Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 12-12-16

Episode Date: December 13, 2016

Bill rambles about the gun test, traveling and experiencing loss.

In the mountain, in the kitchen, even in the living, they are really everywhere to ride the empty boat. But now we are going to the finish, bring them to a Bebath Ensemble point quickly. You will always find one in your neighborhood on Bebath.be Bebath! Together, better for nature and for all of us. Campaign in cooperation with the OVAM. I gotta be a little quiet, man. It's only like 6.30 in the morning out here.

My lovely wife is still sleeping. And so I'm trying not to wake her up from upstairs. Gonna try to be a good boy this fucking week, right? I'm still gonna say all the fucked up shit I always say. I'm just gonna say it at a volume that's, you know, a little more palatable. As long as I don't start with slapping. You know, I woke up this morning by do-by-do-boop. I heard this big fucking booming noise.

And you ever get that feeling like, you're like, did I just dream that? Or is somebody in the house? Right? And then you immediately start thinking like, alright, I got kitchen knives. I got a fucking softball bat right next to my bed. But the reality is, you know, as much as people want gun control and all of that shit. I mean, that's the first thing you think of. You know, there should be a fucking thing, right?

If they can fucking test you one goddamn time. You answer like five fucking questions. And then all of a sudden you never have to go through any sort of fucking, you know, major security at the airport. Because one time you didn't act like a fucking lunatic. And then I guess you're good for the rest of your life. Why can't you just like one time? They can't come up with the same type of a test.

Whatever the fuck they're seeing down at the airport. They can't come up with that for fucking regular people, you know. You know, it'd be perfect just to have a fucking 38 and they let you have a silencer. Now fuck that a glock with the silencer. Because you don't want to ruin your ears. You just want to kill the person that comes in your house, right? It'd be great. Be right there next to your table and the person comes walking in, you know,

you fucking money just reach over. They fucking hit the ground. You put the gun back down, you just go back to sleep and you know, a couple hours wait back up again. You're like, who is this? Your brother locked him up. Oh, oh, that's right. That's right.

Yeah, while you were sleeping, some guy broke in. Yeah, he's dead. You want to call the cops? I'll get the coffee going. You know, everybody, you know, they tell you don't have a knife or anything like that. You want bat will give you distance. But at the end of the day, you know what I mean? There has to be some sort of test.

They look at your fucking driving record, right? How you did in high school, Jesus, I'd be out the window. I don't know what the fuck, however the fuck they do it. Okay. And, you know, you just get, you get a, you get a glock with a fucking silencer. You don't hurt your ears. You know, you aim center mass or whatever it would be. It would be a great fucking thing.

I really think it would be a great thing. You know, as long as you knew what everybody's feet sounded like on the floor in your house, as long as you know what you knew what their walk sounded like, that would be the test, right? All your loved ones in your house, they would from bare feet to fucking snowshoes. You just had to be like, all right, that's my son, Mikey. Okay, that's my wife and she's wearing Uggs, right? And you get it all down, right? So then you know what the fucking sound is.

I don't know. I'm just saying I had a little fucking, I don't know, I get a little nervous. So I'm just like, what am I, Jason fucking born over here? I'm not, you know, my wife's been snoring to beat the fucking band now that she's in the third trimester, which is understandable. The kids laying on her fucking lungs. So I have to go upstairs to sleep and I had all of this shit went through my fucking head. Right?

Like what if somebody came in downstairs, took out my wife and left with no fucking fingerprints, they're going to fucking blame me. That's the first thing I thought, not, oh my God, my pregnant wife was going to be dead. First thing I thought is I'm going to go to jail for that shit. That's what, you know, I'm really selfish when I'm in the middle of the night. I'm really groggy. Like, like right now I'm awake. And I'd be like, well, I would be too, I wouldn't give a fuck what they did to me at that point.

I'd be so upset that I'd lost my wife. But when I'm laying here, nice and toasty under the sheets. That's the first thing I thought of like, oh man, I love this bed. I wouldn't have this bed in jail. Anyways, we're getting down to it, people. There's only another fucking 19 days left in this year. Fuck Christmas, by the way. Fuck Christmas. Right up the old fucking yahoo.

All right, fuck that stupid ass fucking holiday. It's for fucking kids. The level of fucking pressure I have to run around and buy fucking adults. Fucking presence. What do you want to chew, chew, train your fucking cunt? I don't have time for this shit. I got too much other stuff to do. You know, it's fucking brutal, man.

I had one of the worst, one of the worst fuck, I wasn't going to talk about this. I had one of the worst fucking weeks of my life, and this Christmas music in the background is fucking driving me nuts. I'm going to gloss over all of this shit, because I've never gotten emotional on the podcast. I do not want to do it now. You know, I told you one of my good friends died.

I went to the memorial service and, you know, his two, you know, he's got two kids, 10 years old, went up and spoke at it. It's the most heart-wrenching thing I ever saw. And then Thursday, I know this is going to be probably devastating to a lot of you guys. I had to give my dog away. Yes. Oh, Cleo, I had to do it. I got a baby coming, and the Cleo that you hear on the podcast

is not the Cleo that, unfortunately, when anybody else comes to the door, and, you know, she tried to attack my parents, my brother-in-law, my father-in-law, all of my friends, she bit one of my friends, nipped him, and was just like, you know, it was a ticking fucking time-bond for seven years with the dog. I love the dog to death. My wife loves the dog. It was fucking devastating. It's the most devastating thing I've had to do.

It's just one of those adult decisions where it was like, my brain was like, there's no fucking way you can have a baby crawling around. That then becomes a toddler, and they don't know how to fucking pet a dog, and then she gets a little older and then has friends over, and their parents come over. It was just a ticking time bomb. She does not do well adjusting to new things, and something horrible was going to happen, and then she was going to get put down. So I had to do the responsible thing and found her a great home.

And this is what kills me, is she's totally adjusted now and is fucking happy as shit, and I'm fucking devastated, because she's a fucking dog. And within four days, they're like, oh, is this the new deal? You're the guy now? All right. So I'll tell you a quick story, dude. Fucking, I had to hand the dog off to my trainer, right? So the whole morning, I don't want to act emotional,

because I don't want the dog to be nervous. And so I took her on one last hike. It was fucking brutal. And then I was gathering up all her stuff. I give it all to the trainer, and I go to hand off the fucking dog. And it's like I didn't want her to be nervous, so I barely even said goodbye. I was like, all right, buddy. Okay, see you later, because I didn't want it to be nervous, because I love it so much.

And then I fucking, you know, the trainer takes it, and then I went back in the house, went to the bathroom, and then fucking cried like a little boy. It was fucking brutal. Ah, brutal. You know, it's fucking hilarious. The way women handle this fucking emotion, like my wife, like, sobbed, like five or six fucking times,

including the night before. And then their ability to fucking move ahead is fucking astounding. Like, they can know it's sad, deal with it being sad. They fucking cry it out of them. And then, I'm not saying she's not heartbroken. She's fucking devastated, but like, their ability, their fucking ability to handle shit like that versus a guy. Guys fucking deny, deny, deny, and then they just hold on to the shit.

