anyway, so I was standing outside that house and I was thinking like, wait a minute, so was she not really, we're necessarily talking about, you know, white people shooting other white people, you know, sort of the sheriff going after the, you know, the guy in the black hat or whatever. Was she actually thinking about what was going on, you know, out West? Or I guess everywhere. And, you know, it's always interesting, you know, when you read about shit like that, because it kind of make it seem like because it was

happening, nobody paid attention or nobody cared. So anyway, so I was thinking, okay, I thought they lived out here and the shit was going on and she felt so guilty. She built the house, but she was actually living in Connecticut. This fucking car salesman psychic told her, oh, what you got to do is move out West, get a house, just keep building. So anyway, if you're in San Jose, the, the, the Winchester Mystery House, you should definitely check it out. It ain't cheap. It's 41 bucks, you know, per adult. But if you see how big the fucking place is, I'm sure the, the upkeep, just vacuuming it alone, it's got to be crazy, right? And it's right next to their little phony, the Soto Sopa fucking rodeo drive. And I know I use

that reference all the time now, and I don't give a fuck because I want everybody to see that South Park episode on gentrification, but telling everyone about that. So anyway, let's get to the football today. I went to Levi Stadium, Levi jeans, basically stadium. And it was kind of funny. They're going, are you going to be in the 501 luxury box? I was up there with Al Madrigal's fucking, I'm like, no, I'm going to be on the butterfly terrace right next to the acid wash men's room, right? But I got to tell you something, man, I loved the fucking stadium. When I pulled up to it at first, I was like, this looks like a fucking old roller coaster. Like this looks like an old stadium in a way inside. It doesn't look like that,

but on the outside, the way they built it, this looks like an old stadium. And my buddy was telling me, he said, no, man, they built this stadium to be like efficient and make sure that they can pay the fucking thing off. And he said that that stadium down there that the charges and the Rams are in is like a fucking, you know, $60 billion vanity project, and they're never going to make money off of it, which I thought was interesting. It was like, well, why the fuck would they build something knowing they weren't going to make money off of it? It's like, oh, that's right, because it's all our money being loaned out. And then these rich cunts getting fucking interest off of it and getting greased and all of that was really interesting.

The confusing thing about the stadium is like, I was just so psyched, it was like a perfect day for football. It was really sunny and everything. But that fucking stadium must get cold as shit. I was thinking like, oh, this is great. We're inland. We're towards San Jose. The weather is perfect. It's beautiful. We were just standing out on the terrace and it wasn't even like a little gust or anything. It was just a steady stream of air. You felt like you were right on the water. These people out here, they're so used to it. The amount of people I saw at the game in like shorts and a tank top, and they were sitting in the shade on the side that we were sitting on, sitting on the home side. Dean was making fun of me because I had my sweatshirt

and my leather jacket. It's just like, dude, I'm not catching a fucking cold. I always overdress if I'm going to go to a game because you can always take layers off. I'm not going to be the guy showing up dressed like fucking Richard Simmons and all of a sudden he gets cold out and I'm sitting there. My candy striped shorts and I got nothing to do there. Speaking of Richard Simmons, man, that guy like fucking, he crushed it. He made all his money and when he was done, he just left. He just fucking left and he did it in such a fucking way. People were like worried like something was happening with them that somebody was like holding them hostage and controlling his money. He was just like, nah, man, I'm good. I'm good. I'm done. No more sweating to

the oldies. I saved. He really showed you the whole time his career was going. You could see how much money he was saving because he wore those shorts for like fucking 40 years. I mean, they literally stopped making those shorts, the candy striped shorts. I'm trying to think. I mean, they, you know, sort of skanky chicks when I was in junior high and high school, wore those things, you know, early 80s or something. So he kept the same wardrobe. It was brilliant. I think Michael Jackson was doing the same thing. Like he just kept those fucking loafers and socks forever because he blew his money on it. You know, fucking monkeys and fucking iron lungs to sleep in or whatever the hell he did. I'm sorry, people. My brain is all over

the place right now. Let's get back to the game. All right. I got to do a fucking show after this too. Jesus. Oh, Jesus. The 49ers stadium. Yeah. So I really liked it and their fans are fucking hardcore. It was funny. Dean was going like, yeah, this is going to be the wine and cheese crowd. You know, as opposed to rate of fans with, you know, there are a bunch of animals or whatever. And I went to the game. I was like, this is not a wine and cheese crowd. Everybody here looks like they can beat the fuck out of me. But they were super passionate. And I got to tell you something, man, not only great fans in a great stadium, which I said, I fucking loved it. You know, the parking sucks, but there is a train that comes right up and you can also Uber to the game.

