Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 12-19-22
Episode Date: December 20, 2022Bill rambles about the Patriots loss, hearing loss, and airline pilots. Butcher Box: Sign up today at www.butcherbox.com/BURR and use code BURR to get $20 off your first box and ground beef for the l...ife of your membership. Indochino: Get 10% off any purchase of $399 or more. Use promo code BURR at www.Indochino.com SimpliSafe: Claim a free indoor security camera plus 20% off your order with Interactive Monitoring at www.simplisafe.com/BURR
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr, and it's time for the Monday Morning Podcast
from Monday, December 19th, 2022. Almost the end of 2022. What's going on? How are
you? Oh my God. Jesus Christ. I mean, what do I even talk? Is there anything else to
talk about other than that game yesterday? Bill, there's a lot of things to talk about.
You can talk about the World Cup. Evidently, it was the greatest final of all time. I missed
it, missed most of it, then I watched the end of it, and even that part was exciting.
I watched. I don't even know what part I watched. I guess they do the penalty kicks in the end
because everybody's tired. They couldn't just keep running around out there. Is that
what it is? It was amazing. There's a lot of people that think I actually don't like
that sport or that I really don't understand it or anything like that. The reality is,
I just like getting you guys going. I keep telling you this, these fucking idiots. I'm
sitting there tweeting and going like, I mean, at the end of the day, I could hit a penalty
kick. You know, these fucking people, just look. Actually, you couldn't. You think you
could, but you couldn't. Your love fucking hurt. It's like, dude, I would be lucky if
I hit the fucking ball and didn't fall on my back. I'm just fucking around. Congratulations
to Argentina. You know, not only do they win their first one since I want to say 86. Is
that what it was? They won it in 78 and 86. That's right. Congratulations to them. And
I always, I love everybody in South America because they like the same bands I do. They
fucking, they go nuts when they go to the AC DC and guns and roses and all those bands
I like. Motley Crue and they fucking go bananas. So good for them. You guys know I love France.
I was kind of, I didn't carry the way to be honest with you. France wanted to be great
to see first person repeat in a while. I will say that I am jealous of soccer fans. I just
have to pause this. Oh, blimey mate is fucking football. Right. Yeah. That can't. Fuck stock
force. I don't give a fuck. It's called soccer over here because we already have something
called football. We already do. Why do you call it football? I don't know. I don't know. Why over
here if I say I've bummed out, it means I had a bad day. But over in England, it means I got
fucked in the ass because things are different. You know, what are you English cunts going to
get over that and stop making the same point every 5,000 fucking times. They fucking, you know,
one of my favorite stories about not knowing what was going on in the world is some politician
went to some country and he showed up as well as old school things. When you pull up in the plane,
you get off a tarmac and there's a bunch of people buying a chain link fence like the Beatles were
doing their first tour. Right. And he gets off the fucking plane and everybody waves to him and he
gives him the thumbs up sign. Right. Because that means like, all right, way to go. We're all together.
But in that country, it meant up yours. I sound like Keith Richards. I know.
Oh, fuck. Jesus Christ.
How funny is that? That's just like, you know,
maybe like if somebody from another country got off and we all cheered, hey,
the leader of Bolivia is here and he gets off the plane. This gives us all the finger.
Did you go from chair and for like, what the fuck? I've never liked the,
I've talked about this before. Who is that fucking Russian Richard Nixon looking guy?
Boris Karloff. What the fuck was his name? He was before Gorbachev. Gorbachev.
He looked like droopy dog as a dictator. Brezhnev. Was that his name?
Russians always have those names where you just like, I wouldn't fuck with that guy.
Gorbachev. Brezhnev. Right.
Yeah. When he came to some historic agreement, I guess, I think it was Nixon, when he went to get,
when he came out to celebrate, he made that class like the champ used to, where you, you,
you basically grab both your hands, you shake it to the right of the ear,
into the left of the ear, and to him that meant like togetherness.
And we were all like, does this fucking commie pinko think he wants something?
Anyway, so this is where I'm at. Now I caught a cold. It's just,
but everything is done though. Everything is done. I am completely worn out and run down and
all of that shit. You know what's funny? There's somebody was telling me like, dude,
you got to get one of those fucking IV bags with the fucking, you know, the vitamin solution in it
and all that shit. So I did it. And they say it's going to kick in today. So I am still waiting.
I'm still waiting for it to kick in. I'm waiting for that boost to energy. I'm hoping it's going to work.
Yeah. Look at me. I'm a fucking mess. I got goddamn IV tubes going in and out of me.
But here's the thing. My tour is done. The movie is done. And my patriots are done.
Jesus fucking Christ. Just when you thought the biggest sports story
was that Argentina won the World Cup. Ah, that's on the back pages here in America.
They're putting that out there with the fucking women's volleyball.
The fucking New England Patriots. I was at the game, man. I was there, man.
And what I hate is that whole game is going to, they're going to talk about the lateral play.
Why would you do it? The game was tied. Just step out of bounds. What was fucking Myers thinking?
Throwing it back to
Matt Jones. Like what was Matt Jones going to fucking do? I mean, you saw when he did that naked bootleg.
He knew he wasn't getting the first down. He was like serpentine and just trying to run out,
run fucking time off the clock and all of that. Oh, they threw it back. And that's all they talk about.