You know what I mean? Everybody's got that fucking buddy of theirs, you know what I mean? They're married, they got a couple of kids, but you get like two, three scotches in them. They start talking about some broad from fucking 25 years ago. It's like, dude, when are you going to let it go? Because, you know, we're not allowed. Like, when I cried over my dog the whole time I was fighting it.

So it was like an eight second cry. Poo-hoo! Done. All right, fight it off. Just keep it right there in your chest. Keep it fucking right there. And then, you know, I'm telling you, fucking like nine years from now, I'll be at a fucking Christmas party and have a couple too many fucking Zinfandales.

And I'll lash out at somebody and they'll be like, dude, where the fuck did that come from? And it's, and I'm not even going to know. It's going to be because I didn't hug my dog before. I mean, I definitely, you know, I did with the days coming up and that type of shit, but I should have given it one last fucking hug, but I knew I couldn't do it, you know. So, all right, let's pass that.

Let's get past that. Anyways, so I went to the Rams game yesterday. By the way, I did hit pause to regroup. Brutal, brutal fucking, brutal week! And the whole fucking time I got to sit here and listen to fucking Christmas music everywhere I go. You know, if I had a hammer, I'd hammer. Is that a fucking Christmas song? It's kind of a fucking psycho song, right?

Second adult says, if I had a hammer, we all know what a hammer is for, dude. All right? I don't know. I always get nervous when I hear that first sentence. If I had a hammer. Anyway, so I went to the Rams first Atlanta Falcons game yesterday. Buddy of mine had tickets and I was like, dude, I got to go because I really wanted to see the Los Angeles Rams playing in the LA Memorial Coliseum.

I mean, that's where all the greats played from the Rams history, right? I believe Eric Dickerson played there before they moved down to Anaheim. Probably the last of the greats to play there. The fearsome foursome, right? Lamar, Lamar, London, Merlin Olson, Rosie Greer, Deacon Jones. Who else? Roman Gabriel. That was all before my time.

Then I came in when it was the fucking quarterback controversy of Pat Hayden, Vince Farragamo, Wendell Tyler, right? Jim and Jack Youngblood. What was crazy about them is back then, if somebody had the same always, if somebody has the same last name as you, they put just your first initial and then a period, but it was Jack and Jim. So they had to write their whole names and said, Jack Youngblood on the back.

It never looked right. It looked fucking weird. But anyways, I went there and it was the typical LA sporting experience that you, a lot of times where there's just as many fans if not more fans because it's a transient city. It really has nothing to do with LA fans. There's just so many people like myself that moved out here, you know, chasing the old Hollywood dream or people are just fucking sick of, you know,

just bad weather. People are just always fucking moving it. By the way, dude, I'm telling you right now, dude, this fucking real estate bubble out here of them building all of these fucking luxury apartment buildings, you know, where I fucking go over and play hockey. They got this thing, the Pickwick hockey thing. That's also a bowling alley in a function room. They're fucking knocking that whole thing down,

knocking that whole fucking thing down because they're going to have luxury apartments. It's just, there's going to be no place to skate out here. The one that was over in fucking was at Century City or some shall we get confused over there? It begins with a C and ain't cut. I don't know what it is. They fucking that one's done. Now this one's gone. The only other ones I know, there's one down by the airport

and there's one over near Sherman Oaks Valley Ice Center. And other than that, I don't know. I'll have to fucking go buy some roller blades, right? There's a little fucking short shorts. Do that stupid thing. You know, we set up the cones and you come up to them and turn around backwards, right? Um, anyways, uh, yeah, dude, so they have, uh, so they had this, they put up this fucking one building, right?

And, uh, really impressive building. It's over near Beverly Hills. So I was just like, I don't see what that building is about. I go on the internet, right? It's called the 10,000. I'm like, all right, why is it called the 10,000? It's called the 10,000 because that's the amount of money you have to pay a month to live there. I guess bare minimum.

How fucking tacky is like, how many times are we going to fucking do this? You know what I mean? It's like, we always act, there's always like some sort of like crash and everybody fucking loses everything. And by everybody, I mean the fucking lower 99% gets their fucking asses kicked. And then, you know, give it a couple of years and all of a sudden it just comes right back out around again to the Bud Fox. Greed is good. Dude, how fucking tacky is that? The name of the building is the minimum.

This is how much you're paying a rent. Jesus Christ, have a little bit of fucking class. Um, yeah, they're just everywhere. They're putting up luxury apartments. I don't know where the fuck they're going to find all these people to fill these things, but I guarantee you they're not going to do it. Like, I was thinking of buying a small apartment building out here, but everybody's fucking buying them up. I can't even afford to fucking get in one. Or, you know, just because it's stupid, it's like at the height of the fucking market.

You know, I was thinking of buying like a parking garage or some shit, just a parking lot, you know? Who the fuck are all these people going to park? That building parking underneath the goddamn things. Ah, they got it all figured out. You know, I guess I'll be telling jokes for the rest of my fucking life. I'm trying to have some sort of something, a lemonade stand or something where I get into my older fucking years. I got some sort of loot coming in that doesn't have to do with me fucking putting on my tap dancing shoes. I don't know.

So anyways, I went to the, um, the Los Angeles Rams game yesterday. It was so great to see them play there, even though they had a fucking brutal game. They were down 42 to nothing to Maddie. Ice and fucking, uh, uh, fucking the Rams. And I, I mean, the Falcons and evidently their best receiver, whoever the fuck that is, Julio Jones or some shit. I think I heard that name. Is that a baseball player? I don't know.

I don't play fantasy sports and I'm too fucking busy to really pay attention as much as I used to. He wasn't even playing and they just kicked the shit out of him. You know, it was funny. The Rams finally scored a touchdown, right? To make it 42 to seven and they lit the Olympic torch. I'm sure they just light it late at night, but it seemed like that's when I first noticed that it was on. And then they also had a, uh, a fumble recovery for a touchdown crowds going nuts. So whatever that happens live, the first thing I do is try to pick up a referee to see if I see, you know, him going on, on, on, on, on.

It's, it's a dead ball or if he's saying touchdown. And as the guy was crossing the goal line, you could see the ref was already going, no, no, no, pointing at the ground saying it was, you know, either the guy was down or whatever. Right. And the fucking fireworks guy, the fucking fireworks guy shoots the fireworks off on a touchdown that got called back. It's fucking hilarious because they're not selling out games. You know, that probably, I bet that guy got chewed out. Fucking owner probably came down his camel haired coat. You know, where the fuck is a goddamn fireworks guy?

I'm sorry, Mr. Mr. Fucking owner. Shut the fuck up. It's coming out of your pay. He's down there fucking crying. Um, but it was just such a great stadium. It holds 90,000 people for the life of me. Can somebody explain to me why the Los Angeles Rams need a new football stadium? There's a football stadium.