You know, the reality is no stadium has good parking. They have enough parking. It's not good, you know, unless you leave it half time, then it's fine. But anyway, I would say in the NFL, the San Francisco 49ers, when they wear the gold pants in the Oakland Raiders, when they have the white with the silver number, those are the two best uniforms, arguably in sports. They're just iconic. They haven't changed them. 49ers fucked with it a little bit, you know, and they had those stupid white pants that really just ruined the fucking uniform. Thank God they went back to the gold pants, but I still got it. I still got to give the edge to the Raiders though. As far as the logo, come on, you can't fuck with

that logo. That was literally that like, like the Raiders should have sued Star Wars, like Darth Vader, you know, that was totally their vibe or whatever. I feel like Darth Vader is like just a derivative of the fucking Raiders logo. I don't know. Maybe I'm nuts who the fuck knows. I got to work out in all three days. Oh, fucking Billy two step here. Finally getting this fucking COVID weight off two pounds a week, something that an old man like me can handle. I'm throwing the weights around. I'm getting my late 80s fucking body back pencil, thin fucking legs with a little V shape up top. That's how you did it. You know, everybody in the 80s that worked out looked like that fucking guy in the the Incredibles. Everybody just had these massive fucking upper bodies and just walking

around with you little fucking your bird legs. I don't know. I'm trying with my legs. I don't give a shit how I never miss a leg day, right? That's not not that's not true. I miss leg day, but I don't always miss leg day. But when I do, no, I don't miss leg day, but I just can't they don't get any bigger. It just it is what it is. And this is how you end up doing HGH or if you're a woman, how you end up getting fucking, you know, your ass fat extracted, you know, like you're based in a turkey and fucking shot into your lips. At some point, you just got to fucking accept like, Hey, you know, I just don't have I didn't get those jeans. You know what I mean? I mean, fucking is what it is. Like why would you know, you're going to sit there and become obese

with goddamn fat is just beyond me, not fat with fucking muscle. So I was thinking of that too, right? Like you fucking, even when you're putting on muscle, that's you're still adding mass to your body, which means your body then has to grow capillaries, which means your heart has to pump blood through those capillaries, right? So you still make it work harder. You know, it's a that's probably a stupid question. But to me, I think it's interesting. Let me see this is too much muscle is unhealthy is too much fat is too much. Well, it's probably let's just say it's too much muscle unhealthy. It's got to be you're obese with muscle. Well, muscle is never unhealthy. And you can't have too much of it.

It's fine to strive for more reasonable goals. Alright, that's not answering. I mean, let's see here, aka hgh. The health risks of human growth hormone. Alright, can you imagine if I took that shit, right? And I got jacked, but my head got even bigger. God, I only could get working horror movies. How long do I got to be in the makeup chair? Bill, we were kind of thinking you could just come down to set. You might think Ted Cassidy, the actor, I don't want to start naming names here. Oh, who played the Butler Lurch on the Adams family was tall. But Richard Keele, also known as the steel tooth jaws and James Bond franchise was even taller. What the fuck does this have to do with human growth? Oh, because both of those actors had acromegaly, the pituitary gland in

their brain releases too much human growth hormone. Often this is caused by a benign tumor of the pituitary gland. Bone growth from this hormone gave these performers extraordinary height, as well as enlarged hands, feet, and facial features. So this is what people take. I wonder if they started like working out back then if they just become like these adonises. But complications from acromegaly, acromegaly included arthritis, sleep apnea, diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, and often premature death. Both Ted Cassidy and Andre Rene Rosamoff died at age 46 from cardiac complications related to that. Yeah, because your heart doesn't grow, right? Your heart's still the same size. Everybody gets

the same size heart. Human growth hormone has a vital role in our growth and health, but abuse can cause permanent health issues and shorten your lifespan. Sometimes too much of a good thing can be bad for you. What is human growth hormone? Jesus Christ, can you just answer the fucking question? Human growth hormone is a peptide. Oh, good. So that's what a peptide is, like the proteins that make our hair, nails, muscles, and skin. A peptide is a chain of amino acids. Okay, good. They explained it to me. There's no reason to lose your temper, Bill. Peptides are shorter than proteins, which means they degrade and digest more quickly. Human growth hormone doesn't promote growth directly.