Really stupid fucking thing. I'm telling you, dude, it's a fucking defense that we put in on
that final drive when they caught that touchdown that looked like he was out of bounds. But we'll
never know. We'll never know because the NFL, despite the fact of making billions and billions
of fucking dollars a year, just for some reason, cannot get a fucking video camera on the sidelines.
They just cannot fucking do it. They can't get a camera lined up right on the goal line. It's
always at a fucking angle. You can't quite tell. Why is that? And why wouldn't they zoom in? Is it
all pixelated? Like it's a YouTube video that was uploaded in 2006. Why is that? Because it looked
to me like that guy was out of bounds. But with the pixelation, it's like, well, is that the out
of bounds line or is that his cleats? His cleats are white. The call on the field was that it was
a catch. So they made the right call in that they had to go with that call. But it looked like it
was fucking wrong. But when they zoomed in, there was no way to tell. Why is that people?
But that's not even what I'm mad about. What I'm mad about is David Carr, one of the few people
in the world that actually has a noticeably bigger head than me, was not able to move the ball at all
in the second half at all. And I was saying to my buddies, I was going, the MPP, the MPP of this
fucking guys, you got a fucking game ball for the Raiders is their goddamn punter. That guy is a
fucking all pro. He was he put on a fucking clinic, a fucking he kept pinning us down. They couldn't
move the ball. He kept pinning us down on the other side of the field. And he would kick these
booming puns that hung up there so long, one of his own guys actually caught one of the puns on
the fucking one yard line. It was literally their strategy. They were just like, well, we can't score
at this point. But you know, our offense is so fucking predictable and anemic for whatever reason
that they're only going to maybe get one first down 15 yards total, and they're going to have to
punt again. And we'll just keep keep eating up the clock. That's what the Raiders were doing.
The Raiders like, we can't move the ball. Patriots can't move the ball. Let's just keep
having are the second coming of Ray guy just keep booting it down the other side of the field.
It was I actually really enjoyed whoever that puncher is number six, that fucking guy is the
shit. Right. So the reality is, is you can only do that for so long. You let somebody in the game
and eventually you let up a big play, they go down and they fucking score. So we tie the fucking
game or what? I don't even know what we did. We went ahead. Oh, it was a whirlwind. It was a whirlwind
of emotion of emotion. I am in a glass box of sports gambler emotion. I had the Patriots minus
one by the way. Meanwhile, I'm watching the game. Chandler Jones, yet another great draft pick for
the Patriots that we didn't want to play was just fucking up our shit all day. I remember we had
this screen pass and people looking like in the crowd like, dude, what the fucking pass is that's
Matt Jones. It's like you didn't see Chandler Jones right in the middle of it. So he had to throw
the fucking Robert Parris foul shot over him. He fucked that whole play up. The guy was an absolute
beast, right? It was very apropos. If I could say that word with my pinky out as I sip on a fucking
cup of tea here that he intercepted the ball, but it just ran over Matt Jones. Other people,
why did they tackle him? Because fucking Chandler Jones is an X-man. Maybe that's why because he
could fucking lower his shoulder and Superman would get knocked back and they'd at least bring
out the chains. I'm not saying Superman wouldn't stop him. It'd be funny watching Superman arguing
the spot. Actually, he wouldn't because he's a superhero and he's just so fucking better than
everybody. So anyway, my problem with that fucking game is that David Carr, look at the big brain on
brand, could not move the goddamn ball down the field the whole fucking time. And you know what,
when we went ahead and we scored that touchdown, fucking Raiders fan behind me was hilarious.
He was going, God damn it, we do this every fucking week. And he was just, he was spiraling down,
catastrophizing. I said, buddy, I said, buddy, don't worry about it. I go, don't worry about it.
We're going to go into a prevent defense. And we're just going to give up the field in four
plays down to the 20 yard line. And you're going to get four shots at the end zone. I'm not saying
you're going to win, but you're going to get four shots at the end zone. And then he goes, dude,
don't fucking out negative me about my, you know, I'm doing the negative thing. And I said, dude,
I'm showing solidarity. So we both laugh. And what are the pages to they didn't go into like
a prevent, they went into, I think, you know, like a soft zone over the middle and just sort of gave
up the middle of the field. And all of a sudden David Carr, God bless the big headed fella who
couldn't move the fucking ball goes right down the fucking field. Bang, bang, bang. This is him.
Yeah, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. If they had played defense like they had the rest of the game,
that wouldn't have happened. Very good. Little reservoir dogs for you, bad version, but whatever.
He goes right down the fucking field like he's Joe Montana.
All right. And then they get that now they have their four shots at the fucking end zone.
And then they get one great throw. Great catch. What is this? Oh, these traveling salesmen just
love to set the alarm. Who sets an alarm for 11656 am? Coke head. This guy cheated on his wife.
I'm in Vegas right now. You know what? This is the thing when you can't figure out how to
there we go. You just unplugged it and it's still ring. Oh, there we go.
I thought I had to go and find the app.
Go into settings and click on what the fuck is wrong with my alarm.
Anyway, so unlike the second play, I think, I don't know. On the second play, they fucking
great pass, great catch, really close. Didn't look like it was in. God knows I'm biased,
but I will say this. There was a right call that they didn't fucking reverse that.
Didn't reverse the call because with that fucking picked, you know, those fucking
douches on the internet who just recycled jokes was just filled with the potato, right?
Like how many times did they use that joke?