There's two of them. There's the Rose Bowl and there's the fucking LA Memorial Coliseum. Why do we have to take more fucking natural resources out of the fucking earth to build another one of these stupid ass fucking stadiums? So they have luxury boxes and put all the bells and whistles on it. You know, so they can attract people who aren't into sports to go to the fucking event. I love that fucking stadium. I had a great time. I love that it's a so-called shit hole.

I think it's great. Do you know there was 62 steps to get from fucking where I was seating, sitting back up to the main concourse to fucking walk out of the stadium. It's fucking tremendous. 62 steps. You know, it makes you drink less. You burn in a bunch of calories. There's less fat fucks. But now what do they say?

Oh, that's a fire hazard. The incline's too steep. We're fucking, we're so soft in this fucking country. That's why like everybody's trying to get me all freaked out about having a kid about how difficult it's going to be. And I'm not saying it's not going to be difficult, but it's like people. Women used to have kids and then they'd fucking die. And then the fucking guy had to go out, bury his wife and get behind a team of oxen, plow some rocky goddamn field, and then fucking, I don't know, feed the kid, I don't goat's milk at that point.

I have no idea. And somehow he did it. You know, people have survived plagues. I can't fucking be in a house with central air conditioning and heat and all of this shit. I, you know, I mean, how much fucking harder is, oh God, I wish parents from fucking in the past could come and listen to the way people fucking whine. And go on and on about themselves, you know, and the way they lecture people who don't have kids. Dude, you have no idea. Oh my God.

It's so shut the fuck up. These fucking people coming over, you know, come paddle it over from Cuba on a fucking refrigerator door fighting off sharks. You know, you can't, you can't change a couple of diapers. I'm telling you, people are fucking their pussies. They're fucking soft. People are fucking soft. They fucking bitch moan and complain. Yes.

Yes. There's things in life. You know, I'd say at this point with all the modern gadgets. All right. If you have a job, if you're not worried about money, as far as you have enough fucking money to make your rent and all that stuff. I mean, a kid shouldn't be any more difficult considering the love back that you're going to get other than, you know, a major fucking adjustment and something that's inconvenient. But I mean, come on, it's difficult. Yeah, compared to the rest and compared to what's sitting down and playing PlayStation at fucking 38 years of age.

I might eat these words, but I mean, I'm just comparing it to the fact that, you know, people used to live in the fucking middle of nowhere. They'd have like 14 fucking kids. I can't handle one. I got all the sports packages, right? I mean, what? I mean, my fucking life's a joke, literally. Anyways, I don't know.

Let's try to stay on top again. I have no fucking idea why they need a new stadium. It's just, you know, I can't talk and type in my password. Come on. Stick with the bill. Focus. Oh, and he doesn't. Anyway, so we went to the game and I had a great time and the fucking Atlanta fans were like just the amount of shit talking.

Dude, there was this one guy. This one fucking guy. He bought those fucking wide receiver gloves, you know, where they have the logo of the team and then they crossed the hands and they put their hands up over the head. You know, like when like the fucking franchise player scores a touchdown, he does that and it looks cool. He was doing that at the end of the game. Just holding his hands up facing, facing the fucking Rams fans. I'm telling you, dude, this guy was like 50. All right.

You know, all wire thin, you know, street dude, right? 50 years old and he walked out and he was making doing a selfie video as he walked out, you know, talking all this shit. It's like, dude, you beat the fucking Rams. I mean, let's fucking relax. You're not beating the Giants. You're not beating Seattle. You're not beating the Cowboys. You're not doing shit this year.

Fucking guy running out like they just want to play a game. I don't know what it is about me, but I fucking hate when the fans from the visiting team take over a stadium, even if I don't give a fuck about the team. I respect the Rams. So next thing you know, I'm talking all this shit to Rams fan. I mean, to Falcons fans in the back of my head. In the back of my head, I'm like, why are you doing this bill? You don't give a fuck. It's just the Rams fans.

They didn't have anything. They weren't coming with the shit talk back. They couldn't. They were down 42 seven, right? 42 14, I think was the final. So at one point, you know, they went up 42 to nothing. All these Falcon fans, they start chatting ATL ATL ATL and I just started yelling, you're a hub city. No one goes to Atlanta.

We pass through your city on to our final destination. Started yelling all this shit about Delta Airlines. I believe that that's the hub there. And afterwards I just started thinking, why do I care? Oh, and then I also screamed at the fucking Atlanta's punter. He fucking punted the ball and this guy had a nice run back and he comes off the field. Now, granted, he could have been mad that he kicked it to the wrong guy or he's supposed to kick it away, but he came off the field and he did the double fucking pulling the chin straps off.

And he was like, fuck, he's screaming all this shit. He was all upset. I fucking went off on him. I don't remember what the fuck I said. I was just so beside myself that a punter would talk that level of shit. I said, sit the fuck down. Have they washed your uniform once this year? Fucking dope.

You're closer to sitting in the stands than you are actually being on that fucking. You know what I mean? It'd be like if this guy was in the armory and he peels potatoes and he's talking shit because he cut his finger or something like that. And meanwhile he's sitting around a bunch of people that just came back from the front lines. That's how I look at it. I mean, I might be a cunt. I have no idea. So anyways, when I was sitting there watching the Rams game,

I mentioned to my buddy that how there used to be a football stadium. I couldn't remember the name of it. At first I said the Baker Bowl and I was like, I think that might be in Philly. But there was a stadium for anybody who lives out here in LA. A lot of people, you know, LA is really bad about their history. And they had a stadium that was down where the farmer's market is on Fairfax and Beverly. It was actually a baseball stadium there too. I don't know anything about that, but they had a stadium called the Gilmore Stadium and called Gilmore Stadium.

And they had a couple of NFL, like all-star games there. And then they had like some defunct football league, like the LA Bulldogs or some shit played there. I looked it up on Wikipedia really this morning. I couldn't sleep that well. A little heartbroken Billy here. I couldn't sleep last night. And then the baseball field that was next to it. If you ever watched those classic home run derbies, well, they have like Al Kline versus like Mickey Mantle and shit.

And you know they're in LA and you're like, where the fuck is that stadium? They filmed a lot of it at the stadium right next to it. And right now there's like the CBS lot there where they film like the prices right and shit. And as I was looking that up, I didn't know this. They actually had a Wrigley Field in LA that looks like from the map it was near or north of Watts LA, which is south of the 10 and east of the 110. And it was built by the same guy that made Wrigley Field in Chicago and Kimiski Field. I'm a fucking nerd.

I like looking up that shit. I looked up shit about the Rams. They've won one Super Bowl. They won it in St. Louis, obviously 1999. People wouldn't remember that. And they won an NFL title in 1945 when they were still in Cleveland, which is where they started. So they've never won an NFL title or a fucking Super Bowl here in LA. And I got to tell you, after watching them yesterday, they don't seem like they're that much closer.

Fucking Jeff Fisher taking all kinds of shit. All kinds of shit. They need to fire him. They need to fire his ass. All right. Well, who do you think? Who else is we going to replace him with? You got to have a replacement.