Instead, it encourages the liver to release insulin-like growth factor, which thickens and elongates bones. All right, so you can get taller doing this shit? All right. You know something? I'm going to walk away from that. Like, that's one of those things where I'm just so fucking dumb. All I'm going to walk away from that is just more questions. Well, that's the fun part of learning. No, it isn't. Not if you don't want to learn and you want it to end. The amount of shit in my life that I have done, that I have just been counting down, I just want it to end. When does it end? Like, what percentage of your life? I think that is like,

you know, it's a good benchmark of whether or not you like your life, or you had a good life and you enjoyed it by how much time you spent staring at a clock. I know my entire school fucking scholastic career, I just fucking and just kept looking at how the fuck is it only 10, 20? Oh my God, I hate this class. What do you mean I got to do a paper? I don't do a fucking paper, you know? A lot of times I sat staring at a fucking watch hoping a flight was going to be over. The amount of time I've run my yap on a podcast and completely forgot what the fuck my point was and what I was talking about. I mean, it's just, it's incredible. It just goes on and on and on.

I think my point is that I'm trying to jam a fucking podcast in before driving home tonight, even after daylight savings, not daylight savings, the regular time. We went back to regular time, which I gotta tell you, I fucking slept great last night, you know, getting that extra, that little bit of extra in there was fucking amazing. And then I went down to the gym, which was right next door to my room. I true to weights around. This younger kid comes in, right? And he comes over, all they had was one bench and there was nobody in there, you know, the typical hotel gym, you know, a couple of ellipticals, a couple of treadmills, a couple of, you know, dumbbells, and then just a whole fucking universal station,

right? So I'm over in the corner, minding my own business. And this fucking kid comes in and, you know, he opens up the door to get some air in there. You know, that personally, they come in there and it's just like, you know, they'll change the TV. They just start doing shit, like they're making it their space. Like, oh, shit, you know, I thought I was Jim guy. I thought, you know, evidently, I just came to the gym. This is Jim guy. Look at him. He's rearranging fucking furniture. He's open in the fucking window. He's doing all this shit. All right. So immediately, I'm like, all right, why is this fucking hotel guest acting like he fucking, like this is his gym? So I'm already starting to like look at him in a certain way, you know,

so then he fucking comes over to where I'm at. I'm thinking, all right, this is weird. There's only one bench over here and I'm, you know, workout little fucking thing here and I'm not done with it. So I don't know what this guy's doing. And he just grabs like all these heavy dumbbells and walks to the other side of the gym and he keeps fucking dropping them on the floor, even though there's a fucking sign that says, don't drop them on the floor. Right. And I'm like, all right, I'm starting to get this guy. I'm starting to get this guy. This guy has to come in and he has to dominate the space, you know, he's coming in and the first statement he makes is that the hotel isn't running their gym right. And now he was like on like the other bar, he was like the bar rescue

guy of like the gym. So he comes in, he fucking, you know, he's letting the air in. Now he's grabbing these things. The sign says don't drop the weights. He's dropping the weights anyway, you know, because he's above the fucking rules. Right. But I'm not gonna lie to you, man. Like I kept watching him when he was working out because he was doing all those modern fucking things. I still do the exact same workout I did when Steve Winwood was winning Grammys, you know, give me a higher love. I still, I still, I want to be your sledgehammer Peter Gabriel. You know, I still do the exact same fucking same shit. I've done some shit with bands, you know, rehab and my fucking shoulders and stuff. But I still basically I do the exact when it comes

to weights, I do the same thing. And this dude, he was doing these things like genuflecting while holding a dumbbell, one dumbbell over his head with one arm, right. And then he would walk towards me as I'm on the bench, you know, like he's going to fucking T bone the bench. Then right when he couldn't take another lunge, he would then back up. And then he'd come back at me again, right, with the other arm in the air with the same dumbbell, right. Coming at me like a fucking meerkat, you know, lunging trying to look bigger, like some cobra that went down his fucking hole, right. So down his hole mean down into his fucking, you know, house there with a little little meerkats were not fucking up his ass. In case people got confused with my vomit