There was definitely there was when they zoomed in on it, I'm like, it still looks like he's out,
but there's no way that's conclusive. And the longer it was taken, you know, my buddies are
going like, this isn't good. If they came right back, it's, you know, this is going to be,
this is not going to be good for us. Like I was hearing innocent verdict comes back quick, guilty,
takes a little bit longer. So that was it. And then that other bullshit that just happened,
I mean, I mean, I don't even want to say that was like fucking the Benny Hill show.
But my real thing is I am thoroughly convinced people have been saying it for years. I really
believe that the preventive events, the soft zone, whatever you want, whatever you want to call it
is a marketing plan by the NFL to make games that are over, not over games where you could just fucking,
you know, if they just play defense, you know, they're going to go, I mean,
you got to get a foreign out, which is hard. But if you're fighting for every fucking yard,
well, what if he gets behind you, they got behind you the whole half? You think that was a fucking
fluke? I am 100% convinced that they go into that thing. So every game becomes three, two, one,
what the fuck. And that the rate, I bet I am, I am, I'm jaded. I'm not going to lie to you,
I am jaded. I'm in this fucking business. And I know all these entertainment like anything
else, all they give a fuck about is the dollar. And I bet some fucking nerds, some fucking nerds
went in there and they said the problem is a lot of these games are over with like seven minutes left.
You know, so advertisers, they don't want to play top dollar for this point in the game.
See, our peak advertising dollar is between the 10 minutes into the first quarter in 7.3 minutes
Can we somehow make the whole game like that?
What can we do? All right. And it was a, I don't think this is literally fixed, but I just really
believe that this whole thing, this, this air court, we need to protect quarterbacks. They don't
give a, they're only protecting quarterbacks because they know if the starting quarterback
is out, the average football fan isn't interested. Kyler Murray goes down. No one wants to see
that Colt McCoy is actually a fucking really good quarterback. They know because the star
isn't in there. So they protect the quarterback. They make all of these fucking rules to make it
easier to score. So the passive fan Washington watches it. And I think it's all like the NBA.
Everything is like finessed to have it have the most dramatic ending ever because I'm sure I'm
just paranoid. I'm sure this comes off as sour grapes. I'm not taking anything away from the
rate is because 100% we deserve to lose that game. 100% that game was not fixed. But I just
somebody who, who actually coaches. Okay. Cause I'll sit there and I'll just throw out numbers
be like 80% of the time you go to the prevent defense. They go right down the field to get
four shots at the end zone. And they'll probably say, well, actually it's more like 37% or 42%
of the time. It just feels like 80% of the time because you're an emotional lunatic and I'll go
with that. All right. But my thing is 37% is still really high. Like what, what named one fucking
thing that they do during the game that has a 37% failure rate. If a pass had a 37% chance of getting
picked off, they wouldn't fucking throw it. But at the end of so many of these fucking games,
they just give it up. We're not going to play defense to you down to like the 30
or the 25 yard line. Then we're going to play the D that was stopping you for the whole game.
That's what we're going to try until then. We're just going to try to keep you, you know,
don't even protect the sideline. I don't know. I want to talk to somebody in the NFL some
point in this podcast and ask them why they can't get a camera right on the goal line cameras right
on the sidelines. I mean, you literally have a camera going down the field on a fucking wire.
You got people on those other ones on those forklift cameras running over people at SoFi Stadium,
right? You got that shit going on. All right. They make glasses now that have cameras on them.
You can be talking to somebody. They're literally filming you.
I mean, it's a perverts world. There's fucking cameras everywhere. There's cameras literally
everywhere. I saw a fucking thing with these, this father and son went into the fucking wilderness
and they came upon these hibernating bears and it's illegal to shoot them and these pieces of
shit shot them and shot the cubs too. The guys like, that's how we roll middle of nowhere in
this fucking forest, Montana, Alaska. I don't know where the fuck it was. Guess what? It ended
up being on film because some rangers had put a fucking camera in the goddamn tree
to try to look at the fucking hibernation habits of a goddamn bear. They got caught
and whatever the fuck happened happened to them. That was on film. However, a touchdown
in an NFL game that the footage of undeniably where his foot was and where it was, it just
does not exist. Why is that? All right. And then the rest of you can fucking play Benny Hill music
under the fucking lateral and all of that shit. That's just the biggest bonehead play maybe ever.
That's the biggest bonehead play I've seen since that guy in the Saints, for some reason, took his
eyes off that receiver and dove into his own player and lost the game. That is arguably,
I will say this about Chandler Jones runs over our guy and at the 10 yard line is holding the
ball out before he even crosses the goal line. Like how many times does the Don BB have to come
down and slap it out of you? It would have been hilarious if he actually spiked it before he got
in there. To me anyway. So all right. Here's the upside as a Patriots fan. I believe that
eliminated us from the playoffs, which is fantastic. So maybe we can draft,
get a better draft pick. And this whole experiment where we couldn't call Matt Patricia or hire a
offensive coordinator, because if we did, then the lines didn't have to pay for it. Like whatever
this, this is like, you know, our whole game plan this year was like an old lady going to the
supermarket. Well, you know, she's pulling out all the coupons. We don't want to pay for an
offensive coordinator. So we're going to call Matt Patricia, our matriot D real estate agent in
charge of feelings when we have the ball, whatever his fucking title is, does not seem to be working.