I mean, this guy's been in the fucking league forever. Did take a team to the Super Bowl. However, it was fucking 17 years ago. He did well with Vince Young, you know, but in defense of him, you know, if you looked at the last, since the Patriots started going to the Super Bowl, okay, the Patriots have gone to six fucking Super Bowls. All right. And then as far as winning, Patriots have won four Steelers won two Giants won two Packers won one. I mean, it's like literally like every fucking decade, there's like two or three teams that just fucking run the table.

And the fucking 90s, it was Cowboys won three Broncos won two. There's half the Super Bowls have fucking gone right there. And you knew the 49ers were going to get one. And they won for the previous decade. There's just always that Steelers one for in. Let's look at the 80s. The 80s, it was 49ers one for the Raiders one two. That's six gone right there.

Giants one one Redskins one one Redskins one two. All right. So that's four, two and two. You got three teams that won eight of the 10. And then it was the Bears and whoever the fuck else I just said, I can't remember one the other one. Wait a minute. Where does it go? It goes Raiders 49ers Redskins Raiders 49ers Bears Giants Redskins 49ers 49ers.

Oh Giants and Bears one one. All right. I'm sorry. I'm getting all fucking nerded out here with the with the fucking sports talk here, which I'll probably do a little bit more of, but I probably should do some advertising here, but I want to talk to you guys about some shit where I told you I've been starting to get I found someone, you know, I fucked up my backlash this year with the sciatic nerd thing sciatica. Right.

I went through all of that shit through that. I found a great chiropractor and then a great masseuse, which has led me to this other person that I just went to who's, you know, a former like Mr. Universe bodybuilder and all that. And he's a fucking genius and everything. And I went to go see this guy because I fucked up my rotator cuff like years ago. I've been trying to just fight through it and all that type of shit. And I finally went to go see this guy. And like, I came walking in and, you know, those bodybuilders, they spend their lives

just looking in the mirror, you know, with fucking clothes on. He just saw all of my shit. It was it. He just went like, all right, your shoulders are rotated forward. Your left one is actually closer to your neck than your right one is. And then he go, and he goes, stand in the mirror. You see that? Dude, I brush my teeth every fucking twice a day.

Right. Two, three times a fucking day. I've never noticed that. I'm like, holy shit, he's right because it's rotated in and turned ever so slightly. It's not like it's like a fucking three inches, but you really have to look at it. And then he goes, all right, do me a favor, turn your head to the left and turn it to the right. And then he just started smiling because he knew what my fucking issue was. Whatever your neck muscle is, my chest and my trap muscles are too fucking tight.

And your trap, easy muscle, whatever it is, it goes all the way down to the middle of your back, but mine is super tight up top and my chest is tight. So it's pulling everything forward and it's making my shoulders go up. Like my shoulders always go up like so he gave me this fucking stretch. Even if you don't have this fucking problem, I got to tell, hopefully I can describe it over the podcast here. It's just stand up straight, right? And then just lift your chest up, put your shoulders back, put your fucking shoulders back, lift your chest up like you feel like you're trying to make it go to the ceiling,

and then have your hands, your arms, bring your arms back behind you, palms up, and stretch back as far as you can, all right? Like you totally open up your chest as you bring your arms back and try to hold that for a minute. It's been a complete game changer now. So like my shoulders have come down because I didn't want to masseuse. She beat the fuck out of my neck and my shoulders are fucking down a little bit more, but I swear to God, what I used to do like yoga stretches, like on one side I could totally like, you know, they always like reach around and grab your arm or whatever that yoga shit.

I could totally do it on one side, could not do it on the other side. And for my whole life, like I've had this fucking problem, like one shoulder being higher than the other forever, you know, and some nurse when I was in high school goes, oh, you got a little bit of scoliosis. Yeah, your spine's a little curved and blah, blah, blah, blah. And like, and this fucking who's, and I know the fuck she was. I was just like, yeah, that's the problem. And it wasn't. So I talked to this guy who's just going like, ah, yeah, he goes, I'll have your fucking straightened out in like a month or something.

And so he gave me these exercises to strengthen up the lower part of the trapeze, whatever. And for the first time in my life, I'm going to be actually be able to sit up straight just naturally. And the amount of shit that it has affected, it's given me back problems, like playing drums and stuff, like forever having to like adjust shit and wondering why when like I sit down, like why I have to bring the snare higher than I should have to bring it, you know, and everybody else would just sit down and be, no, it seems pretty normal to me. I have no fucking idea what the deal was. And evidently, I was all crooked up top.

So I got to tell you, that's something that I've learned this year. One of the biggest things I've learned this year is like how medicine, if you go to a shoulder doctor, he's just going to fucking look at your shoulder. You know what I mean? You go to your back dark, he's just looking at your fucking back. But you go to these, these masseuses and people like that, they understand how the whole fucking body works. And they understand like, Oh, this is pulled out of alignment.

And it always comes down to balance where it's like these muscles are too tight and the muscles on the other side are too weak. So this is either pulling this forward or pulling this back, which is causing you to compensate when you walk. And that's like you literally have a problem with your left foot because of your right shoulder. It's fucking amazing. If you get a good one. All right. You go to some rubbing tug place. You're still going to have a crooked back.

But oh, you're going to walk out with a smile on your face. Sorry. All right. I know I haven't been this too funny. All right. I'm going through a lot of shit. All right. Let me, let me read the, um, let me read the, uh, the advertising here for this week.

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Yeah. Like kill a fucking goat or some shit. And I don't know how to turn the grease into a bar of soap. How often would you do? I don't fucking know. You jumped in a river. They just came out with a new line of shower products, shampoo and body wash. Shampoo and body wash called the Wanderer.

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So let's get over the hump here and we'll do this real quick. Tipsy elves. Everybody. You know what? I saw some middle-aged white lady with the Wu-Tang Clan Christmas sweater. I think that sets the bar. It was the classic Christmas sweater pattern with the Wu-Tang W on the front and it was black and yellow, right?

Didn't they used to say killer bees or some shit like that? I don't know. All right. Tipsy elves. Everyone needs an ugly Christmas sweater this time of year. If you want bragging rights for the most talked about sweater at your Christmas party, listen up. Talk about your tipsy elf sweater and other products you saw on their website. Well, you know what?

I didn't look at them. You know what? I'm going to do that this week. I'll do that this week. What the fuck? Here we go. Tipsy elves. I can talk about your fucking sweaters.

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Yeah, this is ugly as shit. Men's Christmas suits. I guess that's if you want to get on TV at a sporting event. Oh my God, dude, I can't even fucking read. What does it say? Belt digger? I thought it said the N word. That's what I first thought it saw.

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That's tipsy elves.com and your code burr. You know you got a bunch of Christmas parties coming up. And if you wear that sweater and you get fucked up, I mean it makes it even funnier. No one's going to get upset, right? Anyways, I've been hanging with my wife. Barely doing any stand up. Just sitting here waiting for the kid to come and poor thing.

She's all really uncomfortable. She's at the point. She's been such a trooper. She's at the point now. She's just like, let's get this kid out of me, right? And last night was the first time I saw kick through this fucking kick. And I do these exercises. You know, I have to help me and do these exercises so she can try to stay limba.

