Monday Morning Podcast 12-31-18
00:00Deleize presentsKokme with your My Deleize AppFrom now on, you can find recipes that are delicious, easy and easy to buyfor those of you who are interested in something else or are fond of classicsOh yes, there was a spaghetti bolognese with delicious vealDownload the My Deleize App and KokmeYes, great!Deleize, along with the life
00:31Okay, she thought there was 32 days in DecemberThis is the last day of 2018What are you going to do with it?Are you going to seize the day?Seize the day, aka cram too much shit into a 24-hour periodSo you're fucking stressed out for the next dayThat's how I do itThat's how I do it
00:51Oh, by the way, guess what?I finally got that little fucking piece I needed for my headphonesAnd it works greatAnd as you see, I sat there and I fucking pitched about it for what?Six fucking, it felt like nine yearsI just ordered it on Amazon, it showed up, you knowSome fucking eight-year-old put on a welding mask and made itAnd then somebody else flew it on a fucking...
01:15What do you call those goddamn things that hover over your neighborhood?Drone?You know?I don't knowAnyways, happy new year to youHappy new year to youIf you're going to get shit-faced, call an Uber or a LyftI'm actually going to be going out tonight
01:38For the first time in a long timeI'm going to be going out with my old familyMy family back eastWe're just going to go out to dinnerIt's cool being a dad, you know what I mean?Rather than go out and go booze and all that shitYou just fucking called two days beforeDo you have a reservation at four in the afternoon?
01:56Four thirty?Like, why yes, yes we doIt's like any other day here at four or four thirty in the afternoonHowever, you know, starting around sevenNo, we don't, we're completely bookedAnd everything's going to be jacked up the A-holeSo we're all going to go out and have a...Hopefully a pleasurable meal
02:17Enjoyable dinner and all that type of stuffAnd then I go to the Rose Bowl the next dayAnd then the following dayGive me a ticket on an aeroplaneGonna go fly to fucking Eastern EuropeGonna go to Cologne, GermanyAnd then it startsAnd I am ready, baby
02:38I put in the timeI did the fucking workI was down in the comedy store every nightThe last three nights and the ice houseYou know, I fucked up Thursday nightI fucked up twice on my gigs this weekWhich I never doI actually was headlining the ice house
02:54And I forgot and I put in at the comedy storeSo I'm pulling into the comedy store at like nine o'clockAnd I just happened to look down at my phoneI see a Joe Rogan phone callAnd he was the one who told me thatYou know, that they wanted to book me at the ice houseThen I was like, oh fuckAnd then I saw I had a bunch of messages from the club owner
03:13And I called upI was like, what time was I supposed to be on stage?He's like right nowTen minutes agoSo I drove out there like a maniacI finally learned how to use the supercharger in my carYou know, so I was in intense modeWhatever the fuck they call it
03:32Like I drove that car for fucking two yearsNever using the superchargerBecause I didn't know you had to push a buttonI just thought when I stepped on the gasLike the old days it would just engage over thereBut it didn'tSo I finally learned how to use that thingAnd what is going on with these fucking wires?
03:49Why can't I get them ever not to be justI just don't understand how this fucking happensEvery single timeEvery weekEvery weekYou know it's weird you could take a handful of wiresAnd throw them on the groundAnd then once you pick one of them up
04:02They all tie togetherYou know, it's so weird that you can do that with likeWires but you can't do it with snakesIf you throw them on the fucking groundAnd you just picked one of them upThere wouldn't be a bunch of them all tangled up in itThey'd all just fucking slither awaySo what I'm saying is
04:18Is we need to start making wiresThe way the good lord makes the snakesAnyway, so then I had to drive all the way backTo the comedy storeBecause I was so fucking late at the ice houseI hung out and took pictures and signed shitYou know, to make up for thatDid the full hour
04:37Then I went all the way back to the fucking comedy storeI got there by like a quarter to twelveAt night and I got to tell youAnd I haven't gone up, you knowI never went up really late at the comedy storeBecause I never got past thereTo go through thatAnd I went back to the, you know
04:52I auditioned for MitziAnd she said, I mean she didn't say anythingShe left in the middle of my setThat's so fucking awfulShe thought I wasAnd she's probably rightIf I'm going to be mature about itAnd then I just, I moved back to New York
05:08And I sort of did the late night thing in New YorkAnd I never got to do it at the comedy storeAnd that's probably the latest I've gone on thereSince I can rememberAnd it was just a completely different animalI went on in the main roomAnd then also in the original roomAnd in the main room
05:24I was on stage and I was thinking about Richard PryorFor some reasonBecause I know that there were some older guysThey had told me how I used to work out of stuffLate night thereAnd then when I went into the ORI was, you know, I just went up thereAnd I had like this fucking set
05:37Where I was just totally freeAnd riffed and said all this shitDidn't tape any of itAnd just shit that I wouldA few things I remembered thatNow in my act, but likeAnd I remembered here in this storyThat Jim Carrey came up with Fire Marshal Bill
05:50Late night in the ORAt the comedy store and all that shitSo it was really, ended up being really coolAnd then I worked two shows Friday thereTwo shows SaturdayAnd then last nightI was running my hour in the main roomAnd then I was running over to the whiskey
06:04Because Steven Adler was playingAnd I also had another spot in the ORBut instead of just doing an hourI did like an hour and 40 in the main roomAnd I was going to be late for the Steven Adler showSo I was like, is it cool if I just don't do that spot?Because I didn't know that they advertised meIn that room too
06:21I thought they just advertised me in the main roomBut they had also advertised me in the ORHad I known thatI would have gone over there and done itI just thought I had a spotAnd I missed itBecause I was supposed to go up at 10.15And by the time I got off stage in the main room
06:35It was like 10.40I was like, I don't want to fuck it up over thereYou know, for the other peopleSo anyways, long story shortI saw Steven Adler's fucking great show at the whiskeyAnd then I'm walking back to the storeAnd I'm walking in front of the storeAnd these four people are standing there
06:50Like fucking 2 in the 1.30 in the morningGoing like, you got to be shitting meAre you going to go on now?I go, what are you talking about?I was on in the main roomI was like, no, we were in the ORWe were sitting there for five hoursThe whole crowd was fucking pissed off
07:01So, I don't knowI got to try to figure out how to fucking make that rightBut I felt like a fucking assholeSo I took a picture with themAnd, umI don't knowI was thinking, why the fuck did I do that?Because then I went over to the Adler thing