So I don't know what to tell you with that. With that, that is the, that is, that is my
standup comedian has not played organized football since the seventies take on what the fuck I saw
there. I eventually I want to get a coach on my podcast to explain to me to talk me off the fucking
cliff that I want to just, I would just need to be talked off the ledge and convince me that the
prevent defense soft zone over the middle is the way to go at the end of a fucking game.
That if you want to win the game, the way to win the game is to stop playing fucking defense
until you get to your own 20 yard line.
I, you know, whatever.
I, okay, upside. I went to the rager stadium again, which is fucking amazing. I was there with all
my high school buddies. I used to hang out with dude, the fucking Boston accents. I was so bummed,
my, my wife wasn't there, bummed so many things right now. He got fucked in the ass in Vegas.
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, mate. Was it a penalty kick? Did you dive the right way?
We were driving over to the stadium and I never noticed how many casinos had an R for the last
name. All this year, dude, you ever been at the X caliber? Nah, dude, isn't that owned by C?
Think they the fucking Luxa. I think it's the fuck.
God damn fucking phone, man. I swear to fucking Christ.
Fuck off. I don't want to fucking answer the phone call.
Jesus Christ, remind me, but will it remind me in an hour? I have to fucking get back to you.
Jesus fucking Christ. Do you know I'm standing in this fucking goddamn casino, right? I fucking
go to call room service. They don't even answer the phone. They tell me I have to go to a website
and leave my phone number to get a goddamn BLT.
How is that easier? Why can't I just have a menu? Where is the menu? Is it on the TV?
Do I have to point my phone at something?
I know. I sound like a fucking old guy right now, but I'm telling you, I'd like this whole thing,
like now you have my phone number. And then what are you going to do? We can use that as a revenue
stream to sell it to somebody else. I'm trying to have a fun time here after the goddamn
taking this fucking loss here. Yeah, my friends are going over there going like,
yeah, I think it's all by season. I thought it was all by Luxa.
He pulled up to the stadium. That stadium, is that amazing? Yeah, shop.
And I also, you know, the greatest fans dress up as characters, the best one ever. We ran into the
guy that dresses up like Al Davis. I mean, his shape of his head, the way he combs his hair,
he dresses all in white with the black sneakers. And then he's got the granny chains with the
glasses. Yeah, me and my buddies all got a picture with the guy. He's got like the
Super Bowl ring. He has like his energy. And it was awesome because we were like the Raiders
facility was playing that old school NFL films. You know, that remember that trumpet song?
They used to show the highlights. They were playing that and this fucking guy comes walking out
dead ringer for Al Davis. And we all went nuts like Sharon for him. And he at first he went like,
yeah, then you saw your Patriots fans that he gave us the finger. We all laughed. You're like,
buddy, can we get a picture with you? He goes, that'd be great. So shout out to whoever that
guy is. That guy to me wins the title. He should just walk around like that with NFL films,
music playing. It's just, it's just fucking amazing. So anyway, I guess I got to use some
reads now. Sorry guys, I'm really not this upset about a stupid ass football game. It's just I'm
so fucking sick of being sick. And I'm finally getting off the goddamn road. All right, let me
just do some of the reads here. Right here, we click on this. Oh, the live reads. Oh, look
what it is, everybody. It's butcher box. But your box takes the guesswork out of finding high quality
meat and seafood you can trust 100% grass fed beef, free range organic chicken that doesn't
fucking lateral on the last play of the game of a tie game, pork raised, crate free, wild con,
Alaskan salmon. You don't know what it's going to do is they're going to throw it back to fucking
Mack Jones. He mainly raised no antibiotics or added hormones. Get just what you want delivered
right to your doorstep free shipping like the free victory we gave the Raiders for the continental
US and no surprise fees. No surprises. I would like that after you say enjoy a range of high
quality cuts that are hard to come by at the grocery store at an amazing value exclusive member
deals so you can save big on your favorite cuts, recipes, inspiration, guides, tips and hacks.
Some are even personalized. You can cook up mouthwatering meals. I love knowing my freezer is
full of quality food for my family. This holiday season is made better and tastier with butcher
box for limited time. They're offering our listeners ground beef for life and $20 off your first order.
Sign up today at butcherbox.com slash burr and use code burr to get $20 off your first box and
ground beef for life of your membership. That's butcherbox.com slash burr and use the code burr
B U R R. All right. Look who it is everybody. So Indochino find the perfect suit. Finding the
perfect suit is impossible, but finding a suit that's perfect for you is simple. Thanks to Indochino.
I don't even know what that means. Finding the perfect suit is impossible, but finding a suit
that's perfect for you is simple. I'm not perfect. Like a perfect suit is impossible, but we can get
a suit for you. Choose your favorite fabric and customize every detail to find the look that's
perfect for you. Submit your measurements online or get measured in store for a custom made for
you fit at an incredible price. And with their fall collection featuring new colors and premium
fabrics, you'll be in style all season long. Every Indochino suit is made for just you. It is
tailored. It's a tailored experience at a great price designed to look design a look that suits
you perfectly from the fabric to the cut shop. They're made for you suits starting at just $449
and premium fitted shirts starting at just $89. You can fine tune every detail lapels,
linings, monograms and more get a premium personalized wardrobe without spending a fortune.
