Monday Morning Podcast - Monday Morning Podcast 2-13-23

Episode Date: February 14, 2023

Bill rambles about Super Bowl LVII, 'Love At First Bite', and dressing like Neil Peart in February. Zip Recruiter:  Try Zip Recruiter right now by going to www.ZipRecruiter.com/BURR Grove:  Go to www.Grove.com/BURR today to get a free starter set worth up to fifty dollars with your first order.

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday What is today February 13th? 2023 holy shit, it's the day before Valentine's Day that fucking made up bullshit fucking holiday Where a man has to celebrate his woman and she doesn't have to do shit. I I Love it. Huh? Are women talking about that women are talking. Oh My god, I have to go see that movie women are talking

Only white women could be victims in the 1800s while simultaneously owning slaves Sorry, I have no idea what that movie's about. I just know the time period Anyway Welcome to the podcast. I hope you guys all had a nice weekend I know most of you did most of you guys if you were like me How great was it yesterday if your team wasn't in the Super Bowl? Actually, I should say didn't make the playoffs because you know, you've long since Like Ben like I I get it

It's not us this year and then you could just enjoy the play I don't think I've enjoyed a fucking Super Bowl like that in a long time and I was joking with My father-in-law going like, you know, it's just kind of nice I kind of love that the Patriots aren't in this so now I don't have to die a thousand deaths It's kind of nice that they're not in it and he goes well, I think you're gonna have that feeling for a long time And we both laughed and started to cry But I sat down yesterday, I had no fucking clue what was gonna happen. I just wanted to see a great game I thought Kansas City was gonna win. I thought they were gonna cover but I wanted to see the Eagles win and

What a fucking game that was it was a great game I know there's a lot of people upset with that call at the end They're like what though you can't do you can't you cannot make that call you can't you can't do that Yes, he held the receiver not once but twice But you cannot make that call right there and I love all the people that are actually in football Who are talking who played that game who I'm who are talking about it going like you know, it's just a shame They fuck people out of overtime Da da da da da and all of this shit. This is my number one not my number one

It's in my top five pet peeves is When there's a call at the end of the game and everybody ignores the first 59 minutes of the fucking game everybody ignores wait a minute Wait a minute. How did we get here? How is this game tied How in the fuck have you scored 35 or 35 fucking points and this game isn't over Whatever the fucking score was right I Mean I Think it's very easy to sit there and look at that that play and then automatically assume that KC was not gonna score

If they don't make that call It's easy to assume that if it goes into overtime and then then you would have won or whatever This is my hot take From a fucking unathletic fucking freckled-kitted man here The eagles never should have been in that position At the end of the fucking game Okay, the Kansas City Chiefs could not have done more to lose that fucking game

The time of possession the amount of first downs The eagles should have put them the fuck away. They didn't Kansas City was nice enough to miss a field goal They were nice enough to show up with the quarterback with only one good leg The eagles fucked his leg up even more before the half the guy the purse throw it he guy. He's he's fucking my homes The man is in agony You got him on the fucking ropes and you let him off the hook How many fucking delay a game penalties Did the eagles take

They let up not one but two defensive touchdowns one of them the stupid rules was nice enough to bring back remember Fucking Jalen Hertz throws the ball the guy catches the ball And the corner does his job separates him from the fucking ball runs it in for a score He didn't catch it long enough He has to say one Mississippi two Mississippi And then you can hit him and separate him and then it's a fucking catch All right, and all you guys go, oh, it wasn't your catch wasn't a catch Oh, yeah

If you threw if you threw a ball the a little toddler son and it was like that And he caught it and then your your older brother came and he bumped into him He dropped the ball you'd still be like nice catch It was a nice catch son. I'm proud of you The fucking eagles let up the longest punt return In Super Bowl history I mean, I don't know what to tell you here your defense let up more than 30 fucking points That's you had a 10-point lead and you you just

You let it get away from you I think Jalen Hertz played an unbelievable fucking game The throws the adjustments a j brown was making Was amazing, but like there was no fucking reason How about like travis kelsey You know you didn't think they were gonna throw to him the fucking guy was wide open the whole first half Never should have been in that situation It sucks that they made that fucking call when they made it, but like he did hold them

I've seen like guys who were in football going. I mean, yeah, he held him But yeah, you know, you can't make that call there. It's like, okay, so you can hold there Like what the fuck are we supposed to be doing here? So I don't know I just feel like uh You can't you can't put it on that That one call you the eagles should not have been there. They dominated first downs They dominated time of possessions probably yardage too. I would think