07:15And it started like, you know, 20 minutes laterI would have had time to do itThen I wouldn't have disappointed those peopleAnd now I feel like a fucking assholeUmBut I haven't said thatYou knowI basically did like seven sets
07:31And missed oneSo, what are you going to do?But dude, the fucking Adler Appetite showThat thing was fucking great, manAnd I was just sitting thereThe whole showI was just watching StephenBecause I started listening, you know
07:49I don't know, I kind of tuned up my drumsAnd I got some different heads and shitAnd they sound fucking killerAnd then my drum teacher came overAnd he fine tuned itAnd now it just sounds fucking unbelievableAnd I was listening to just thatAppetite album again
08:06And I'm such a drum nerdDo you realize that Stephen AdlerDoes not hit his rack tom until likeLike the fourth songLike halfway through the fourth songHe crushes that albumJust with the bass drum snareAnd his floor tom
08:24The only time he really hits the floor tomIs the breakdown duringWelcome to the jungleOut to get me is all just kick snareNo, I'm sorry, what's the next songI always say it's out to get meIt's so easy, it's all kick snareAnd what's the next one
08:45Da, da, ba, ba, da, da, da, daNo, that's on the other sideI don't fucking knowBut anyway, so I was watching himAnd then when I watched him last nightThe fill that I thought he was doingIn one of those fucking songsHe actually didn't do on the rack
09:01He actually went from the snareOver to the floorSo I actually think he goes maybeTo Mr. BrownstoneNobody even then that's a floor tomBut I remember seeing this whole fucking thingI'm sure this is boring a lot of you guysBut I remember seeing this whole fucking thing
09:17On him that for a whileHe only had a three pieceAnd it's just amazing how his host styleCame out of being a broke musicianAnd just crashing at people's placesHe couldn't have a big drum kitIf he wanted toHe started out with a double bass kit
09:30I remember reading in his bookAnd then they got rid of thatHe got rid of that somehowSomebody said, don't play double bassYou just play a single bass drumWith some shitAlmost like a Bonham thingAnd then he was down to like
09:43Just a floor kick and snareAnd just the amount of musicThat that guy got out of itBut it was awesomeIt was just, dudeWhat a bunch of charactersAt the whiskey last nightJesus Christ
09:58There was this fucking guy there, right?And I just, he lookedHe looked like he was like in his fiftiesBut he looked like he had a hard lifeSo he was probably like in his fortiesAnd he's just standingAnd all of a sudden the bouncer comes upAnd he just hits him
10:15Like slaps him on the armLike what the fuckAnd then the guy kind of gesturesLike, hey man, you knowI mean, it's so cool, whateverAnd the bouncer just grabs himAnd fucking throws him out of the clubSo my buddy I was with went up and said
10:28Hey man, just out of curiosityWhat did that guy do?And I guess the guy had taken out his lighterAnd was fuckingLighten the ass of the person in front of himLike some other dudeSo when the bouncer hit himLike, what the fuck are you doing?
10:43He was making this gestureLike, yeah, it's kind of funny, right?And the bouncer just gets the fuck out of hereYou fucking lighten people on 40What are you, giving somebody a hot foot?50 years of fucking age?And my other buddy was withWas laughing his ass off
10:59It was so loud, I meanI could have just gone to himBut he was sitting there going likeWas laughing going, yeahI saw the whole fucking thingLike he didn't even try to hide itIt was a complete fucking assholeSo anyways, that's what I did
11:14And my apologies to the peopleThat came down to the OR last nightI really feel fucking badly about that, manI mean, there's a handI don't know how many times in my lifeI've missed a spotI would think it's under 10My entire fucking career
11:31The first nine timesNobody gave a fuckSo my apologiesI hope that somehow I can make that up to you guysAnyways, plowing ahead hereSpeaking of showsWe've added two more amazing comicsThese guys are kids to me
11:46But they're notThey're fucking, they're like legitI'm just old as shitJoe List and Mark NormanHave been added to the lineupFor the 7th Annual Patrice O'Neill Comedy BenefitI had the privilege of working with both of themMark Norman, I worked at the Westside Comedy Club
12:02In New York CityAnd Joe List, when I did GothamAbout a month agoI got to work with both of themAnd just fuckingLike they're like the next guysJust legit, legitStraight up fucking comedians
12:19And we'll be monster headlinersSo come down and see them nowWhile you still canAlso on the showAs I've been mentioningMichelle Wolfe, Chris Red, Jim GaffiganGary Goleman, Rich Voss, Cypher SoundsBig J. O'Kersen and myself
12:36It's gonna be a monster, monster, monster showAnd thanks to the Joe Rogan experienceWe had 800 tickets to sellAnd now we're down to like 150So people can buy tickets at www.New York CityOh sorry, NYCityCenter.orgOr on my websiteWhich is billburr.com
12:57If you just click on eventsOr whatever the hell it isRoad gigs or some shit like thatIf you just click on that shitYou'll see the link right thereAlright, so there you goSpeaking of RoganI mentioned when I did his podcast
13:11How I took a sauna with them afterwardsAnd he has like a legit saunaYou know the ones with like the coals and shitThat you dump the water onSo I felt so great after thatThat I was kind of jonesing for another oneSo I went to this fucking place out hereI'm not gonna say the name
13:28Because I'm kind of gonna likeNot shit on the placeBut it's just more likeIt's a different kind ofDifferent kind of saunaWhere Joe's is the old school oneThat like you knowThe heat hits you from the outside
13:50And you sweat like thatI went to one of those infrared onesThe clear light fucking onesWhich I realized there's this whole debateOn whether or not those things are healthy or notAnd they say yeah you knowWe checked out the fucking rays on this thingIt's fine and then you're supposed to ask them
14:05Well how did you measure those raysIs there any radiationBecause they were likeThis thing like heats you from the insideIs the way they described itAnd I go reallyI go I feel like I'm getting into a microwaveAnd I gotta tell you
14:16I stayed in there for a fucking hourAnd when I came outI definitely felt betterBut afterwards I didn't feel rightIt just didn't feel rightIt wasn't that same peaceful feelingThat I had coming out of the other oneSo I didn't like the infrared ones
14:33Although I heard there's some Hollywood starletsThat just swear by themI guess they use it for weight lossAnd I will tell you I came out of thereMy stomach was definitely flatterBut I was like isn't that all water weightYou knowYou go out and have one sasparilla there
14:47Your fucking belly comes right backIsn't that how it worksBut anywaySo I'm gonna go do thisEurope tourAnd I'm hoping to hit a couple of those placesWhen I'm over thereThis is gonna be an unprecedented road trip for me
15:02In thatI won't be drinkingI don't even know that I'm gonna smoke cigarsI had like fucking 90 over the past weekYou know, catching up with everybody at the end of the yearHey, let's get a fucking cigarSo I won't be smoking cigarsI got vitamins with me