reference. Are meerkats considered varmints? All right, these are the questions I have, I gotta look this shit up. But anyway, his fucking working out made me feel like is he like laughing at me, looking at me watching like I'm over here, I'm going to fucking bench and then do some curls and then do some tries and then do the shoulders, then fucking sit up stand go back to the room or the fucking doughnets. Oh, yeah. Hang on a second here are but then I looked at him and I'm like, he's really not in good shape. You know, he's got all the, he's got all the gear, you know, he's over here open in windows. He's doing these 2021 exercises, but maybe I'm catching him at the beginning. Maybe he's turning

his life around. Are meerkats varmints? Why do meerkats stand up? Wait, I gotta find out what, I don't even know if I spelled it right. What is a varmint? Var, oh, it's M-I-N-T, a varmint, a troublesome and mischievous person, especially a child. Wait a second. One classified is vermin and unprotected by game law. Oh, you can just fucking, you can just shoot a fucking raccoon, right? Synonyms for varmint, bastard, beast, bleeder, blighter, bore, bounder, bugger, buzzard, cad, chuff, churl, clown, fucking clown, rats, mice, and other varmints. The sheriff in the movie gets resented on the dirty varmint who killed his brother. Oh, I get it. All right,

there we go. Let's do the ad reads here. Let's do the ad reads. Indochino. You know, there's never been a better time to upgrade your look. Indochino's Black Friday event has their lowest prices of the year on suits, shirts, outerwear, and more. Plus, you'll save even more by using the code BRR. Indochino offers completely custom fitted suits, shirts, casual wear, and more at surprisingly affordable prices. Get a wardrobe personalized to your lifestyle and taste without spending a fortune. Measure yourself on the website in 10 minutes, then wear your suit out of the box in three to four weeks. Every piece is made to your exact measurements and you can customize every detail. Choose everything about your suit,

including the fabric, the lapels, monogram, and statement linings. You can create a suit that fits you and your style perfectly. The best part, Indochino suit started just 2.99 and starts, and shirts started from 45 bucks with all customizations included. Get away from the video calls and back and get away from the video calls and get back in and back into looking and feeling amazing. Oh, I see. Get away from your Zoom calls. All right. Indochino's Black Friday event runs from November 8th to November 29th. Save even more and get $50 off any purchase at 3.99 or more by using the promo code BRR at Indochino.com. That's $50 off a purchase of $399 or more at INDOCH INDO.com promo code BRR. The fucking throat is so dry, man. The goddamn altitude up here.

Oh, look who it is, everybody. But doot, doot, doot, me undies, me undies. Why are you building that house? Doot, doot, doot, me undies, me undies because of my murdering spouse. All the Indians just about got murdered and so did a bunch of, I don't know, other fucking people with my husband's fucking guns. So I kept building a house. That's really fucking sad. At least I didn't shit myself. All right, me undies. So the holidays are almost upon us and it's time to really lean in. We're talking hugs. We're talking secret family recipes. We're talking about seeing the looks on your loved ones faces as they all unwrap their matching PJ sets at the same time. This year, me undies wants to help you bring comfort home

for the holidays. This is your sign to surround your family and friends with the comfort while you're at it. Why not get a little something, something for yourself too? With new classic plaid and holiday sweater prints, me undies is turning up the comfort this holiday season. Their undies, loungewear and sleepwear are made out of soft, breathable, stretchy fabrics that are ideal for getting cozy by the fire with hot cups of cocoa. Jesus Christ, none of that was your idea, was it? Honey, you want to make cocoa and sip by the fire and pajamas? Yeah. Make the whole family smile with matching PJ sets or spoil your partner with plush robes and slippers. Whatever you decide, everyone will be rolling into the new year, comfier than before,

available sizes and extra small through 4XL. Me undies has a little something, something for everyone on your list. Looking for more inspiration, check out their holiday gift guides for all things cozy and comfy. Me undies has a great offer for my listeners. For anytime first purchasers, you get 15% off and free shipping right to your door. Your days of fighting for your life in the mall parking lot are over. To get 15% off your first order free shipping and 100% satisfaction guaranteed, go to meundies.com slash burr. That's meundies.com slash burr. Oh, this is a really interesting one. Everybody loves this thing. Solo stove. You know, there's nothing quite like the feeling of gathering around a warm fire