And somehow in the end kansas city is is in there your special teams fucked you So, I mean, I don't know that pacheco kid was running All over hell By the way wearing tyreek hill's old number and then in the meantime, nobody really saw a story which was k.c Was just disrespected all year tyreek hill leaves. Everybody goes. There's no fucking way. They're gonna do shit myself included We're all like, oh my god, russell wilson went to den for Right You got what's his face down there in san diego nobody in and there was a minute people were talking to me

Maybe the radios will do something Everybody overlooks the chiefs and then they went out and they fucking won the thing again. So congratulations to the chiefs Uh, somehow pulling out that game I mean, I can't say somehow they played great patrick mahomes played great The eagles played great. It was a great game. I just hate that that call was in the end So now everybody can sit there and be like, oh, that's because patrick mahomes is the prom queen. Yeah, he is the prom queen He is the prom queen. There's always gonna be well, there wasn't prom queens when I was a kid

You know, you could beat the shit out of quarterbacks But you know, ever since during the whole brady errant tom brady was the prom queen Peyton manning was the prom queen before that at the rival high school They're all that, you know, it's an entertainment sports league. They're gonna protect people like that, but he The eagles never should have been in that fucking position. You should have put them the fuck away You should have put them the fuck away and you didn't i'm sorry I'm sorry. That's just uh, just you know, it is it is what it is And uh, you know

I don't know everybody's probably gonna cry about that Last thing. I mean as much as patrick mahomes was the prom queen. What about the eagles coach? I mean, how much camera time did that guy get in the first half? They weren't trying to make that guy a star in case because when it was looking like the eagles were gonna win Anytime that even if there was an incomplete pass by kansas city, they cut to him going, you know doing the incomplete thing And i'm sitting at home like I get it the eagles coach is happy when something good happens for the eagles You know what? I don't need to see that What am I sitting here thinking that he's not happy? So, I mean there's a little bit of that too

all right They covered their bases They did feel good stories about both quarterbacks Try to make both of them little tearjerker stories. There's brothers playing in the game They did all of that shit that they do before the olympics. So then by the end of it. You don't know who to root for Right I thought it was a great game. I thought that guy did hold the receiver Two times

I'm when I watched the play. I was just like wow that that ball was way off and then they showed the replay. I was like, oh, well, that's why Then everybody's like what the fuck it un-catchable ball. Yeah, when you hold the guy I Saw an analyst go literally like yeah, I mean yeah, he held the guy, but you can't call that there. It's like why not Why can't you call that there? So you're allowed to hold in the end of the fucking game. I don't get this is a thing. I don't have a dog in this fight all right, and uh I can't stand, you know, I'm just so happy that my homes didn't do a forward lateral

So I didn't have to listen to the announcers go like oh my god. That is the greatest three yards. Fuck. Did you see what the fucking thing? They just lose their minds and they've been losing their minds About patrick bow home since his first monday night football game where I remember that guy was going like I hope you appreciate What it is that you're seeing here and the guy was basically just having a good game And that was when but they were in a panic because paint manic had just retired and tom brady was obviously like well When the hell's he gonna retire? They had no idea that he was gonna go on for like another six seasons So that's what they do So now he's the new guy

He's definitely the new guy, but you know He showed up with one stiletto heel broken off and you know, I'm the prom queen showed up limping you know You had him and you let him off the hook um um my condolences to eagles fans Uh, but you know, you can't let up more than fucking 30 points, but granted so did the chiefs I mean both defenses didn't play well right we could say that But

The cans can's a city defense did score a touchdown or two. They only gave him one How that isn't a catch? I'll just never understand how you can throw a ball to a guy and he fucking catches the thing No, then didn't catch it for long enough. He's not bobbling it. He just catches it Um, they also gave that eagles that catch, you know, where the guy bobbled it and would put it up near his helmet Why that was a catch? I have no fucking idea when they called back the other ones. So I don't know All right, bill you made your point um So there you go. Congratulations to the Kansas City chiefs winning their third