15:21And I'm gonna try to be hitting saunasAnd fucking getting eight hours sleepJust because it's my fucking age, manI can't be doing like city to city to city to cityTen days, two shows, almost every fucking nightYou knowOh my god, I was gonna say thatAt the end of the tour, I'm gonna have a fucking cane
15:39I saw a guy last nightYou know those people that have fucking canesAnd it's just like, dude, you don't need a fucking caneThis guy was like walking with this caneAnd he would take like three stepsBefore he put the cane down, you knowIt was like watching a point guard dribbling the ball up the courtWhere you're just watching the whole time going like
15:55The guy's fucking travelingHave you ever said on an NBA gameLike you fucking watch these guysThey're bouncing the ball like so fucking highAnd you watch him, one, two, three, bounceOne, two, three, bounceOne, two, three, bounceOne, two, bounce
16:09One, two, three, it's just like, aren't you supposed toI mean, that was another step and a halfI don't know how it fucking worksI'm done bitching about sports in the way it is nowadaysI've finally given into the fact that his has changedAnd speaking of which, my PatriotsBeat the New York Jets, who I was impressed with their quarterbackI don't know if he's gonna be the guy, but he, uh, you know
16:28You never know, it might be coaching, it might be his lineI have no idea, but he made some good throwsAnd there was a lot of fucking heavy hits by their defenseYou know, they're having another rough year or whateverBut, um, we handled themWe got a playoff spot, we got a buy for the ninth timeNine years in a row, we got a buyBut that fucking motherfucking stupid ass fucking
16:50Dolphins gameNow, now we're gonna have to go through KCIf we win our game and they win their gameWe're gonna have to go through Kansas CityWe have to try to beat those fucking guys againIn their own goddamn buildingAnd, um, I don't know, I just don't see that happeningWith the, I don't know
17:12Which is weird this year, we actually have a really good running game it seemsUm, but it's hard to gauge because we were playing the JetsAnd they were all banged up on defenseSo I don't really know where the fuck we stand hereBut, uh, who knows, Kansas City, you know, they also have to winWhich is not something that they've done in the postseason for a long fucking timeBut, uh, they're Mahomes guys on a whole other levelAnd I don't know that, you know, Paul Verzi made up a great fucking point
17:39Um, just saying that, you know, I don't, I think this is the first timeAndy Reed has ever had a quarterbackI know he had Dunovan McNabb and all that shitBut I really think this Mahomes guy, he has that, he seems to have thatYou almost have to be, like, not human at the end of the gameWhere you just don't feel emotion, you knowVerzi basically said, alright, I don't like, cause I like Dunovan McNabbHe goes, this is the first time, you know, he's got a guy like Mahomes
18:19He didn't have a guy, you know, you know, he was in PhiladelphiaAnd had a guy who puked in the fucking huddle or whateverWhich I don't know, that's probably overblownWho knows, he probably went out party the night beforeI'm sure fucking Ken Staber puked in a couple of fucking huddlesAnyways, and congratulations to the Cleveland Browns on just a great seasonAnd, uh, I was really pulling for you guys yesterday just to see you have a winning season and all that shitUm, I don't know, we'll see, this is gonna be a great post season
18:56Of course I'm gonna be overseas and miss some of itAnd if my Patriots aren't gonna win at all, I almost want us to lose in the first roundJust so I can sit there and fucking enjoy itI know I'm gonna enjoy, uh, the NFC, um, playoffsJust as far as, like, you know, the Saints have home fieldI still don't think Drew Brees has ever gotten the fucking respect he deservesHe's one of those guys where he's gonna have to win two for people to be like, oh yeahBut then again, Eli's won two and they're treating him like a fucking stepchild
19:31I don't know, and the Rams were just killing it the whole seasonAnd then they kind of had that little dip there and now they're kind of backBut they also played the 49ers, so I don't know, I don't knowAnd then you got Seattle and they got Pete Carroll as a great fucking coachAnything can happen and then Chicago has that great DThis is gonna be fucking funIt's gonna be funI was always kind of wondering too, like, what Brady must feel like
19:54Being this far into his goddamn careerWhere he must feel like a fucking, a townie at the barAnd everybody else has kind of gotten on with their livesJust looking around the locker room like, where the fuck is everybody that I used to know?They're all fucking goneAnd like, there's no quarterback left in the league that was playing when he started outI mean, I almost think like, I mean, he makes fucking Eli and Drew Brees look like youngstersKind of the way the Rolling Stones kept Aerosmith young for so long
20:32Where they were able to kind of breeze through their 40s, 50s and into their 60sBecause the Stones were always 10 years older than themSo everyone was always making the old jokes with themSo, I don't knowAnd for all you fucking Europe cunts over thereI did watch Liverpool ArsenalI watched until it was three to one and then Daddy Duty took overBut Arsenal goes up one to nothing and I'm thinking, okay
20:58You know that fucking guy does his little danceHe slides on his knees and I'm like, oh, here we goArsenal, Arsenal's actually a team that I fucking heard ofThey must be one of the good fucking teamsAnd then the Liverpool guys, they just went right down the fucking fieldLike fucking three minutes later, bam90 seconds later, bam, which you never see in fucking soccer, football, whatever the hell you call itIt's the same guy, who I guess hadn't scored at all in the Premier League
21:30Just weak ass fucking defenseThe one where Mo Salah kind of fucking weaved his way throughAnd then made that sick pass for the third goal or somethingWhen they showed the defense in slow motionIt literally looked like they were extras in a movieAnd Mo was like the star that they had to make look goodSo they were doing these half-hearted sort of, I don't know whatTrying to get their foot in the way
21:56It's like, don't they usually just fucking stick a cleat right in the back of your fucking Achilles?I don't know, I don't know shit about these goddamn sportBut I have been watching, or whateverAlright, let me read a little bit of advertising hereIn the mountain, in the kitchen, even in the livingThey're really lying everywhere, riding those empty boatsBut now we're going to the finishBring them to a B-Bat-Inzamo-Punt
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22:54Are they literally trying to write this in myMy fucking, the way I speak?This is all written like thisWe all put off things we know we need to doI mean, we know we need to organize the garageBut something always gets in the wayFunny how home security can be like thatYou know, what do I need to organize?