on a cool fall evening and a smokeless fire pit from solo stove makes your outdoor moments even more memorable because instead of having to constantly dodge campfire fumes, you can sit back, relax and actually enjoy the fire. Upgrade your backyard with a solo stove fire pit. Google that solo stove. They're really cool. Slick looking. Enjoy the warm ambience, the mesmerizing flames and all the opportunities to create more good moments and lasting memories. Make the time with your friends and family richer with a solo stove fire pit. Solo stove fire pits are brilliantly engineers and beautifully crafted made from premium grade 304 stainless steel and a patented 360 degree airflow system that maximizes the efficiency while minimizing the smoke.

That's the only thing sucks about sitting around a fire is when the wind, you know, starts blowing all that shit in your face. Easy to light with a few bits of starter. Your fire is blazing in minutes. Perfectly portable. Take solo stove with you on camping trips and more. I'll take it to tailgating. Give a fuck. What are you cold? Yes, I am and I'm man enough to admit it. Get the perfect fire pit for these, for these, those fall nights. Make your backyard a destination with the spectacular fire pit from solo stove. Shop the fall event now and get an extra $10 off when you use promo code borough checkout. They're so confident. You'll love it. They'll offer a lifetime warranty and a 30 day free return policy. Just go to solo stove.com and remember,

you get $10 off when you use the promo code borough. All right. Okay. Native American preference. All right, we got people here chiming in, chiming in, chiming in. All right. Native American preference. Okay, here we are. We got the reads here, everybody. We're doing the reads. Native American preference. Hey, Billy little boy blue. I'm commenting on the last podcast about Native Americans versus Indians. Yeah, I was saying every Native American ever met. I haven't met a lot. They all say, you know, I rather be just called an Indian. As an actual card carrying quote, Native American, I think Indian is still the preferable term. In fact, it's in our tribal name. I'm probably going to say this one, the Seneca nation of Indians.

And an informal survey of my res still pretty much prefers the Indian term, maybe because Native American sounds like a PC term or just because the American term is still an example of colonial terminology applied to natives. In fact, native is probably preferred over Native American. American got the hiccups. Sorry. So there you go. This person goes on to say it still doesn't help everyone thinks we're of Mexican descent and speak Spanish to us where whenever they can. I live in Boston too. I got numerous examples. Oh, Jesus. Anyway, have a good one and go fuck yourself. Yeah, so there you go. All right. Application. Yeah, that's the amazing thing about like all of this stuff. Like I don't think like these nicer names, obviously can't say a racial slur. I'm not

saying to say that, but these just continuing to improve on the name, but never really trying to undo some of the wrongs or whatever. I mean, I don't know how you would do that. But like, I do think that, you know, they need to like, you know, with history, you can't just have the people that won, you know, turn in the people they murdered into mascots and team names or named streets and golf courses after them as a tribute is kind of, you know, I don't think that's enough. It's weird. The whole fucking thing is just weird how it's all teams. So you don't like my Italian friends get so fucking mad that they're losing Columbus Day slowly, but surely, and they're all

like, fuck that. He never did that shit. That's bullshit. He never, it's like, dude, who the fuck knows what happened? Nobody's saying you did it. You know, every race of people has their sweethearts and they also have their Jeffrey Dahmers. We just need to just fucking, you know, take everything out of the cabinet and align it up the way it should be. And we can all fucking agree on it. I don't know. I just don't understand like, at this point, what the problem is? Okay, Native American preference. Okay, I just read that one. Appalachian, Appalachian writing in about the ignorant South. All right, so here was my thing. All of this shit came about when I was watching the World Series. And, you know, I'm trying to root for

the Braves because they've been there for so many times. And every five seconds, they're more on fanbases, fucking doing the Tomahawk chop. So I don't know, I was just thinking about it. And I just came up with this theory that, you know, maybe if Northern whites treated Southern whites better after the Civil War, or somehow got over the fact that they tried to secede from the Union, you know, the bad blood ended. And they didn't, you know, try to fiscally, fiscally fuck them over and have prejudices against the accent and all that type of shit and showed them some empathy. And late night talk show hosts didn't constantly do jokes about Southerners, you know, fucking their own sisters and hillbilly shit. Maybe they would be more empathetic. And when people said,