And I just saw like, it was literally like, it was like a foot just fucking kicked the side. I was just like, it's insane. It's insane that there's a goddamn kid in there. It's the most amazing fucking thing. And also like, yeah, just say to your wife like, there's no way for them to convey it to you. It's like, what is it like to have a person in you? There's nothing inside of you.

It's like, can you watch Alien now and just be like, I get it. I totally fucking get it. So anyways, I hung in with her one night, right? And we watched Rudolph the red nose reindeer. Then we watched Frosty the snowman as much as I could watch, you know, I don't get into Frosty the snowman. It's too fucking. That one just gives me anxiety.

You watch Rudolph the red nose reindeer and it's slightly about racism and acceptance. You know what I mean? His own dad is ashamed of him and then he tells him to fuck off and then there's all the misfit toys. There's something going on there. There's like this theme about racism and special needs kids. I don't really, there's just so many fucking other things going on that it's really fucking sad. And you watch it and it's 50 years old and you realize so much hasn't changed. And then if you go right into Frosty the fucking snowman and then here's this adult that's going to get on a fucking choo-choo train with some little girl.

She doesn't tell her parents. She's fucking leave leaving. And then there's the fucking stress that it's going to melt. I was just like, you know what? You got to shut. I can't handle this, right? I can't fucking handle this. It's giving me too much anxiety, right?

And so then we switched over and we watched a little bit of Mary Poppins, which I haven't seen in a long time. But I get all of those movies confused. You know, the supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, is that that one? Chitty, chitty bang bang. It's always some fucking old guy, rich guy whose wife died and now the new hot piece of ass comes in and she shows him how to fucking loosen up. You know what I mean? That role has now been taken over by African Americans, right? They come in and they teach the uptight white dude how to fucking, I don't know, do the electric slide.

I never watched those fucking movies, you know? But back in the day, it was a new fucking, like, chick in the guy's life. But this one, he was, like, married. But it was Dick Van Dyke, you know? By singing Jim Chimney, Jim Chimney, Jim Chim Charoo. The lifer of a fucking sweeper. That's what I want to do, right? They're all fucking happy as hell.

You know, completely romancing blue collar work. Like rich people are all fucking miserable. And these people who are just going to die at 39 fucking miners lung are somehow dancing around up on the roofs, you know, covered in fucking soot. And I got through as much as that as I could get through. And, you know, I bought a Christmas tree and I did all the dishes. I watched all of that shit and, like, you know, the next morning I was going to the Rams game. So everything that I did in the last 24 hours is just completely wiped out. It's fucking unbelievable.

But that's how it works, man. That's how it fucking works. So anyways, oh, here's something that I did not mention as this is something you have to do as a man, especially if you have a wife and a family. You got to get life insurance and I'm doing it this fucking week. I just, you know, lost another friend who didn't fucking have it. And, like, you just, you have to fucking do it. Guys, we don't like dealing with our fucking mortality. I know you've watched enough of the first 48 that you're literally giving your wife a motivation to fucking take you out. You know what I mean?

But you got to do it. You got to fucking do it. So I'm doing that this week. I've just been a brutal fucking week. This week I learned about loss, you know, like I didn't already have enough fucking examples. I got the old fucking right there for this week. Anyways, plowing ahead. How about the fucking Giants? How fucking amazing are the New York football Giants every fucking year?

I've been saying it all year. Eli Manning is bored in September and October and then, oh, we got to fucking win some games here. He just, the guy just comes to fucking life. They beat the fucking Cowboys again. They got this amazing fucking defense. This is, this is what I'm so jealous of as a Patriots fan. I don't fucking get how I was first for going like, why do we always have to get rid of our guys that are becoming stars this year?

Chandler Jones we got rid of. And what's his face? We sent over to the fucking Browns. You know, always for the same shit. A fucking second round draft pick. You know, we got rid of Chandler Jones and what was the other fucking guy's name from fucking Florida University? Whatever. I'm so fucking busy with my wife right now.

I don't even know who the fuck's who right now. But it's just what I hate about the fucking Patriots. Speaking of balance is we have all our money on the offensive side of the ball. All our stars are on the offensive fucking side. And we're forever getting rid of these fucking cornerbacks. Why won't we pay a fucking cornerback all the way back to Thai law and lawyer Maloy? We just constantly get rid of those fucking guys. You know, you watch.

We'll get rid of that fucking kid who picked me that pick in the fucking Super Bowl in Seattle. We'll fucking get rid of him when he wants a contract. I don't fucking get it. Gronk's paid. Brady's paid. I imagine Edelman's going to get paid if he's not paid already. And then nobody on the other side of the fucking ball. It seems like whenever they whenever they do whenever they fuck defense wins fucking championships.

And we fucking a forever doing this. You watch tonight. How many points is Tom Brady going to have to put up on the fucking scoreboard to beat the Ravens who always have a good defense. I fucking love the Ravens. I love the Giants. I love the Steelers. I love those fucking teams that just they always have a great fucking defense. What kills me about the Giants is they got this fucking killer defense and they still have Eli.

They got fucking what's his face there? You know, Jesus Christ, what a fucking diva he is. He's not on the field. He's got to be like, you know, trying to get the crowd going like they're not into the game. I fucking hate that shit. You know, Adele Beckham. It's like, we get it. We get it.

You're a superstar. It's not enough that you'd had a one-headed 90 yard fucking catch. Now you got to be sitting there fucking up on the goddamn stands doing the YMCA dance with the fucking crowd. Literally like the defense is out there shutting down the Dallas Cowboys and the fucking cameras on you because you're fucking doing Christmas carols. With the fucking front section. That drives me up the wall. Right. They got him.

They got they still have enough money for that fucking dude Cruz. It's amazing, but somehow Bill Belichick trades these fucking guys and gets like three or four second round draft picks that eventually mature into these stars. And then we win a title and then it's like then they want their money and then we fucking get rid of them again. So believe it or not, as much as the Patriots are, you know, looked upon as a number one or number two seed, maybe behind the Raiders. I don't know. I haven't watched the last couple of weeks. I know the Broncos lost. I don't know how it fucking works, but you got to think that we're one of the favorites, right?

To go to yet another fucking Super Bowl. But this is actually a rebuilding year for us. That's how great Bill Belichick is. But I think the Patriots lose tonight unless we speak, we got to put up like, I would say like 38 points because Joe Flacco is no fucking slouch. I don't know. I just don't have any fucking faith in it. And I don't think that the Patriots defense stinks. I just think every fucking year they're good guys, you know, one or two guys, it seems gets the old fucking evil.

You know what? The Patriots are really good. We're really good at finding that fucking white dude who for no fucking reason is fucking really fast. The West Welkers, right? The Edelmans, the Amondolas. That's what the fuck we are good at. And the Giants are great at finding fucking those guys that are built like are as fast as a linebacker, but for some somehow other size of a defensive end. They get all of those fucking guys.