23:18I don't know, I cleaned up my fucking drum roomChanged the head on all my drumsSo you know what, I actually moved all the drums out of thereAnd I brought a little vacuum cleaner in thereAnd all the fucking, all the fucking shavings and shitAnd broken drumsticks and all that from the drumsticksVacuumed all of that shit upAnd, yeah, I don't know what this has to do with safes
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25:03You know, like the way a hot chick spells your nameYou know what I mean?They always have like the I instead of a YYou ever notice that?Like if a chick has the Y in their nameThen they're just fucking regular looking like youAnd you're not intimidated to approach themAnd fucking hit on them or whatever
25:19If you're still allowed to do thatYou know?Are you still allowed to do that?You know after one of my shows, this woman came up to meShe's like, ah, I just want to give you a hugAnd I just put my hands straight up in the airAnd the whole time I was like, ah, me too, me tooOh my god
25:39That's the whole thingThat's how I'm handling every fucking situation like thatI'm literally putting my hands upLike a cop has a gun on meThe fuck away from meUntil they bring back due process and burden of proofThat's I'm telling you as a man, that is the fucking way to goTo stick your hands up in the air
26:00Until these fucking lunatics calm the fuck downAnd they realize that our judicial systemIs the best that the world has to offerAnd to not do away with the best fucking thing about itIs the fact that you actually get a fucking, you knowThe chance to defend yourselfYou know?Even the guilty get a chance to defend themselves
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26:53And no long term commitmentsI use Stamps.com to send out all my postersFor this tourI'm a fucking moronI can figure it out so can youAlthough I'm not bringing any of these posters to EuropeBy the wayBecause I'm just going from city to city to city to city
27:10I don't know how to fucking do it over thereI also don't know how to convertAmerican money to euros to francsTo fuckingThe bloomsWhatever the fuck you guys are using over thereSo I'm just gonnaJust gonna dance and do my stupid fucking show
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29:42He's a member at a country clubNow this is some shit that I would never doI would never think to doI would never think to join a country clubI don't golfAlthough I watched this thing on Tiger WoodsTiger Woods last nightHe was fucking 30 for 30
30:08Basically on his return to finally winningHis body was all broken downAnd all that shitAnd he came back and he wonAnd now the ratings went through the roofAnd all of thatIt was just fucking awesomeThat he was back
30:20And people love to watch greatnessIf you don't love to watch greatnessThat reflects more on youRather than the person that you're fucking watchingBecause you just pissed off about your own lifeWhy wouldn't you want to see somebody go outAnd be the greatest of all timeAnyways
30:34So I went over thereTo smoke a cigarAnd I went over thereIt was a fucking utopiaLike I would literally join a country clubAnd never play golfI went over thereThey had all the NFL games on
30:53They had all this foodThey were pouring boozeThe way I pour booze at homeI call it like a home pourThey were pouring them like thatFortunately I wasn't drinkingBecause I drove over thereAnd that would have been a situation
31:06I would have left my fucking car thereBut everybody just hanging outBreaking fucking ballsIt was greatAnd I gotta be honest with youIt was nice as a guyTo know that that still existedIt was just fun, you know
31:24That's like one of those thingsThat feminists go afterAnd it's just likeWe're not doing anything wrongAnd then I hung out over thereFor like three hoursHanging out with all the guysEverybody breaking balls
31:35Telling stories, watching the gameTrying to fucking coachWhat was on the TVSmoking cigarsClassic guy shitAnd then I was doneAnd then I came home to my wifeAnd I was psyched
31:45And then I was around this female energyIt was perfectIt was like, dare I say, balancedAnd, you knowThis is this whole fucking weird thingGoing on right nowThat if everybody is not includedMeaning both sexes
32:00That for some reason that meansThat there's something wrong about itYou know, I don't knowI don't fucking get itLike, you knowA bunch of women going out to brunchIs great for themThey get to be around that
32:16They totally vibe with that fucking energyThen after a while I imagineHey, you knowGo home to my fucking dumb guyAnd with absenceMakes the heart grow fonderYou knowI understand to a certain level
32:28Where there was just like, you knowEntities and businessAnd schmoozing and all thatThat weren't letting, you knowForget about womenBut other races and people and all thatYou knowI'm, you know
32:43Obviously not down with thatI think everybody ought to be able toGo wherever the fuck they want to goAs long as you're not a fucking jerk offBut I don'tBut I draw the line at that thingWhere it's just everything has to haveMen and women mixed together
32:56I think that a lot of shit shouldBut there's definitelyThere should just be some shitThat's just for womenOr just for menAnd even thenJust for men, you knowWhen you color your hair
33:08I even, when I worded thatI made sure that I saidJust for women firstBefore these fucking lunaticsWith, I don't know what theI've been doing this bit right nowTalking about how these private schools workNow
33:24Where you have to likeGet your educationYour kids over thereAnd they're trying to likeGet this perfect balanceRacially and genderAnd all of thatAnd it's just like
33:36It's likeTheir heart is in the right placeBut it just feels likeThis giant fuckingLike experimentLike some weird Nazi shitLike what are you doingWhat the fuck are we
33:50They're kidsJust let them be kidsAnd this is all going to work out itselfThey're trying to likeThey're trying to curate theThe painless childhoodI think that's what they're going forThey're going to try to like
34:05Have kids have, you knowA childhood without any painWhich I guess then the theory isIs that then they would go out into the worldAnd they wouldn't inflictAny pain on anybodyBut it's just likeEventually, you know
34:26You're going to go out in the real worldAnd there's going to be painThere's going to be disappointmentThere's going to be peopleStealing your shitAnd you're going to have to knowHow to deal with thatAnd that's kind of like what school is
34:35You learn how to stand upThe bullies and all thatI'm not saying the kids should go to schoolAnd have miserable fucking experiencesBut like there is likeA certain element of itThat you got to let themFucking handle it themselves
34:46Right?The only way that you could possiblyI don't know how it would workYou would have to get rid ofAll the sociopathsAnd all the selfish fucking peopleIn the world firstYou would literally have to
34:59And you'd have to kill themThis whole fucking thingThat you're going to stick themOn a fucking islandYou know, all they're going to doIs just fuck each otherAnd make like fuckingRoyed it up sociopaths
35:09Selfish peopleAnd then eventuallyOne of them is going to knowHow to make a boatAnd then that's going to be itThen they're going to come overAnd we're all going to be over hereLike, you know
35:17Put your right hand inAnd make your right hand upFucking singing a hokey pokeyAnd we're going to get steamrolledYou like how I put myselfNot on the island?You like how in that storyI was the fucking hero
35:28And I wasn't a selfish cuntLike I wouldn't be over there?I don't knowIt is weirdBut I already know what I'm going to doI'm going toGet my daughter enrolledIn some sort of like
35:45You know, anti-bullied jujitsuFucking shitJust so my daughter knowsHow to handle herselfAnd then that's itAnd then just make sureYou don't abuse the skill setThat you now have
35:54And if anybody comes at youYou know, you fucking handle itIt gives you confidenceAnd then you don't have to spendYour whole fucking childhoodIn this depressive fogOf dreading going to schoolAnd shit
36:06You know, and I think backOf some of the periods I went throughAnd some of the shitSome other kids that I picked onWent throughI fucking was like, oh manThat's itI'm surprised too that like
36:16Teachers didn't interveneA little bit moreNot to the point that they're doing it nowTo the point that they're doing it nowWhere they're just fucking likeIt's almost like Reverse HitlerWhere everyone is includedBut they're also deciding