Their third Super Bowl I'll tell you what annoyed the fucking shit out of me though Was in the end of the game. They say to Patrick. We'll have bad you could sit on this. Is this a dynasty? Is this a dynasty? Is what a dynasty We haven't won in three years and we lost a Super Bowl. So basically now you can win a Super Bowl Lose a Super Bowl not to win the next year And then win the next year

for two titles In four years is now considered a dynasty. I'll tell you this when the patriots Won in 2001 lost an o2 Didn't you know didn't make it there an o2 And then one in o3 o4 when they said it was a dynasty I said that was bullshit when I was growing up. You had to win three in a row All right, now we're in the fucking t-ball era. You can't hit the quarterback. So you can basically win one Lose one, but he came so close

right Not even be there the next fucking year losing the afc championship game and then win the next year And then they're throwing around the dynasty word. I don't I don't agree with that All right, the last dynasty I saw Was the new york yankees When they won in uh 98 99 2000 And then the lakers You know asterisk pylon team, you know, well, wait the yankees were also pylon team, but not 98 99 2000

They were whatever. It's it's a whole new thing. It's it's an entertainment sports league Gamblin's legal It's it's it's all out the fucking window at this point. I think that you should you should give a fuck As much as a free agent does Here's my question. Um, and by the way, I did have a double shot of espresso. So if I'm talking a little fast here, all right um What about tyreek hill do you think it was worth it? To go down there

to florida I mean, they did have a good season till everybody got hurt their quarterback got hurt What would you guys choose you already have a super bowl ring you get a big contract no state taxes masks or vex vaccines right down in florida, but alligators Alligators It's cocaine Some of the hottest women in the world

Or do you stay in kansas city? Huh Maybe he got sick of the prom queen. Maybe he knew that no matter what he did on the field He was never going to be prettier than patrick mahomes That even though patrick only fucking Through the purse three yards and tyreek then turned around and ran the other 97 That they were just gonna be like to have the intestinal fortitude to throw the purse in your own end zone I mean, that's just I mean you can't teach that. I hope you guys appreciate

Meanwhile tyreek hill is out running the fucking jet the military jet flyover Jet the military jet flyover at the beginning of the fucking game. You think it was you think they give a fuck It must bug him on some level When dr. Ferney pacheco was wearing his number who at that whole game when they kept saying pacheco That name just popped in my head dr. Ferney pacheco That was from a long I hate how my computer just reminded me that tomorrow is valentine's day Just to let you know tomorrow is valentine's day Let me see here dr

Ferdy, I think it was ferdy but checo Let me see what the fuck is to see pacheco something like that Oh, there he is Dr. Ferney was a physician in corner man. Oh, that's right For world heavyweight boxing champion Muhammad Ali. That's all I heard growing up dr. Ferney pacheco. How is the champ feeling? You know when I was a kid a pacheco was like a 60 year old dentist with coffee breath

And now I just love that that name came back pacheco. How about that hit he took two, huh? Good lord. It was a great game um Sorry if I came a little hard on the fucking eagles fans. I was just going back and forth with like verzi And he was saying even this guy said it even that guy said it. You can't make that fucking call there You know I mean, they can't make that call. Of course they can they can call 30 something falls in the Celtics in a game seven In fucking 15 on the Lakers they can do whatever they want their entertainment leagues

Well, we can't have the Celtics win two two years in a row. I mean we got to get this Lakers fucking Celtics then go on again We'll look the other way when Kevin McHale gives us Kevin Garnett for nobody um Anyway, but I thoroughly enjoyed it. We had Kansas City barbecue. We had Philly cheesesteaks and then root beer floats and uh I had a nice low-key barely anybody over at my house

Uh super bowl party And uh, you know the first 10 days of the month are gone. So I'm back to being billy bad boy So I had uh I had my little nice. I had a double espresso with the cigar I'm telling you guys you got to do this. Just just be a fucking choir boy for the first 10 days of the month You have no idea how good the the first cup of coffee tastes after that It's it's like being reborn It's just fucking too low. Why is this damn thing?