They spot them a mile away. Somehow we can't find them, you know? And I think the Ravens in the Steelers, they're really good at just getting those Hall of Fame fucking defensive backs and linebackers. Ed Reeds, Ray Lewis, fucking Steelers, you can name like 50 goddamn fucking people, right? From the fucking Steel Curtain all the way up to Paul Amalo. They just stayed, I don't know. They just fucking good at it. So having said that, I've been also watching my Bruins.

I'm still trying to see where we're working towards. When we sent the entire Stanley Cup winning team, gave, you know, over the course of two and a half seasons, sent every significant player from those teams out the door except for Chara. Chara and Marshawn and Berge. I don't know. I don't see we're a year and a half into this shit. I don't, we're still a fucking eighth seed. This is right where we were last year. And I swear to God, if they make our coach take the fall for this, all right, we better keep him.

And at the end, if we think that this doesn't work out, all right, you definitely keep Claude Julian, you definitely keep Cam Neely, but Michael Connell's got to fucking go. Because he's the guy, as far as I know, he's the guy that fucking did all this shit. I don't know. You know what, the fucking Bruins never want to pay anybody. I'm fucking believable. Dude, Posternack has 18 fucking goals, right? I watched some of the Toronto game yesterday. I know we lost three to one.

I don't know who scored. I missed that part. And he's got 18 fucking goals. Can you imagine if Sagan was there? We would have, we'd have two fucking lines. At least we admit we fucked up when we got rid of Sagan, but whatever. But you know something, the Celtics are looking good. Al Horford is the fucking real deal.

And I think he's a fucking leader. I think he's got, he's like a fucking superstar. And he's not a fucking head case. I'm loving that guy. You know, we got Isaiah Thomas. We got a point card. We got a guy down low who actually can fucking pass the ball. But he's brought the ball up the court as much as everybody's freaking out about what are the Greek Freak there.

The Bucks is a bunch of guys, six foot 11 can do that. I'm a fucking LeBron James. He's been doing everything that that guy does just because he doesn't play the point guard position. Everybody's fucking freaking out, but that guy is amazing. All right. But I don't know. I'm loving what Danny Angels is doing. And I think we're one guy away.

I don't know much about who, whoever that middle guy is between your number one and your number five, the power forward. I don't know what the fuck we need a two or three. I don't know what the fuck it is, but we could just have another guy. Benches. We play great fucking defense. I don't know. Our bench is a little suspect though, right? Kelly Olenek comes in and the other fucking guy who can't swear to God.

I think I could literally beat this guy taking foul shots. He's one of these ones. Like, was it smart? The guy with the fucking blonde hair. Anyway, so let's let's get to some of the questions here for this fucking week here. I got to wrap this up too because the people are putting the punch list guys are coming back to put the finishing touches on the kitchen. Oh, by the way, you know, this is free advertising and a campfire cooktrop top grill. You got to get one dude.

I got one in my backyard. My wife was fight me on that thing. I finally I shut her the f up. I went out and I made she steak and cheese is one of her favorite fucking sandwiches. I went out there. I went on the internet. I looked for a simple fucking recipe. All I did to season the meat was a little Worcestershire sauce and some salt.

That was it. All right. I had white American cheese. My wife isn't into peppers and onions. I was like fine. I sauteed a little bit of mushrooms. I had these fresh French rolls to fucking game over. Game over.

She ate that thing. She didn't have time to say how great it was. She just fucking wolf that thing down. And I was really sitting there like, you know, I need the approval. I'm like, was it good? And she's like, how about the fact that I ate it in a minute? And I couldn't even talk because my mouth was full. So full.

That's how good it was. I was fucking psyched. I haven't even done. I haven't even you can do Rubens on that fucking thing. You can make the whole grand Sam slam breakfast, hash browns, pancakes, bacon, the whole thing. Get the bacon going. Slide the bacon over. You put the hash browns in that fucking grease.

Go fuck yourself. Jason Lawhead already gave it the nickname because I'm bringing it to the Rome Rose Bowl. He calls it the game changer. And he's going to be making Rubens that day. Like he's literally Jay Lawhead is, is a fucking ridiculous cook. He's unbelievable. Right. He's so excited about that thing.

He like dropped his voice like three octaves. I sent him a picture. He was saying, I go, dude, you got to see what I got for the tailgate tailgate this year. He goes, I really do. What'd you get? What'd you get? And I show it to me. He was just like, oh, dude, dude, you got to cook top.

Oh, dude, that's fucking limitless. You can do brats. You can do Rubens. You can do breakfast. And he just started rattling all. I just started laughing. He goes, that thing, that thing is a game changer. It's literally a fucking game changer.

He was, I can't even tell you the ideas that he, because he told me I should put out my own one. He had all these fucking great ideas, but I don't want anybody to steal it. I probably won't put it out anyways, but, um, so, um, uh, steak and cheese is on the, forget about on the diet. By the way, I've done cardio every day this month. All right. 11 days in.

I got day 12 here. I'm telling you, go through the holidays. Just do a fucking half hour cardio every fucking day. All right. And you pick your spots. We eat like a fucking moron eight like a moron yesterday. And today you get right back on it. You know, um, and that way you start the year, you know, you're not a fat fuck.

You don't got that extra 10 to 15. You don't want to deal with that shit. Oh, you know, or whatever. Don't listen to me. Oh, listen to me. Okay. Here we go. Let's get to the emails for this week.

Um, all right. Mom worried about me traveling. Uh, dear Billy's scrotum head. I don't know what that's just fucking mean for me. Uh, my girlfriend and I have been dating for five years now and finally decided to travel abroad together. You taking your brother, bro. Um, she is a seasoned traveler, but I have yet to have traveled internationally.

Well, that's great. She knows what she's doing. Just follow her lead. Uh, we recently purchased tickets to Greece to pop my cherry, uh, sell up slash celebrate her birthday. Um, that's great. Uh, I just told my mom about the trip and a few days later received the texts from her. Very worried about traveling to Greece slash out of the country.

I'm 27 years old. Uh, mom and scared of me getting, uh, you left out some words here, buddy. My mom is scared of me getting killed due to the country's current state and terrorists. My mom took a few days to research all the negative things, unemployment, bankruptcy, et cetera, about Greece to try to dissuade me from going. If she looked up the fucking, is it Santorio Sanarelli? What the fuck? That's Frank Santorio.

It's the comedian. What's that fucking beautiful place you can stay? It's all the, all the buildings are white. It's right on the Mediterranean sea. If she looked that up, she'd be fine. Listen, if you live in America and you just sit in your, if you're going to listen to international news, they're not going to talk to you about great shit. You got to watch the travel channel.

If they're going to show the news, all you're going to hear is bad shit. That's like everybody in, everybody in England thinks everybody like over here weighs 400 pounds and owns 15 guns and you walk down the street with them on your hip. You know what I mean? I see just as many fat fucks in, in fucking great Britain, maybe not as much, but there's a lot of fish and chip eating fucking rotted teeth, dirty, dirty white people out there. Um, but that's all, that's all you're going to know. Tell her to put on the travel channel, send her a couple of fucking links.