Shop customized fitted suits, casual wear, outerwear and more outerwear. What is what the
fuck is out there always adding I don't underwear is outerwear. I mean pants. They're always adding
new designs and fabrics up. Still coffee on my fucking outerwear. There's always they're always
adding new designs and fabric options like their latest fall collection. You get canceled for that.
They're not called pants anymore. They're called outerwear. You sit fucking slack wearing douche
ready to elevate your look even further. Indochino lets you make any suited tux design your perfect
suit with Indochino get 10% off any purchases of $3.99 or more use the promo code burr at
Indochino.com. That's I N D O C H I N O dot com promo code burr.
All right. Oh, simply safe. Did you know that property crimes like burglaries and packaged
thefts spike over the winter? Oh my God, you haven't seen those videos where those pieces of shit
just come walking up. I mean, I swear to God. I mean, that's when you just wish you could see
a pit bull with a bad owner and the results of that. That's why now is the time to secure your
home with award winning home security. Simply, you know what they should start doing is they
should just they put the fake passages packages out there. They should just start tasing people
and they just find like and just have like Cuban cigars. The fact that I know most 99.9% of them
are fake. I don't even try to get one anymore. If they would just taste 99.9% of the people
try to steal a package that would be over. Simply safest. The home security system I recommend.
All right. I recommend it. Make it your resolution to start the new year with great
greater peace of mind and safety for you and your family. Simply safe was named the best home
security system of 2022. This happens almost every year by US News and World Report a third
year in a row. It's a dynasty and an emergency 24 seven professional monitoring agents use fast
protect TM technology exclusively from Simply Safe to capture critical evidence and verify the
threat is real so you can get priority police response. Simply safe is the whole home security
with advanced sensors for every window and door HD security cameras for inside and out,
smarter ways to detect motion that alert you only when a threat is real and even hazard
sensors that detect fires, floods and other threats to your home. 24 seven professional
monitoring services cost under a dollar a day less than half the price of ATD traditional
professionally installed system with top rate simply safe app with the top rate simply safe
app stay in control complete control of your system anytime anywhere arm or disarm unlocked for a
guest access your camera or adjust system settings customize the perfect system for your home in
just a few minutes at simply safe dot com slash burr go today and claim a free indoor security
camera plus 20% off your order with interactive monitoring that's s m i p l i s a f e dot com
slash burr simply safe dot com slash burr there's no safe like simply safe um all right well with
that let's let's do the reads here I apologize I feel like I was extra grumpy but sometimes I
know a lot of you guys enjoy listening to me completely lose my ship over fucking alarms
or whatever just a bit on the road to love that song all right bottled it origin oh here we go
this is from one of these fucking English cunts over there I was just assumed it's from England
you know because they always writing because for some reason they they just want to still
feel relevant even at like the podcasting level I'm just fucking with you hey Billy baked bean
bonds I hope you you're you're well and set up for Christmas with the family I was listening to
your podcast on my drive to work on Tuesday and you mentioned the origin of the term bottled it
yeah it's one of these poor bastards you know just miss the net
on a penalty kick I guess this is based on something called cockney rhyming slang
which is was a way of speaking in code that I believe came from the dock workers in the east
side of London back in the day the term I use what I don't actually know
when it was
anyone from east London is referred to as a cockney the way it works is that instead of
saying the word you want to say you have two words that are associated with one another
and the two words rhyme with the actual word you wanted to say that sounds like a pig latin thing
you then only say the first word of the two when you're using it to disguise what you're saying
lost yet all right this is not fucking calculus I'm a for example lost his bottle actually
means lost his arse yes what I'm saying last week I read this because the cockney rhyming slang
for the arse is bottle and glass
okay
certainly in England a lot of people use cockney rhyming slang without realizing if you want to draw
someone's attention to something you will often hear have a butcher at this
and that comes from butcher's hook equaling look
it seems like a long way to go to say look
is this like east London's Yiddish because I never realized how much Yiddish I use
although we don't use a lot of cockney shit you can have multiple cockney rhyming slang words
in one sentence which makes things even more confusing okay so in other words these guys
would do with some illegal shit
jesus christ
um all right I know what you guys are thinking why don't you go see a doctor because I'm German
Irish it's all right we just fucking ride shit out that's how it works I got a fucking IV yesterday
right I feel better except for my fucking nose in this miners cough that I have
um I got I got that RSVP respiratory virus maybe I don't know what the fuck is
um I don't know what it is but I blame the liberals that's actually not true it's because
you guys out in your red star have a butcher at her okay I got uh okay I got to pop up
the apples to grab my dog all right let me guess what that means I got to pop up to my apples to
grab my dog that means I got to get the balls to beat the shit out of this country uh this means
I got to pop upstairs to grab my phone why would you need to disguise that apples and pairs stairs
dog and bone phone
bro I got to pop up the apples to grab my dog
okay it's quite an interesting style of speech it really is and it's involved over the years
with some rhyming slang being modernized in the 90s boat race evolved to Chevy Chase meeting face
so you would say I got Harry all over her Chevy Chevy if you look up the coffee rhyming slang for
Harry all I know is I hope I never do a show in east London because I'm not going to understand
the heckles all right definitely something looking into worth looking into as it's quite
interesting it is but maybe not as bad officials learning French unless you plan on doing a set
and cocking rhyming slang in the near future no I don't I would never attempt to do that
love the podcast to stand up at all your work have a great festive period thanks for all the
bubbles and go fuck yourself bubbles rhymes with troubles um thanks for all the troubles