I Swear to god like something always comes in and fucks with the volume Maybe I gotta be doing it, right? I got a roach in here that doesn't like my podcast um Anyway, um, so that's it now I will say this. I really like the Eagles coach um And I thought he uh

I just don't know how the fuck they lost that game If you look at it on paper when they had all of those yards all of that fucking time of possession Um And Jalen hurts how about some of those fucking throws he was making And the catches aj brown's adjustment on that that first long touchdown between those two defenders And I don't know. I thought you know, it sucks that you know He was switching the ball from one hand to the other and it caused a touchdown um

But this is this is the upside to this. I think the eagles come back um I think they come back and I think they got everything and that they're gonna win another one I was gotta be honest with you. I was really hoping that they were gonna win because when I really enjoyed watching their celebration the first time they won it Even though they beat my team There was nothing funnier than that fucking guy running down the subway platform And he bumped into the pole and sort of rolled towards the train and everybody for half a second had to be like, oh fuck did that

They went from like absolute euphoria the eagles finally did it To like, oh my god, did we just see a guy die? It's just like I don't know at fucking I've been there I've definitely been there as a sports fan. I actually talked to my buddy the other day. I said, I don't think I will ever get over those two Superbowl losses to the giants. I've done a lot of work to try to block it out

But I've kind of learned during my time off This is such a weird thing that I've learned I learned that Sadness is actually an emotion I never viewed it As an emotion. I just have viewed it as I almost viewed it like it was the bully That I didn't want to fight and I was just a I'll walk around this side of the school and it just it doesn't go away but uh You know when I was feeling all

you know Melancholy had the blues whatever you want to call it. I just sat in it I just said fuck this. I'm not gonna uh You know go fill up my day I'm gonna play drums and then I'm gonna fly a helicopter and I'm gonna go for a hike and I'll do a french lesson I'm not doing that. I'm just gonna fucking sit here On the back porch in in this and just be sad and I got it. It was one of the most healthiest things I've ever done This I'm talking to men here because we try to avoid this

I just sat there and I was sad and I tried to figure out why I was sad. I figured it out and I just honored it And I just stayed in it for like a day and a half And then you kind of you just kind of come through the other side of it You know, it's like a leg cramp He's kind of kind of just kind of go, you know Get through it. But now like I understand it. So now it isn't like this masked thing

That's approaching me. I know what it is and I know I know what's behind it And I can just sort of sit there and be like, oh, I guess those feelings are coming up again and then just actually experience them And uh, it's just done great for my it's great. That's a great thing to do if you don't want to If you don't want misdirected anger When you know, we try to run from that shit then later on that day when you're with your wife and her relatives are over You know, you want salt on this? Uh

Yeah, I'd like some salt. Did you say you wanted salt? Yeah, I want salt All right. Jesus. What the fuck Like that stuff happens less And then I've been doing this thing that I saw and I got confirmed Um By someone else who isn't really a doctor but that whole you take a big inhale And when your lungs are filled up you take a another quick one Through your nose and then you exhale you do that a couple of times and I guess it's been shown to drop the stress

in your body and uh I do that when I drive now I did that when that guy was yelling and he was sort of spitting on me and my wife When I turned around and I told him to you know To stop in so many words Um, I was sitting there, you know, when you start squeezing the water bottle The anger's coming up and you're like hey, maybe I should try and see some of that shit that I learned in that taibo class actually works

I mean, how long do I really got to fight this guy the security's right there This fight's gonna last all of eight seconds as long as I get the first couple in I'll take a few to the side of the mountain melon. I'll tuck my head down. I'll take a few Just a fucking hit him once and I just went And I did it twice and I was just like I don't want to fucking do it. Why would I do that? You know this guy's he's from Greece The other guys from like Germany or something. They're fucking They're watching the Los Angeles Lakers

I mean that they are experiencing America They should be ridiculously excited All right, he's not spitting on purpose. He's just hammered All right, if you just walk away from this fucking moment Okay In an hour You're never gonna see these people again And you can get into an uber

with your wife Not have her bail you out of jail Not have to worry about getting sued and just get the fuck out of here Oh, oh, let's let's you know get out of the ego here bill not have to go to the hospital because you were fighting somebody half your fucking age That still has all this testosterone I love how I just assumed that I was gonna win against him and his other friend. They were in the prime of their fucking life I really am an asshole um

But we know this. All right. So anyway, uh, I know I came I shouldn't have come in that hard against the eagles I thought it was a great fucking game and I The fucking eagles have an unbelievable quarterback and they have a great coach And they have a great team and I think that they're gonna be there and uh, Contrary to my one bad show that I had Everybody thinks I hate Philly. I don't I actually

Love that city And I think the people are hilarious and I was talking to a buddy of mine Was saying that they actually and this is this is this comes from a place of love Brotherly love they actually out meathead the meatheads From the state of massachusetts, which is a really hard thing to do And uh, I love a meathead You know, I never vibe with the midwest