All right. Anyways, he goes, I understand that she's worried about her son, but I'm also aware that she lives in a shell and she's never traveled abroad. After hearing on the podcast that you have been to Greece recently, no, I haven't. I want to go there. I went to Italy recently. My question for you is, do you think an average Joe first time parentheses nervous travel like myself will feel safe?

Any words to put me at ease? I would love to hear what you, you have to say good or bad as this will help in my decision. Dude, the greatest fucking thing is you're going, um, with your girlfriend and she's a seasoned traveler. She'll know what the fuck to do. So just follow her lead, but I would encourage you to step out of your shell, learn a couple of phrases. The locals love when you make an attempt to speak their language, even in Paris as much

as they get shit. If you're really fucking trying and you're showing respect for their culture and you're on your best behavior, that's another thing too. When you travel abroad, you're on your best behavior. Unlike all these fucking Europeans, so many of them that come over here, they literally start trashing America to you in the United States of America. It's like, Jesus Christ, what the fuck is wrong with you? You know what I mean?

Like as much as I was just teasing, when I go over there, I'm on my best fucking behavior. All right. I go on stage, I'll tease them a little bit, but in general, I talk about what a great fucking time I'm having there. You can easily pick apart any fucking place that you go to. So anyways, I would learn a couple of phrases. Um, dude, you're going to eat, you're going to have food over there like you've never had here before.

You're going to see things you've never had. You have to swim in the Mediterranean sea. It is fucking life changing. And dude, I'm telling you right now, if you have any sort of stress in your life, if you stay along the Mediterranean from Spain all the way over to Greece, like you can't fucking miss, you know, just all I would say is just watch out for pickpockets. Okay. Those gypsies are, are the fucking Bill Belichick and Tom Brady's of pickpocketing.

I mean, they, it is a fucking art form. They're so good at it. You almost won't be mad. Like how the fuck did they do that? All right. So that's the biggest thing that I would worry about and especially watch your wife with their big, stupid fucking purses and they're all excited and they're fucking looking around. This is what you do.

All right. You make a copy of your passport, okay. Copy your fucking passport and your fucking keep you, you know, have it in the safe at the fucking hotel. All right. Keep it at the hotel. I take my chances with some cleaning lady taking your passport. She ain't going to fucking do that, right?

You have a copy of that. All right. I would definitely wear some sort of fucking like pants that have zippers on them that you can zip that shit shut. And when a bunch of people start coming up to you crowding you, be it on the subway or anything like that, you put your hand on your fucking wallet. You have it right there. I wouldn't have, don't have any fucking thing of value whatsoever.

And I'm telling you right now, this is probably making you fucking nervous or whatever. This is just, this is just, you know, misdemeanor, stealing shit, but will make your life fucking miserable because you're going to have your credit cards and all that type of shit and your money and all of that. It's just, you know, pickpockets is the only fucking thing that I ran into when I was over there. That's the only thing you have to worry about and just really, really be super fucking hyper fucking aware when you're walking up to whatever the fuck touristy thing, what have they got

over there? They have the ruins, all of that shit, you know, you're going to go any, any of that type of stuff. Like in Paris, if you go up to the Eiffel Tower, you have your hands on your shit. And when people come walking up to you, speaking in English, just literally just fucking go no oblo, no oblo, just fucking, if they keep coming at you, just say, get the fuck away from me. I'm telling you right now, if you just tell them to get the fuck away from you, any of

those fucking broads coming up to you, they want to, you know, you're at the Eiffel Tower. What are you going to, you stand in line, you go in the Eiffel Tower, get the fuck away from me. They're coming up there to steal from you and watch out for their kids. That's the only fucking thing because they are fucking tremendous at it. That's all the, anytime you walk out of there and I would also, the next advice I'd give you is, um, like just bring carry on. I didn't even say that to your wife to just bring your girlfriend, just bring carry on.

You're going to wear the same fucking t-shirt and shorts basically every goddamn day. No one's going to give a fuck. You're on vacation, flip flops and all of that type of shit. Okay. All I can say is just like, you know, under pack. If you want to buy, um, if you want to buy like some touristy shit, you know what I love? I love magnets.

I love those patches, those flags that you're going to sew onto a coat or some shit. You know, you have the memories. You have the pictures. What are you going to, you know, you go out and buy some wooden shoes and a big beer stein. If you want to buy some shit like that, ship it back. Do that. Just go there.

Have a good time. Watch your fucking valuables when you're around fucking, if you're on the subway or in, if you're near anything touristy, other than that, have a great fucking time, chill out, eat the best fucking food you ever going to fucking have and swim in the Mediterranean sea and you'll have those memories for your whole fucking life. It's the greatest fucking thing. And I feel bad for your mom that she's never traveled outside of the country because it's a great thing.

All right, clingy girlfriend, clingy girlfriend, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump. Hey Bill, as you may have read from the title of this email, I am dealing with a clingy girlfriend. We've been dating for three months now and pretty much have only known each other. What? We've been dating for three months now and pretty much have only known each other for three months now. So it's a pretty new relationship.

Okay. So I get it. You didn't work with her. Gradually work up the balls. You saw her and you said, bitch, you're coming with me and she was like, oh my God, he's so direct. Okay. Anyways, as I've gotten deeper in the relationship, I've started to notice more and more red flags.

I'll tell you this right now. If you start noticing more and more red flags, three months in, I already have my finger on the fucking eject button personally, this far into your email. Okay. Four. For example, she gets mad and starts crying if I want to go to the gym by myself and not bring her up. Fuck this, over, over, over, over, fucking over.

Or if I don't reply to her texts within five minutes, she calls me and asks me why I haven't answered. She's even already said, I love you to me. I actually said it back when we were having sex accidentally said, I love you. Only a guy can say that. And now she says it back to me all the time and I haven't, and I have to say it back because I don't want to break her heart and tell her that I don't feel the same way. Well, you already have, you already have.

All right. Just give her a three month broken heart. Get out, dude. Get out. I've even tried to break up with her like a week ago. Get out. Get out. And she started to have a breakdown saying how much she needed me and how she can't live

with that. Get out. Get out. Get out of here. So I told her that we could just stay together because I felt bad. All right, dude, you've basically already broken up with her. And she goes, she also just randomly flat out said that she can see us together forever. I don't know why I'm noticing all these things now, but I'm only 19 years of age.

Well, there you go, dude. To be honest, I still, sorry, the fuck is going on with my throat here screen too much yesterday. And to be honest, I still want to live the bachelor lifestyle and not be in a relationship. Dude, you know, all the answers to your question trial, the different fish in the sea. I'm sorry if I sound douchey, but I just really need help here, but I don't know what to do. Thanks Bill and come back to, I'm not even going to say the name of the state. This chick's such a psycho.