36:34Like who is the number one draft pickThey're still, you knowBoxing out other peopleIt's weirdIt's just a really fucking weirdI don't knowIt's just such a weird goddamn timeAll right, that's it
36:47With my little fucking pontificating thereLet's do a little bit of theSome of the reads here for the weekAll right, what do we got here?Who's first? Who's first?All right, good times, bad timesHow I learnedHey, Billy, bass drum balls
37:08I learned good times, bad timesWhen I was 12 or 13You motherfucker!Thanks to my drum teacherNo, that's awesome, manHe taught me heal downHe taught me heal down techniqueAnd showed me that the trick
37:23To getting those fast flutter kicksWas to move your foot halfway down the pedalYour heel should be completely off the pedalOh, yeah, I've seen thatYou just slide up and downThis counteracts the spring tensionAnd helps you play faster at the expense of powerOh, at the expense of power
37:42All right, eventually by doing this enoughYou will be able to play those fluttersWithout this...Without this trickIt's like training wheelsIf you play heal upYou should be able to make the swivel technique workIt's a valuable trick I have
37:58To have up your sleeveAnd you don't lose any punchI've included a link on how to do itIf you aren't too sureI also recommend playing cashmereAs a warm-up before jumping into good timesBad timesHe does some slower flutter kicks
38:13That will loosen you upI hope...I hope I could help you outHappy New Year and go fuck yourselfWhat I learned finallyBecause I was doing it the wrong wayThe first way I did itBefore I took any drum lessons
38:27When I would do itI would do this weird thingWhen I would curl my toe downPush and then almost likeI was almost doing that slide moveWith like my toesAnd I got plantar fissuritis in my footMy technique was so bad
38:40Then my drum teacherWas teaching me his techniqueAnd I didn't understand itAnd then I didn't go in for a whileAnd I learned it...I was almost doing like a reverse slideLike I was bringing my foot backAnd that was the slide
38:55And then pushing forward downSo the first one was like lightWas almost like an unaccented beatSo it was like da da da daAnd then another time I was doing itThe first one was louderIt was like da da da da daAnd it never sounded even
39:16So the way he just taught meWhich has been a total game changerIn like the last fucking three daysI've been messing with this shitIs...Alright, I play a DW drum pedalAlrightSo when you're just playing a single
39:34The ball of your...First of all, you sit backAnd you should be able to see your ankles a little bitI was sitting too closeSo my knee was directly above my footAnd that was fucking with...You know, my techniqueAnd it was passed up to a certain tempo
39:49It was getting in the waySo he had me move backWhich felt really fucking weird at firstAnd now it feels greatSo basicallyIf you were playing a singleYou just, you know, lift your leg upAnd boom, come right down on the DW
40:03But when you're playing...Hang on a sec...Ah fuckHang on, she's coming in hereAlright, the lovely knee is hereLet me...I've got to finish explaining something hereOkay
40:13How are you?I'm greatYou know, your shirt oddly matchesThe windscreen thereIt doesYeahSo anyways, the windscreen that I useWhen I'm inside
40:21So anyways, so if you're playing a singleYou just lift your foot upAll that hot air you're blowingThat's rightYou bring it right down on the DWBut then if you're going to play a doubleAll you do is you slide your foot backWhere you're right below the nine
40:35I play the nine thousandSo if you play the five thousandRight below the fiveAnd then you just bring your foot downLike you're playing a singleSo that first one is strongOkay, like a singleAnd then as, as, you know
40:49And you let the beater come off the headAnd you catch the rebound as you slide it upAnd then they're both strongAnd both evenAnd sound powerfulAnd it was just a completely different thingAnd what I ended up doingAt a slow tempo was just play
41:07Like in my time of dyingNot playing sixteenth on the hi-hatI was just playing dungSomething like that, whateverSo it makes sense to drummersOkayIt makes sense to drummersSo what's, is key in that
41:28It was whatever you playedLike the immigrant songIs if you're playing singles and doublesYou get that muscle memoryThat if you're playing a singleYou just keep your foot up at the top of the pedalAnd then when you play the doubleYou're bringing it back
41:40And what happens is your muscle memoryIs as you're playingWhatever the fuck you're playingRight before that first note of the doubleYour foot's already moving back into positionIt'd be the same thing if you're playing a double pedalWhere after, like when you first go from a singleTo a double pedal
41:53The fucking brain power that you have to useTo move your left foot from the hi-hatOver to the slave pedalIf you play like a double pedalIs like fucking ridiculousBut then after a whileYou just, your foot just knowsTo just sort of just slide
42:07Just to come over that, you knowLiterally four inchesBut when you first start outIt's kind of the same things like thatAlright, I'm doneSorry NiaYou literally just fucking glazed overLike probably eighty percent of the people
42:17Listened upon youBoom boom boomKa ka boomYesBoom boom boomKaNow those were all singlesSorry
42:25Boom chaBoom cha boomBoom chaDa da da da da daWhatever, it's soundproofIt's something that I doIt's something you should hearHow good they sound
42:36Oh, I've heard itYou can't hear itCan you hear it?No, I can't hear itFrom the house, noYeah, perfectThat's fucking perfectSo how are you?
42:44How was your Christmas?It was lovelyHow was your Christmas?It was wonderfulHow was your New Year?We had a nice ChristmasYes, we didYeah
42:53Oh, Cutie Pie still doesn't get the whole conceptShe was more into like opening the presentsYeah, she liked the openingAnd the ripping of the wrapping paperBut after that, she was like doneI was like, come on, open some more presentsAnd she was like, no presentsNo presents
43:07No presentsSo that was thatAnd I also loveWhat does she call the Christmas tree?Mumma treeMumma treeLike Christmas treeMumma tree
43:16Mumma treeSo cuteShe's so manipulative alreadyI knowShe knows how to get youYou know, because she knows how desperate we areFor her affection and her hugs and kissesSo she just uses that
43:31They know that already, don't they?Yeah, absolutelySo it's like, you know, she'll ask for somethingThat she knows you're not supposed to haveAnd I'm like, no, you can't have thatThis and thatAnd she'll wear me downI'll be like, all right
43:42You can have a littlePui mamaPui mamaOr she sees that I'm about to do itI've given inAnd she rushes over and gives me a kissAnd a hugSo it's like she just knows
43:52She knows what to doSo what's happening over hereOn the old podcast thereTrack suitOh, I'm loving this track suitTrack suit, track suitI got Bill all theA couple of track suits for Christmas
44:04Because it's just likeWhat he likes to live inSlash travel inSo you really do like thatI never doWhat's Verzi's been telling me to do foreverAnd I never haveYou always had like track pants on
44:17And stuff at the airportAnd like a zip upNo, because you know what happensBecause I forget my wallet or phoneBecause most of them don't have back pocketsThat was that timeI went to the airportAnd I missed my flight
44:30Because I had my phone in my front pocketAnd I wasn't even thinkingI didn't have my walletAnd I didn't have my licenseAnd then I had to fly fucking privateThat cost me a zillion dollarsOh, that's rightBecause it was an afternoon gig
44:40YeahSo I get super paranoidAnd then I don't likeI don't like sweatpants when I flyBecause shit just slides out of your pocketsAnd then your wallet goes underneath the seatAnd somebody has to find the fucking thingSo
44:55But other than thatThey're great to fly inSo I just, you know somethingI put it in theHopefully, yeah, see theseDon't have zip up pocketsThey don't have zip up pocketsOh, oh well
45:04Yeah, so this is a very vulnerableThis is like the thingThat the gypsy's over thereAre you not supposed to say gypsies, by the way?I don't knowLet's look upLet's see if that's now offensiveI don't think so
45:14I think you're not supposed to sayI got gypped anymoreBecause I think that's offensiveTo who?Gypsies?Gypsies?But I feel like you're not supposed to call them gypsiesI don't know
45:28Isn't there a TV show called likeGypsy Nation or something?I don't knowI think gypsies is fineBut maybe you should associate themWith like pickpocketing and being scammersOh, you mean like what happened to usWhen we were over there?