You know, I just they remind me of canadiens where it's that being nice, but there's this passive aggressiveness underneath it Uh, I love the south um I don't know. I just did something about the pace down there I love the duality of how they like to chill But they also like to make their cars go ridiculously fast you know They're like super nice and then they're also in a white supremacist group, but just the push pull of them. I'm kidding. Um, they're not all in it

Uh, yeah I never vied with the uh, the hostile pacific northwest liberal They never used to be like that they used to be earthy crunchy and then somewhere they just became these fucking belligerent Uh Somewhere around the time When white liberals started drinking paps blue ribbon, that's when it really went off the rails you know When they were all college educated, they were like, let's let's pretend we fucked up in school

And got a state job and sat around drinking paps blue ribbon That fucking swill Let's pretend we fucking work for a living and not you know try to build a website or an app Whatever the fuck it is. What am I even talking about right now? I don't know Um, all right Did I did I did I kind of do did I do it justice that that's my take on the Super Bowl? Um There's always gonna be the fucking The Wayne Gretzky that the league is gonna fucking protect there is always gonna be that type of shit

But when you got them on the ropes, you know, you gotta fucking finish them off and they didn't they let them back in the goddamn game And uh, and now there's no football There is no football, but you know, we do have moto gp starting up Formula one is starting up march madness is coming up You got all those acc finals and all of the sec finals and all of that shit to get into the big dance It's gonna be great and then before you know it baseball is here I know a lot of you guys don't like baseball because you know They don't put you up on the jumbo tron enough and the fucking dj doesn't play throughout the entire fucking game

Whatever the hell it is. That's missing. I love baseball um Actually watch this instagram clip of highlights of uh Nolan ryan I know he started off on the Mets, but like to me peak Nolan ryan was when he was on the fucking houston astros With those great 1970s uniforms the ones that the great jr richards wore um

To me that was like, you know 104 mile an hour fastball Nolan ryan, you know, they had this whole clip of watching guys That like their knees buckling when he throws this ridiculous curveball like they're ready to jump out of the way And the ball curves back in for a strike And like I would say 60 percent of that Was his curveball and the other 40 percent was they knew that you know, this guy You know, if i'm crowding the plate will throw it at my head and I think he threw it enough guys That everybody was worried about that when they went up there. Yeah, and those were the fucking days

When a pitcher went out like a power pitcher like that went out there and the other team was scared shitless The whole fucking game And if you crowded the plate he threw one right at your fucking head And if he hit you he hit you The benches didn't clear I guess maybe sometimes they did but not really it was just Like a power pitcher really could command the game back then like the level of control that he had over the game was insane um, all right, let's do the reeds here for this week grove

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To help your job catch the eye of I mean, is that the kind of person you want to hand you want to hire? Some of you can't even fucking fill out an application because it's too long Yeah Back in my day you sat down you filled out an application and you liked it Um, the worst thing about becoming a grumpy old man is actually knowing that you're doing it You know if I was actually lost in it Be a lot easier

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Dot com slash burr spell out burr burr burr zip recruiter. I should spell out recruiter z i p r e c r u i t e r All right for public school kids. That was zip recruiter not just recruiter. All right the smartest way to hire all right Um, all right disco vampire movie You know, buddy of mine actually told me it was something love at first bite or something like that Uh, dear much mozzarella legs

Thanks for the twice weekly dump of laughs and thought-provoking opinions in between the misogyny and dick jokes I mean if that isn't the most accurate description of my podcast Uh, I don't know what is um over the years long time listener here listening to yesterday's podcast I was pleasantly surprised to hear you mention love at first bite A movie that I have a soft spot for because I also saw that in the 70s at around seven or eight years old On a flight to europe. Well, weren't you a fancy kid? Uh, it being the 70s my dad smoked at least two packs during the flight What a time

What a time to be alive. I mean there's something to be said to just fucking die in a heart disease at 58 I mean just would you like Hey, can I offer you there was one answer? Yes Other than uh, was it jake lillain? Whatever his name is Guy the juicer guy, um, I've watched the movie several times since then and think it still holds up except some regrettable scenes Doesn't the the vampire do like sort of a jaundre volto disco disco dance. It was a less than enlightened time I gotta find that movie and watch it again That just seems like a great like

You know Everybody takes a gummy. Let's watch love at first bite. You know that movie where they combined Dracula with the disco craze Anyway, the film stars george hamilton susan saint james richard ben Benjamin and arty johnson shout out to arty johnson And uh shout out to ruth buzzy too who's still around You know still working too by the way And is just plain silly german helmsley