are you shitting on bubbles troubles Barney rubble you're from the stone fan I can't figure it out
all right episode family graffiti oh this was the coolest thing ever hey Billy snare tits
looks like frank murphy and smoky uh it's actually rosy I've made it big time I think it was rosy
I thought it was rosy um somebody sent these pictures that they took on a freight train
and believe it or not it's actually of two of the characters from um fuck on it I was clicking
on this and now it's all gone where is it yeah that's rosy not smoky rosy and frank murphy
on the side of a freight train in Vancouver how about that for street cred
we got the street kids from Canada putting graffiti on a train that was actually really cool
whoever did that I want to give a shout out you did a great job I'm going to post the pictures
when I figure out how to do that and um I sent him to Mike Price the captain of the
Epsom family ship and he was absolutely over the moon that somebody cared enough to um
paint those it was really really cool um so so there's that all right noise induced hearing loss
hi mr burr um I recently stumbled across a few of your rants regarding noise exposure
and how the world is too noisy I'm currently in graduate school to earn my doctorate in audiology
oh here we go you're absolutely right about the noise levels in today's world music tv levels at
bars and restaurant king cause permanent hearing damage in as little as five minutes if it reaches
a certain decibel level sporting events subway stations vacuums and even some hairdryers you
can have serious consequences as well I have a decibel app and daily I find myself in environments
and daily I find myself in environments that are above safe noise levels you're one of the
the only popular public figures talking about this very serious issue yeah um the only upside
of this is that so many people are going to end up with tinnitus which I don't wish on anybody
that maybe they'll actually work on it more try to come up with a cure for it but I can tell you
like uh I saw a little kid at the raiders game yesterday he literally had on like he looked
like he had the leaf bow or headphones on which I was really happy for the dad that he was doing
that but I was looking at the dad and he didn't have any earplugs in the whole fucking game
you know um that was another funny thing about the raiders fans is the arrogance
of these you would think that they just want to super well they haven't won a fucking Super Bowl
in 40 years and they're like like anybody is like oh no not the raiders the last time they
went to Super Bowl Ronald Reagan was in his first term I mean it's just like what are they doing
and then they also like yes I mean I love that they play all those NFL films and all of that
shit but they kind of got to let go of that like like how the flyers I remember they stay
still always show all that broad street bully shit and everything it's like guys you got to
fucking move on you ever want to fucking cup in 50 years let's try to you know win a different way
or something I don't know what strange um so anyway this guy says uh it's a very taboo topic
people wear sunglasses to protect their eyes and wear sunscreen to protect their skin
but very few people are focused on protecting their hearing excessive loud noise exposure has
been correlated to tonight is perceived ringing in the ears but what it actually is is now they're
discovering it's like in the brain and so this over in Europe they have I saw this thing I can't
find it somebody can find it they have this stuff we put on like headphones and you work with the
doctor or something and he tries to figure out what pitch you're hearing in your ear and then he
plays whatever like that Bose shit when you play the opposite note to cancel it out and it allegedly
resets your brain or at least makes it not as loud of course it's not approved over here yet
I don't know if it works uh who knows um anyway here we go work hey Bill huge fan
can't wait for old dads I've been telling everyone about it when the topic of new movies come up
oh yeah I think it's good I'm really really proud of it I own a restaurant that my grandparents
started in the early 70s we have always staffed with young we're always staffed with younger kids
looking for jobs or adults looking for part-time work we've been understaffed due to the last
few years events and are struggling to stay operational we'll survive because it's all we
have and we'll make it in the long run but finding people to work in our area has been very difficult
we pay almost double the server base and our kitchen positions have had two times minimums
wage since the 90s I agree corporations are slimy and are probably feeling the backlash to their
inhumanity but aside from that it's been clear that younger people are not eager to work um
um
I just think that waiting tables to them is like churning butter when you can uh
I mean like it used to be if you're good looking chick you become a waitress you make money making
tips it's like well why don't I want to do that when I can just go on like Instagram yeah I got
yeah that's jazz and you know kind of stick your finger in your mouth a little bit um
what if the fucking is hot chicks do on the internet um
I think that that's what it is they have that's not that they're not working I mean they obviously
are working how are they paying their rent so I think that's they're working I just think old
people like us don't really know what the new jobs are um they can't all be an entertainment I feel like
they're
like everybody else they're always on their phone and they're always consuming content so I imagine
they're trying to get into that world because that's the world they enjoy if I was a younger person
I would probably want to get involved in creating video games make an app
um get in shape and I'll just be your fucking personal trainer through the internet and then
I can be at home um I think maybe like the combination of
that maybe and like also they just sort of post-made foods
and no one goes to like malls anymore I don't know I'm too fucking old to figure it out but
that is fascinating I don't think that they don't want to work I just think that they
want a different job than the jobs that we had which is normal anyway 10 years ago we had teens
and college kids always coming back to work for us I speak with many of the other local businesses
and they all have the same problem part-time work is not sought after I've heard from frustrated
parents who are customers that their kids and their friends have sworn off part-time work
when we do hire they usually rep they they are usually reprimanded for being on their
phone instead of working and quit soon after I think there are two worlds of people there's two
worlds of people that don't want to work there's always been lazy people but young people used
to care about making money I've had applicants scoff at the pay which is higher than anything else