45:43Is rudeAnd you're not supposed to say thatYou're not supposed to say what the fuck is happeningNoAll right, hang onAll right, well then fineI don't need to get involved in thisBecause I'm going to fucking Eastern Europe
45:54Right, exactlyI should probably lay off the oldOkay, the harmful history of gypsyThis is on bitch mediaSo I don't think that this is going to beWhat is with all these fucking people asking for moneyAll rightAs a Romanian woman
46:13RightMore often called by the racial slur gypsyI didn't know that was a...That's a racial slurYeah, I feel like I learned that a couple years agoBut for Romanian peopleI watched the new network's original series GypsyYes
46:27With some trepidationThe show is a psychological thrillerFor the most part without many thrillsThat's about the Naomi Watch showThat I watched two episodes beforeAll rightAnd then forgot about thatThe show takes its inspiration from Stevie Nicks song Gypsy
46:42About a free-spirited woman who loves and disappearsTo me, that's what a gypsy wasA gypsy was just a nomadic personI didn't know any of this shit aboutPickpocket and all that shitThe mythosIs that how you say it?Mythos
46:57Of the gypsy is a stew of stereotypesThe thief, the fortune teller, the free spiritThe seductress and the liarAnd Jean hits all of themRebranding them as characteristics ofA wealthy white womanJust trying to find herselfThat's kind of true
47:16Wait, what's that song?Ooh, gypsy womanWhat's that song?It's from the 70s, right?No, it's witchy womanOhYou're so racist against gypsyYou're throwing that word in
47:30WowI'm notNo, you know I try to be sensitive to stuff like thatSo...What is it now?It's witchy woman?YeahOoh, witchy woman
47:41Witchy womanIt's not gypsy womanShe how-ha, she fly-haOkay, well, you obviously know the lyricsMore than I doWell, I think just for, you knowJust don't call anybody a gypsyAll right, outside of a Stevie Nicks song
47:56The Romanian people are an oppressed ethnic minorityWhose disparate roots date back to the 10th centuryIndia and are currently in the midstOf century-long human rights crisisSee, now it's interesting to meBecause they have their own countryWho's oppressing them?Romania, right?
48:13Don't they? Is that in their own country?YesI feel like everything that I'm sayingIs fucking offending somebody hereProbablyWho is oppressing them?I don't knowI mean, I know Russia controlled a lot of that part
48:25I was gonna say, is it Russia?Is it the Russians?Can we blame them?I feel like you can blame the Russians and it's okayI don't knowProbably notLong human rights crisisOne part is, one that is
48:39In part perpetuated by the stereotypes of the gypsiesYet almost no one but the Roma themselvesAre pushing back on the seriesTitle slurThe writing to the network and producersAre creating petition to change the show's titleAlong with simple ignoranceAnti-Romanian sentiment is so normalized
48:57That in 2017, a premier streaming serviceCan release a show that takes an actual racial slurAnd it's title and no one bats an eyelashWell, in defense of Netflix, over hereGypsy's sort of a cool, hey manLike, I'm not stuck in the matrix kind of thingLike over here, it doesn't mean thatLike, I never thought like
49:19Gypsy yet was definitely fortune tellerIt was alsoYeah, that's what I thinkI don't think of like, just a free-spirited hippieI wouldn't, like growing upYou hear like a gypsy personThat's someone who is, you knowYeah, doing like scams and stuff
49:34You heard that?I didn't hear thatThat's what I associated it withAnd then when you go to Europe and people were likeBe careful of the gypsies or RobbieYou know what I mean?And then I didn't know that gypsies were an actualEthnicity
49:48RightI just thought it was like a hippieAnybody could be a fucking hippie, manYou get a tambourine and grow your fucking hairAnd smoke a little grassThat's a hippieYeah, all of a sudden you're in the drum culture, right?That's not a hippie
49:59That's not a gypsyYou're in a drum circleYeah, hippie, but I'm no, no, no, no, no, noBut I'm saying, I thought gypsy was like thatWell, I could become a hippieIf I got some hair transplantsAnd started smoking some weed, manAnd just did, you know, wearing Bergenstocks
50:13I could be considered a hippieI didn't know that it was an ethnicityRightSo we're learning something hereWait, would you ever get one of those scalpTry, I wouldn't let you do itOne of those scalp, what do they call it?Scalp transplants?
50:26Like the tattoo scalpOh, yeah, I knowThat's different than a scalp transplantOff a murdererAnd then I have even more of a temperScalp transplantNot a scalp transplantYeah, I forget what it's called
50:42Anyway, someone on InstagramDoes it for peopleLike it's a new thing that he started to doAnd he calls it like the scalp shop or somethingAnd so I was watching a video of the processNo, it's not a new thingThat's been around for a whileOh, it has
50:55I know, yeahIt's a tattoo?Yeah, I knew a guy that did itIs it permanent then?No, it actually fadesAnd you're supposed to keep your head out of the lightBut what it looks likeIt ends up looking like
51:05I have a full head of hairBut I just tried to shaveI decided to shave it downYou just have like a five o'clock shadow on your headYeah, but then what's weird to meIs like, now I gotta shave my head every fucking dayRightBecause then it's gonna be weird
51:19Because then the stubble, the real hairIs gonna be coming upOh, yeahAnd the rest of the shitI think you can go like a day or twoBefore it starts looking stupidYeah, I don't knowI am not a big believer in fucking with nature
51:32Okay, so if nature is making your head fallYour hair fall out, then let it goYou play the hand that you are dealtAnd you play it to the bestRightSo I keep myself in shapeI grew the beard, I just shaved it offAnd you know, this is who I am
51:48We were talking about shaving your beard offThe other dayI was just like, why would you ever do that?Because I miss my faceOh, JesusNia, you may be familiar with the word gypWhich means to cheat someoneRight
52:03As a gypsy wouldIt's as slur as obviously offensive as Jew downAnd yet people still say itSay what?Jew downYou never heard that?You grew up in Massachusetts for a while?I mean, I lived there until I was like six
52:19I grew up in AtlantaI wish you would thinkYeahYou down there, they're Jewish peopleThey got tailsLike they went to a whole other level down thereAnd yet people still say in every dayImagine replacing gypsy
52:34As the show title with another ethnic slurThe show would never have been madeAnd yet gypsy was madeRiding on the back of the romanticPopulation of the world of fashion, beautyAnd social mediaYeah, that's how I view itAlright, so I didn't know
52:48I will stop saying gypsyYeahAnd stop saying people getting gypsies out of thingsI will say RomanianWait, speaking of tailsCause you mentioned tails earlierDid you see that video on Twitter?Romanian woman
53:07Did you see that video on Twitter of the raccoonThis is in FloridaA raccoon, you know, like one of my least favorite animalsLike attacking a lizardLike one of those big fucking lizardsAnd like chasing it through a parking lotOh my god, me and the heebie-jeebieJust thinking about it
53:24Chasing it through a parking lotAnd just like sinking its likeTeeth into its neckAnd just holding it downAnd then like dragging it out of frameAnd then the person pans overTo what looks like a snake flapping aroundAnd you're just like