Yeah, dude, this is what I would do. And I'm taking this from Al Madrigal, the great Al Madrigal, who no one knows how to end shit like him. If you listen to any of our live ATC podcast, he worked in his family business and at your age 19, he was already, he was the hatchet man. He fired adults and he told me one time, the best way to get out of a relationship. Okay. And this is for everybody, dude, if you have a woman in your life and you have to break

up with it, they are going to drag you through the shit. Okay. If you want to expedite the deplaning process, if she has anything over your apartment, get it all together, put it in a box, call her, say we need to talk, you show up with the box, you handle the box, you tell her it's fucking over, right? You let her cry, you fucking leave. Now if she has keys to your place, you don't even need to ask for them back. You already have changed the locks.

If she offers to give you the keys back, you take them, but you never offer the information that you have changed the fucking locks. It's out. It's over. It's done. Dude, rip this bandaid off. That's your fucking Christmas gift. And anybody out there right now, male or female, if you're in a relationship you don't want

to be in, fucking do it, do it fucking tonight. Get your box together, change your fucking locks, end the shit. Your Christmas gift. Don't go to another fucking family event, someone else's family that you don't want to fucking be with. You owe it to yourself. Get the fuck out of it. I see girlfriend.

Hey, Billy, oh, I lived with my girlfriend for the past few years and I tried and failed repeatedly, repeatedly to get her to tidy up after herself. She lives like a borderline slub with piles of her shit everywhere on most available surfaces. Instead of putting stuff away after herself, she'll just leave it out for days. Most days I'll come back from work and the bed will be piled high with clothes and the dump contents of handbags, et cetera in the in the evening. Very underrated zeppelin song, by the way, this will be off. This will often just get moved to the sofa and then in the morning move back to the bed.

Every cover and drawer is piled full of her shit. I have a couple of small spaces for my belongings everywhere else is full of clothes. She hasn't worn for months, parentheses, question mark years, dozens of handbags purchased. She doesn't purses. She doesn't use bits of paper cards. She keeps she's keeping for who knows what dozens of beauty products she get the picture. I do try to keep things tidy at best I can for my own sanity, but it would be nice to have not not to have to nag her every so often to just tidy up after after self.

I keep I if I kept pissing on the toilet seat and she kept telling me how annoying it was. I think she'd be right in thinking what the what the hell is wrong with this dude. Tidying up after yourself is about respect for the other person or people you live with. I know the whole except me for who I am bullshit and all and all that, but come on. I was wondering what you're you are you're the lovely Nia's Nino's thoughts on this are. Well, I'll tell you this dude, that's not going to get any better. She's selling you got a small time hoarder on your lot on your hands here.

What about if you get married and have kids? So you got to you got to ask yourself right now, are you going to marry this person? If you're not pack up your own box and get the fuck out of there and already have an apartment ready to go. By the way, you pack up your box, you bring the shit over to the fucking apartment while she's at work, then you call her, you say, listen, we need to talk and then you get the fuck out of there. You say I'm going for a drive, you drive over to your new apartment and then you call her

up from a pay phone and you say, by the way, when I said I was going for a drive, what I really should have said was I just moved out. Good luck to you. And you know, let's let's try and win in Chicago and you hang up. You go a little Robert Kennedy there, right? It's fucking over. I can tell you right now, dude, I couldn't tolerate that. I couldn't tolerate living with the fucking slob.

There's no I fucking hated that when I lived when I had guy roommates. I was, I never understood that, like how guys thought it was funny to have like fucking pizza boxes and all this, like living like a fucking animal. It's like, guys, we live here. It's fucking gross. So you have to decide if you love this person enough to accept this part of them or you have to, or maybe you throw down an ultimatum. Like if there's no fucking way, I'm living my life like this.

This is completely unacceptable. You have way too much shit. You need to throw out at least 70% of your shit. Okay. And if she gives you a rough time and just say, listen, you either that shit is going out the door or I am, are you saying that you're choosing that over me? Yes. Yes.

Cause I'm telling you right now, I am not going to be happy. Are you telling me that you love your fucking bags more than you love me? Just turn that stupid psych psychology shit right back on him. Get it the fuck out of here. It gets the fuck out or I get the fuck out. And then you put on some Christmas music. Have a lovely, jolly Christmas. Right.

All right. Here we go. Next one. Three Stooges. Hello, Mr. Burr. I was wondering who your favorite, who's your favorite stooge? I know most people are curly fans, but I've always been a shemp fan.

Any who have a good day. Um, shemp is unbelievably underrated. The fact that he had to follow curly and curly wasn't bad health slash, I think might have died during his tenure. Um, I loved shemp, uh, but curly, curly is the best. But Larry, Larry's under fucking rated too. Larry's fucking hilarious. And Mo was the bully.

I could never get into Mo because I had an older brother and I was just like, yeah, fucking asshole. I used to love it every once in a while when Mo would lose one of those little slap battles, but, um, I loved all of them and people always say, you know, you're either a Stooges fan or you like the Marx brothers. I fucking hated the Marx brothers. I thought they were boring as shit. I bet if I got, if I'm now that I'm older, maybe I'd enjoy it more.

But, um, I don't know. I just thought it was clever shit with three Stooges was just fucking. It was hilarious. They were just beating the fuck out of each other. And, uh, I don't know. It's clever as a joke is, is there anything funnier than seeing somebody walking into a fucking window or falling down a flight of stairs? There's nothing funnier than watching somebody hurt themselves.

Um, I don't know. Maybe I'm just, maybe I'm just not smart enough. Oh, you know what? I should look at the Marx brothers before I trash them. I will tell you that one guy could fucking play the harp like nobody. Huh? All right. MVT and let's read a little advertising.

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Uh, it'll be packed with everyone mailing holiday gifts and packages. So do what I do. You stamps.com instead with stamps.com. You can void all the season, all the hassles of the season, man. Going to the post office during the busy holidays, right? Then the mailman, all the bailman comes by, picks it up. I use stamps.com to send out all my posters and all of that shit. Um, and my gifts, fuck it.

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and type in burr that stamps.com enter burr. All right. That is the podcast for this week. I hope you guys enjoyed it. It's been a brutal week for me. You know, I'm very happy that we were able to find a new home for my dog. They've already sent us texts and pictures and she's totally fine. And it's, you know, I'm glad that we didn't have to, you know, I was,

there was no fucking way any that that dog was not going to continue on living. She's had an amazing life. She's lived like three different books. And, um, me and my wife were happy to be what we do seven and a half years with her. And, um, I love her to death. I'm going to miss her like hell, but I had to do it because, you know, the alternative was going to be something horrible. And I did not want to have to fucking live through that, um, but I am devastated.

And, um, I would appreciate it if you don't send me any fucking insensitive tweets about it, because I'm really on the ropes right here. All right. That's the podcast. Go fuck yourselves and check in on you on Thursday. In the Berging, in the keuken, Zals in the living. Zulige echt overal die legebate rijen.

Maar nu gaan we tot de finish. Brengt ze dus snel naar een B-Bat-eenzame op punt. Je vindt er altijd eentje in je buurt op B-Bat.be. B-Bat. Samen recycleren, beter voor de natuur en voor ons allemaal. Kampagne in samenwerking met de oven.