And the actress that played his wife weezy from the jefferson's have a fun cameo as well Along with anything for a laugh Mentally the movie is also a great snapshot of new york the new york I remember from the 70s with the huge cars and general scuzziness of the ed cauch error That was their mayor. Um, I think i'm all in with the cars in the realm of movies with what the fuck endings I have to nominate france at ford copulas. Yeah, because this movie ends Spoiler alert I remember she turned into a bat and the vampire was apologizing going. Ah, sorry

I doomed you to eternal life of murdering other human beings and she was just like hey I could never get my shit together before wednesday anyway You know Sort of the first zip recruiter candidate. I don't want to like Fill out applications. I'd rather fucking get bit by a vampire in the realm of movies with what the fuck endings I have to nominate francis ford copulas the conversation with gene hackman Oh, you don't like the ending to that Pre-surely feeny cindy williams and a young harrison ford. I still don't get it

Well, how do I talk well i'm going to spoil the movie for people. Um Um Basically, that's the classic monster movie where the monster you make Comes back to kill you when you're cowering in the corner going no way. I built you. I built you. I said stop obey my commands Like everything that that guy was doing You know bugging these people Places, I haven't seen the movie in a long time, but it came back to him

Where I'll have to watch that again to to to be clearer, but like His sins for doing what he did was that now he lives in paranoia and he is convinced He's basically sentenced To find that bug for the rest of his life is what I thought um You know, it's kind of a lot like show business where uh Remember patrice used to talk about show business. He goes this business makes you feel like the pimp and then

A couple years in you realize. Oh, wait a minute. No, wait. I'm still out here walking the block Um, I think that's kind of what happened to him where he thought he was in the pimp position And he realized that no everybody Is somebody's fucking street walk Um Anyway, and for an underrated film you should definitely check out the lovely neah Oh, check out with the lovely neah. I thought neah was in an An underrated film. How come I don't know about it?

Uh watch martin scorsese's the age of innocence from 1993 starring daniel day lewis winona And uh michelle pfeiffer he said it's a sleep Thanks again for the laughs and instead of fucking yourself treat yourself to an espresso. Thank you I did already this morning, but you know, it was the worst though I actually also had a vitamin c pack right before I did it. I didn't cleanse my palate So it didn't taste as good as I wanted it to but whatever I'm also

Down to like I just have one a day. I'm not going to do that shit where I get all fucking wired Uh like an idiot. All right. I'm just going to enjoy it And that's going to be it I have a sense of self control because I take those 10 days off People what I'm basically saying is that I'm better than all of you I've done the math myself and you guys weren't allowed to add the numbers and in the end I feel that I've come out on top. All right baseball caps outside of the city Why do these fucking things look so small here?

These little ripples here, but on the bottom they look big. I'm talking about the the the cardiogram of my voice here cardiology screen here Um baseball caps outside of the city. Hey bill lots of love from peru Isn't that nice? I got to get down there one of these days I want to go to the I want to go to a moto gp Um race down there in brazil that would be amazing. Anyway, I was listening to your podcast while you were talking about american football And you started talking about how baseball capitals are more prevalent Than any football related apparel

Baseball caps. I'm an idiot. I thought you were Oh god, I'm so stupid baseball caps outside of the city not capitals I just see the caps that I think the washington capitals. Sorry lots of love from peru I was listening to your podcast while you were talking about american football and you started talking about how baseball caps Are more prevalent than any football related apparel I could bet at least in my country that most people equate the yankees logo or the dodgers logo Look at that with the city itself Instead of the baseball team

Uh since baseball is not that popular south of the caribbean south of venezuela Um, there's another I would love to go to venezuela. I would love to go to colombia Um anyways, he says uh, she says hope you get the chance to visit peru and maybe see machu pichu Although you probably you should probably wait for the ongoing manifestation to stop All right, that means there's some sort of unrest. Uh, have a great week and real football is played with your feet Um

Listen, nobody says you guys can't enjoy your football. Why can't we enjoy our football our version of it, you know Um racist work event. Oh boy. Here we go. Is it racist racist racist? Hey, billy sunburn. I work in a blacked out Oh my god, like the cia this thing's blacked out and the facility recently sent out a newsletter regarding a week-long event That they will be doing for black history month. They decided that it would be a oh boy Oh boy Oh boy, here we go. Here we go I