that they could get anywhere else for part-time and no skills required well obviously I would
think it wouldn't be if they're laughing at it I would be fascinated to hear from somebody young
to say what jobs do appeal to you anyways I'm sure the tide will turn someday but it's unfortunate
that younger people don't have the same culture of work ethic one new hire quit because he said
we don't give them enough positive reinforcement after a week please tell me that's a joke I told
this to my grandfather whose brain seemed unable to compute thanks for the laugh happy holidays to
you and your family all right look I tried to stick up for young people in that one but Jesus Christ
you don't give me enough I you know I really think that a lot of people can't handle being on the
internet and having their face out there and I think of a lot they're all like acting like
celebrities who used you know back in the day you get your own TV show and then act like a
fucking asshole not everybody but some people I think it's kind of
maybe it's a symptom of social media or something like that I do know like
like you know I tweeted out I've seen it all after the Raiders thing and then some kid wrote
this joke said me when I've seen it all talking about you know what I've said so and I was sitting
there trying to figure out the joke I was like I don't really get this joke I know he's making fun
of me does he is he saying that like what I said was stupid but the thing that I couldn't get past
was the me because I was just like well what is what I said have to do with you and I kind of feel
like that's the disease that I see that I've seen in my business where you watch people get shit
and then all of a sudden this thing happens with this you know not everybody but you know
some people I call it taking the ride and then after a while you just really can't hear or
compute things unless it's about you so I don't know I don't think everybody is like that I think
there are a lot of young people working out there but
I know it hasn't been healthy for me to be on the phone as much as I'm on the phone
and then also parents are definitely guilty of using the the tablets and shit reward and punishment
like I'll tell you if my daughter doesn't give a fuck about Santa Claus but if you go to take that
tablet away like it is a Meryl Street performance and I've had a doctor about it going like look
how upset you're getting and what's amazing is the second if I go to give it back to her all
the tears immediately stop so it's just a performance so I just have to remind myself
of that it's like no you're going to hang out with me we're going to talk we're going to connect
you're going to color you're going to draw you're going to do stuff that stimulates your brain
instead of staring at this thing I don't have a problem with what they're looking at it because
she's going to go into a world of all computers and she needs to be familiar with how to interact
with them but definitely too much of it is not a good thing and then I also feel like it's a very
everybody's just up their own ass about like themselves like
like I have my my thing that's socially most fascinating with right now is the word woke
and how that word literally means something different to every single person that uses it
because everybody just internalized it for themselves you know like I find it fascinating
that white liberals took the word from black people and then put it on themselves and made it
like a compliment of what a great white person they were and then they started talking down to
white people in red states so now to them like woke culture is some annoying Hollywood white douche
telling them that they're not living their life correctly and all of the stuff that it was supposed
to be about basically not white people is all out the window and it's just white people yelling at
each other like I don't know I don't even know when somebody says that to me like I'm just like
all right no man I had to get out of there because all that woke shit I'm like I mean I live in LA
if you didn't know that right it's not like you walk down the street and people just yelling that
shit when you I mean it's a fucking great place to live I will tell you it is a fucking great
place to live the weather is amazing and all of that type of stuff I find more you run into that
woke shit when you're like pitching shows and stuff like that but it's like you walk down the street
and somebody's yelling you hey you walking down the street have you thought about a transgendered
person today let's let's not like it's just I don't know what it is it's fucking weird though
I don't know I'm probably guilty of a two on some point at some level or whatever
you know what it is what I realized I fucking hate everybody all right I hate both sides
I just I just don't fucking like as far as like uh liberals and conservatives I fucking can't stand
them I fucking I just I don't know like this do you believe we're gonna have to sit through
another fucking presidential election you know can they just fucking you know stupid Joe Biden's
gonna get the nomination and then republicans just pick your fucking guy and then that's it
then everybody shut the fuck up it will all vote nine months later stop with the stupid
debate we already know who we're voting for why are they dragging it out for money right for money
the election goes into the fucking prevent defense
the second of the presidential debates like everybody already doesn't have their fucking
minds made up I don't know you know I'm on the fence here it's like
I think if that guy in the red tie makes more points than the guy in the blue I don't know
you know single pilot commercial flights all right dear billy expert brains
as a helicopter pilot you probably know everything there is to know about flying
winged machines insert you saying no I don't that's exactly what I was gonna say I don't
regardless I'd like you to weigh in on this commercial airlines are lobbying congress to allow
single pilot flights
oh they don't have a co-pilot I'm aware that it's mostly computers handle yeah but not the takeoff
and landing if the flights handle if I'm aware that it's mostly computers handle if the flights
I don't know what you're trying to say there and that remote operated planes have been around as
early as the 50s see operation north woods so say the one pilot passes out or dies of a heart attack
dude if you haven't been in an airport and you see a guy with fucking
I fly planes shirt on dressed like Gavin McLeod on the love boat rest his soul
when you see him like eating like a burger and fries I start going please don't be flying my plane
anyway so say the one pilot passes out or dies of a heart attack would you really trust a computer
land or make the adjustment call a human would in an extra pacifist situation
um no I obviously wouldn't because I don't think a computer cares if it dies or not
you know I think computers just like yeah we can make it we make it if we don't uh what do I give