53:36What the fuck is going onThen you realize it's the tailIt's the lizard's tailThat has somehow gotten likeAway from the lizard's bodyAnd it's still flapping around on its ownIt's the most fucked up video everI love it
53:48First nature video I've ever seenI gotta watch itI fucking hate reptilesIt's so awfulIt's so awfulI don't hate reptilesReptile womanReptile woman
53:59Can you imagine calling a show reptiles?Uh, yesDid I come in here to answer a question?No, no, noI want to see, uhJust hanging outRaccoonVersa
54:11LizardYeah, FloridaCause you know all that should always happenOh, yeahFloridaIt's fucking crazyRaccoon kills iguanaIguana
54:21Aw, man, I like iguanasIggyYou're about to get your heart brokenOh, noOh, yesAw, I like itIt's brutalIt's so brutal
54:36Dude, what the fuck does Gordon RamsayHave to do with the goddamn lizardOh, I see, he's fixing these people's restaurantThat's hilariousDude, my favorite part about him going to those restaurantsIs when Gordon Ramsay starts gaggingThere's always something in the fucking freezerSo over the top
54:53No, it smells that badOh, when they have meat from like, you know2002 in thereYeah, oh my godOne time, like heI thought he was just actingAnd then the cameraman almost pukedAnd I was like, oh, wow, that's real
55:05Alright, here we goOh, noOh, no, he's goingWowOhShould I stop the fight?NoYeah, he's dead
55:21Yo, let him go, dogI know, it's himWhere the fuck did that goddamnHoly fuck, dudeHoly fuckAw, Jesus ChristLet me ask you this, ChrisNobody has an iguana, it's a pet
55:43Somebody just let that thing goWhat you just saw was how long I would last in prisonYou know, I was really, like, that guy was sayingThat fucking lizard did not have a goddamn chanceIt's not natural to fucking FloridaSomebody got sick of feeding it grasshoppersAnd it just let it goAnd then it got eaten by a fuck
56:04You imagine that lizard being likeWhat in the fuck is this thing?You would survive in prisonBased on your witsGood looksYeah, wellNo, because you, like, have so much anger inside of youThat you would be able to channel it
56:17And you'd be able to, like, the funny, like, killer guyHe'll make you laugh, but oh, he'll make you cryNoSorryAnything I've learned from anybody in prison is just likeSome of the toughest fucking guys I've ever metThey were like, do not go in thereActing like you're the toughest fucking guy
56:33Because you're notWho has conversations like that?Like, why do you even think about, like, how you would do in prison?Like, is there something that you need to tell me?No, it's just you just watch those thingsI mean, it's a fucking optionYeahIt can happen
56:48I never think about thatI never think about how would I do in prisonWell, I don't live in your privileged worldOh, here we goWait, but I wanted to say something about the, umWe'll try to say lessOh, wait, waitSo that guy on the video was saying
57:01Oh, should I break up the fight?Should I stop it?And I said noI don't understand why peopleFeel like they need to get, like, involved in natureI was reading this articleBecause we already were involvedWhat do you mean?
57:14Because whoever fucking bought that lizard to FloridaWas a white person on some levelsWhat I'm guessingWell, I'm just saying, like, sometimes you just have to letI left this comment on the New York Magazine Instagram pageBecause they had a whole article about how seals are snorting eelsSeal, sea lions are snorting eels as like thisThey're, like, they're young and they snort them
57:37It's like, for fun or something like thatAnd someone left a comment likeOh, I hope whoever took that picture, likePut the camera down and, like, intervenedAnd, like, helped that poor sea lionAnd I was like, sometimes you just got to let nature, natureWait, wait, wait, wait, wait, waitThere's snorting eels?
57:53There's snorting eelsWaitYou have to Google itSea lions are snorting eelsLike, like, doing, like, a line of cokeYesThere's a picture of a snail with, like, a sea lionWith a very satisfied look on its face
58:04With an eel up its noseThat's just what they're doing nowI don't know whyBut someone was like, oh, somebody should interveneAnd pull it outAnd it's like, just let nature do what it's going to doThat's them planking or, like, throwing the water bottleAnd having it land
58:20That's like their little InstagramYeah, that's exactly what scientists were sayingThey're like, it's a new thing that they just apparentlyAre just doing for fun because they can doSo it's like, just let them snortLike, you don't have to get involved to, like, sealLike, what is, I don't knowI don't understand that impulse
58:35To intervene when nature is natureingThose white people are control freaksIt's one thing if you see a coyoteAttacking your cat or dog, of courseBut I mean, if it's a sea lion and an eelOr an iguana and a fucking raccoonSo what you're saying, you're sayingThat a dog and a cat is more of an animal
58:54Worth saving than a lizard or an eelThat is animal racismAnimalphobicSpeciesmYou're wild-a-phobicYou don't like wild animalsNo, I'm saying if they're in the wildAnd they're doing their thing
59:09Just let them do what they're going to doWhy do you need to get involved?And, like, how do you decide who's side to be on?Just because the iguana is losingAll of a sudden, you're anti-the raccoonLike, you knowYou go lighter skinYou pick the lighter skin animal
59:25Okay, on repairing electronicsI'm not saying Gypsy anymoreMy apologies to Romanian peopleOr GypsYeahNone of thatScrewedBut then that's offensive prostitutes
59:36I thought you were going to say likeToolboxes or somethingCarpenters, alrightHe screwed meHey, I've been a carpenterAnd I've never screwed anybodyOn repairing electronicsHello, Bill
59:50You mentioned in a previous podcastThat you like getting electronics repairedAnd even knew a guy that did thatIt's amazingWith a quick YouTube videoPeople can repair their own productsWell, guess what?Apple, like always
01:00:03Is that one company that likes to shit all over thatThey see shipments with quality third partiesParty parts from these repair shopsBecause they want you to pay the 800 plusYou would otherwise be savingWowTrusted repair shops get third party parts illegalBut Apple likes...
01:00:23Legally, sorryBut Apple likes to have customersHold them from these guysAnd make them pay obnoxious feesTo receive the packagesWhen you have the timeTake a look at this short videoYou know what?
01:00:36We should ask the peopleThat we go to for our electronics repairsLike our computers and stuffWe should ask them about thatYou know what?We found a repairmanWho just fixed our stoveAnd it's fucking amazing
01:00:50What did you say?He made that stove his bitchHe didHe took the whole thing apartSo now we have a 10-year-old Viking stoveThat is now 2018It's basically a resto modIf you're into cars
01:01:03Which is if you had a 1965, whateverAnd on top it looks like 1965Oh wait, so it doesn't do...It doesn't do that anymoreNo, it doesn'tI wish you wouldn't eitherI don't have time to watch thisBut I'm definitely going to watch this
01:01:16It's called...The name of this video isApple under fire for allegationOf controversial business practicesDid you get this for the baby?Oh waitIs this yours?Oh yeah, I was going to give that
01:01:29To Bert Kreischer, I forgotThat is a Florida state half-shirtThat I bought in 1981 or 82I'm looking at itI never wore itA crop topI never wore itA vintage Florida state crop top
01:01:42Yeah, half-shirtCrop topNo, they were called half-shirts back thenYou're going to give it to Bert Kreischer?YeahWow, can he fit like an arm in here?No, I didn't realize it's a smallYou know what, Nia?