Remember when that guy thought it would be a good idea to drop turkeys from a helicopter and he didn't realize that they didn't fly And they all splattered on the ground. I feel like this is what happens even when we We try to do something nice for black people. We're still gonna fuck it up. All right, here we go They decided that it would be a good idea to challenge all of the employees to a photo contest of us wearing our african slash caribbean attire And the winners will be rewarded special prizes I'm calling this dress like a black guy weak I would love to hear how did I how could you still be this stupid? Anyways, I would love to hear you rambling about massive mega corporation

Absolutely failing while trying to cater to the liberal crowd as well as answer these two questions I don't even think they're even trying to cater to the liberal crowd I think that this is honestly them thinking that they're doing They're making a difference I don't think their heart is in well, they're probably like well, we got to do something so people don't think we're racist I don't know it's it's it's a it's

How do you undo all of this shit? All you can try to do is as an individual is you just try to be a better person other than that I don't know what anyway, so the person says which is more racist Rewarding a white guy for dressing up as a black guy Or not rewarding a white guy dressed up as a black guy after you told them to Oh, wow, that's a good one Which is more racist rewarding a white guy, I don't think it's racist. I just think it's it's stupid This isn't like racist. They're it'd be racist if they were making fun of them. They just is just ignorant

That they think that this is what they should do They should probably, you know, maybe hire some black people and try to give them an opportunity So maybe there'd be a few black people there going like hey guy. Hey white guys. This is probably not a good idea Hey white management X. Nay on the uh, deshike Um I would what is worse. I would probably say, you know, if there's some white guy going like I'm not fucking doing this This you guys are missing the mark here. It's probably worse to punish the person for not doing that

But I don't think that this company Uh Is doing this coming from a bad place. I'm at least I'm oh, I don't I don't fuck who gives a fuck, you know It's it's close All right, and last but not least What would you what would your wardrobe of choice be for this event? Thanks for the laughs and go fuck yourself. I know exactly what it would be It would be that that uh black guy Thelonious monk little jazz hat

You know the little pill box That Thelonious monk would wear on top of his head. I would do that because neil pert also wore it So if I actually got in trouble, you know for dress dressing like Thelonious monk, I'll be like no I was I was dressing like neil pert and that would be my alibi so I could keep my cubicle How'd you like that bam immediately had the fucking answer It's how fucking white I am I can I can I can weave my way in and out of these 28 days A black history month and still have my cubicle in the end. All right psychiatrist opinion For why you suck at reading out loud

Are you fucking kidding me Jesus christ it's that bad that we had to bring a professional on here Hey billy boy freud you get it sigman freud. I am a child an adolescent psychiatrist for some reason chia he had capitalized working in a major city So, you know, I'm not a mouth-breathing moron at least on this topic. Here is the link to my credentials I'm not clicking on that fucking thing yourself involved jackass To add to my professional experience, I mean, how do I know this is you you can just fucking send a link to anything

I broke the I broke the I broke the deadlift fucking Clean jerk fucking thing whatever the hell you call here's a link to me doing it How do I know it's you all right to add to my professional experience? I also personally have a mild form of adhd That was never formerly treated until later in life But definitely has led to issues with forgetfulness and organization throughout my life All right, first of all, I just want to let you know that I'm offended that you feel because you work with children and adolescents That I'm not even adult enough. That's actually he's pretty fucking accurate. All right, I get it

You act like a child you end up getting a child psychologist to fucking figure out what your problem is. Okay fair enough um A common misconception about adhd is that it means you can't focus on things. That's not true As you yourself may have experienced people with adhd struggle to focus on certain things But hyper focus on other things that are complex and sustain their interest Yes, I believe I've talked about this and I think that you're plagiarizing me from what you listen to on the podcast You know, so you can you can fucking continue to add like legitimacy To your claims that you're a child and adolescent

psychologist Okay, I would have believed that you were the fact that you had to fucking give me a link You know, let's let's why don't we analyze you? What's going on with you that you felt the need that you had to send Your resume to me, you know, what what let's let's talk about that. What's what's going on with that? Like where's that coming from? You know talk about your childhood. Did you feel that you're Parents built you up. Do you feel that they believed in you and thought that you could achieve things? Did they not Is that why you sent me a complete stranger your resume?