Hey, you know, that Tomahawk chop thing, you know, you might want to think about that. They'd be like, All right, you know, I'm open to that. Just an idea I had, right? I don't read. So this person is writing in about the ignorance appellation writing. So he lives somewhere in the Appalachian mountains. Dear Billy Turkey titties. Turkey tits would have been better. I still like Turkey titties, but Turkey tits gets it's you get the alliteration almost three times because the E ruins the T titties Turkey tits. All right, they're Turkey tits. I mean, that's fucking great. That's right out of jerky boys. This this letter is already a winner. Turkey tits. I heard your podcast where you briefly mentioned your theory that if Northerners were more compassionate to Southerners,

then maybe they wouldn't fly such blatantly racist flags or be more considerate of other cultures, etc. Yeah, basically paraphrase what I just said. I've lived in West Virginia since I was around five years old. Because I choose to further my education because I chose to Jesus Christ, too stupid to read his fucking sentence in my language about education. I still fuck it up. And because I chose to further my education, because I form my own opinion based on facts and refused to let social media like Facebook brainwash me, you sound like you're fighting it, fight the good fight. And a smaller and I a smaller percentage of folks my age aren't hateful and ignorant like the people before us. All right, something happened when you rewrote that sentence.

Anyway, he goes, it doesn't mean we're not piss poor though. What so many people fail to understand is that places like West Virginia are essentially third world countries inside of the United States. West Virginia specifically was stripped of its resources by coal companies. And while reaping the benefits of coal, paid miners next to nothing and fought tooth and nail with the military at their side to stop them from unionizing, Google the battle of Blair Mountain. See, this is more shit that should be in the history books. Now here it is. This is, this is white people fucking with the poorer white people. What a surprise. The battle of Blair Mountain, B. L. A. I. R. Look that up, if you want poor funding across the board from infrastructure to education is a main factor

is a main factor in what makes people ignorant and hateful here. Yeah. Yeah, listen to me, every once in a while, you know, broken clocks right twice a day is what they say. I think I stumbled onto something, a huge portion of people here don't even have access to the internet. With the piece of shit like Joe Manchin, Mankin in office to represent this place, you know that nothing is being done to help poor people. The Farcacus shut down the billionaire tax, even though zero billionaires live in West Virginia. Our governor, Big Jim Justice, is also a fucking idiot. Please tell me that's his name. Here is, here he is reacting to COVID numbers a few months ago. I don't want to watch another guy in office, just fucking ignoring

doctors. The people that have brains and intuition to make this state better end up leaving because of all these factors above, there's practically zero opportunity here. And I'll tell you something, I've been to Virginia, it is a fucking gorgeous state. Absolutely one of the most beautiful parts of this country and the fact that, you know, there's, and there's no news even about this shit or what's going on down there. I could go on much longer, much longer rant about all of this bullshit, but I'll end with this. West Virginia is a beautiful state, say, filled with untouched wilderness and huge potential to be a state like Colorado in the future. If we did things like legalized marijuana and put money into the public education and infrastructure, yeah,

in some way there would be a tipping point and they would just start building fucking glass towers and all of that shit. So I don't know, they would just fucking make everything all corporate. But I hear what you say. I wish there was a way to just help out your state, you know, without having all the corporations then descending down there because people have money. The reason that it's destitute is because of the rich taking advantage of our resources and our people. Huge fan of everything you've done from your stand up to your character on the Mandalorian. I'm a little behind on efforts for family, but I plan to binge it all once the last season drops. I'd love to see you do a show in Charleston. I'd love to do one there.

Thank you. He says, I know both Bert and Tom are going to be here soon. Well, those two guys are going there. Jesus Christ, I don't need to go there. Those guys are going to destroy. Thanks and go fuck yourself. So there you go. There you go. I like here. Come on, man. Everybody write in. I'll be like the fucking the Michael Moore of podcasting, except what I won't do is act like Canada is this super happy fucking place. We don't have to lock your doors, you know, and nobody does anything bad to anybody. There's never any riots and they love when a person, you know, who isn't white plays hockey. They always have wonderful experiences in the miners. Why Southerners do weird stuff.