a shit I don't have a dog in this fight you know I wouldn't mind just fucking going back into the
earth and becoming something they dig up again to turn into a fucking Nintendo switch uh no I'm
not into that I'm into human beings flying planes um having said that I'm also into all
that computer technology if they can make it safe enough that they don't need another guy
I would think that would be awesome while they still had two guys that's what I would vote for
the thing is is both you and I know why they're doing this they're not doing this because it's
safer they're doing it because they'd rather pay for the system once than the pilot for 20 25 years
so that's their deal um that's like the self-checkout which I've just given into
because everybody else is doing it so I just said fuck it you know I just got tired I'm not fighting
anymore right they don't have self-checkout to make it more convenient for you they have it
so they don't have to pay for somebody that's also one less person that could be like hey somebody
said nice tits to me at work and I'm fucking offended I'm gonna sue this place right computers
don't sue they don't complain they don't care they don't give a fuck they'll work 24 fucking seven
so I think that that's why you know that's the direction that they're moving in it's gonna freak
us out because we grew up in a time when there was people in the front of the plane and eventually
there will be no people in the front of the plane they'll just be computers and people will grow up
with that the same way young people have grown up with the government listening to all their phone
calls if they want to and they don't question that because there was never a time when they
didn't the same way my generation never questioned paying you know federal and state income tax
uh because it was always that way and uh that's just kind of how it works that is that is frightening
though I would say um I mean Tesla already did those self-driving cars and a couple people got
killed because it wasn't able to read something I mean dude how much what a fucking way to go
2018 2019 2020 uh how did he die well he was in a self-driving car what a self-driving car
they make them things um why is he gotta be southern bill because I like doing the accent
I'm working on my macho macho man ready savage though I am you know gonna maybe wait champion yeah um
um anyway I just think it's uh yeah it just it is what the fuck kind of way is that to die
I believe that my car would drive itself to the point the guy was taken a nap they went to sleep
that is the biggest selling point I think of the of the self-driving car
wait a minute that means I can go out and party till four in the fucking morning
I can sleep a couple of hours wake up take a shower and then sleep on the way to work
you're gonna be hoping this traffic
um I think self-driving cars 100% are gonna happen I don't know that they're safe or whatever but I
think uh people are just gonna be like oh I love driving you know I just shut my phone off I go to
sleep I'm in Rhode Island I wake up you know it's like I'm in fucking Buffalo New York it's great
I feel refreshed it's good for your brain you know sleep they're staying with these studies
helps to save up dimension all this other shit um yeah I don't know I will tell you this on my
on this this break that I'm taking here a couple of months here from working I am definitely
gonna be flying a lot and uh not even a lot I'm not gonna do anything a lot except trying to get
over this fucking avalanche it's fucking coughing it's sneezing um all right that is the podcast
everybody thank you for listening thank you to everybody who came out to the slight return tour
thank you to the legendary club soda Kenny um the greatest tour manager security guy in the
history of the business I put him right up there with fucking Peter Grant of Led Zeppelin he is
just the fucking man um and that's it obviously thank you to everybody who came out to the shows
it was an insane insane run and this last weekend to get to perform in New Orleans
Austin Texas and San Antonio Texas and seeing that amount of people showing up
is never not going to be crazy to me so I really appreciate it I'm going to keep writing jokes
and hopefully next year I'll have another new hour or some bullshit um or whatever all right
that is the podcast go patriots I feel better congratulations to the raiders um and I would
say quite possibly in a lot of ways I actually think that the raiders have the best stadium in
the league I actually like it better than so far so far is a little too la like it looks green screened
it is amazing but um I think I like the raiders better I do think it's funny that Jerry Glanville
had to fucking fix that tv that he put at the top of their stadium you know I mean that was a big
deal like how big the fucking tv was I remember working the Dallas improv joking about like
that fucking thing in three years is going to be the oldest biggest oldest fucking tv like you
could buy a flat screen tv within three years it can't it's not compatible with shit and this guy
has a fucking it's an 80-yard fucking tv I just thought that that was just so perfect not only
for Texas but for Dallas I just loved it it's bigger means it's better I mean that's some
rick flair shit uh I'll speak in a rick flair James Kahn is in a movie called uh Thief a Michael
Man movie and he's got this scene I swear to god with Tuesday Weld he's in a car and he sounds like
rick flair he's yelling at it going you know he's starting to date her and she doesn't get him he goes
he goes what do you think I do huh what do you think I do she's like you sell those stupid
fucking cars at your you know if you use car deal thing he's like I got a hundred and fifty
dollars slaps I got silk shirts I got a fucking diamond ring I was and I was watching going like
he's like I rub safe you fucking idiot all right the car dealership is just how I wash my money
and um that's the way it was done back in the day if you were dishonest man then your girlfriend
couldn't figure out what you did for a living you yelled at them for not being observant enough
to realize that you were in fact a criminal um I highly recommend that and I also watched
Paul Newman the verdict which was shot in Boston uh amazing amazing amazing movie absolutely loved
it and you know what was funny is like some of the bad boston accents like I'll see you tomorrow in
court instead of court I'll see you fucking court they always think park the cat it was so it's cat
no court I see in court dude by the lexer the Excalibur in its own vices all right uh go fuck yourselves
you have a great couple of days and I'll check it on you on Thursday
from alles neem ik 2 no man no I met the Eric van ons hier zal ik pasen
ramadam oe berk geniet van pasen en ramadan met het verrassend en divers assortiment van albert
hein en kijk zeker ook naar de tweede aflevering op de wereld in het klein.be dat is het lekkerer van albert
hein