Because in a way I was you know, because this is my podcast I represented an authority figure and dare I say a parental Sort of figure that that you went back to being six years old again And had to send me your fucking trumped up resume A common misconception about a dhd is that it means you can't focus I'll get rid of all that shit. That's fucking funny. I can't focus on things I just fucking literally took a left turn and then came back and started rereading what I already read This hyper focus often leads them to forget or ignore other things they can't do

Forget or ignore other things that they can't do. Okay, so the issue with hdhd isn't the inability to focus But the inability to appropriate to appropriate To appropriate allocate that focus. I think you meant appropriately allocate that focus Yes, I understand all of this. I am hyper focused when I fly a helicopter Uh, when my wife is talking to me about what our day is. I'm looking at my phone and also thinking about something I'm not focusing on anything um Yeah, I I understand this stuff

This is like like don't ever let the report or your your high school transcript Like that isn't that isn't a reflection of who you are. It's a reflection of how you felt about school Finally figured that out because if you just take it at face value like I'm dumb I'm not smart. It's like no. I I wasn't into this shit. I don't like school is way different than being stupid um Does that make sense? Another common issue is that people with adhd have trouble keeping up with how fast their thoughts are going and it tends to present itself when reading

Yeah, I found if I actually slow down I read much better. I also fucking If I get in my head and then I try to go even faster it all goes off the rails And I also think that when I'm reading slowly it sounds way slower to the listener Let's try reading the rest of this really slowly While reading the first and second word your mind is already on to the third and fourth word I've already fucked it up. It's already on to the third and fourth. I'm still stupid Uh, you can read entire sentences and paragraphs and by the end of it think what the fuck did I just read?

Yes, oh when reading out loud you stumble over your words. Yes Because your mouth can't keep up with your fast With how with your fast your thoughts are going. You know that you got a fucking psychology. You can't even write a goddamn email Or do you have hd adhd too? Is that your fucking excuse? This is an enigma. I don't know what this fucking guy is this sometimes get confused with dyslexia Although adhd and dyslexia do occur some together sometimes You're basically describing me. I have a little bit of that like when I look at billboards I think they say something other than what they say the words don't get jumbled up

But they I just look at the words. I think they say something else Uh meds and therapy can definitely help severe forms Why do you need to help it? Just You're fucking really smart your brain's going too fast for this bullshit that you don't want to fucking read Why would you drug that out of you go find something that holds your interest You know Like aviation or a pair of fucking tits

Uh, but there are plenty of people with more manageable forms who adapt and learn shortcuts and live full lives without treatment I did that until I was about 30 Hope this wasn't too hard for you to read. Well, maybe you shouldn't have so many fucking spelling errors next time Mr. Fucking resume Billy bird brain all the best to you and the kiddos and neah. Thank you, sir or ma'am. Um Yeah, I you know, I got all of that makes sense to me other than putting people on meds Uh, I don't understand why you have to go on meds because your brain is working too fast Um, I think that you should seek out something that

Makes you interested that holds your interest and focus on that and do that for a living And uh, that's it What is the problem? Um, all right delicatessen Dear billy french frowns You should watch a french film called delicatessen. Don't research it and don't let anyone spoil it for you Well, I just said the name of it. So everybody's gonna fucking tweet me the ending so that there goes that I don't give a shit. I'll still watch it. Um, thank you. I appreciate that. All right. That's the podcast everybody Um, thank you guys for giving me recommendations on movies and trying to help me with my mental health

You know while subtly sending me your fucking resume Not even subtly Congratulations to the kansas city chiefs winning their third super bowl championship. Congratulations to patrick mahomes with a very Gutty performance. Uh, congratulations to the eagles in an amazing season, um And I don't see a kansas city You know repeat. I don't see a dynasty that they're claiming. I don't see any of that. I actually I see the eagles. I see the bangles

And uh, all of that shit being a major Problem with that is what I feel. I just don't think that there's gonna be I don't know. I just wish it would go back to you have to win three in a row to be a dynasty Rather than just sort of hanging around In winning one and then not winning it for three years and actually blowing one getting your ass kicked That's not a dynasty. A dynasty is jordan Right three in a row twice The yankees pick a period in their career the celtics the lakers those are fucking dynasties

Not the fucking kansas city chiefs All right, you can take that and flush it down the fucking toilet because uh, I ain't buying it It's a lump of shit. All right, that's it. Go fuck yourselves and I'll check in on you on thursday And now the long pause I gotta have this clicker ready sooner. Bye