Here's another guy writing it. Hey, Billion of the Crimson Sack. I like that. That's fucking, you know, if I knew what my family crust was, I might have that written in Latin underneath it. Been listening to your podcast for a few years now. First time writing in love your stand up in your podcast. Keep up the great work. I was listening to your podcast from last week, November 1st, 2021, and heard you wondering about why people from the South do stuff like fly rebel flags and other stuff that seems stupid and or outdated. Yeah, I'm going to stop short of saying stupid because I don't want to be like fucking, you know, I don't remember how bad I did in high school. So I would just say, you know, the lack of empathy.

Dare I say the pride and kind of going out of your way, you know, to hurt other people is, is what I find confusing, you know, but then again, I have a crushing need to be liked. So, you know, anyway, I'm from North Carolina, go Tar Heels. And I see things like the rebel flag pretty regularly. The attitude generally doesn't seem to be one of hatred towards a certain people or anything, but usually one of regional pride parentheses love my spread. I do think that there is an element of spite involved in a we're still here kind of way, but it seems more defiant than anything. As for the attitudes of people from other parts of the country towards us Southerners, meaning Northern whites, people on the coasts, it's rarely ever a positive one. No, I used to do a

bit in my act. You know, something you're going to touch upon here, I can see in the next sentence here, I'll read your shit first and I'll do my bit. I have a degree in electrical engineering and have kept my accent since moving out of the South, but I get funny looks from time to time or even straight up told my accent sounds uneducated. I think how fucked up that is. You know, Mark Twain was a Southerner, right? There's a bunch of super smart fucking Southerners, but I'm too stupid to remember all of them. But I used to do a bit in my act saying like, if, if Albert Einstein had a Southern accent, you know, no one would have listened to him. He would have been up there, you know, and I pointed, I can't remember if I did this on my

first half hour, be pointed at the board going, Hey, equals MC squared. People shut up, you fucking moron. Come on, man, I'm serious. This fucking shit works. Something like that. But there's true, there's a prejudice against your accent. Sometimes it's a bit more subtle where people will say something like, wow, I didn't expect you to know so much as if I didn't spend eight fucking years in college. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I loved about the late great Vic Henley. Vic Henley kept his, his accent. And it was a super smart guy with, you know, being a super smart guy had really smart material. And I used to love watching him killing in New York City. And he never really addressed at least all the years I watched him. He never said like,

you know, I don't really remember. He just sort of talked about life and would crush. Anyway, now granted, we're easy to make jokes out of and we're one of the few groups of people left that it's considered safe to make fun of or mock just for the circumstances of their birth. So I can't fault people for hanging onto that. But it doesn't, but it does foster a bit of resentment, especially when you see people act like there's not other parts of the country just as ignorant, if not more so than the South. Well, hey, I've been to them all and I can, I can definitely tell you that the, you know, the East coast meathead myself being one could give you Southerners a run for their money. Yeah, I just went to a football game today.

I saw a lot of great people saw a lot of animals. I mean, you go to a sporting events, the fucking animals come out. Yeah, so yeah, there's one for you. I think just in general, if people, like we're just going in this really bad direction of egos and name calling, if people could just sort of fucking relax a little bit and just step back and kind of because we could go back to maybe a little common decency, but then, you know, that doesn't even make sense because there was, you know, air quote, common decency decades ago, I feel, but like a lot of other shit was worse. So I don't know. I don't know what the solution is. You know, when, when's Jesus going to be done with that nap? I mean, when exactly is,

how bad does it have to get before he comes back and is like, Oh, Jesus, have to come back down there, you know, fucking settle things down. Is that what he's going to do? He's like, settle things down. You know, like shit's getting out of control in the squared circle and he's going to come running out of the locker room like a fucking wrestler. Is that what's going to happen? All right, question. Hey, Billy Bucktooth, my name is Carson. I'm a 19 year old from Iowa. I've been listening to your podcast for a little over three months now and I'm a big fan. I listened to your shitty podcast on my long walks to school and from long walks to and from school. And let me tell you the stupid ass looks I get from laughing at your jokes makes the walk

even better. Oh, that's great. I got to get out there, man. I want to say I have a gig somewhere out there. I've got one question you for you that I always try to ask people that look like they've made some mistakes. What's one thing slash piece of advice you wish you could have heard around my age? Only one said I'm fresh out of high school here. She says fresh out of high school now a sophomore in college. I want to hear from the man himself what he wishes he did or didn't do. Should I do that bowl of meth or keep on rolling on with college and join the math team or some shit like that? Best of luck to you and keep rocking all love from Iowa. Keep rocking, man. Fuck the one piece of advice, dude. It's too big. It's too big. You know what? I love when I get