01:01:55I'd like to see you wear thatOh god, noI am so not in the crop top shapeYou know what?I'm not in crop top shapeBut it is what it isI think you areAlso, you mentioned your DVD
01:02:06Or Blu-ray playerDidn't have HDMI for your new TVYou can buy an RCA to HDMI converterFor a couple of bucksTo plug in an old video equipmentOr RGB to HDMIDepending on what you haveRCA is the red
01:02:22Is the cable with red, white, and yellowRGB is the cable with red, green, and blueSo this is a real fucking nerdy-ass podcast today, huh?No, this is...As-holeBitchy woman, baeWatch it, watch itAlright, we got time to read two more here
01:02:43Home saunaMerry Christmas, Billy Big BallsMerry Christmas to you and yoursAnd I hope you're having a lovely restful festive breakI just wanted to weigh inOn your home saunas...Home sauna commentsI couldn't remember...
01:02:57I couldn't recommend getting one moreI live in wet whalesAnd built a sauna three years agoIt's the perfect way to level your body and mindThree times a week is perfect, but I generally do twoThe best way I've found isFifty minutes in the saunaTwo, a cold shower
01:03:13Cold outdoor showerThree repeat stepsOne and twoThree times in allThe level of chill I have afterwardsCan only otherwise be obtained by illegal meansIt's awesome, I'm telling you, NiaThis is gonna help us
01:03:26If I get something like thisLooking forward to seeing you in ManchesterI fucking love ManchesterOkayYeah, they're like...I went there, I was likeThese guys like the same kind of fucking lunaticsI remember in Boston
01:03:37Same thingBall breakin', drinkin', fuckin'...I love itAnd I'm thinking Liverpool's gonna be the same wayLike all up to thereI'm not doing Newcastle, I don't thinkBut I just feel like all up thereIs that type of shit
01:03:50Where London is more like ManhattanWhere it's all refinedOh, it's refinedThanks for brightening up my work weekAnd look after yourselfI would love to figure out a way to do thisI just don't have the room hereWhat's wrong with the steam, though?
01:04:03How is that different from...Well, a sauna, you can go way harderBecause with steam, it's so wetI mean, with steam, you can actually sit in a saunaAt like close to 200 degreesAnd if you were in a saunaWhere it was just all...Not a sauna, a fucking steam
01:04:20Yeah, you'd literally be getting to the pointWhere the water on you was getting closeTo starting to boilLike you could burn yourselfOh, okayI never understood thisAnd this is also me speakingJust trying to remember repeating
01:04:31What people were talking about saunasBut I am sold on themTo the point, there's one...I know that maybe you could go take a sauna todayIf you wanted toAnd they have the finished oneNot like finished, I'm doneLike Finland
01:04:48And they're known for that shitAlthough recently, they just had a competitionAnd somebody fucking died over itYou're not really big on sitting in a big hot boxYou can't say I didn't tryNo, I would tryBut I don't knowIt's never been my thing to just sit in like
01:05:02Well, very hotIt's not really...My thing to just sit in the hot...The old hot boxI like the hot boxTo sit in the hot boxAlright, I gotta wrap this upCause I got a phone call in a minute
01:05:15Alright, threesome with my ex-girlfriendDear Billy Barron Skull BurrOhI've recently been going throughSome of your catalyped podcastsAnd highlightsAnd I've become a huge fanI always have your podcast playing
01:05:29At any opportunity I getBut without further adoHere's my dilemmaHe's 16 in high schoolI've been starting dating this girl at schoolWe've been going steadyAnd pardon my graphicThis has been doing it like rabbits
01:05:43Now these are like underage peopleAm I allowed to read this?I feel like this is the pointWhere you stopStop, this is where I stopRight?Okay, alrightI'm gonna stop with underage threesome
01:05:52Um...Whoop whoopIs that the cops?I'm not coolYeahHey NiaLet's not go thereWhy don't you hype your Instagram page
01:06:02Hey everybodyFollow me on IGSorryYou're looking at meJust make me laughEverybody knows my InstagramIt's Nia's alter egoEverybody
01:06:14How cocky is thatNia's alter egoNia's alter egoIt's the same on TwitterAs it is on InstagramUm...YeahThere you go
01:06:24Follow meThere you goAs you build your brandAs I build my brandCan we come to EnglandWhen you do thatWhen we go to what?Build your brand in England?
01:06:36NoCan we, me and the babyCome to your England runUh, yeahSure, you kinda put me on the spot hereYeah, I knowAskin' me on the micOkay, evidently this trip is gonna cost uh...
01:06:50Well, I figure you do your showsAnd then you can stay a little bit longerAnd you know, I don't knowYou know I love LondonYesI love LondonDon't make me laughDon't make me laugh
01:07:01Every channel with a long faceUm, no I was...Glued meThat's our favorite movie of all timeOh yeahI'm sweating hereRoastingBacon
01:07:13BoilingBoop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boopIt's like a saunaIt's like a sauna?YeahOh, he just came full circleThat's me and BB's favorite movieI'm having a calamari
01:07:27What you havin'What you havin'What you havin'And we ran into them that timeYes, round treeYes, round treeYesYou will
01:07:36You willNoNo, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, noMake me look like a right copFuck off, you're doin' itI hope this plane crashesThat's my favorite lineDirty DD
01:07:54That movie's so horribleI love when he talks about how you get molestedHe touched meOh, on the plane, yeahI was scared, I didn't know what to doI've been mo- I've been touchedI've been touchedHe totally fuckin' gets out of it
01:08:08Go see Sexy Beast, if you haven'tNot go see it, I guess, RentedOr, I don't know how you procure old movies nowadays, butI'm sure it's on one of these streaming servicesYes, streaming servicesStreaming servicesIf it's not on Netflix, we need to have a conversation with Ted Sarandos about thatTed Sarandos
01:08:27Sexy Beast on NetflixThat's rightAnd I was also hoping they were gonna haveWhat is it, The Good Guys?What's that Ryan Gosling movie that I fuckin' love it?I'm obsessed with that movieI fuckin' loved itI still haven't seen that movie
01:08:40Ryan Gosling andRussellRussell CroweRussell Crowe will always be my favoriteBecause he threw that phone at the fuckin' guyI wouldn't help him with the phoneAnd I always thought how satisfying that would beWhen someone is not helping you with something
01:08:54And you throw the thingLiterally the thing they're not helping you withYou throw it at themSure there's regret afterwardsBut in the momentIn the momentIn the momentIt feels so good
01:09:04It feels so goodOh, the releaseThat's an angry saunaAlright, I gotta goHappy New Year everybodyThank youHappy New YearThank you, once again my apologies to the people in the OR last night
01:09:16I fucked upHad I knownThat's all on me, that's not on the comedy storeSo send all your complaints to meAlright, that's it, go fuck yourselvesAnd I'll check in on youHopefully on ThursdayI think I'll still be traveling
01:09:29I'll be ahead of the gameI'll be ahead of the gameSee you in 2019Oh JesusAlright, bye byeYou'll always find one in your neighborhood on Beepat.beBeepatTogether, better for nature
01:09:58And for all of usCampaign in cooperation with the ORVAM
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