like a variety pack from a cigar company. So why don't I do that? I'll give you a variety pack of shit that I wished. Don't be so hard on yourself. Walk up to her and say hello. Who gives a shit? Then you don't have to carry the fucking what if for the rest of your life. Don't get a credit card. Ah, fuck. I don't know. What else? What else? Learn about money? It's too big, dude. You're making my head explode. I'm fucking running in 50 directions. I fucked everything up. I fucked everything up. I don't know. I would say if you want to run for public office or something like that, you know, that's what I would do. I would treat my life in a lot of ways like I was running for public office. So I would really be careful about anything that you

sent or whatever on the internet or joked around with through texts, messages and shit, because they seem to go back eight, nine, 10 fucking years and just try to destroy your fucking career. This is what you stand and when you guys by the time, you know, you're of age to go run for some big office a big 30 years ago, you said this and it's just like, I'm not the same person I was fucking 30 days ago. So I don't know, dude, just try to be a good person. Life isn't as tough as you think it's going to be. I would just, you know, really fucking enjoy all aspects of life. You know, something getting old too is not a bad thing. And unfortunately, you're actually going to realize it's a blessing someday if you're unlucky, you know, to lose some friends along the way.

And because that's a real mind fuck, you know, some of the friends that I lost, it's such young ages. And I met them when they were super young. And if you told me when I met them that they were already halfway through their life, I mean, I don't even know how I would even handle that. So all right, I think that's enough vague shit that I could tell you, I think I would, I would, if you asked me something a little more specific, maybe my fucking ADD wouldn't be bouncing all around, but like, really be careful with money. Okay, marry somebody that you love, that you're crazy about, and that like, it's easy, they're easy to hang out with, they should feel like a friend. Yeah, I'm so God, I'm so open all of this stuff, if somebody's treating you like if it's work,

get out of the relationship. If it's just a friend or like a girlfriend, boyfriend, whatever you think is there, just get out of it. Just get out of it. Just if you have to just sit there and think to yourself, well, maybe if I acted this way, would things be better? That that is right there, it's over. The second you're thinking like I need, I mean, unless they're calling you out on like, you know, like my wife going like you got us, you know, quit yelling at fucking appliances in the kitchen, you mean, you know, certain shit you have to fucking listen to, but other stuff you can just, you know, if I'm like, okay, maybe if I pretend to like this kind of music, then will they not be upset with me? Or will they like me? Yeah, fuck all of that.

Fuck all of that. And pay attention, you know, as you move through life, if you start doing well, and you know, people you thought your friends started acting weird, yeah, you let them go to, that's how that works. And then one day, you know, you're sitting alone in a fucking hotel room in San Jose with nobody to call. No, I'm kidding. Had to make a joke at the end. All right. Let's plow ahead here. That was the question. And then I got one last thing here. And then I got to go do my show. All right, book recommendation. Dear Billy books. I know you're a busy man. But I really think you should download an audio book called tribe by Sebastian Younger, spelled J U N G E R. He's a writer who served in Vietnam, and has spent his life learning

about cultures from around the world. He details what it is that makes humans feel fulfilled. Oh, shit. Maybe the person who asked that other question may read this book instead of listening to my dumb ass. Interesting things, things like the phenomenons of communities go through hard times. And now in the present, looking back on those times as the best times of their lives. Okay, interesting. Sorry, I didn't read that right. Interesting things like the phenomenon of communities going through hard times and now in the present, looking back on those times as the best times of their life. Lots of it comes from how they connected and felt part of a group. It goes way beyond this. He reads the book himself, which makes it more compelling.

It helps me clarify certain thoughts I was having about where to live, what size city or town. Please, please download this and let me know what you think. Thanks and go fuck yourself. I might check that out. If I have some fucking time to listen to somebody read me a book, does he start with once upon a time? I don't want to fall asleep. Anyway, let's see, how long did I do here? Did I do enough time? Did I do my time? Yeah, I weren't six minutes here. A couple things I got to cut out. Tighten the fucking rope here, like this right here. All right, that's it, everybody. Thank you for listening to the podcast. Go fuck yourselves, except if you're down south. Have a wonderful afternoon and I'll check in on you on Thursday.